Don't Blame Me! - REPLAY: Threesome is Down to a Twosome

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

Original Air Date: Dec 16, 2021 Meghan and Melisa recount Meghan's engagement then discuss surprise proposals and apologies. They then give their thoughts if a listener was wrong in the following situations: Sister-in-law getting married close to your wedding day Not going to your friend's stage proposal on their 1-year wedding anniversary Getting left out of a throuple Being a "pushover" for forgiving your mom And for their "Rachel of The Week" they talk about the Democratic Party and Chanel Advent Calendar Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Listen to Don't Blame Me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-blame-me/id1223800566 Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello welcome back to the greatest podcast on fucking earth one of the greatest only tied with the other podcasts don't blame me well i guess you produce a lot of podcasts like we can't say Well, I can say it. That's fine. Hi, my name's Megan. Who are you? My name's Melissa Diamond Montz. Welcome to But Am I Wrong? This is our podcast where we read your email submissions. We talk about our own lives and we talk about pop culture, celebrity lives, current events. We decide who is the hero and the villain in these stories. And most often everyone casts me as a villain because then you get to vote over on our Instagram account and you will let us know who you think was the

hero and the villain in all these situations that's what this podcast is ethical shit talking so what's new with you i i know you're you're burning you're brimming no but but like you're brimming like why don't you go first okay sure um so i gotta gauge this weekend i don't know why i have to say it like i'm insufferable like i just am leaning into it a little too much but I got engaged this weekend I'm doing a whole story I am hoping by now that I've done like the engagement story time on my channel but I will give kind of like a podcast abridged version but yeah got engaged this weekend Melissa would helped out with all this which I knew I knew you were doing but I'm also just like really happy for you that I got engaged because

you were sitting on two bad boy pieces of information two engagements that you were like helping coordinate and you already are working so much and so stressed about that that I'm really happy for you that you're done yeah I mean I did call about 10 nail places oh I but I was trying to get it close to where the engagement place was going to be and you're like that's so random but then the morning of I was like are we even going to be able to get our nails done because someone was 30 minutes late coming to the car 15 22 okay it was technically 22 minutes late it was which is basically 30 minutes but yeah so I was like freaking out a little bit not because like I didn't want to get engaged at all but just because like I wanted it to be a surprise obviously

and like this was like the perfect level of surprise because if it was any more of a surprise i would have not gotten my nails done and i would have worn leggings and very minimal makeup because uh the cover story was that we were taking my now my future sister brother-in-law which is so weird i mean it's not that weird to say like it's i mean you've been calling the bambino your nephew the whole time so we always have so i was taking the cover stories that i was taking holiday like just pictures for them for people to give to the holidays which i've done like I did last year I do we did for Halloween like I always take pictures of him and then it was oh we're gonna have some pictures of like all of us in there like pictures of you

with him and pictures of Mott's with him so like we can give that to his parents and it was a wonderful cover story but the only reason why that cover story was working is because Mott's thought it out very well what is who am I not going to bail on a two-year-old who I love more than anything in the entire world and then how do you get me to wear makeup hanging out with him because I never do or a real outfit like I don't do that oh we're gonna take pictures and I was like okay wow that's a great call but yeah so naturally when I was getting ready because I only figured it out or I only like had an inkling like I never figured out fully less than like 12 hours before and so the morning of I I also got my rollers like stuck in my hair so I was like

sweating like hyperventilating on FaceTime with Sydney trying to rip my rollers out and you call and you're like hey I'm here and I was like okay just give me just give me two seconds so I'm just like ripping so like now I kind of have a little more layers in my hair because I ripped out so much hair but it went smoothly and um we got our nails done and I think the greatest part of it is that like people are like oh my gosh like that's like such a fresh manicure like how did Melissa convinced you. And I was like, no, this is the perks of me being simultaneously like so curious, but also like oblivious to shit that I was like, I texted you the day before being like, hey, do you want to go get your nails done? Like, do you want to get I need to get my nails done?

Do I go get your nails done with me next week? And you were like, OK, how about Thursday? And I was like, sure. Yeah, that works for me. Like mine are definitely grown out, could probably use it before Thursday, but like I can wait till Thursday. And then you wait like five minutes and then you're like shit I just I I there's no appointments and like I've got work and all that I did manage to find a place that can take us tomorrow at 9 a.m. but like I can cancel if that's too early like you played it really well and I was like wow like not even thinking of it so I was like you know that timing actually I've got it go take pictures at 11 30 so if we get them done at 9 like do you think like if it's I could potentially make it and you're like yeah I'll just

drop you right off yeah I was like okay which I felt like that might have I pushed it a little too far with that because you didn't because well it it made it kind of click for me later on but not because of that because when I was going to go take pictures we live really close to uh Matz's brother and when they asked to take pictures they were like we'll just pick you up and like because we're on the way and I hate driving and they all know how much I like constantly I will like walk over to like their house and like hang out with um my nephew and I will be like will you drive me home but like I'm like I don't like I hate driving at night especially I mean that wasn't during night so it didn't like when he had suggested like he'll pick me up or pick us up and then

Mott's like on our group thread was like actually I'm golfing I'll just meet you there he was like okay well I'll still pick you up and I was like oh great that's so convenient thank you and then like similarly when you were like I'll just like drop you off and I was like oh I love that everybody knows me and like knows I don't want to drive and then when I was laying in bed the night before or I think it was the next morning I was like working it out where I was like here's the thing like it like could just as equally be like oh no one wants you to have your car because like you're getting engaged and like this is gonna be a whole surprise but also I'm like they also all know I just like really fucking hate like driving and parking in LA when I'm in a time crunch

so that like did not push it the thing that gave me the indication which like if you didn't say this I would have come to the same conclusion three hours later and I would have been like way more stressed was that you were like I and we always do this where it was like if we're going somewhere you will be like I'm gonna wear a real outfit or I'm not gonna wear a real outfit I've done that with like Sydney and Jerry since we were like in middle school like I always coordinate with like what are we wearing with people and you were like I've got stuff to do after so like I'm gonna wear like a cute outfit and I was like oh I guess I also have to wear a cute outfit because I'm taking pictures afterwards and I like I'm looking off to the side because we're on FaceTime and then

