Don't Blame Me! - S1E3: Getting Over Crushes?

Episode Date: May 12, 2017

Here I am again, bruised up (from falling off my Soulcycle bike), gladly answering your questions!This week I dish out advice about finding nudes on your boyfriend’s phone, first-time sex with a guy you just met on Tinder, and dealing with overly-affectionate unrequited crushes.Next time I’ll be answering your questions about the end of the school year! Just call and leave me a message at...[phone]...with your question, age, and as much detail as possible. And I will do my best to offer my words of wisdom.If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t blame me if it ruins your life. lol jk my advice is THE BEST.[phone]Call!Thanks to Casper for supporting the show! Save $50 on a mattress at http://www.casper.com/blame and enter offer code: blame.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

thanks to casper.com for supporting my podcast don't blame me if you guys want $50 off any mattress you heard me any mattress go to casper.com slash blame and enter the promo code blame that's how you're gonna get it $50 off one more time guys casper.com slash blame promo code BLAME. You're welcome in advance. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Don't Blame Me with me, Megan Rinks. It is episode three of my podcast. If you are just tuning in for the first time, welcome. Don't Blame Me podcast is basically an advice podcast featuring me and all of you, except only the ones of you who call in so how you get on this podcast it's a lot easier than

getting on jeopardy you don't have to do a bunch of trivia you don't have to be like super smart you just have to leave a voicemail which in this day and age is actually relatively hard to do i mean i know i avoid listening to my voicemails at all costs in which uh producer jack ferry could definitely uh testify that i don't listen to voicemails or call back but if you want to call me even though I am not going to call you back but I'll talk about your answer and give you some advice on the air you can use the number 310-694-0976 my personal cell phone number again everybody is 310-694-0976 except it's not my personal phone number so if you're gonna send me you can't send money through a phone number but if you're gonna like do something like that you

know, just slide into my DMs instead. If you want to send me like free athletic wear, I would love that. Yeah. So today we've got a very exciting episode with Jack. Announce yourself. Oh, hello. Hi, Megan. Oh my God. Who is this random person in my house? Hello, everyone. If this is your first episode, my name is Jack. I am Megan's producer on the podcast. And he's dressed snazzy today, everybody. Not that he does. He dresses snazzy every day. Well, thank you, Megan. He's Literally wearing, what do you call that? Like a suit jacket? This would be a sport coat.

A sport coat. Yeah. And it's got a pocket square too. Yeah, well, I've got a meeting after this. I wanted to look nice. Just pretend that it was for this. Well, I try to look nice for you as well, but I don't normally wear a sport coat.

Well, I'm wearing makeup right now because we're actually filming a little bit of this for my YouTube channel. So this is a nice change of pace for you to look at. Last time I was a little orange from my Coachella spray tan. Oh, yes. I remember that. That was pretty funny.

Yeah. So how have you been since we last recorded? I've been good. I've been working out a lot because I've been really, really, really bored. I just ran into your good friend Ross last night, who told me that you guys are going on like a SoulCycle adventure together. Oh, we are. We go to SoulCycle.

We go to Pilates. Honestly, there's nothing more entertaining than watching like a tall, lanky man on a Pilates performer. It's great. So we have a lot of fun doing that. We're working out and I've got a little bit of some... Yeah, I've noticed that your body is covered in bruises today. I fell off.

I mean, I didn't fall off the SoulCycle bike. I just like fell during the cool down. I had a small tumble and I like caught myself before I went like face plant down and I just hooked onto the handlebars. But it was a Rihanna themed class. So it was like the evolution of Rihanna. It felt like we were in a music video

because it was just Ross and I staring at each other, just singing like we found love in a hopeless place. And it was like lots of umbrella, A, A, A, under my umbrella. Ella. Ella. Ella. And I did a SoulCycle class with Grace.

She went to Jocelyn's birthday. I saw. So you're just like really getting into like ridiculous shape right now. I am, except I put like zero resistance on the bike. Only like a little bit because I don't want to bulk my legs. Okay, got it. Yeah. So it's like me and all of these other like girls with like chicken legs.

So we're like, they're like, turn the resistance up. And we all look at each other like, yeah, we're not going to do that. I'm not trying to get some bulky legs right now. All right. Well, I believe that's the whole point of SoulCycle is to just ride with the easiest level of resistance. Yes, I'm just there for the cardio. Tight wheel, tight body. That's what they say.

