Don't Blame Me! - REPLAY: Guest: Kamie Crawford - His Ex’s Clothes Are Still In the Closet

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

Original Air Date: December 9, 2019 Television host Kamie Crawford is here this week to share advice! We’re answering your questions on: if you should have a backup plan, dealing with a roommate that doesn’t talk to you, flirting with a guy to get your boyfriend’s attention, and dating someone that is older than you. In Don’t Blame Them a listener shares her advice on networking in law school. Follow Us! @meghanandmelisa www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa/ @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @kamiecrawford https://www.instagram.com/therealkamie/ @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa   Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me this is an advice podcast we have a fantastic guest we've already been talking to this whole time because we all have friend crushes on her it's cammy crawford oh um you guys might i mean if you're watching you're the okay i said i wasn't gonna say how pretty you are but i told them i was like you guys look at her like she's like you're so you're you're and your instagram is beautiful thank you and i am like so much time and i'm an asshole about instagram like i have presets like i sell presets oh no i don't do that like that's far oh no yeah because i'm insane but i yeah 100 um also you are now on the list of i think it's now three scorpios who i don't hate

yeah that is special that's do you do you like any leos i had one leo friend she turned out to be a complete sociopath there you go we were friends for like 13 years and i didn't know that she lied to me about her entire life oh my god and would like bawl her eyes out to me about boys that she had never even met holy so that's my experience with leo's see that's my experience with scorpios see just all psychopaths all fucking psychopaths but that's the thing people always get mad at me when i'm saying like yeah i don't really get along with scorpio it's like because we're too similar and i'm crazy yeah and therefore when i'm with someone who's too much like me i'm like no i know you i know your vibe i know you're fucking crazy you're like me and you're fucking psycho

and that's why it never works yeah no most of my friends are virgos and virgos are great scorpios oh yeah i've got some leo friends i've got i've got almost the only one i've never i'm not friends with i have no sages in my life not one sagittarius i used to have one and then she turned out to be a psychopath yeah so i had a sociopath leo and then a psychopath sagittarius and you're like i'll stick to virgos yeah and scorpios because we just love each other and we just talk about how we're better than everyone that's me and my leo friends we're just like we're the best this is crazy um but uh you have been on catfish yes and that is how we've discovered you and we um we we take ourselves as like the female catfish and this is like we just knew that you're gonna be

so good on this and giving advice because you're so honest and i love it it's like being a therapist without, I tell my friends, I'm like, I'm a therapist, but I don't have any actual qualities of being a therapist or qualifications at all. Yeah. No one should listen to me, but they do. That's why we call our podcast. Don't blame me. Cause we're like, we're going to give you all this advice, but legally you can't come for us. You can't blame us at all. And if we fuck it up or if we totally misjudge the whole situation. Yeah. I love that. Cause I give advice and I'll be like but i don't know i'm just saying i'm just running out there but i'm just it's up to you but you should do it but i'm just putting out there just putting out there um i should give

you guys a number for uh if you want to be an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and you can send us if you're an international listener you can record an audio message and send it to us at meganpodcast at gmail.com and uh i guess we should hop into giving some people advice. Yay. Roll the tapes. Hello. Um, okay. Well, my name is anonymous. Um, and I am 20 years old and I am a student in New York and I moved from a like small town. Well, It's actually not that small, but, you know, it's Southern, and so I'm trying not to be identifiable, and I am an acting student, and I really have wanted to be an actor my whole life.

I'm super fortunate that I have super, super parents. Sorry, I'm lost in the babysitting, and I'm, like, trying not to be late. Okay, and I am currently in my junior year, and I'm kind of freaking out because I feel like, I have no idea what the heck I'm going to do after college, and I know that my school has all these resources, and I'm kind of freaking out because I just don't know what to do. Everyone's always talking about a backup plan, and I'm just wondering if your opinion on a backup plan that you're trying to get after, if that means that you are giving yourself a way out, or that you're not as committed, or if you think it's a really viable idea.

But also, I'm almost halfway done with my junior year. My school doesn't exactly make it easy for me to have a minor. So, like, it's not a super viable option for me. But I can, like, take classes and other stuff. And I kind of wanted to be a teacher, but my mom said that if I'm going to have a backup plan, it might as well be something that makes money. You know, like, if I'm not going to be making money, I might as well be an actor that's not making money. okay well yeah you know but i don't really know what to do i'm really freaking out i don't know

i'm having like a i don't know just like like like a fifth way through my life right okay um yeah well thank you i hope this is under three minutes she's running late shorty sounds like she is in distress she is she needs a cocktail but she's 20 yeah and she's going to babysit she's going to be a nanny and you had a whole minute left yeah and also it sounded like you're gonna get hit by a car like that was take a break yeah that was hectic did you go to college i did okay i did i have very black parents so i absolutely had to yeah it was not an option yeah it's not an option my mom's jamaican my dad's from like detroit and made it out the hood so i did not have an option no i was going to college so i went to fordham

okay well my freshman year i went to university of alabama that was like a i'm gonna do what i want big 10 school right isn't that what it's called whatever yeah who fucking cares football yeah i didn't know i think that was like me throwing a ball touchdown but i thought i wanted to be a dermatologist like my whole life and then i got to college freshman year realized that that's not what i wanted to do at all had a panic attack in the parking lot outside of my biology class cried on the floor next to my car called my mom and told her i want to be on tv you're me but i didn't realize mine into junior year when i was almost done like i studied biology as well was going to dental school so yeah see my mom was like thank you for telling me this

now versus later but who even fucking knows who they want to be or what they want to do it doesn't matter she's 20 you're 20 years old you don't know who you are yeah sit down yeah it's okay and also like the idea of like oh getting a minor I don't know any friends who's like college degree like aside from people who like had a like a math whatever a math science degree and you had to do something in that field most of my friends are doing something so different than their major so I don't like a backup plan you don't even have to really think there's nothing you need to do about a backup plan right now and I think like I don't know I also think like I don't think having a backup plan makes you any more or less like dedicated to like what you want to do exactly

