Don't Blame Me! - S1E1: Friend-Zoning?

Episode Date: April 14, 2017

It’s finally here! Episode 1 of “Don’t Blame Me!” with Meghan Rienks! Hosted by me! Meghan Rienks! Exclamation points!This episode I answer your questions about sending nudes (to friends), how to friend-zone someone (nicely), and what to do if you’re bad at sex.So many of you called, but I could only get to a few questions this episode. Call back and I’ll get to as many questions as I can in the coming weeks.Just call and leave me a message at...[phone]...with your question, age, and as much detail as possible. And I will do my best to offer my words of wisdom.If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t blame me if it ruins your life. lol jk my advice is THE BEST.[phone]Call!Thanks to Audible for supporting our podcast. You can get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at audible.com/blame! Do it!Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by our wonderful sponsor audible so thank you so much audible for uh you know doing that thing by sponsoring our episode it's great i'm a big fan so if you guys want to get a free audiobook to ingest words and knowledge with your ears You can get a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash blame. In just those words, get smarter. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the podcast. Oh, my God. It's episode one. We're here. We did it. We're recording it. That means you guys called in. So, yeah. Thanks for that, by the way. Just like a personal thank you before we get started. I just want to thank you guys for calling because a lot of people called and I thought I was irrelevant. So this is cool. Um, yeah, if you're

just stumbling upon this, uh, which I don't know how you would do that. Uh, this is the don't blame me podcast with Megan Rinks plot twist. I'm Megan Rinks. Yeah. She's pretty cool. Like I said, I just said it was me. So it's not just make what I just said any cooler at all. Um, yeah. So if you guys didn't know, uh, now you do, this is an advice podcast and I have a bunch of phone calls from you guys calling in and asking me like asking me questions it's not questions you're like you're telling you're giving me tales of your life and i'm you give me problems and i fix them because i'm magic oh let me address the elephant in the room huh kidding jack you're not as big as an elephant uh my producer jack fairy whoa hi megan hello jack fairy thank you for inviting me to

produce your podcast oh my gosh uh thank you you guys might recognize jack's voice from where hotlines i'm kidding i'm also the producer of uh not too deep with grace helbig another podcast it's a great one you should check it out if this one sucks kidding i mean what listen to both actually if you're a fan of megan's she was recently a guest on uh grace helbig's podcast and is very very funny so highly recommend you check it out if you haven't already it was essentially my audition to be grace helbig's friend i tried and it worked and we're gonna Definitely have you back. So thank you for inviting me to produce your podcast. This is very exciting. Before we get started, I thought, because since a lot of people, this will be their

first time hearing you and your podcast, why don't you tell us why did you decide to start an advice podcast? That's a really great question. Thank you. I decided to start an advice podcast. This has actually been something I've wanted to do for a really long time because I love giving advice to people, even if I know nothing about the topic and have no personal experience with it. I just love it i had a segment on my youtube channel called dr megan for a while and i used to put on these fake glasses which is ironic because i have real glasses uh and i would give advice to people about things and i'm always giving my friends unsolicited advice that things that they usually don't want to hear because it's you know tough love and i'm far too brutally honest but i decided instead of

bothering my friends all the time because you know they're dwindling down so few few of them left you're just gonna bother the internet yes i'm gonna bother the internet so uh and you guys actually apparently have you all have we all have problems and you have one so well we've got a great selection of calls which i haven't heard i know you're hearing for the record now how can people ask you a question if they would like to be a part of the podcast uh on the street if i leave my house which is rare but kidding the phone number is 310-694-0976 that number again 310-694-0976 It's a Google voice account

You can leave a voicemail We do screen all of the calls So you will definitely be heard We obviously can't put every single call on the air But we do try to pick some of our favorites So Why don't we get into it Oh I'm so excited