I turned back and I was like or because I'm getting engaged tomorrow and your face unaffected you're like no I just have to wear an outfit tomorrow and then I hung up and I was like okay am I am I not so it was the perfect amount of knowing without like if I had known that and I mean hey full circle because we talked about this before when I kind of spoiled the original or Mott's fucking spoiled the original date he was going to do that if my cortisol levels were at where they were at on saturday morning for an entire fucking week i would have died like my heart would have stopped like that was just the right amount of time it was enough anxiety to get me to like actually wash my hair and like wash my bangs in the sink and like do my hair and

like put makeup on wear waterproof mascara like do all of that but it wasn't oh i have a week leading up to this and then like everything i do is like gonna stress me out so much so that's what it is it was so much fun though just being in on the secret but like knowing because even when we when i was waiting for you in the car mods was parked just down the street he was waiting for you oh yeah he told me that when you're picking up our place yeah yeah he was like i literally just sat in the car waiting and he was like the greatest thing that he said was like the best part of all of this is that like i never wear my glasses and i'm so blind he's like so like we can like you can miss a lot of shit yeah so i was texting him in the car i was like i don't know

if we're going to be able to get our nails done i'm kind of freaking out but then i had to like double down and make sure all my messages were making sure that he his texts weren't coming through on my phone and so i had changed his name on my phone because i even know my phone was out when we were driving because i need to use the navigation and stuff so it was just like wow you were on top of it you thought of everything so i'm really happy and if anyone's been following and hearing this like the only request i had when we got engaged was that if someone took pictures it was my friend taylor and if she wasn't available i didn't want anyone else to take pictures because it would have felt weird because like it's an intimate time yeah and it's like some

just random person and like she's taken she took our pot all of our podcast pictures she took my book photos and she also took photos for my movie and that's like how i met her so it's like these three massive milestones in my life like she's photographed them and they are in her words like career milestones for her that she was like i has she's always told me like if you want a photographer were there for your engagement like I will do anything to like be there like I would love that and like she also like knows mods and like so it just is so much you know like so much better because we took pictures afterwards too and that wouldn't have been fun if it was like some random yeah person you know yeah or if she was like you know she's like also recently engaged so like

yeah so like that was like a fun part of it too but yeah so that was my update the ring is stunning it is I'm it's a rock it's a fucking rock it's the rock it's Dwayne the Rock Johnson and I I'm a I literally stared at it and Mopsa like text me during the day being like how's my girl doing and then I just send like wellness check just pictures of the ring like we're so obnoxious but I love it yeah I saw somebody made a comment on your Instagram said was Melissa there because that is a diamond oh that's funny i love that i feel like that's both of our updates honestly because i i mean just from my perspective after it had happened the first time that it was spoiled yeah it was like okay this weekend and okay this weekend and then i was and then he's like okay

we've got it it's gonna be on the fourth and i put my calendar you know do not schedule anything and then I was trying to figure out like a good way to do the nails thing because I was trying to look but then I was like I can't spoil this but maybe it'll maybe it'll be okay but then you gave me the perfect yeah I just yeah fucking and also I think about it too with like the last time where every time I've brought it up and I thought that was going to be the clear indicator except Sydney was the one who when she got engaged she was like you need to because she was like just having fun with new nails because and that stuff because she picks her cuticles and she was telling me she's like you need to start getting like tips or acrylics or gelics or something so like to help

you stop picking your face which it definitely without a doubt does and she was like you need to start doing that and also you start doing it because like you should have your nails done all the time because like that's like why she half the reason she started getting hers done all the time was because she knew she was going to be getting engaged at some point and she was the one who was like do this and she like had no timing knowledge of when it was going to happen specifically but I was like good fucking job because I didn't get my nails done for like two and a half years straight yeah and then like within the last I don't know month I've been like okay I'm gonna start getting my nails done again yeah so Mats and I had a phone call we'd originally talked

about this your birthday weekend but oh yeah I did wonder if it was gonna happen like the two days that like I wondered was that weekend my birthday trip and then the only other time that I was like convinced and I like couldn't bring it up was our anniversary and it didn't no it was fun though like I liked that like there isn't really so much of that anymore when you're in like a long-term relationship like kind of similarly to like when you first start dating someone you're like oh my god I really hope he's gonna kiss me like you know I mean like I wonder if he's gonna feel me up like I really want you know what I mean like that kind of thing so it was nice and Sydney said the same thing with her that she was like it's kind of like cute because

you're like never ever do you feel that again and I'm like oh that's sweet so so I'm just really happy for you both we're stoked yeah i'm so happy especially since the first time i met i thought y'all were fucking and you weren't so you know i was able to spot the sparks early on imagine if like i think everybody who is like known us from work for pre-dating i don't think anyone is like surprised i think everyone's like yep this checks out would have been weirder if you never got together so it's exciting i'm happy yeah but if you want to see more just pictures of my ring or just like me really leaning into um being obnoxious and engaged my instagram is where it's at and hopefully by now youtube how long do you want the engagement to be well here's the piping hot tea i

don't know how if i what i would even want to do for a potential wedding weddings are so fucking expensive to me it seems like it would just make me like a ball of anxiety like i don't know i just feel like i would get really overwhelmed and i'm not someone who's comfortable spending like a huge amount of money on one day i also don't really want to spend like i don't know half as much if it's like let's say i'm not spending a hundred thousand dollars on a way and we're spending fifty thousand dollars trying to buy a house that's what i mean so it's like so we have to figure so we want to get a house first without a doubt and then i also have to get surgery i have to figure out how much insurance is going to cover of that and then see where financially like where

we would be how much we'd be comfortable spending and the only reason why people have these like massively large weddings is because their parents pay for it and I think that like we have that expectation of a lot of people and like I don't foresee two people who would be like paying for it themselves I just don't see us doing something really big unless like insurance covers my entire surgery and we get a house that like is decently under budget but I've always wanted kind of like a longer engagement i don't want to think about it like yeah just remember i am ordained so we could do it anytime i know that i know that is you just know that is in my mind but the amount of wedding planners have like already messaged me and i like i love the idea of a wedding like

