Don't Blame Me! - REPLAY: His Mom Came to Our Anniversary Dinner

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Original Air Date: December 2, 2021 Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Racism, Anti-Semitism, Homophobia Melisa is tired of the media not holding men accountable and Meghan reported a woman who threatened her.  They then give their thoughts if a listener was wrong in the following situations: Mom wanting access to her college child’s information Boyfriend inviting his mom to his anniversary dinner If you should tell someone that their boyfriend non-consensually touched you A colleague with an “attitude” They also discuss Judge Bruce Schroeder and Dave Portnoy Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Listen to Don't Blame Me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-blame-me/id1223800566 Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, everyone, and welcome to What Am I Wrong, the podcast. The fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, life-changing podcast from the two hotties with bodies. You know what someone told me? So I edited a bunch of photos of like what I would look like with a BBL because I saw them and I told you to stop. Never. One of my favorite things ever is just like picturing that because like as much as people say that like, oh, you know, you can buy whatever kind of body you want to an extent. Yes. That like I have like such a straight up and down body type, like my waist

is pretty similarly like size to my chest and my hips. It fits you. It does. I'm like lanky and like kind of straight up and down. And so for fun, I like to pretend what it would look like or think about what it would look like if I got a BBL, which if you are unfamiliar, because apparently some people were like, what's a BBL? And I was like, what TikTok for you page are you on? Because like that's how Mott's finally learned about it. But it's a Brazilian butt lift and you will just notice certain celebrities or maybe people in your own life who like suddenly have like, it's not even a dump truck. It's like a full shelf of an ass. And it also requires to like make it look more proportional because some people go extreme you'll do like implant fat

transfers on your hips too so just picturing me with that i don't have a narrow waist so you would have to do so much to kind of create those proportions and it made me laugh so fucking hard i don't know what the point of this was oh hotties with bodies and i was gonna say one of us has an ass the other one phase two we all have bodies though we do all have bodies we just have different bodies exactly i have a butt that looks like a turtle standing on its back legs it's got a little hump to it i said you were thicker than a dolphin thank you thank you the bar is so low i think you misunderstood the tweet because it said out of all the animal kingdom so that's a lot of animals okay so that is a lot of animals you're not wrong i'm learning a lot

about animals with our nephew because he just got a new book that has even more animals and constantly i'm like i don't even know what this is do you follow that guy on tiktok that gives animal facts no i don't think so i think you should follow it so that i can tell soren he will be pretty excited he's got like a peppa pig book from the library and he's like memorized all these books and so i could constantly just looking at him like he can read he can't he's two he's memorized it but i'm just like a big feat he's the best so what's new with you um i just you know uh enjoyed my thanksgiving early and i'm looking forward to tomorrow starting tomorrow to sunday where no one except for i do have to do one podcast on friday it was supposed to be yesterday

but one of the hosts had to have emergency mouth surgery what like a root canal or something yeah and so then we couldn't record that sucks but i'm still gonna be free it's fucking free it feels like the holidays have crept up so much we picked up our turkey on sunday and mott was like today he was like is there anything you need to do to prep the turkey while you're doing the podcast i was like oh i haven't even thought about it like i i'm not worried about it i'm not gonna do like i did like a dry salt brine one year where it was like a couple day long process was not worth it yeah usually it's not yeah as long as you get the flavor under the skin then you're fine turkey is turkey it'll be fine it'll happen and i get to hang out with soren so it'll be fun i'm excited

and then you get to go to um home for christmas yeah are you excited i am i'm excited for you thank you are you gonna like wear a grinch costume and like scare the kiddos or anything we said we're gonna do sweaters on christmas but i'm thinking of just getting like a mrs claus full outfit oh sexy yeah just not the sexy one not the sexy one since i'll be around but not the frumpy one either yeah in the middle like cute yeah wholesome but like would date mrs claus look i love that for you i'll probably wear my black patent knee-length boots to go with it oh okay katie heron mean girls shit for sure i guess we should give a spiel on this podcast this is but am i wrong where every week we talk about our lives we

read submissions from all of you and then we talk about current events and things that are happening and we decide who is the hero and who is the villain each of the situations if you want to submit for the listener portion send us an email at but am i wrong pod at gmail.com 300 words or less and give us a summary of your situation you did a wonderful job megan thank you so we should read results oh yeah and we did get some comments from people who wanted more descriptive because it's two weeks later oh do you know what i mean yeah i also need you all to stop voting before you've listened to the episode yeah people have been like well i just like get excited and so i vote first but you don't know what's going on yeah don't do that please it