I'm nervous Oh my god I wonder what they asked I don't know Well you're about to find out Okay Alright you ready to go Megan? Yeah Alright here we go

with the first call hi megan my name and my boyfriend recently broke up with me over text and it was kind of mean because he said like he didn't enjoy talking to me and he didn't want to be friends anymore and we haven't talked since and it's really awkward since he goes to my school i wasn't really devastated because i didn't really have feelings for him anymore and i was thinking of breaking up with him but for some reason i felt strange since then for the past week or so and I don't really know how I feel I can't tell if I'm upset or not and it's kind of eating away from me like I can't really focus at school or anything I don't really know what to do because I don't really have anyone to like talk to about this because my friends are kind of bad at giving

advice and I'm not really close with any of my family so despite the fact that you don't have feelings for him anymore it sucks no matter what to like get over somebody especially if you're the one getting dumped so i think my advice would be uh you know like be cool with not talking to him and not missing that i love pro con lists but this time just make a con list like not of like convicts just like things that suck about him and things that remind you like you're terrible this is awful and all the things you disliked about him because sometimes when we get broken up with or something like that we only think about the good stuff i'm like oh but i remember this remember this like okay we'll remember like that he like never brushed his teeth and like he like

loved Chris Brown. Like remember those things, not just like how it was nice to have someone like carry your backpack at school, which believe me, I missed that too. So remembering all of the like terrible crappy things of his personality and what he does. And then I think just looking pretty. And I mean like you can look pretty in whatever, like feeling pretty. Don't you have to look pretty? Cause like I'm wearing sweatpants right now. And like, I love a good pair of sweat pants, but just do stuff that makes you feel like cool and fun. And even if you have to like fake a couple Instagram pictures where you like, like make it look like you're having a really good time and you're like out doing something super cool. Uh, that just makes you feel like you're

doing better. So you win the breakup because breakups are a competition. Is that, that's such a terrible advice. That's what I would do. One time in high school, I pretend my best friend and I went, it was after I'd recently, I think I, I don't know if I recently got dumped, but I, my friend and I went to Rihanna concert and we had terrible seats, but we like pretended we'd amazing seats. And we pretended like we were drunk having the craziest night ever and took all these Instagram pictures and made it look like it was so much fun purely just to like get revenge and make everyone else to be like, oh my God, like we messed up. Like they're so cool. And we had so much fun doing that, like lying about all of this and like formulating all these

things to feel. And then we did feel really cool because everyone thought we were cool. I think also remembering at the end of the day, like a breakup's like, it's like a fresh start. So you can focus on other things. If you don't want to do the rebound thing, which I also highly encourage, like that's like the devil bad older sister in me that it's like yeah rebound go for it like make out with that boy you always thought was cute that you could never because you had a boyfriend um but then also like if you don't want to do that and you want to take like the mature route which I'm also like for the record like I'm not telling you to do either one of these things like do the mature route or do the rebound route like I am like all for you whatever you choose because

I would do both um and then like take like a break like focus on some other things like if you're getting ready to apply to colleges. Dating doesn't really help you get into college because if it did, you probably would have gone to USC and graduated. And yeah, focus on like your school work or hobbies. Personally, right now, I'm really bored because I have no acting jobs and I'm watercoloring a lot. So you can buy watercolors from Amazon. They're super cheap. That's what I've been doing. Focus on new hobbies like that. Play the ukulele. It's really easy and they cost like $29. I also started doing that. And know that there's no shame in pursuing things that aren't just dating and relationships because at the end of the day we're all gonna die alone

but i mean like you might be with somebody but like we don't you don't die with somebody unless you do which is like real tragic okay so if i mess up your life please don't blame me you sound like a wonderful lady uh next call hey megan so i'm a sophomore in high school and just turned 16. last year me and a guy who's now currently a junior talked and we went on a few dates but eventually just fizzled out. We stayed friends and now things are starting to pick back up again. However, I have some reservations about it because he's had sex with a lot of girls in the past and that doesn't bother me. But the farthest I've ever gone is a make out and I'm mentally ready in return to do more, but I'm scared about it being awkward or me

doing something wrong. If I please help. Here's what I'd say about this. First of all, um sex isn't hard i mean like like aspects of sex are hard but like you're not gonna be bad at it also he's probably bad at it because you're really young and sex is bad for a really long time um but also you won't know that it's bad because this is so not encouraging everyone's like i'm selling it now thanks megan no what i mean is like you're not gonna know it's okay it's like how do i explain it it's like okay it's like making money when you're a little kid you don't feel poor because you have no you you don't know what it's like to have money you don't know what it's like to have bills or anything like that and then as you get older and you like start making

