Don't Blame Me! - S1E2: Thirsty Boys?

Episode Date: April 28, 2017

I’m back again, slightly orange (from a spray tan), and with clear vision (from lasik!), with Episode 2 of “Don’t Blame Me!” with Meghan Rienks!In this week’s episode, I answer your questions on scheduling sex, drunk texting your ex, and keeping your thirst in check. Look I can can rhyme!So many of you called, but I could only get to a few questions this episode. Call back and I’ll get to as many questions as I can in the coming weeks.Just call and leave me a message at...[phone]...with your question, age, and as much detail as possible. And I will do my best to offer my words of wisdom.If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t blame me if it ruins your life. lol jk my advice is THE BEST.[phone]Call!Thanks to HelloFresh for supporting our podcast. Go to HelloFresh.com and use the code blame30 to get $30 off your first week of deliveries.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by hellofresh.com and you guys can use the code blame 30 to get 30 off your first week of deliveries so go to hellofresh.com enter in the code blame 30 and get 30 off free delivery and go get you some food nom nom nom it's time for the podcast. Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode two of my podcast. Don't blame me with Megan Rinks, which I feel it's going to get real redundant real fast that I keep saying my own name when I say it's with me. And you know who it is because you've already tuned in. And if you didn't, welcome. Follow me on Instagram. It's cute. Yeah, it is. Okay, guys, I'm super excited. it. Episode one for personally not to toot my own horn. Oh, God, I think it sounds great. I feel

like I'm a real podcaster. And every time we record, I think I can suddenly be on like a chain smoker song because I think I have a great voice for radio. So if I'm gonna, you know, give up this whole acting thing. But I mean, I got a nose job. I shouldn't give up the whole acting thing. I'm trying. Oh, okay. Well, episode two, it's time. So for those of you guys who don't know don't blame me is my advice podcast where i give absolutely amazing life-changing stellar advice that's going to help you get a job get a boyfriend slash girlfriend and make a million dollars with a little asterisk at the end which is me saying that i can't promise any of those things but uh basically what happens is you guys call my number uh we don't slide into dms here

not yet you're just gonna call a number you leave a voicemail and i play it on the air and then i give you some absolutely amazing advice. So if you guys have not called in yet, first of all, do you have like a social life or something? Like, what are you doing that's better than just calling and leaving multiple voicemails on voicemails to this podcast? Which also, by the way, we can totally tell when you're leaving multiple because you have the same voice every time, which is totally chill. Awesome. Fine by it. But if you guys need the number again, It is 310-694-0976. My phone number again is 310-694-0976. It's also not actually my personal phone number. So if you're like trying to text me and invite me to a party, first of all,

off brand. I don't like parties. Secondly, just slide into my Twitter DMs or Instagram because I can check those. But we'll pretend if I don't respond, pretend I don't check them. awkward okay great guys well um yeah welcome to my podcast you've never been here before and if you've been here before thank you so much for coming again it is great to have you you look awesome i hope your ears are ready for some sounds of me and intellectual stuff also we have uh jack ferry here so jack give a little hello hello how are you megan i am great You seem great. You seem very tan.

Oh, wow. Jack, this is an audio podcast. We don't even need to address this. Well, for those of you listening at home, how would you describe the color of your skin right now at this moment? Oh, like Donald Trump got it down with an Oompa Loompa and you dunked him. In a mud wrestling match.

Yes. And he lost a mud wrestling match. That's what I look like. Okay, guys, we're recording this before Coachella and I'm getting ready and I have a spray tan and like we're just I just had to get a spray tan an awkward time of day but like I thought we weren't going to address it because this is not filmed on full screen yeah you're just gonna have to imagine it for now for now um until you know you post all those Coachella pics which actually you're gonna be this will come out after Coachella so this will

we'll we'll be we'll all be have enjoyed the uh the benefits of your spray tan yes like and after we rinse off this uh offensive layer but you've had a very busy week I noticed when you read the phone number just now you weren't wearing your glasses i was not wearing my glasses and i was not wearing my contact lenses i got lasik i paid a doctor dr lee who is literally my number one homie he is so funny i paid him to use lasers to slice my eyeballs open and in case anyone wants to know the word that they use which yes is the medical term is a flaps and they peel back the flaps i asked early on if we could refrain from using those words together because i never knew i had such a disdain for them but turns out when you're talking about my eyeballs and what you're

