Don't Blame Me! - S1E25: Guest: Aislinn Paul - Losing Friends!

Episode Date: March 16, 2018

Actress (and great friend) Aislinn Paul is back again and we’ve got a wide array of stuff to talk about. We’re sharing our advice on what do if your boyfriend loves having sex with a condom (and you do not), dealing with your dad who won’t let you have alone time with your older boyfriend, and how to handle losing your best friend. We also have a follow-up call from the girl who was afraid to tell her dad she was in an interracial relationship.Guys, this is our season finale! We’re taking a little break but we’ll be back soon!In the meantime, please continue to call - [phone][ international listeners can email me at [e-mail] ]...with your question and as much detail as possible. And I will do my best to offer my words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t blame me if it ruins your life. lol, jk, my advice is always the best.- Want ads and offer codes for stuff you actually want? Fill out our survey here: https://goo.gl/hkGd6m- Since you guys DEMANDED it, I will now post full videos, with me and my guests ON-CAMERA, of this show on my YouTube Channel. Check them out now! Oh, and subscribe.http://youtube.com/meghanrosette- Thanks to Third Love for supporting Don't Blame Me. Get 15% off your first purchase! Thirdlove.com/blameSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. On today's episode of Don't Blame Me, we talk to Aislinn Paul about a girl who just wants some alone time with her older boyfriend

and a guy who loves having sex with condoms. Thanks to 3rd Love for supporting Don't Blame Me. Go to 3rdlove.com slash blame now to find your perfect fitting bra and get 15 off your first purchase thanks third love everyone get 15 off your first purchase by going to thirdlove.com blame hello everybody welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today we have my fate if you've been a guest on this podcast before and you're listening plug your ears because we have my favorite guest here it's islam paul yes I've always wanted to be someone's favorite at something

come on you already knew this yeah and if you guys didn't know if you're just listening to this you can look at us and we do look a little coordinated right now your eyebrows look bomb I did them very fast they look very good

I sharpened the pencil for like the first time in probably six months it looks good if you want to see how great Aislinn's eyebrows look You can look on my YouTube channel because we're filming this back by your requests. You can see us. You can see our facial expressions, which have been great getting the screenshots of what I just you would think that I know how to act. But I mean, apparently from that girl who DM me, I don't know how to act.

So I should pick a new career. Fuck you, by the way. No, you can act. That's the whole point is that people can tell from your facial expressions how you feel. Oh, true. True. This is like us as a bachelor. Women tell all when I just like, oh, you know what?

when we'll give them these reactions and they're like okay now everyone like looks surprised so we did over the top stuff so no they break okay they're never gonna cut to us because we're just we're being assholes and we're hamming it up um yeah it's a little embarrassing to be like the reaction shot at bachelor tell all but we were also so into it that we accidentally gave them like the best reaction ever which is what they used and it's me trying to ace it going yeah can you believe this like oh no that's so genuine that's not us so bad and a gif of it exists forever so yeah we look pretty though yeah no we do we look great we do we put we put a lot of effort into it um and mel's here too hello so yeah guys um whether you're listening to this

watching on youtube maybe you want to watch and then listen look and listen any yeah i'm i'm gonna say i think both is a little extra but if you want to do it i mean i i you pick one or the other or or do both or do both i won't judge you both i promise yeah don't blame me if you spent three hours watching hearing me good shit okay so um yeah this is an advice podcast if you're new here welcome um we are going to be playing some voicemails that you guys have left us telling us things that are happening in your life that you would like our input on and if you didn't know now you do but acelyn has been on an episode before and you crushed it thank you i uh yeah i i'd try my best i don't think i'm as good at giving advice as megan is but then we agree on

a lot of stuff so that really yeah i feel i mean i really hope we i mean i think we're i think you're good we also agree a lot and you're also coming from somebody who went to aceland for advice recently you are so it's so funny that this is gonna you're so you're just right and like you're like you're you think about everybody involved and you're like but much more compassionate than me when i'm like i fucking hate this person you're like well maybe and i'm like nope shut up i want to fucking hate this person i want to be mad you're very practical that's okay too you're allowed to like be go into a blind rage yeah oh well that's me okay so um yeah should we just start the calls hi megan um i'm a 17 year old student from sweden and last year i started

gymnasium which is basically the equivalent to 10th grade in the u.s and since sweden start school a year later than the US. Anyhow I've never been great at making friends and I'm super shy and I am excited so the first couple of weeks of school was through super hard on me until I met this girl whom I'm gonna call V which is not her real name but yeah and we became good friends really fast and we both talked once and she said that she finally felt like she found someone who she felt completely comfortable with and that just made me really happy because i felt the same um fast forward a couple of weeks we became a really tight friend group with these two other girls and spent literally all of our time together just having so much fun um after being friends for

quite some time the other two girls of our friend group got into a really big fight where neither v nor i knew what had happened but v decided to side with one of the girls and since i didn't want to leave the other girl alone i wanted to hang out more with her so she had someone by her side but i told v and the other girl that like hey um i don't know what happened between you guys and i'm not picking any sides but i also don't want to leave this person alone so after that v and the other friend completely shut me out they stopped speaking to me even when my friend um whom I was hanging out with wasn't there and they wouldn't text me or even look at me and I mean that just hurt a lot so after um after our two other friends made up they still

wouldn't speak to me and she just continued to ignore me which she still does but she acts completely fine with everyone else and I've tried to ask her like hey have I done everything anything wrong and can I do like can I make it better somehow but she just told me that I hadn't done anything wrong but I mean nothing has really changed after that and I really don't know what to do because I'm really hurt by it and I miss her so much because I felt safe with her and she was my closest friend and I miss it and I felt like I finally found a friend whom I could be close to for like a really long time and i also understand that she's going through a lot herself so i'm not mad at her in any way i just miss her a lot anyways um i was just wondering

what you think i should do about the situation wow that took a lot of twists and turns i thought there was going to be one end and then oh no the other friends made up but then you're still not hanging out with v uh this sucks i'm sorry um we talk a lot about how important female friendships are to us and like i think it's always too bad when you're like you're vulnerable with a friend and and you like really open up and then it goes south because no one really talks about how to like deal with friendship stuff yeah exactly but i mean this by no means we don't want it to be a friend breakup let's see how do we how do we fix this i mean what i would say is you guys are so 10th grade first of all can we talk about how the equivalent to 10th grade is gymnasium that's

