Don't Blame Me! - S2E1: Guest: Sasha Pieterse - Giving Advice!

Episode Date: May 11, 2018

We promised we’d be back in May, and here we are for Season 2! I hope you didn’t miss us too much. This week my good friend and co-star from “The Honor List,” Sasha Pieterse joins! We’re answering your questions on dealing with getting fired because you were tipsy at a bar, keeping a friendship with your roommate’s ex, and what to do if you’re married and have the hots for your co-worker.What Men Think Of Each Of The 8 Different Types Of Vaginas: https://goo.gl/ooxn5WNeed Advice?Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrosette-Thanks to Casper for supporting our channel. Save $50 on select mattresses at http://www.casper.com/blame code - blameSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. On this episode of Don't Blame Me, we have Sasha Petersaw as a guest who's sitting right here. We talk about military wives as a callback, we talk about giving blowjobs, and we also talk about a teacher who was wrongly fired. Casper's mattresses are designed by humans for humans. The original Casper mattress combines multiple supportive memory foams for a quality sleep surface with just the right sink and just the right bounce get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash blame and using promo

code blame at checkout hello everybody and welcome back to don't blame me season two wow we have a second season we've officially been picked up by us go us and we have such an exciting guest this has been somebody that you guys have wanted forever and i've been i've been saying i'm going to introduce her like this um since we met uh because nobody can pronounce her last name so um introducing sasha which i think should just be the new way when everyone can't pronounce it but it's okay with that yeah thanks hi hi i love you i missed you i missed you um if you guys want to see us um just like you know gush over each other we are filming this for the internet for youtube so if you want to um check it out there um you can watch us too and the world wide web

the world wide wide the world wide web um so yeah guys this is our first episode back and uh yeah i mean i feel like i'm a little rusty i was just telling sasha that i've been giving people unsolicited advice that um i usually don't talk to that much and i've been like here let me help you with your life so i feel like i really i really need this um and i've been getting a lot dms of people who are like my life is going to shambles and i'm like i'm here to come back and i feel like you're gonna be very good at this i'm really excited because do you want to tell the story about that time um where god was his cum slut natasha where tbt to cum slut natasha natasha where you thought that we that um uh i was telling the story and sasha's like oh no no

i've heard this before you told me this and then across her face just goes no you talked about the podcast but you didn't tell me so I uh secretly or not so secretly binged Megan's podcast and I just started talking about things that I would have only known if I listened to it so it was one of those I'm like looking at her I'm like I've never told you that it was kind of worse than Instagram stalking someone because it was like a very long period of time so how many how many podcast episodes are in season one that was a lot a lot like a decent number yeah so we would listen to it in the car i live about an hour away from la so literally you just binge i love it's podcast and i i really loved it it made me very fond of all of the stories it made me very happy

and it was also funny because it's it's as opposed to like somebody who i don't know like talking to me like i know you like it made me question everything i'm like i mean i definitely could have told you that but i'm pretty sure i haven't no which is why i loved it so i just love it I love you. And I was seeing you a lot at that point, too. So it was just I couldn't get enough of Megan. Megan's voice was constantly in my head. Oh, God.

That's annoying. No, I love it. Well, I'm so happy you are here. I'm happy to be here. You guys might wonder how Sasha and I know each other. Actually, at this point, no one probably fucking wonders how we know each other. I think everybody knows. I think everybody knows.

By the time this is out, our movie will be out, right? Yeah. So we did a movie together called The Honor List is what it's called now. I'm okay with it. we had to have a name change and i finally started stop i finally stopped calling it honored which is which is cool it's good but um if you guys want to go download it we'll have everything listed in the description yeah yeah we can do that yeah i also want you to know when my dad watched the trailer he was like loved it when you socked that guy in the face and i was like that was not me

that's how much we look alike my own father watched it and thought it was me that's pretty great yeah i mean to be fair it was far away it was pretty far away like we do look like pretty like very similar yeah i get it i get it i was like really really but i mean i was turned that turned out good it did i was very surprised looked really real it's a good cut in the trailer you guys have seen the trailer and then you see the movie you'll understand what they uh they cut around something um oh my gosh guys yeah this show if you're new here this is an advice podcast where you call in with questions or things are happening in your life and we do our best to give advice and who was that sexy voice you just heard that was mel oh hello hey you get good phone sex