but I think having like multiple like streams of income I think is the smart thing I think like with acting and tv anything like you have to put your hours in and you it's it's amount of like hours you put in but then it's also like sheer luck yes and that's something that like once you start getting older you're not necessarily acquiring any new skills because it's not something that you can practice yeah because you have to someone else is to give you an opportunity it's not like a self-starter and so it to a certain extent a backup plan i think you just you have to have something that's going to pay your bills and i think it's smart to have something that pays your bills that you can continue to do for an extended period of time that you could

potentially move like up in if like even if you continue to nanny maybe you end up like you realize a couple of years in that you want to be work in daycare you want to work with kids and do stuff like that i think like as opposed to getting a job um if if you the security for you don't want to get a job at like a restaurant or something that's like yeah i don't know you don't have to get like a desk job nine to five but i think like having a like a source of income is great and also not to be like so like actory but any life experience is also going to like help you in your craft quote unquote yeah that I think like that's a good plan but I think like moving to a city and then be like I'm just gonna audition and then hope it happens yeah that doesn't I don't

know any anyone who's an actor who doesn't have regardless of like a backup plan it's more like this is like I don't know it's like point it's like this is my number one priority and these are the things I do to support that priority but at a certain point if that's not gonna happen I have all these other things that aren't my backup plan it's not like a whole separate career but I have like a source of income. I have a way to do this. And like, I can change this into like maybe a career path later on. Yeah. I think your passions can be your backup plan eventually. Like I obviously love being a TV host. I've been doing it for over seven years. Like you don't realize how much work you're putting into it until the big break happens or like something major happens

and you're like, Oh shit. Yeah. I deserve this. I've been doing this for, you know, 10 plus years or however long you've been doing it. And you feel like you actually deserve it at that point. but I think that to make a backup plan of like, okay, well, I need to come up with something that's going to be impressive to my parents or like something that's going to make me a million dollars. Like how about just having other passions in life? I love graphic design. I model on the side. Like these are things that make me money. I do social media campaigns and like, I would love to be an event planner one day. Like these are things that I actually enjoy and love doing. So try to figure out what you like like if you even like acting yeah figure out that yeah because if

that's going to be your bread and butter and that's going to be like your main thing in the world it's more important in your 20s to figure out what it is that you like and then move forward from there yeah and learn how to work too because i think like if you like going from being like teacher to actor like the thing they're so different like as an actor like again like you don't you you're not like a self-starting kind of work thing and i don't know if you you're very supportive parents i don't know if they're potentially like paying for a lot of like your expenses but like get a good work ethic in and like it sounds like you do your nannying you're doing all of that stuff but i think like the more like life experience you can have in like

hobbies and passions that you like you might find that oh i really enjoy this other thing yeah and it could end up taking over and also like it's gonna be like an ebb and flow sort of thing like it's going to be like for a couple of years, you might like this and then you might like this and change that. But I don't think you don't need to pick one thing and stick to it. And if you can like have a bunch of varying interests and activities that you do, I don't think you're going to feel like, Oh shit, well I put all of my energy into this one thing and now it's not working. And now I have nothing like just have all those other like little things. And you might not know, like I got really into baking when I was in, uh, probably like end of college, but

mostly, yeah, probably end of college. And then when I dropped out of college and now I'm like, oh end of college i mean and sure okay fine end of my first quarter of my second year i always i tell her i was like so like when i graduated she's like you'd never graduate but when i was the age that everyone else was when they graduated that's what i'm giving you that life point but like i always said like i would then want to do something in baking but like i never knew like i didn't know that like and it's not like i needed like a minor in anything like that it was like something fun that i discovered that i really like to do yeah and so i think like from there and also yeah i think i will also say like acting in the industry is like

it's incredibly hard and i do think if you have any sort of like second guess is not like oh can i do this but oh do i want to have this life you're gonna be miserable and i'm getting all this rejection all you're gonna be yeah yeah so if it's not if it's not like your ultimate goal it's gonna it's gonna suck to see your friends have their nine to five jobs to like have all this like their regular schedule and their routine and they're like work friends and all that stuff and you're not gonna have that and it's gonna be like really hard know that and also know that like if that's not your thing it's fine yeah that's so fine and having a minor in mandarin is not going to prepare you it's not gonna change anything no because anything in entertainment you can make it

and even after you make it even after that big movie or whatever it could be quiet for like the next year and a half and you have to you have to let your passion for that fuel the fire within you to keep on going or you're just gonna be like fuck this i'm gonna let me just go teach a second grade class something i don't really want to do but my mom always thought i would be good at it like no i'm honestly sick and tired of hearing young people because i'm 27 now but i i'm sick tired of hearing just people in general talk about things that their parents want for them more than they talk about what they want for themselves like we hear our parents of course like we grow up that our parents are like you can be a firefighter you are going to be a great

lawyer and you're like i don't think so yeah because i party every night and i don't want to study and fuck fire yeah exactly and also i don't want to die so like there's there are certain things that you know that you don't have the qualities for but your parents say like you would be great at it and so you then you i feel like we don't learn how to just think for ourselves yeah even like politically i feel like i know so many people who their parents are this so then they're this like what do you care about what do you think what do you believe in what are you passionate about when you get to the age of realizing that your parents are like just people who like have the same knowledge that you do and that all that where before you're like

oh no they have this like when you become a parent you get like this book of all-knowing power and all of this stuff and then you get older and you're like oh no you don't know shit you know what i know i don't know shit so like why am i trusting believing you with everything i don't know what the fuck i'm doing exactly yeah it's it's it's a hard thing to like figure out but i think you'll figure it out and also if you don't figure it out it'll just you'll go between and then eventually it'll happen it happens yeah it happens eventually but just focus on what you love think about that first and acting's not fun i'll just tell you that the audition it's not it's not a good time i could never be an actress it's terrible i'm a shitty actress it's terrible

And for some reason, like on press releases, they'll write Cammie Crawford, actress slash. I'm like, ooh, what? They're like, you've been on TV. Yeah, not in that way. I'm not acting as yourself. I've been so good. I've become so good at just being myself. Pretending to be somebody else.

I can't do it. Oh, I love it. It's so nice. It's such an escape. I feel like I would love it, but I would be horrible at it. So there's no point even auditioning me. Hi, Megan, Larissa, and guest. I am 21, and I am in college, and I'm dealing with a really bad situation at the moment, which I guess I caused.