money and you like spend your money and like you're like upset because it wasn't worth it like what you spent your money on and now you don't have that money but i mean like you can always have more sex but i just mean like you don't really know what you're missing out on for a while so like i'm not saying like just like wait because even when you get old it's just it's like a it's like you learn how to ride a bike and sometimes bikes have like flat tires and sometimes the bikes are like they they're too big or too small and they just fuck they're hard to ride or bad wow this is quite a metaphor i know i know this is i didn't mean it for that okay well i think i think the caller is concerned uh that she's going to be bad at sex she's you're

not going to be bad at sex there's really there's nothing that you really can do wrong um there's really not too much you can do wrong if it makes you feel better i have a friend of a friend who gave a guy a blowjob and she threw up on him so like you are solid like just that just set that as your like bar for like just don't do don't do that so like don't eat anything you're allergic to or eat a really big meal or anything like that but i think the other thing is too is knowing despite the fact that he's had sex with like multiple girls purely based on my experience with being that age it doesn't really matter how many girls he slept with at like 16 17 it's probably not stellar so there's not too much to really compare you to and also uh i mean it's it's

it's it's sex and he's just gonna be stoked no matter what but i also think if you have reservations and you're nervous about it um like wait until you're a little less nervous and if you're worried it's going to be awkward and if it feels too awkward to talk about sex with him before it might be too awkward to have sex i promise you talking about sex is way less awkward than real sex so if it feels too awkward to talk about it maybe don't do it yet and also uh just pretend you're super hot even if you don't think you're hot just pretend you're like i'm a sex kid and like i look great i'm sexy i know what i'm doing and like i do this a lot with people and I guarantee you he won't know the difference okay so there's this boy that I like and it's like

really awkward between us um we like kind of started dating I guess sort of he asked me out on a date we went on a date and then like he walked me home and he was like oh you text me if you want me to help you with your homework and like I never texted him which is like dumb because I should have and we ride the bus together and we sat next to each other in Spanish for a while and we just like talk to each other talk to each other kept talking to each other and then now all of a sudden we move seats and I never talk to him anymore and we like don't talk to each other on the bus but I still like him and I feel like he still likes me but like I just don't know what to do so yeah I'm just wondering what your advice would be how to like spark up a

conversation or like let him know I'm still interested he's like we just never talked to each other anymore and like it makes me sad because at least I consider us to be like good friends and now I'm just like I feel like we're not even friends besides dating and not I feel I feel like we're not even friends let alone dating but like we had that potential and we liked each other in the beginning and now we just don't talk so I feel like it's still there but I just need help kind of getting it started again so yeah thank you so much um okay so I would I would take a page take a page from his book and text him about homework and be like hey taking you back up on that homework offer from six months ago and you could make a joke out of it and say

something very similar to that where you're kind of poking fun of the fact that like addressing that you haven't really talked to anymore since then um but I think that was my definitely my go-to if I like liked somebody I was in class with even if you like took really great notes you're like oh my gosh I like totally like blanked like I don't know like how to say the library which is by the way biblioteca it's the only word I still know from Spanish class and ask them about asking about the homework and see if he wants to study for a test or something coming up and you can not that I'm saying go full-on mean girls like Katie Heron gruel pretend you're like super stupid to get Aaron Samuels to like tutor you but I mean hey I mean she barfed on him don't do that

but like some aspects of that we could work that into real life you know mean girls great role models um but I would ask yeah I would ask about homework I think that's the biggest thing at that age too especially when you're in school is like finding the common denominators because you don't have classes together and you have after-school activities that like don't align up you don't really see each other in social aspects so I would yeah ask him to study with you or ask him to give him give him give you fuck ask him to give you his notes for like class or something like that and then from there try and meet up with him in person whether it's like at the library studying and then you can like sit next to him and like accidentally brush your shoulder against

his shoulder and like tell him that you miss talking to him I think that's sweet I'd be so cute if you're like hey like what's the Spanish homework PS I love you no don't say that that's too far too far too far um but yeah I think bringing bringing up what you have in common aka Spanish class um and then uh you know asking to hang out outside of Spanish class and then you can make an excuse and be like let's study Spanish and then you don't have to study Spanish if you know what I mean so because you guys haven't talked in a while for me I personally uh like to make other people feel uncomfortable by poking fun at that aspect so if you have like Facebook oh my god texting whatever whatever like whatever means you communicated before I am a big fan of