Tight wheel, tight body. Yeah, I guess. Who says that? I've never heard that. The instructors say that. Who do you go to? Alba. Alba.

You said that so. I've been to one of her classes. She's intense. Yeah. Where do you go? Usually Manhattan Beach. What time so everyone can show up? All right.

Well, let's, maybe let's get into the show. Okay. This isn't SoulCycle with Megan Rings. It's Don't Blame Me with Megan Rings. You're right. You're right. I'm also not good enough to cycle for that. Anyways, okay, guys, we'll stop talking about my non-existent rock hard abs right now.

Except if I flex, I have a little bit of muscle. Let's just take on the first call. Last month, I confessed to my crush. He ended up rejecting me because he said that he had commitment issues, and I didn't mind. It is my senior year, and I probably won't see him again after I graduate. But after being rejected, we had a competition for robotics, and we both were going on it. During those three days, and even after, during school, he just got super physical with me. When we ended up sitting together, he had his arm around my shoulder, he lied his head on my, on me, and everything.

At first, I didn't mind, but after some time, I ended up going to my closest friend on the trip and telling him about the guy. My friend pretty much just allowed me to cling to him so that I wasn't alone. My friend thought the other guy was clinging to me because I was doing stuff for our team as captain alone. That aside, I'm really such an affectionate person, and him getting all over me isn't helping me to get over him and enjoy the rest of my high school career. What do you suppose I should do? Okay, well, I mean, it sounds like he's just, like, trying to fuck. Which, like, I mean, no offense. I don't blame him it's like end of senior year that's kind of when it's like hey we might not

see each other again like let's go do this but I think if you have actual feelings for him which it sounds like you do I wouldn't follow through with that I think like telling him like hey like personal boundary issues um I really think like I already told you that I have feelings for you and you don't have those same feelings back and I know that you have commitment issues but like I'm not just like trying to be a fuck buddy I would like rather us like stay the platonic kind of friends because you don't get to have it both ways it's not like he can't say like oh well i don't have those feelings for you but like i'm still gonna talk to you and treat you like i have those feelings for you and then i'm gonna tell you i have commitment issues so then we when we

inevitably possibly hook up which is what i'm trying to do then i can tell you that i warned you and like you you kind of knew all the stuff going into it which i think is like this is like a very classic high school i mean it's not even a classic high school move it's kind of a classic move in general where like any guy or girl can be like before they get into the physical aspects He's like, I just have commitment issues. Like, I just want to let you know, like, you're such a good person. But like, I'm just not there in that headspace yet. Yet they still keep doing all those actions to make it inevitably happen that you get to that physical point.

But then they basically are like, well, I told you so kind of thing afterwards. So, yeah, I mean, I think there's nothing wrong with being like a flirty or affectionate person when it comes to like you. There's no issue with like him doing that either. But I think it's if you're not comfortable with it and it's making it hard for you to get over him, then you got to tell him and just be like candid and honest and be like yo stop putting your arm around me if you're not trying to date me next call time next call time so i uh never had a boyfriend i kissed someone like honestly in the past year i had my first kiss i've never done anything sexually so i haven't had sex or anything i'm 19 years old i'm about to be a sophomore in

college and all of my friends make fun of me and it makes me super super annoyed and because like all have sex basically and um I I don't know if I want to have sex yet but I don't know if I I don't know if I'm ready for it because it's just like a huge thing and it like scares me but like also i'm like i just want to get over with honestly and like um i'm very insecure about myself and i'm afraid that if i find a guy and he's not gonna have sex with me or he's gonna think i'm really ugly or whatever and um i'm on tinder which is crazy but i mean i've never met anyone but um i'm thinking about doing it with someone on there but i don't they're not gonna they like the pictures they see aren't doing don't do like justice to my body and everything

