Don't Blame Me! - S1E18: Guest: Grace Helbig - Bully Bosses and Terrible College Experiences!

Episode Date: December 8, 2017

Fellow podcast host Grace Helbig of Not Too Deep joined me this week, and (ironically) this episode got real deep! We’re sharing our advice on how to cope with evil bosses, dealing with a friend with benefits (who’s using you), and how to tell your partner that you have herpes. We also had a follow-up from the caller who wanted to confront her friend about his sexuality.[phone], or international listeners can email me at [e-mail]...with your question and as much detail as possible. And I will do my best to offer my words of wisdom.If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t blame me if it ruins your life. lol, jk, my advice is always the best.-Thanks to RXBAR for supporting Don't Blame Me. Get 25% off your first order at RXbar.com/blame promo code BLAME.-Also thank you to to TreeHut for supporting our show. For 15% off your first order, visit http://www.treehutwatches.com/blame and enter promo code blame at checkout.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

thanks to rx bar for supporting don't blame me rx bar is a whole food protein bar with no bs get 25 off your first order at rxbar.com slash blame and use the promo code blame that's rxbar.com slash blame promo code blame this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by tree hut tree hut makes real wooden watches offering engraved personal messages that make meaningful unique gifts for 15 off your first order visit treehutwatches.com slash blame and enter the promo code blame at checkout hello everybody welcome back to my podcast this is uh oh my god i almost forgot the own name of podcast i'm like don't i'm just gonna i almost said this is not too deep with megan it's not

this is don't blame me with megan but we have the host of not too deep grace helbig yay thanks for being in my house that your house is like i said a macy's holiday showroom it is on i knew i had expectations that it was going to be absolutely fabulous it's exceeded it yes it's so nice oh thanks i mean it's also still halfway decorated from thanksgiving i wouldn't even i just looked festive and holiday that was the theme for thanksgiving was christmas that's the aesthetic we're going for i wish you guys were here though when like the lights were down so you could see how all the christmasy twinkle lights everywhere i'm sure it was beautiful it's very beautiful mel's here too hello jack is doing who cares it doesn't it

It doesn't matter what Jack is doing. He's not here. It's a girl's day. He's everywhere. He's on social media. Oh, that is true. Yeah. He's checking in.

He sent selfies, either shaved or unshaved ones. Jack took some selfies that I had to look at over his holiday that I was like, what are you doing? These are bad selfies. Oh, that's fire. He took bad angles. He knows better. He's a selfie prince.

He was probably trying to get like the ocean in the background. It wasn't even the ocean. It was just like a cabana over top of it. Oh, God. that is a terrible picture jack i was like come on you're back right jack we're talking about you and you manifested yourself you did why did you take this i was so disappointed in you over your holidays i was like i hope he has a couple margaritas in him and that's why he took from this angle why what's wrong with that photo why would you ever take below your chin angle selfie

that's rule number one what were you trying so beautiful then just take the sky you're very tan you are tan oh yeah we were just saying how you're not here but now jack's here everybody do you want to hop on my mic and say hi hi everybody he's nailed it great perfect well guys uh yeah this is uh don't blame me with megan ranks and this is my advice podcast so today we're going to be listening to your voicemails and giving you some advice and if you guys want to call in you can call the number 310-694-0976 you did it's only taken months for me and I also practiced in the car today I was like 310 no that's good I don't have any other phone numbers memorized other than my own phone do you have any like childhood friends home phone

numbers still memorized I have like my old house landline so not even completely but like part of i have my friends one of my friends first how like childhood homes so they don't live there anymore no one i know lives there i'm like this is this is stuck in my head but i cannot remember my boyfriend's area code for his phone number same do you write down in case like your phone completely like nope yeah me either if i lose it i lose all of it no i'm stranded i will be stuck forever but uh yeah so um and also if you guys are international callers you can send a voice memo just record on your phone and email it to meganpodcast at gmail.com so we can hear your british accents or your canadian accents still a fan of the canadians would love dual citizenship

i'm not looking to get married no offense guys um but yeah should we start let's go Hey, my name is and I am 25 and I recently left my job that I spent three years just working my butt to the bone. Like, I did everything for this job. I was on call 24-7. I just gave everything to this job. And I actually recently left it. And the reason why I left this job was because my boss, who is female, she was quite abusive in the workplace. she would say the most horrible things to me um she never respected me or my time she would belittle me all the time if i ever made a mistake she was so quick to react and make me feel so shameful um and when she didn't have the guts to speak with me in person which she actually hardly ever did she would go seclude herself in the office and just type up all these long emails about how like shitty I was and it's just always so funny because where I worked and I

don't want to give out too much information but where I worked everyone loved me there all the people um that I worked for loved me there but my boss was just terrible so I left and now um long story short I'm working at this new place and um they seem to have everything so much more together but I can't like I can't believe that it's true I can't believe that these people want to be nice to me and that my new boss like actually cares about me and compliments me and it all just seems like a big joke and a dream because again three years at this previous job I was treated like serious shit and I'd go home and I'd just like crawl in my boyfriend's arms and just like cry and cry and cry because I couldn't take it and I just that's what I'm

so used to and accustomed to so being in this new position it's just I just want to know how do a lot of people have issues with work abuse my response is good for you to get out of that work environment I mean it seems like you've been for three years conditioned to abuse which sucks and is like a very addictive cycle that it will become and it's totally valid that you would feel really insecure and about being in a job where people seemingly validate you uh and it's hard but i think the bet i mean one she's only 25 yeah which thank god she didn't stay in that longer which is entirely possible oh yeah and shitty people are just going to be shitty and it's not a reflection of you it's a reflection of her boss clearly has some ish going on in her own

that she's projecting onto her um but i think like i don't i don't know the right process for healing that kind of thing but i think admitting to yourself that these are what you're feeling these things or these experiences is the first step when you start to say it out loud it becomes it either like breaks down the walls you have or starts to break them down or starts to make you realize what your real situation is yeah yeah have you ever had work abuse before i mean i think like my job different in the sense of like not going back to the same like working on sets or whatever like you can have people who are total assholes and mean but it's not there's i mean i haven't had like a consistent singular working with like the same group of people for three years

