Don't Blame Me! - REPLAY: My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Try to Have Sex Again

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Original Air Day Feb 17, 2022 Meghan believes that the upper middle class is worse than the rich. Melisa is over the commercialization of Valentine's Day, looking at you Build-A-Bear After Dark. They then discuss if listeners were wrong in the following situations: Strangers obsessing over your dog Not including a friend in your bridal shower Anti-vaxx classmate's mother's death Bad sex with long distance boyfriend And in "But Are They Wrong" AKA "Rachel of The Week" they discuss filming unsheltered people and posting on Tiktok and Matt Walsh Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Listen to Don't Blame Me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-blame-me/id1223800566 Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody welcome to the brand new episode of your absolute favorite podcast tied for your absolute favorite podcast you're right tied tied uh but am i wrong this is us no not this this is but am i wrong this is us recap podcast only here for the final few episodes i've never watched a full episode it's like truly like no shade to that show but it's truly my worst nightmare show it's like the the trope of cancer movies in a tv show where it's like yes i am going to make a television show so sad you will cry every episode and i'm like hard pass yeah and see like i like gray's anatomy where i can cry every episode but it's because of like people that won't be there the next week

so it's good this is us you're you're with them through decades decades of trauma and i'm like not for me great show not for me without a doubt like you can only get me to watch one of those shows when you conned me so a show like parenthood i thought parenthood from the initial season i thought it was and with the people involved i thought it was a comedy i was like that looks like a comedy because most of the actors on it were comedic actors and then i watched and i was like i did not come here for this i did not consent to be emotionally damaged in that way and they just they throw it in at like i forget what season that they're just like your heart let's shatter it and i was like i thought this is a fun lighthearted television show about a family

still such a good show um i guess we should introduce ourselves if you're new here my name is megan what is your name my name is melissa diamond mott and um together we are two people who have never been wrong about anything in their entire lives so we decided to start a podcast where we tell all of you when you are wrong because why not so on this show we are going to share things that have happened in our lives in recent time or hot takes and we'll decide if we think that we were right or wrong and then we will get some emails from you decide who we think was wrong in that situation and then we're going to talk about pop culture celebrities things that are currently going on in the world and do the exact same thing and then you can head on over

to our instagram stories and vote on who you think was wrong those will be up tomorrow if you're listening to this it'll be up maybe i don't want to make any promises yeah let's not make any promises i currently have just you know it's been a lot it'll be up before the next episode it will be up before i can guarantee i would also like to note that i like go me for managing to get them up like the the time that we're recording this the friday last friday that i posted all of those i managed to post them all before i got the call from mott saying hey i'm in the er so it was the most on time i had been for the only day where i actually had an excuse to not be on time this is true this is very true i did not expect it to go up yeah hear more about that in this week's episode

of don't blame me which came out tuesday tuesday i mean sorry which came out monday i was like are we pushing the show i said that very confident if only we had video for this episode in my face i was like i literally have no podcasts that come out on tuesday i was gonna say i'm pretty sure we're recording right now on a tuesday so that's weird that's funny so what's new with you you know it's been very warm we have like a heat advisor going on right now in los angeles so i've been i know but i've been sitting outside yesterday i was supposed to direct an audiobook and there were some technical difficulties on the engineer's side and so i didn't so i was like oh it's nice outside i'm gonna go sit and so that's the first time i sat outside and i just worked all day and

i was very productive that's so nice i didn't even know it was hot outside until i literally got like a heat advisory warning on my phone well it's from alexis so that's why but it got an advisor's like it's gonna be that to like the 11th i think yeah moss told me that today and i forgot about it and then i went to go move his car and i was like the fuck and i looked and it was like high of 89 this week and i was like what so weird well i'm happy for you and your vitamin d thank you get that d i wish how are you doing i'm okay i've been a little stressed the long covid thing has been wrecking me and long covid paired with adhd has been wrecking me and so mons has picked up like a lot of the slack and he's like very good at just like doing all that

shit and then he broke his right hand and so now i have to pick up said slack yes and it is like when i tell you that i was supposed to get groceries on friday it is tuesday and every day just get them delivered that's what i'm supposed to do but i keep forgetting because i have so much other i have so much work that i have to do i have like a brand deal that i've been editing and like filming and doing all of this shit and then my brain just like doesn't work and uh we've just had to get like ordering food like every single night so i have my fucking instacart open in the other window and i'm going to order it tonight but it has been okay it's been rough and i've also just uh you know been able to see the extreme stubbornness and like ego that comes along with

like a white straight man needing to ask for help and I'm like letting him try obviously I don't want to like mommy him or like have him not feel like he has like agency or independence and doing stuff but there are some things that I'm like let's like you can do it yourself but if you're gonna like go put your pants on in the morning because he has this fat cast like you're gonna go put your pants on in the morning sit down and do it like from the bed don't hobble around on one foot and like sway side to side yeah and then he's like holding the arm up and i'm just like no you're gonna fall and eat shit and like that's not okay yeah and uh he's also dealing with health insurance stuff now similar issues and then he was like saying he's like it's not even as bad