I don't have a good body and it really stresses me out and I uh don't feel good about myself but I just want to get this type of thing over with but I don't know what to do um it's really stressing me out I have depression and anxiety and I haven't talked to my parents about it but I don't I don't know what to do um just a lot of shit going on in my life I having sex isn't gonna make you feel better about your body. If anything, having sex is like, I mean, you're like the most naked you've ever been. So I think if it comes to like being insecure about your body, I also think that's something that like, I mean, I think everyone to a certain extent is always going to be insecure about their body in like aspects of it. But I think there's no having sex isn't going to solve

that. But also if you're waiting to be like, I'm waiting to have sex until I feel like super hot and super great like you might die a virgin because like I don't feel super hot and super great all the time but like I still have sex so I think there's that aspect of it I think like learning to like I'm not telling you to like love your body because like I'm not not I don't sounds terrible to say like I'm not I don't buy into that whole like self-love kind of thing because like I also got a nose job so I think like just finding a way to like be cool with your body and doing things that make you feel better about yourself even if it's not like a like an aesthetically an aesthetic thing where you like look in the mirror and you're like wow I really

like this about myself but if you're like focusing and doing things that make you feel good about yourself as a human then it's kind of like well cool my body works and it does all these like really cool things and I like myself as a human which is like way more important than like being obsessed with having like really big pores or something but I also think wanting to get sex over with is a legitimate thing i totally understand that but also if you have any sort of like debate or question or hesitation i think that's kind of your answer like it's either like you want to get it over with and you're ready and you're solid and like there's no wavering and you're not concerned or worried about the repercussions of that and you've kind of just

thought it all out you have to be a hundred percent in that direction if you're like 60 percent there i just say like wait it out also like like someone's gonna want to have sex with you like more than just one person i guarantee you like there are lots of people like dude donald trump has kids like someone fucked donald multiple people have fucked donald trump like i i 100 completely doubt that you're ugly in any sense of it at all but just even if we're gonna play that side of it like ugly people have sex like ugly people have sex that's that's also a thing and it's also more about instead of losing your virginity kind of thing just when do you i don't necessarily think losing your virginity is like this massive massive thing because i think it puts

a lot of it gives someone else a lot of power in the situation so think of it more in the lines of like do you want to have sex forget the virginity talk forget like who you're gonna lose it to and all of that stuff i don't think i think it's more about like you personally like do you want to do this like are you ready for this like is this something you want to do or is it something that you just feel like your friends are making fun of you for and so you want them to shut up because i mean that's not really a good enough reason to do it and it's also if you want to meet someone on tinder and go for it go for it but it's also just more about like do you want to have sex not who do you want to lose your virginity to who's going to have sex with you because take the

control back because you got that control and the next phone call is happening three two one blast off how do I get my parents to start treating me and seeing me as an adult I am going to be 22 in a few months I moved out of their house when I was 19 and yet they still treat me and view me as almost they're like still a child and almost like their property and they don't get that I'm an adult so how would you suggest that I get them to view me as the adult that I am if I didn't know any better I would think this is my best friend calling me because we literally just had a skype call about this or a facetime who skypes anymore a facetime call about this yesterday i think i mean no matter how old you get i think your parents or whoever raised

you or anything like that is always kind of going to treat you like a kid just because that's just like default how it happens i think as an adult it's not so much about wanting them to treat you a certain way but only it sounds like it sounds really controlling to say but like only give only letting them treat you in a certain way so i think it's not about like demanding them to like do all these things for you but just don't give them the opportunity to treat you like a little kid being a grown-up and like having your own place means like if they're being shitty and they're like treating you like you're 13 years old and doing all that stuff like go home like go to your place like walk away and leave don't answer the phone call kind of don't go back to

like that kind of high school mentality where it feels like the constant need to impress them and that sort of stuff so I think if you approach it as more of an adult not that I'm saying you're not approaching it as an adult but I think if you limit the kind of control that they have over you in that sort of sense and if you feel like I know a major thing that happens with this especially when it comes to like dating and stuff and parents feeling like very involved in their kids dating lives and all of those things and all that stuff just like don't talk about it think of the things or figure out the stuff that you feel like you guys connect on an adult level

and then focus on that stuff and the things that you feel like you're being like belittled on or you feel like they're being, they're treating you really crappy on, just try and avoid those kinds of conversations and sources and those sort of situations. I apologize, words are hard.