is not helpful and i think i'm going to reformat the slider some people don't like it so we're going to figure this out but we're slowly inching our way to it and i would like to remind everybody that because the premise is but am i wrong you're voting for on instagram who is wrong right it's in the title okay so first up we have melissa versus her mom mom wanting to come visit for your birthday and overwhelmingly sorry mom you were wrong i'd say like 95 yeah maybe even like 98 valid very fair i will say i definitely go through and like see who like votes like the other way i'm like are you mistaken are you just like constantly hate listening to this like are you rachel might be potentially do you want to do the next step one or do you want me to

do it i'll do it so it's megan versus the manifestation girlies who's wrong i think this is pretty much the same as previous 98 manifestation girlies i love to go through and see the people who say i'm completely wrong so this one was basically manifestation can be incredibly problematic and the girl bossification of it is that now we have writer number one versus being okay with flirting with a guy in a relationship and it is like 99 the writer is wrong anyone who said the opposite unless they voted wrong i'm like you're telling on yourself like we know which kind of person you are in this situation oof all right so the next one is writer number two versa ex-friend who she previously ghosted and used cousin's death to renew friendship who is

wrong say like 80 say that the ex-friend was and for anyone who got some people got confused by the wording of this one so the writer has an ex-friend who she ghosted but then the ex-friend was the one who was using the death because someone was like i don't get it but did they listen to the episode i don't know stop voting once you have listened to the episode and like you have time you know you got some time to do it so then we have writer number three versus the friend group of guys who stopped talking to her that was like her ex-boyfriend and now she's dating another guy in the group and it is like 45 writer wrong yeah 45 yeah so we're like almost 50 50 but i think that makes sense all right then the next one writer number four verse her boyfriend's

culture so this is the one where the writer went out with her boyfriend and everyone's speaking spanish and she didn't really understand plus she wanted to salsa dance and he don't want to do salsa dancing the birthday girl who they went for does not speak english right and so 90 say that the writer's wrong yeah yeah again this is when i like to go through and see and i'm like what is this going on with these people which is fine you know then we have wrong of the week first one travis scott and astro world this is the most we have ever had for one for what like vote and it is overwhelmingly like 99 99.99 you can't even see any little bit of like literally like it is almost entirely everyone saying travis gone astroworld's fault i think we both the next

one too i think we picked really really like just decisive ones yes and so the next one is who's wrong ingo rottemacher versus disney but uh this is a guy from general hospital that wouldn't get vaccinated so he got fired his last day is today i believe which that's airing which i'm very excited about they're sending him off on a business trip so this is pretty much the same 99.9 wow see here's what i would like to know for the people who voted that he was like not at fault at all i would absolutely love to know if you could just clarify for me are you an anti-vaxxer or are you transphobic or racist too because he said he made a racist comment as well any of those three maybe pick and choose like two two out of three is it three out of three which one is it yeah some

of you i i feel like i can tell when someone's voting wrong and it's usually they have like blue hair and have like a pride flag in their bio and like have like a go fund me that's there for any sort of cause driven thing, those people I'm like, I think you voted wrong. So a lot of other stuff I see that I go, Oh, is that an RN in the bio? Oh, yikes. And I'm like, Oh, you're here because you love to hate. This is self sabotage. All right, so we'll get into our first segment of but am I wrong? And this is where we either pick something from our own lives that we were wrong about, or a hot take. What do you have? So I have a hot take another angelic week for me cannot say the same about myself i had multiple to choose from personal stories this week mine is

i don't think this part is a hot take that we don't hold men as accountable to things as we do women but the specific take is chrissy teigen who i will no longer ever defend i used to in the past but all these tweets and messages that have surfaced about her i just don't agree with a lot of things that she's done this past week she hosted a squid games party but she also hosted it with her husband but all the headlines are saying chrissy teigen had this party and no one's holding him accountable i literally didn't even think about that part of it it is a party that they both threw and why are people just attacking her and not him that is such a good point i unfollowed her on like stuff it's just like i also think that like when someone has said or done something that

is like incredibly like damaging just to a point where like like if i'm not a part of like the community that they have like specifically offended but even if i am like there is just like a level of like i need to unfollow you for a bit and like if i like later on decide that i feel like you've handled this in a way that is adequate if i'm a part of the group who has been offended or if I am not, if I see that other people have felt that this has been really worked on, I'm just going to like tap out for a bit. But I saw it on a different post. And the irony of the fact that like BuzzFeed had reported it, yet BuzzFeed has like 15 quizzes about like, how would you die in Squid Games? Like buy the most Squid Game aesthetic things for your holiday