But basically, I just graduated college, and I am roommates with this girl that I just met a couple semesters ago while I was still in college. And basically, back story of it, she knew that I liked this guy, and then she started liking this guy, the same guy. and she ended up pursuing him so I stepped back and they dated for about six months on and off and it was really toxic and she was always crying they were always fighting and arguing and so they finally broke up and she's moved on to this other guy that she's like while she was in that other relationship she's like this guy and so now they're dating and they're happy and she was telling me you know she's forgetting about her ex and you know she's really happy and so while this is happening she's with this other guy I am talking still because he

and I were friends with the guy that I liked that she dated her ex and you know he and I have been getting closer and we revealed that we liked each other and we have since before my roommate and him dated and so you know that those feelings were put out there and we kissed and now I'm happy it's like okay well now I have to tell her because I felt guilty so I told her and basically you know she screamed at me and yelled at me and said that I betrayed her and that I'm the reason they're not getting back together and that he doesn't actually like me he's just with me because he can't be alone just all these mean things to hurt me and they did and so she told me that she needed space to um make her decision because she felt that I chose him over our friendship so I gave her space

But instead of, you know, eventually coming back to talk about it, she has blocked me on all social media and lost my number. Even though we sleep in the same room together, she ignores my existence. She's doing little mean things by, like, cutting the light off on me when I'm obviously, you know, still using it. And just taking forever in the bathroom and closing the doors in my face when I'm trying to get in the closet. I don't know, just mean things. And, you know, I've talked to some people about it and they say, you know, I didn't do anything wrong. but I just feel like I deserve all the things and I don't know if I should continue

to let her do all these things because I feel like I deserved it because you know I broke girl code I don't know it's just a lot and I really need some advice Megan and it would be really helpful if you gave some but yeah

I forgot that they live together because I was about to say she's better than me because I would have told her ass but it I would have just blocked her yeah and moved on you were the friend you were the other girl the girl that was in a toxic relationship with him and she knows better oh yeah really this is like this i i hate to like aid shame or whatever but like uh this is so like a young thing of being like oh he picked me this

is great and you forget the fact that like oh yeah he dated my roommate and he was so terrible to her and it was so toxic and she was crying to me all the time about it and like i've said before that like you can have a toxic relationship without being like a toxic person like you're not gonna you don't necessarily bring that into every relationship but like i mean this totally sounds like that this is not a good call and i think like you did break girl code like a hundred percent and him saying that like oh no i liked you before like melissa was saying during the call then why didn't he date you yeah like if he liked you he would have dated you not her what's that movie with um kate hudson it's always on e he's just not how to lose a guy in 10 days no no no

no no gold whichever one you watch it's great the other one the girl with the brown hair is in it okay what's her name what's what do they do oh my god okay so kate hudson is the friend of this girl who was like in law school with this guy and she always had a crush on him and then he meets kate hudson one night is that it yeah playing for keeps is that always something borrowed oh that's the one i was gonna say devil wears prada or sex in the city because those are the only things no something borrowed is it and the girl goes with whatever she's dating the guy no she's not dating the guy she's in law school with the guy okay and then she's like out one night and kate hudson comes and then he had a crush on the girl and then he meets kate hudson

and she was like oh no like go like you guys would be so cute together and then they end up getting engaged and then while they're engaged he's like but no i really loved you this whole entire time but you like let me go off with this girl this sounds like this situation like from the very start when she told you that she was into him you should have stepped it up and said actually you know i've been into him or i have been into him this whole time then you can decide from there who's breaking girl code or not yeah because if my friend tells me that she likes someone yeah or has been liking someone that i now all of a sudden like i'm immediately off of them because of the fact that my friend is and i'm also interested i there if my friend's into someone

i will immediately like they do not have a penis they're not a sexual being i think you are absolutely disgusting i don't want to touch you the 10-foot pole but i'm very happy for you yes like that's that it is like i just like yeah but i also wonder how much you actually like him because i couldn't step if i really like really liked someone and someone else was like into that i couldn't step aside no like in that way that this to me just seems like it just yeah i think it feels like maybe you didn't like him as much as you thought you felt rejected then he came back around and you're like i'm the winner i win and it feels really great that he picked you and i'm sure he's saying a lot like talking a lot of shit on your roommate about like how crazy she was and

how like it's always been you all along but like if you like look at the fact that wasn't you all along he didn't pursue you and like if he was that crazy about you he even could have even as soon as she started pursuing him he probably would have like just shut her down even if he was too shy to like pursue something with you he wouldn't have gone along and dated someone else especially someone who was your roommate knowing that that could have fucked his chances over with you yeah that like no offense it just makes again i say it's out of love it just makes you look dumb like he's pulling one over you like if he cared about you he would have never dated your roommate because if he really cared about you and thought and also thought highly of you and thought

like you were a great person. He would be like, yeah, no, she's not going to date someone who fucked her, who used to date her roommate and treat her roommate like shit. Yeah. And like, he's just getting away with it. And now look what's happening. You guys are turning on each other versus you turning on him together because of the fact that like, I think that the thing that a lot of people, especially women forget is that men do exactly what they want to do. People do exactly what they want to do, but men in particular, when they want something, they go for yeah so they're not gonna just let you pass on by to go and like hook up with your roommate like that's not what they're gonna do when they really really want you yeah so being an afterthought I

would just be like screw you like don't ever talk to me like I would be offended no me too because I'm your second choice now like but even thinking even considering it like you said it is like a younger thing to just even consider the fact that like oh well he came back to me so clearly and you have to be careful with stuff like that because you don't want that to be the way that you handle relationships moving forward in life because as you get older like people are married yeah so like if a married man is approaching you and you're like well he picked me like he's divorcing his wife he's not no he's not divorced no you're worth yeah no you're worth and what happens when your roommate gets out of relationship with that person and then all of a sudden the guy

that you both have been interested in this whole time goes back to her. And you're going to be looking like a mug, as they say on Love Island. You can't. I think we just became best friends. No, did you see that moment on my face? I had to look at you. All I've been doing all day is telling them how much I need

