Don't Blame Me! - REPLAY - Guest: Keith Habersberger - Cultural Differences and Relationships

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Original Air Date: June 3, 2019 Keith Habersberger of the Try Guys is here this week to share his advice! We’re answering your questions on what to do if your friends judge you for working things out with your boyfriend, handling your ex-roommate’s fiance secretly messaging you, how to find yourself after your boyfriend moves away, and what to do if your boyfriend is checked out. In Don’t Blame Them a listener shares her advice on moving long distance with your boyfriend. Check out our NEW Patreon Community - https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks @keithbabs www.instagram.com/keithhabs/ @meghanandmelisa www.instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME'. This episode is also brought to you by “Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered,” Cocotopia, Betterhelp, and Clean it Zero Cleanser Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf   Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]  International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree you've got questions we've got ancestors search free until august 31st visit ancestry.ca for details terms apply oh my fucking tits guys oh my tits welcome to season four season season four that's that's a big one this is like if we were a network show if we got picked up for a four season that means we're really good like we're modern family we're staying around for like we're winning emmys y'all you can't win an emmy for a podcast maybe one day we'll win one i don't know if we will um well guys along with what you're about to listen to which is our first episode of season four we have some really exciting news we just launched our patreon and i am so incredibly excited for this we've been

talking about doing something like this for so long uh we really wanted to have a community for you guys to talk to each other to get advice from each other to have us come in and talk to you guys but really to foster a community because i see we see the same people commenting on videos and sending us dms and all of that and we really want to like connect you guys we're like your fairy friendship godmothers and we're being like oh guys hang out talk amongst yourselves get advice on like what you want to wear tonight and all of that but we also have so much stuff offered on our patreon we've got exclusive clips that are already up there right now so if you guys sign up for our patreon now you are already going to be getting content there's

already content for you to consume with your eyes and your ears and it's at patreon.com slash don't blame me so i think you guys are really gonna love it we've got so much exciting stuff that we're going to be doing with patreon coming out soon so the quicker you sign up the quicker you're like in the cool kids club and then as more things happen and more things roll out you'll be the first to know so it's exciting we're pretty stoked about it here and we have a video up on our patreon that explains all of the different tiers and what you get in all of them it's very long i mean it's not that long it's like 20 minutes but like we really go in depth with all of it and there's more stuff so check it out and um yeah enjoy the episode

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today did you know that you were very requested by the way no you have been very requested you guys are like elite in youtube world as soon as we had net on everybody's like you gotta finish you gotta get them all four collect them all we have key you're number three guys here i'm the third of four you're saying the most elusive pokemon for last yeah oh which pokemon would he be uh normally eugene says he's like an eevee evolution eeveelution isn't he a scorpio is he a scorpio you guys did a whole zodiac i don't know i don't care i'm gemini oh okay and i married a gemini apparently that's a big deal we should get along yeah i'm a leo seems like it i'm trying

to remember i don't think eugene likes leo's i think he's a scorpio which would make sense because he's either a scorpio or a capricorn oh okay that makes because those are the words i've heard the most frequently so they must belong to him his birthday is january 18th oh he's a capricorn okay oh just like moths oh my god my boyfriend's a capricorn it is so fun i'm kidding no it is fun it's great it's fun well um guys if you're new here this is an advice podcast and uh we're basically going to listen to your voicemails and then give you some advice and if you want to be on an upcoming episode our phone number is 310-694-0976 we should we should have like a singer why isn't there a song i think every phone number with a

song is a better phone number yeah because i remember them yeah oh and uh if you're an international caller you can't or listener because you can't call because you're international i know how this works um you can record an audio message and then email it to us at meganpodcast at gmail dot cam so we're not are you from the midwest no but i always say like that cam like that's a very midwest say to say dot com yeah i'm obsessed with the midwest um that's a good favorite place really it everybody is so nice that's true the midwest is incredibly like it's and i grew up in california so like opposite i don't think california is mean it's just not overtly nice and I grew up in the south

where people wave in their cars at each other I'm from rural Tennessee a little town called Carthage, Tennessee 2000 person mountain town the birthplace of Vice President Al Gore and Keith Habersberger I'm from Arkansas

the birthplace of the president that Al Gore was a companion to yes, Bill Clinton Mr. Bill Clinton, saxophonist we need more musician presidents do al gore used to be my celebrity crush when i was a kid oh yeah really that different guy he does love the i like i like how great al gore has been about the environment all the time at this

point he should be like bill nye because i knew bill nye video where he's like just screaming obscenities like al gore should be doing that too i've been telling you like i just don't know why like i like the idea that we needed like bill nye and um what's the other neil degrasse tyson i'm like why couldn't have been al gore why couldn't like because they're like actual scientists he's just a stud with good morals yeah he has such a slow i saw this i don't know why i accidentally stumbled upon this saturday night live video of al gore where it was like he was in an alternate dimension where he won president and everything he said in the video was still relevant today oh wow oh god yeah oh no

sounds about right sounds about right what a good time so i'm gonna keep traveling to other countries and just pretending that this isn't happening here um well how do you feel like you are giving advice oh i think i'm great at it perfect i think i can answer all questions i know i i understand all backgrounds and all situations and uh no i don't know i think uh i don't know let's roll the dice here i'm excited i don't give a lot of advice i did similar to what i did for ned where i ruled out lots of like underage girls asking sex questions because i thought you might not be that into answering those as much yeah well i probably don't know how to advise them either no totally you're like you just said you had all the answers

you're like so when i was a 16 year old girl this is what i would do well if i were a 16 year well actually my best friend growing up my closest neighbor was a girl so like uh i i feel like i learned a lot about girls growing up because she was essentially my sister who wasn't my sister they hung out with her like every day that's fun i called her house the downstairs to my house because she was down the hill so i'd just be like i'm going downstairs but that meant i was going to casey's house oh i like that that's so cute it's very cute should we get started hi megan i'm 24 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for about four years now um everything has been super amazing with us we live together we have a cat together he's a great guy and I love him so

much a few months ago we went through a really tough time where I found out he was on tinder I saw the messages on his phone he would send like one-liners to girls and then they would respond and then he wouldn't say anything it never went any further for to him to like meet up with them or anything like that. Um, when I confronted him about it, he told me he was doing it to see if he could still get a girl's attention, which I don't truly understand because he's getting my attention, but that's either here or there. Um, when we were going through this, I was obviously super upset, didn't really know what to do. So I went to my friends about it and asked them for advice, um, which I now regret because I chose, they told me from the very

beginning they were like you need to leave him you need to move out you need to find a new job move back home if you need to like all this stuff like you deserve better all this kind of stuff and I love and appreciate that they were just looking out for me and trying to tell me what they think I needed to hear we did get back to a semi-normal place and my boyfriend tried super and he still does try super super hard to regain that trust and you know to validate our relationship and me and it's been amazing um except now my friends are all like mad at me because i didn't take their advice um i haven't asked them straight up if they're mad at me but they don't really text me anymore they don't reach out to me and see like how i'm doing um when i reach out to them

to see how they're doing they you know give me very short answers um they do not ask about my boyfriend and if I happen to say like me and my boyfriend are doing great they just like ignore it and don't say anything um and it's really sad because these are friends that I've had since I was in high school and now they're they're just not being great friends and I don't know how to fix it and I don't know what to do because ultimately if I stay with my boyfriend I want him to be able to like hang out with my friends and stuff but they all hate him can't really do that so i would love any advice um i've been a big fan of the podcast um i've been following on youtube for years and years um i know you always joke that if you give harsh advice you're