wish list that are like all affiliate links and i was like this is super odd in that there is kind of this vendetta but at the same time people used to be so annoying because it was like buzzfeed was obsessed with her right and it reminds me of like the the fangirl to troll pipeline where like you become so obsessed with someone and then when they can't be held to in most cases i mean unrealistic standards i don't think what she did is like an unrealistic thing that we should that we should be expecting people to do like that was a really fucked up stuff that she had said but when she did that then they turned so so hard because they had gone so hard for her like positively before but the snl did like a whole squid games like song i know a lot of people have i haven't watched

squid games me neither i won't watch it because it's not my cup of tea there's nothing fun about that type of thing that's not my genre yeah but if we're gonna attack her for doing this why aren't we attacking john legend too yeah yeah no i agree matza sent me the original article and i think that like i'm one of those people that i'm like i just think that at this point for everybody involved like i just probably wouldn't post that kind of stuff like it's not necessary to post it but but she does things to post them yeah but it's also like i never even like recognize like oh yeah she did this with her husband and he's getting none of it yeah so there's my hot take for this week hold men to the same standards as you hold women you're going to attack the woman attack the

man too it does like filter into a lot of stuff like if a woman is dating like a man who has like done something bad or whatever like you get absolutely torn apart but if a man is dating like a woman who's like quote-unquote problematic or something that's very much none of their own that's none of your business like blah blah blah that's a really good one yeah thank you yeah i'm so with you. So mine is personal. And again, I had a couple to choose from because I woke up and chose violence on every form of social media this week. Does it have to do with baby names? No. See, I didn't even have to choose that one, which I totally could have. But this one is me versus Rebecca, who works at U.S. Bank. So a couple of days ago, when you are all listening

to this, it'll be much longer. But the trial finished and we got the verdict for the Kyle Rittenhouse trial. And so I re-shared to my story a tweet from the New York Times that says, Kyle Rittenhouse, who fatally shot two men and wounded another, was found not guilty on intentional homicide and four felony charges in a deeply divisive case that fed national debate over vigilantism, gun rights, and the definition of self-defense. And so I re-shared that and I just said disgusting. That's all. There are sometimes I post things like the time where I said, I don't know, something about like abortions. And they said, they're praying for me. And I said, I'm casting a satanic spell on you. Like, I know what I'm doing when I'm saying those things. Like

that's going to get people out of the, like people who are like, not, I'm not usually offended by what you post, blah, blah, blah. This of everything I've ever posted, I just reshared it said disgusting. She responded. And this is a random girl on Instagram. You stupid commie cunt. I reply can i help you rebecca you are the worst kind of person on the internet all you care about is that this kid was white if he was black you wouldn't be pulling the race card the justice system determined the verdict they're not obsessed with race and propaganda like you are you are so brainwashed people like you should be shipped off to an island to starve ruining this country smh with like the hand smacking face emoji. And I was like, oh my, wow. Okay. And in typical me

fashion and form, I'm like, where does this, this girl, this is not a private account. This is not like a, everything is hidden. Like no profile picture. This is not a Finsta, nothing. So a quick little search pulls up where she works, her LinkedIn, all of that. And I see that she works at a bank, which means that she is dealing with people. She's not self-employed. If someone like works for an MLM and they like send me a message like this, like I'm not going to like fucking reach out and be like, hey, LuLaRoe, I'm just letting you know. Like, no, no, no. If it fits, it fits. Like this, I'm like, so naturally I reach out to U.S. Bank and I say, hi, I just wanted to know if this behavior is aligned with your company values. And it kind of blew up on

twitter and even people who are like not on my side of it were like do i agree with like the verdict of the trial but like you can't she can't say that to people like you can't do all this and then it got into this whole discussion of people being like you can't be fired for personal opinions a physical threats of violence are not an opinion neither is name calling or any of that and you can be fired for you can be fired for any reason welcome to capitalism like truly like this is something that like I think like that is so lost on people who are like so anti any like government intervention and regulation in whether it's like work or income or homes or assets resources anything like that I was just like you're kidding me and also like you sign a social

media contract at companies that like either you have to like come on burner account you can't have any that you are tied to that very similar to like you know sororities and I was like come on so she deleted everything she unsent all of her dms she like privated her whole linkedin she private she deleted her facebook she I think changed the name of her instagram like all of this wild wild stuff and people are still like arguing about it all over my twitter but in the words of taylor swift play stupid games win stupid prizes did you get a response back from us bank yeah they said we've like forwarded the song to like the right party and like thank you for bringing this to our attention well but a ton of people have been like messaging them like one girl