the hello stranger or you could do the uh hi it's your former like seat mate like blah blah blah blah blah like remember me like we haven't talked since blah blah or you could send him the link to the Charlie Puth song we don't talk anymore and then say like hey I miss you let's hang out ha ha ha, ha, ha. And so just add a bunch of LOLs and ha, ha, ha's and it makes it automatically less uncomfortable is what I would say. But I would, yeah, I would address that first. I say send the link to We Don't Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth. Tell him that your Spanish grades are suffering because you're used to copying off of him and that you would like him to please advise next steps because you're going to blame your bad grades on him. Unless you're the smart

one, in which case, uh, tell him that he needs your help or he'll fail. And please do this actually. And, uh, take screenshots and tell us how it goes and then call back because I really am actually very curious. And, uh, or you could serenade him with the, we don't talk anymore and film a video, put it on YouTube and then call back. This would be a good time to tell you guys too, that if you have any commentary or things that you want to say about any of the advice I gave or the questions that were featured on this podcast, you can call in too, because we're going to have that segment at the end of every episode of your guys commenting on the advice that I gave people and the other advice things that they had and you can say stuff too if you're listening to

this being like Megan stupid I would do this better this is your chance to audition to replace me kidding you can't replace me but the phone number you should call is 310-694-0976 again the auditions to replace me on this show are 310-694-0976 and if you don't have a question It's a good way to get featured if you also have a lot of opinions like me. Hello, Megan. I have a couple different things that I would like to try. First of all, I'm 14 years old, and there's a boy at my school that likes me, but I don't really like him back. I think of him more as a friend.

So what should I do? and secondly um my parents have always really wanted me to kind of like put myself out there and make myself like known kind of at my school but I think that it's kind of like awkward and I'm a little bit more shy than I think that other people want me to be so what should I do about that so this is a two-parter question a twofer a two-for-one deal well first part of your question addressing the boy um if a boy if you like if a guy likes you or anyone likes you and you don't like them back i think it's kind of about doing exactly what you would want um and for me personally i think there's no there's no shame in not having feelings for somebody but i also think leading

someone on or just i think not telling someone that you're not interested is kind of the same thing as leading somebody on because it's not giving them a definitive answer and without a definitive answer you're kind of no matter what you're like we've all got that like little nicholas spark sad violent hopeless romantic in all of us that were like i'm gonna hold on to this hope because it's not a no it's like a maybe someday like our paths will cross so i would say be like straightforward and say something like i think you're a super great friend but i'm just not interested in you like that or if that sounds too scary to you you can just like like subtly friend zone him and like start calling him like buddy and pal and champ because there is nothing

more friend zoning than being called like oh you're such a good buddy or you're such a good friend and just reminding him how great of a friend he is or you could also like point out one of your girlfriends or someone who you think is cute like you guys would be so cute together and that shows him that you think he should date people who aren't you which is the jack is looking at me like that's a little fucked which is i'm just thinking about it from the guy's perspective the poor guy but i do agree but do you know i mean you do need to be honest with it i think you need to be honest because i think it's leading him on if you don't say anything because i think that gives false sense of hope.

Well, having been friend-zoned, I think the best thing you- Oh, no. Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to call in? I do want to call in. Let's talk about it. But I think what you need to do

is you just need to be honest because the sooner he gets the message, oh, this is just never going to happen, the faster he's going to be able to move on. Yeah. And I also think you don't want him to like his feelings to stay longer and develop over time

the longer that you guys are like becoming friends because that can happen too. And I also think like there's no shame in feeling like it's going to be awkward. But also if he's that great of a friend and you're worried about you guys not being friends anymore, either he, you'll stay friends because like he really is your friend

or he didn't want to be your friend at all to begin with, which might happen by the way, which I'm so sorry if that happens, but I've got multiple people who are like that. I can't say their full names on here, can I? No, no, Jack is not shaking his head. But it's happened to me before, so don't worry. I mean, not a lot, because like, I don't get friends.