i love attention like i love pretty things i love an aesthetic but everyone i know who has done it has said that like it's so stressful and i just don't want to have that on i don't even want to think about that until all my other financial decisions are makes sense and that is smart yeah very smart yeah because it's a lot of money to spend on one fucking day and then when you put wedding in front of anything the price just goes up also i've been to so many fucking weddings like i don't i think that i have a different perspective on it than a lot of people who like get engaged and have only been to like one or two weddings or haven't really been to a lot like i've been to a lot of nice weddings i've been to a lot of shitty weddings and none of them were

worth the amount of money they cost yeah yeah i mean as like a guest so we'll see should we go over and see what the results are from the last episode sure if you want to go and vote who you think was wrong keyword wrong on this episode head over to our instagram stories these episodes come out on thursday and i put up the voting on friday so you have time to listen to the episode and vote i think that the learning curve i think it's getting better don't do it under the influence like don't do it as fast as possible like pay attention just like you know real voting yeah exactly exactly but i will be even more specific as it goes on the first is me versus the media holding men accountable and the primary example was john legend legend and chrissy tigan i will

like her name as it is meant to be said and overwhelmingly majority said the media like 98.9 percent yeah let me it looks like 99 for me the next one is me versus rebecca at u.s bank and rebecca rebecca is the new rachel and um she is the one who slid into my dms after kyle right now saying that i should be shipped off to an island to starve and i messaged uh u.s bank asking is representative for your employees and overwhelmingly I would also say that the votes were for Rebecca was wrong definitely a little some in the middle some me which I think a lot of people said was an accident but yeah I'm keeping track of those of you who don't message and say you voted wrong who don't vote for me I'm petty just know it all right the next one was writer number one versus the mom

who wanted access to the writer's college information i'd say like 96 said the mom was wrong yeah i agree next we have writer number two versus the boyfriend and his mom who intruded on their anniversary and overwhelmingly from what i can see it's like 99 percent say the boyfriend and his mom as it should be anytime that people like don't vote that way i'm like are you a mother in law who would have done this and if we have people in that age bracket great i know i'm like thank you yeah the next one writer number three versus not telling the girlfriend of her quote unquote friend that he non-consensually touched her and this one yeah a little surprising for me 70 said the writer is not wrong for not telling her yeah so i mean i think this is there's this

like faux feminism kind of thing that's like you know you gotta hold these people you ought to you have to hold men account like go to court for every like rape case sexual assault case like you have to report everything in that where it's like not necessarily considering what the it's like the people who harass lady gaga for not naming her abuser where it's like well no that's not like a disservice to women what you are doing is a disservice to women which is invalidate making their like trauma a like psa message or like a learning moment for other people or an example when in reality like that doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be if you don't want it to be also that drudges up more trauma for yourself yeah without a doubt next we have writer number

four versus the colleague with an attitude and this was the colleague who the writer said in her words referred to her as dressing homeless and implied that she's bipolar and then told their boss so like 80 said the writer is wrong which yeah i'm glad again this is like the similar to the other one where i'm like we're all like pro mental health conversations and that stuff until it's you know like you can't be like keyboard or like tiktok psychologist like you can't do that kind of stuff so the next one we have wrong of the week aka rachel of the week aka rebecca of the week um judge bruce scrotum what a name scrotum the judge that was in the kyle rittenhouse trial versus the judicial system who's wrong like 99 said the judge he is a piece of shit and terrible

at his job that's what you put and wasn't there you pointed out somebody did they make did they say they made a mistake? Oh, no. So don't worry. So the two options I gave here, which is I think I'm going to have to start doing for every single one. It was either the judge. He's a piece of shit and is terrible at his job or the judge isn't wrong. I love the judge and Kyle Rittenhouse and I'm a raging racist Republican. And so someone voted that. And a couple of people did. I think one or I think someone else like mentioned like, oh, holy shit. Like, I'm so sorry. Like my finger slip and then another girl she voted that and her bio was a little like and then i went and uh you know first name last name saw the facebook and uh i don't know if we've discovered rebecca you mean

rachel rachel yes words weren't really her strong suit which rachel's words are not i would not say like linguistics is her forte she's not a wordsmith no exactly and her facebook was like stop the mandates finn blue line blue lives matter kyle rittenhouse fuck blm all of that so then i i cross referenced before i blew up her spot got it but i knew you would oh yeah i always that's like when people are like that you don't know and i'm like no like come on like the only times that I like I will message someone privately if like someone said something or like like the comment that like it doesn't seem to align with their views and I'll be like can I can I double checking to see again if you have like blue hair and a nose ring and I can like dig on one of your

social media like really quickly like if it's not hard for me to see that you are not a raging republican like then i assume it was a mistake and then finally the other wrong of the week rachel of the week dave portnoy versus human decency so the two options were dave portnoy he is the fucking worst and then the other option was dave isn't wrong i love him and i'm be chill with sexism assault anti-semitism transphobia and homophobia overwhelming dave portnoy is in the wrong but yeah i guess we have some barstool girlies who don't fully think that because i'm pretty sure we have yeah we've got at least one that fully voted for him not being wrong i don't totally remember if they had said that it was an accident but a couple people in the halfway point

and yeah barstool has like a chokehold on women with intense internalized misogyny who think that they're supporting women you know it's hard internalized misogyny like it's it's an unavoidable thing that you have to unlearn at some point in your life like it's just you fucking have to yeah just like racism like that's what the patriarchy and uh you know white supremacy is you can't fucking avoid it so that is the voting if you want to go vote for this episode again head on over to the instagram it'll be there tomorrow if you're listening to this on thursday and it's only up for 24 hours so do it let's do it and and really pay attention pay attention and listen to the episode first yes well should we get into but are we wrong first up um we're

going to discuss the things that have happened in our lives in the last since the last time we recorded and if we were right or wrong and i am going to talk about engagements so this is something that actually came up in the summer first and then has come up again which is the controversy and like the different sides of you know trying on rings before you get engaged I first tried on rings over the summer and I made a TikTok about it and I got a lot of people being like well that ruins the entire point of the proposal and I was like well no the proposal is um to get engaged to get married so that doesn't ruin anything and I personally would so much rather know that i'm getting a ring that i really like first of all we've had so many people