operator voice i'd love to do that would you actually i would so love no way yeah oh my god i love that oh i mean i would be so i would giggle the whole time uncontrollably i would not be able to do that no like how do you say like certain dirty things like with a straight face when you're just like sitting at home in your sweatpants i would also i think i feel like what would be reciprocated would be really stupid too so like what the fuck why would you say that that's disgusting nobody says that no one are you calling in yeah you just gotta think of it as improv go with the flow true good acting exercise oh that's gonna be i'm gonna go method for a while guys going off the grid gonna be a phone sex operator gonna make me a way better

actor let's hope so okay close your eyes megan think about it you took your adderall today okay so if you guys want to call into the podcast the number is 310-694-0976 you did it i think i'm getting smarter fuck college who needs it not me some of you people who probably called in but we definitely didn't do you know sasha graduated high school before me and she's younger that's not that's a little unfair i i was homeschooled yeah i was homeschooled so that's a little homeschool jungle freak pretty much except not at all i'm katie from from being girls um basically i'm from south africa i didn't know that but it's true like most people know that now oh my gosh international callers if you want to call in you can send us an

audio message just record it on your phone and send it to meganpodcast at gmail.com wow wow fucking go me god i'm improving season two okay yeah i think i'm ready hi um i'm a 17 year old girl from dallas texas and so i have always been the tallest of my friends and just those around me in general. And now in high school, I'm 5'10", and I'm just really insecure about my height and the fact that all my friends are like average height, 5' to 5'6", and I always just stand out in crowds and look like this giant. And at my school, there's a decent amount of guys that are above six foot but the thing is they all like the really tiny girls and so I I just I never get asked out and that makes me feel super insecure and just looking different from all my friends

is just that makes me feel insecure too and so my question is how do I come to terms the fact that i'm tall and i'll always be taller than most of the people around me and how do i let the fact that guys kind of scared off by my height not impact my self-esteem how do i come to terms with how tall i am well good thing you don't want to peak in high school i feel like that's the first thing and also models are gorgeous and they're tall i feel like a lot of girls have this issue one of my really good friends when i was growing up was six foot and she struggled with that especially with dating other guys and i can i totally get it because i must be super intimidating i feel like just tall girls intimidate other guys in general uh which is pretty lame but whatever uh but i

think that's that it just once i think she gets out of high school it'll be a lot easier i mean i was i'm not 5 10 i if anyone if a director or producer is watching this my imdb says i'm 5 7 that's totally true now leave the podcast I'm like five eight five it was also one of the first things she asked me so how tall are you because I was trying to give six she's like oh yeah not five seven yeah I was like literally because I asked her to count five six and I was like yeah I'm IMDB height I'm really lying like I'm lying a lot compared to this so I'm like five I would say I'm like between five eight and five nine depending on like how tall I stand up and like how much stretching I've done um but I was five I think I was I think I was this height I

was five seven five eight in like fifth grade so I grew really fast and I was always taller than all of my friends especially because all of my friends are like extremely petite like one of my best friends to like to this day she's like four she says she's four ten and three quarters she's like four nine and like most of my friends are like right around five feet tall and so I've had that like that height difference this whole time and definitely it sucked in high school and middle school because the guys really were like we didn't have anyone who was taller than me except for like maybe one or two guys and so my boyfriends that I was dating were right around my same height I mean now like Mott's is he's taller than me but if I wear heels I'm taller than him and it's something

that I used to I used to so so so so so hate being tall and now like in exactly like she's saying like you really stick out and you stand out which when you are like feeling awkward or growing up you don't want to stand out at all but once you become an adult like you usually do want to stand out yeah and like when i go to meetings now like especially as a woman like i want to feel like i can like command the room and i have some control and like i will end up wearing heels to meetings so like i'm gonna be i want to be even taller than that yeah and then when it comes to dating like one of my best friends one of my best friends leo he's been on the podcast before his girlfriend maddie is like sick i'm not gonna say significantly taller than him but like she's like 5 10 5 11 and