And then I would also say, just try and create an adult relationship with them because they know you as a kid and you know them as a grownup. But now that you're both grownups, you don't really have that kind of adult on adult relationship. They've always been able to like keep things from you and kind of talk down to you because that's just how it goes. So I'm not necessarily saying that like ask them about like super personal stuff in their lives they'd feel

uncomfortable telling you about because ultimately you still are their kid but like maybe like tell them that you want to start like a book club with them or like start listening to the same podcast maybe this one and start creating things that you have mutual interest in with them that can spark like adult conversations and grown-up conversations like listen to npr i don't i'm thinking of like very standard stereotypical grown-up things but then just kind of fostering new hobbies together or new mutual interests that um are just very separate from the kind of thing that you're used to and the kind of stuff that you know because then that's creating a whole new kind of relationship that will 100 be based in adulthood because you're both adults and then

also just know like i feel like no matter what like we've seen all the romantic comedies about how like parents still treat their kids like kids even when they're older and like they have kids and all that stuff so just knowing your own boundaries and knowing that like you've got your own place so if they like piss you off leave and uh you can you can block their phone number for a while you can just not call them back i hope your parents don't listen to this oh next call sorry i forgot what this show was so one of my questions is that like me and my friends split homework and like homework assignments and we trade answers but lately she hasn't been doing any work at all and i've been doing it all and so i want her to be my

friend but i want her to pick up her slack so how do i tell her this without breaking our friendship oh my god your friend sounds like me in high school where it's like we used to do that all the time but it was also like my answers weren't always the right ones okay i mean what you're doing isn't like academically ethically correct but like i also say like this is what i did with my friends and i was like the stupid friend of my friends which all like i mean i think now my friends would be like yeah you were but like even then they're like no megan don't worry it's fine kind of thing so i think there's a way to like kind of tiptoe around it because i mean if she's not pulling her weight in like doing this like fairy oceans 11 scheme of getting better grades

then just like is it just because she's like being lazy or is it because like she's not as smart as you guys which like if that's the answer like that was me like i have really bad adhd and so it's hard to keep up with that kind of stuff so i think if it's um maybe it's sitting down and doing the homework like together with her like how about if like if you're splitting it with other friends why don't you guys do your aspect together and you do both of those and then you're kind of able to see like is she struggling with this more like should she be doing a different subject should be doing a different homework assignment on this and all that stuff um or is it that she's like just being lazy and if she's just being lazy then you know maybe like let her

let her ride with your good grades and then like just bring someone else in to like do more of the homework and then just don't tell her and then just like have her reap the benefits because it's not necessarily worth like ruining a friendship over because if she's stupid she'll feel really bad about it because like same but i think i mean also dude you're in a position where like you're not really allowed to do this at all so like you can't like if you piss her off what if she goes to like the principal and it's like we've all been doing homework and trading in there's like no one's doing it so you know maybe just bring slide someone else in and like have her just think she's doing the work um or you know or if she's stupid it's like charity think of it like

that okay guys now we're gonna take a quick break to listen to the ad sponsors who make this podcast as possible. This episode of Don't Blame Me is brought to you by Casper. And no, not the friendly ghost. We're talking about mattresses, people. I actually have a Casper mattress in my guest bedroom, which, first of all, let me just say, was shipped amazingly quick because I had a friend staying with me, Aislinn Paul. You should follow her. She's great. She's a wonderful human. She's also sitting right next to me as I record this. And they're amazing mattresses. I've also slept there on nights when my boyfriend and I have gotten in a fight before. And it's also a full-size bed, by the way. And it fits two people because then in the middle of the night when he's like,

Megan, I'm so sorry. I forgive you. And then I'm too late to get out of bed and go into our real bed. We sleep in that bed. And I honestly regret spending so much money on my mattress in my bedroom because it costs so much more than a Casper. Their mattresses are the like best price of any mattress ever. I tell everyone all of the time. So Casper is an online retailer of mattresses and these aren't just like ones that you find on the side of the road that have bed bugs. No, these are premium mattresses. These are the kinds of mattresses that make those commercials with those people who are like happy and they're like the kinds of sleep that you get when you don't need the sheep. Casper's mattress is an obsessively engineered mattress at a ridiculously fair price.