who've called into like don't blame me who like don't like their ring we've seen that in the facebook group so many times of people who like really don't like their ring and the amount of stress like i've talked to mox before recording this because i wanted to get his insight and he was like i would have like obviously asked you what you wanted and i would have like listened but like also like sales associates could have convinced me to get you something else or like told me that like i'm not an expert in that so i kind of would have deterred like referred to them or deferred to them and that would cause me so much like stress and anxiety of like trying to pick something out not knowing if you're going to like it that like that heightens all of it and

then potentially thinking from every moment forward that you don't really like it it's not what you would have picked for yourself and like it's so much easier on both of us if I just like know what you want so yeah I mean I guess that's what mine is that like I also have no issue with people who like want it to be a surprise like who want their ring to be a surprise and for people who are like well doesn't that ruin the surprise not to get into like all the intricacies of this but like you can't like I never tried on my ring like at all like they don't have these size they don't have like your everyone's ring size there and every ring every ring I tried on was in silver I only tried on a couple of bands in gold I didn't try on the size band that I wanted in gold like

the thinness of the band and the same thing with like the diamonds like the the ones that I tried on everything was like way smaller because they don't have rings with this like carrot size in store when we were there and so the only time I had like a sense of it was one that was also smaller than this like that's in like a clasp that's like not a real ring that's like a fake ring and so you're just like holding it up to kind of look what it is so there is still surprise there but yeah I just like hate this whole concept of people who are like your root like this is not what engagements are supposed to be like it's supposed to be a surprise and again an engagement the fact that you're getting engaged should not be a surprise the fact

you're gonna get married should not be a surprise that is a big big big big red flag but I think that like yeah having something that you know you like and that your partner like knows that you like and you're excited about nothing wrong with that at all I don't know I guess what I think is like if if the whole success of your like future marriage and your relationship is riding on the fact that like it's a surprise and that you're like going off on the wrong foot like you probably shouldn't get married to begin with no agree plan it out it's something that's going to be sitting on your finger for hopefully the rest of your life yeah and if your partner like doesn't care if you don't if you like don't like that to me is like a red flag you know yeah but also if

you like want it to be a total surprise awesome but like stop shaming people who are like no i know what i like there's nothing wrong with that also again have you seen the fucking bachelor like those rings come on this is what happens and they're still given guidance i'm waiting for the day that like neil lane like gives one of the bachelors like a giant fucking solitaire rock and we're like okay we know who the favorite is but i don't think it'll happen so what have you done what have you done well well well so some family members of mine got into a little a tussle verbal tussle i was gonna say that i love that audio well you girls know how you like to tussle a little verbal tussle so one person called another person to complain about something

and the other person laughed in their face because they thought it was a joke but it wasn't a joke oh my god i love that and they hurt the other person's feelings immensely and then the other person told me and another family member about it and then both me and the other family member confronted the laugher was the laugher out of line yes okay but also it was funny but it was you got like that and the thing is I'm usually the one that is mean and calling people out and I was actually I was like I need to be more cognizant of this person's emotional feelings so i was actually being the nice one wow i know and then everyone else was being a little bit more mean about it which is out of character for them so more impactful maybe right right i like that

you switch it up yeah you're switching positions and so we told the laugher and then the laugher apologized to the other person but in a way that it was clear that we told them about it and so the person with the hurt feelings came back to us and was like who told show yourselves and a text message and then we both took a picture of ourselves and then put it in the group chat but was i wrong for telling no here's the thing i think that like if someone's feelings are hurt and they like are searching for an apology if you are like looking for an apology and the apology hasn't already come like you kind of have to know the fact that like someone's gonna have to probe that apology out and if you want an apology that's how you're gonna get it so like you can't be mad

how you get the apology because if it didn't naturally come it's not gonna fucking come yeah and so like you know just like orgasms truly truly if you don't put it it's just it's not gonna come so i mean i don't i don't think it's wrong i do fucking hate though when like you will like tell someone that it's like hey don't say that i said anything like this but like you did hurt their feelings like or like something they could really use an apology and that person is like oh yeah for sure and then like just goes into it i'm like no acting there's you're not playing the part at all like come on like that is one where you're like fucking shit like because you go out of your way to like be aware of everybody's feelings and then kind of like do the synchronized

dance of it all and like you know not do it so it's so obvious to the other person and then you're like okay so we're just we're just leaving it all out there right now okay I see how it is I mean I thought it was pretty funny but I was you know trying to be more level so I wouldn't come off as mean I need to have a little bit of a delay in my immediate react like before I'm going to like give my full reaction like I need to make sure that not only is this like a safe place but like you're not kidding or like you are kidding like you know you got to let that moment sit before you just burst out laughing to what somebody says but yeah i don't think you're wrong thank you look i'm proud of you look at you being nice i know we have our moments

very rare but they're there all right now it is time for but are you wrong and this is when you guys write in and then we decide if you're wrong you're not if you want to submit your own in give us an email 250 words or less summary of the situation let us know like you know the pronouns and everything and also we beg of you to read it out loud after like before you send it after you write it so if there's anything grammatically incorrect or it sounds weird or just any more that needs more clarity because we read them for the first time on air to have like our first time reactions and it can get kind of hard and we have to basically correct what you're saying okay so the cast of characters and pronouns for this one me in this reverse to she her sister

in law she her husband he him i am trying to figure out if my feelings are justified the too long didn't read version is my sister-in-law is planning her wedding for basically my wedding anniversary, two days different. Just to note, I'm married to her brother. She isn't my biological sister. My sister-in-law is not engaged. She decided a few months ago that she was getting married and barreled ahead without her partner's input. Oh my God. She even went and tried on $15,000 engagement rings and sent pictures to her partner multiple times. She went alone or with her friends to do this. My sister-in-law has strong middle child syndrome. I find her behavior irritating and her family enables her that was fine until last week when she suddenly

changed her original wedding date to be three months later on basically my wedding anniversary she was a bridesmaid in my wedding and she made everything about her so i have a lot of buried resentment she's also ring shamed me would really hurt my feelings i never told my husband about it she ruined the shower my mother-in-law threw for my husband's side of the family acted like a spoiled brat at my bachelorette and bought her bridesmaids dress two sizes too small on purpose and told me it didn't fit the week before the wedding. Coupled with some other things that always seem to happen at the same time as our wedding stuff,