as your stuff and i'm just like so frustrated so that's been the deal thankfully we have like people who can like take him to like work and stuff when he like sprung it on me this morning he was like hey can you take me to work in 15 minutes and i was like i just took my adderall and i drank my coffee like i will shit myself if i drive you to work and it was like he's like well okay what i'm like you need to get a ride with somebody else like you gotta let me prepare ahead of time so i can wake up early because like i'll shit myself on the drive over and that's not really how i want to start my day no so that has been my current state that's that's been my life can't to hear his perspective oh yeah it's not good so we should read the results from last week

all right so the first thing is but am i wrong and the thing that i said was showing other people's dating profiles on social media who was wrong 14 said me 86 said people who showed them there was a lot of people who like either felt strongly uh on your side or the people who were like i'm with megan we're like i don't like morally think that it's like a morally sound thing but like my pettiness is like fuck these men but i would yeah hate if they did it to women okay next up we have me versus uh saying that your kink is dating someone that looks like a republican slash code switching six percent said me and then 94 of people said people who say this shit can i read a message that somebody said yeah and i would like to have a crack at answering before you do

OK, the gist of this person's message was they compared it to when you said that your type was a former frat boy or president of a frat that. Oh, chosen vagina. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And the difference between the two. There's a lot of differences, but one is that what Megan was saying is a very specific description of mods. like it's not a generalized physical description it is a very specific description and so it's not the same thing and then they also like asked us to talk about like our types in a way that like you know like when we discuss our types there's just like ways that they can come off in a negative way and I'm just like it's not the same because like when I talk about my type I'm not talking about a physical trait I'm talking about things that

I'm attracted to to them and yes my type is people that I find attractive but that doesn't mean that other people find attractive it's not again not the same yeah no I read that message too and it was one of the things about being like someone saying that like being a truck like a preference for masculine men but like masculinity is a construct like what is masculinity and also there's a large difference between me saying that my type is like a former frat but like literally me describing moths but also that's not statistically not like a very clearly a racial preference because also racial preferences are for white people if you're a white person with a racial preference that's just called racism yes and if you said that like without even talking

about Mott's even though I knew that you were specifically talking about Mott's I wouldn't have like automatically gone to white person and so like when you say Republican that is such a broad that's not a specific thing it's very broad and she showed her white boyfriend she showed her white boyfriend and again you wouldn't have said that was your type before you dated mott no you were just making a specific observation of who you exactly ended up with yeah and also like there is a very large difference between hearing someone say something and attributing that to being like oh my mind goes to that is something that is inherently masculine versus something that's more feminine versus someone specifically saying, I don't like feminine men. I like my men masculine.

That one of those things is something that you are inferring based on your own implications or your own feelings towards a statement. The other is like a literal, just like statement statement. I think like when you get into like preferences based on like my preferences of someone who I date like preferences are you know what like i prefer sweet potato fries but regular fries are also great like i really like them but like oh i'd prefer to have this shirt in blue but it's also really cute and pink like it's not like uh i refuse to do it like i'm cutting out and it's not like an intolerance like i'm like i can't have dairy i'm not going to have dairy like a preference is something that is just a you'd prefer that one thing over the other thing and

I also just think that like someone's dating preferences are, yes, like a very like personal kind of like thing. But when you show your white boyfriend who has no defining characteristics that like make him look like, quote unquote, a Republican, other than the fact that he is a white guy, like you can't be shocked when like that gets backfire. Right. All right. Next one. writer number one versus her sister who makes digs at her. Two percent said the writer. Ninety eight percent said her sister. You know, that's always the ones that I'm like, that seems maybe an accident. But who knows for the other people? Then we have writer number two versus their boyfriend who wanted to hang out on their quote unquote anniversary. Eighty seven percent said

their boyfriend. Thirteen percent said the writer. And an update. The writer and the boyfriend very quickly broke up afterwards oh i missed that did they just send that to you i think it was on the podcast or maybe it wasn't i think we yeah that makes sense to me yeah the next one writer number three versus their friend who downplays her giving up smoking two percent said the writer and 98 percent said their friend was wrong anyone who thinks the writer is wrong that feels like a what the fuck okay then we have writer number four versus their anti-vax roommate one percent said the writer was wrong 99% said the roommate so only eight people voted for that and I I'm assuming some of them were wrong like said they voted wrong a couple of these I just always go

immediately to um anyone who's blonde who voted for it and I'm like let's see didn't get a message didn't see that you said you did it wrong then my wrong of the week was people hating on Julia Fox 8% said Julia Fox 92% said everyone else and there was some again like that kind of interesting discourse of some people who are like she's taking advantage of like a mentally ill man and again the thing I will say that like I think that unless you are his clinician and his psychiatrist or you are someone who struggle you are someone with his exact diagnosed disorders or mental issues if you are not like that just be very careful saying things like that because it can imply that people who are not mentally well aren't deserving of love or like can't find people and

anyone who dates them is like taking advantage of that because if he is bipolar which i don't know if he's like he said that it's been diagnosed yeah and he he talks about like being on his meds and being off his meds and how things are different yeah that like even when someone is like in a low point of their bipolar whether that's like depressive or manic that like making sure that we still treat those people with humanity and his issues as like shit that he said and like all like that kind of stuff separating that from making broad statements about like bipolar disorder or people with mental health issues because like you know you we all know somebody like that even if you don't personally know that they've been diagnosed with that kind of stuff but yeah i