I know I don't, I don't have a lot of friends to friend zone me. Is this sad? Okay, second part of your question was about being shy. Okay, I actually have a lot of feelings about this. So I am personally identify as an extroverted introvert. And I think something that I was pretty extroverted when I was a kid growing up, but I definitely was super, super shy when it came to things as well. And I think at the end of the day, like you don't have to be like loud and crazy and weird at all. And you can like like what you like and not want to speak up about certain things. And that can be okay. Like not everyone has to be a very outgoing person to like still like contribute to society. and still be able to like lead your day-to-day life but if you feel like you're holding things

back and you're not putting yourself for opportunities you want to do not just what other people want you to do or what you think you should be doing then I definitely think there's kind of a way to like expand your horizons without like auditioning to be the lead of the school play because that might not be something you really want to do like having introverted tendencies and like hobbies and things that you like that are just like more personal like that's totally fine but I think if it comes to like raising your hand in class, I totally understand that. I used to like be petrified to do that all the time, but then there were like group projects that I would like really excel in. Or if I was doing like a PowerPoint presentation to the class, I was so

scared if it was just me up there, but if I got to do it with like other people in a group, it was a lot better. So I think if it comes to like things that are like academics and all that sort of stuff, being able to like work with other people and like focus on things you're really, really good at because no matter what, you're not going to be great at everything. And just also knowing that if you want to take the chance on going to go do something that's like a little out of your comfort zone, then you should totally do it. But if you're happy and like you're content doing what you're doing, like don't let anyone else like make you feel like you need to be like Gabriela Montez from High School Musical if you don't want to be. You don't have to be her. Okay, guys, we're

going to take a quick break. More calls after this. this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by audible i am personally a huge fan of audible because you know what i love reading and books you know what i don't got time you know i do got ears to listen to someone else read me an audiobook it's like having someone in your ears when you're not listening to this podcast tell you like books it's like being a princess and having someone fan you and be like, I'm going to read to you. Fall asleep, princess or prince. So yeah. Does that not sound amazing? It does. I know it does. And there are so many different kinds of books that you guys can listen to. If you want to listen to books about shoes,

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Yeah. Not going to drop the mic. This mic is pretty and looks expensive. But thank you so much to Audible for sponsoring. And if you want something for free, you guys can go to audible.com slash blame. And guess what? It's a free audio book. I'll say that again, a little less creepy.

It's a free audio book. And you get a 30-day free trial. Do you know how much time you can spend on audible.com scrolling, being like, ooh, books, books, books on this, books on that, books on things you don't even know there are books about. And the best part, those books might have really big words. Do you know big words? I don't. Someone else can read you the big words. You will never pronounce Hermione Granger wrong ever again. You can have people with cool accents reading you books. You can have YouTubers reading you books about hopefully the books that they wrote. And you can have lots

of people reading you lots of different books in your ears for all of that time that your ears are lonely and need people whispering in them that url again is audible.com slash blame also is that not the best url ever thank you so much easy to remember audible.com slash blame because our podcast is called don't blame me don't blame me if you grow up stupid and don't read and we're back did you miss us yeah you did here's our next call hey megan it's i recently got accepted to college in New York City and I'm really excited but I'm kind of nervous

to be moving to such a big city by myself. Do you have any advice on how to move and how to find stuff to do in big cities? And do you have any tips

for staying in touch with people from back home? Bye. She has been a fan for literally ever. We DM. She went to my summer camp. She's like the greatest.

Love. First of all, congratulations. We're bleeping her name so I can say she's going to NYU. So exciting. I went to NYU.

I know. So first of all, I'm so excited for you because I remember all of your tweets about applying to colleges and I just felt so bad for you because I was like, God, I remember that. And you're way smarter than I ever was. So my tips for, first of all, tips for moving, moving into a college is great because there are a lot of strong college boys to carry your things. Use that and abuse that. Like I'm not kidding. Upperclassmen too. Okay. Like you don't have to like sweet talk random people that you meet in the hall. Like, Hey, do you want to carry up my, uh, toiletry case? Like you don't