going to do to them while i'm awake i really did not enjoy it so that must have been so weird it was really weird and they gave me one valium and i was like wow this could be part of my morning routine like beauty guru morning routine megan could pop a valium with like her adhd meds and then they were like hey you ready and i was like no this seems like i could conquer target alone like I can't this is not I need more and so they gave me a second one in which case I was hoping to be like as placid as like a still body of water and I was not I was still pretty anxious but uh I was like I was anxious but it was as I was anxious like walking through jello so I couldn't like have any sudden reactions did it hurt um it didn't hurt it was uncomfortable so they like two machines or

whatever and the first one is like the lasery one and it's just like a lot of bright lights and they put numbing drops in your eyes and they clamp your eyeballs open but you don't feel the need to blink which is weird and then they like move your like blind ass over to the next seat and you like lay there and then they do this other stuff and it feels like they're moving your eyeball around with water in your eye and it's just uncomfortable and then you're like whatever it's cool it's fine and then you get home and uh but they don't tell you is like it feels like you like five contact lenses in backwards in your eyes the whole time and they i should have been i should have known it was going to be terrible or the recovery would be terrible when they were

like oh we have these numbing drops you can put in every five minutes and i'm like if you could put something in your eye every five minutes is because like I can only withstand five minutes because I'm in so much pain. And so then I took a sleeping pill and went to bed. And my boyfriend is apparently the worst nurse in the entire world. And he was annoyed with me the whole time. And yeah, it was terrible. But I'm fine now. And the next morning I woke up and I was good. Okay, guys, enough about me. Let's talk about you. Let's get in some calls. So I've been having issues at work. My boss doesn't seem to really like me very much. It's like I'm not appreciated at all and I think she thinks I'm weak because of my inability to say no I'm like

yes man and it's really hard for me to stand up for myself because on one hand I want to and I want that respect but I'm also afraid that if I do stand up for myself it might piss her off like I mean it's like this very delicate balance and I'm almost walking on eggshells and it sucks because it's my first big job out of college and i really like the company i just don't get along with my boss very much i'm an outgoing person never had an issue getting along with anybody before but i know she doesn't like me it's not just in my head others have noticed as well okay some people are just not gonna like you and those people can also happen to be your bosses which sucks and I will also say let's think of the devil wears Prada Miranda Priestley didn't

like Andy because Andy had potential maybe you have a ton of potential and she just doesn't want to like stroke your ego and like make you get all big-headed and you're actually really talented or on the other hand maybe you I wouldn't say maybe you suck at your job but I understand being a yes man to the point where like maybe if you're saying yes to too many things you're not doing anything really that well no offense like don't hate me because like you called this podcast which means you like me and I really don't want to piss you off I mean I want to just be like fuck your boss but like I also want to help you um so I think if you say yes to too many things and you can't actually accomplish anything I think you have to say yes within reason so being able to

say no to things that you know you won't be able to get done in a way that you're proud of so I think if you're putting out work that you're proud of I think that's all that really matters and at the end of the day yeah you're not going to get along with everybody and you can't please everybody But I think having a backbone is different than kind of being difficult. So I think if you know the scope of how well you can do at something, I think just like stay true to that. And if you're saying yes to stuff and it's turning out kind of crappy, like don't put forth work that you're not proud of, because I think that kind of shows off, it shows that you're kind of biting off more than you can chew, which I don't think like superiors kind of appreciate, just because you can also delegate stuff to other people. and I think also I mean I wouldn't like fight back and be sassy because I also do I could say this being like a reverse psychology kind of thing where like she's being mean to you and like wants you to fight back and then when you fight back she's like you're fired you suck so I wouldn't necessarily do that because that could be absolutely terrible but I also think like don't

don't necessarily be a kiss ass but don't be a bitch so like find that really good happy medium point of being like I'm strong and I'm confident and I'm cool and I'm doing my job really really really well and I know what my limits are and but I'm still gonna be nice to you without just being like oh my god I love you like let me kiss your butt actually so I wouldn't do that and then also just like I mean sometimes bosses suck one time I had a director yell at me Jack Ferry by the way this is not about you you didn't do this I just want to let you know that because Jack Ferry direct stuff that I'm in Jackie didn't do this it was a different director who she like hated me and everyone knew she hated me and at first everyone said it was in my head and I was like no guys she