my husband has since admitted that he felt like we were often afterthoughts. He is the youngest and is upset that he can never just have something. It always has to be overtaken by someone else, usually his sister. Am I justified in being furious about her choice in wedding date

or am I letting everything that has happened in the past cloud my judgment? Does having the same wedding anniversary matter or am I overreacting? My husband has admitted that the date upsets him, but he's a peacemaker. I would never say anything. The fact that my quiet, mild-mannered husband feelings were slash are hurt by his family puts me into a full-on rage mode. Thank golden retriever husband and

rabid coyote wife lol. I'm trying to figure out what to do with these feelings. I can't talk to my husband about it too much because I don't want to shit talk his family to him. I'm a sensitive Virgo so please tell me the truth but in a nice way. Thanks in advance and I obviously have the pod. The Facebook group has given me some amazing advice and I'm so grateful for the safe and supportive community y'all have built for us. So kind. Okay so I'm deducing that her wedding was last year because i think that if you're pissed that you're going to share like basically the same wedding anniversary i don't know wait you mean who the writer oh the writer yeah so like if it's like you got married last year but also she's not even engaged yet i think she she's

engaged she in her head yeah but i'm like has she like put deposits down for the wedding like is like the way that the right like she's talking about that is as it's like the wedding is happening yeah it sounds like he never proposed but like they're getting married does he know this i guess so but like i know is he gonna be there is he gonna show up she sent pictures but he hasn't got her ring she's planning this wedding that she doesn't even know if it's actually gonna even happen yeah it's like window shopping yeah but actually putting down yeah money yeah so I mean I think this is like super hypothetical I think also her pushing it three months later totally could be like intentional but also could maybe be because like she's actually

not even engaged yet so like the date might keep pushing I think I would probably I don't know again I'm not married so like I don't know that like significance of like the wedding dates I would get if it was last year and like you still have like all of those like those feelings but I think if it was like five years ago i don't know maybe i don't know much about like i'm not good with dates in general but i would assume it would be less of like a haha fuck you but i think if you got married last year and she's purpose i think then she's purposely doing it this date like two days before for that reason you know i mean i'm like there's 365 days in a year and she has all those days to pick for her imaginary wedding 364 other days to pick for him all those other days

and why why is she picking this day I think she's totally wrong in this like she can pick any other day I fully agree I just wouldn't remember my friend's wedding anniversary unless it was like the year before do what I mean like that's what I think I'm like I think that like if it was if it was recent then she would I wouldn't remember but out of all the days in the year she just happens to pick that one day it's technically not the day it's two days before or after it's still in the same it is i mean truthfully i don't think she's even gonna get married on this day like you know what i mean but i think like you're not wrong for like being upset but i i mean she also seems so obsessed with herself which doesn't make it hurt any less that it might not be malicious that she

chose that day but that your wedding this i don't mean this at all i'm cosplaying as her that your wedding was so unimportant to her because it was all about her that she doesn't even remember what day it was like that's just as fucking hurtful yeah as someone who like intentionally picks it right around the same date as you so i think that that to me would seem a little bit more likely but i also think it's highly unlikely that she's going to get engaged like at this time because like pushing it three months you know you're not engaged yet like i get it i get why you're pushing it fucking wild i can't believe you had to make her i mean it doesn't seem like you wanted to make her a bridesmaid but like that's not well the the next one that i picked is also wedding

related hi ladies so one of my best friends got engaged in may 2019 i am close with her and her husband so i helped him plan the engagement party they ended up being a couple that had to change their plans due to covet they originally set to get married in june 2020 but decided to push the big ceremony and reception, about 200 people, back until May 2021. However, they still got officially married in June 2020 at their church with the reception at her parents' house, about 100 people invited. Needless to say, we had two weddings to attend for them, both out of state. A few weeks before their second wedding, her husband reached out to see if I would be available on the anniversary of their engagement. He wanted to reenact the engagement and have friends there

to stand in for her family i told him i was busy and couldn't come knowing full well i wasn't i couldn't see the point in this and didn't think it's a big deal if i sat out at this point they were already married for almost a year and i had already helped to plan the actual engagement but i was wrong the next day my friend texted our group chat thanking those of you that could make it and telling them how grateful she was for their friendship it was clear that she was pissed that i didn't go so much so that my other friend in the chat called me to ask if i was okay i was there for and helped plan their first engagement i attended the first wedding and was in the second official wedding am i wrong for not going to the reenactment of their engagement what is this the

civil war why are you reenacting your engagement this is so much in front of other people i'm sorry that is like the stupidest thing i've literally ever fucking heard like these are two people who are already married do these people have already attended the wedding and you're gathering around for him to get down on one knee and pretend to propose again i'm just picturing all their faces just like that like cringy smile clapping like oh what the fuck are we doing here why and in front of all these other people that's not even like a vow renew you know just call it an engaged uh anniversary party and then the reenactment part is what gets me i'm sorry you have to tell me there was at least a ring upgrade if he just like took if she took

off her existing ring and then did she take off her wedding band like did she just put on like what's weird it's so fucking weird also you were standing they said you're standing quote unquote in place of family so he would have done like none of this makes sense none none get your tickets now for the dog stars it's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear a therapist kill or be killed jacob elordi there are people out there they need our help josh brolin shoot first and inquire afterwards margaret qualley okay tough guy and guy peers arm up the dark stars directed by ridley scott in theaters friday get tickets now

absolutely none and like if someone's going to do this like if someone reached out to me and said that they were like going to do this i would be like i'm sorry you have to explain to me what the fuck this is because like this sounds so stupid no i'm not gonna go like that's like secondhand embarrassment cringe but like if you need me to be there you need this to be important like you need to you need to sell it to me because this is stupid as fuck yeah what is this i don't think they even know what this is no like are there pictures are is everyone actors like you should have hired actors yes like what was the reactions like how do you respond to i can't that's like i imagine like other people are around who like aren't in this group and who see it and are like

oh my god congratulations actually no we were we've already been married for a year and it's like what like at least do this at a restaurant or like at a hotel and like try and get a room upgrade but why that's what i mean like what's the like at least that it's like a financial bonus like you want to get like a free dessert you want to get some free spring rolls you want to get like a bump up to a suite but like here what this is so dumb this gotta be one of the dumbest things i've ever heard in my life as somebody who got engaged this weekend i think i agree this is the stupidest thing i've ever fucking heard okay we're gonna take a quick break um we're gonna digest that and uh we'll be back