amazing if anyone's swedish out there which my boyfriend claims to be swedish he's like not that swedish um no offense guys um uh if anyone if there's any more like equivalents like that i'd be very curious what i would say is um i i you you didn't do anything wrong so she's not lying to you and you said that you really didn't do anything wrong you were the most mature person in the situation and you're like the most absolutely able to be like you know what whatever your drama is and all that stuff and also like you didn't push them telling you if they don't want to tell you like what's happening between them you're right it is between them and that is so amazing to not pick this just to be like not to leave anyone alone coming from somebody

who was a part of I wasn't even a part of like a fight argument thing but like my college friends just like went up and ditched me and everybody's like well I'm just gonna side with them and not figure out what happened and I'm just gonna be cool with leaving someone else alone which that's again those are like 20 something year old girls so the fact that you knew that like you shouldn't leave one person alone I think that's really great what I would say about this friend is she doesn't as much as close as you guys must have like felt like this just doesn't see like why would you want this kind of friend okay here's what I will say I feel like you're you're gonna be way better at this than me no I just I think that maybe we don't know the whole story you kind

of mentioned at the end there that she has some other things going on herself and I don't know If that means like there's some stuff at home with her parents or siblings or a boyfriend, something, girlfriend, whatever, that is like causing her to have her own emotional issues. The random possible thing could be that she saw how you acted in this situation and is kind of embarrassed that she wasn't as good a friend as you were. and that kind of makes her feel shitty that she doesn't like measure up to the maturity that you had in that situation. That is like a real complicated thing to kind of figure out.

I would agree with that and think that she might think, she might now feel that she really overreacted and doesn't, has too much pride to kind of be like, you know what? Admit that you did the right thing in that situation. I'm so sorry that I was so shitty to you in a situation that ended up being temporary

of these other two friends. Like I she treated it as this like very big ordeal of being like cut out and went for the dramatic outcome as opposed to trying to support her friends and might feel like she made the wrong choice and saw you making the right one. And that is like embarrassing for her. Maybe again, we don't know what's going on in her personal life. If there's something else that you know that she doesn't have help with. you are so good at this though because any time that we talked about people or whatever you have such empathy

for how other people treat you and taking into consideration like things that they're dealing with which is I think is amazing is not something I am so great at I'm and it's totally possible that she also just is a bitch but then of course I know that us just

telling you that you need to forget her and find new friends is hard because it's hard to make friends and if you want to save this friendship like i'm just you know i don't know yeah i mean what i would say is um especially being that age i mean like i've had i a lot of my like really close friends i've known forever but there was a time period where like every single friend i made was either like i was burned by it turns out they weren't great people and i kind of like wrote off making new friends and then like what how long have we known each other uh two years okay so then two years ago two years ago i made

actual friends again. And it was like, Oh, this isn't like, this isn't like, Oh, I need to start accepting like shitty behavior. Um, and what I would say from it. Okay. So I've mentioned this in a previous episode where I think female friends are so incredibly, incredibly important. I think having friends, it's incredibly important, but I think accepting people treating you in a shitty way is not, it's not worth it because any benefit that you get from having friends is completely taken away if you have like toxic people in your life and you're letting people treat you a certain way. So I would say right now, it also seems like there's a lot of you, especially with like siding with friends or whatever, and not actually technically siding. I don't want to say that

because you definitely didn't do that, but you guys, there's a lack of communication about why, why did they get in a fight? What's happening with all this stuff? And you ask her if anything's wrong, but as opposed to asking her that direct question, maybe it's like planning a time for you guys to sit down together and talk especially because you said that she acts a different way when everyone else is there versus when it's just you two and ask her to go to lunch and just be like hey i want to talk to you and as opposed to just giving her the option to say whatever she wants start with you i always think that's the best way to like they like i don't know come about a subject that can be a little more difficult to talk about open yourself up first and say what

you said here and be like hey um i would just really love to get everything out in the open when the drama happened between our two friends like i want you to know like when we became friends. I was so excited. I've never felt as close to another friend before. And like, I just felt so safe and like comfortable hanging out with you. And I really, when you told me you felt the same way, it was great. Cause I felt like we were on the same page with our friendship. And then when everything happened with like those two other people, um, I'm not sure if I made myself very clear, but I really wasn't trying to pick sides. I really wasn't trying to like abandon anybody. It was the exact opposite. I didn't want anyone to feel like they were being abandoned.

And I didn't really understand what I didn't really wasn't privy to what the falling out was about and I assumed that we would all be close again then especially when the when they forgave each other and they became friends again everything's been a little off between us and I really miss you and I want to be friends with you again is everything I wouldn't because I don't put the blame on yourself you didn't do anything wrong and I think saying that gives her the opportunity to a the answer is true you didn't do anything wrong so you're not really getting to the point of that maybe if it's being like is how do you feel about our friendship and our friendship situation? Like, is, do you still want to be friends with me? Is this something that

you're still interested in? And you've been acting very differently around me and you're acting differently around, around other people. And I can really sense it. So like what, what has happened between us? Because if you tell her that, like, what can I fix? What can I do? A, you're giving all this power to her. And then also at the same time, like if she's being honest, which I think she is, you're never going to get a straight answer because you didn't do anything wrong. And I think this has to do, either she was never a great friend to begin with, or, which, I mean, at the same time, I think it'll, no matter what, maybe she, it's a little bit of pride and a little bit of jealousy. And that's what I would say. And also, like, you're so young, like, I hate being like, you're so young, but, like, this is not the, you're not a cat lady who needs to settle for someone so you can have, I don't know, like, pay off your mortgage.

like you're I think like we kind of in media and everything we glorify this idea of like the best friend forever that you've had since you were kids and like that share all these memories with you but I can say from experience I have friends who I made who I made as a child that I do value like crazy a lot but then I also have friends from that time that once I was no longer friends with them I realized that I didn't get a lot out of that friendship I was only maintaining it for the sake of it being something that was so long um and then i've gotten plenty out of like just as much out of friendships that are shorter in time um and they can still just be just as meaningful so just because if this friend doesn't end up being like your best friend for the rest of

your life that's okay you're gonna meet other people in the future and you're gonna make other friends and i i you're coming from somebody who had a fucking hard time doing that like that's you will you'll be able to make other friends but the best in order to make the best friends and to surround yourself with the best people you can only let people treat you like really really well and if you don't let them treat you well you'll find yourself in this habit of having other shitty friends which was me just accepting shitty behavior and i'm like well you're not as mean as the other friends were to me so i guess that's nice yeah give it some time and then give yourself more credit. Okay. On to the next call. Hi, Megan. So I'm 15 and I have a boyfriend who's