over and over or something like that but i think it happens like i i think in the last year i've had six of my friends change jobs based on like the people that they work with and whether it's like bosses who are terrible to them or coworkers or management. I think it's so incredibly common that this, that this happens. Like I, I know so many personal details about my friends, like bosses that I'm like, I hate so many people who employ my friends because I'm like, I hear all these terrible, terrible things. Um, and I think the thing that's great is I, the advice I would give if you were feeling very, I don't know, down about yourself, not just the situation is to kind of realize that this is somebody exactly you're saying is somebody else's problem yeah and the

fact that like you're recognizing that everyone else at your other job really liked you and you got along with everybody and this was very much a her thing i think just not letting that um knowing that that kind of that experience with her just needs to like live and die there and none of that needs to transfer over and especially if everyone's being nice to you and everything's doing good um i wouldn't i wouldn't dwell too much on it and also it's kind of like being i don't know like not that i'm saying like the other shoe is eventually going to fall and people are going to be terrible but like be blissfully ignorant while you can be like this is great everyone's so nice to me yeah that's what i was going to say when you think back on

great bosses that you've had or great work relationships that you have there's in my mind only a handful because a lot of them are kind of insignificant or not the best and so the ones that are really really great i have like a very special place in my brain for them yeah and so it's for it's really really hard to be like ignore your trust issues but like it's going to eventually you're going to waste your time comparing the two situations rather than enjoying the present one that you're in uh and it's always easier said than done but just start to i mean i think practice like gratitude like be thankful for the way that they're treating you now versus the way you were treated before and know that you don't want to treat anyone the way that your old boss treated

you everything's a learning experience if you can look back and say well I learned I never want to be in that experience again nor do I want to treat anyone like I felt in that experience then you can move forward with no blood on your hands yeah and also it's not you spent three years being so upset like obviously you totally like warranted so why spend the next three years being upset about oh this could possibly happen again kind of thing I think just as much as like shut down your feelings but kind of just yeah just just let it be a new experience and try not and let it get clouded by these like what ifs yeah also be nice to yourself because it sounds like you've eliminated this cycle of abuse from the singular person which you've been conditioned to so now you're like

I have this empty space in my brain I should now make it fill it myself by having these like negative thoughts about the good experiences I'm having so give yourself a high five that you got out of that situation and now take that abuse section of your brain that was like happening and that you're like has been normalized in a way and exchange that with you know the gratitude the people that you're with now don't treat you that way yeah because i can see how you would be so accustomed to that when the abuse isn't in your life you're like well then how do i self-destruct so i can fill this like abuse void that i have in my brain and also just write a really long really mean glass door review of her oh yeah or you can do that uh i've heard this i haven't done

for myself to know if it works really well just write out like a just completely honest letter of everything that you would say to this woman like completely honestly with no consequences and then burn it yeah let it go i like that i like that okay on to the next one my best friend is my ex we never really dated but we talked for several months um we had sex together we had our first kids together we had our first everything together but then he ended up thinking to date someone but then he came back to me but then he had the things to date someone else when he went to camp and then he came back and every time he comes back he just placed my feelings basically and ends it but I love him so much I just let him do it then um me and him were talking again and

um he ended up dating one of my friends and I was a petty little bitch to her and I fucking hate her and she hates me but months after like I ended up breaking them up several times because she always thought that he loved me because I was first everything you know we're always so close and um right now they've been dating for several months but me and him were becoming friends again and he basically cheated on her and well he did because he i basically gave him the hands up so that's cheating and it just i don't know what to do because i know he doesn't like me even though he gives hints that he does and like i just don't know how to deal with the situation because every kind of want to get like i want to stop being friends with him i just i can't because i love

him and he means so much to me so do you know any way that you could help me with this or like how to deal with the situation without anyone like getting hurt you know and how to actually like stop like even though loving them i wish you were recording it so we could just see your face that guy sucks yeah that guy sucks so hard i know my number one thing i'm like he's not your friend no like at all he's never been your friend no he has no desire to be your friend he has no intention of you guys like he's not gonna attend your wedding like no he doesn't give a shit about your feelings not at all at all he just wants hand jobs yeah he cares about your hands not your head jesus um well uh find someone else yeah i'd also say you're 16 and there's something that

nothing is not dramatic at that age oh yeah everything's the end of the world everything and especially like relationships and dating i don't even like relationships that i can look back on that i like saw my friends have in high school that are now i'm like oh seemingly not problematic or dramatic at all we managed to make everything so dramatic so you're so conditioned and used to accepting that these things just happen and then this is just something that comes along with the territory but you're you're cutting him far far far too much slack yeah this i mean this dude sucks plain and simple but he's also like a 16 year old boy which is par for the course a lot of times and it's so obviously it's a shitty thing as an adult to tell you as a

teenager like just get some life experience and this won't your perspective will change and this won't seem as meaningful as it does but it's impossible for you to know that at 16 until you actually become older and have space from it i would say this is the kind of guy that clearly knows that you are around and available uh at all times because you are girl so make yourself less available yeah just cut him off see what happens i have a feeling he'll be way more if you stop talking to him if you stop returning texts or phone calls or whatever conversations you're having i'm sure he'll will become way more aggressive in contacting you because there's like a oh my safety net this girl that's always there isn't there so it's a panic communication

um but then you can't give in on that i mean you gotta decide for yourself like do you it sounds like you don't value yourself enough to be like i don't need this guy no you want someone to choose you like you can't yeah and and being the second string thing that that sounds it sounds like such like this romantic comedy thing of like oh we were best friends and it's always the will they won't they but it's not like you both have been in different relationships and haven't been able to be together there's been opportunities and he's chosen to be with other people and I think that just that speaks volumes yeah I mean I would encourage you to prove me wrong because I think you're gonna stay with this guy yeah I mean like I don't trust anything in your voice that says

you're ready to walk away from this guy but I would uh give you the the mission of proving me wrong yeah and I also think that there's and I've said this before on the podcast that I I can think back to being 16 so clearly and about how much not even just pressure I guess like pressure in general you feel when someone's your first but this sense of like importance when that's been it's been recent enough that like the and they always talk like the first person you sleep with how important that is it's not like it's the last person you sleep with it's not the first person that you that you lose your virginity to or whatever that is um I think there's kind of there feels like a safety net in that and going back to that i mean i sure as hell know that like

i definitely went back to like terrible guys in high school because i'm like well it's not adding to my number like let me like keep this here but that's also it's it's it might feel comfortable for a while but ultimately all it's going to do is give you're not gonna have any other opportunity or other chance to meet other people because you're always gonna be that girl who's it's complicated with this guy right you're gonna become not only are you not gonna be pursuing other people but other people probably aren't gonna pursue you because you're gonna sound like a fuck ton of drama because you're already tied up in this confusing thing exactly and if you're spending if you're spending all your energy either waiting around or participating in this drama with