literally hates me I'm like no Megan it's like you're just like you're reading too much into it and I was like no no no she hates me and I remember I was doing a scene and she was the like the door was closed and she was in video village which is basically like where like the directors and stuff like watch what you're doing through monitors and she kept screaming it to me through like through all those doors while I was doing my scene saying like make me believe you I don't believe you and I was like oh my god you're literally the worst you're so terrible and I remember I was like crying and it was awful and it was super super sucky and like to be honest it didn't get better it was like the worst three weeks ever of having like this terrible experience but I got through

it in the end and it was fine but sometimes you have to deal with people who like don't like you for I mean who knows so you can't really make everyone like you but I think if you can make the work something you're proud of and so she can like dislike you for any sort of like social reasons or whatever but can't dislike the work that you're doing that's really all she's there for she's your boss it's like a that sort of thing and then I just don't let that get you down so you can make other work friends and you can band against her and get her fired i'm kidding don't do that that's really bad advice let's go to the next caller one of my best friends uh he graduated last year i'm currently a senior about to graduate um he graduated and he goes to college in a

different state only about three hours away so it's not too far but i'm going to college in chicago which is another four hours out of the way so we'll be we'll be a total of seven hours away but um I have recently discovered I have feelings for him which makes things complicated because uh and all my friends think he has feelings for me just because the way he acts around me but I am kind of scared to uh like confront him or like talk to him about it just because he is one of my best friends and it's like kind of terrifying to talk to him about it because what if it you know what if he doesn't and I just make a fool of myself I'm not really sure how to go about it or what to do really because like if he does have feelings for me and he wants a relationship like

what am I going to do when I go off to college in August and he's then goes back to college in August and we're seven hours apart like you know I'm not entirely sure what to do because I do have such strong feelings and I haven't felt like like this towards anybody and I it kind of scares me a bit because of how strong my feelings are for him he's had a long distance relationship in the past and he didn't like having you know he didn't like that relationship but I don't know again I just don't really know what to do sit on it until after your first week of freshman year college is really really really fun and that's coming from someone who hated college and dropped out after like a year and a half. Seven hours of a long distance relationship I think is doable

if you've been able to start your relationship not long distance but if you're starting a relationship long distance regardless of the fact you've been friends for so long you're just gonna end up pissed off and have no friends in college because you're gonna be the girl who's sitting on Skype talking to her boyfriend and not making any sort of lasting connections also I just lost a subscriber by saying all of this and I don't try I'm not trying to say this to be like mean or blunt or whatever but I think something that happens especially when you have like friends that go away to college or friends that move or something like that you tend to if you're not spending all of your time with somebody and you're spending you're

just seeing them in spurts or just like over text and that kind of stuff it can kind of romanticize your feelings for them I think if you guys had been if it hadn't happened for you guys when you're both like together in the same like town school kind of thing for a relationship I don't necessarily think that I mean like it's only harder now like it would have been easy not that I'm saying like the one that got away Katy Perry style but I mean I would say explore college on your own maybe okay give it like a couple weeks at school that's a lot give it like a semester and if you have not met like a hot dude that you're like I'm super down for you kind of thing then maybe go for it but it's also like your senior year obviously you're like super done with all

of the guys at your high school and you're pretty much done with all of that and so you're gonna like kind of latch on to feelings of a good friend who you've always had like a what-if possibility about but like you're gonna go to college and it's gonna be a it's gonna be like beyond a new like it's not even gonna be like a sea of fish it's gonna be like a freaking buffet of man candy for you to you know swoop on your plate and get like firsts and seconds and all that stuff and And you don't want to be the person who's, like, on a diet at, like, a Marie Callender's buffet. Like, that's terrible. So get the Freshman 15 and boys in your twin XL bed.

Okay, guys, we're going to take a quick break. I need a power nap. Kidding. No, it's just actually a really quick break. So we'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. So thanks to HelloFresh.com for supporting our podcast. It means a lot.