going to be losing a viewer you will not lose a viewer with me but i really just don't know what to do so any advice would be great thank you oh well that's hard let's skip to the next one i thought you could you had all the answers so much more complicated than i was expecting like that was a very that was like layers dense yeah uh because my first thing is like oh well what a dick uh sounds like a dick sounds like you should lose him but like oh you seem committed and i guess four years and people make mistakes it sounds like he was doing something very shitty but that's complicated but then you've got your friends who are like and they're not totally wrong because he is a dick but hmm hmm female relationships are more complicated they are

they're they're a little more like it's a lot more subtext as i'm reading oh there's so much and i think like the thing is is i've definitely been in this situation before like 100 where like i've had like my friends hate who i'm dating and then i try like and then if you decide you like want to like you're sticking through something or whatever as soon as you complain to your friends especially if it's not a mutual friend i think it's the same thing like complaining to your parents like they don't forget and they also are invested in one half of the relationship and if they see that that person has like done something to like make you really unhappy then that's kind of what they see and also like if your friends if you're not hanging out with them all the time

they can't see the fact that like oh you're not doing bad you're doing so much better and like your guy's relationship has gotten so much better and like he's really working at it and you guys are improving as a couple they if they're not around they can't see that so they just think like oh wow she's playing victim like she's still here and that kind of like and all of that in general i think like it's a sign of immaturity when people uh their own opinions on somebody will like infiltrate how they like i don't know how they treat their friends and how they treat you like i think that's just super immature because at the end of the day like i have friends who's like partners i don't like love or i mean thankfully one of them just broke up so i'm like

sick um oh yeah we're throwing a party granted new guy she's dating i'm a little i'm a little wary about um also because it was one day she was single yeah it was yeah it was it's literally maybe one of those people who just you know this guy was waiting in that he was like waiting in the curtains until like his moment to shine and he was like i'm ready and she was like oh okay um yeah i know i mean i'm living vicariously through her she's young it'll be a reality show um but i mean there's but at the end of the day it's like it's about if your friend is happy And I think like the only time that it's OK to like continue to have those feelings and to cut somebody not to cut somebody out, but to like make it like you need to do this and really like stand strong with that is if that person is like incredibly unhappy and they're in a relationship that is like really, really, really terrible and making them feel terrible. because as a friend like you want your friends to be happy um you can't really understand the

situation so i mean i think like as much as i don't want to be like these people aren't your friends i think like you should have like a real conversation with them in person hopefully and like sit down and talk to them about it and um really like stress to them that like it's really hard because like you've made this choice to continue on this relationship and work on it which is the harder choice it's so much harder to work through that stuff than to just break up and be done and that's like incredibly mature thing to do and what you need there is like you need to have your friends you can talk to and you still want to be able to feel like you that they're going to be happy for you and you're not constantly having to like defend him especially because

they're not the ones dating him um i would also say therapy is fantastic if you're not in therapy especially if you feel like you can't talk to like your friends about something um for any reason i think talking to like someone who's totally unbiased is great but i think you have to have a conversation with your friends and then if ultimately they don't your happiness is not their priority then i think it's about finding and surrounding yourself with people who really do care about your happiness and like regardless of if like the person you've been with has like made mistakes and all of that because i think it's how you how you grow afterwards that's more important it's complicated yeah because it like the friends it does suck that they're not being

friendly but also like they are only upset because they think this person is bad for you they think and they have proof that he did something very untrustworthy i guess for me my advice would be like do you think you're going to marry this person do you do you think you want to spend a like the rest of your life because it should you shouldn't work through troubles yeah unless you think you're willing to you're going to get to a place where there won't be troubles anymore and also you'll be together forever because it's especially when she 25 24 24 is a fun time of life it sucks to be spending a fun time of your life working through problems and also not having friends close to you like you should be in your 20s like having a blast yeah because your body

starts dying soon so it's true your body's gonna start dying in a year at 25 your brain's done developing and it starts to go the other way you can be preventative about it and keep your body healthy but it is true your body stops growing and starts ungrowing at about 25 to 28 earlier for guys we stopped we're done at like 23 or 24 so i've been dying all year it's not just it's been like metaphorical i mean it's like you're not like a me it doesn't it's not like a ramp down obviously it's a slow curve i'm almost 26 so it does make sense everything's been declining but maybe it's true i'm about to be i'm about to be 32 and i definitely am like wow sometimes my knees just hurt oh my god i literally told the man today that i was like i just feel

off everything feels weird like i just feel everything about me feels weird but you should have like a healthy life i think involves a healthy close relationship a lot of healthy like other relationships and it sounds like you're in a place where you have conflicted relationships yeah all around so you know you just have to look and see who do you want where where where's all this going yeah i think the last thing i'd say is i've learned over my life period and dating is that now when i not even now but just in general when i talk about like because we all want to vent about our relationships to our friends because like you're serving people who like have typically tend to have similar mindsets as you and understand the situation

understand you and everybody in it uh talk to your friends who are in long-term relationships when you talk to your friends who are single like literally like in college and high school anytime that i would like vent to like my single friends they were like oh fuck that i would never stand for that i'm like first of all let's talk about this now flash forward all of these years you went on like the dates with terrible guys over and over again and like it's just a different mindset to be in and i've found that like now being in a long-term relationship when i taught like if i want to talk to my friends about like oh i'm really frustrated like i don't like monster something fucking stupid or whatever and i want to talk to them about it like i'm usually going

to my friends who are in long-term relationships because they're like oh my god i totally get that but if you go to a friend who's like like i love i love my best friend sydney oh my god she will not talk shit about her she won't talk about it about any guys she's dated for years until after they've like years later so they've broken up i'm like okay finally but she's such a hard person to like talk about that kind of stuff too without me feeling like oh my god your relationship's perfect and like this is when you talk to somebody who's like more comfortable also like sharing and venting and that kind of thing because i think it's a healthy thing because also um things that i've i've learned in therapy too sometimes when your friends are saying negative things the reason

why it hurts so bad is because that is like the darkest part of your brain they're like oh he's a terrible guy that there's a part of you that feels like that and that you don't want them necessarily to be right and they're vocalizing that part of you and we're while it's like validating and you're like yeah like yeah he like he's a total fucking dick you're like okay but i mean like i'm gonna like we're gonna stay and like work this out and so i think that can be that can be hard he was a total dick i did a whole this whole like i just wanted to see if i could still get it flirt with people did that yeah but i thought you asked first that at least is better I just

also like what are you proving that you can message somebody on an app and see if you still have it that's not proving if you have anything that's like the slinkiest easiest way to get a response I would assume like if you really want to know if you still got it walk up to some stranger and strike up a nice conversation

well see maybe he's socially awkward like me I just wanted to put my pictures on an app and be like let me swipe right on everybody and see what responses I get that is fun but I did it with permission see here's the thing tinder is super fun i never got to play with tinder because i was uh i was paired off before tinder but playing with other people's tinder uh so much fun to help your friends play tinder oh it's a game i used to do dating apps for her i would do it for my other