They're made out of memory foam for this like amazing sleeping sensation where you sink right in, but you're not like absolutely sinking into like a sinkhole. You got a little bit of bounce on there. You can roll around without feeling like you're like, oh my God, I've fallen and I cannot get up. Plus it doesn't get hot at night, which if you've never had a mattress that gets hot at night, you don't think it's a possible thing. Oh my gosh, it is. It stays cool. It is amazing. It's easy because you can buy it online. You don't have to go to a store and sit on mattresses when you think about the fact that like all these other human beings have been sitting on those same mattresses trying to test which ones they want and you roll around on them and other

people have rolled around on them. It's like a gross hotel bed. No, you don't do that with Casper because you can just order your mattress online and they offer free delivery and returns within a hundred day period. Do you know how many days is a hundred? That's one more than 99, one less than 101. And that is more than three months. Three, six, nine. Yeah. That is more than three months. You could spend three months sleeping on this mattress and be like, nah, not for me, which honestly you won't, but you could do that. And then guess what? Oh my gosh, you just returned it. That's not hard at all. Like I said, I have this mattress in my guest bedroom it is amazing i love it i really regret not having it in my master bedroom would have

saved me a whole lot of dollar bills y'all and speaking of saving you dollar dollar bills y'all you can use casper.com slash blame and enter the promo code blame for 50 dollars towards your mattress which is a lot of money in general but also when you see how competitively priced these mattresses are 50 is making a dent in whatever mattress you have so again if you guys i know you want to if you're moving out you need a bed those are things you don't think about you need a bed and you're not going to sleep on an air mattress or a water bed for the rest of your life because you will stay single forever so again use the code blame at casper.com slash blame and you can get 50 towards your mattress so massive thank you to casper first of all massive thank you to

casper for sponsoring this episode also thank you for the bed i would i'm sure acelyn would like to say thank you too, because she slept on it. And anytime any of my friends like, you know, party too hard and I'm like, yo, don't worry. Casper got you hooked up. You got a bed to sleep in. So essentially it's why I have friends. Casper, you've done so much for me. One more time. Casper.com slash blame. Off the code blame. You're welcome. You can't blame me because I did this in a good way. And we are back and it's time for the next call. So, I am 21 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together for around two years. The majority of our relationship has been long distance, which, by the way, we totally kicked ass at.

And I have so much trust in him, and being apart has never made me nervous or anything like that. He studied abroad in Europe for a semester, and at the end of that semester, I flew over to Europe, and we stayed together for a week, a little vacation. My first night there and my first time seeing him in four months, we were just looking through the pictures on his phone from his trip, and I came across a picture of a naked girl laying on a bed. The thought of him hooking up with her had never even crossed my mind, but once he noticed that I saw the picture, he started apologizing immediately, said that he was drunk, they made out. he regretted it so much he immediately stopped all his friends abroad with him knew that he had a girlfriend back home and so mad at him blah blah blah he didn't even know the girl she was visiting a friend and then left the next day you know whatever the bullshit i got over it like that day because you know we were in europe for the next eight days together and i wasn't going to

let that ruin my whole trip um but once we got back we're done with long distance live in the same city together all the time everything's great love each other we're awesome but it pisses me off still I think about it all the time and I bring it up to him because I get pissed off and he doesn't really say much he just says you know I told you I'm sorry that I regret it I don't know what else want me to say I'm like well fix it because I'm still upset about it and it like it just makes me upset every single day think about it I kiss him and I'm like all I can picture is this girl kissing him and I know it's like not a huge huge deal whatever they made out whatever but it still is kind of a big deal to me and I don't know I don't know what I'm really asking for advice on

here I just really don't know what to do about it because every time I bring it up to him he just kind of is like I don't know what else to say I love you and I'm sorry and I don't tell any of my friends any of this because I don't want them to look down on him because he really is a great guy and I really do love him and I feel stupid that like he cheated on me and I don't know so what do you think I should do to try to get over this because I literally cannot get over it and I don't know how I want to slap him oh my god I would lose my fucking shit like I can't even explain to you I'm also I'm with you on this right now where I'm like dude I would be so fucking mad I would I don't know what I would do and I don't know what but I would still be mad

like god that fucking sucks that's the worst that's like god i would just oh my god oh god and i understand when you're like well i still love him and like all this stuff if i'm putting myself in this situation and i genuinely don't know what i would do because like surprise surprise like my boyfriend and i we're gonna end up together we know that we talk about that all the time if he fucking cheated on me first of all i would i mean i think you've kind of missed the opportunity to punch him in the face but like i would have done that but then i also think like I don't know what is going to make you feel better like I don't know that but I think it's completely natural for I mean I think even in general like as much as people say like you