that's who he's attracted to like yeah he's always into girls who are taller than him he's like i'm dating a model like there's something hot about being a confident guy who can be with like a girl who's that tall so like you're gonna end up dating a guy who's super self-assured and is like very confident and will like you because you're tall not necessarily in spite of you being tall like i think it's a very attractive quality yeah i think that definitely is something that is acquired after high school yeah and like and it's something that is empowering like you said like it's it's a quality that people wish they had because i always wanted to be petite like my whole life i always wanted to be like pocket size like fit and like be like fun and like some guy can like throw you

around or whatever but like come on if your guy like if you like lift some weights he can toss you around too like just because you're tall doesn't necessarily mean that you're missing out on those no yeah because i think there's and i and there's so many people i know who are shorter who wish they were taller like there's benefits to both um and yeah you kind of just got i mean you didn't you can't chop your legs off so you kind of just gotta you gotta deal with that roll with it yeah date basketball players right they're pretty hot yeah they're pretty pretty pretty hot and also eventually i think you're gonna probably care less about other people's sides i always wish i was like at least two or three inches taller to be fair see i'm marrying someone who's six five

yeah i can wear the tallest heels on the planet and i always said that i wish i was shorter but like there's no everybody wants what they don't have and then there's other times where i'm like oh i'm glad i'm tall but yeah i can reach things in the top shelf which some of my friends can't yeah no i have to climb up on the counter i'm five almost one five almost one yeah yeah so there's benefits to each and i think exactly like sasha said once you once you get a little bit older um you'll start to you'll start to care less about your height and if you start caring you'll be caring in like a good way that you'll like it on to the next one hi megan um i am 19 in college and basically i've never had a guy friend like throughout all of us i just never

clicked with guys but um this year now i'm a sophomore and i do have a best guy friend and i'm super happy about that the thing is he was dating my friend my one of my best friends she's my roommate and the only reason i became those with him because after the fact that him and her started talking we just started to get to know him more we knew of him but then like he started hanging out more and me him just clicked and we consider each other best friends um aside from him dating my friend this girl um it was known throughout so these started like last semester and so everyone this was a known fact that we would text more than him and my friend who were dating because she just was not a texter they would much rather talk in person so that was a

known fact but um beginning of this semester and beginning of 2018 he moved to another school out of state and so that kind of like the distance between her and him kind of made things a little more difficult and they would still try to talk but again like me and him would be the ones who talk more and text more and like all of our conversations would mostly be about her and just like planning how like what gifts to get her and just like all about her and advice on that so strictly platonic but like we still do connect on another level and just like are really comfortable with each other um and I would constantly ask him to ask her and my friends to ask her uh if she felt weird about us talking she would always say no but just recently I found out

they broke up and I just want to know what your advice is on if me and him should still talk and And I did ask her, like, I asked her the fact that I, like, just found out that they broke up. I did ask her, I was like, we are still, like, talking. Like, please tell me if you ever feel uncomfortable or just don't like me and him talking again. She said that she told him that she didn't care, but then she would make a little joke, like, he's my boyfriend, like, never again. Which, like, she's just, like, a joker, and she's really chill, but I just, like, don't know. and so your advice like i was just wondering what your advice would be if i should continue talking to him or what it's like who are you closer that's what i was gonna say is it's kind

of like are you feeling like you shouldn't be friends with him anymore just because you feel bad yeah but do you think like what what friendship is going to last longer is she just really close to you right now because she's your roommate like you said and you went to college with her or is it because because i mean i've definitely had friends where i've and i will admit like i'm i'm like i've had a lot of i've been friends with a lot of couples who've broken up and i am like very adamant on if i'm closer with one of these people or if like this breakup was like nasty in any way if this breakup was nasty and i was closer to the person who did the breaking up with like i'm still going to be friends with the person who got dumped and i'm going to tell my friend who was nasty that