friend the one that i was on is the one that you're not supposed to talk about like the fight club one next question maybe something easier like how do i what should i eat at mcdonald's Oh, no. Oh, my God. This is... Tumbling. Hi, Megan. I've just been listening to your podcast,

and I just need to call in for a little boyfriend and his family advice. So I'm 21. My boyfriend's 27, so there is an age difference. I thought you said seven. It also hurts. Anyways, we've been dating for about two and a half years now, almost three years. And total context, I'm American, born and raised here,

and he's Indian, he was born and raised in New Delhi, moved here for college, so he sort of comes into two different cultures, and in his culture, dating is missing. Like, this past summer, I went to his brother's wedding with him because his mom knows about me and wanted to meet me, so I went to his brother's wedding, which is a big step for him, obviously. It was in India, and I just had to be, like, his friend, which was fun to understand, like, it's a different culture. I was very understand that the issue is that besides his mom and um his brother the family either was completely cold to me or hated me i think that's pretty obvious that we were in a relationship i don't think he pulled anyone with the friend thing um and some of the family like outright

refused to talk to me like he wouldn't talk to me or it was very obvious that they were speaking about me right in front of me because they knew i didn't know him i didn't know the And it really made me feel like shit, like it really sucked. Um, especially some of the family members acted like they liked me and then I added them up, they added me on Facebook and when I added them back, um, they went and told all the other relatives about my life, about like how the parents were divorced, about how like, um, blah, blah, blah, I'm just like not right and they went and told his mom that Like, oh, he shouldn't marry this girl, this white girl, like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Especially since, like, they're still arranged marriages in India. So, like, his brother had an arranged marriage. So, I think that's what his family wants. So, I really, like, don't know what to do. It really sucks that his family doesn't like me. I don't really know how to handle this well. I, like, cried about it. He keeps telling me, like, their opinions don't matter.

Like, I love you. Like, it doesn't matter what they think. i'm just not basically not like his mom thinks just like that's fine but for me i just keep getting nervous that like stuff that that you know if we do eventually get married my family is just not gonna approve and it's just gonna continue talking about me and my family and i'm not about that so if you have any advice on how to deal with this i like don't know what to do how to, like, handle this materially and well, so

any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. I don't know why you know. Like, did your boyfriend tell you? Like, that's a little, you know? That she knows what? That all, like, that they're saying all this stuff behind her back. Maybe she figured

it out from Facebook. Yeah. But then how did they write on her, like, the wall being like, by the way? Maybe she just, like, clicked through their profile and saw that they were that openly just talking about her. I mean, maybe. i don't know i think she should watch crazy rich asians and get inspired and figure out a really good monologue to tell off while you play his mother while you play beat her at her own game literally and figuratively yes no i i uh i this is complicated i think though you know it's you've

been together for like two years uh ride it out for a couple more years see if you still love them ultimately families just they deal with it yeah i think they deal with it they get over it they're every family is just especially conservative families are just more of like a i don't trust new relationships they're not going to work out so they just don't want them to yeah and they they're very stuck in their ways but if you're with someone for like four or five years and you it's clear you love each other they they get over it yeah they really do and it's probably harder to see that uh you're 21 you're a little younger and like but you'll see as you grow older that you can just be like fuck what they think i don't care and they'll be like dang it they don't

care what i think well okay i guess i don't think that way anymore it's a very liberating feeling once you stop trying to impress people who aren't ever going to like you for nothing that you can control and i think like i like i have definitely said this before like i've definitely had issues like people i've dated like and their family and like not getting along um and when you realize that it's not specifically you obviously the cultural difference is that's a big reason why um but once you realize that it's not like you can't control that when it's something you can't control it's just like well you know what it's out of my hands no matter what i do like this is still what it's going to be it you're not there's like that idea of like oh if you date this person

you date their family but your boyfriend is aware of the situation he knows he's like you know what like i like i choose you it doesn't matter to me i think yeah like you said like i think you just need to ride it out i wouldn't stress about it now i think like i definitely you definitely see like movies where people like oh my god like the in-laws like either they're evil or it's like oh my god like my sister-in-law like we're best friends like this is amazing and it's not always like that like it's like sometimes it's just the people that you see over holidays it's fucking awkward it sucks that's why you get really drunk on wine and then you like move on and you don't really like deal like you deal with it later like the idea that like you wanting to feel included

and feel like a part of the family um i think like is totally understandable and then them talking shit also again something you can't control and it just makes them look fucking stupid yeah like it won't matter yeah i've definitely had people who've like are like like guys that i've dated parents like bring up like oh well you know like her parents aren't together and i'm just like you realize how much like a fucking asshole you sound like that you're going to like look down like oh she's the child of divorced parents and i'm like do you like you're what the fuck like you're a full-grown adult like there are some certain things like that where it just makes them look dumb and like the goal is to hurt you and invalidate

your relationship but the only person or the only two people that are in your relationship are you and your boyfriend so I think like stressing and worrying about it isn't going to get you anywhere um and especially if like the fit like there are family members that you do get along with and that do really like you then like just stick to them and like hang out with them and like enjoy everything because like they might come around they might not but at the end of the day like their approval isn't going like you think that that's going to like make everything feel so great and so awesome and so much better but at the end of the day like it really like it doesn't make a difference as long as you and your partner are on the same page you probably won't see in

that often anyway yeah it's the extended family and they're in a different country yeah let them talk shit old people love to talk shit let them talk shit like who cares be above it it sucks and it's hard and i've definitely been there but like i can't explain how liberating liberating it is when you're like i'm not gonna try anymore and then you're like fuck this i don't even care like it's nice start giving them things to hate about you oh you know yeah as soon as you said that mature and i go well i can tell you how to be petty as fuck i can tell you exactly how to do that start like i don't know wearing crazy outfits and like just making out with them on live facebook live tagging them in the video my favorite is if you know specifically shit that they've talked

about you using that same language and those same phrases in conversation with them to be like i know yeah i know what you said them that's that's what yeah really just just like don't worry about it as long as he's like actually committed to you then it won't be an issue yeah yeah don't worry about it and also watch monster in law jane fonda that could be it could with jlo too yeah well should we go on to the next hey megan so i'm 25 and i'm in a bit of a dilemma um when i was in college i had a roommate uh she was awesome we lived together for about a year and it was like a perfect kind of roommate, like we weren't best friends, but we weren't enemies. So it just, it flowed really well.

No problems. Um, when she was living with me, she actually was, um, like obsessed with this guy and, uh, he was dating other people and he was always kind of like coming back to her and messaging her, like while he was dating other people. So it was kind of shady, but like she was head over heels for this guy. And she was determined that she was going to one day be with him. We're all just like, okay, whatever. Good luck.

but um she moved out after about a year of living together and um i honestly haven't talked to her in like five or six years but you know we talk every once in a while like hey how you doing like cute picture on instagram you know and i noticed that she's actually engaged to this guy that she was like in love with in college um like he finally came around and decided to date her instead of like cheating on his other girlfriends with her so it was like you know i think i messaged her and i was like i'm so happy for you like that you guys are finally together that's crazy. And, uh, so yeah, I, like I said, I don't really talk to her. Um, but I got a DM about a couple of days ago from a weird account and it just

said, Hey, I think you're really gorgeous. I'm really scared to tell you who I am. So I made this private account just to like tell you, cause I really wanted you to know. And I was like, okay, thanks. Um, I kind of left it at that and then he kept writing back and it was like, you know, really nervous to tell you who I am. I don't want you to tell your fiance and I was like, Oh yeah,

I'm engaged, but, um, and so I was just like, it's okay. Like, you don't have to tell me, I don't really care as mean as that sounds, but it just, it was a compliment. Like, I don't even know who it's from. And then when I stopped responding, he just wrote back and was like, okay, I'll tell you who I am and it is my old roommate's fiance. Now I was kind of like, oh, yikes. Like this is weird, but I was just, you know, thank you.