to watch Love Island. It's all I've watched the last three weeks. It's so good. I've dedicated over a hundred hours of my life. I got my boyfriend into it. We stayed up till 2 a.m. last night watching it, and now we exclusively, he only calls me Bruv, and I'm his bird he's like rough it's my bird over here what season are you on um we start so i already watched season one but he'd never watch it so now we're we're we're like halfway through season two

of the oh my god oh yeah i'm so do you know what happened no don't tell me don't tell me i can i not give names but can i tell you no don't tell me it doesn't happen on the show no no no no oh wait are you mean about afterwards like three like the really sad thing yeah i know i he told me he looked it up and then it's that's my toxic trait is googling fuck that people on love island before i finished the season that was season one and i was like i will never do it again no and then my boyfriend says he did it and then i was like wow this is way darker i just found out how season one ended you found out something way sadder yeah yeah let's move on and then i couldn't watch the rest of the season for the same i was like i cried last night and i was like you're fucking and i'm

just crying watching you fuck because i'm sad if you guys don't watch love island no one's gonna understand no but you have to it's great i'm on season four right now yeah yeah it's so it's a great show though it's an amazing show but uh wow i really fully lost my train of thought this girl she's getting mugged off yeah what's happening you yeah you are and also like this is just like i think like i when i was younger and i think like thankfully people are growing up and like young girls are growing up in a much more like i don't know we had girl power but in like girl how i dressed barbie like it was never like real feminist stuff necessarily and i think like when i was younger like i definitely had the mentality of like oh i'm gonna win like the competition

between you and other girls yeah um and it's it's not a good habit to get into and if you can kick that really early and recognize like when your friends and even people you might not be like that close with come to you about like guys treating them like shit or drama stuff like believing them and listening to them and then even if like you can register and think like oh yeah my roommate's crazy and she's like so overdramatic just knowing like well then i don't want to get into someone with someone who's also been with like who's dealing with that drama and that is drama in general and avoiding that kind of drama because like you said once you get older the stakes get so much higher yeah and it's just not worth it and you're going to end up in a situation

where you're this is going to be kind of your habit because this is how you this is how you're going to have those feelings for people is you're only going to feel like you really like someone when you know you beat somebody else yeah and then that's it's not about like your actual feelings for him it's more about like oh i won and then that's where your confidence comes from as a woman and as like a woman exploring different relationships being somebody's second option is not yeah and that's not in your control at all and that's something that you don't want to put your happiness and like your value and worth in everyone else's hands and something that you literally cannot control at all yeah because like no one's going to be careful with that at all and

then you're going to be like well fuck i feel like shit all the time because it's nothing coming from you but say deuces to this guy because yeah not fucking apologize to your roommate yeah and just like move forward yeah he's not worth it he never was worth it goodbye yeah yeah you're not the exception to the rule yeah unfortunately never no one is no one is at all it's like my cousin actually dated someone who like was married and then they fell in love and they were soulmates same way you get them is the same way you lose them so enjoy that but it only lasts for so long should we go on to the next so i'm 18 and i just moved out like a month ago um but i moved out across the street from this guy who he's like my best he's my best friend um at this point like

he just is um and we also live right down the street from his ex-girlfriend um and they're both 21 he just turned 21 like three days ago he's across the country like having fun partying it up like with his family which is cool for him um so anyway we've been friends me and this guy we've been friends for about three months now which doesn't seem like a long time but like we just are such good friends like i know that like that's a long time for like me as an 18 year old but like we're just such good friends it's just as one of those things we just clicked really easily and he and his girlfriend broke up about a month into me knowing him and he had been planning on breaking up with her for a while he tried to break up with her like

back in February and then this time around he like broke up with her she was like no bitch and like clawed him and so he literally still has like marks on him from where from like where she scratched him um which is disgusting and physical abuse is like over overloved whatever it's a girl to a guy but i just which anyway that's not the point of this call um so her clothes are still in his closet oh by the way he told me that he was into me like a month into us knowing each other like the day that they like actually broke up um i definitely forgot to say that oops um but yeah so like we've been taking it really slow we know that like he just got out of a relationship I've been like I do not want to get in a relationship with you until until you are 100% ready because

that is not fair to me if like you're not ready but you just want a relationship and that's not her um and so anyway her clothes are still in his closet and this morning her car was in his driveway and I don't love that he's out of town so like she definitely like put her car there and he's not there and I know that for a fact but her clothes are still in his closet and some have been appearing in her closet um or in his closet and she's over there just like with his roommate like hanging out because they're all friends but like it's just odd that her clothes are still in his closet so like how do I tell him like hey that makes me really uncomfortable get those the fuck out of here because we are going

almost two months doing this and this is still very scatterbrained but thank you so much for your help and action she's like her clothes are in his closet her car is in his driveway

his dick is in her vagina that is exactly what's happening I hate to break it to you he is not partying with his family he's partying with her he is home in his bed in his basement he's all the lights are off and he's in his basement and she's sneaking into the window and they're fucking they're fucking they're fucking because no i'm sorry if a guy is done with

you like really done with you oh yeah i got a box of shit dropped off at my dorm room front door but like you're not just gonna be like you know what he's saying he's done but i'm not so i'm just gonna go over there and just hang out in his room i'm gonna go suck his dick yeah and he's gonna be like no don't suck my dick just put a few clothes in the closet before you leave at least like yeah store your sweaters more clothes are appearing and she just lives down the street too so it's not like it's a long drive for her to get home oh yeah why did she she doesn't have a driveway sorry or a closet or a closet oh my god you're so right i didn't even think about that part oh my god i'm sorry this is not good and you just yeah that he's lying someone is lying

yeah yeah and also i always think the immediate red flag with anyone if you ever meet anyone who's in a relationship and they immediately go yeah my girlfriend and i are gonna break up soon yeah no no they're a piece of shit i'm into you yeah and i'm by the way super into you like they're a piece of shit like they are a piece of shit and they're not breaking up wife and kids they got it all like oh this is it's not this is not a real situation no this is what you need to do you need to wear all black ski mask and you need to get onto his property you need to stake out and listen like literally let do you hear music anywhere anything follow her figure it out and you will see this is why this podcast is called don't blame me because you will absolutely get arrested