17 and we've been dating for about one year. It's been really hard because my dad isn't really into me having a boyfriend and my mom doesn't live with me. So it's just hard. I just wanted to ask you your opinion on what I should do or what I can tell my dad to make things better. my boyfriend has a car but like my dad doesn't really let me do things with him alone like I can only go with my sister but it's hard because my boyfriend doesn't want to do that most of the time he just wants to be alone he's more of an introvert and so am I but I don't know how to explain to my dad that and just everything just please I just need some advice dude we're officially so old no we're officially so old because my first reaction I was like oh 15 and

17 i mean that age that's a big age difference you guys want different things out of this fuck dude yeah um i don't know if you'll love our advice on this one i just because i totally get it i think we all have been there and this is what's this is what always sucks about trying to give advice to like anyone who's younger than you and i realize this now about my parents as well when i was that age arguing with them um is that time only like once you're older and have more experiences it's remarkable how it's a blip yeah it's just a small blip of time and that's i know that there are 15 year olds out there who like have had real relationships and real loves and heartbreaks at that age i was not one of those people i guess um so it's i don't know

i think cut your dad some slack because he's your dad and he loves you and he wants to protect you from a 17 year old boy and he was once a 17 year old boy so that age difference at that age is i under i completely understand where your dad's coming from um because that's it's it's difference between like driving okay not to be like graphic but it's like it's the difference between like you probably got your period like what two years ago and like he has been driving he like was driving do you know what I mean does that no okay um but like this is what I would say so coming from somebody like my first love my well my first yeah my first I would say like serious relationship but the first time I was ever in love and even now as a 24 year old 24 I can say like yes this

I can say that I can look back on that and be like no I was told like that was my first love um I was 16 uh yeah I was 16 and so I understand those like feelings of that and I would never discredit of like oh you're young those feelings aren't what you think they are you're kind of caught up in that but what I would say is at a it's a difference between you have right okay so your dad was like he's not thrilled about you dating but you have a boyfriend like you're still I think you need to kind of meet in the middle of this and like it's totally valid he doesn't want you guys to hang out alone and that's there might you might have this idea that like all of your friends are allowed to hang out their boyfriends alone that's not true like it's

just everyone pretends yeah my parents are like super chill like they go out at night and like I don't have a curfew I'm just like I can go home whenever it doesn't matter and I bring dunkaroos to school literally like my boyfriend sleeps over and like we just eat lunchables and like we make out and like, we have a lot of like under the shirt, like tit grabs, like everyone tries and talks that massive game. Um, so I would say like you, you're already like, if you're, you're allowed to date, you're able to do that. And the fact that like your dad doesn't like the fact that he doesn't want to be there all the time, he like is making your sister be there. I don't think that's an issue. I think, um, I think that's kind of like accepted with the terms.

maybe if you ask him like okay so when I when I turned 17 would I be allowed to do blah blah blah maybe if you're able to give like certain like age brackets of being like oh you're allowed am I well once I turned 17 am I allowed to hang out with my boyfriend like am I allowed to stay out I remember when I was younger I was allowed to have like more might actually I did I have a curfew actually I wasn't that cool so I didn't really like me curfew because like yeah I know something similar. Like it was like, I never, I don't think it was ever instated because it was like, well, and then once I got older, it was like, I would just sleep in my friend's house. So like they were, they're curfews, but my friends had curfews that would get later as they got

older because they were able to have more responsibility. So I would say maybe if there's something you can do along those lines, but what I would also say is, um, I go out on like dates, like go to the movies. Are you allowed to go to the movies? Just you to like go in places that in public so maybe it's like your sister isn't there but like you're not in the back seat of his car kind of a thing yeah and it's yeah it's not an undefined hangout where your dad's just imagining the worst possible yeah i also think maybe it's a question of having a conversation with both your dad separately and your boyfriend not like together i was like but i mean in that like if you have the conversation with your dad figure out some limits talk reasonably about like

what you are hoping for and like the the place you're at in your life and all that and then you can also talk to your boyfriend so that he's not the one telling you that he's not enjoying hanging out with you and your sister if that's the only way you guys get to hang out like that you have to lay that out to him too of like you want to hang out with me it's kind of a package deal at this time of my life my dad's not comfortable with it this is this is the the limit that we get and if you just make me feel kind of guilty um for having that then you're not the right guy for me you know like if he really likes you he should be down to hang out in whatever capacity you guys get to hang out and i would also say i mean just the line about your boyfriend being an introvert at

17 so he wants to hang out alone i'm like oh my god he wants to have sex which again as somebody who like will ever i'll air my dirty laundry i lost my virginity at 16 so like i get that um But I would say, like, if you guys can hang out in like, you know, like what I mean, like in public alone and doing stuff like that, because I think if it becomes crystal clear from having the conversation with him of being like, these are the rules. These are like what I'm allowed to do when it comes to dating and like spending time together. If he's not cool with that, then you can really kind of see where his intentions are. I mean, what I always said to my parents, sometimes with raised voices, which is not what I would advise. But what I always said to my parents is you guys are the ones who raised me. you're the ones who taught me like how to value myself and like and not to succumb to peer

pressure and things like that so you need to trust me you need to trust yourselves that you taught me well enough that i deserve this kind of trust to go out in the world and experience things and make mistakes because that is just inevitably going to happen so i yeah i would say make sure your dad gives you the opportunity and then um yeah hold up to your word and then you'll probably be given a longer leash and don't get pregnant please don't get pregnant hi Megan I'm 18 and I've had this boyfriend for four months now he is the sweetest kindest most gentle human being I've ever come across in my entire life but there's a problem I don't have any emotional connection with him in the slightest I started dating him because I felt bad which is

not what you're supposed to do I know um now breaking up with him would be the sensible answer as all of my friends have told me many many times but I live in the tiniest littlest most gossipy town village in the middle of absolutely nowhere and um the biggest problem I've faced is I want to move to London he wants to stay here and my mum wants to stay here my mum's very safe face everyone has to like us etc and his family are the gossips of the whole town they're the family that everyone talks to to get the gossip and the last time someone who wasn't born here broke up with one of the locals they left because the bullying got so bad I wasn't born here either I was born in a town a massive built city actually so I want to go back to one of those

and I just don't want to leave my mum here with such negativity because she built her business here uh life is here and i'm gonna leave so i don't really know what to do anyhow it would be amazing because i don't hurt him i don't hurt his family because they've all been amazing it's just i don't leave my mom to suffer what i left behind if that makes sense so anyhow it'd be amazing thank you so much okay holy fuck i'm just picturing them with like goddamn pitchforks Like, get out of my town! Except that was Southern accent. What the f-

Do these people have jobs? Do these adults have fucking jobs? Oh, so why do they care so much about, like, 18-year-olds dating? Like, that's- Do they think you're gonna get married? That's just when- What? What?