someone cheats on you whatever you have to get fully over it I think there's a way to move past it but I don't think there's ever going to be a way for you to look back on that and be like haha wasn't it funny that time you got naked with some girl and made out like I feel great about that like I think no matter what even if you've moved past it and you're technically over it it's still not going to be like a fun fond memory to look back on like that still totally sucks but I think it's if there really isn't anything specific that you want from him to do that could make you feel better if it's just like that the aspect of it is like the feeling hurt I think there's a way to convey it in a way where it's like if it's still so present in your mindset

and your thought process and all that is it just because you're looking back on that specific moment or do you feel like are you questioning other decisions that he's doing and how he's treating you in other circumstances in other situations is it making you feel like his feelings aren't as strong for you or he would be unfaithful again is that what the fear is coming from because I think if it's making you notice other aspects and you don't feel like supported or loved in like your relationship right now even though it's been a while maybe that's what you address but if it's purely just looking back on the memory I don't think you're ever gonna look back on that with like like good job bro hella proud like that sucks it's super sucks and i think

i mean god i just feel so bad i think it comes out of two things you have you have one of two choices you break up with him or you don't you either break up with him yeah or you get over it and it sounds to me like she can't get over it so you gotta yeah like do you want to how do you want like what if she gets a freebie pass like what if you get a freebie pass for like no it's fucked up no i would honestly i would say i would say i was like you have two choices you can either a get over it or b break up with them if you can't get over it over that then it sounds like she can't so she has to break up with him look that's the thing it's she is hurt she can't get past it so she has to end it yeah it's the only way because it's driving her insane yeah i mean

just doesn't sound funny she's in her she's in the she's in the right yeah so but i mean that's what it comes down to if she really doesn't want to break up with this guy then she needs to find a way to get over it if she can't get over it yeah then she has to break up with him because otherwise she's just driving herself crazy and wasting her own time well i mean i think it's also if that's if that's the most prevalent thing that you can't move past and you've been dating for all this time beforehand the good needs to outweigh the bad and if this bad doesn't outweigh the good then it's not fun because it's clearly not fun it's driving her crazy honestly when i heard this call too i was just thinking i fucking hate him i hate him so much that's the picture

that you saw oh shit oh also i really wish i could throw my boyfriend under the bus right now for like a story which is not even not even halfway as bad as this let me just i just i saw him looking at something on his phone which was like not of him personally with any girl just of a different girl and i lost my shit and i was so mad so i can't even imagine if i saw a picture of like an actual girl and it came to that whole cheating thing yeah I think also you're young enough I mean you're not old at all like you're like but like this is kind of the thing the this sounds stupid to say like the right guy or whatever just wouldn't do that to you like just that wouldn't happen it's also the same thing where put yourself in his position like if you did that to a guy that

you were dating do you really would you have done that to the guy that you think is good you're going to end up with like would that lapse of judgment have occurred if you felt like this was it or if that was that risk worth the reward of it and I just don't think he I don't think he was considering you at all and that's not really someone you want to be in a relationship with also I want to punch him in the face and egg his car and I just I know I know I'm all about girl love and I'm all about all of that stuff too but like I bet you're really prettier I'm just saying that he sounds like a fuck face on to the next call I'm so mad about that one my advice is needed about my parents and my boyfriend um he and I have been in a relationship for over seven years now

um high school sweethearts the whole sappy deal um but we have a really great relationship we grew up together and totally understand each other and have been through a lot together but my parents are not the biggest fan of his and the older that I get the harder that becomes for me to kind of feel like I'm choosing between my family and my boyfriend and obviously I love my parents and my family and I don't want to have to feel like I have to choose either of them but he has a hard time coming around them because he knows that there's weird tension and I just didn't know um if there was any advice you could give maybe if you ever dated somebody your parents weren't fond of or um you know know anything that could help me break that

ice because i obviously would love to marry this dude and uh i don't know how comfortable i would be to do that if i didn't know that my parents um 100 supported that relationship i think what you have to figure out is why they don't like him um and then at that point there's there's just like there's sometimes there's just like stupid things that really dated mindsets whether that comes to like different religions or like like your parents are like low-key racist not that i'm like saying your parents are low-key racist but like think about it in that sort of sense if it's if they don't like him because they don't like the way that he treats you i think that's a very different thing than not liking him because he grew up with a different background than you