have to do things like that. But, um, even if you're like actually looking for people to physically move your things and like set up your bedroom, there's like constantly like on the bulletin board of like junior guys, like Delta Chi is carrying your stuff. Like call this number, take this little thing you rip off the wall. So that's a great thing. Um, I think if it comes to making friends, when you're like gone and moving across country, I think knowing when you go to college, especially that like everybody's in the same boat that you are and everyone wants to make friends and everyone wants to make it work. No one really wants to go into it. Like, I mean, some people might go in being like an entitled asshole, but like most of the time people don't

want to do that. And you can kind of see that pretty early on. Um, don't have sex with anyone in your hall. Um, you know, Oh, learn how to cook things in a microwave because New York is expensive and, uh, be, uh, buy a lot of leggings. Cause you'll probably gain at least 15 pounds. but that's cool because everyone does. Finding things to do in big cities. I think in general, college has a lot to offer. Specifically, I say this from a girl who went to nearly two years of school. Go me. I think you can find something to do through your school, but I also think being able to look up... I mean, this is a weird thing for me, but my friends who all live in New York are on Facebook groups with each other who all moved from different high schools to New York.

And I think meeting up with people, there's definitely, I'm sure, people that you knew from graduating your high school and all that kind of stuff to like introduce to other people um things you shouldn't do drugs do not do drugs i will be so mad at you so how to stay in touch with people back home facetime is amazing and i think i think it's honestly like it's an art of staying in touch with people i was really really good at it supposed like mostly because i hated college um but i think going into it your friends are all gonna have different experiences with their freshman year some people are going to automatically love it right off the bat other people are going to have a harder time adjusting. So the, usually the people who have a harder time

adjusting are the ones who are making more of an effort to stay in contact with like friends from back home and talk a lot. And just knowing if you're the person in that situation, if you're not getting that same amount of like conversation back from your friends, it's not because they don't care about you or anything like that. It's just because they're, they're off doing their college thing too. It doesn't mean that they don't, yeah, it doesn't mean they don't care about you. And then also the same time, if you're getting reached out to a ton by some friends and you're like super busy and loving school already, just knowing that you're all going to adjust differently,

but that how you communicate with each other in the first couple of months, even the first like year of being at like school doesn't really determine the lasting length of your friendships in high school. I think being able to schedule times to like FaceTime, especially if you're on time, like changes, that's great. My best friend and I did that

where we would schedule a FaceTime and it wasn't the same time every week, but it'd be like, okay, we're going to FaceTime like on Saturday morning from this time to this time. And we'd be able to plan it and talk to each other, talk to each other. We didn't have to talk to each other. Well, she is going to New York. So she might start talking like that. Do it, do it. Um, and, uh, yeah, because I think texting is also kind of hard to keep up with too, but then also having your friends, if you do like

a group chat, that's always really fun. Um, and I also think even, which is like, sounds stupid, but if you've got like, uh, like make you're doing your, like your Snapchat stories and like Instagram and those kinds of things and being able to like have that with your friends. So are kind of sharing the experience with you. I think that's a really great way to like keep in touch. And yeah, I, yeah, I think, I think it's, it's really not that hard. It just don't take anything personally because I also have friends who like, we really didn't talk a ton while like they were at school or I was at school and like, we're still like really great friends now, but people have a lot of time adjusting. And I definitely had a hard time adjusting. Cause

like my best friend made all these friends and I was like, I hate all of your friends. Why aren't you talking to me all the time? And she's like, well, I'm like having really like a lot of fun at school and I was like great for you I'm not this is terrible but you know whatever I'm still her best friend I won so okay and next call hi Megan um I was just wondering okay so my best friend he moved to another town and he's completely never free and I never get to see him but I talk to him very often but he usually only contacts me over snapchat and when he does he asks for news and it makes me really uncomfortable and it's really hard for me to say no so I was wondering how do you think that it'd be better for me to play off the situation because I don't really

want to send them to him and it just is really nerve-wracking whenever I think about what if our friendship doesn't last because he's only using me for this or if he doesn't really care about me as a friend at all because of him only asking for nudes oh my god he's not your friend he's the fucking worst he doesn't care about you he just wants pictures of your boobs oh my god don't be friends with him okay yes i hate this i hate him so much okay i hate to say this but like i'm just going to like he your fear of him not wanting to be your friend and the fact that he just wants nudes and sounds like what's happening which like that just means he's a shitty friend in general so as much as like that's probably hard to hear now and like you could be like no