but like also like how do you know that her car is there like they all live on the same street they all live on the same street oh i was gonna say what are you doing doing neighborhood watch god this neighborhood watch also like are you in a dorm like that's like how do you know because it's a driveway so why do they all live on one street it looks very stepford yeah if you're in college you're all like living in like the same yeah neighborhood you know it's like what was the question what should she do about the clothes what's that no the clothes were like the least of your worries yeah he you need to i think you need to because no offense i think like you're so blind to this because like literally the way

like the the fact that you could say the clothes are like magically it's not magic like they're appearing because she's bringing them he doesn't care that you're seeing these no he doesn't care he's not even doing no he's like i gotta hide it like she doesn't know she's as easy so i don't know why she keeps leaving more clothes every time she comes here she just leaves more underwear you need to like you need to find that evidence for yourself to realize that like he's still doing her and if that means sneaking around and seeing that he is not actually in barcelona with his parents like also the pictures are from like three years ago he's just like uploading pictures yeah oh my god like like the idea that he's partying it up with his family in europe like he's really

she questioned it because she was like it's good for him like good for him i guess no because you're like wow that's weird and it is weird because i don't think that's where he is no because your best friend is fucking his best friend which is the other bitch that is down the street because that's his actual friend you guys have known each other for two seconds you they're fucking and if you need the evidence find it yeah but otherwise i would just say like don't because right now you i always hate to say this but like i get the blinders on but like you look super dumb in this situation and i think if you could if you need the evidence get it and then get out otherwise if you don't need that evidence just get out because like all it's doing is going

to make you feel absolutely crazy and think you live in the matilda house because you're like close what the fuck it's just so good has she looked through the clothes like i would be look are there are there sweat stains deodorant marks in the t-shirt like is it fresh is the call coming from inside the house right what is happening yes no i would do the exact same thing also like you know that it's her specific clothes like you would have had to ask like whose clothes are these she's definitely going on her instagram yeah i see that brandy melville top bitch i know what that looks like but also i wonder like why like at 18 like why do you have like why do you keep shit at your significant other's house that lives down the street 21 yeah oh true she's old she's

older now but like why why like i just this is dumb this is so dramatic and dumb and like this is also why like guys grow up and like i meet guys not now i'm single i mean i'm not i'm not single when i was single mox is listening like what i could just say that because he's never will never listen um but like this is how i meet guys who are like in their late 20s and early 30s and are so fucking dumb and like think they're being sneaky and getting away with shit i'm like what i'm like oh because from you have been doing this for so long and girls have been like okay for sure magic this is this is how men grow up to be adults where you're like has no one called you on your shit yeah it's crazy because they're like

yeah so what do i do about the clothes no no no that the clothes are not the problem friend he is the fucking he's the problem a hundred percent and i bet you could even like ask this girl and like be like talk to her and she's like oh yeah we're still like what do you mean like that's my other closet yeah like but i i don't even think she'd lie i think she's like no we're still together like that's my boyfriend she literally put her claws in him you think that you're gonna get away with that also she's a scorpio or a leo and i would stay she'll she'll fuck you up run away i would i he still has scars that's what she said leave her clothes right where they are and just don't touch them she's got like all those cameras inside the house she's in the house

she's living underneath his bed they're both in the basement and also oh god i just want to know like are you checking it's so weird why is her car in the driveway like i'm also just picturing that they live three houses down it's very stepford wifey and the car is just there as opposed to here yes you're like why that's weird yeah why is she what if it's a prius and it's not even her maybe yeah the clothes are not the problem the clothes are not the problem so don't break up be done not that you're dating just be done i'm not even dating i know you can fall in love with people really fast i've done it it's it's a possibility and then you hate them really quick yeah but it's not your best friend no he's not even showing

best friend qualities no and even like what i think like three months in this is like this is the time that i'm pretending i don't poop i don't fart i'm where i wake up with makeup on like i am like if this is he's putting his best foot forward this is his best foot forward and you want to be with him can you imagine what the rest of imagine two years in what's it like he doesn't have an empty drawer or a suitcase he could put the clothes in when you come over or like a locked closet like airbnb like you can't even just hide at all a little no just say no he's like two years in she's fucking her in front of you and then he's like she's like has a whole room that's at the house too yeah no i just it's a model home room it's just for photos and showing no one lives here

and then he's just fucking her being like you didn't see anything and she's still like what do i do about the clothes like he's so there's like a toddler walking around weirdly looks a lot like you and her i don't know what you're talking about it's the ghost she drops that kid off here sometimes so no we need to call boys on their bullshit because then just you think about you're helping all of these other women later on down the road and the yeah girls are doing such a shitty job no because we're just like letting them being like okay sure okay fine that's fine come pick her clothes yeah we're faking orgasms left and right and now we're like why is everyone bad at

this why are you going down on me more you're like oh okay cool because i lied it was like for sure yeah when i give you a hand job i also finish it's just so excited we're doing ourselves a disservice but i mean i definitely contributed to it when i was younger but now i'm like don't fucking do it the clothes i can't the emails what about the emails that's how i feel truly oh that's so funny uh and if you need help um slide into my dms and with her instagram and i can and his instagram and i can i'll figure out well because her first picture is probably them together in his house in his bed in her clothes he's geotagging barcelona but he's like at his house yes he just has like a green screen behind him yeah he's not he doesn't even care that much

no he's just on his rooftop yeah a glass of sangria and she's standing like right next to him yeah it's one of those like hand travel photos i saw someone take one of those and i was like you look so dumb she's like and she was like leaning so far back and her boyfriend was like oh my her boyfriend is like i hate my life so fucking pissed i took one of those with my sister oh that's cute sister she's my sister she's never leaving me yeah yeah that's different very different my boyfriend would kill me my boyfriend's not doing it no hell no anytime i ask him take a picture he's like we'll take three and not even look he's just looking around yeah

okay we're done i'm still upset about the clothes i can only think of matilda now i really want to watch it okay guys it's time for a quick break you'll be back okay guys we're back from our break and we're getting to the rest of the calls hi megan um i am 22 years old and i have a boyfriend who's 23 we've been together for three and a half years now um so we kind of started off with the relationship where he didn't really want a relationship and um fast forward three months and we got together um so I'm calling in this kind of just the background um we fight a lot um occasionally and he's broken up with me multiple times as well

um we always get back together of course um he sells weed um and my dad found out about that huge thing doesn't like him um so that's always great to hear from him um so the reason why I'm calling is so I have recently been flirting with one of the guys at work and um I obviously told my boyfriend about it because I felt so bad um his answer was he knows that I'm a flirt doesn't think flirting is cheating which is okay great um but I I guess I'm just At the point where I don't know what else to do. I really enjoy flirting with this other person. We actually, unfortunately, ended up kissing one night, which, I mean, wasn't that great, but okay.