Like, it's really sweet, blah, blah, blah. But he keeps messaging me and asking me if I want to know what's reminded him of me to make him make this account. And I just keep being like, it doesn't matter. Like, thanks, but no thanks. He just keeps saying, you know, I really want to tell you, but I really don't want it to get back to me. I don't want you to tell anybody. And I was just like, I can't promise you that. Like, we're both engaged technically.

And he just keeps sending me like grumpy messages, like with emojis. So I'm just torn because, like I said, I haven't talked to my roommate in, you know, maybe like four or five years. It's like, do I tell her that her fiance is being shady? They're getting married in literally two weeks. So it's like, do I just kind of stay out of it or like watch it burn from far away? But yeah, so I kind of just like have no idea what to do. So I'm hoping you can give me some advice if I should do something or do nothing. So, yeah, thank you.

Wow, this one's These are juicy They're both just looking at me like, oh, she's gonna say And then it just made me spit Are they These are, are all the questions this salacious Our lives are really fucking hard Juicy

Dude, they're very juicy We have to tell you about the time a girl was in love with this guy Who was in jail for accidentally murdering someone Oh my god And he was married and she just wanted our approval Did he use emojis? Maybe I love the emoji part.

That just made this dude even just, like, lamer. Yeah. It's just like, now this guy doesn't seem like the guy that this other girl should have been pining over for so long. If he's like, oh, I think you're really hot. I made a different account. It's so lame. It's super lame. It's so loser-y.

Yeah. Well, she is, she's this girl who has the question, whoever you are, you're dope. Yeah. You sound cool. You do. You sound like you got a good head on your shoulders. you are actually weighing like well i would like to tell this person i'm not actually close this person they're getting married in two weeks weddings are such a nightmare

don't want to ruin the wedding i'm sure they've already invested a lot of money in this but also bad marriage is even worse but maybe this dude's loaded and she can you know run away with half of his money i don't know i don't know what the situation is here there but this dude seems like a total sleazebag he does it seems like he's always been like this that means he always will be like this so i've just convinced myself she should tell her friend i just screenshot it and send all the messages yeah here's what i'd say from the beginning not that this is going to happen again to you but maybe it will in general you don't respond to this shit like just in general like not even like oh thank you like like just don't like from any like people you know or people

you don't know anonymous accounts like saying that they think you're pretty and all of that like no and also like hard i also can't when a guy is like i gotta tell you you're pretty and it's like because nobody it's as if like they've made this like they've had this revelation and nobody's ever thought that before and like i had to tell you because you can't go through life not knowing it's like fuck you i know like i made this account of of brick sushi also what do you think the profile picture was like were there pictures or is it just like i think sarah's pretty 272 like yeah it's definitely that like in the bio like she's so pretty i have a crush on her i don't like you're so pretty it's just weird i think like in general i think and she knew she he was

weird too for yeah i think the first thing you should do is i think you should tell your fiance and be like hey fyi this is what happened um i totally didn't think that like i just felt like weird and like awkward about it but like it hasn't stopped and i just like want to let you know because like we're obviously together and like i don't want i and i'm telling you now because i When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get

when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at WestJet.com slash 30 years. I want you to hear it from me, but I think you also should tell this girl. um just because i am a big believer in everybody should have all of the information so then they can make that decision and that choice but when you don't tell somebody something that you know you're like regardless like you're basically you're not letting them make that choice because they might not make the choice she might not make the choice to stay with him if she knew those or

maybe she's like totally cool yeah but then it's fine and then why would he make the other account because he just wants it to be also like if you want to not come off as creepy but give someone a compliment don't make a fake profile just do it just be like hey if you if you gotta compliment them just be like uh just write on a picture cool picture or something like that that'll get the point across but you don't really want to just compliment them yeah he's trying to trying to get feelers out. He was being skeevy before like with her and initially he was cheating with

he was cheating. She was the other woman. Yeah she was always the other woman. Fantastic time. Which is why I'm like well maybe she's just like I know this about him. Yeah which is also okay and like everybody's relationship and like what they do and what the parameters of what's okay is totally different.

But he is like I don't want anybody to find out. Yeah which is him wanting someone to find out. Yeah I know right. It's a cry for help in a way he's like i don't know what i'm doing maybe he doesn't want to get married maybe he's maybe that's a thing shitty guys do they try to they try to be shitty so you break up with them because they aren't man enough to just actually end a relationship yeah oh yeah yeah i've definitely done that play and i was like i guess i want to break up because you kind of suck you've been

really off for the last few months and i i guess i have to break up with you you've been just terrible it's like really out of left field no okay literally no but yeah please yeah please don't it's funny all the guys who have known who have done something like that also like when they get broken up with it they are like oh how could she pick up with me like that was your that was your goal dude that's what you wanted you did it yeah oh they want it all uh but yeah i think you gotta tell this girl um and i would just i would take this i would do screenshots and i would just say it as gently as possible i would first before you have any screenshots i would um i actually know you can do a screenshot in general but i would just like i would start it with like hey

this is really like uncomfortable and awkward and i just like and not putting any judgment on it of being like he's a fucking scumbag break up with him because you don't know if this is like what their relationship is like it's just like i don't know if you know about this um i know that you're getting married in two weeks and like i just know that if i was in this position i would want someone to tell me which is why i'm telling you i'm not trying to like ruin anything i don't know if there's like whatever you guys have going on but like i just really like felt like i needed to tell you because i would have wanted maybe she's on a crazy game show and it's actually her friend pretending to be the guy and trying to find out if she will do the morally right thing and when

she does she'll get ten thousand dollars only ten thousand look she's only won an episode yeah well i don't know this i don't know how much production budget they have for this show uh you know it seems like they're just using emojis here because they yeah no true ten thousand that's pretty good that's like the standard uh cooking show you know chopped uh cake challenge yeah like ten thousand dollars that's like the minimum yeah you know award for winning at something except for great bitters bake off where you went nothing but pride in a trophy it's the best show It is the best fucking show. And I think the lack of prize is why everybody's so nice.

Yeah. Because the prize is a big piece of glass. I love it, though. It's a big glass serving tray. Yeah. Which I'm sure they never use. They just hang on a wall. I love that show.

I love that show. So fucking good. It's my favorite show. It's the best show. Okay, we should move on to another thing. Okay. Does anyone have a question about Great British Bake Off? Who do you think is going to be in the next season?