we're back from our break the reenactment engagement is still as stupid as it was before the break okay this one i have so many thoughts but i like also i'm just okay i'm just not gonna say anything hi megan and melissa i'm gonna get right into it so buckle up i love when it starts like that in august of 2021 one of my best friends we're calling this person g she her 20 years old and i she her 22 years old had a threesome with my older brother's friend please you should have worded this a friend of my older brother i don't need to see me at a threesome with my older brother's friend he him 26 years old who i had hooked up with in the recent past it all started off as a joke but then it ended up actually happening but we didn't want to tell our

other best friend he she her 20 years old about it until after it happened because we were afraid of her judgment based on past experiences sharing intimate experiences with her she caught us in a lie about not being with each other that day before we were able to see her in person together to tell her, and she got really mad that we hid it from her. She also claimed that we now will always be closer than she can ever be with us, and it makes her feel weird to think about us together in any way. We understand that we shouldn't have lied about it, and we feel bad that we hurt her, but we also feel like it isn't fair that she's so mad because we don't owe her every detail of our private lives. She's been very judgmental about it, making jokes and saying

some negative things about it as well. I understand she probably feels a little excluded, but in this three-way friendship we've gone through different phases of two people being closer with each other than the third one and this is her first time being on the outside of it are we wrong for not telling her beforehand this is a weird situation i know because here's the thing like has she expressed sexual interest in either of you because like i cannot fathom like sydney having a threesome with like one of our other friends and then being jealous i'd be like fucking glad that wasn't me i don't want to fuck you do what i mean like yeah it's also like isn't it about friendship you two sit you and the brother friends sit down and we're like we want to fuck her so let's talk

this out and figure out how to get her in our thruple like how did how did this even come along i know that's not what you're asking but how did this even become you mean how did the like the two friends hook up with each other how did we all three get in into the situation i don't know the way you're talking about this and the fact that like this other friend is like shamed you guys for it doesn't sound like this was your first like sexual experience of this nature so it seems like it was you know parties who have been who have done these things kind of before potentially on the table before i just think that like you're i would never be jealous of my friends for having sex with each other if i didn't want to have sex with my friends

yeah so it's like does she want to maybe to be closer to her she has sex with each of you individually yeah i'm like this is not a friendship issue like and like the fact that it's a sex issue and like the fact that like not you like the third friend who's like i'm feeling left out it's like okay like so you you can't pose this as a friend issue my dude like this is a sex thing and like you're feeling jealous and you don't you're feeling like upset that like we're closer because we've had sex yes would you like to change that would you like to have sex and also like I don't think you guys want to have sex she sounds really funny she sounds shamey and weird and annoying but it sounds like maybe the shame is coming from some internalized issues like she

wants in she she does she wants in but she doesn't want to admit that so she would be like no none well I think it's like when people are like okay I have a crush on this guy but like you can't have him like even though I don't like him like you can't date him it's one of those things of being like well you guys can have sex with each other because i mean i don't want to have sex with you but like you can't have sex with each other it's like well why the fuck not yeah also like you don't have to feel bad about like lying to her like you do not owe anyone this at all like if you have sex with a friend that sexual relationship and like what you do like even if you have sex as friends like that does change the expectations of like what you share with your other friends

because like this is like an intimate sexual partner that you've had and like that is not information that your other friends need to know it's not like you went to coffee without the other one and then lied about it right like you do not owe her to tell you that you like fucked just fuck her like literally i want everyone to fuck yeah i would be like i'd fucking be like are you happy now yeah do you feel left out now because like yeah she's not doing a good job of hiding that that's what she wants yeah because like it's clear so i don't think you're wrong i'm stuck on it all right here's the next one hey y'all it's a little backstory my mom she her left me in cali when she moved with my stepdad and other siblings i would go and visit though

for a while until i was 18 okay so i'm married to a man in a wheelchair from birth back in 2020 my stepdad's mom posted on Facebook about how essential oils can heal anything even and I quote help someone walk again if they were in a wheelchair. This caused a huge fight between my in-laws family and me. My mom and I stopped talking after this after some terrible things were said and done all publicly on Facebook. Cut to my husband going into the hospital for something severe and all i wanted was my mom to be around so i forgave her and reached out we've been talking almost every day since and have repaired our relationship somewhat now here's why i'm writing i was telling a friend about this and they said i was being a pushover for letting my

mother back in my life and i should have never reached out was i wrong for reaching out i mean my instinct is no but it's also like i think the only time where i would be like no that was wrong is if there wasn't like a conversation like if your husband was not on board and like that was incredibly hurtful to him while he was in the hospital for something for you know i mean yeah but i think that like if it was something that like he wanted as well and like was okay with that was a conversation because you don't forget that shit you know you don't forget it but yeah if he was fine with it and especially if you're going through something and you needed the support and your mom was who you wanted to support you and you needed her to be there for you then no

i don't think that's being a pushover when you're going through something traumatic and especially as it relates to the same thing that the issue stemmed from like i would think that like if you reached out and her reaction was similar to like the comments that she posted on your stepmom's or your stepdad mom's facebook post you guys wouldn't be talking now right you know like that right like if she had came to the hospital and was like here's some essential oils he'll be fine yeah yeah like no definitely not but if she was what you needed at that time and she provided what you needed then i don't think you were wrong and i think your friend was wrong for saying that yeah if you're like if your husband is like was very okay with it and cool with it and there was

like communication between the two of you either pre or post and like sense all of that then he's the one who was like truly hurt you can be hurt by proxy by like what she said like on the on behalf of your husband but he's the one who was like actually really hurt in these things and if he was okay with it then your friend that has no say in it and also like not to like cut your mom more slack but it was your stepdad's mom who posted the facebook status and it seemed like your mom engaged in similar rhetoric but yeah i don't think i don't think you're wrong well that is uh it for the but are you wrong segment so again if you want to send us your own send us an email on but am i wrong pod at gmail.com let us know and we will tell you