started watching her instagram stories and i'm just like trying i'm just like so fascinated just fascinated i am not and don't like her it's valid and i will stand by that stand by it stand by it all right wrong of the week christian karens and kevins who's wrong karens and kevins with a little cross and then that was 97 and then uh three percent says i stand toxic religion some people said they voted wrong and then some people didn't so take that for what it is okay so yeah if you want again vote for this coming episode head on over to our instagram it is linked in the show notes and you can vote after the show is up hopefully with the next day but you know it'll be before the next show and then go follow us while you're there because i have spent a lot of

time making it cute yeah it looked great so my but am i wrong it's a bold statement i'm just gonna say it okay the upper middle class might be worse than the upper class and i'm not talking about billionaires and all of that sort of stuff but i have gotten into it with the upper middle class on tiktok because i stitched a video of someone saying don't say these things if you like basically just like things that people say that out them as having grown up wealthy if they're like trying to hide it and this person like wasn't like giving tips on like how to hide like it was again like the narrative of class like income differences in childhood and things you associate with wealth growing up and the amount of people who decided to tell me that i

grew up in poverty and on food stamps which i didn't and that all the things that i were describing were just like middle class things which then i had to explain to them i was like well no i mean if we're talking like i don't ever associate like my childhood upbringing with being low income because it is so specific to where i grew up yeah and also low income middle class the wealthy it also differs between like what region you're in as 100 the cost of living there are other things that factor in so I don't relate to people who grew up low income in other areas like that's I don't associate myself with growing up low income because like the things that are synonymous with growing up low income in most other places are like not my experience

at all and as far as I know we were never on like states like like government support or anything like that it's just mostly based on like in marin like if you are making under i posted like the tiktok showing the screenshot but like if for like a family of three if you're making under like 115 000 a year you're low income and that is middle class and like pretty much like right in the middle towards the upper end of middle class most other places but for like the national average of middle class it starts at about and again these are all like speculated numbers because it really truly depends like you said on the cost of living where you are and like your state and how much they pay for those jobs there and all of that like it's so much more

specific state to state but even specifically city to city and county to county but the amount of people who like refuse to align themselves with being upper class or rich or wealthy and again like i didn't say i'm gonna come eu i'm not comparing you to jeff bezos like i've seen your instagram profile like i know you're not jeff bezos like come on like we all we all know that those billionaires make up such a small there's so few of them and they make up like yes they dominate all of that shit but like people fall below that who are still very very well off and rich and that they were like no no it's middle class you were just poor and I could be like well no I mean like if we're going on like you know the national average like I grew up middle class

they're like no no it's low middle class then and so you just need to consider yourself like low income and low class and i was like well let's low class is not the synonym for that i was like but if you're on the very opposite end of that why are you not then being like you have to be associated with like rich and upper class and like recognize that that you align with that if not more than like middle class and it was like no no no no and so it's this like extreme aversion that people are even arguing about this is ridiculous and it just shows just how much people don't understand how the economy works how money works it's just ridiculous well and it's something that it's like i totally understand that everyone who's not a billionaire needs to

come together and like fucking take down those massive corporate i understand that like i'm very aligned with that but when you want to other yourselves from these very very rich people while simultaneously othering yourselves from people who you're saying are like the same income class as you and you're saying all that and you're saying like no no that's poor that's absolute poverty without addressing the fact that i'm like then the people who grew up in poverty come on like there is like if you want to talk about like the middle class is like fully dying but specifically someone even said like the the thing that was like driving me crazy is they were like there's no difference like if you're making less than 350 000 a year like we're all the same until

like you start making a million dollars a year. And truly the difference between making say a family of three, the difference in a family of three making $38,000 a year and a family of three making $100,000 a year, that is a bigger life change than you making $100,000 a year to making a million dollars a year. Like with that, you're taking away things, you're taking away like necessary living expenses and like life things. And then you're just adding, like when you get richer. You are just adding to your already existing experience. But like, no, just just no. I mean, but that's like part of the rhetoric that a lot of politicians who make this a political thing want you to believe like those people that consider themselves. I don't know.

It's not as bad as it was, I'd say, like in the 90s, but fiscal Republicans, because then when you say things like tax the rich, people think that they're talking about these people that are making, you know, what's considered, you know, like $150,000 when it's not at all. That's not what tax the rich means. And that's part of the confusion, which, again, words matter. And we're not being educated on these things for a reason. Yeah. And I think people feel there is some weird chip on their shoulder for these people who grew up financially more privileged than other people. but I think it goes to the difference of having everything that you needed but wanting things and like wanting to have these other things so that feels like that's like frustrating and doesn't

feel attainable and like you want that and you're like I want what they have like fuck that versus people who weren't getting all of their basic needs met and who like needed things and like that is like a difference in that and that like once everybody's needs are met like that's the goal like that's the absolute goal but like when we can all think that these corporations everything is evil like we all do like yes tax the rich all of that shit but if you cannot like address your own financial privilege in the context of how many americans are living underneath like below the poverty line and being like well no i it's only it's the only people that matter are these like very very very rich people yes in the context of like the economy and like how to fix that 100