or if they just don't like him just to not like him without any sort of like real reason or maybe they don't like him because this is the guy having sex with their daughter oh that is also true I don't even think of it like that but I will also say this I think as much as it's important for you personally to have your parents like the person that you're dating I think parents always have a sense they have a relationship where it's no matter what it's their kid I think they and I've always felt that the opinion that matters most is the people who not only see you together a lot but your peers it's your friends and people who know know the unfiltered unlike oh let me button up for my parents kind of look and who can look at it from a very i don't know like a very parallel

sense of it where they see they see how you act in an everyday thing and all that stuff so i think if no one else if everyone in your life is like very anti this person i mean it just it's about who do you whose opinions do you value do you feel like these people in your life have your like best interest at heart and all of this stuff and if everyone in your life dislikes your boyfriend um who who do you choose to believe in that sense do you choose to believe like your childhood best friends and your parents and all of these people who've known you through your ups and downs or do you choose to side with this person who you want to end up with but i also don't think i also don't think it's necessary for your parents to absolutely like love the person you're dating and i think like

I mean, God, if that was the case, hello, every single romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez in the last 10 years would be irrelevant. Like, that's just like, it's a standard kind of thing. And I think it does come from the aspect of like, you're fucking my daughter and that sort of thing. But I mean, if they like don't like him

because like, I don't know, he's like, like kills puppies, then like maybe believe them. I think it just depends on why they don't like them, him, them, unless you're dating multiple people, in which case I mean polygamy is legal in like Georgia

no Oregon I don't know I Jack is like what the fuck are you saying I think it's Utah Utah I'm not sure it's legal

anywhere actually oh I know Sister Wives how can they have a whole TV show that's not legal I'm not really sure to be honest

well I think we shouldn't judge no no not judging at all not at all but I think figuring out why they don't like him having a serious

sit down conversation with them and like talking to them about it and be like hey I really like this guy and maybe you haven't conveyed that enough

because I think also and this is how i felt with a lot of my friends and their parents when they've started dating it's like the parents kind of just go into it's like well shit like our kids are like 20 and 23 these are these are temporary boyfriends we're not going to get super attached to this because we know how the story goes so i think if they understand how serious you feel about him and all of that then maybe they'll change their kind of their kind of tune with it all but maybe they just don't know how important he is to you and maybe they're kind of used to not that i'm saying that you like date people and then drop them and all that stuff but maybe maybe they're not they're trying to not get

attached because they don't think it'll last which maybe i'm not i would just talk to them first and then find out why they don't like him okay guys that's the end of our calls but wait there's more we have producers corner where producer jack fairy picks his favorite question that's right so every week we thought it'd be really fun if i picked um what i consider to be the best call of the week and um i think i got a good one for you this week do you now i do come at me bro all right let's do it hey megan so i have this friend and she asked me to come over to help her take a couple of pictures for her instagram i know who does that anyways i think i left my sunglasses out in her driveway during the photo shoot i texted her to see if they were out there and

She said she would check, but I haven't heard back from her. Anyways, I remember a similar problem some guy had last week. I think his name was Mac. Sorry. I mean, my friend said something about having other people I could get in touch with. I couldn't find any contact information, but it did come across this phone number. Yeah, let me know if you have any advice. Wow.

That guy sounds so familiar to me. Oh, my God. Does he? Yeah. I can't place. You know what? He kind of sounds like your friend Ross. That's what his voice sounds like.

A little bit. Anyway, what's your advice for this gentleman who went to his friend's house and left his sunglasses and then his friend very rudely didn't find them for him? I would say that that friend should probably make her a minder on their phone right now for as soon as they're done doing whatever they're doing to go look for that. Oh, so you're saying that you should tell this gentleman to let his friend know to set a reminder on her phone to set her to set a timer on her phone for approximately 15 to 20 minutes so they could go look outside for those those those sunglasses. Yeah, I would I would suggest that I would say he's not in the wrong at all. I would say all of that is on his friend. It's his friend's bad 100%. And I bet his friend feels really, really bad.