this guy you miss all these other openings of other really potentially great people in your ecosystem that could be available to you um yeah just this guy sucks yeah and it's ruining friendships too yeah I think that's another thing that's like I as much as I can totally understand you hating this girl for that but I mean that's also why doesn't he get punishment for that too like he's just as much a player in hooking up and starting to date your friend as your friend yeah and I think really like have a conversation with yourself about what you want and if you had an ideal partner what are the qualities in that person that you would want versus what you're getting from this current situation like what are you addicted to is that you want like Megan said

someone to choose you do you want to be the winner quote-unquote in this like situation with this other girl because I've been there where you're like I want it you miss there's like a misconception that someone choosing you is someone thinking you're special and that's not always it it's like you're convenient you're not special so you want the person that chooses you because you're special yeah and i would also say as a girl who's friends with a lot of guys and i've always i've always been like that i understand that there is that feeling of being that constant in a guy's life especially at that age when he's dating all of these people and you're the friend that's always around but you guys aren't friends like that i'm now able to distinguish when i look back on like

the guys that I would be on again off again but we're like oh it's casual we're just friends like we just happen to have hooked up or whatever but I was realizing was eating me up inside to see him with other people and all that but there is that sense of pride and feeling of being like oh well I'm his like oh that's his best girlfriend like she's an untouchable kind of thing but you're you guys aren't this isn't a true real friendship and I also think um it's gonna take a while for I mean at least for me like I know that there's there's relationships that have been way easier to get over and way harder to get over not even regardless of the age that i was like i think the hardest ones i had to get over was when i was like 16 or 7 no like 8 17 or 18 and then when i was like

maybe 20 ish but then like the ones in between even when i was like 22 dating people no no that that's mods we're still dating but like that stuff but i'm like those ones even though i was older and you'd think that those feelings would mature and those relationships would be deeper there i'm I don't want to ever belittle this because you're 16 because like the first time I fell in love, I was 16. And like, even now as a 24 year old, I can still be like, no, I was totally in love with that person. But I think just like we're saying is you have to give yourself and other people the opportunity to, um, I don't know, to impress you and you need to be open to that. Also I've learned as an adult, and this is going to sound maybe too psychological, but like you

got to look at the mommy issues here. A lot of times a guy, what is his relationship with his mom? Is it non-existent? Because that's probably why you're around. A lot of guys make female friends because they come in and they provide this like nurturing maternal energy that they're not getting from their mom. And I've learned that the hardest relationships I've had to get over in breakups were because I was trying so hard to be this person's like special person, but really they just wanted maternal energy from me. They didn't want me as a girlfriend. They wanted me as like a caretaker and making sure that they're okay. So look at that because that can be like a clear indicator that this guy is coming back to you because you're this soft sweet spot that gives

him this like motherly love that he might not be getting elsewhere and that's not your job not at all yeah have fun in high school yeah you're 16 do body shots dance on tables except don't do body shots of water water stay hydrated yeah okay on to the next one I am 22 years old And my whole life I've kind of gone through with this mentality of, like, I don't need a man. I'm super independent, like, super single, and I love it, that kind of mentality, kind of, like, feeling like a bad bitch, you know. But then about a year ago, I kind of stumbled into a relationship. It came out of nowhere. I was really surprised.

I really enjoyed it, and I kind of really surprised myself with how much I enjoyed it. Things ended about six months ago. It's not a big deal anymore, you know. It's fine. But I am kind of confused at this point because I'm really enjoying being single, but I'm also – in that relationship, I learned that I really enjoy being in a relationship, and I really am looking forward to, like, being a wife and a mom. And now I'm kind of at this point where, like, I want to be strong and independent, but I also really – I would really love to be in another relationship. And I'm kind of wondering if you have any tips on how to kind of balance both attitudes. and i mean can you be both is this something that other people worry about

hell yeah 2017 you can be a badass independent woman in a relationship yeah i mean you should be essentially like relationships are about balancing your own happiness with someone else's happiness and not compromising either one yeah i'm a serial monogamous relationship person but at the same time i consider myself a completely totally independent like career driven woman at the same time and the best relationships are when that feels in balance with each other the worst relationships are when you feel like you're compromising like you said one side of that um but that's one should be really like awesome for you to realize that you want a nurturing relationship and you want to be a badass bitch yeah well i think that's i think

exactly like that like that's i think you're light years ahead of a lot of people like i think you can really be in the phase of, I don't want to date at all, or it's wanting a relationship and wanting a boyfriend and those things for other reasons. But I think, I mean, I've always said that my favorite between friends and relationships, my favorite thing is when I can coexist with people like that. I love that. I don't want to have to always be on. I don't want to have to be always carrying a conversation. I want to be able to do my own thing. Right. And then be able to be like, Oh, cool. Great. We're going to bed. Like, good night. Like, cool. Awesome. There's a person here who I really love or just like sitting with friends and watching TV and not

having to talk like people you can thrive and coexist right with um i think there's a lot of uh especially if you haven't dated in a really long time and you really enjoyed being single what i would say is like that's fine i mean i think every my mentality with every relationship and every step in a relationship is i want to do whatever step it is until that's not fun anymore and then i want to like go ahead and like figure out the next thing to do yeah so like before mox and i like made it official I'm like I'm still having fun when we're just dating like I don't want us to be like official boyfriend girlfriend yet because I was just also an asshole but then like I was like okay you know what like this is I had fun with this but like this will be fun too so I

don't think that if if you want to be single right now um I think that's totally fine but I just I wouldn't put yourself in a box of being like you don't have to switch this flip from being like I'm single switch this flip no flip this switch anyone else catch that you don't have to be like oh i'm gonna be single right now okay now i'm looking for a relationship i think you can just thrive and exist and be open to people and i also think if you search for relationship that's when like you date people who aren't usually so solid right i think that it's both ways too because i know i have a lot of single friends that give themselves this mantra that i love to be single when deep down they kind of want a companion you know and they won't let themselves admit that

because it feels like insecure or vulnerable or it just makes them embarrassed in some way. So I think admitting to yourself that when the right person comes along, being open to that is great. And then in the meantime, working on all the things for yourself that make you the best version of yourself so that you attract, you know, the best partner that you can is like the best way to think about it. You sound like very kind of carefree and fun because a lot of people, I think, overanalyze this, especially when they're single of like i want a relationship no i'm independent and good and then you get caught in this headspace of like what do i actually want and what am i allowed to want and you're allowed to want and get both of those things yeah and i think it's i think it's it's