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fry and there was, I'm going to say this quietly because my boyfriend's home, there were supposed to be peanuts in the stir fry, but I just ate them as a snack because they came in this cute little pouch. And I was like, yo, it's like an airplane peanut. And I just ate it. And like, he didn't even miss it because he didn't even know they were there. So not only can you make like full blown meals, you can like steal some ingredients if you're going to make it for like other people later. And they will never know. And all of his amazing food, gumbo, whoa, stir fry, whoa, all of these other delicious things that are amazing. But I made those two recently. That's why they're on my brain. They can be for less than $10 each. So HelloFresh is giving you

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your first week of deliveries and we're back did you miss us yeah you did next call i've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now and in the beginning of our relationship well actually up until a few months ago we were having sex quite often and now it's just kind of slowed down mostly because we don't live together and it's kind of hard to coordinate that kind of thing but I don't want it to be coordinated and my boyfriend doesn't understand that he doesn't get that I want to be romanced and that I don't want there to be such a rush in things. I was just wondering if you could give me some advice on how to explain that to him better to let him see my side of it. Have you considered sex in a car? And if so, do you have access to a car with reclining

seats? Here's the thing. Scheduling sex is not sexy. You know what's less sexy than that? Just not sex at all so here's you either have sex that's scheduled or you don't have sex you can't have it both ways i understand the whole like wanting to be i mean i personally don't understand the wanting to be romancing because romance makes me have goosebumps and not in a good way i get uncomfortable and i get a stomachache but i understand the whole like not just like oh my god we have five minutes of sex great because you're like oh awesome that was so good for you that you came in five minutes and you're just there like awesome i did nothing for me well like it takes girls longer to warm up and get there.

So I understand that aspect of it where it's like, you don't really want to have a quickie in like the stock room, which also do that once in your life because it is so funny. And you can like look back and I'm like, when I was young and cool. She says at 23, which means she did it at like 16.

Hello, my name's Megan. I was terrible. No, it's fine. No. So I think having like quickies or whatever, understand, not mutually satisfying. But if there's like a way for you guys to like, you know like be like making out in your car kind of thing and like letting it escalate so I think

telling him be like hey I understand that like you want to schedule sex and like have this be something where we can like plan it all out and I really don't want the romance of that to go away so I also what I mean by that I don't want the foreplay of that kind of thing to go away so it doesn't matter like scheduling like five minutes be like if we don't have like 25 minutes 30 minutes to do this like we're not gonna do it uh i i wouldn't advise public places because i don't know how old you are and i don't want you to get arrested and i mean you can arrest at any age but i just mean like the severity of this like telling your parents like oh your kids were boating in a park and you're like whoa the slide has a whole new meaning um but i i would say if

you've got like roommates if that's a situation and that kind of thing like figuring out your roommate schedules ahead of time accepting that you're gonna schedule it but scheduling it doesn't mean that it has to be like a quickie little like no foreplay no fun zone kind of thing so find the happy medium or just don't have sex which sounds like a terrible option and to the next call hi megan um uh this is hard to talk about um my dad is uh well this is okay this is a story about my dad my dad is 69 and i am still a minor and recently there have been a lot more problems with him than usual he usually will make accidents um he forgets stuff more easily and he has five kids so it's a lot for him to handle and recently my sister moved into a new

house and he's been helping her with that he gave her a loan of like 60 000 50 000 a big loan and i'm a middle-class family it's it's normal life but recently he's just been more stressed about money and it's affected his health in a bad way and recently my uncle had a heart attack reckon my entire family's very old on my dad's side like my uncle's 75 very old and um well it's put him in this kind of depressing state and whenever he's sick he gets really really scary and he'll shake and um it's just really frustrating seeing him like this and I'm only 14 and all my siblings are in their 20s 30s 40s and um I get the least amount of time with him and um I know that his impending doom won't happen for maybe another 10 20 30 years hopefully hopefully 30 I'm hoping