And his friend will also text him as soon as hopefully they find said sunglasses and will probably, if they randomly have a Pilates class together tomorrow, that friend I would think would probably just bring them. You know, this is what I love about this show is when we get to the producer's corner, The advice gets so specific, which I think is really exciting.

I just feel like I've gotten good at it, like, through the last couple of, like, you know, I just, like, finally get these very concise, very, like, just step-by-step directions. I'm really sorry, Ross. Okay, guys, that is the end of the show. Thank you so much for listening. If you listened all the way through, what emoji should you tweet me? I think you should tweet me, ooh, the lion. I'm really enjoying the lion one right now.

so yeah guys now it's time now you've finished listening to this now you can call into the podcast so we can get questions for next week and that phone number is 310-694-0976 one more time 310-694-0976 I would also love if you guys could call in and if you have any more advice if you feel like I didn't touch on something or you're listening to this being like I totally agree with you but what about this or if you're like megan you a dipshit i have way better advice on something and you have more personal experience when it comes to something and like maybe you lost your virginity to a guy on tinder or a gal on tinder and you want to share your story and some of your advice with any of the advice questions that we did now uh on this episode you guys can call in

too we would love to hear your feedback to my i mean i already know my answers are like super super great but if you just want to like you know call in and say like yeah they're super great you should also do that so it's the same phone number so if you guys could do that that'd be fun and awesome and i would also love if you could leave us a review on itunes please do that because i left one and um if you figure out which one i left okay guys we will see you back in two weeks and for that episode we are trying to solicit some questions that have more of a theme to them now that the school year is ending prom has either already happened or is happening you've got graduation or you've got promotion going from fifth grade to sixth grade. That's what we call

it. Also, if you're that young and listening to this, I apologize. I hope you have noise canceling headphones. Your parents can't hear you. I would love to get some of those themed questions, whether like how do what what should I do to get a prom date or how do I deal with something super embarrassing I did at prom, like get really drunk and then fall asleep on the floor. Hey, that was me. So I think we would love that. I mean, I don't think we would love that. I know we would love that so if you could call us any of those questions specifically use the phone number 310-694-0976 again it is 310-694-0976 and we'll be taking questions that aren't just end of the school year themed or all of that stuff but we thought it'd be kind of fun to do more of like

a themed episode and if it goes well and you have other ideas for like themed episodes to direct that advice towards hey if this one does well maybe we'll reward you with one about penis i don't know something thanks so much for listening guys uh i will uh hear you no no you i will i'll hear you but you'll hear me in two weeks so just sit down twiddle your thumbs just don't move just become a statue and wait it's like a chastity belt for your ears goodbye guys this isn't an ad this is more just like me asking for a favor and no it's not sexual which is no one likes asking for sexual favors you just like hand what fuck okay well guys i am asking you to leave a review for my podcast on itunes just search it on itunes you're i mean

honestly you're already here so if you could just like click like the logo and then it takes to landing page and then you can leave a review i would love if it could be a five-star review if you're not gonna leave a five-star review please just like don't leave a review in general because that doesn't help me at all and i thought that i would read some of my favorite reviews which is like positive reinforcement for you to leave great reviews because then i'll read them on the air i'm tricking you except it's not tricking because i told you what i'm doing the first one comes from mary lynce and she said the perfect podcast and uh her full review is this is absolutely my favorite podcast it feels like megan is my big sister and giving me advice

heart amazing i love that that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside so thank you so much mary my other favorite one comes from um someone who's for us bandit and it says yes queen no really it's great so those are my two favorite reviews right now if you feel like you could top those reviews can you review it better than people review sugar-free gummy bears on amazon where it's like this aspartame made me shit myself except my podcast has nothing to do with shitting myself you should listen to grace helving's podcast for those sort of tidbits um i would love you guys to leave a review because then i will read it out loud get creative think of some haikus but also make it like actually like legitimate so when people like look at it they're

not like who who paid all these like people to like leave reviews for her podcast that'd be really great i just need validation constantly so thanks guys in advance don't blame me is a production by me, produced and directed by Jack Ferry, associate producer Melissa DeMonts, edited by Melissa DeMonts, post-production sound by Chris Henry, and music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter. I will see you guys in two weeks, and don't blame me if your life burst into flames before then.