I guess I just don't know what else to do anymore. I really do love my boyfriend, but it's gotten to the point where I ask him why he wants to be with me, And he just says he doesn't know or his answer is because, you know, we have good sex or he gives good head, which thanks for the compliment, but that doesn't help me at all. Yeah, I just don't know what else to do. I also don't know if it's the new antidepressant medication that I started. I just started like a month ago and I've been feeling a lot like this recently. So if you could help me out, that'd be great. thanks megan and friend oh you girl uh your boyfriend but i also think like you're asking

him if he why he wants to be with you like why do you want to be with him yeah i don't think you guys like each other no i think i think this relationship has run its course yeah and yeah and yeah she was like flirting with the guy at work and wanted her boyfriend to be mad yeah and he didn't get mad that's a mean move that's a hundred percent like hey i'm flirting with someone i was like hey cool i'd be like what it's not cool but aren't you upset like i don't care i don't actually like him i'm doing this to get a reaction she clearly doesn't they kissed and there was no spark obviously yeah there's nothing there between her and the co-worker no she just likes the attention and that's fine because people flirt and like yeah everyone every

human being likes attention especially if you're in a relationship with someone you're not getting that attention there everybody wants to feel wanted but like even going back to tell your boyfriend that you were trying to get a rise out of him it didn't work and now you're questioning his loyalty yeah i don't know this ain't it sis like it's neither of these guys are it and i think like you there's a hard thing that comes with like and we've had calls like this before about like breakups when like nothing is like there's no like blow up nothing's like specifically wrong and so i think you're also trying to find like oh let me like maybe fall for somebody else and so that can be the reason why you break up because i have feelings for somebody else you don't need to

and you don't like your co-worker yeah you can like realize that like oh i like flirting i don't like you because we kissed i didn't feel anything but like i like flirting maybe i want to be single maybe i want to keep doing this for a while because like your boyfriend doesn't also seem to like care in a way that like i think you would want you're clearly doing because you want him to care and if he doesn't care then like it's just like not i don't know it's just not it yeah it's it sounds like i mean i i've been in a relationship like this where it started when i was 19 18 and we were together for six years oh wow but throughout the six years i was like this is not working like we don't actually have anything in common but like let me just keep

with it because it's been a long time and like we've it would be cute to have like a high school sweetheart like the idea of it what you don't realize is so much happens with you and your brain and just like your life between teenage years to your 20s now you guys are getting to like your mid-20s where your life is changing like things are changing and it's okay to be done with something yeah it doesn't like you said there doesn't have to be like a huge fight or like somebody cheats like don't even get to that point it's not even worth it when i broke up with my ex boyfriend then nothing happened he didn't do anything he's not a bad person he just wasn't the person for me and there's nothing wrong with that and it also sounds like she said she's you

know dealing with mental health things like focus on that i wouldn't even be focusing on which guys neither one of them you're gonna end up with neither one of them are you gonna be with in the next five years so just cut your losses and keep it pushing and did you say that he breaks broke up with you a bunch of times yes broken up sounds like you can try and get out and then you just give him head and then he's like yeah oh this is great i love it and also when that's his response i would be like so do you want to break up like that to me it's not there isn't like a support there and i think like it sounds like that's so for me personally that's also something i need like i need attention i need to know you really care about me like i'm not like a

i'm not a succulent like i'm a demanding plant like i am like i'm like a fucking ficus or something like lots of water air like i like you sunlight you can't leave me alone like i like i don't want you can't just throw me in a corner and be like i'll survive i'm the opposite i'm like a plastic plant from home goods like leave me the fuck alone and come to me when i need you to to like dust me off that's my life oh yeah i need i need so much more i want like a uv light like i want all of it set the temperature high in the room yeah all vitamin packs yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Um, so like, and that's not, you sound more like me in that situation. And I think like, there's nothing, there's nothing like wrong with that. And there's something like a relationship

can, it can have served you for a certain point. He could have been that for you. And if he's not that now, and that's okay. And it's, it's not about getting back to that before and getting back to how it was because you guys are going to be different and your needs are going to be different. And if he's like, yeah, if he's just saying that that's the reason, like why he's with you I don't know to me it kind of sounds like you're waiting you're sticking around and like waiting for something to happen and like it might not ever happen like he might not ever cheat on you you guys just might live like unhappily ever after and like I think that there's I don't know I I think you're both probably on the same page and it's like a good idea to like take a step

back from it and like you said focus on mental health stuff and like focus on yourself and like I don't know you seem excited and you really liked the flirting aspect of it like when you're single you can do that with lots of people all the time and maybe somebody you actually like yeah and like i think it'll be better and also like you want someone who's like supportive and makes you like feel like wanted and good and nice and he's clearly not that and yeah i don't know i'm not i'm not here for like waiting around for guys to do that at all and if you're waiting for him to break up with you he's tried so yeah you're not letting it happen let it happen he's like try letting him break up with you and then saying okay and then leaving yeah don't have sex no sex

always brings people back together oh my god on love highland too every night they all just fuck in one room once they get in the hideaway anything can happen oh fucking anything uh love it it's so good but yeah be done be done this is on to the next call hello megan melissa and guest I'm 22 years old, and the guy that I'm with is 34 years old. So I understand there is a 12-year difference. I'm okay with that. He is okay with that. My issue is I live with my brother.