100%. But in like social conversations, when you compare your life and say we're the same to somebody who grew up below the poverty line, like just acknowledge the privilege, like just acknowledge and like the difference of it. It just opens your eyes so much to also like how long it takes for you to recognize that, like how long it takes for you to meet people who challenge your idea of what you thought you grew up as like income wise growing up and like these things that were like very realistic to other people that felt so far-fetched like but it's just it's okay like nobody's mad at you that your parents made money like it's fine like don't worry you're not a victim here and it just felt like the upper middle class felt so personally

attacked and victimized it's ridiculous people who grew up like with money they're like yeah no my family had money like yeah we were good but the upper middle class like no no we were just like we're comfortable you were really poor and i'm like no okay i don't understand these people i don't i don't either there's nothing wrong with growing up upper middle class yeah there's nothing wrong i mean i grew up like that and i don't have that same mentality like i know what my privilege was and i understand that there are different you know economic situations that people are in and we can't compare these things and anytime anyone just like gets so upset about it i'm like you've never met somebody who wasn't in your economic

bracket or above you like you've never interacted with anyone else on this level because like it's just a culture shock and it like yeah people get like so defensive of it so what is what is your but am i wrong my but am i wrong it's very light-hearted but valentine's day from when this is airing it would have happened a couple days ago but like the commercial commercialization of it I like Valentine's Day as a holiday even though it does pull away from like one of the biggest holidays of the year my birthday and I think it's you know celebrating love I think that's beautiful and it's a color scheme that we both love yes also to go on top of that like I in school like i didn't like buying valentine's day cards i'd make personal handwritten cards for

everyone in my class like people love them and i just feel like we should be you know embracing the love and not the commercialization of it mainly build a bear i'm looking at you they have launched just in time for valentine's day after dark series of like horny teddy bears what the fuck the ad for it is this like lion that's lying on his side and he has like a perfectly trimmed mane into a heart and he's wearing a little silk robe on top of a fluffy rug with a rose in front of it and also a couple flutes of champagne in front of a fire and so they're like stuffed animals aren't just for kids and so like you can go into build a bear after dark build your own little stuffed animal that is i guess a little bit sexy i just want to say

that this line that's like a crisp fade on the lion's name yeah that's crispy yeah like they're trying to make the lion look sexy i am so uncomfortable i might cry this is so funny to me because you know that was half of my like what my like caption when i did that tiktok about like the like wealth and stuff was like that it was like damn you got that build a bear money and like that's like build a bear is like that was like one of the conversations of it so it is so perfect like what fuck you can get a bear and have it like have like little heart boxers on you can get like really corny ones that have a t-shirt that says it's like wine o'clock somewhere there's more there's like one that has this little doggy that has silk pajamas on

with fuzzy slippers and there's hearts on pajamas and they're drinking like a mixed berry seltzer so like they're really they're really really leaning into like millennials but it just comes out and by me saying this i will sound choogy it's very choogy i just want to know what like data testing they did to be like this is for our audience like what is like the demo for this i'm sorry this one has to be my favorite one i'm saving this photo i will post this to our instagram is it the bear with the heart around it no it is the bear wearing sunglasses and a t-shirt that says i want to take you out but they're like tilting the sunglasses down their nose like they're joey tribbiani and they're hitting on you gosh like that bear's a fuck boy there's one that

has a bear that has like you know the the candy heart yeah boxes of chocolate it has like a big cut out that the bear's head is sticking out of and then he's got on like little black tight boxers and holding roses wow this is this is wild yeah so i mean and there's been weird like valentine's day promos in the past from other companies like one year it was like the anniversary of the big mac and they gave out a 18 karat gold big mac ring i'm floored that people do that stuff i know burger king had a few years ago had like an adult meal as opposed to a kid's meal and it came with you know one of those like little head massager things uh face masks to cover your eyes and then one of those little tickler things for your body it looks like a duster oh my god yeah i'm sorry i

just the capitalization and girl bossness of like sex like stop like it's just so weird and also valentine's day is so like in the mainstream of that stuff is so targeted towards like old married couples like all the commercials like an old man buying his wife like a heart necklace like every kiss begins with no one wants nobody wants it i will also never understand the people who choose to like go out to dinner on valentine's day and do things like that because it's just like we're service it's so crowded so busy like i don't even know what month tonight like i think we've done we did like no i think it was of our anniversary like i don't think we've ever done like a valentine's day valentine's day thing like yeah sometimes we'll get each other gifts but like

we'll usually just like order take out that like fun take out or like and watch a movie but it is a scam like it's such a scam and like i love presents like i'm all about presents yeah but like you're not gonna catch me in a fucking crowded restaurant the only two people that i believe have made it work are feeling clear on modern family on every valentine's day episode they'd go dressed as clive and i forgot what her name was pretending to be other people picking each other up i love those episodes yeah it's such a good show everybody else watching euphoria i was talking about how good modern family hey i know my limits i won't watch euphoria no no no no though i'm sure it's wonderful okay so we're gonna now head on over to reading some

of your submissions for but are you wrong so if you want to send us one email us at but am i wrong pod at gmail.com keep it under 300 words and keep it all anonymous if you need to use names of people do some pseudonyms let us know your ages uh your pronouns if that is something you would like to let us know and enough info that's it that's it okay take it away hi megan and melissa for over two years i've been trying to get a puppy the breeder i've been in contact with reached out after new year's and said that they had one pup available because the person he was meant to go home with could not take him anymore awesome right fast forward to this weekend the breeder posts my pup's pictures on her instagram feed and tags me the person who