Oh, my God. Martha follows me from, like, season three. She follows me on Instagram. I know. It's pretty cool. She just got married. and all the contestants brought their own cake like that she's all friends isn't that cute i love that time i know i'm baking my friend's wedding cake and i'm very i'm trying to make

friends with executive chefs okay let's move on just for life okay guys uh break time okay we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back okay guys we're back from our break obviously hello what's up uh and we're going to hop into the nest the nest of the calls that was rest and next as one word it is sort of a nest of calls they're all little sleeping birds waiting for their their mama birds to feed them regurgitate knowledge so gross i used to as a kid i used to scrap like stick take the food out of my parents mouths and eat it after they chewed it as a baby how old were you a baby you remember like baby i didn't know well people do that actually parents do that i know but

i just it helps myself i was like that looks tasty that mashed up food i will eat it now yeah yeah i'm hefty like most babies saves you the work right there true hi megan um i am 23 i'm calling because i'm currently in a huge transition in my life i have a full-time job that i love as receptionist and my boyfriend just got a full-time job that is almost two hours from me and this kind of came very sudden as well as the fact that he got an apartment close to his new job and as someone who doesn't really have that many friends and by many I mean none like I have friends through him and that's about it and they're all up in the same area that he's currently moving to and I guess I'm just curious as to if you have any advice of what I could be doing with all this

free time I'm gonna have now by myself with my dog and my cat um I mean I'm planning on visiting him on the weekend but through the week I'm I'm really nervous about um you know just being on my own and having those nights where all i want to do is binge watch the officer community with him and he's not going to be there so um if you could give me some advice it'd be great oh she's not stressed out yeah she does i'm glad you've pets that was my first thing i was gonna say i was like get a dog yeah that will help uh so i was long distance and it was sort of it wasn't a sudden thing but i moved to la for a year before my wife was able to move to la she wasn't my wife yet um so and she was like well i'm not ready to move to la but i'm like well i am ready to move

to la and i feel like i'm not getting any further in chicago i feel like i hit a wall and i just needed creatively to go try something new i very much uh loved becky a lot and i was like well this this is the only thing that sucks is that i won't be with you um and it was definitely hard but it was a little different we definitely both have our own friend circles this is a little different than there but in general long distance long distance will totally work you just have to know when the end will be for the distance that's what i always say if you have an indeterminate amount it's just so stressful because you have nothing to look forward to but we knew that it would be exactly one year long and at the end of that we would move in together in la so that was like

great just have to get through one year that's not so bad yeah and also like it if you can get through a year of long distance where you really only see each other once every like six or seven weeks and then you really have a strong foundation of a relationship and then and then if you can go from that to living together yeah and that works too you're good you're good to go just throw some rings around throw a big party and make all your friends watch you kiss and then you're good yeah upload it to youtube all of it um the friend thing that i think is just uh yeah that's tougher i don't know it sounds like she's a little afraid to make friends and that can be hard but that that's solved easily just by finding things that you really like and

going online and finding those people who like that and finding a community and then meeting them yeah that's about it i genuinely think like as much as this probably sucks for you i think this is probably really good for you because like the the yeah it's saying that your only friends are his friends it's as much as like those people and like you can have mutual friends and they can like all be like your friends and things like that like it's a i don't know if he has a lot of female friends a it's really important for women to be friends with other women that i went through a period of my life where i lived in la that like my only friends were guys and i was like oh fucking shit like this is i was like i need female friends this is so but it's so much

fucking harder to like find a female friend like oh okay like what are we like you're judging my outfit like oh okay we're like all of that it can be really hard and really intimidating and especially if you have had a hard time making friends or you've like gone through an unlucky period where you've like made shitty friends so now you're kind of like scarred from that i've also definitely been there um and your job being a receptionist i'm i don't i'm assuming you probably don't have a ton of like work friends and interaction that sounds like a little more like a solo sort of thing um i think like as much as like it feels uncomfortable and awkward if there's like you know when you have like friend crashes on somebody it's like someone

you like work with you're like i really want to be that person's friend or someone that you like go to a workout class with like someone you see around and you see them and like Oh, I would say a workout class is a great thing to do with your time. Yeah, literally. I have a workout. I had a... Confidence booster actually is good for you. There's people there who are probably also there because they need something else happening

in their life. And it's like a shared interest. When I started first working out and I went to Pilates, there was this really cool mom. And I was like, I really want to be your friend. I really want to be your friend. And we just ended up standing close, picking reformers close to each other. And then after a couple of weeks, she was like, we've actually never officially met. i was like it's happening we're becoming friends here we go and like we went to coffee after class

and like we would do that and i saw her today and like and like i'm like oh how are the kids she's like great like how's the boyfriend and like and it's like even those like small little interactions i think like you just talking to people more in general will build up your confidence to make friends and people you hang out with outside of those activities where you're meeting people um and the more comfortable you get with that um i also know a couple of people who've actually made really good friends on like bumble bff not sponsored um because like it is like especially for i would say like people in their 20s like so much of like dating has been online and like you so much of your life has been online that like i mean i tend to think that we

are a little more emotionally stunted when it comes to talking to people in person because we're not like we've been able to rely really heavily on everything like on like uh everything online and so i think finding things that you like to do whether it's like classes workout classes like an art class or um volunteering or anything like that where you can like go out and meet people that way but then i also think like if you are if you have any like if he has any friends like if his friends of all of your mutual friends if they all if you guys were all friends then did they also move to this new city because what does anyone know anyone in the city left that you could be like hey is anyone could set you up with like oh my friend's sister just moved here like you

guys should like set up on a friend date kind of thing yeah i did that with some friends they were um they were but they both asked me to go to the same event separately they didn't know each other but i couldn't go to the event so i just sent them both emails and connected them in like an awkward way i was like hey you guys are both like cats and you're going to this event be friends go together i think that's like a great way because it's like people who are like vouching for that but then also i think you can look up like like not like i don't want to say like female groups or whatever but like there are like social groups if you like look up online i would actually say uh this is something i've only learned so we have a patreon for try guys and it has like a discord

server which is like a chat server and our like fans who are have this incredibly rich community in that server and it's like it like this not advertising our patreon but really is like if you find a fan base of something that you like some sort of like i'm sure there is a literally a set of message boards of people super passionate about the office and community but if you find especially like digital creators have really good fan bases who are really positive who are also maybe a little bit introverted and they have found each other and like we've seen on ours like people hang out and they've met each other through that and are like in-person friends through like their shared love of like the try guys or whatever thing they like but ours especially i will advertise

ours because it is like the most amazingly positive community i've ever seen i've never seen so many kind things and so many respectful conversations when people disagree they're like i totally understand i think though this and like i get that and they're like very and i've never seen so i obviously can't join i'm not good with other people's opinions it is like but that's a good segue to ours as well yeah yeah we've got a patreon that we just started that we announced at the beginning of this episode i love i will say like that if you listen to this and you love uh you know this show you should join the patreon because you'll find other people who also love this and then like you will actually have this shared place to start conversations and

i'm sure that your discord would be awesome because there's a lot of people looking for advice and having a lot of a background of like getting advice in difficult situations so i think they could really help one another in the discord yeah they should do it yeah oh i think it'll be i think that's like uh even just the posts like people write in the comments on posts in the patreon and it's really supportive and great i think like that's important because you're able like yeah finding people who are in like the like-minded thing i think like it's the same thing i think can actually be like really great about dating apps is it rules out people i'm like i don't want to have to ask somebody if you voted for trump you know i mean like i don't like i want