Is she 18 or 19? Because it makes- It doesn't make a huge difference, but I'm just curious. I think she's 18. Okay. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was so simple until you explained that there's, like, crazy retribution, yeah, coming your way.

What the hell? um okay here's what i would say um first and foremost i i i mean everyone's at least been on one pity date in their life which i think should be everyone's new year's resolution is to not go on go on dates with people because you feel bad for them and you feel obligated because you owe them a date the amount of fucking terrible dates i've gone on because i'm like oh but you are so persistent and like in reality you just followed me into the target parking lot and like would not leave me alone which is harassment but i felt like oh you tried so hard so first not that i'm saying oh wow okay that was me talking myself not you um so just know that you are not

a terrible person for doing this i everyone i know has been at least stayed in a relationship or gone out with someone you're gonna learn something from it yeah basically is what it is four months of pity dating yeah you're gonna you're gonna come out the other side with lots of life lessons do you have sex with that not that he's a person i'm so sorry um no i just mean like you said you have no emotional connection i wonder if you have physical connection because that would also play a role of being like oh do i want to leave if it's great sexually or maybe you're not having sex because you're only 18 i also no no offense but i'm i'm hoping truly that some of this is like you've made up in your mind that maybe you're just like a really anxious person

like i am and you're like coming up with like the worst possible scenario that will happen after this because but she said the last person who like oh did they divorce or are they like yeah other 18 year olds yeah was it kids again like that seems cruel that's so much pressure like if it if it is really really that bad uh and you're actually like that worried about your mom and her business like maybe try to tie in a move and the breakup at the same time if he wants to stay in that town you can really give a whole like we're just in different places in our lives I think you're amazing. I wish you all the best.

I'm leaving. Yeah. I mean, apply for a fake job that takes you to the city. I mean, or a real job that takes you to the city, but I mean, like, having that excuse. I would also say talk to your mom first. I don't know if you've told her that you have. Yeah, because she won't want you to stay with someone you don't like

just for her safety. And also, like Aislinn's saying, both of us, first of all, we'll admit, highly anxious people. The amount of, like, the spirals we go, one of us is constantly laying face down on the living room floor with the other being like it's fine no one is worried about this except you like no everyone hates me um so what i would say is like talk to her about it and so much of this is you coming from not wanting her to suffer any of these repercussions maybe not that we're saying that you've made this up but like maybe if you

talk to her she's like oh sweetie i'm fine i can handle this it's not an issue like i'm not stressed about that at all and maybe there were other circumstances in the situation you referenced that happened before where it was like so dramatic for the whole town maybe there maybe it was like a beloved maybe it was like some person who like didn't live in this town and then got with cheating involved something like yeah it might be a little more complicated than than you know and so i would give your mom tell your mom that and like tell her like you really aren't you've ended up in a relationship that you're not as invested in and that also shows such a maturity to then like want that person, want such good things for that person that you can be like, I'm not going

to let you settle for someone who's not as into this as you are and say that. And then tell your mom about how you really want to move to London and then be super explicit and honest and say that you have these fears about not only just leaving her, but like how people are going to treat her once you leave. And yeah. And I think honestly, I mean, I really hope she's going to like send you off with well wishes and be like, I want totally what's the best for you. But ultimately even if she's like no i really want to stay in this town i really want you to stay in this town um i i think you need to also do what's best for you and that's a whole nother call yeah we've had we've had ones like that in your small town where people or families really don't want

you to kind of like spread your wings and do your own thing and i would also say ultimately you moving to london or moving to a big city from a small town that's not like a permanent forever thing you could always end up back in your small town but like you need in order to not like resent where you like where you've been for all these years you need to like go to other places and that makes coming home much more and also makes the whole like breakup and getting over each other easier not that you really have to get over him but him getting over you if you're not around to see them it'll make it faster for him to like get over it hopefully also what do these parents what do his parents do that they can just gossip all the time i'm i'm frightened

by this town i never want to visit yeah do you remind me of shrek you know when they have the pitchforks and they're trying to get shrek out of there and let us know what happens i'm actually very do follow up give us some some background if like yeah if you have this conversation with your mom or what happens let us know yeah and i and i wish you well i'm gonna be back well you're over at my house every day so it would be great um yeah let us know how it goes and we only want what's good for you and what's best for you and you know everybody and your boyfriend too or soon to be ex okay on to the next call my name is and i'm 18 um i have a boyfriend and we've been dating for about four months um and we have been having sex um and recently um

i took it upon myself to get birth control and first i was taking the pill and then um i recently got a copper iud um and i went through like all these hoops um to do this because my family's really christian conservative so like i had to have really hard painful like conversations with my parents um to get birth control so that we could have sex um and I okay I really don't know if I am in the wrong for thinking this I probably am I'm probably an asshole an asshole sorry um but I find it kind of upsetting and annoying that he still um wants like he refuses to have sex without a condom um and it's just because I went through all this stuff to like get a really really like effective form of contraception and it's like

I don't know I want like we don't need to use a condom and I don't know I'm probably an asshole for this but also like we and we've talked about it and stuff and he just like he says he's like really paranoid about it and I think it's fine but I also want to like I want to experience sex without a condom because it feels better and like you can pull out and that's like really really safe with pulling out and having a copper iud which is like a very very effective form of birth control very very very few people get pregnant from it um so yeah just let me know your thoughts hmm hmm uh well first of all let's just address for anyone listening pulling out is like famously not an effective form of birth control it's like less than like 70 yeah and i

know you said in in conjunction with these other things you're doing but if anyone else just heard like pulling out yeah that's not that's not true it's not effective she only meant it in relation to the other things she's doing so if anyone's listening don't yeah yeah it's um okay here's my here's my first thought um first of all i mean i have my like my like i had a funny quippy thing and now i don't remember it but i have like actual advice but i was gonna do like the funny thing first and then the real advice um oh well i mean okay sex without a condom sure feels better but marginally not enough that you'd be like well i'd rather not have sex than have sex with a condom and what i would say is this is first of all i've no no no shit talking on you i've never

heard the amount of times i've heard guys say this a lot of times i've heard girls say this and the amount of girls who've called in and said that they don't even though they're on birth control and that's not that they don't feel comfortable having sex without a condom and guys are pressuring them yeah that's usually what i've heard so it's it's interesting to hear from the other side so i wouldn't say you're necessarily wrong but i think the whole thing is putting yourself in his position no matter how safe and covered you feel you have to get that all of the which i fucking wish there was like male birth control besides like like besides condoms you're doing all this precautionary stuff and he's doing nothing so for him he's like okay so you're not