they were nasty like that's kind of who i am as a friend but if my friend gets if i'm friends with a couple and my the one i'm closer to gets screwed over i'm not going to be friends with that person but also if it's amicable that's also kind of harder yeah because you don't really know so ultimately yeah i think it's like what friendship exactly you're saying like what friendship do you foresee lasting because i think ultimately it's not i don't know i think you have to make the decision for yourself like asking her if she feels comfortable with it she's probably not going to tell you if she feels uncomfortable it sounds like she is kind of uncomfortable with it but she doesn't want to necessarily ruin your friendship which is also i mean respectful and

you have to decide what's is it valid yeah like if this is one of your if this is just your roommate and it's not somebody you foresee having like a lifelong friendship with and you foresee having a lifelong friendship with him it doesn't really matter that you met him through her if you guys are going to end up being better friends yeah so if like that's the friendship that you want to pursue then i say like definitely go for it because ultimately if there wasn't any hard feelings in that breakup then whoever they were going to grow apart naturally and you were probably going to end up growing apart with whatever person you're not as close with but yeah it's i would say the only thing is to just be respectful about it as far as don't talk about him a lot don't you know what i

mean like since it is her ex-boyfriend i wouldn't really confide in her about anything necessarily or talk about if i was her friend too i mean like the underlying note in this is like there's definitely like why is he talking to you right why is he talking to you more than her yeah and i think that if i were you i would evaluate your feelings like regardless of if he has feelings for you evaluate yours i my high school boyfriend and i um started dating in not totally like a similar way but we were just like good friends because my friend was dating his friend and we just became really good friends and I was like helping him ask another girl out to prom and all this stuff and like we were texting all the time we would talk about the girls that he was into and I didn't

realize until one of my friends drunkenly called him and was like by the way Megan's in love with you and I was like I am and I had no way and I was like she called me she's like yeah you are and I was like oh my gosh I am and I think like saying that he's not a big texter with her um I it's a red flag it is like it's something like if i if my boy if my boyfriend my boyfriend and like my friends get along super well but if like moths was like texting sasha more than me i'd be like the hell yeah so it's kind of like i think ultimately there might even be some weird feelings that she's had there since the beginning right um because like i don't know like i text like i again like i mentioned leo but like leo's like my one of my very very very best friends and

i text him all the time and i'm friends with his girlfriend maddie too but i knew leo first so there isn't that weird hey i'm friends with like i'm friends with your girlfriend and now i'm kind of just like talking to your boyfriend all the time right i just think that's something that i would i would evaluate your feelings in the situation because maybe yeah maybe you guys just ended up being like really great friends um but it does to me like pose kind of like a maybe there's something more to this yeah and then yeah it's also college so you just gotta like you got to do what you feel is right you don't necessarily like be a good person and totally be respectful of everybody in the situation like Sasha said like don't talk about it with her but

also um figure out how you feel instead of just kind of being a sounding board for him to talk about girls and then right just to be like her supportive friend and that like you got to have your own right now it just sounds like you were a part of their love story and like exactly yeah like what about you like do you like do you figure out what you really want out of this too instead of just being there for everybody else. Okay, on to the next one. Hi, Megan, and possibly guest. So I am a longtime listener, first time caller. Leaving this voicemail makes me so nervous because this is the first time I'm actually saying this out loud. I'm 27 years old. I've been happily married for about five years. I never thought I would have gotten married so young. I'm 22. But

I've always thought I was pretty mature for my age. Plus, I just happened to find my person really young in life um however I am currently in a situation recently I have been getting pretty close to one of my male co-workers um and I'm pretty sure I am crushing hard this is really unlike me and I've literally never felt like this and it's really freaking me out obviously um I really do love my husband and in no way am I saying that I want to leave him for this co-worker however I just like can't stop thinking about him and I can't help but have feelings for him This guy is a lot older than me, and he's really charming. He's a really good person.