was originally going to take him home dms me telling me that they were meant to take him home with his sister, but due to housing issues, they were only able to bring one pup home. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I said, I'm sorry that you couldn't bring them both home, but know he's safe here, because what did they want me to say? They asked to stay in touch, and I said yes, because again, what is it they want from me? For a week now, every time I post a picture of him on my story, they swipe up with a little heart eyes emoji or some comment about him. Am I wrong for feeling weird that they're obsessing over my dog and what could have been for them? Am I an asshole for wanting to block them from seeing my stories p.s yes i attached a pup pic i'm not evil here's

my handsome boy winston i think this is weird i am so freaked out about this you're too nice because i would have not given them like i would have just blocked i would have never responded yeah yeah this is weird i mean i i don't think you're wrong at all i think it's odd yeah it's should i say it are you gonna say adopt don't shop yep here's the thing now unless you have like an allergy or something and yeah i don't know her situation so i won't say yeah it's also sometimes people with different like emotional support you know i mean so like it can be a hard thing so i feel like we should mention so people do not get upset there are people who go through breeders that is a thing something that they need to do and then there are people who go through

breeders who is that is not something that they need to do so this is not a pro dog breeding thing at all just like want to say that so there are lots of dogs in shelters who need homes so nobody come for us yeah but yeah i think this is weird very weird i would block them from seeing your story yeah i would block them and they and you shouldn't feel sorry for getting the dog that you were signed up to get and they shouldn't have gone into it with the assumption that like what do they expect to be like oh okay come get my dog no fuck you yeah and it's like a housing issue so i'm like there wasn't room seemingly this is odd okay yeah all right so here's the next one i'm having some internal conflict about not having a friend be in my bridal party and i'm looking for

reassurance. I'm a 30-year-old female, she, her, and my friend Amy involved is also 30-year-old female, she, her. For some backstory, Amy and I were in our friend's wedding last year. It was a destination wedding. There was a bachelorette party and we did have to help plan the bridal shower. Myself and two other bridesmaids took charge in planning everything, being very mindful of everyone's budget and splitting responsibilities evenly amongst the group. Amy was pretty awful with each step of wedding planning process. And since we're close friends, she would complain to me about it, gave me a really hard time about each event. And at one point, she even told the bride she wasn't going to the wedding the week of the wedding. This year, I'm getting married. Even

though our friend's wedding has come and gone and Amy has since apologized for her actions I'm not including her in my bridal party because I don't want her to give the other girls a hard time when the rest of the group is so laid back. I have already sent out the bridesmaids proposals and I'm starting to feel stressed and guilty for not including her because we are genuinely close friends. Am I wrong for assuming she would act the same way for my wedding as she did for our friend's wedding and am i crazy for feeling guilty i think you made the right fucking call i mean i don't think you're wrong at all if that is like the only bridal party that you've ever been in with her then a hundred percent of the time she did that so like i don't know here's the other

thing though that like clearly she didn't like being a bridesmaid and like my thought process is when it comes to like bridesmaids and all of that shit that like if you are the bride you get to call the shots of like what you want to do and like as somebody who has like been to so many weddings like I'm good like I don't need to be a bridesmaid I think you're wrong and here's why you guys are close friends and you said that she's apologized for the way that she acted did you have a conversation with her before you sent out the proposals and say hey I'm on a fence about because you are close friends i'm on a fence about having you be part of my bridal shower because of the way you acted with our friend and i know that you apologize can i have your word that

you won't act the same way in my bridal party yeah that's the mature thing to do yeah i don't disagree with that i think that like yeah if if she did this without like any sort of heads up i'm hoping that you thought through for the consequence of that because like i mean you're still inviting her to your wedding right yeah because i feel like that's just gonna make things worse if she is expecting to be part of your bridal party she's your close friend and then she just gets this invitation with no bridesmaid thing attached to it i don't know i also kind of feel like and maybe i'm just like not traditional in this sense this kind of sense but like i don't know that i would ever have bridesmaids and like if i did have bridesmaids the only thing i would

want to do maybe would be like a bachelorette party and like i wouldn't expect them to plan and yeah i've been in wedding parties where i wasn't part of the planning at all like i've just showed up like to the bachelorette stuff and then to the wedding yeah and like the planning wasn't part of the duties as a bridesmaid because i think that like there is a lot of it's kind of hard to say no to being a bridesmaid like people feel like an obligation and then when that comes along with like responsibilities that are not just financial responsibilities of like going to the bachelor party but like time stuff too and like planning and doing all of that that I think can just be kind of hard to like ask of people and then people I think it's kind of inevitable that

someone's going to disappoint you in that sense because like it's just a very hard place to be in to say no to something and then also like it also sucks to the bride or the rest of the bridal party if you don't like step up and do what's expected of you but also like it's hard to kind of say no at the start of all of it so like i mean obviously we're not giving you advice here but like i think that like the solution would be to like cut her out of like any of the planning stuff that like she was a terror in and have her still come to the bachelorette party and like what right whatever bridal shower but also like only a couple people from what it sounds like plan said things of the it's not like every single bachelorette I mean every single person in the bridal party is planning

everything yeah you just have like the appointed people some I feel like if you're a bridesmaid well depending on your budget or whatever like I don't think you should expect them to really do anything except for be there to support you and that's it yeah that's truly it no i agree it's just a weird weird weird thing it's asking people to spend most of time their own money on something that for your wedding that you're already spending a ton of money on but like you're getting married like that's what you're getting out of it they're just there to like be a supportive friend but like there's a way to be a supportive friend that like doesn't involve all that extra cost yeah it's weird the one thing i will still never understand