that he's saying he doesn't trust that you've done all of these things but i mean for him it's probably it's like it's like double checking that you've locked your door it's like a safety measure knowing like okay but i'm doing my part too which i think is amazing because so many guys are like no that's a woman thing you you go take care of that thing yeah you pay for all of it and then i get to reap the benefits exactly whereas like for him i think this is just like he wants to be able to know that he's also doing something to protect you guys um yeah i mean yeah i think it's kind of super i think it's nice and yeah to like be that concerned because you guys are young and and to not want to risk it um because i mean ultimately you're the one who would get real

stuck yeah if that were the case you know you're the one who has to carry it for nine months if you happen to get pregnant or go through like an abortion if like that was what you wanted so i don't know i mean i it's definitely a something you can put out there like explain to him exactly why you want to have sex without a condom what you're hoping to get out of it and if he's still not comfortable you do kind of have to respect that too yeah because you'd want him to do the same thing for you if you didn't feel comfortable if the tables were turned you'd want him to to risk like that would be the advice we'd be giving is that like your boyfriend's an asshole if he's like pressuring you to do sexual stuff you don't want to do and it's the same thing

for you with him that you have to respect his choice because also if think about it like if if you guys are having sex without a condom and the only thing he's thinking about is like not wanting to get you pregnant so soft so fast yeah no one's having fun no one's having a time i'd also want to know um if both of you have been checked recently um because the whole thing of him being very adamant on using a condom um the whole thing that everyone says when you if you're doing birth control iud any of that stuff that it protects you against pregnancy does not protect against STDs. And it also doesn't protect you from, I mean, and STDs in general. And even if you're clean, not that I'm saying he's cheating on you or has it all, but like, yeah, maybe you

haven't explicitly gone over your sexual history and there is something that, that may be why he doesn't, he really wants to make sure he's using a condom and he hasn't. And we've had people who've called the podcast talking about, you're able to really treat sexually transmitted diseases on your own and the the nervousness you have with telling your partners there might be something like that um and i would also say choosing to go on birth control and doing all of that stuff you um you got to do for you it's not about the partner that you're with because the partner that you're you're the longest partner you're ever going to have um and like your well yeah but like your body too especially like you whatever birth control you decide to do and all of that

stuff that needs to be for your body and for yourself not yeah your own empowerment yeah and so i think being like well i did this for you and i did this for us i think it's just a little negative way to look at it it's taking control of your future and your sexuality of being like i want to have sex which is fucking great and i want to take all the precautions that i can possibly do for myself to make sure that i don't get pregnant and you've talked to your family about it and you did all these really great things but you got to do that for you not for him because then it puts you in a situation like this where you feel like you did this whole thing for somebody else and they yeah and that's never gonna be good even if like for you guys worked it out and like

you end up like having sex without a condom and then you guys break up you're still gonna resent him because you're gonna feel like you got birth control for him and that's never gonna be good i think you need to like look at what you've gone through and not think of it as this burden that you've taken on for your sex life and more about the empowerment and the maturity you've shown in your own life like I think it's wicked that you talk to your parents like I know so many people who like went behind their parents back and like my god my god me the first time Arden got birth control Arden Rose literally it was like me and Arden being like let's go get you birth control like not telling anybody so it's like it's awesome that you have gone through all these steps and

like I think it shows maturity and it's another step in your adult life um yeah and think about it like for what you've given to yourself because that's awesome yeah and and who knows how long you guys will be together and this is this should be um your relationship with your own sexual health should be much longer and yeah respect his boundaries the same way you would hope he respects yours yeah that's what i would say okay guys we're going to take a quick break i'm going to crack my neck because apparently the reason why my neck hurts is because i just listened to my calls like this and we'll be back. Thanks to Third Love for supporting our podcast. When it comes to bra shopping, it's all about finding the right fit for you. And there's only one lingerie

brand that offers bras in sizes double A through G and half cup sizes. Guess who it is? Taking guesses taking guesses oh it's third love third love uses thousands of real women's measurements and super smoothing memory foam to create bras that fit better and feel great did you know that most old school bra brands only carry 15 sizes only 15 well third love has 60 sizes that is a lot more than 15 i can't really do math but it's a lot including half cups never heard of a half cup size that's because no one else is doing it i mean really i only heard of it in baking and cupcakes and measuring things like that, but not boobs. Third Love knows that there's a perfect bra for everyone. So right now they're offering my listeners, you guys, 15% off your first order

to find the bra that you've been waiting for. All you have to do is answer a few simple questions from Third Love's Fit Finder quiz. Who doesn't even love a quiz? I mean, personally, I'm a huge fan of quizzes and it takes just 60 seconds and you can do it all from the comfort of your home. So you never have that awkward fitting room experience ever again. You know, the one where they're like touching your boobs and you're like giggling but like you don't want to smile and it's just uncomfortable and awkward do you make eye contact do you not try your third love bra it's so comfortable you might forget that you're wearing it and if you don't agree returns and exchanges are always easy and always free so this year make the change that will change the way you

think about bras go to thirdlove.com slash blame now to find your perfect fitting bra and get 15 percent off your first purchase that's thirdlove.com slash blame thirdlove.com slash blame okay guys we are back from our break everybody ate poke is that how we're gonna say it no okay okay whatever guys go on to the next call i'm 19 and i'm from germany i really really hope bad my accent is not that bad and I'm calling because I want some advice on my life right now because a lot is going on first of all I suffer from depression and anxiety and the last year was really bad for me because I graduated high school and I didn't know what I wanted to do after that and I still don't know but I'm applying for art school right now and I feel good about that so

that's getting better but the problem is that the art school is not that far away from my parents home and I still live with my parents but I kind of feel forced to move out because i don't feel good at home i don't feel appreciated and also i came out um two years ago as gay to my parents and they didn't accept that and i still don't and secretly they wish i will change but we all know that's not gonna happen so yeah i feel forced to move out even though i got feeling is saying no no no stay at home it's easier and i also don't feel prepared to move out because my parents were very overprotective in my childhood and even later on and i yeah i feel like i'm behind my friends and my peers um because they're more mature and more

um prepared to move out and live alone so um yeah do you have any advice for me on how to feel more prepared and feel yeah don't feel bad about moving out also do you have any advice on how to stop to push people out of my life because i feel like i'm losing all my friends I feel really depressed so I don't want to be a burden for everybody else and I'm pushing everyone away and that's making everything worse because I don't feel supported in my decisions neither for my family nor for my friends oh my gosh let's go to Germany I want to just like cuddle them up um i think we should tackle it in two parts right i think we should talk about the moving out aspect and then i think you talk about the depression anxiety aspect yeah right do you