30. But either way, it's just really, really scary. And I don't know why I just think about it all the time. And it makes me really sad. And I was wondering if you could give me any advice on how you feel I should handle the situation. I know it's an impending thing, death, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, existential crisis. But I don't know, if you could give me your advice on what I should do and how I should calm myself, that would be really great. first of all you're crazy mature for your age like you used a lot of big not even like just using a lot of big words but like i'm sorry you just had existential crisis like holy shit first of all dad should be proud of you because you grew up to be a smart little nugget okay here's

the thing i mean death is like super fucking scary like i'm constantly afraid of death i'm afraid of people who are like my age like randomly dying or like me randomly dying all the time so i don't necessarily think that that's something that you're alone in your fear of I think everyone if everyone says they're not scared of death first of all that's freaky how can you not be scared of death I mean I I get that completely and I think I also come from a family like my dad's definitely my dad's also older so I definitely grew up with more of those fears than like most of like the kids that I grew up with when they like thought of their parents and I think the most important thing that you can do like in those moments and stuff it's like you're always going to

have those fears and you're always going to have that kind of stuff but I think something that could be cool is I actually got my dad this book forever ago that was like stories of like my dad's life or whatever and it has all of these prompts for your dad or whoever in your life to like write like stories of their life and it's like my my first childhood crush was and explaining all this kind of stuff so I think that's a really cool thing to maybe even if it's not in those specific moments, but giving that to him and sitting down with him like once a week or something and having him write those kinds of things down with you and being able to tell you stories or even like recording audio stuff like that on your phone or recording more videos and like making a

point for yourself to like make home videos with you and your dad and that kind of thing. And having that stuff to like look on anytime you start feeling scared or something like that, because I think there's no way to really squash that very natural human fear of death, but being able to instead have have like a video of you guys to like look at or like like oh I want to ask my dad this question of something like this and like kind of have those things that you're building more memories on so I think if you're able to like just in your daily life kind of form something that is like learning more about him which I think is cool because like at least for me like I don't know there's so much stuff like what's the last thing you knew about

your dad when he was like 11 like those kinds of stories and stuff and like once we get older we start to appreciate the kind of like past that our parents have lived and all of those things and I think having something that you can create to look on but like you'll have something to kind of work on in those moments when you get like really nervous or scared of something like that scheduling specific time with him like once a week you guys go on a walk and you don't bring your phones and you just like hang out and talk I think if you fill your time with him with more intentions and less just like chilling out kind of thing and if you schedule those sort of things and you spend like quality time with him

and go out of your way to do that when it's just like you two, I think it makes those like scary moments a little less scary because it doesn't feel like your only moments together are kind of the scary ones, if that's possible.

And we have the next caller. Hi, my name is James Leahy. I am a visually impaired 24 year old who will be moving back onto a college campus in the fall. I am thirsty as fuck. It's been almost four years and that can be hard

and this is the first time not having sex for so long after having sex. And so when I get back on campus, I'll be able to meet girls because I'm into girls. Well, I'm into everybody, but I want a girl. But I also don't want to ruin a relationship by being so thirsty because for me, sex is only worse if you love the other person. And I don't want to be pushy, and I don't want to hurt anyone because I'm too pushy.

I don't want to drive people away because I'm too pushy or creepy or being like, hey, check out my dick. So, um, I need help because sex and love go hand in hand with me and I want to love. I don't want to push,

but I want to get my dick wet. And, uh, shout out to, uh, not too deep, but I just covered you. And I won't blame you, I promise. I'm just very thirsty. Damn, horndog! Keep it in your pants for a little while longer

because you about to go to college, campus with lots of girls who have things for you to stick your dick in uh gross so graphic okay so love and sex are when you have sex with someone you love amazing so great sex with someone you don't love if you're on the same page and it's not like oh you love them and they don't love you yeah because that's terrible but you can have sex with people you don't love like consensual sex wrap it up don't get an std it sounds like you've had great sex with people you love and maybe not great sex people you don't love but that doesn't mean that you have to associate the two i'm trying to put on

a funny voice so it sounds less like spread your legs not that voice brother okay if you've got this like crazy horndog thing going on for you in your life right now and like your right or left hand is not doing it good for you and you want like a girl or whatever I think get that out of your system first before you start like looking for a girlfriend because if you're like looking for a girlfriend and looking to fall in love to like have sex with someone oh my god that's so much pressure also there's a lot of pressure on the girl too not just you but it's also like gonna potentially have you lower your standards in things that you you're gonna actually like stop looking for things and not like oh she's got a vagina check great I want to date you whack me up