about like you're like being open to meeting people and when you like go on dates and stuff i think you're in a really great place because you're not you enjoy being single so you're not like oh fuck i need to get wifed up asap because i'm so like bored or lonely or whatever so you can actually like you're in the best position to go on dates and have a clear level head and really spend time with people that you actually like and i think that's the cool thing like for me like i like i enjoy being single and i like being in a relationship but i like being in a relationship with someone i really like right i don't really like you i don't i'd rather fucking be single yeah it's a job it's not a relationship anymore it just becomes this other job you have

to do that's so not fulfilling when you have a choice to make it different yeah um also you're 22 so this is probably the most transitional point of your life where you start thinking about marriage you start thinking about kids you start thinking about like what's next chapters uh in your life kind of thing so it's great for you to realize cool you had a long-term relationship but you can do that a lot of single people get really scared when they're single for a long time that they can't have a healthy relationship that was me I was I was three months maximum and I'd be like I hate you I never want to see you again no but yeah you know exactly you're saying you know you can do it and that should be a good comfort yeah yeah so look for the right one yeah you'll be

fine plus you can have kids way later now oh you can have marriages way later like everything there's there's a whole like traditional idea of like graduate get a job get married have kids is completely destroyed now you can do whatever feels right for you okay we are going to go on to a commercial but uh we will be right back thanks to rx bar for supporting don't blame me rx bar is a whole food protein bar made with 100 whole ingredients and no bs such as no added sugar artificial colors artificial flavors preservatives or fillers rx bars are made with a few simple clean ingredients where every ingredient serves a purpose for example egg whites guess what they do they are a main source of its protein and they're easy for your body to absorb they're also gluten

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order you can visit treehutwatches.com slash blame and enter the promo code blame at checkout that's treehutwatches.com slash blame and promo code blame okay guys we are back and on to the next call hi i am 21 and i'm going through the dilemma on whether i should go back to college i took the semester off hoping to kind of get my shit together and I've learned through that that I don't think I have college material but unfortunately I feel like my family is not going to accept that answer and it's very stressful. I ended up going to an out-of-state college where I knew nobody and I'm a senior or I would be in my senior year and I have

no friends except for my boyfriend and that is it I've had probably the worst college experience I can imagine everyone always talks about college being the best years of their life but all I found was depression and anxiety and terrible people and it's just not a very warming place that I think I want go back to um i ended up moving away after my junior year because i just couldn't handle being in the town anymore i moved in with my sister who started grad school at a college about an hour away so i decided that was my chance to get away and i love it but i don't know if i actually want to go back to school i don't want to do retail for the rest of my life and i loved what

I was studying I started studying social work because I wanted to help people like me and unfortunately I can't do that if I don't go back to school so I am stuck at what to do girl same you went to college I went to college it was the worst experience worst experience of my entire life I hated it so much and I yeah and no one told me that I was so sad because it wasn't the best years of my life and I couldn't separate myself I kept thinking this has to be the best years of my life everyone else is having fun and I'm not and I was miserable for all four years of it and it was wasn't until I got away from it and I started like working in a career and making friends with people I enjoy and things like that that I gave myself permission that it was okay

that those weren't the best years of my life and people who do have the best years of their life in college don't necessarily have the most fulfilling life after fulfilling career either that like four-year degree i mean i i lasted a year and six months in college like you're already excelling way past me i dropped out um funny enough uh i was talking about this with claudia salewski the youtuber beyond beauty star is she still beyond beauty star no i think it's just her full name we're talking about this recently because i saw her and she was like do you remember you dropped out of college we were at playlist live and you submitted your final um whatever my final like essay or something. And I, as I was doing that, she was literally feeding me like a bagged

wine and I was slapping the bag as like, you're dropping out of college. So I was like, I have that great memory. Um, but yeah, you're, you've already lasted far longer than me. I think I also like you're saying I got such a hard time with not, not only like my expectations, not being mad of having fun, but I honestly, every single one of my friends I went to high school with had an amazing college experience. They fucking loved it. And I didn't even know it became something that was wrong with me that it was like oh I'm not trying hard enough I'm doing all of these things wrong so I fucking joined a sorority and I had like the literally the worst people in my entire life yeah and it was it was so hard for me to not blame myself and then when I dropped out

I no one was emotionally I mean I the reason I dropped out is because I could then be financially independent and support myself but nobody supported me like my close friends who to this day will still apologize for being like I'm so sorry that we like we're very anti you dropping out of school but everyone in my life was just no you have to stay you have to stay and I'm like no offense all of you guys I can't do this like yeah I'm not like I know me and I know my limits and I can't do this and it's also you don't have control because I'm paying for an apartment and I'm doing this on my own right but the one thing I would say though is if you if you loved what you're studying and you like that aspect of it I had a one of my best friends two years younger

than me and she had a very similar experience to me in college but what she's doing now is she's treating it like kind of like how high school is minus the social aspect where she's not living on campus right she's going to taking classes as if it's like a night school yep and i think you need you if you can separate and just be like you know what this experience was not for me like the social aspects of college but i really like i do it to get the degree like that's what it's there for it doesn't have to be this experience related thing yeah that's the only way even after i graduated like i stayed all four years because one i i got a full ride so i didn't have to pay for it so i felt like guilty if i dropped out in any way but after my first semester i literally

had all of these uh transfer applications filled out to all these different colleges my mom was like just stay one more semester and then i met a guy and started dating him and that became my only friend on campus so really a similar story but I even after I graduated was so like attached to the bummer that I felt that I didn't do it right I didn't do college right and the people that I would meet in New York all had these amazing stories from college and I would be like so resentful of them and myself because I had nothing to compare it to and I would just like have this wave of just depression because I kept thinking I did it wrong yeah but then when I finally was able to separate and realize the value in my college experience was the education if you

think of it solely as a means to education and not as a means to these amazing stories that you're going to retell about your glory days years and years later because it's not sometimes and i've had way more fun as an adult after college than ever being there but the only uh the opportunities that i've had after college uh in you know the creative world came because i had an education because i interned at different places because i started actually my career part there and then my socializing came way later so i think like you're saying if you uh compartmentalize that this is solely for education something that you really genuinely enjoy treat it that way and don't treat it that you need to get social stories out of this that you need to get memories out of this

You can make memories throughout your entire life. It doesn't just think about like when you were in high school, those four years, you think in that moment that these are the most important years of your life and everything is so like high highs, low lows, that when you have separation from that, you can look back and think, how silly was I to think that that was the most important and know that that will happen again with you in college. Yeah, yeah. It's a means to an end.