if you're the hero or the villain all right so now it is time for our rachel of the week wrong of the week but are they wrong but are they wrong where we pick something that's happening in pop culture or in the news anything that we decide that we think is an issue right now is yours like serious yeah okay mine is so fucking frivolous so i'm glad that we're starting with yours and ending with mine mine is serious and i know i've been talking politics for the last couple weeks for this segment but it's the democratic party controversial is it well yeah i guess depends on people yeah first of all i am just tired i'm tired of politics as it is but unfortunately that's the way that politics work we're gonna start with the abortion yeah

thing that's up i already talked about how term limits need to be a thing but they tweeted out like the democratic party whatever the twitter page tweeted out vote we voted democrats run the house and senate we have a democratic president what what are we supposed to vote on yep controversial statement ruth bader ginsburg should have stepped down yeah we've talked i mean we've talked about this offline before this yeah she should have stepped down um i mean hillary clinton was she's right about so many things it just it aggravates me so much and then we've got our president who he was not our first choice or second choice but like he's doubling down on like trump's immigration policies and i'm just like i'm just

tired and angry i'm like get rid of the fucking filibuster let's there's just so many things that i think that we should be focused on and we're going to lose seats when the next election comes up we probably won't control one of the houses and i'm just like or the house or the scent i'm just like can y'all get the shit together like yeah can you please get your shit together and like fix it from the inside out because like that is the problem that like we have the the democratic party is it's not cohesive and it's not really liberal at all and it is our country like the there are so many loud voices of like really alt-right conservative republicans that like it feels like that the in my opinion democratic party has to get has had to get more and more

moderate to kind of i mean that's why we have the president we have because yeah it needed to be moderate because we had to pull in yeah those republicans that didn't want a very liberal president so it's just yeah and i get annoyed specifically with like very far incredibly liberal people like during the election times who are like i'm not voting because like i don't like either candidate i'm not going to let these kinds of i don't want any of this sort of stuff and then that becomes we know based on like the electoral college and everything like we know that our country is not predominantly republican but we know that the system is set up that it makes it so much easier for republicans to be in power and if you as like a liberal person are like i'm not

participating in this system as if that is going to make the system crumble and not just uphold it continually for like what it is. But yeah, it is really, really frustrating. And also it's frustrating because it's not surprising that like, yeah, we have an old white dude in the White House with the Democratic Party that is predominantly made up of older white dudes who had to appease conservatives and are just playing the role of a president. And like, stop. Truly, I think until we have a little a liberal woman at the helm who didn't come from a moderate background and any of that like i think that until we have like a person whose origins and political beliefs align more with an aoc and specifically also not a white woman i don't think that we're going to see any

of that change happening within because like it's the same thing with like to compare it to the patriarchy, we have an old white man going into the patriarchy saying we're going to dismantle it from the inside out when I'm like, but that's a system that benefits you. You don't have to make it work for you because it already works for you. But if nonwhite woman is doing that, the system wasn't built for her. Right. And so you have to change the system from the inside out because outside of that system in your everyday life doesn't benefit you inside when you're at the very top still wasn't built for you still doesn't benefit you and yeah it's frustrating it's so frustrating I'm just tired yeah and I also think with like the Ruth Bader Ginsburg I mean we've

talked about it but like I think that there's something that's like and this is not a critique of women which it is just like the nature again of the patriarchy that like we have so few women in power that when someone is we can't a look at their flaws in a way that we feel comfortable doing because it's tearing down the single woman that is really like right like there even like katie couric did you hear about this where she took i don't even specifically remember what it was but she took something out of her interview with ruth bader guinness birds because she didn't want to show her in a negative light exactly and like that becomes really hard because yes i totally get it like and i think like specifically with like women publicly unless they're doing unless

to like racist rage horrible all these things like i think it's much better to call women in than like to publicly shame women for like making a fixable mistake because yes it does give ammo to people to be like fuck women but like but i think that like that was a really hard thing and i think a lot of people had a really hard time letting her go and especially because a lot of the people she worked with and around ruth rickensburg were men and i think if men encouraged her to resign. Like there's just it was just like a horrible, horrible clusterfuck that didn't end didn't end well. And it sucks. So on a much lighter note, my Rachel of the week is the Chanel advent calendar. I did get into it after you told me about it. If anybody else has not,

this is on TikTok. I advise everyone to go look at it. Chanel is selling an advent calendar. I think it's in total for $825 for the Chanel advent calendar. And this girl was posting about it on Tik TOK, very exciting, like not as like a way to drag it at all. Just like a look what I got. I'm so excited. And I will full disclaimer, I don't have a lot of innate empathy for people who can, who are spending exorbitant amounts of money and on something that is like not a necessity. and then they like kind of get like ripped off but mostly because i understand that a lot of people like will save up money for these advent calendars because it's like a great deal or whatever but you can look on the website and like see everything that is in the calendar before you

buy it so if it was a investment purchase because you know you're getting your monies like you're saving all this money because you know you're gonna get your money's worth even if you want to be surprised you would have a friend look at it to make sure you're not getting ripped off So when you have this kind of disposable income to like, oh, so we have one surprise for like $825, I don't feel too terrible for you, but it is fucking hilarious, the shit that is in this fucking calendar. $825 and the contents of it are, oh, take a mind, it starts at five because Chanel number five. So it's not even 25 days or 24 days. And it has like little mini perfume, key chain, lipstick, a nail polish. Most of these are sample size, tiny little mirror,

a rope bracelet with a wax stamp, like a wax seal stamp that you would peel off of a letter, a plastic mini snow globe and a Chanel dust bag. Nothing in it, just the dust bag. Some stickers, a tiny tiny mini little hand cream and a money clip again incredibly small a paper like flip book and a singular like wax seal so they have like the wax seal keychain the wax seal bracelet and then just a wax seal like not a wax seal kit not that you can do it just again like a piece of wax and they're selling this for all of that and even with the upcharge of like chanel and the things that most of these are like free gift with purchase that people have like figured out from past years that they've like accumulated to be in this advent calendar even with the markup of

chanel with the branding markup it's only about like 200 worth and it was sold for 825 so the containers that it comes in is worth about 400 that's what they're saying basically and again like but if you actually like took away the chanel name in total it would be like 50 or maybe 50 like in total like absolutely wild but then the girl went on to say on her tiktok which chanel the international communication client experience strategy director at chanel fragrance and beauty he has disputed her claim which she said that chanel went and blocked her on tiktok which i think is the fucking most hilarious thing you could do is like a pr move that it's like someone's reviewing your calendar she was also very nice about it didn't she show that they blocked her