or husband me up one of those things get the sex out of your system because no matter what the person you love and person you end up with you're gonna have great sex with but you can also have like fun cool weird experimental strange sex with people that you're not in love with and then by the time that like your dick is tired and you're like i need a break and you can like meet people for their personalities and appreciate them for like who they are as a human and not just for like a warm morphosy to like stick your dick in you're actually gonna like have a lasting relationship that's not based on the fact that you're like hey want to be my girlfriend great let me rail you enjoy other vaginas until you are ready to fall in love with somebody for all of

them not just their anatomy and also condoms please because you sound so horny don't get anyone pregnant like don't get anybody pregnant and you also sound funny so like just be your natural funny self and uh panties be dropping no that's not like how it works but you know and to the next call so i may have drunk texted my ex-boyfriend last night telling him that i miss him but i also could never trust him considering that i know he lied to me but also i told him i missed him because he told me he missed me first but now i'm scared things are to be really really awkward between us when we go back to school and have to be in class together and yeah I'm also scared he's gonna tell his friends and I just feel like I really fucked up

ignore it and then post on all of your social media accounts that your phone got hacked and that everyone you need everyone to text you their new numbers because you don't have anyone's phone numbers because you had to go to like AT&T or Verizon or T-Mobile, if that's still a thing. And you had to like re-get a new like SIM card and all that shit. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Just lie. And if he brings it up, be like, oh my God, yeah, my phone got hacked. Did you not see like on Instagram? Like I just posted about it everywhere. On to the next call. I transferred to a new school this year and I'm really having trouble connecting people and clicking. I've DM'd a few people on Instagram, but it's really hard to talk to them

in person. So if you have any advice on how to kind of get out of your comfort zone and make new friends, that'd be a big help because it's almost the end of the school year and I still have no friends. Scam people into being your friend by asking them to help you with your homework. If it worked for Katie Herron, it can work for anybody. This is honestly what I would do and everything I would always sit next to okay it sounds superficial to sit next to somebody who I'm like you look like my friendship aesthetic like you look like we could be friends and I would always find my way to sit next to somebody like that in class um I mean if you've got assigned seating maybe it's a little bit harder but if you're friends with people and like dming people

and have that kind of ability I think you kind of just have to like take a gulp of courage and like walk up to somebody and then have an excuse to talk to them just make it about homework be like hey like are you studying for the test on Friday like I'm like so swamped like do you want to like go do that together or do you want to like go to the library or something like that for me that's always what I would do when I was like trying to make new friends or like make connections with guys in general is having an excuse so you feel a little bit less desperate a little bit less like hi my name is Megan I'd like to be your friend like I have no requirements like be my best friend please but if you have it surrounding by like school or an extracurricular

I would definitely go for that and also just know that I mean high school is not really like the movie like people don't hate the new girl you also been there for almost a whole year and I can guarantee you that people who look nice probably aren't nice if a girl looks like a bitch she's probably a bitch so don't try and be friends with her but maybe there's another some person in your class who's like kind of quiet um who looks like they wouldn't bite your head off if you tried to sit next to them at lunch and just strike up a conversation about something like that I think in-person connections are important i think if you just dm people on instagram that's kind of just awkward to like i mean do that in conjunction but if you don't go up to somebody it's kind of

like there's that girl who dm me on instagram who like won't look me in the eyes and it's kind of like oh you gotta look at people in the eyes and talk to them face to face to be friends and despite the fact that it's like the end of the year maybe there are still some like events or extracurricular clubs you can start going to or signing up for and maybe even start thinking ahead about stuff to do over the summer if there's not like summer school because that's fucking terrible if there's like an like a school play or something that happens over the summer where you can kind of like make more friends like that but I think getting involved even if it's late in the school year I always think that's a really good option and then just lying to people and pretending that

you're having a really hard time in your classes when you're not and then having them help you with homework and then just like being charming and amazing and great and then they're like wow she's so cool I want to be your friend you're like haha scammed good now you stuck with me my current situation I need advice on is I'm graduating college in a month and I'm currently at a place where I don't know what to do after I graduate and I have a good degree I've been interviewing and just nothing seems like it's gonna be something I'm gonna love to do for every day for a long time. So I just need advice on what I should do to really feel like I belong in a company or I don't know what city to go to. I don't know. I'm just kind of lost on what to do