And I think that's just kind of and especially what you're saying with what you want to do. um i think i think that's what i would say and then i also think if you can schedule your class what i did before i dropped out i scheduled all of my classes on two days of the week so i did tuesdays thursdays so i don't have to spend i would get there in the morning and i would just like power straight through as much as i could and then i would leave so you're not like oh well there i'm around lunch who am i gonna sit and hang out with if you can strategize that if you can take any of those courses to complete online that's it too if there's any like night classes and stuff like that just getting it done doing it over the summer yeah do the coursework

I mean and there's tons of stuff when you look into colleges too that like secret programs that you didn't even know existed or secret ways to get your degree without having to be actively on campus the whole time most schools now do have online programs so you can get your full degree yeah I would totally ask and then also you don't have like I the experience part I understand but like my my friend is currently in the dilemma with her family that she's the one who was talking doesn't is not into the experience and is kind of doing it as if it's a like a night school kind of thing and her thing is like she doesn't want to walk at graduation which is also fine like my parents made me I didn't want mine to so so so bad but I think you can if you can separate the

experience wise and then also if you can kick this out and do it as full-time as you can while still like main like doing it like education working classes full-time not the social aspects of it um I think you're gonna be able to get an internship and get a job and then make friends with people who are awesome and now even as an adult I can say I think aside I think I have maybe three adult friends who went to college and one of them is Lily who like I'm like that's not a real school you went to school I went to visit I'm like this is Disneyland so it's it's the idea of not amounting to anything it's you know that's not true but I would also just say I as much as it sucks I I did not get support from anyone in my life for dropping out of school for years and

that was something that I just had to deal with because I knew what was better for me than they did at that point and you just even if even if people are going to give you a hard time for like not living up the experience like my friends used to give me shit they're like well why don't you just try I'm like I did I am and it's not working like we're at different schools right we're different people who look for different things and friends and all that stuff um and i think you just need to value your own happiness and eventually everybody is gonna forget about it you no one knows your experience other than yourself yeah so people can assume whatever they want but they'll never truly know what you're going through inside your brain and in

so you have to give yourself permission that this isn't the experience you thought it would be and that's okay yeah yeah and you're just talking to three people did you hate college do you know No, I love college. Okay, well, fuck. I'm talking to two people who fucking didn't say anything. And it's also okay for people to enjoy their college experience. That is also what I've learned, is that I can't be mad at other people for enjoying their time.

I hated my best friend, all of her fucking college friends, I hated so much. Like, oh, you fucking bitches, making my best friend love college and she would drop out with me. Oh, you fuckers. But I also have friends, like, I had so much fun after college when I moved to New York

and I started doing comedy. And I have so many friends that graduated college and were miserable right out of college that I'm sure would resent me for having so much fun out of school rather than in school the way they were so everyone matures in their social scene at different times yeah you'll be fine you're yeah you'll survive you'll amount to things okay on to the next one I am 24 years old and I was recently diagnosed with herpes about two years ago I was in a relationship for five years with the same guy and we recently broke up in March of 2017 so as I'm adventuring out

and being intimate with other people I really just don't know how to tell anyone the guy that I was with for five years um was okay with it I told him immediately and he was fine he was like whatever I love you the same um unfortunately we are not together and he sucks so now I just don't know how to tell other people I have been intimate with a few other guys and I haven't said anything while I am very cautious and I do you know take care of everything um I just don't know how to address the issue if someone does become serious in my life so if you have any advice on that that would be great can someone tell me more about herpes what i need i need a sex education on herpes it's a sexually transmitted disease well it can lay dormant in most men and so they

never get it and usually in women you like notice outbreaks right okay and is there two kinds and we're assuming this is not well there's different kinds because it's ones where people get cold sores their whole life so we're assuming this is not the cold sore one i'm that's my assumption okay um and this is a sucky situation yeah you can't if you're if you it's like a condom can't transfer it i don't know i honestly don't know enough about it to be able to give like real medical advice about it um my initial reaction is that that sucks but it's great that you got tested and you figured out that you have it because from my understanding a lot of people have it their whole lives and sleep around and give it to people without knowing that they

even have it three million people in the u.s yeah it's like the most common every year yep wow um i mean i would assume my it sucks it's hard to like tell someone something that might feel i remember i got bed bugs in my apartment and it was one of those things where i would get bit and i just felt like embarrassed because I felt like I was dirty or something and it wasn't it was just the apartment itself had these things in it and so I like people would be like what is that like they couldn't tell and I just felt so embarrassed like that I had bed bugs and that people were assuming things about me but the my brain just goes to what do you want from a partner you're going to eventually want someone that's completely honest with you so you have to treat others with

that same kind of integrity that you would want from someone and I think there's as rough at it as it is to say it right off the bat there's something that if you then wait till you're serious with someone I think that's just if you've already slept with somebody and you're not telling them you decide that you're going to get serious with this person and then you tell them that's going to be bad that's hard that's a little bit of a betrayal thing and like you're saying like the guy or the girl who you want to be with um or whoever it is that you want to end up with that person just like your ex-boyfriend who was understanding and totally was cool with it and you dated for five years that's another kind of relationship you want and if it scares people

off then great like they're not the right ones exactly and i think you just have to kind of rip off the band-aid and start getting into the practice of telling people up front and be like hey i know this sounds crazy or gross or whatever you might feel but i owe it to you to be honest i of herpes and then go from there and it'll become easier every time you tell someone i mean it won't become easy but it might get slightly easier every single time and for you become a more casual conversation because if you're presenting it as if this is the biggest tragedy in the universe then that's how they're going to receive it so a lot of it comes from the way you talk about it with them if you're informed about what it is if you get you know all the medical information about

it that you can and the way that it affects your body and you can just be very blunt and just normalize it in some weird way because it is i mean there's three million people a year they're diagnosed with are diagnosed in the u.s yes that's i mean that's that's a lot and you'll probably find that you meet someone that goes i also have herpes i'm glad you brought this up first and i think you can make it a conversation about like being tested if you're like going to sleep with if you are getting into it with somebody you're like hey i just want to know the last time that you uh were tested if you have anything you want to share with me right here i'm giving you this opportunity to share something so i'm also going to share something right and