think yeah yeah they are kind of two different things yeah and i think so moving being prepared to move out did you feel prepared to move out on your own uh i act i did ah but it was false you know what I mean you think you're prepared for one thing and then you realize the things that you're like missing so if anything it's better that you are kind of nervous about this because there is no way you're gonna do it all right like even the friends of yours that you think are super mature and ready to move out they're gonna make mistakes too they're gonna burn food on their hot plate or like miss classes and fail and do plenty of things that are involved when you're growing up and you're learning how to live by yourself. So I think just be prepared for the

fact that you were going to get things wrong and some things are going to scare you and that's okay. And if anything, it's kind of fun and exciting that that's a new chapter in your life. I mean, I would totally agree with that in the, in that it might seem like your friends are more mature than you and all that stuff. And even if they were raised in a household that was like more lenient. Yeah. Or more independent, like they had to learn how to do some chores because they were like flash key kids or something yeah it's it's no matter what it's different it's different when it's on your own plate and like you it's just you and you're the only one to hold responsible for it that's what i would first say it's like i definitely was not prepared to move

out but i don't know anybody who's ever like you know i feel like i really prepared to move out because there's no way to prepare for it i think financially there is and making sure that like you can afford everything that you're doing and budgeting i think is a really great idea or a really great thing you should just do not even an idea just like do it um but there's really no way you can ease into that because it's a totally different thing like the first night i ever remember when i like lived alone alone the first night i ever like slept in my place i was like oh my god what the fuck like i've never felt this feeling of being like not even necessarily like a bad feeling of being just like oh i'm totally alone but you're like oh wow i i'm

responsible for me like this is like this is all my duty right now like this isn't like i don't have a roommate who's going to be like checking, making sure like, Oh, did you like chew gum when you fall asleep and like die? I don't think that happened, but like those are the anxiety things that went through my head. Um, so I would say first, just if you're financially ready to move out, I would say totally go for it because you seem pretty aware of the fact that like, this isn't great for your mental health. Um, and also, but if you're, if you're moving out to go to this school, like if they have dorms or something like you can living on campus is going to be like a great like step between having your own place um and you'll be able to like figure some stuff out

there and then when you really move out like that's sort of like a nice stepping stone to have and you also have so many more people around like on your floor or maybe like a roommate uh so I would say don't be I think it's healthy to be a little nervous because it is a new stage in your life but also be excited because it's gonna be you're gonna be able to be proud of yourself for a lot of things that you're going to learn how to do. Yeah. I would also say, I think if like you're saying about getting a roommate, if that's possible in your moving out process, or I don't know if you want to move out before you go apply to school and that the school that you want to apply to the art school or you're applying to is close to home. So you feel like you would need to

stay at home. So I would just say you don't have to stay at home, even if you're relatively close to where you are and you can go visit your parents and they can visit you if they want to see you. I think having that bit of separation, it's going to feel really, really nice. I would also say maybe try and go for getting a roommate just as somebody who is like depressed and live it alone. Like it's not a healthy way to live. And I completely understand the thing of like, oh, I feel like a burden. I don't want to give people all of this shit that I'm dealing with and like make people feel like they have to do anything. So then you just don't talk to people and the biggest, the like, I think one of like the worst moments I remember when I

lived alone, I was like, I have not like skipped class for three days, three days straight. I'm like, I haven't talked out loud. Like my could have lost my voice. And like, I haven't said a single word out loud in three days because like I live alone. There's no one there to like strike up a conversation with me. And I was just like, just completely depressed and not reaching out to people. So I think if you can have a roommate, that'd be really, really great. and also it might be really exciting uh if you like go to uh once you get into the school and stuff if you go on their website they might have message boards and things for students if you're not going to live like in dormitories they always have message boards of people looking for roommates

who are going to the school the next year you might even meet friends who are going to understand you more than the ones that you currently have and like then you can move in with someone who is really going to support you and understand what it's like to have depression and anxiety because because that can be a really good support system yeah and I would think I would also say too if you feel the feeling like a burden or whatever like I get how awkward and you might shitty you might feel like saying something in person to somebody and like you're like I don't want to like say out loud like I'm feeling like this but like I mean if you like text one of your friends and you're like hey and if you even if you do it when you're in a good place and you're like hey um I just

want to let you know that like I if I'm in a really bad place these are some like key things that I'm usually going to do. And here's some things that if you feel me like pulling away would be really mean a lot for you to do. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, that's kind of like my whole thing. I'm like, if you don't hear from like, not that if I'm like ignoring text messages, whatever, but it's like, if I'm like, I, I, if I get like in random anxiety, things of like thinking all my friends hate me, I don't necessarily need space. I just would like, like someone to like, say they want to hang out with me. Do you know what I mean? Like telling your friends like, Oh, if I'm, if I'm retreating and I'm like becoming a hermit, it's not because I

hate you is probably because i'm like going through like a time and it would really mean a lot when this or if or when this time comes just like sending me a text message is like really great it's like letting people know because i think a lot of people also don't really know what to do they're like i don't know if you want space i don't know what you need from this yeah they can't read your mind if like they just haven't heard from you for a while they have no idea what's going on with you and i think i've always said um i think that feeling of being a burden is one of the most dangerous parts of having depression it's what stopped me from dealing with mine for a long time um because i felt so guilty that i was experiencing any kind of

yeah and like when i was sort of thinking about my life i was like no i just like everyone's got their own thing i shouldn't be burning anyone but it's the best like if you can reach out and have friends who understand what you're going through and also are supportive like it's the best thing in the world that i can text megan and be like hey i know we said we'd hang out but i'm truly so anxious i can't leave my apartment is that cool and she'll be like yes i get it i'm not mad at you or there was one time where i was can do you remember this time when i was convinced you were mad at me and like i don't know why i honestly i do not know why i saw i saw i saw you the day before yeah and then i was like convinced you're mad at me and then some way

that i said goodbye you didn't like i know a time that i didn't like i was like oh my god she hates me oh my god she's figured out i'm she i'm just not cool i'm not fun and i remember i literally did not sleep at all that night was like anxious all day and then you texted me and you're like hey do you want to hang out later and i was like oh my god thank you so much i thought you were like so mad i mean you're like what the fuck no not at all but like being able to like that was like a stupid move on my part like i shouldn't have like assumed that kind of a thing but um i think even if you are retreating from your friends they also might think that they've done something wrong and they might think that you are upset with them or you're mad at them um which