pretty sure that she did and like you can tell if someone's blocked you on tiktok they said we've never blocked access to the chanel tiktok page to anyone because it's not an active account and no content's ever been published we are committed to sharing our creations with followers on all social media we are active on our pages are open to everyone our followers are free to express their feelings and opinions whether they're enthusiastic or critical and it is fucking hilarious really what I took away from this is I'm a little bit of a hater in the sense that I'm like I kind of love this like major fashion house brand ripping off rich people I kind of live for that drama but it's still part of the problem exactly so like at the end of the day I'm like

no one is succeeding in this I'm laughing at it for like a couple of minutes but I just think that like it is it's absolutely wild and like I don't know if you're familiar with like Chanel's been like they've changed the prices this year of like they always will every couple of years to like adjust for like market value they will increase the prices of like everything and they did that again this year and it was like the biggest jump that they've ever had and it's just like so embarrassing and so fucking funny but now i'm completely on tiktok uh advent calendar like luxury advent calendar and if anything this just makes me like want to get like a really fancy one like the dior one like look so pretty and i'm like this is like so fun like i want one but i

could never spend that much money i just want them with chocolates and then that's all i want one i mean i can't i'm just saying i don't care about i can't have the talk oh yeah that's right you can't have chocolate when i found out that there's like an advent calendar that i could enjoy i was like wait i because i've only ever seen chocolates and alcohol and i like don't drink and i can't eat the chocolate and so i'm like this is like real exciting for me like i would love to get like a little like makeup you want like that's fun but it is wild like i think the dior one is only like four hundred dollars or maybe five hundred like the chanel one is so much more expensive than these other ones and has shitty stuff in it shitty the flip book was probably

one of my favorites well that is my rachel of the week chanel specifically and i am just i'm loving it so if anyone has any other like advent calendar drama like please please send me on any of those like rabbit holes i can get into like the tiktok ones like i love it well that's it for our episode right that is it for our episode we hope you all enjoyed if you would like to vote again head on over to the instagram by dot megan dot and dot melissa also if anyone has any suggestions for like what we should change our username to yeah let us know it was definitely our first choice or second or third or fourth or fifth i don't even think i think it was our 27th choice we were tired and then we were like we'll change this later and then it's been months it

has been once um so yeah let us know and go comment what should they comment on the last picture that we posted posts who would you want at your rematch yes for your engagement who would you want could be celebrity that would be funny i love that mons and i played this game all the time before we got engaged but if you could like make your celebrity bachelorette party like who would you invite like who would you bring and you don't have to bring any you can do it in like that your regular friends would be there yeah so they would fit in or you could do it you've already had one with your friends and you're just having one with celebrities isa ray uh-huh good one oprah actually oprah and gill oprah and gill have they have always been together yes always been because

i was like they bring the party yeah they do and kelly clarkson when i tell you you have named three people who have been on my list consistently my additions were tiffany haddish oh yes and melissa mccarthy yes yes that those were my i think melissa mccarthy would be pretty mellow though but i think she would take care of me yeah i think tiffany haddish would be like open your mouth you're drinking yes and i think melissa would be like it's okay sweetie you're fine you know what i mean like i think gail would also be an instigator gail's definitely that's why i said both of them have to be there together and i think oprah would be like i think she would like teeter in the middle but i think melissa and melissa mccarthy's so funny and she's i met her

once and she's so kind and just like so sweet and so nice hold on adele adele i've also put adele on mine yeah adele has to be there has to yeah also just imagine hanging out with kelly clarkson and adele specifically i love that also gail is one of my favorite people in the entire world so like i just i love it and also like i could see both adele and melissa mccarthy being like the best best instagram like photographers for you do what i mean like lizzo eliza would be good too yeah there's my five I'd said no to five but now there are and then I would want to like go to Vegas and I would want Lizzo to perform Lizzo plus Adele performing Adele would perform at the end of the night when it's time to go home yeah she would perform on Sunday night we're about to

leave but then Lizzo would perform like the first night that we get there and it's like raging it's so fun plus us I know right I feel like they'd like us I know I feel like it'd be really fun it'd be very fitting uh well let us know who yours would be reenactment or your bachelorette party and specify because i feel like they would definitely be different i would want a comic at the reenactment to just like roast it as it was happening and check what the fuck is this well uh that is it and uh yeah oh we should we've never read a review for this show oh we should okay and then also don't forget we have another podcast don't blame me it comes out on mondays oh let me read this one let's just compliment to you bruh love both pods melissa has the best

complexion this is all okay bye i can i can verify your skin is flawless and never dull like you all like your skin is always glowy thank you you know i do a lot to make it that way well you've succeeded thank you i'll read one 11 10 is the title 11 out of 10 oh 11 out of 10 i was like he's on the date because i was like you left this on november 26th and this is from dolly underscore 26 let's just pretend it's dolly part thank you miss parton having a second podcast to listen to from megan and melissa was the most exciting news i wish i could listen to a new episode every single day i could never get sick of listening to these two they feel like big sisters with endless knowledge and advice to share i couldn't recommend their podcast enough

so nice thank you and both of our names are spelled right so you get a diamond you get a diamond not that i can give you one but like i've never given one on this show look look at you dolly people that just listened to this show may not know what that means dolly parton would be fun too yeah but are we gonna get like hannah montana dolly or like miley dolly because you know she has two different personalities i'd take dolly in the blonde or take dolly in that brunette wig like i'll take her whatever whatever way she wants to give it okay i'll take it okay i would also love rihanna oh yeah bring great weed for the adele concert great weed the outfits i would be like you have to dress me you have to help me pick out oh no she would get the best instagram

pictures and her friend her best friend that's always with her too that's her assistant as well i think about it with lizzo's friends too i'm like your friends seem fun you can bring them along too this is getting really big more friends than we actually have it's like oh so sorry my Three friends, they can come too. But yeah, it's mostly celebrities I've never met. Okay. Well, that is it. We will circle back and we will see you next time.

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