making it so because it is it's people's own sexual history and their sexual health um this isn't like this baggage thing that you bring into a relationship or anything like that this is something that you're dealing with on your side of it and then you also have to be like i'm dealing with this i'm not apologetic of it and i'm not going to assume that you're not dealing with something. So I'm going to ask you because this is so normal. Right. And I mean, it sounds like you've gotten ahead of it and you are, you know, treating yourself as like well as you can in this situation that I mean, you would if you slept with someone a couple of times, then they told you that they've had herpes the whole time. How would you feel? Yeah. Feel kind of shitty about

that situation. And so you've taken I think a lot of adults don't take the initiative to get tested because they're afraid of what the results will be and so you've done one of the most mature things that a human can do is like figure out what's going on with your body and so it's a great opportunity like you were saying to just have a conversation about like i value myself enough to get checked and have my health like figured out so what's going on with you yeah and i think you also this i don't want this to sound bitchy or anything like that but you also no matter how safe you are and all of that stuff you need to let other people make the choice to sleep with somebody who has herpes even if it's not active and all that stuff you're taking away that choice and

i'm assuming that you probably got it from someone who didn't give you the choice the choice and i think no and i fully trust that you're especially with women it's so much it is like so much safer because you know when things are happening but i think you i mean and not just make this like a consent issue but like that's something that at least for me like I I like to know everything that's going on oh yeah I don't want to have any sort of variables and no matter how much I trust somebody I need them I want you need to instill the trust in other people and give people the opportunity to surprise you and I think there is a little bit of embarrassment of like oh well I don't well what if they don't want to like sleep with me because of that you have to give you have

to let people choose that that's what they want to choose and not telling them I think is just as hard as it is it's just taking away that and like what if like what if like there's a small chance that somehow you pass it on to this person and you end up dating this person and they're like what the hell and you're like I'm sorry that was me and I didn't tell you right and then yeah it's only the it's only going to get harder to tell someone the longer you wait yeah and so you do yourself a service and just get it out in the open I mean it sucks and there's no way to be like I wish I could go back in time and not have this it's unfortunate but you're handling it so just give yourself the best chance with new people that you meet that hey all my cards are on the table

and if they don't take the cards get a different player yeah get a new player yeah yeah i just want to share some medical information for oh yeah i would love to know so um you should be aware that even if you use condoms um the condom may not cover areas that you still have herpes even if you don't see it and so you can still spread it that way and you can also spread it from skin shedding where you don't have visible herpes whoa um so condoms don't fully protect you from getting herpes well and see isn't this insane that we're all adults and we don't know this information and and then for your partner there are anti-herpes medications that you can take so you can if you're telling your partner ahead of time um then they can be protected beforehand

yeah well i think of it also um in in the gay community a huge thing on every on every gay dating app you have to say like if you're positive hiv positive or not okay and that's something where it eliminates that awkward conversation because you're putting that out in the open with this dating app um or hookup apps or anything like that but you'll you will also find so many other people who have that there right so i think the amount that you can normalize it just because there are so many people you're going to be more surprised yeah um who else is affected by it but you don't know who you talk to then you mention that you have it and they realize they haven't been tested and they go get tested and find out they might have it too yeah and if anything you've

created an opportunity where they get to know more about their own bodies yeah and i think if you can you tell them about like all the information that you have and so you're showing that because i think the the assumption from your end might be that it comes across that either you're a slut or that you're not responsible sexually but if you can be like provide this information and explain all of this stuff and like say your sexual history and like what happened with this and the measures and like so there are medications you can take this whole thing it shows somebody that it's like oh okay cool this is like you having asthma and having an inhaler right like it's it's not being like oh i don't want to i'm gonna go to a spin class and i'm not gonna bring

my inhaler because i don't want anybody to know kind of a thing or if you have an allergy and you just still eat whatever it is because yeah because you don't want to be that person that has the limitation yeah i also say just make a parody song and play it for them on the first day yeah and put it in like your bio of all your social media stuff like hi i'm so-and-so and i've got the herp it's cute when you say it that way yeah the herp it's cute yeah howard the herp turn into a cartoon character that's my dad's name I hope this is a PSA for everybody to get tested

which I should probably do yeah we've had this conversation before get tested on the podcast oh okay wait what if I have something that's like so dormant that I wouldn't have known I mean that seems to be the thing that happens to millions of people every year okay so I'm not getting tested that's not helping

no but then that stops you maybe from spreading it to someone else too and then they spread it to someone else and it stops the chain or I could just make mods just he's not allowed to leave we're together forever yeah okay on to the next one I'm 16 years old I ride the bus every day in the morning and on Monday I missed my bus and this kid Brandon was like oh my dad can give you ride to my bus stop and we can catch the bus together so I was like okay cool like my mom won't murder me for missing the bus that's awesome and um so he took me to his bus stop and his dad dropped us off it was just us there and um he like I wasn't flirting I wasn't doing

anything to like cause this I guess and he like grabbed my boob and he said like your boobs look amazing and then he like grabbed my ass and he was like your ass looks amazing and I didn't really know what to do in this situation I was just very quiet and I didn't talk but like he continued talking to me and like at one point was kissing on my forehead which made me so uncomfortable and um the next day on the bus I was asleep and I woke up and his hand was on my thigh and I was just kind of having like a freak out panic attack like to where I just sort of pretended to still be asleep so I wouldn't have to deal with the situation because I was scared of what would happen if I like flicked his hand off my thigh or and the thing is I have a boyfriend who