is the bachelorette parties where everybody's like the bride's not paying we're all covering like paying for the bride and all that shit that is one that like i told sydney i was like if you do that i will literally like i will just no like that's not happening like as your best friend like you cannot and she was like no i would never do that but it's just that's hard okay we're gonna take a quick break and then we will be back Okay, we are back from the break, and we're getting to the rest of the episode. Hi, Megan and Melissa. I'm an 18-year-old female, she, her, and a senior in high school. There is a guy, he, him, in one of my classes who, in general, is pretty unlikable. In particular,

has very outspoken on his Instagram about being anti-vax slash mask. Just so you know, I have chosen not to follow him because of this. I know all of this information because he Snapchats one of my friends and regularly overshares. Recently, his whole family got COVID, and he tested positive but still came to school. His reasoning for still coming was because he was not quote-unquote contagious anymore. While not confirmed, four people in my class had got COVID right after him, including one of my friends, so I'm pretty sure he exposed everyone, which really pissed me off. His mom, who was also unvaccinated, got really, really sick and ended up having to be hospitalized for two to three weeks before passing away. Of course, I felt bad

that his mom died, but I can't help feeling frustrated because this was completely preventable. When our teacher told us his mom passed away due to COVID, she had to sign a card for when he returns to school. I was polite and signed my name but did not write any message because I truly had nothing to say. I generally try to avoid this person so we are not friends, and I am very liberal and pro-vaccine. So yeah, I didn't write, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, or I'm here if you need anything, like others. When class was over, I found out that I was the only one who didn't write a nice note along with my signature. By the way, I put my name right by a note my friend wrote just so it wasn't super obviously standing alone. Should I feel bad for not being more heartfelt? Am I wrong for not sympathizing to the death of

an anti-vaxxer? This is an intense one and my feelings might surprise you as someone who's like very staunchly like pro-vaccine, pro-mask, all of that. Not having compassion for people who die regardless of if the choices that they made were reckless or potentially caused them to get there is not helping anyone. And I think that as sad as it is, a lot of people don't understand things until it happens to them and their family. And I think that losing someone you love really sucks. While yes, it feels very preventable, I would be more upset about him coming to school when he had still potentially had been contagious versus mom was unvaccinated yes we also you also don't know if she had any pre-existing conditions or anything like that

or it was purely just because she wasn't vaccinated but I understand being like really really frustrated that that is like happened to like that this again feels like a very preventable thing that has happened and not having empathy or sympathy for that but i will also say that like you are so young he is so young you are so indoctrinated by your parents at that age that you most of the time like people who grow up in like very conservative households if they become liberal later on it's because they're college and it's because they got out of that kind of bubble i don't think you're wrong for not writing something more heartfelt because i don't think you should write something that you don't believe and it wasn't sincere but i think the not

sympathizing to the death of someone who was an anti-vaxxer i think that there's such a cause and effect chain reaction with covid and like getting other people sick and all of that that like i i think that if you can like look in yourself internally and recognize that like you can still be incredibly like pro-vaccine and be very against people who are anti-vax and anti-mask and you can be like very frustrated and upset with that but I think if we get to be really callous about like death and people dying and like those people have family members they have all of that stuff I just think that that gets into a really negative mindset that like is just not something I think any of us really want to think and believe and feel about other people I think that the writer

it's not just about that his mom died because she did mention all the other things about him coming to class and then people getting covet after i think she doesn't have sympathy towards him but not specifically towards like the mom dying that's the way that i interpret it she's just like i don't have sympathy towards him because he came to class maybe if he didn't come to class then she would have gave something that was more heartfelt because what she's writing on the card is for the guy that came to class not something attached to his mom no i fully agree i think it is because of the last thing am i am i wrong for not sympathizing to the death of an anti-vaxxer i think that you are convoluting your personal feelings for him as an overarching kind of

thing of this anti-vaxxer person died or whatever but like i think that like that's parts that's like a very sad thing that you can take out and just be like i fucking hate this kid for coming to school when he had covid and like being reckless and being an idiot and all of that but the death thing like that's sad and that sucks that someone died and like they didn't have to die but it is what it is it is what it is but also it's frustrating because like i read this thread today on Twitter by this woman that she has cancer and it's spread all around her body and it could have been preventable but she couldn't get into the doctor early enough for to get diagnosed because of how many people are in the hospital most of them being unvaccinated

and she's going to die within the next couple years. Yeah it is so hard and like I personally believe that people who are anti-vax and have not gotten vaccinated because they are like staunch anti-vaxxers anti-maskers like i don't believe that they should have priority in a hospital over somebody else that's how i feel and like i would feel exponentially worse for somebody whose parent died who was vaccinated if this was somebody else but i think that like it because you don't like someone and because there is some onus of them their own personal thing that got them to where they are it's not the same level that I feel but like I think when we can feel like nothing when someone dies at all I just think that that's like it can acknowledge that like that really like

that sucks for him but I also at the same time I'm like I don't think you need to say I'm here for you blah blah blah like I don't think you're wrong at all for not saying any of that stuff on the card and i just think that like people dying it sucks yeah people dying sucks but also because it's happening so much more frequently there's a burnout that is also part of that that is messing with our mental health yeah and so i think that's something we have to acknowledge too yeah no it's it's hard to repeatedly see every single death and see every single number statistic like that as like the same impact because that's emotionally and mentally very overwhelming and i think all of our brains are going into like traumatic survival mode that

like if you think about that stuff for too long but it sucks yeah it sucks i think signing the cart was enough and if you didn't feel anything else that you needed to say then cool fully agree fully fully agree you shouldn't have to lie no and yeah when someone you dislike when something bad happens to them the empathy we feel is no matter what going to be affected by how we feel about that person like if this was your best friend's parent you would feel something much different and that doesn't like make you a bad person at all i don't necessarily think that you are you her asking am i wrong for not sympathizing to the death of an anti-vaxxer i don't really think that's what you're doing i think it's because you don't like him and i think it's