He's also married. However, he has insinuated that there are some problems there. So we do a lot of flirting back and forth. And regarding his marriage, I haven't asked him about it because I just don't think that's appropriate. And we have not crossed any lines, nor do I think I would. but the fact is that I kind of want to and that's not okay so my question is what would you do if you had a crush uh knowing full well that you're in a committed af relationship I'm like smiling to Mel off camera because I've been in this situation before but I've been the other person

in the situation so I'm gonna be super fucking honest um and I apologize in advance like this is definitely coming from like a personal me have been the girl like the girlfriend of I'm your husband in this situation like I've been this person before so I'm coming from it from that perspective you already have crossed a line by having a crush on somebody there's a difference between having like an innocent crush on somebody and then having like there's a thing it makes micro cheating emotional cheating and that's what's currently happening and I think a lot of people who have been in that situation I am like a very very very very very decisive person so immediately if i ever had feelings for somebody else i'd be like gone done um but sometimes if

you're in a very committed relationship and you love somebody it can kind of creep up on you like a crush um and it's ultimately i think yeah if you want to yeah so like you saying that you haven't crossed a line you already have in an because emotional cheating is a thing and i personally think it's more hurtful than physically cheating because it's it's something that's harder to it's such a gray area and it's harder as you as the person who's been partaking in this it's harder to hold yourself accountable to it because it feels very innocent because it's just talking and there's no expectation and you have no intention of doing anything but ultimately like you you're doing something that would make your partner uncomfortable my thought process is like

i would never talk to or treat somebody unless being paid and then i would like in a movie and my boyfriend would know i would never i never would treat anybody um in a way that i would feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend was standing right next to me and like that's just how i believe it should be i think um i think you need to evaluate um i think you need to talk to your husband and i think being on as much as it sucks i would have loved to have heard it i would have love to have not found out on my own i would have loved to have like the person i was dating to have like sat me down and been like hey i want to be honest with you um i love you and i really care about you but i've developed a crush on this person and it's made me question things and i

think ultimately there you guys can discuss what you want to do whether that's like going to therapy you or whether that's like divorcing and not being together anymore i think this is a really hard situation obviously um i think i agree 100 agree with you um something to think about and yes it is a generalization but for the most part when you were talking about emotional versus physical you're very right about that and to keep in mind that women generally are more emotional than they are physical so this guy at work um no wonder he's making himself conveniently available and talking about his marriage problems most likely he's in it for the physical side of it at least that's i'm almost 100 positive that's the way he's thinking about it um and you are

thinking about it already from the beginning emotionally which is where the danger comes into play because i'm sure he's physically attractive it sounds like you are attracted it to him physically but you are getting a high off of his his characteristics and personality but you're getting a high off of it from his personality first so you're emotionally invested in this before anything else which is definitely something that is a huge red flag I think since you're married it does make things even more complicated and I have a lot of friends who gotten married young i've gotten divorced or have been together now for years i've i've most of my friends i would say that i'm really close to are married and so i've seen this happen

a lot and being someone who is getting married young and who has met my partner young and has been together with him for a very long time i think something to remember is this is always something that can be temporary so evaluating your feelings is very important i would say definitely talk to your spouse about this but just know that you may have a crush on this person but i can almost guarantee you that that's something that will not last so know that if you break up your marriage this little thing that's happening with your co-worker i don't think will last either so know the impact of your feelings because if you do end your marriage um i don't think as a female i could personally be in a relationship with the person that i was

crushing on because i would 100 consistently be worried about him doing the exact same thing it really is so so no like once you talk to your spouse about this if you guys decide to work it out that's amazing and that could make you guys stronger but if you guys do separate i highly doubt that it's going to work out with your co-worker so know that you are not leaving your husband for this person you're leaving it you're leaving it for an idea and you're leaving it because it'll make you happier in the end if that's not the case then there's a lot of other issues internally that you need to figure out and you and your spouse need to figure out and it could simply it could be as simple as your board it could be as simple as you've lost a little bit

of chemistry with your partner and it could be as simple as trying to find it with him instead of somebody else yeah um because i feel like i feel like it is very easy to do that whole like my gym husband my work husband my whatever but it it's it's something that i i wouldn't i i feel like a policy like you had touched on is that you should never do anything towards somebody else that you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being in the room with yeah there shouldn't be anything to hide and and if you feel like you're hiding something that's an immediate red flag so if this this is you said this is the first time you've really said this out loud um and you've you said you've been really thinking about it a lot just admitting it out loud is something that