with my life because I'm graduating in a month and it's so scary and the real world is going to hit me really hard. You're not going to love your first job unless you're Selena Gomez who gets discovered at a Westfield mall and gets to be on Wizards of Waverly Place. I think that's a fact that no one really talks about. I personally didn't graduate college, but I can say from all of my friends calling me panicking about how they either don't have a job graduating college or they hate their new job, that it happens to everybody. Honestly, I think all of my friends have, we've only been out of college technically, they've only been out of college for two or so years now, and everyone's had at least four or five jobs. I think we have this idea that like our first job

out of college needs to be like our dream job. Like, oh my gosh, I'm about to rule the world. Like I'm going to work at this big magazine and I'm going to like change the world. This is amazing. This is what I got my degree for. When in reality, you're probably going to end up at a company that you're only going to last at for like six to seven months, maybe a year. And it's not going to be your dream job. But I think college isn't the only time to figure out what you love. It's kind of the time to figure out what you're interested in, in like a hypothetical way. But when you actually get into the real world, you might be majoring in something that you have your first job with it. And you're like, wait, psych, I don't love this. Like this isn't

fun because you're only just doing it like in not actually happening. You're sitting in the classroom, reading textbooks and taking quizzes on something. And then when you actually apply it to real life, it might not be something you're totally interested in and vice versa. You might have to do something for a job that you didn't think you'd be interested in and you ended up loving it so I think it takes a while to kind of find your footing and even into your mid-20s I have friends who are like I'm not sure if I love what I'm doing and I don't know if this is exactly where I want to be but that's also that finding and discovering yourself phase doesn't end after college I think it goes well into a couple of jobs and you might have really crappy jobs out of

college like I feel like a lot of people do but I don't think you should set your standards so high And also not be so hard on yourself. I think as like depending on what city you want to be in, I say go for some place that you've always wanted to live. I think college is also a great opportunity to kind of like go somewhere new and a place you've never been before that you have always dreamed of. But I especially think that with like your first job, I think it's a really it's a new place to explore along with like the profession, especially because no matter what you do is going to be so different than what you've been doing in college. so i think it's about being patient and um knowing that no matter what jobs might suck you might have to like mop up poop with a really great degree sometimes your degree doesn't necessarily completely dictate your career path but also just know that everybody else is panicking just as much

as you and most people don't have jobs directly out of college and if they do um they're like oh my god i have a job directly out of college and then they're posting that on like facebook like oh my god i'm so excited to like enroll here like i'm not enrolled like i have my new job it's great like look at this all this stuff and then like you know like six weeks later it's untagged from everything it's like oh you hated your job it was terrible it was a startup and it went under i mean don't be so hard on yourself nobody knows what they're doing we're all faking it and um it makes you feel better i peaked in like 2013 you're you're fine dude you're gonna be fine you also sound smart so you graduated college just be happy with that for a while okay guys

that is it for our calls it feels so good to clear them out it's like cleaning out my email except i don't get to see how many calls we have so i don't have that feeling of satisfaction when it's like zero left except i think there's more voicemails than i because usually it's more but uh don't turn your earphones out of your ears that that wasn't english but it's time for producer's corner whoa yeah so for those of you who don't know producer's corner we thought it would be fun If I chose one call per week, which is my favorite call of the week, that Megan's going to answer for us. So are you ready for this week's call? I am so ready, Jack Ferry.