was like if you don't do this i'm closing my account like i've been there for 15 years like blah blah blah and and also the people who have been like well what if someone did that to you and i was like go go right ahead who's gonna do it like it's like you've seen me saying like any like really like radical liberal opinions and you want to reach out to any of the brands that sponsor me like go right ahead i would love if then we weed any of those people out who don't want to but also they have to do their due diligence like i don't get certain brand deals because of like how i talk online and how i've been online like that's how the nature of this goes and just the idea that people are like you can't be messing with someone's livelihood i'm

like i didn't she did she's the one that started it you she didn't have to say one thing to you nope and it's like we'll be the bigger person and i'm like karma will do its own thing and i'm like hi i'm karma nice to meet you bitch but even someone said like i agree with like what she said but like i think like this girl megan was like wrong for sending it to her work but like when you have dumb and wrong dumb is always going to lose she shouldn't have like had any of that stuff public like if she has those repercussions it's not because her company found out what she said it's because she said she said it there's nothing for them to find out if you don't say anything she felt real brave that day she felt very very brave also someone was like you baited

her and I said with can I help you Rebecca that's not that's not baiting at all I was shocked that she even replied after that one because I was like okay because I you know on her other like social media accounts like there were some like you know posts for like pro like women's rights kind of things and it was very much like i don't want to make this political and i was like oh so what has happened to you in the last like couple years because you were like towing the line of like i don't want to upset people but like i care about women's rights to then being like full force i don't know i like to blame men for these things yeah but you know you gotta give her her own responsibility to and she her actions will be dealt with that is the truth so i do not think

i was wrong at all i have no no problem whatsoever reporting anyone to like their work at all especially if they're working with customer service or working with people like and they're not self-employed like no your company has the right to know how you speak to people online let's get into our next section which is but are they wrong and this is when people write in and share this one is about a mom and child I'm a senior in high school and just started applying to universities I asked my mom to read over my application just to make sure I had everything correct that I didn't forget to add anything and so that she could pay the $100 application fee there was a space to add a third party who would have access to your application status and if

accepted all your grades information classes etc. I had left this section blank because I thought it was unnecessary and kind of childish. She tried adding herself into this section and I stopped her. It ended up being a huge argument which was unexpected because she had never been that concerned with my grades. I have to send my report cards. She doesn't know the login or the day they come out. Her argument is that it won't be any different than it is now so I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of this. I said that the whole point of university is to be independent and be an adult. She also said that if she is the one paying for it, she wants to know what is going on with my schooling. My mom and stepdad don't have any money put aside

and have offered to take out loans. I said that if the money is going to be held over my head like this for the next four years, I would rather just take out the loans myself instead of waiting for her in our fight to be over i just submitted the application myself and paid the fee am i wrong i don't think you're wrong no i don't want to like collude these two things together because they're very much not that but like before you get to like financial abuse there gets to be and not saying that that's this was going to go anywhere close to that but when there is money being held over your head like that puts you in a really tough space constantly and that's something that like is not a necessary thing in this circumstance you know like you don't need your mom like it's

loans either way agree i think that you should take out the loans in your names anyway because as long as she has some type of say and control then she's going to try to control your life yeah and if you're going to be an adult i take it you're not technically adult yet since you got your dad's permission but if you don't want her to have any say then don't give her any reason to have say so i don't think that you're wrong in any of this i don't think so either and also like then if anything were to potentially happen it's in your control right so yeah you're not wrong at all absolutely not at all okay next up i am 20 she her pronouns and my boyfriend is 22 he him pronouns, and his mom is also she her pronouns. This past weekend was my boyfriend and I's one

year anniversary, and this is my first real relationship. As we are making plans the Monday before our anniversary, he tells me his mom called him today and she's coming to visit for the weekend. He said it was very last minute because his dad was leaving town for the weekend and she didn't want to be alone. He then asked me if she could join us for dinner on Saturday, our anniversary. I reluctantly accepted because I felt like I had no other option. I thought that my boyfriend had forgotten to mention our anniversary to her when he talked to her, but he did mention it, and she decided to come anyway. The night of the dinner, my boyfriend informed me neither he nor his mom had dinner reservations on a busy Saturday night, despite the fact that I had

encouraged them to make reservations at the restaurant we all agreed upon. We had to jump around to restaurants trying to avoid a two-hour wait, and on the car ride there, my boyfriend mentions our anniversary, and his mom says, are we still doing that? After the dinner, I was understandably upset because the night didn't feel like a celebration for us. He claims that there was no way he could have asked her not to come to dinner. And he also didn't actively make other plans to celebrate our anniversary another night. Am I wrong? Should I just get over it? I'd be so mad. I would be so mad. Like, I don't know if you're downplaying how mad you are, but like I, from this in itself, like I feel like I would be so much more mad. This is just like