you it's just you know that this is something that you've been hiding and then there's a reason that you feel bad about it yeah there's something to hide right yeah yeah she said she didn't just say she has a crush on him she said she has feelings for him yeah and so if you want to stay in your marriage if that's what you want if you don't want to cheat on your spouse remove yourself from the situation yeah you're working together that's something that i like i've i've definitely I don't know like there's people that I've like found physically attractive that that's a natural thing yeah but I would never let myself get close to that person because of that like if I ever took like let's say like I ever took like a workout class or like something like that where I thought

the instructor was super hot and he was like talking to me or flirting with me I'd be like cool never taking this class again like I've been in meetings with people who are like oh we want to work on this project I'm like I'm really attracted to you and you're flirting with me and not that I don't trust myself but like i don't want to i don't want yourself in that position no and i don't want to put my partner in that position and ultimately i think the biggest betrayal and all of the stuff that i felt when i went through this wasn't the crush it was the lying to and it's like when someone's hiding something like that from you there's a level of continued disrespect and like a level just continuing of that of being like i don't actually amplify the situation yeah

because it's something where like this started off small but you didn't tell me and you hid it from me and now it's spiraled into this like massive thing where it's been like cover up live or cover up over all that stuff and like withholding information is still lying and i think ultimately like you might feel guilty for having it go on this far but exactly like sasha's saying it's like if you have massive immense immense feelings for this guy first of all i he wouldn't he's talking to you about his like marriage and shambles because like he's giving you an in he's giving you and you she actually said that yeah she's yeah and so like you're you're being given that and so ultimately if this crush represents you questioning your marriage and then re-evaluate

it like this but if this guy makes you question your marriage i think you need to really focus on your husband because like we're saying like the idea of having a crush and having feelings for somebody besides your husband if it's about that and that freaks you out or if it's this specific guy you need to decipher between that like is this your are you being like shit this is actually my dream man this is who i should have been with and if that's the case i think you and him would probably have had a different relationship up until this point like i think and actually it probably would have been more of a friendship without flirting because i feel like completely that's kind of how that develops first yeah um the other thing is just that

i think maybe you should think about what this person what your co-worker has that your husband doesn't what what is what you're attracted to more compared to your husband so you were saying that he was older that he's really funny that he's so the things that you're really attracted to is it something that you're you feel like you are lacking in your partner and if that's the case and that's also something to mention if you have this conversation with your spouse to be like listen i feel like i have a lot of fun with this person and i feel like we don't have fun anymore let's work on that yeah and and so or if you're you don't feel like your spouse is mature enough or you feel like he's slacking off in a certain way then you needs to be addressed otherwise it

will never get better and it's it's a way to grow with your partner like everybody everybody gets comfortable everybody um you know loses the spark sometimes or like it's it's a marriage is something to work on for the rest of your life and if you're not willing to work with that person for the rest of your life then then you do need to change and it would it could be this guy it could be any other guy like it just it needs to it's a life decision so it's it's an important one and i think it's a necessary conversation yeah otherwise this will continue to happen and you're going to be unhappy and your spouse isn't going to know why but he's going to be really unhappy too so it doesn't make for a happy life especially please don't do it before you have kids i don't know if you have

yeah yeah that's what i yeah yeah and i just be honest just be honest babies don't fix anything literally nothing we've said this before we're like get a dog if you need something new in your life but yeah i would say be honest with him as soon as possible um i think a lot of people fear um i'm a very honest person and i really respect when people are honest with me even if it like totally hurts me in the moment um ultimately withholding this from him it's only getting worse the more it happens and also withholding it from him doesn't guarantee that everything's going to be fine right um because ultimately the more that you lie to him you're creating this invisible barrier and you're creating that and it makes it easier to lie about other stuff and withhold

information about these other things um and so i yeah i would definitely i would definitely talk to your husband before you talk to the uh other other guy about it i wouldn't really even he's not really a factor in it I would say I would say really just focus on is this does this make you question I don't know it's like yeah it's like also like do you want to give up what you have for like like what Sasha's saying with like what what traits does this person have that your husband's lacking also like what we were saying it's like is is it just because this is somebody like I think about me now I'm like the amount of times that I would I like I like never wear makeup around the house anymore like I'm constantly in a face mask and sweatpants like I'm not trying as