Megan like he does all these great things like he's super great I'm like okay cool that's so I can I have friends who don't ask me for nudes wonderful friends who aren't just like hey Megan like how's your Tuesday PS uh can I see your tits like that's not friendship at all and especially if you're uncomfortable first of all no that's just not friendship he sounds terrible and I I am sure he has redeeming qualities maybe he's like great at geometry or whatever but like there's nothing redeeming in this friendship for you two and this isn't a friendship this is a one-sided him like just asking for naked pictures and you not wanting or not needing to send them at all and also like you should that's not a prerequisite of like friendship where it's like

you could be my friend but hey I gotta see what you look like naked that's not what it should be like your friends shouldn't ask to see you naked one time I accidentally took my top off in front of my friends and he was like furious with me like so mad at me and could not look me in the eyes for like three weeks and I told his girlfriend we all made fun of him and that's what it should be if you're like naked in front of your friends like they not like they don't know he just he fuck him but don't fuck he hate him he's not your friend hey Megan so I'm currently 18 going on 19 and I've pretty much been the single friend my entire life and I'm totally cool with that but all my really close friends think I'm like a heartbreaker basically whenever I start to have

feelings for a guy and we start to hit it off I'll go in a little bit dip my toes in and then just lose interest and I think that's totally fine but my friends think I don't give any guys chance and I'm super picky and have super high standards. So basically I just want to know, are they right? Am I just like having crazy expectations or should I just leave guys who I don't think work for me? I don't know if I'm just like anxious about the relationship, not working out or not being patient enough to see it through. But basically that's what my life is right now. So if you have any advice on that, I'd love to hear it. Well, this is terrifying. This sounds like I went back and re-recorded this at 18, 19 years old and submitted it to my own podcast. Wow. Okay. This is a lot of internal reflection I'm having to have right now. Okay. If we can't tell, I relate to you a lot. Um, okay. This was me like 100%. I had this issue where, uh, I would date people and then like light clockwork at three to four months, it would be like, I have zero feelings for you anymore.

And I never want to see you again in my whole life, which is awful. But here's the thing I'll say. I think there is such a thing as having unrealistic expectations and unrealistic standards when it comes to certain things, but not when it comes to your feelings. I think if you're ruling out people because of like if you're not not specifically ruling out specific people, but if you're kind of like closing off who you're even like letting yourself meet and be like interested in or whatever, based on like very superficial things, I think that can be like if you're like, I'm only going to date guys who work in finance, like plot twist. I went on a date with a guy who works in finance. His name was Max. Can I say that? I didn't say his last name.

He was the worst. And so then I was like, yeah, psych. I don't want to like go on a date with a guy who works in finance anymore. I think if you're being picky when it comes to people you're actually meeting and you actually know, I don't think that's necessarily considered picky because at the end of the day, like if it's someone who you really like, all of those sort of like that pickiness or those expectations and standards are going to be gone. And like if you have those real genuine feelings for somebody, none of that stuff will be

relevant or you won't even notice that kind of stuff, if that makes any sense. So I also think like relationships or feelings kind of fizzle out and die for a reason. I think at the end of the day, like if you actually had like true, genuine, like hardcore feelings for anybody, little nitpicky things that you might not like or enjoy, that wouldn't affect you. But I don't think there's any harm in it. I think especially like putting yourself out there is a really good thing. and if you're kind of refusing not that i'm suggesting you're refusing to this i'm making you sound so difficult i'm really talking to myself right now so i just want you to take everything with a grain of salt because i'm really talking to my past self i think if you're um kind

of like like not going out or meeting new people that you haven't like met before because of certain reasons um and certain expectations you have with people that you're going to date i think putting yourself out there is really good because you might find feelings and emotions for people in places or in people that you didn't really necessarily expect. So putting yourself out there is great, but also don't feel like you have to settle if you're like talking to someone or dating someone and like, you're not feeling it, like you're allowed to not feel it. And also if you don't feel it now, you're not going to feel it in like even more time because you're just going to get more annoying and they're like quirks and ticks are going to get worse. But there is hope

for you young Megan. Um, because one day you will like date someone for four months or three months and then it'll be like four months in one day and you'll like roll over because you're sleeping over, whatever. You're old at this point. I'm talking to myself. And you're going to realize that you still like that person.