no boundary. I mean, we all know the red flags that I talk about anytime that there's like a zero boundary with a mother-son relationship. I'm like, red flag, run. But this seems like he is at fault and his mom's at fault, you know, but like you're not dating his mom, you're dating him. And I just think that like, you should be able to tell your mom like, oh, hey, sorry, we have our one year anniversary. We're not going to be able to do this. but then at the same time i'm like kind of did you a favor because it's not like he actually planned anything sounds like you were the catalyst like driving the idea of like oh let's do something let's like celebrate blah blah blah and he couldn't even plan it when his mom was here

right and like her saying like oh are we still doing that so rude we oh ew like she is the third person in this relationship there's no way that he could have asked her not to come how about this hey mom it's actually blah blah blah and i's anniversary that weekend um i'm sorry that dad's not gonna be home but we have plans love you bye this is not like a hard place to be in no you know what i mean like he had lots and lots and lots of options he would rather spend time with you and his mom on your anniversary than just you yeah it doesn't seem like he really gives a shit about the anniversary at all even though you've made it clear it's important to you so Like even if it's not your gut reaction or like your gut instinct to feel like, oh, this

date is important. I like celebrating this. It's like, oh, my partner wants to do this and you can't even plan it. You are not wrong. Don't get over it. Stuff needs to seriously change or like bounce. But hey, let's be honest. This is red flags, mama's boy.

My automatic assumption is just bounce. Bounce baby out the door. I think I know that song. I don't want your shit no more. Nope, not that one. nope lost it all right so we're going to take a break now we and then we'll be back and we're back should we hop in to the next sure i am a 27 year old female and the guy he him is 24 and his girlfriend she her is 25 we met through mutual friends and got on all right

had a similar sense of humor and interest but never hung out one-on-one his girlfriend would sometimes hang out with our friend group so i met her a few times right before covet 19 we went on a night out our friends went into a bar ahead of us and the bouncer wouldn't let the guy in because he was too drunk i suggest that we get some food to sober him up he then made a pass at me put his hands down my dress started saying he was really into me and we should have sex this made me super uncomfortable thankfully our friends then came to find us i put this down to him being blackout drunk a few weeks later my housemate 27 he him invited this guy to our house to watch football the guy got drunk and tried to kiss me the next day i tested i texted him saying he made me feel really

uncomfortable and conflicted in respect of his girlfriend and making it clear i didn't like him in that way he was very apologetic i have avoided seeing him since part of me feels guilty for never telling his girlfriend about this but another part of me isn't sure whether it was my responsibility ew ew ew twice you rejected him yeah and he has a girlfriend yeah and just so wildly inappropriate so she's wondering if she's wrong for not telling the girlfriend no if you don't want to but like you don't feel comfortable to then no yeah because like this is something that happened to you that like you can decide how you like view the situation or not but like this was like a non someone non-consensually touching you and coming on to you especially when they're drunk and also a man

so this is your story and your experience if you regard it as trauma that's your choice you don't owe her anything in this like you owe everything to yourself but if you want to tell her and you just feel like you should like you just feel like it's not your place to tell her and you shouldn't tell her like you totally can't like if that's something you want to do like fully go for it but if it's not something you want to do you don't owe anyone that yeah if you feel comfortable to do it then do it if not then don't do it and i think you're doing the right thing by you know keeping your distance too yeah what about like the fucking roommate who like invites him over to watch football and stuff like does the roommate know i mean if he would got drunk and tried to

kiss her at the foot watching whether i was like the more private yeah it was a friend not in the room yeah because i think if you feel comfortable and like i think avoiding him or right on that but so i think if you feel comfortable letting your roommate know or someone else know like so he's like not being invited around anymore because like this is not not an okay thing for him to do Huh. Sorry. Yeah, fuck that. Last one of the but are you wrongs? Dear Megan and Melissa, I work in an office environment with around eight ladies, age range like 25 to 45. There's one girl in her mid-30s and we don't have much in common, therefore don't hang out outside of work and small talk is minimal. She talks a lot about her sex life in the office and I do feel like our co-workers

live vicariously through her wild and exciting life. This easiest way I can describe her is she's a total Samantha. Everyone loves her, but although she's well-liked, she doesn't seem to have close friends. We have worked together for about three years now and have never had any issues. I respect her as a colleague and she is good at her job. She has had major mood swings over the last six months and has become really difficult to work with. Some days she walks in looking fabulous and she's really mean and sassy, but not in a good way. Some days she shows up in sweatpants and no makeup looking not great so side note the writer term that they used was hella homeless and i just want to make a statement that that is incredibly problematic and not okay

to say at all that's not something that we stand by no wanted to censor but also wanted to let you know if you didn't know that that is not a term to use in this sense at all and she looks borderline on the verge of tears some days she looks presentable and is work efficient there are so many versions of her, I can't keep up with which version we're going to get. The biggest issue I have is the attitude. She talks to people like shit and either disguises it as humor or says a half-ass apology and then says, I have a lot going on. I do think she has a lot going on and serious mental health issues that she needs help with. Everyone is just brushing this under the carpet because as soon as someone says mental health, everyone starts walking on eggshells.