much anymore and like neither is moths but it's like if you're in a relationship when you are flirting with someone someone's new you're like oh wow this person i don't have to ask this person to take the garbage out i don't resent this person for not going grocery shopping i don't like there's still an air of mystery there and like a sense of attraction because you don't know everything yeah but there's also something that like yeah that you were attracted to your partner in the beginning like you had that phase and so like that phase doesn't represent like oh my partner and like our relationship sucks because I don't have like these same sort of feelings I don't know of any relationship that constantly feels like the first three months of dating

which would be terrible because that's like high anxiety of like I'm wearing mascara to sleep but like ultimately like that comfortability and feeling like someone can see you at your worst sure it feels exciting that you want to get dressed up for somebody and you want somebody to think you're attractive and stuff the other thing is um with this sort of situation I think it's probably the excitement of it too because i i'm sure you guys are at work being sneaky about it and it's something that's like you know oh you know but you're showing your best colors and at the end of the day if you were to be with him that goes away that will eventually fade and it's not as exciting anymore and you are going to be left with the fact that like both of you

whether it was the right decision or not now have had broken marriages and and and that's fine if he is your soulmate and but there's certain qualities that he has that aren't something that you should really be looking for in a relationship like being comfortable flirting with you when you're married at work too which is by the way so something that everybody does everybody goes to work and so his next job your next job like you're going to be worried about so is he just going to find another co-worker that he's attracted to it'll it'll always be in your mind okay sorry we really went on this one i warned you call our number one you and i'm sorry i'm sorry but i feel like you gotta you gotta hear this especially if you you haven't really

said it out loud to anybody else i'm a bitch i warned you okay should we go into the next call let's take a break okay let's take a break i was like i'm fucking done this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by casper casper is a sleep brand that continues to revolutionize its line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable sleep experience one night at a time casper's mattresses are designed by humans for humans the original casper mattress combines multiple supportive memory foams for a quality sleep service with just the right sink and just the right bounce casper's breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulate your body temperature throughout the night and guess what guys they are not just

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room and I actually was just in New York recently staying at my friend Kyle's house and my gosh, i complimented his mattress like this is so comfortable he's like guess where i got this it's like where he said casper um i honestly don't think he used my code because he probably doesn't listen to this podcast but guys don't be stupid like kyle get a comfortable mattress and save some money off of it so get fifty dollars towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash blame and using promo code blame at checkout that's fifty dollars towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash blame and using promo code blame at checkout terms and conditions apply okay guys we are back we are hopping into more calls hop hop hop hi megan i'm

in my mid-20s and i'm calling because i was recently fired from my job and i feel like the circumstances around that situation were very unfair and i'd like to get your perspective on it. So basically I started teaching elementary school in August of last year. This is my first year teaching. Everything was going really great until we were let out for Christmas break. I love my class. I have great co-workers. I was just loving everything. On New Year's Eve I went out to a bar with some of my friends and we had some drinks. Again I'm in my mid-20s so this is completely legal. We had a designated driver, so I wasn't doing anything wrong. When we came back to work after the break, my boss told me that a parent filed a complaint

against me because she saw me out at the bar on New Year's Eve, drunk and partying, which I wasn't drunk. I was tipsy, yes, but not drunk. Anyway, she decided that because of this, I was setting a bad example for her son and that she no longer wanted him in my class. I live in a small community, so she talked to other parents about what she saw, and rumors were started, and eventually a ton of my students' parents were calling my boss asking for their kids to be removed from my class. And my boss said, she said, and this is a direct quote, that my actions were selfish unnecessary and have caused the school a great deal of inconvenience. So I tried

to state my side of the story. She immediately brushed me off and said that they had to let me go because as teachers we have to be held to a higher standard than other members of society. This went down in January. It's now March and I've not been able to find another job. I've applied for every open teaching position that's been advertised and nothing um i'm asking for advice because i really don't know what to do anymore there's also so much more to this story that i can't even share because of the time limit um but i don't know what to do because i was just starting out in my career and now i've essentially been completely discredited and i don't know where to go from here that is so shitty