you're doesn't sound doesn't sound like you are it sounds like you're just like you're going through your own stuff and like what if you feel like you can't talk to them about it of course you're going to push them away because that's the only thing that's really on your mind is like what you're going through so you know i think yeah the best course of action is be honest with all these people in your life about what you're going through perhaps if it's really bad also make an appointment with a doctor see about medication and things that might make it easier for you in the future um and then anyone who's not supportive or makes a joke out of it thinks it's not serious then you can cut those people out move to this new phase in your life that is

going to be also if you're going to an art school guaranteed you're going to meet lots of other people who are going through the same thing. You're going to have fun. Yeah. On to the next call. So to get right into it, I'm 21 years old and I was sexually assaulted for seven years in my childhood. And I recently told my parents about it. They were really supportive at first, but once they found out that I was pursuing criminal charges, my dad got really mad. My perpetrator is a relative. So my dad thinks that I should just forgive and forget. And my mom wants to support me but she doesn't want to get between my dad and me. I know it's my right to pursue charges but my parents aren't willing to get on board. They think that I'm vindictive

and that I just want justice and they say justice like it's this really evil thing and I try to say that I just want to protect others from being assaulted but maybe I do want justice. I don't think that that's a bad thing. My boyfriend and his family and my best friend have been really supportive through all this but I just want my parents' support. I feel like this is a really important thing to talk about because it happens to so many people and I just want to know how I don't lose my whole family from this that breaks my heart yeah oh I mean this I mean you you hear about this this is so much why victims of like assault and sexual abuse don't want to come forward it's not even necessarily like it's usually often someone you know yeah I think

and it's not even like oh I don't know if like the judge or the court is going to like believe me it's even like even if people believe you it's it's long and it's expensive and it's yeah it means airing all dirty laundry and both sides are trying to like paint he said she said like with a dirty brush um gosh it's it's really tough i think at this point it's not your responsibility to keep your family together if like whoever not he i'm sorry whoever made whoever sexually assaulted you that's the one who tore your family apart yeah it has nothing to do with you yeah that person's fault it's not yours at all it is completely within your rights to pursue um criminal justice and justice is like what you deserve in this case not a bad thing it's not a

bad thing at all I think I think your your father I yeah it's a it's a horrible position to be in because of course you don't want to hurt your dad or hurt your relationship with your dad but it sounds like he has a relationship with your um assailant assailant yeah and uh abuser and is is having a hard time accepting that reality like I think he can sort of accept both things separately but the idea of making a step towards cutting that person out of his life whether i don't know to assume it's like a sibling they grew up together they had a whole life 30 years before you were born that he's known this person his whole life um and to cut them and to sort of pair those two actions together of like his sibling that he he grew up with with the person

who has hurt his daughter so badly i it's hard yeah um i mean i think you first of all have so sorry this is like so just that's fucked up like what was happening like that's just like it's there's no yeah that's just like a fucked up thing to have gone through and should never have happened. Um, and I, I think like you're going about this at such a mature, just mindset of even being able to rationalize with your, I mean, I mean, if I had been in that situation and I had people tell me like, Oh no, don't do this. Like the fact that you're able to be able to explain to them like, Oh no, it's not so much necessarily about me. It's about like other victims and other people like that's such a mature way to look at it because also yeah wanting just

like that's completely like wanting someone to suffer the consequences for their actions yeah that's not vindictive at all that is just okay that is just why we have laws and if you break them you suffer the consequences so i think like the fact that even if you weren't even concerned about other potential victims like you have absolutely a literally in your you have every legal right to pursue this yeah and i think i think if you didn't um because those are sort of the two outcomes that you have to think about like the two possibilities um that i think you would hate the most is one you go through with this and it does alienate you from your family um or option two you don't do anything and your family goes back to having this false sense of everything's

fine and you have to see him at christmas and you have to do all of these like holiday things with them and act like it's okay um i think in the end you would resent that more that would lead you to resenting any family member that's forced you into that situation to keep in contact um with this with this person and then also you're gonna feel guilty and nervous that yeah what is happening to other people yeah and so the other outcome of course is horrible and i hope that your family can figure out a way to um be on your side completely uh but i think that's the only way that you're going to be able to sleep at night is if you go through with this regardless of how your family reacts especially your father um i think it's gonna it's really up to him to figure

it out yeah because this isn't this you didn't you didn't put yourself in this position like you were not you did not ask to be a part of this like you you had no yeah this this this wasn't something that you signed up for at all and the fact when people try and have someone who's been put in a situation like someone who's been abused being like no this is your thing so you have to get over it this has not you didn't put you didn't ask for this like you were never you didn't go out seeking this someone else needs to pay for their actions you don't need to get over something that somebody else that someone else did to you yeah but also uh on the same thing like the other way around if you do think about the consequences of going through with this and that and losing your

dad and your family is too much to bear you're also allowed to not go through with the court case if you don't want to because that is the thing it's it's your life and your assault and if you can't deal with the side effects that come from pursuing a criminal case then that's okay too and no one's allowed to judge you for that either like we can't I would never judge you if you feel if you don't feel strong enough to go through with that on your own if it means losing your family and that's too much for you that's okay too yeah I just I don't want to put words in your mouth and make you think that you have to go through with like going to court like just because you're a strong woman you're a feminist like you're allowed to not do those things as well because it's your

life i think no matter what you're in this really fucking awful situation that no i hope nobody ever like i never want anyone to go through and there's no perfect way to go about this because it's definitely not a great thing and i think you need you deep down i'm sure you know what is going what outcome you need and what outcome is going to in order to move on and have a full life that this person has otherwise they win no matter what yeah like if like whether whether you're trying to like preserve any sort of relationship the only thing that you need to preserve is like your future and what can make you be able to like exist in this world and feel maybe not 100 all the time but like be able to move past it yeah yeah you just have to put yourself first in this situation

though and do the thing that is gonna mean that you get to reclaim your life yeah you have to protect you you can't look around this trying to protect anybody else except for you and um protecting other people doesn't protect you do you know what i mean like you you know deep down like what's the thing that's gonna be um gonna help you uh i am so sorry um we're we're here for you call back if ever you want to share how things go 100 um and again liking since i would support you any decision because that's your life and it's really really fucking tough thing to go through okay we are on to producer's corner and we've got a callback right oh yes we have a callback um this is from uh episode 20 um with mitchell davis this is when um a woman called um she's

white and her boyfriend's black and uh she didn't know how her dad would react because he's a known racist yeah i am doing a follow-up uh from a question that i had done previously about um how i was white my boyfriend was black and trying to tell my dad and all that kind of stuff so i just wanted to do a follow-up um so you had given me the advice you know to just tell him and i was planning on telling him i was gonna fly back up in february and go see my parents and i was gonna do one-on-one with him and kind of talk to him and tell him well um he passed away uh suddenly of a heart attack this month and I just called back to give advice to other people that if you're going through something or if you're hiding something from your parents or you're not giving