Like all of these other factors involved in that, you know? Yep. Okay. All right. My pronouns are she, her, and I am 22 years old. The boy I'm talking about is 23. Pronouns he, him. I have known him for about six years.

We went to the same middle school, but then I moved away and we kept lightly in touch through social media. I moved back home after graduation and now he was in the same city as me. We decided to meet up. we connected really well and ended up seeing each other often. We both developed feelings for each other. We communicated openly. He was vocal about how he felt about me. We had a lot of similar interests. This was one of the healthiest boy situations I had been in in a while. While in all caps. However, flash forward. He is moving to another town. We decided to give long distance a

shot. The city he is moving to is only three hours away so we can see each other often. But then we had sex and it was bad. We waited to have sex because he was nervous. Somewhere I think he was intimidated by the fact that I had more sexual partners than him. Either way, it was super awkward and he only lasted like 10 seconds. We talked about it. I reassured him I was willing to try again. Practice makes perfect. But when I asked if we could try again, he said, but do we have to? Sir, we don't have to do anything, but don't you want to? Turns out he doesn't. He is sexually attracted to me, but is too scared of being bad again. Am I wrong for wanting to end things because he did not want to have sex with me again until the next time he is in town? It makes

me sad but being turned down makes me feel unwanted oh also the dick smelled awful i just gagged oof oof no you are not wrong at all at all ew i'm nauseous i don't like that she wanted to try again so it couldn't smoke that bad or maybe she's just really horny get a vibrator yeah you're down bad if you're settling for some smelly dick some cheese dick like you're down bad like you need some electronic love her problem is like she's she feels like mentally that it's like the best relationship that she's been in before but like physically it's terrible okay all that tells me is that you just have not been in any good relationships and this is another one of them it's just is a different shade of it a different flavor yeah

and an awful smelling flavor tasting flavor i don't know what you did if sex is very important to you and this is a deal breaker then it's a deal breaker you just have to deal with it and move on yeah like sexual compatibility like does not make you an asshole and i think because um so often in like cishet relationships there's like this narrative of like men being fuckboys and like hurting like women using women for sex and like doing all of that kind of stuff that like women tend to be like hyper aware and like hyper accommodating and over accommodating for their own sexual needs and desires and there is a very large difference between like you're not using this man for sex and never calling him back like ending it something with someone because

after having sex and it like you know not lasting them not wanting to have sex like again and like not being into it and like making you not feel like that's very okay and very valid yeah because there's other sexual things you can do that a penis is not involved and it's fine to not want to be someone's like to be like their teacher like you're allowed to like only want to have sex with people who have like had sex before and like if you don't want to have the learning curve of bad sex to good sex like you don't have to yeah but she was willing to like she wanted to but it's him so if he doesn't want to have sex and you want to have sex and that means you're not sexually compatible so it sounds like a friend yeah you can have the intimate relationship that's

only verbal from three hours away be friends yeah just be friends okay now on to but are they wrong this is where we're going to talk about current events people in the media or broad range concepts things that we're going to nominate the rachel of the week who's the worst go for it okay so my but are they wrong rachel of the week is a trend that i've seen constantly on social media and there was one specific tiktok that i saved which remind me to send to you so we can include it in the description down below and it's about the filming of unsheltered people on social media and even just the narrative of how we talk about unsheltered people in general i feel like it is one of the last groups that has received no understanding or empathy from gen z and like

the liberal, very progressive people that it feels like is something that is still okay to use as a punchline or as something funny. And I see these people posting these videos of like unsheltered people in like New York, like dancing in a fountain or doing something. And it's like, I want whatever drugs they're on. And then you scroll back to their profile and they're like talking about like, like harm reduction and like how like the opioid and all of this stuff that there's this massive disconnect there and with the unsheltered population growing exponentially everywhere and especially in like very in cities it is happening more and more and more that it is like this conveying of something funny and or as something to like be shown as a punchline and or

as a I'm gonna film this person and say that I pity them like that's like the spectrum of it And it makes me so upset. And I just like, I hate that we see people like posting videos of them like at a gas station and it's someone who is clearly struggling with mental illness. And the people who are posting these videos are like all about mental health awareness or like all about harm reduction, all about like understanding like how addiction harms families and aren't recognizing that like that is what this is. treating it as if that is like an exception to your empathy and your rule and as if that like living in an area with homeless people is harder for you than it is for them and it just makes me so mad because all of us are closer to being that person and being unsheltered than we are to being Jeff Bezos like we all are like I think it's like the average American is like doesn't have the financial needs if like a stuff like if there was a massive emergency they don't have a safety net for that and like the vast majority of people who are unsheltered are dealing with mental health

issues they are dealing with PTSD they are veterans and or they are people struggling with drugs or alcohol or anything like that and those people all mean something to someone and it just feels like we're treating them like animals that you're gonna film you feeding that like it's like these are humans and there's no dignity there and it just makes me so angry every time i see it and anytime i hear people complain about the fact that there are people who are unsheltered like Do you not fucking hear yourself when you in a home are complaining about people who are unsheltered? Like, it's just the disconnect is so like it just kills me. And these are the same people who like vouch for social programs and like all of this kind of stuff.