I have not told him that this is going on because I'm scared of how he's going to react and I have been sexually abused in my past which I never dealt with that because that was by a full-grown man and all this stuff is really doing is bringing back memories and for me with my boyfriend of two years um it took me months to like be around him without stuttering like I'm very nervous around men especially and um apparently this guy says this stuff to other girls very often like he'll grab a lot of girls asses and boobs whether it's in front of their boyfriends or not he just thinks it's okay and I don't know if I'm exaggerating but like every time I see him in the hallways or every time he texts me like I feel sick and I've just kind of been ignoring him lately

and trying to find somewhere else to sit on the bus and I don't know what to do I don't know how to handle this situation I don't know if I'm exaggerating also and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about this so thank you this one makes me so fucking sad yeah and mad oh i want to i'm like give me this boy's twitter handle i want to ruin his life i'm like where's give me his phone give me his address i'm gonna beat the shit out i know violence is not the answer no but that this none of this is okay that he's doing absolutely none of this is okay and he needs to be called out for it yeah this is also the thing the things that stick out to me is it's uh you're first of all you're not exaggerating like no at all um and i think this is something i wish

i wish people had instilled in me when i was younger that in every situation if you feel some way that's valid it doesn't matter if you're feeling this way because you're overreacting to something you have to address the way that you're feeling regardless of what caused that feeling that's that's the ultimate that's the ultimate thing um and also even okay so not to make this like a whole sexual assault psa even if you were flirting even if anything was like that it's not okay yes is yes no doesn't like it's not the whole thing anymore we're like well no means no it's like no yes means yes there has to be some sort of consent at the forefront of it not the feeling of being like well i didn't say no it's like well no unless you say yes it's a it should just

automatically be assumed that it's not okay um and i i i mean i the thing is i think this isn't as much as i think cathartically uh if i was in your situation i'm like oh i would just completely tell him off but i wouldn't at all there's such a fear and a shame associated with it and then you start backtracking in your brain of what did i do am i exaggerating this did i invite this on yeah you give him permission to do this and that's not okay yeah as i mean this you're seeing in media is being called out a lot lately and so things are shifting and it's really brave of to even like leave this voicemail about this situation because this boy shouldn't be doing this and he has no one telling him no yeah he clearly doesn't have a good father figure or

good male friends that hold him accountable to being a a respectful human being in the world and also this is the thing i'd also say is because um oh god so i was listening to not promote someone else's podcast um anna ferris's podcast she just did a whole thing talking about um the the me too movement and they talked about the uh like the the female giggle thing where someone says says something really uncomfortable and really inappropriate and we're so used to just giggling and laughing that kind of stuff off and then from that point on you feel like i've let this in and the first time that someone goes too far regardless and the first time that he like grabbed your boob you might feel that because you didn't say anything that was a yes and then that

in that moment you've now consented to this so you're like but i can't backtrack because i've let him do these other things before regardless of feeling uncomfortable which just isn't true that was not a consensual thing and you get put in a situation where you feel fearful and you feel uncomfortable and you're surprised you don't know how to react and i think ultimately the you need to tell if you don't feel comfortable telling your parents or something like that you need to tell your school and i think if you don't again i i think if you don't feel comfortable going in and sit sitting down and saying it leave a letter and say that and then or if there's a teacher that you really like you really get along with and you know making sure that somebody you tell somebody

who can do something about this and as much as i as much as you've said like you feel like you're exaggerating all that stuff you've said that he's doing this to other girls right so you can look at this if it feels too like oh i feel like i'm causing trouble and this is like i need to get over this don't look at this from your own perspective then look at this for the other people that he's doing this to and the other people that he might be doing this to and the that they're just as scared as you to say something or potentially could be scared to do something or say something so you could not only be one outing someone that's doing something wrong but two protecting potential girls that he would do this to in the future so this is

as much a validation of your own feelings and a protection of you know people that he comes across in life later on and then you won't you might be surprised about how much you will be surprised by how much support you have in your life against things like this especially if this is a prevalent thing that he's been doing and something that's happened to you in the past whoever did it to you in the past also did something wrong yeah and the only way to right wrongs is by calling them out by saying this is wrong and you're also young enough that hopefully he's hopefully he'll be able to comprehend and understand moving forward how not okay this is but when you when you kind of let people do terrible things they're like sick i'm getting away with it like i can keep

fucking doing these awful things and i think about to guys that i knew in middle school where it was that thing of like they would see their older brothers like like touch their girlfriend's butt and then they would do that and you feel it's that thing of being like i'm getting attention but i don't like this right but i don't really understand why or what this is and i i feel uncomfortable and there's something that's so insane to me that women and yeah women and men but when you're in the situation of being like a victim in this case you don't want to make the other person feel uncomfortable which i'm like they're making you feel so fucking uncomfortable and you're worried that you're like oh but is my discomfort at my lack of consent gonna make you

feel bad because i don't want that which is it's just such a vicious cycle um as you deserve power basically it's a power move this person has power in this situation and they're addicted to that sense of power that you need to take your power back from this person and call them out however you want that's most comfortable for you because it's not a comfortable situation all the way around uh and so you just have to start making forward moves of letting people know if it's your boyfriend that you feel comfortable with if it's your parents if it's a teacher if it's Even just like to a friend or posting it on Facebook or whatever you want to do, just getting it out there is important and stops starts to stop the cycle. Joe Biden started this campaign movement called It's On Us years ago that's targeted at sexual assault on college campuses.

And the whole campaign philosophy is that if you're seeing someone, because it's not instilled in young men to say something when they see another young man doing something at a party in a social setting that they know is wrong. Yeah, bro code. Right. People don't speak up. And so the whole campaign It's On Us is it's on us as a community when we see something bad happening to take a stand against it, to call it out. so if you let people know you'll be surprised at how supportive people will be and not to be like super fucking dark and i'm not suggesting you watch this but i've been watching the keepers anyone watch the keepers no okay so good but um it's it's set in i don't even when is it set the 70s okay that's what i was thinking it's set in the 70s and um one of the premises of this show

it's a true crime show again really not recommending it very dark very gruesome but um it's uh these all of these women were went to school together and they're only now uh talking about as adults they all finding out that they were sexually abused by the same person and they went all through high school of not saying anything because they thought they were the only one and they thought there was all this responsibility to like that they they put so much blame on themselves for this specific experience and now they're these like elderly women who are sitting around and talking about this person who's was way older than who's long since gone but they're all realizing that these classmates that they had were going through the exact same thing that they

were right and i think that's something to be said that if he's this comfortable doing this to you he's doing it to other people yeah i mean look at harvey weinstein right now as soon as someone like started saying something all these dominoes started following all these other women being like yeah me too me too me too the whole movement yeah and i think i think it's it's such a fitting thing in the times right now that hopefully um i don't think you said where you're from but um hopefully your administration is going to be very uh as opposed to other times and i think they usually can belittle this a lot i think they mean liability wise they kind of really gotta take these things seriously um yeah god i fucking hate this guy me too this guy sucks a

dick so much oh i want to kill him i want to give you a hug and i want to fucking kill this kid except without violence just with words and emotion right do we have another one that's it we're on producer's corner okay oh yeah producer's corner is where oh jack's already smiling from the corner oh it wasn't me this time i swear it wasn't you this time um what's producer's corner it's when jack picks his uh favorite call those were air quotes guys and it's a podcast um but also my favorite part though is it's always it's usually jack recording you or getting mitchell to record it but every time it's been jack no none of the guests have realized it's jack like they're like he calls in with a question yeah and yeah yeah and people are like oh wow and i'm like

do you not realize that was that's forced this whole fucking time you just did not make the connection my friends are very smart actors did not go to even high school um but i guess this is not jack this time no this time we have a call back from well she explains everything in the call she explains everything so we can just play it just go on in blind you'll be fine hey Megan this is just a follow up voicemail