them the opportunity to surprise you or to talk to them and keep in secret it's gonna it's gonna feel not great if something happens so um you passed away of a heart attack out of nowhere and now I'm here with my mom and we're trying to figure out our next steps and it's just something that I just wanted to call and share and say that if you want to tell your parents something please you know tell them while you have the chance or you know take that risk or whatever while you have the chance because you never know what what can happen first of all if you're listening I'm so sorry that's that's just that's that's awful um yeah so so sorry for your loss so sad um yeah i mean i think it's like a great it's definitely a great message i mean honestly

me hearing this also makes me want to be nicer about the advice that i give because i'm like oh gosh i i i remember that episode and i had said something about being like you can't have an apple tv and also be racist um which makes me again also want to tread like lighter on not lighter on situations but makes me more cautious of what I what I say because I never want yeah but um I mean I think it's a it's a it's a really great message of um yeah like giving people the opportunity to surprise you because you don't know yeah you're you that was an incredibly thoughtful measured message that you left I think you sound like more put together than I would assume I would be in that situation and to take what's happened to you and share that in a message

for others I think is really really lovely and I hope it uh touches other people and they they take that advice and and do share those things with your parents because you know yeah uh unfortunate to have like a parent be racist and you hopefully can educate them because we all know that that's so fucking stupid it's just that's all you need is that just being educated yeah is education and to give them that chance and you didn't have that chance with your dad and i'm really sorry and uh yeah hopefully someone else will will take this opportunity to to realize that they can improve their relationship with their parent by trying to teach them things um either they're homophobic racist whatever if they can learn something from their kids i think that's a great

gift that you can give your parents and and also bring you guys closer together um yeah so take this girl's advice everybody yeah i think it's awesome for you to call in again too because like that's something that we always ask for follow-up calls and this obviously is such a personal issue and like something that you the really hard thing for you to deal with so the fact that you thought to call back to the podcast and talk about something that you took away from this really really sad situation i think is really amazing and i genuinely think people are going to hear this and feel very different, like feel like make me feel inspired to give, give opportunities to people in their lives. So, um, yeah, I'm thank you. Thank you so much for calling back. I'm so

sorry, but that was, um, I really genuinely think that was the fact that you thought of calling back and just so you could help other people, I think is speaks volumes of who you are. So, um, yeah, sending lots of love to you and your family oh well that was an uplifting note yeah this has been a happy episode all around everyone's heavy but i do like that you guys feel comfortable like saying this stuff to us oh yeah for sure yeah because i i mean i know i i i genuinely approach things with like lots of sarcasm and swearing and stuff like that so um it's nice to know that even even through those jokes, you guys still feel like listeners to like people, you as a listener feel comfortable telling other listeners, um, about this stuff. Not just, um, not just us who's

here. So yeah, this, this, this, this was an episode. This was an episode. We're here for you guys. We are. We are. So thank you guys so much for calling in. If you want to leave voicemails or you have callbacks for, um, if you've called before and you want to update us on your situation, you can leave us voicemails at 3 1 0 6 9 4 0 9 7 6. That's 3 1 0 6 9 4 0 9 7 6. Again, we posted this whole episode on YouTube. If you want to see video reactions and our faces,

as we listen to people talk and tell us things happening in their lives. And also, yeah, if you're international callers, you heard some fancy accents on this podcast and you guys can also participate by emailing an audio message and audio message. that's what it's called an audio message uh recording to meganpodcasts at gmail.com and we are able to play it here as you guys heard and you can follow acelyn on the social media and

her imdb yes everyone look up my look for imdb um someone cast acelyn and i in a show together where one of us is not pregnant and or dead i mean actually one of us i'll be pregnant good yeah i will not yeah too many times you can yeah he's gonna have a lot of babies um yeah so they can probably on aslampal at instagram yeah uh both uh twitter instagram aslampal uh also facebook i have a facebook page now i'm really behind the times yeah it's a fun place nothing happens absolutely nothing it's just like all my instagram photos have been linked to my facebook page i just thought i should have one i don't know why just do this like a few months ago okay i'm gonna like it i'm going to inspiration do you want can people follow

mel on twitter yeah yeah they can follow me mel is a great twitter guys oh my god you do she you you're active enough on twitter not enough like you're you're active on twitter with things that you say and retweets of things that i haven't seen 10 000 times i'm gonna have to follow you right now constant new information and great commentary that's what i would describe your twitter so much you're welcome yeah it's uh she is not melissa because my it's she is not melissa m-e-l-i-s-s-a and i spell my name with one s oh my god yeah i never even noticed yeah i mean i noticed how you spell your name but i didn't notice that oh i like that smart it's really good it's like leo where it's like who is leo

howard i am leo howard so good he did it on accident and he did not do it on purpose though no he's a good name guys guess what's happening it's something that happens to your favorite TV shows and also this podcast. We're going on hiatus, which I wish in my head means that like we're in Mexico, like on a beach being like,

we'll be back, guys. We're mentally recharging, which is definitely not happening unless anyone wants to take us to Mexico. Guys, we'll be on hiatus until May. We'll be back in May. It's gonna be May. So there'll be lots of new

and exciting things happening with the podcast in May. And there might even, And there may even be more episodes if you catch my drift, if you pick up what I'm throwing down. Ooh, I got a rap career in the making. Can you hear that? I could do that. So, yeah, don't be sad about the hiatus.

I'm assuming you're sad. Let's pretend you're sad. Don't be sad about it because there will be more, maybe much more podcast content coming. It's going to be May. oh I'm so glad it's May because it just really gives me a lot of material okay guys

um shit so this feels like a sad farewell um maybe just re-watch this episode over and over again on YouTube until May

yeah yeah that's I think it's probably a good episode to start the hiatus on because I think it's it's very the content of these calls

are so different than like the first episode so we're able to see how far we've come and how far um people are willing to share

the podcast has matured like a wine it has uh-huh they're gonna say like a woman i was like ew she has tits now okay i'm being gross okay guys um so we'll see you in may bye i feel like i'm like a parent walking out like i'm abandoning them that's fucked up you are you are abandoning them i'm not follow me on instagram guys you can follow me at megan rinks and everything you know that but uh it's a very long outro

End the fucking podcast Cut Don't Blame Me is a production by me produced and directed by Jack Ferry associate producer Melissa DeMonts

edited by Melissa DeMonts post production sound by Chris Henry and music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter I will see you guys in two weeks

and don't blame me if your life bursts into flames before then Thanks for watching!