to like rule out all of these things that are like hardcore deal breakers in friends at the very beginning and so um yeah hit up that and yeah and like yeah yeah i think actually tangible advice join the patreon for this show and you will find other people who like this show and you will be their friend yeah yeah just don't give out your social security number anymore yeah don't do that yeah better be keeping like make online friends but like don't give people your address either unless you like really like meet in a public place and you separately drive each other and then if you ever fyi if you ever go on a date because i just listened to this episode of my favorite murder if you ever go on like a online date or anything or whatever don't let anyone

take you back home or like walk you to your door or anything like that this guy literally watched like he like they took ubers there and then he was like oh i want to make sure you get home okay she's like oh yeah it's so sweet i'm like don't believe it's a lie and he like walked her to her door and like watched her entering like her pin pad and her key and the next day she like went to her house and her bedroom door was closed and she lives alone and she never closed the door and her dog was freaking out and she was like oh let me go take the dog out first and she called 9-1-1 when she was like this is so stupid but like i'm just paranoid and like i feel like something's weird with my apartment and they go and he is underneath her bed with a knife and a bunch of

like all of these like fucking like crazy like torture shit literally the next day the next day after isn't that insane oh my gosh that dog saved her life i know i need a dog and probably other girl's lives too yeah yeah isn't that crazy yeah yeah don't let any fucking guy tell you that like i'm not like i like don't like any like this like chivalry sort of thing of being like let me be this really like great fantastic guy for you because guys don't do this like you don't need someone to do that also fantastic guys never tell the people that they're fantastic no it's fucking it's like literal bullshit like the idea and also like when i think about like my good guy friends like when you see like a guy that compliments you like like in public he's like

no i just like really like i am not usually this guy i want to say that i was like i have fantastic guy friends who will see a girl who's pretty in public and they're like no i'm not gonna go up and say that to her that's gonna make her uncomfortable and feel threatened and i was like that's what a good guy does a good guy isn't like hey i gotta do this you're like don't let people do that guys don't don't don't always send and when you're in ubers always send your location to share with people immediately as soon as you get in take pictures of everything i have like 40 000 pictures of my phone a whole lot of them are me like inside of ubers being like this is where i'm at this is all you and your close friends should just be on that like

find my friends thing where they do they can just see where you are just a thing that one too i'm all about that okay well sorry under the bed i'm so sorry i'm sorry i really should have warned friendship and receptionist yeah yeah yeah no one's gonna hide under your bed tonight don't worry i don't want to scare you like that you've got a dog and a cat and a cat and this is like a good learning like for you to learn yourself without your boyfriend so this is a good a good time in your life change is good change helps you grow yeah yeah and yeah feeling having your own friends it's a really like i think it's a very important thing yeah it's yeah it makes it makes everything a lot easier there's a lot less pressure on your relationship and your relationship gets

better and is more fun because you're not looking for everything from your partner or people that you like that are their people you know that you're like oh you're people you get your own people get your own people okay should we go on to the next call the next call um i am 26 years old and my boyfriend is almost 28 years old we've been in an exclusive monogamous relationship for about two years now, and we're at a point where we are spending almost every day together. We're not always sleeping over at each other's places, just due to parking constraints. But we're pretty happy about it, and I actually spoke with him last night to check in and make sure that he was okay with how much time we're spending together, because I wanted

to make sure that he was still having time to do the things that he wants to do. And we also just checked in on kind of, I guess, fake of the relationship, you could say, though that sounds super official. Just, you know, are you happy with how things are, and are you happy with where things are going? So that last question, he ended up saying, oh, well, you know, I don't really know where things are going, which it wasn't very encouraging to hear that. And I guess I feel like we should be moving forward in some way. And the problem is I'm not really sure what way. So I talked with him probably a few months ago about the possibility of us moving in together.

Obviously not yet. We wouldn't be able to do that until September. So at that point, it was like six months, nine months out. And he said, you know, I just don't think that's a great idea. And I'm also thinking, well, that might not be the next step for us if he's not enthused about it. Because it really takes both to be excited about moving in together to make that work. Anyway, I guess my thing is we just went to a wedding together and everyone was asking, oh, you know, are you looking together?

Are you proposing to it? And that was just a little discouraging to hear that and be like, no, we're just dating. We just see each other a lot. So on top of that, I'm actually also starting a grad program come September, and that'll be for two and a half years. So I guess I'm a little anxious about us being able to dedicate time together. And I do love seeing him every day, which is why the whole idea of moving in together came up in the first place. well if you have any suggestions on what to do i know that he and i need to talk more about this but i would welcome any advice that you have thank you so much and have a great day bye

rough he's checked out yeah uh that's that's pretty much i mean he's 28 so he's like old enough to know in two years if he wants to move in with someone or not and if he doesn't He just doesn't have the heart, I think. He doesn't think there's a future, but he also doesn't have any other better option, probably. He doesn't really know what he's doing. So he's just like, I want things to stay in the same place where it's just this, we are together and we have a nice time together. But, you know, this isn't a forever thing for him, I don't think. I think the graduate program is probably a great opportunity for you, in all honesty, to meet a lot more people and learn a lot more about yourself.

and i don't know you could give this relationship a little more if you wanted but it doesn't seem it doesn't read to me based off the information that it's like gonna be the one um also you're you're 23 he's 28 yeah like he should you know he's 26 26 okay yeah then you're both yeah you're both old enough to know if you want to move in together or not and if he doesn't yeah and it might just be like him it might not be that like this relationship it might just be like he doesn't want to settle down ever like he wants to just date like he doesn't want to ever move in with somebody he wants to just like keep it cat like keep it like monogamous and just exactly how you have it um and it totally this is like probably i think like one of the hardest things to deal with

in a relationship when you both really like each other but you just want different things and like that's it's not about waiting for someone else to come around because at the end of the day like it feels yeah it feels shitty to go to weddings and go to like and talk with people and feel like that's something that you want but you're waiting on him because that's just it's not fair it creates like a ton of resentment in your relationship like there's no way if you're not getting what you need and what you want out of a relationship and you're just waiting for someone else to give it to you like that's also a ton of pressure to put on him that like then you're also going to be in your head of being like well does he actually want this or is he only saying this

because this is what he knows that i want and i think like the most important thing in relationship is like obviously like love and chemistry and everything like that but also like wanting the same things like wanting the same things out of life and like out of a relationship with somebody and i think like it's been enough time that like you said like you like you guys should know i'm not like a oh like a meat like like when you meet someone you know that they're gonna be the one or whatever but like i think a couple i mean two years you see each other every day like yeah i was younger mots and i were younger than that when we moved in together and we're younger than i he's 29 now i'm 25 but like we're we were both younger than that before we started talking about

our future we wouldn't be like four years into this if we hadn't like been like yeah we want kids yeah we want to get married this is like our timeline of when we would want to get engaged and do all of that stuff like i wouldn't yeah i i wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship for an extended period of time not with like a guarantee or something or whatever but just knowing that like what i want what the person i'm with wants the same thing that i want and that it's not like i don't know like pulling teeth or kind of like waiting around because that's a really really shitty feeling and like i've been there in like lesser versions like when you're dating someone and like they're like yeah let's like keep it casual and you're like oh for sure and

you're like i'm only hooking up with you and i really like you and i really want like you to want this but i'm going to accept what you're giving me and hope that you get to where i am and it doesn't really happen and i think like you're right you definitely should have more conversation with him about it and talk to him about it maybe he's just like not a guy that's like into talking about his feelings but like even the way you said when he's like like that's just such like it's like you said checked out yeah it's just like he doesn't have this huge investment into the future of it and i'm sure this is very heartbreaking news but i also think you kind of know this and it's hard i'm sad to have to tell you this but i think it's it's probably