I spoke to my manager about her behavior and I was told, you cannot suggest to people that they need therapy. I was made to feel like I was the villain for saying her recent behavior is unacceptable. And yet all I suggested is that she needs help. I have good intentions, but I, I appreciate it's not 2009 anymore. So you can't just call someone bipolar when they have mood swings. I have tried to handle the situation as gently as I can. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Whatever's going on in her personal life is affecting her work performance. And I would feel a hundred percent more sympathetic if she stopped being mean, but feel like she has a free pass to say, do whatever she wants because she has mental health issues. It's so hard because

I do believe she does and believe she needs professional help, but do not agree with her behavior recently so hit me with tough love am i the asshole in this situation well you use the word homeless describe so i'm having a homeless and you said bipolar if you're saying this to us yeah everyone when you're describing things that you go through you usually you know make yourself seem like in the best light possible so if you went to your employer and said that she needed therapy, which you cannot say, that makes me believe that you probably brought up by her being bipolar in this meeting, as well as saying she looks homeless or said something that was worse. If you went in there and just talked about her job performance and that's it, then that would

have been fine, but you brought mental health into it. Yeah, that's on you. Yeah. And since you brought that into the situation, then you are wrong in this situation. Yeah. A hundred percent. Like this is, I am against anyone suggesting to someone, Hey, I think you need to go to therapy unless it is a mental health professional or if it's someone you're incredibly close to, you already personally attend therapy. There's nothing, nothing more patronizing than someone who does not go to therapy. Tell someone else that they need therapy, like fuck off. And if someone is going through something like a mental health crisis or they're like really depressed or whatever, it's the same thing as like telling someone that like, oh, did you know you've gained weight? And you're like,

oh, I have no fucking idea. Like, oh, you're really depressed. Maybe you should get some help. Oh, no fucking way. I had no idea I wasn't doing well. People have to like come to their own terms of like when they're ready to do that kind of stuff. And that's like how I feel in personal relationships. Like, I don't think that like pressuring someone to go to therapy is as somebody who's been on the receiving end of that. Like, and I've also 100% done it to friends before and have like since apologized like that was so out of pocket and fucked up and like I've been on the reverse like it sucks like you cannot do that at work at all like if there are certain things like she's being really mean is she being mean to you is she being mean to other co-workers like

what is your responsibility here in like facilitating her day-to-day behavior like and what she wears like this is like very much like oh I'm recognizing that she's going through this like mental health thing and like I feel like I need to bring it up to like our employee like no that's also like as somebody who deals with like mental health struggles if I confide in like a co-worker that I'm like not doing well and then you go tell our boss no she has she has to be the one to disclose her own like medical information if she wants to and like if you're having specific trouble with her on a work project or something that she has said you address those things in the moment and then like you can tell your boss like she's been late on delivering x y

and z or if she's like being rude to somebody like have a conversation with them aside be like hey was how do you do you feel about that interaction how can i assist you in those situations like and they're like no i really don't care i don't want to say anything then like you don't but like you can't go around like micromanaging and controlling everyone and everything because like you're not her employer if they like don't like her behavior they can fire her and they that can be it but like you don't get to have it be like well I want to come at this from an empathetic way and I like she needs help but I don't agree with her behavior like none of it's your problem right and like if it is too hard for you to work with somebody like this who like you

feel like you need to simultaneously save but then also judge and like talk to your boss about like this might not be the job for you. I just really don't like how this was painted. It feels like very clear that either she has not been diagnosed and has told you that she deals with bipolar disorder or you have decided that she has because like you really tried to paint this in like a, she's wearing these clothes one day and then these clothes, like it's super irrelevant. Yeah, you're wrong. This is not your place and we shouldn't be out here judging other people's mental health especially when it comes to work because you actually could be fired for this without a doubt she could come to your boss and then you could get in in trouble for this you are

the villain for saying that that that she needs to go to therapy she needs help and like that's unacceptable unless she asked you or unless your boss asked you like unless you are afraid that somebody is going to do harm to themselves or others you need to step the fuck back also other people can see that shit do you know what i mean i really can't be like well i have to do something because nobody else like she works other people people not what was that the last one of these yep that was the last one okay so now it is time for but are they wrong also fondly known as rachel of the week asshole idiot of the week who would you like to nominate i would like to nominate judge bruce scrotard so this is the judge in the kyle riddenhouse trial he basically