You have no idea. All right, here we go. This is, in my opinion, the best call of the week. Hi, Megan. Big fan of the show. I'm calling with a question about a friend. Let's call her, I don't know, Regan. so she and I are working on a project together it's really cool it's going super well um anyway

the issue I'm having is um when we gotta schedule the time that we like meet up to like work on this project together sometimes I'll text her and she won't text me back for like hours later sometimes like a full day anyway um what should I do in that situation should I just keep texting her like a crazy psychopath and just like send her text after text after text or should i like call and leave a voicemail i mean do people even do that anymore i mean i'm doing it now i know but um but yeah i don't know it's like i mean i know she's really busy and all but you know there are just times when i need to get in touch with her what are what are people using these days beyond text messaging any advice you have would be great thanks wow such a great call that's such a good

call well anonymous caller first i would say maybe this person you work with hates answering the telephone and when it comes to text messages um i don't know if you've updated your phone recently but maybe she recently updated her phone and now the new vibration sound or the vibration it's really quiet it's really quiet and maybe maybe she was in a pilates class and she had it turned on silent so i wouldn't say calling her incessantly would work because that'll probably make them more anxious so i think uh i think a good text and uh maybe a good dose of patience and if she has other people that um if she has other people like if you have other co-workers that like talk to her too maybe maybe you message them and say hey that's good that's good advice megan's not

responding uh or if you have her boyfriend's phone number if she has a boyfriend fuck did i say my name you did damn it but we're not talking about you we're talking about bregan we're talking about bregan so maybe if bregan has like a significant other and you have their phone number and be like yo bregan's not answering um you you could definitely do that too uh i think i think i think not bombarding because you don't want to come across as like pushy you know what i mean like you just like you want to be chill and cool i do think that's that's really good advice i think so too. Motts, what's your phone number?

It's the end of episode two. Wow, that flew by fast, didn't it? And if it didn't, I mean, good and bad? Do you want it to be long? Do you want it to be short? Everybody has their own preference. God, Megan, how'd you make this about penises?

Because I did. Well, thank you guys so much for listening all the way to the end of this podcast. And if you didn't listen to the end, I'll know because if you did, you're gonna like tweet me a funny emoji. the eggplant emoji which means you listen to all the way to the end mad kudos uh but yeah so you know what this means now that this podcast is over you guys need to call so we have more questions for next week's podcast so uh the phone number again is 310-694-0976 again it's 310-694-0976

and also if you've commentary on anything that we talked about on today's podcast any of these questions, any of these people's lives, this is your open invitation to critique, not critique, but like give your own input. Do you have better advice than me? You don't because you don't have a podcast where you give advice. Hey, yo, sorry. Still sensitive. We're only in episode two. I need more confidence about this. I want to hear from you guys. I want to hear if you guys have opinions on this because I do know everything, but I mean, I guess we can hear what you have to say. So if you want to call again with that, you should also just call the same phone number, but I'm going to restate it for you guys in case you weren't paying attention. Cause you're like, I don't

have a question. I just have a comment. Now's your time to call. It is 3 1 0 6 9 4 0 9 7 6. Should I give it to you on my time? Ew, dirty ASMR sex. 3 1 0 6 9 4 0 9 7 6. We want your questions. We want your commentary. We want you to also subscribe to our podcast and rate it. Leave a review because then people can find us. And I'm also getting high on the fact that we have reviews like i read them i refresh them and the fact that everyone's nice is amazing and if you leave a negative review i'm gonna figure out how to trace your ip address and i am going to take away your porn hub accounts because you're a troll and you should live under a bridge and not listen to my podcast but you should still listen to it just don't review it if you don't

like it but review it if you like it or lie and make multiple itunes accounts which is actually really fucking hard like multiple iClouds shit dude hella hard uh but I would love that it would make me feel really validated and great because uh all of my YouTube friends are more famous than me Liza Koshy okay great uh well thanks guys for listening and uh I will talk to you or I'll see in Toronto every arrival is a statement and nothing says it better than this Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025 find your rhythm across a seamless 33 inch display and an immersive 19 speaker akg surround audio system this city demands agility and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary let's take the cadillac find

out more at cadillac canada.ca luxury sales claim based on s&p global mobility canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the cadillac definition of luxury hear you in your ears. And I'll hear you guys. You guys are going to hear me in your ear, ear socket, ear canal ears in two weeks. In two weeks, I'll be back whispering sweet nothings, except it's a lot of sweet, salty somethings in your ears, giving you the advice that you want, or you just want to listen to me talk, which is the same. Okay. Bye. Don't blame me is a production by me produced and directed by Jack Ferry associate producer, Melissa DeMonts edited by Melissa DeMonts post production sound by Chris Henry and music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter. I will see you

guys in two weeks and don't blame me if your life bursts into flames before then. Thank you.