not the best thing and the longer you stay in it the more you're just going to be frustrated and it doesn't sound like it's going to change now you could be just super frank with him and be like this is how i feel i think we should end this relationship if it's not going forward because i have it's good only going to be harder once you're like studying and doing work in school and surrounded with other people who are like fun and cool and interested in what you're interested in and also pursuing bigger things because you're going into a graduate program if you're doing that it's because you want to pursue bigger things so it doesn't sound like you're on the same page as this guy and as like sad as that means the next several months might be it's you know it will help

you to grow and you know you'll you'll find someone who is in the same boat or maybe he'll be like damn it i was such an idiot uh never mind let's move in together who knows yeah i'm just a big i i'm for me it's like i'm it's important to me to be with somebody be want somebody to be want to be with me as much as i want to be with them and i think like that's obviously like not like an ego thing but like there is like a part of it that like even if yeah if someone's to come like saying like oh no never mind like okay we can do this kind of thing or whatever like you want someone and that person exists like this idea like oh men don't want to get married and they're like oh my god like these women like trying to like wife me up i'm you know husband

whatever but like all of that like that's not like that's like it's not always true like that's like i've definitely like i mean matz is older than me but i definitely have to be like yeah whoa let's pump the brakes like i'm not ready for like this aspect yet like you're older than me like let's wait it out but like you this isn't like a par for the course of relationships it's like trying to talk your boyfriend into taking these steps of like more like commitment and like being more serious um and it's not something you're gonna have to face in every relationship so don't think like oh well i've already invested this much time in this i'm gonna get into another relationship and the same thing is going to happen because like that's not necessarily true um but yeah

there's definitely they're like you want to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you do and like you shouldn't be like not that i'm saying that you're afraid but there's like a part of you that sounds like a little worried to get a direct answer from him and like you're not like point blank just being like do you ever see us moving in together and getting married and when what would that timeline be you have to ask those direct questions because right now it does kind of feel like you're tiptoeing around it because you don't want to get an answer you don't want to hear the no that you think you're going to hear yeah and so you just gotta like you gotta fucking hear it because no matter what even if you don't hear that no it's still a no you know

and i'm sorry it's heartbreaking uh because it sounds like you you know really like this this guy and i think he probably really likes you but you know that i've been in lots of relationships where we really liked each other and then we didn't end up together yeah we weren't right for each other and we didn't see the future and then i found somebody that i did see the future with and then that's where i am yeah yeah you'll be fine it'll be fine it'll suck for a while but yeah i hope it goes well let us know okay so now it's time for don't blame them i know play on words um and this is where a listener will call in with their own advice from like a previous episode if they're like listening

they're like hey that's something that similar has happened to me i'm gonna give my own advice on them. This is fun. Yeah, it's a good time. Don't blame them. Don't blame them. You should call them Don't Blame Um. Um. And then it's just me flipped. Because you've added two letters in there. Um? Um is U-M. No, no, no. Like an apostrophe E-M. Don't blame them.

Don't blame me. Don't blame them. Don't blame them. Oh, that's good. Just Look at you branding. I know. I like it. And you can have a little animation that goes Boop. Do you want to make the animation? Yeah. No, I'm not good at animations. Does any of the Try Guys good at the animations?

i mean i could do it i could do it if you want to send me if you want to send me the file like yes i can do it it'll take me an hour or two but i can do it i guess send it to him yeah okay all right so this is from the most recent episode that leo leo howard was on um the original caller was um a little conflicted about moving her she her um her boyfriend had moved away and she was conflicted about moving away from her family without the ring yeah without the ring yep i remember this yeah well becky did that so i'm ready she moved without the ring hi megan um i'm 23 years old and i live in pennsylvania so i'm calling in in response to

your most recent upload with leo um and you have that girl talking about how her and her man live six hours apart um she's nervous to move to him because she'll be giving up her whole life and she's worried about everything because they're not engaged or blah blah blah so i just want to quickly give my bit um because i went through something kind of similar kind of not at all um but maybe she can relate so um I graduated college last year um in May so I didn't want to work in my career um where I was living wasn't stable um I lived in a house that I rented off my mother she was selling it so graduated college losing my house um I fell out of a best friendship recently very depressive state I met my man on tinder actually um and he lived

about an hour and 45 minutes south of me I was from a small town with less than 2,000 people in it he was from a big city so um just driving to visit him gave me so much anxiety and um everything So, in the end, I ended up moving in with him after two months, and that's crazy to me, but it turned out to be the best thing I've ever done in my life. You know, I really took a chance on him. Now we're engaged, soon to be married. He's my soulmate. I got in my career path down here.

Now we have our own apartment. We have three cats. It's just, I'm living the best life I could have ever even hoped for myself. so i know it's a huge deal moving in with someone moving somewhere new but i say go for it and you know if it doesn't work out it'll work out you know you'll you can go back home you i'm sure you have a support system so uh yeah i just wanted to give my bit on that and um yeah that's all bye oh she's glowing with happiness that's great i love that that was a nice uplifting we try and end it on like a less sad one yeah uh so yeah i i moved um and i was 26 i just turned

26 when i moved since she was 23 so we're about three years apart and it was very sad first of all moving was just like the most difficult the actual day of moving was just heartbreaking totally heartbreaking uh but then she moved in with me and it was like much better but i we weren't we'd only been dating two and a half three years at that point maybe two years even uh so like i don't i we didn't know if we we didn't know we'd like we spent two years together and then we're gonna do this long distance thing and then we knew that she was she also wanted to move to la so it wasn't like she was just following me to follow me she that was in her goals before she met me uh so she just wanted to do it later so she moved out and then we moved in together and

then we were living together for a couple years and we're like yeah i think this makes sense also she was just leaving a pinterest page of wedding rings open all the time uh and i totally actually didn't get it i was oblivious why does becky keep using my computer to go on pinterest she was using your computer you still didn't get it yeah i just i was just like what's she doing oh my gosh what a girl just looking at rings all the time just looking at jewelry i just totally it was totally over my head did she have to tell you no it was she was like when are we gonna get i don't know probably soon i don't know i'm like she was like are we getting married yeah i think it's pretty clear we're gonna get married like we've been living together for four years it

seems like it's working out well so yeah probably and she was like well when are you gonna be like i don't know i don't even know what kind of ring you'd want she's like oh yeah yeah i thought you were just like love interest i think that the name of it was just pretty like that was her phase and it was just a lot of similar looking engagement rings and i i was like oh yeah okay sure and then i was like okay i'll go get a ring i wasn't really uh it was very unceremonious like uh it also it's you know being romantic is so tough yeah it's so tough to do that romantic know someone really well and you lived like yeah it's i think the idea of like a surprise

proposal all that only works if you would like a terrible idea you should not do a surprise you should talk about it and you can make the night that it happens be a surprise but it should not be a total surprise that's exactly how i feel my boyfriend's the opposite though because i love looking at wedding shit all the time that he's now had to be like he's like well constantly look over my shoulder like what are you doing i was like i'm just looking at wedding rings he's like okay you need to tell me when this is supposed to be a hint because he's like constantly like right when is it a hint and i finally he finally he was like you just need to tell me like when like when you get to the year that you want it to happen you have to tell me when that starts and