I was on your latest episode about my friend that is gay and I was like wondering and asking you about how to go about it so I took your advice and just held quiet and let him do his thing and just waited and

respected his decisions and how he wanted to go about it with However, it was going to unroll, unravel, and it ended up going really well. He came over last week and came out to me, and I met his boyfriend, and they are so happy, and he's living his best life, and I could not be more happy for him. So he was never nervous about it, like you were saying, from the start. He just needed his time to figure it out. But I wanted to thank you for your advice and tell you to keep on keeping on.

That was so sweet of you. Thank you for everything. And yeah, bye. That's so sweet. Oh my God. I'm so happy. I didn't like, I, I'm so excited. I think it was the first time someone's actually called back and been like, so I took your

advice and it went well. And, uh, my world's a mess right now. As opposed to girls like didn't take your advice, went into dinner with my boyfriend and his twin brothers who i all secretly slept with and i'm like yeah you're done goofed no this makes me so happy that's so sweet wait so the issue was that she knew her best friend was gay yeah she knew her friend was gay and he wasn't coming out to her and wanted to know how to get him to come out to her and i think what i had told and she was very accepting and overly accepting to uh and all of that but what i i think what i had ended up telling her was i was like you're

probably not the issue of who he's struggling to come out to you're gonna be the last person because a you're saying that you're like i already know i'm like he knows that you know yeah deep down and he's gonna have to deal with coming out to all these other people so you're an easy one like that kind of thing yeah you're not gonna be yeah my when my brother came out uh my younger brother he was uh in senior year of high school and i was in college and i think i was the first person he told that was a member of my family because i was just you know we were closest easy one under the belt exactly and then he had in his mind this like checklist of family members in the order that he was going to tell them based on like who was going to be the most

difficult and my dad was definitely last even though he's the sweetest most accepting guy it was just like a son dad thing that he was worried about and so I didn't even think about one I was like that's great I didn't even really put it together that he was gay before this but when he told me I was like that makes sense cool good for you are you dating what's going on but then i didn't even think about the second half of that of his hierarchy of who was going to be the more serious dramatic emotionally taxing conversation and how that's important to him to go in that order and it's his choice it's like it's that you whatever even as like neurotic as it may seem or nobody else can kind of see the rhyme or reason to why people do things in a

certain manner a certain order you kind of just have to like let them do their thing and i mean yeah it's also like i've had i have friends who've never officially come out to me which i'm like i mean i know right and like you date men but like there was never that situation of being like we've grown up together you're like so i have to come out to you right i'm like you come out to other people but like for me it's kind of like oh well why why mutual knowledge yeah why do i have to do this thing again so right very happy for your friend um and i'm glad you took my advice and it worked and i'm excited for him and his relationship and for your guys's relationship now because now that you both are on like the actual same page with each other i'm sure it's

way more fun to be around each other it's just like oh no one's hiding anything and no one's knowing that someone's hiding something yeah and so i'm sure there's like a stiltedness that might be lifted which is probably really refreshing and you can worry about him less now knowing that you're like you you can sometimes absorb that like oh are you stressed are you feeling bad i want to relieve that right so now you guys are kind of like oh sick we're all in the know you get to be each other around each other that's so fun so fun so freeing yay so guys uh i hope you enjoyed this episode grace thanks so much for being on it thank you for having me i feel like i just went through a giant therapy session for myself great advice oh no i mean i'm literally

like i i can dish it out i don't take it so i'm like this is all just mantras to myself basically this whole time no but it's really good oh yeah i i feel like it was also nice because you've got different life experience than me which is great because i think we've i mean i love my friends have been guests but some of them haven't even gone to high school and they're like i don't know i don't know how you deal with that okay leo i love you but yeah um but yeah no this was fun thanks so much for having me loved it okay guys um if you enjoyed this episode we'd love for you to leave a review on the apple podcast app that would be amazing and if you are a caller from a previous episode and you want to give us an update did you take my advice did it work super well if

you took my advice and it didn't work i feel like you should also call as much as i'm don't want to know but then you can give advice for the new problem that you've created have i caused new problems have i stirred your pots um yeah you guys can leave us voicemails at 310-694-0976 and again international callers you can email us a voice memo at meganpodcast at gmail.com god very excited to hear it all grace where can we find you on the internet oh true oh i'm just at grace hobig on all social medias just chilling there and you can listen my podcast not too deep megan's been on an episode and you have to come back and do another episode i love your podcast i listen i've listened to i think every episode that's very kind and i watch them on full screen

well not anymore but but you should come on and we should do an advice centric one because now you've done all this you're an expert now yeah i'll be less nervous i think i black i told jack i blacked out after the first episode i was like i don't they're doing well i'm like i don't know what i did i don't know i was like i want two more hours of talking to her about everything she's done well i can get a lot of words in a minute there you go talking real fast well guys um go follow grace in on social media not in real life because i fucking saw that guy who followed you with his car on twitter that was creepy that was really creepy yeah everything was fine but it's amazing what happens when you start like a blatantly filming thing oh i was like fuck yeah

yeah no it was really really creepy everything's okay though yeah good because i feel like a lot of serial killers live in Palm Springs. Probably. Deserts. Like rooms to bury bodies. Yeah, that's a statement. I mean,

I also love Palm Springs but I also love like creepy murder shit. Well, I'm glad that I lived there half time so. Well, now you know just bring your camera.

Will do. Have your DSLR wherever you go. And my camera and my bear spray. Yeah, perfect. Okay guys, well, I will see you

in two weeks. Goodbye. Don't Blame Me is a production by me. Produced and directed by Jack Ferry. Associate producer Melissa DeMontz.

Edited by Melissa DeMontz. post-production sound by Chris Henry and music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter. I will see you guys in two weeks and don't blame me if your life burst into flames before then.