Well, my brother and I live together. He's 19, and we pretty much stay out of each other's business. But I've been wanting this guy that I'm seeing to spend the night at our apartment with me in my room, of course. And I guess my problem is how do I tell my brother? Like, I understand that he might suspect things. He also has a girlfriend that spends the night a lot, and I have no problem with that. but I just I want to tell him that I'm seeing someone and that I want him to spend the night but I don't want him to tell our mom my mom I love her but she's one of those like helicopter moms

that like wants to know everything that's going on and she doesn't know I'm seeing someone especially at this age that he's 34 um and i don't know how she feel about it and i'm not going to tell her unless it's something really serious so i guess my question is just like how do i tell him and uh i guess make him swear to secrecy to not tell my mom i'm really concerned about this uh thank you very much if you are dating a 34 year old who does not have a better apartment than you why are you dating a 34 year old this is this is my issue oh my god the age difference okay but the fact that he's even comfortable with coming over to your apartment to sleep in your room for your 19 year old brother to be next what does he have a roommate

it sounds like he has three or four like if you're going to date someone who is whatever 10 let's say 10 plus years older than you they need to have a luxury car a fireplace they need to have an air fryer yeah they need to have no roommates they need to have a headboard two bedside tables with matching barrel wine glasses they need to have rugs big ones with the long yes they need rugs they need like a floor runner art they need yes art they need art on the walls that's not from ikea yeah and they and and they need like um like a wake not even a vacation home but like they can't they go to europe at least for two weeks every year yeah and yachting they've been yachting they've been yachting you can't date a 34 year old who's like yeah no let's go to your place like

yeah my all my like 10 buddies are there like your brother's cool he's 19 i haven't done laundry in like three weeks like that's just like if you're oh it's just gross no it's gross i would not feel good about that if i'm gonna date an older guy and i'm like a young hottie yeah you better be what are you bringing to the table and also here's the other thing my gut thing would be like don't tell your brother that he's your age and if he's so old that he does not that he looks then you need to find someone else yes like there's just no reason at all and i get like you're coming from like the perspective of like oh we have a great connection he's awesome he's not coming from that perspective yeah he's like this girl is really young and hot and i want to get that like it's

just about the physical stuff and also like here's the thing that like i wish people had told me when i like was younger and was like interested in older guys or whatever it wasn't until i started dating my boyfriend who he's he's like three and a half almost four years older than me he was like we were friends for a year and a half before and he was like there i could he's like i can't date someone who's your age like at all like he was so grossed out by that until we really got to know each other and he didn't tell any of his friends how old i was because he was like it makes me look so gross like i hate the idea of like how young i was like i feel like predatory even though again i was well over i was like 22 when we started dating yeah but he was like no me at 22 and like

i just like i don't like that and didn't tell any of his friends how old i was yeah like and most of them until this year all of them like oh wait so when are you turning 30 i was like uh four and a half years and they're like what i've got some time yeah and they're like wait what do you mean I thought you were our age. Like, no, no, not at all. And so like, that's just the fact. And like, if you think about like, again, guys, single guy friends, I have, if you putting on a dating app, they're not going to take the age that low at all. And so you have to think about like, he's actively seeking out to date someone your age and it's not deterring him at all. Yeah. It's like, it's not about a connection for him. Like it's a, it's not, I don't know. I don't like that

age gap, especially in your twenties. I feel like it's easy to say like maturity plays a factor and it does like my i'm 27 my boyfriend's 32 he's the older like that's the biggest age gap i've ever had with someone that i'm dating i love it i think that it's the best thing for me because women we know we mature faster oh i'm still more mature i'm way more mature than him like i don't care if he's in his 30s but so like maturity does play a factor but that age gap you have to understand you are completely different places in your life you've probably just graduated college yeah or and you're gonna have yeah you're gonna have like three mental break you haven't even hit 25 yeah you haven't died you haven't had a quarter century life you haven't dyed your hair platinum blonde

yet that was me last year i've done it oh my god yeah yeah me this literally last year at this time i was like i'm platinum blonde now everything's fine yeah i used to just cry on my couch with a bottle of wine to myself naked under a large mink blanket i cut bang i had bangs when my hair straight oh my god i didn't know when my hair was straight i've never seen these photos i've never seen them these are the trials and tribulations you have to go through before you can date a man in his 30s you are not close no he probably had like chlamydia at 22 and like was like sleeping on like friends couches and bar hopping and doing all that yeah it's just like ew like his friends his friends are probably like married with kids yeah like this is just not an attractive like

i don't know i and i and i understand age gaps and like how they do happen but i think it's again i think it happens when you're at a different place in life because it's not even just you it's where you are and then where all of your friends are like your world is at a completely completely different place if you're 35 and he's 48 cool yeah like cool you probably have lots all of your friends are your friends are married his friends are married you're in the same friends are divorced and married yeah exactly he's got two mortgages like he's good you can hang out with him he's at a mortgage and you have student loans the 35 year old or 34 year old whatever that's like trying to stay at your place next to your 19 year old brother does he

have a home like where does he live it's gross and weird and again if you can't lie and your brother won't believe like oh yeah then then he's too old for you yeah yeah and that's sorry but like my mom always says if you want to put your big girl panties on and try to like be grown and be a boss then you need to just own the fuck up to it yep you just face those consequences when If your mom comes to you and is like, why are you dating this older man with no house, no Ben's and no job? You're going to have to explain that. Because I wanted to, mom. Yeah.