then like i'm good but like i can't keep like because i'll be like how pretty is this dress he's like is this a trick question would you like to get married you just showed me a wedding dress like yeah it's just pretty he's like i didn't fucking hate you it's pretty yeah and he's like isn't so true i definitely was like there was also like a whole i had the ring for a long time before i proposed and it was just because some like things happened like her grandpa got sick and like well it doesn't seem like this is a great time to do that and then it was like then it was like valentine's day i'm like no i'm not gonna do it on valentine's day and then it was like uh then it was like it was like march like oh there's nothing romantic about march and then

she was just like why haven't you proposed i'm like because i can't figure out when would be a good like cool proposal to be honest i can't figure it out everybody online is doing these cool things they're like on a bridge somewhere or they're like at a night they're in another country i'm like we don't have any plans i'm we're both very busy and then i was like she's like well it doesn't have to be like a super thing i just have to not be wearing sweatpants yeah like that's pretty much yet just don't propose to me wearing sweatpants and then i did propose to her on easter morning and it was before we had any pants on so i said technically technically we don't have pants on yet so technically you're not wearing sweatpants so it was very it was very cute that

was my thing too we don't really care that much about easter i just needed some physical thing to do to make it feel more significant so i like made a bunch of eggs around well because everyone goes to bali and gets engaged just also just like especially to because i'm in some sort of public light i feel like oh well i i have to film it it's gotta be a video it's gotta be a thing but i really didn't want to do that that's just i that's not me i don't i don't i'm not a big grand romantic gesture sort of person and that whole idea of that just totally stressed me out and i was like oh what if i what if it's not cool enough what if it's but that doesn't actually matter at all um they just want to be proposed to because you love them not because you're trying

to make a cool video oh it's so cute okay well that's it for our episode thank you so much for being on you were great you have to come back i will come back this is nice it was it was so um heartbreaking for me a lot of the time to be totally honest like yeah i i always i feel a lot of sympathy for people who are in rough patches of their life well you really shouldn't listen to a couple of the other episodes poor lisa schwartz i don't know why i love lisa and i think she's so insightful and great that i keep every time she's on i'm like let's like you know the heavy ones we feel uncomfortable doing other people let's have lisa and lisa's like you're fucking breaking me but she's so good at it she is really good at it yeah i don't know if i was

the best at it but i think you were great you're great at it it's always i think it's always super interesting to get like a guy's opinion especially a guy in a relationship because so there's only so many times that i swear to god i've said the same fucking when people i'm like get over this is dumb like he's not into you and everyone's like i'm gonna stick around and as soon as we have a guy on and says they're like they were right i'm like fine george take their advice because they're a dude like that's cool yeah but i can read in those like micro habits of guys i got guys know that a lot of guys are shitty too yeah it's no secret to a lot of us that a lot of them are total horrible people so and we had to deal with them all the time because they've always gendered and stuck

us with them like you boys in that room like no these guys are awful i don't want to be next to them let me out of this room i'm so glad you knew too it's like oh my god oh god that's true you have to live on a floor with only these guys they're gonna be awful they're so loud they are so selfish yep and they say really stupid things and they're super dumb oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah but I've been dumb too I've been dumb too I'm dumb all the time you have to be dumb

to learn to be smart true you have to know that you're being dumb that's the real that's the difference if you don't realize that you were dumb

then you're truly dumb no hope give up sorry no that's no that's too sad to end on well if you guys

want to be in an upcoming episode leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and can we try to make a song what are the numbers

you got it wait I just forgot 310 694 0976 310 694 boop boop boop

boop Luna I don't know what the end is you should figure out what it spells out oh yeah that's cute

that's good my friend in high school she had one that like it spells something out 1-800 no blames no blame

no blame blam blam blam I guess blame me would actually work blame me blame me right b-l-a-m-e-m-e you're really upping the production budget really trying to give you guys some more logos more graphics yeah yeah no no no we're not we're not here maybe someone who calls in can figure out how melodically to make the number work yeah

that's a good thing that's what i want you to do when you call so call in about the things you need to fix in your life and also a pitch for how the phone number should be sung yeah let us know guys sing it for us and if you're an international listener you don't have a song yet you can email us an audio file at meganpodcasts at gmail.com dot cam you've got a hook thing on that

you've got this dot cam thing see and that's working except I did a branded post on like Instagram stories and they were like can she say dot com not dot cam and I told you that too I just like I feel like I don't like not for this it was for an ad an ad video I was like I just like feel

Also, I just like need to make it like lively and more fun. Yeah, cam. Yeah, cam. Also, it's my go-to like Midwestern accent for like any situation. It's accurate. I'm like, is this awkward? Let me talk in a Wisconsin accent. Okay.

Well, where can people find you on the internet? Oh, you can find me. Oh, yeah. I was like, bye. See ya. You can find us on the Try Guys YouTube channel and you can at Try Guys everywhere else. And you can also find me at Keith Habs. And we have a wild summer and we have a book coming out.

Yeah. we've got a new podcast now the tripod which is more of a hangout talk about our goofy lives podcast and then we have uh audiobook and we're going on tour oh my god this is absurd it was one of those things where you work on a lot of projects all year and they all happen to happen at the same time so the book comes out june 18th my birthday uh the podcast just came out the tour starts the 21st of june we're going to 20 cities across america wow uh it's gonna be super dope we're like trying to do more than just like no most youtubers they'll do like i'll just get on stage and talk no we're doing like we're i'm we're writing original music we're making like a

spectacular variety show that's like is there drag involved there's not drag involved only because it takes so long to get into drag but i think in cities where we know drag queens and other people we're just trying to like yeah how can we make each show like very unique and that includes like other people coming into the show other people performing in the show and in general we're just doing a lot of multimedia cool performances it's called the legends of the internet tour are you guys taking a bus yeah we got a bus are you wrapping it with your faces no we don't want anybody to know we're in there and also we've heard that if you wrap your bus you can't open the windows oh yeah somebody poops in the bathroom you're trapped we have four boys we're starting

with four men and then we're adding all the rest of the people with us so like we all have tummy trouble so i don't think that's a good idea no no no not so fun so big summer so a lot of projects to check out and um i'll plug our patreon too because it's a really good community i feel like it's like unbelievably supportive i'm like oh i like look into the chats like wow these people are so nice that's maybe it makes us feel good about our community that they're all like super nice yeah well you guys have really nice comments on your videos because i also watch all your videos we have like really nice comments yeah people are always really nice and i enjoy reading them you know like no one's like gonna tell me like if it's like uh like uh i don't know like

what's the thing like when um what oh my god what is the series of that is doing that nobody yeah when like who's gonna win or whatever no one spoils it no one tells me yeah and i'm like thank you so much yeah it's a good he's working on a new season of candid competition right now it's so funny i'm so it has like a story arc i'm really excited we need to get him back on the podcast. Yeah. Because him and I are just, we were just the same person. It was a good time. Probably. Yeah. It was a lot of energy. And he's like in this relationship. Yeah.

They're not engaged yet. Yeah. They're probably gonna be soon. That's gonna be cute. He's definitely gonna make a video. Oh. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. I'm into that. Okay. Well, we'll see you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Don't Blame Me is a production by me. executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner production assistance

by julie carley and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso part of the her pod network