And it doesn't work. It all doesn't work until it does. So I think there's no issue with being picky as long as, yeah, just don't settle because eventually you'll be happy and you'll find someone great. Oh my God, this is me. This is fucked.

Okay, guys, that's it for questions. Except now we have an amazing segment. If we have music here, I don't know. I thought I was going to sing it, just in case we didn't. This is Producer's Corner with Jack Ferry. Jack, would you like to take it away and explain what the Producer's Corner is? Yeah, so I thought it would be really fun for me to pick my favorite call of the week for every episode. And so, without further ado, here is that call for you, Megan.

Oh, it's going to be fucking terrible. It's going to be fucking terrible. It's going to be weird, isn't it? Hi, Megan. Long-time listener, first-time caller. big fan of the show um for the sake of anonymity i'm just going to say my name is max anyway i'm the producer of a very successful podcast hosted by an internet celebrity who again for the sake of anonymity i'm just going to call uh blegan brink anyway um my thing is i think the reason

she asked me to produce her podcast is because she's secretly in love with me anyway um i just need to let her know in some way that I really do like her but like as a friend any advice you can offer will be really helpful anyway thanks wow this is a really good question it's a great question yeah thank you caller for calling in thank you so

much it's important god um I would say that he's delusional is that what you think yeah I would think he's delusional and I think I I think his head is so far up his own ass well hang on this is this is not good advice no i mean i'm being honest he just he thinks he shits glitter and i think he

needs to be taken down off his high horse he produces one podcast which may smell big and walks around thinking hang on i don't think he made any mention of another podcast oh god am i hang on let's let's let me recap the call yes i believe uh this gentleman named mac uh is producing a podcast hosted by someone named blagin blagin um that's of irish descent Who he believes is potentially secretly in love with him. What advice do you have for him? Because he wants to let her know that he does like her, but as a friend. Just as a friend.

I think he's wrong. Oh, you think she is in love with him? I think at the end of the day, I think he needs to understand that everyone's got their own things. And maybe she's got a life that she's leading and he's projecting. Maybe she just really wants to be in a movie or TV show he makes That's great I'm assuming he also makes movies and TV shows

Yeah, I painted a character with lots of details Well anyway, thank you caller for your call That was a great call Please call again and let us know how it goes Are you going to call every week? I don't know what you're talking about Producer's corner

It's literally you calling every week, isn't it? I thought it was going to be Mitchell I was like oh no oh my gosh guys that's the end of the first episode did you like it I was going to tell you to like this but it's not a YouTube video I'm just in your earbuds does it feel like ASMR

maybe I don't know oh my god thank you guys so much for listening this was so great I had so much fun doing all of this and I really would love to hear from more of you with more questions so yeah I'm going to give the phone number again for you guys because I think that's what I probably should do Jack is nodding

It is 310-694-0976, 310-694-0976. So please call in, leave your voicemails. You guys heard how it's been done. And I would love to hear from you guys, some new questions. And again, if you have commentary on anything we talked about, again, you can call too. Just leave lots of voicemails. And wherever you guys are listening to this, if it's not iTunes, I'm going to send you on over to iTunes.

Do you know why? Because you can rate us. it's like hot or not which is an app which if you're young you probably don't know what that is anymore it's terribly mean um but i would love if i'm gonna be the uber where it's like did you enjoy this ride give me five stars i can't rate you but i would if i could so i would love you guys could rate us and uh leave some reviews and comments only good ones please it's like the thing in amazon where they pay you to leave the good ones i'm not paying you though i'm not promising anything i'm just really would love that because it would make me happy um because that's how people

can find our podcast and uh it'll be easier for you to find it and tell your friends to find it They're not searching like with all the podcasts that have no reviews and all that stuff. So really help yourself by rating and commenting and leaving it, leaving a very nice review about how great I am and how wonderful Jack's shirt is today, which you can't see, but it is, it's floral. don't blame me is a production by me produced and directed by jack fairy associate producer melissa de monts edited by melissa de monts post-production sound by chris henry and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i will see you guys in two weeks and

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