made a mockery of the judicial system not allowing them to use the word victim when it came to the people that were killed allowing this asshole to pick jurors at random out of i don't know if that was like a bingo thing you know what i'm talking about when you play bingo and they yeah spin the numbers and pull it out and just the way that he handled this whole trial he made a mockery of the judicial system which is a joke to begin with but he was the ringleader in this clown show and yeah fuck him yes i agree with absolutely everything i also think that there truly should be like we talk about old white men all of the time and like do i think that old white men don't deserve rights i mean no that's not what i'm saying do i think that there should be like

certain jobs which as an old white man you were either age you age out of or like you have to continuously pass tests like similar to driving tests and being a judge is one of them so clearly wildly biased and like just like a fucking bigot and idiot and asshole that like the fact that we all watched it happen is like wow i knew what the outcome was gonna be so there was no surprise to me when it was announced but just the way the whole thing was handled it was like a tv show i know and this judge is a democrat what yeah he was nominated to the court as a democrat like he's a democrat like a clinton democrat as in bill that's what i mean obviously but like like what flavor of democrat he was nominated in 1983 oh that's a different kind of yeah democratic party

but still he is a registered democrat see old white men doesn't matter what their political affiliation is our president said he stood by the jury yeah it is like well the legal system did its job and i'm like yeah it did do the job of not actually getting justice for families or victim like the reason why everyone's like well we have to like this is it is what it is like this is how we had the outcome and i'm like do you think if this was truly fair and truly just like these are the outcomes we would constantly be having no it's working how it's intended to work mine is also about a white man okay so i would like to nominate and let's say this week every week in the past and every week moving forward because there will constantly be something that

this man is doing dave portnoy he's like the head honcho of barstool sports and i've had a lot of people who have like asked questions about barstool and like the oh why is it problematic like why blah blah blah so barstool as a whole right now what they've done really well is they've just like parlayed into podcasts in a way that defies their regular demographic and of people who aren't familiar with like barstool the website and the history which is inherently misogynistic by nature By design, this is an incredibly sexist, misogynistic, problematic website. It has been forever. Employees have been like, it has always been this way.

But what they do is they have podcasts, which they hire women to host and do all of this stuff where they get a female fan base. Then they're able to not necessarily be held accountable by the people who would be really pissed off by their statements because they have this fake guise of like, women love us. Like, we're doing great things. Like, these things are not so attached. They've, like, really tried to distance simultaneously. Like, Barstool has distanced themselves from themselves.

So he is a professional asshole. Like, truly, like, I wouldn't call him a professional troll, but he kind of is. Like, if you are familiar with, like, Perez Hilton from back in the day, like, this is, it's a similar kind of, holy shit, how can you say this about another person kind of thing. Like, constant harassment and beratement of other people. But as opposed to Perez Hilton,

who would go after like specific celebrities over and over again. Dave Portnoy specifically goes after female journalists and black athletes. So we can just tell where his affiliations are. So just a little brief history on some of his controversies. I urge everybody,

I like source these mostly from The Cut and an article in The Daily Beast. I will have them listed in the show notes, but there's way too much for me even to like go through all of them. Like when I say he has so many controversies, In 2014, he called an ESPN reporter, Sam Ponder, a fucking slut who should sex it up and be slutty instead of talking about being a working mom. The reporter also alleges that he said her child

should have been aborted, but he denies he ever said that. She said that there's a video that he has since deleted. After that, he then printed merch with a striking similarity to her face on it and a clown nose with an entire hashtag and Twitter campaign all about like taking her down. Next part, trigger warning for rape, fat phobia, racism, sexism, violence against women, anti-semitism and transphobia i might have missed one but it's everything he joked that a woman wearing size six skinny jeans kinds of kind of deserves to be raped right he joked that well we don't condone rape should a woman pass out at one of their blackout parties and sexual assault that happens is kind of a gray area he referred to critics of the parties as crazy bitches and ugly

d-y-k-e-s i don't feel comfortable saying that word he wrote a blog post snarling that he was bringing back the word cunt which not one for years to reclaim barstool then promoted the sense deleted blog post with the headline slut reporter drinks cam newton's jizz he said that anyone who blocked traffic while protesting state sanctioned violence and the racist policing of african americans deserves to die a horrible gruesome slow death and not enough bad things can happen to these people i want them all harassed dead and murdered further he wrote multiple pro-torture blog posts, multiple transphobic blog posts, homophobic ones. There's another employee there who has like one of like the very front facing one, a long standing affinity for jokes about