But like when it comes to like the actual people who are unsheltered, like there is no empathy there. I hate it. And the TikTok is basically about like why she always gives money to unsheltered people. and it's because her dad was unsheltered like throughout on and off throughout her life and like how she's like, I don't care what they spend the money on. I have no, I don't care at all.

All I know is like, I hope that somebody like treated my dad well. Like I hope that like, and that just like breaks my heart and it just makes me so mad. Like so, so, so mad that people think that they're so much better than these other people. Like, and especially anytime I see it in San Francisco,

it makes me so mad because such a huge majority of unsheltered in San Francisco are like LGBTQ plus youth. Like those are kids. It fucking kills me. And if you find yourself complaining about homelessness and like things like that in unsheltered to like unsafety and like danger and all of that, like research, re-evaluate and like understand that like those are those are people who are like going through shit. And like if you're not doing anything to help them, like don't harm them. Like don't say that shit. It pisses me off. Yeah, me too. Me too. All right. Mine is kind of like breaking news is happening actively. I think it kind of broke yesterday. But this came from a thread that I saw by Eli Ehrlich. You can go read the full thing on Twitter. It's E-L-I-E-R-L-I-C-K. That's her handle.

so matt walsh do you know who that is matt walsh that sounds familiar he's one of ben shapiro's like homeboys same vibe oh my god i panicked there are two people named matt walsh okay when i was thinking of it he played mike in veep and i was like what oh okay i see now which i also just had on a podcast like that just i just got panicked i was like okay yes not not the same guy So he has been using a fake film crew and reaching out to trans people saying that he's making it. Well, it actually isn't him. It's he's using this woman to do it, who said that she just graduated from film school and she's making a documentary where she says, but she wants to learn more about trans people. And so through that woman, he's this is his fake film crew. He's reaching out and he's actually making like a anti-trans documentary and trying to trick trans people into being in it. So Eli, she got this email from something called the Gender Unity Project a few weeks ago.

And in this email, they said that like they used a bunch of like notary trans people and saying that they were in the documentary. And Eli talked to the producer whose name was given as McKenna Lynn Waters, which, OK, sounds like a fake name. And she seemed like she was like very well-meaning and she claimed that the documentary was self-funded, which was Eli's first red flag. And then she was like, maybe she just came from a lot of money. But then like they offered to fly Eli to Arizona and then stopped responding when Eli said that they wouldn't go. And then they're finally like, I'll come. We'll bring you to Nashville. And that's actually where Matt lives.

And it's just this whole thread where they've been just trying to trick trans people to be in this documentary. And who knows how many people actually just like fell for it. And they have this footage of them now at this point. And it's just a mess. It's a whole ass mess. Yeah. I mean, already the safety of trans people, then feeling the responsibility to be so hyper vigilant that you can't even trust that that someone is tricking you to them. Well, not to be dark, but like as horrible as that is, I hope everyone was like physically is physically safe. And like, but that's like terrifying. that's terrifying and you know that they're gonna twist whatever was said in the documentary the fake documentary i use documentary loosely and in quotes that they're gonna use it and twist

whatever was said for their own agenda yeah and not protect the identity of these people and essentially like send all of this information about them and vulnerable stuff to like a group of people who like could really put their lives in danger yeah god and so it actually turned out this mckenna waters without the lynn you couldn't find anything with the lynn but when you took it out turns out that she is actually like an associate producer on matt walsh's show and so it's all fake it's meant to dehumanize people yeah someone needs to pull like the ultimate heist and steal all that fucking footage like fuck that wow dude also like obviously like this is like a very dangerous very serious thing and like i can't think of a better word but like what

a fucking loser like that's so lame like what is fucking like why do you give a shit about these other like you are you that bored like the fuck oh fucking losers okay well that is it for our episode right that's all we do yes yeah that is all we do we hope you all enjoyed again if you want to go vote head on over to our instagram stories and if you want to send us in uh an email and let us know something that's happened in your life recently, maybe in the past, something that's weighing on you that you want to know if you were the hero or the villain, send it over to bettamywrongpod at gmail.com

and we will tell you if you were wrong or if you were not wrong. And you get to wear like the little angel halo. What do you think Kylie Jenner named her baby? Didn't know she had a baby. She had a baby. I saw this on, I don't know, someone's Instagram story. I saw the other one's name, Sunny. Stormy.

I thought Sunny would be a funny name with it, but there was this tiktok that went viral that someone said she named the baby valentine okay that's probably not true that is probably not true would you name your child valentine no mainly because there's a character on general hospital whose name is valentine well his name is valentine but same thing i was gonna say if you wanted to keep up with the a theme though in your family it could be allentine it's just a baby named you're done you're done megan i'm ending this i'm hitting stop plus is having a baby named alan ah so funny okay well we will circle back next week and goodbye bye but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa

plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by melanie d watson