Because he's nice to me. But something tells me that your parents are helping you with the rent where you and your brother. So you don't want to miss out on that. So just I think that just in general, like for young women, like just be careful at what you're willing to risk for a guy. Oh, yeah. because you need that cushion of your parents helping you with shit for as long as you can ride that out okay and guys aren't it's not the good guys it's not gonna be put in jeopardy like also your parents like when they're like skeptical they're not skeptical of necessarily everyone yes

it's like oh you mean my my parents didn't like the drug dealer with five duis like what do you mean he's so nice to me and it's like and then you start dating a doctor and they're like i love him and you're like oh that's all it took yeah oh i guess it's a little different delinquent and doctor yeah because you know one writes prescriptions yes it's a little different yeah slight change of you just like they're they're con if you like you said if you want to be an adult you have to kind of like face those consequences you can't be like oh i want to date some older like oh please don't tell mom i don't want to get in trouble it's like okay well no then don't do it if you don't want to get in trouble for it if you don't want someone to know

like i always think if you don't want someone to know something then don't do the thing yeah like i will stand up for like i can be a fucking creep and a stalker and if someone calls me out i always go hey i'm not proud but yeah i definitely do that oh i definitely own up to everything i don't think that there's not many things that i've ever said that i regret yeah or done that i regret i do exactly what i want to do so like i said if if if maturity is going to be because i can easily see the person who called in like hearing this back and being like but i'm very mature okay well then go sit down next to your mom and tell her that you fucking this old man yeah and then you're like and it's cool because i have my own money and it's fine and i don't need

your money and i'm so mature i've already paid off my student loans and i'm good and i'm fine yeah and this is great then they have no reason to really worry like your parents ultimately helicopter mom or no helicopter mom like your parents want what's best for you they want for you to be happy they want for you to be loved and they don't want you to be taken advantage of so it's time for don't blame them this is when a caller or listener from a previous episode will call them with their own advice so if they had something similar that's happened to them they'll be like here's my two cents so this is from the episode with kaylee melissa hi um i am calling in response of my own advice to the girl in the last um episode who is starting law school and she's

really worried about being an introvert and networking and all that um i think one thing that she might be missing because it sounds like she just started law school um is that they kind to do all these networking events, all this stuff up front, and then all of a sudden you are deep into law school, meaning you are super busy and you all have so much work to do. There's no time to go to these events. There's no time to really go out and make friends. You spend a lot of time in the library and also just alone working.

It's very much the first year that feels like that, and everyone in your class will kind a bond over the fact that you're all genuinely miserable with the amount of work you have to do. It makes me feel really scary and sad, but it is a great way to bond with people. And you'll find people that are really a lot like you because you have to spend all of this time together working really, really hard. So I would say my advice to her is find a sanctuary in your own room. Make it look really nice, really pretty, somewhere you can really escape to when you need it.

And then also just hang in there. The networking stuff dies down after the first few months, and it'll kick back up at the end of your time there. But really just enjoy making friends over bonding over this horrible thing that is law school sometimes. It's really worth it in the end, so stick in there. But don't worry about all the networking right now because you'll find the language. And law school networking is a little bit different. You're not just, you know, talking about your shared interest in a certain field. It tends to be a lot of shop talk.

And the more you go to law school and the more you learn, the easier it comes just because you all end up kind of talking about things that you've learned during your time and also talking about how much you hate it. So, yeah, I hope it's helped not to sound too down on law school. But I really think that, you know, it is worth it. And it's a good experience. It's just not something that, you know, you need to worry about right away. Okay. Bye. wow law school sounds terrible yeah but you know isn't everything yeah everything is terrible

if it's something you love then it's terrible love you know yeah exactly i think the best way to bond with people is over things that you love and things that you hate that's how you become quickly you're like fuck that bitch we hate the same thing it's so nice it's an easy way for me to be like okay cool we're the same that's how my boyfriend and i connected because we made fun of same people at the same party yeah and like i said it first and he was like like how i made the love island comment it was literally like oh oh my god we fell in love just like you and your boyfriend great yes i love that my boyfriend did that at a wedding someone was giving like a really heartfelt quote-unquote heartfelt speech and the whole time i was like does it sound like like he

wants to fuck his sister and i was like and i literally look and everyone's crying and i'm like oh my god i'm so alone i look at my boyfriend he goes do they want to like fuck i'm like oh my god i'm so glad we're together like it was like we're both just shitting on the same people yes i was like this is romance and true love but i mean i think it's great i mean i'm also i not that i'm not paying attention to what you're saying but i'm also equally impressed that there's two people in law school who listen to our podcast well she's done yeah yeah that's crazy it's my lawyer or the one that like commented on the oh yeah maybe it was but i think it's yeah it's it sounds like a very stressful place um i will say legally blonde made it seem so fun yeah of course it did

and so pink networking just in general yeah like i used to have the worst networking anxiety because networking sucks it's horrible yeah going up to somebody and like giving an elevator pitch like who wants to do that i just want to meet people while i'm drinking at brunch yeah like let's talk about the aperol spritz you're having let's talk about that it's nice and bubbly i don't want to talk about like yeah so what do you do everybody's there for the same thing and it's just like it doesn't really help yeah all of you you're trying to get the same thing out of it no one's getting anything out of it and then at the end it's like so do you have a card and i'm like oh should i left them at all promo your shit where can people find you oh my god this is awkward no i i can tell

people too i mean i can't recite it at all instagram at the real cammy k-a-m-i-e i like how you spell it people think it's cammy like jamie what it's not is that a name i've been called kamai but that those are not named yeah exactly that's what i keep saying it's short for cameron yeah cammy the real cammy and then of course on catfish all your lips so fucking good so good the first one you were on i was like megan we have to get her yeah rachel and vance did you watch the chris brown one no oh oh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes oh god oh god and chris man yeah wait wait stories wait did someone

pretend to be Chris Brown yes and she was into it yes what the fuck but it wasn't just her yes I just can't I'm just confused I'm like did did I live in an alternate dimension where we all knew what happened and like were there all these other people who

like lived in pods and they came out there into it yes of course I'm talking to him like he's the like I I would keep that a secret That would be my secret of being the only one to know. I mean, I definitely have friends who have hooked up with Chris Brown. I do, too.

I mean, yeah. It's, like, it's all. I was like, I mean, I could call them, and they could call him, and we could see, like, we could just end this episode right now. That's. But at the end of the day, these people are actually talking to someone who cares about them. Yeah.

Hopefully, on the other end. Yeah. So, like, you want to take that seriously, even if you don't believe that it's Chris Brown or DMX or Tupac. Or my favorite is one of the early season one was Katie. Yeah, Katie. was so good. He thought he was really talking

to her. Yeah. Okay. If you guys want to be on an upcoming episode, you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners, you can record an audio message and send it to us at meganpodcasts at gmail.com. You can check us out on, our socials will be listed down below and don't blame, don't blam

meme pod on Instagram, don'tblameme.show all the other things. And that's it. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. Bye. don't blame me as a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso part of the her pod network