Jewish people. Well, Portnoy and two other higher ups conducted an exit interview with a female intern on the rundown. And he said that his coworkers were engaged in a race to see who could fuck her first. He also threatened to fire barstool employees who tried to engage in union organizing activity. And currently what has happened is he has been outed for repeatedly going after just legal women and very, very legal women and having violating and humiliating sex with them. I'm not going to dive into this stuff because I can't issue enough of a trigger warning in it. Like it's really intense, like accounts that these women have like alleged and that's like on the cut. I would really recommend people listening. I mean, reading that article, but it is

one of those like conversations of oh wow this is not illegal but it should be and like it seems like we have in like the law which we do this like black thick black line of what people consider sexual assault and rape what is okay and what is not and in reality it's not like that line is ever held up in court do you mean like it's not like there's any real like well if you go past this line you're gonna try someone and then they're gonna go to send to jail or anything like that no, but it seems like people have this arbitrary idea of what assault is or things are just unacceptable. And then these things happen. And then it's like, well, not this, this doesn't count towards that. And I'm like, in hypothetical, you would think that this would, but he's built

an entire brand on misogyny, slut shaming, and perpetual harassment. Like one of the biggest things with Barstool, it's like, if you are anti Barstool, any journalist or anything, like he will literally go on Instagram lives for hours, just like saying vile shit about them, make podcasts about them make merch about them like all of this kind of shit and it becomes this mob mentality and they do all of these podcasts like at the beginning that are like hey like with women that are like hey women like us like blah blah blah and it's like the i have a black friend argument essentially of what they're doing and like perpetuating this constant violence against women and it targets internalized misogyny with all of these podcasts and like i feel horribly

for the people who I assume there are some women there who are stuck in contracts or have been hired and were incredibly broke and like didn't have access to like this was like their job and they got hired and they have like been kind of stuck in this sort of thing and women a sad unfortunate fact of like all of our lives we all go through internalized misogyny we all have to unlearn it at some point and this just feels like a very bad hiding of like we're a brand that banks on a brand that's built on misogyny and we're going to have all these podcasts with women doing all of them talking about like you know women's issues light and they're still gonna all be under this brand that is inherently misogynistic and we're going to breed all of these women to to

not unpack their internalized misogyny and just be even more misogynistic and it's just horrible and i am not uh oh you can separate the art from the artist and this one specifically is like if you support content that he puts out or his company puts out, you are by definition supporting him because that's what the site is. Like that's what this is built on. It's been built on his personality and what he is like. And it has always remained that way. And just because you listen to a podcast that is completely unrelated, but is still with Barstool, hold those people to a standard of send a message and being like, I really love your podcast and I really love your show. i don't feel comfortable like supporting barstool i really hope that there is a time where you are

no longer working with them i would love to know as a fan of you what can i do to help make this show that i love succeed without them follow those podcast hosts on their personal accounts like do all of that stuff this is nothing against those women unless those women have like doubled down on those views and everything and this is kind of how i felt with like the call her daddy like alex cooper kind of like leaving and whatever i'm like i really hope that the views of this podcast change and like things change because i want to see people succeed outside of like leaving barstool and all of that but i'm just like very very very done with like seeing people defend the podcast that they listen to and the content that they listen to that is produced by

barstool and then be like well i don't know anything about barstool and like when simultaneously when all these things are going on, you are contributing to the success of this incredibly problematic company. It's every day is something new. It's just horrendous. Yeah. These are awful people. Awful, awful, awful, awful, awful people. So that is our episode. And if you want to vote and let us know who you thought was wrong in these situations, head on over to our Instagram. we will have a story. It'll be in our highlight. And you basically have like 24 hours. Should we wait till Fridays to post it so it gives people a day to listen? Oh, we'll do that on Fridays. Hopefully that works better for all of you. And remember,

when you are voting, you are picking who is wrong or who is more wrong. And if you want to follow us on our socials, I'm at Megan Rinks everywhere. Go watch my YouTube channel and, you know, presets book all of those fun things and i am at she is not melissa and then also at diamond imprint productions please follow and listen to all the podcasts i produce and all the audiobooks i direct and anything i breathe on thank you hell yeah and then please go comment on our latest instagram posts or send to our dms and let us know what topics you want to talk about want us to talk about for the uh but are they wrong nominating the rachel of the week because again we are pre-recording for the holiday season we would love to uh to know so we'll we'll circle back

and we'll see you again soon bye goodbye but am i wrong is a production by me megan ramps and me melissa demonts plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson Thank you.