that's so fucking shitty first of all if they're supposed to be held to a higher level of everyone else in society then they should uh they should get paid better that's that's one thing um but also that's it's it's such a double standard and the fact that she's teaching kids in elementary school like that's something that she that type of behavior wouldn't have even been seen by them well and also the mom was at the bar too is she setting a bad example of being a mom where are your kids on new year's eve why aren't you celebrating with your kids like that's such a somebody else who has your kids for like six hours a day for five days a week is more has to set a better example than you is it which i'm saying like there's no i don't think either of you are

setting a bad example by being at a bar and drinking above legal age but you're holding her to a higher standard as your kid's teacher than you are holding yourself as the kid's mom yeah it's well first of all it's it's it's just as simple as projection there's probably something that she doesn't like about you that maybe you're hot and you're her husband checked you out right it could it could be so simple it could also be she could i guarantee you she's one of those stay-at-home moms which is totally fine like that that's awesome but that's not my point the point is she's probably a stay-at-home mom that is the girl that goes around and freaking reports people like to the hoa like those are the type of people that don't have anything else

better to do and i can understand that you're you know your kid means a should definitely be your first priority it means a lot to you but that is something that is so unrelated to your kids you know it's not like you're a drug and alcohol counselor for your child who went to juvie and you're drinking the other thing is um if if there were other signs and there would be more complaints along the way about something that actually was relative to his or hers um uh what do you call it like, learning experience. Like, if there were certain things that weren't being checked or kids weren't understanding their school,

like, there was homework that wasn't being done well, whatever the reason, that's different. But if that is her only complaint to you, it's like you were drinking at a bar and acting, even if, honestly, even if she got shit-faced and passed out on the floor, like, it... Yeah, it's unrelated to your child's education. There should have been a bigger, I would say...

investigation even even if an investigation got opened up like she should have had to there should have been way more of um of a conversation between the school and her and also the school and you um also it's really shitty that she has the power over a lot of people little lies yeah that's immediately what i thought yeah it's and i think ultimately like what i would do is like i don't know how um how like hr works for schools i was gonna say but like this is definitely something like you have um i was listening to a different podcast won't promote it just kidding it's on affair so she doesn't need any help promoting it um but they had somebody who like called in um and did uh was referencing another they yeah they they have like a corrections kind of corner

which a lot of podcasts do um where they had advised somebody not to go to hr when they were getting like bullied in the workplace and this woman had called in who worked in an hr department to like kind of give a follow-up and she had mentioned something which i hadn't really heard of um aside from like you know like tv shows and stuff which is uh a wrongful termination lawsuits because it is affecting you finding a new job i think ultimately it is worth it to go through like the legal process of wrongful termination because ultimately yes it's costly and it's something but if you if it is genuinely which it sounds like it is like is that is the reason why because i'm sure it's references and stuff because this is your first teaching position you don't

have any other references this is the reason why that you are not able to get a job in the same field i think it's you should because it sounds like you have a very serious case and if you talk to um uh is it a what is it an employment lawyer then job lawyer uh i think labor labor yeah labor yeah they'll be able to tell you if you have a case against this and figure that out um and because i think yeah i wouldn't say like move i was gonna say that really is if you want to continue that job line that's really your only other option yeah she's in a small town yeah yeah and i think um yeah i think there's just like we were talking about before like there's there are definitely some people who get a massive power trip out of controlling um and there's a lot of

people who have some free time which again like no shame on stay-at-home mom no i hope i can yeah to some degree but it's a full-time job like it's a full and it's like a job and a half that's not the point but there are those types of people that like she you're super invested and so it becomes like there there is that that same sort of like i mean like i also grew up in a place where um we had a lot of like working moms and then we also had a lot of like moms who used to work at google and then were stay-at-home moms like these are like cutthroat business women who then would take those same tactics to like preschool and so like there are certain things that i remember like we had to have like my gosh they were like the whole thing of getting new vending machines at

the school that like only had that had like perishable foods that were healthy foods and it cost the school so much money to do this because like people were just like adamant on this so like there is there are people like that who make it their goal and also i'm sure this woman is one of like like you were saying it's one of those women who like the reason why the principal and the school board was like okay we're gonna go along with this i'm sure this is the 10 000 thing that she's done and that she kind of whether she's pulling the strings or ultimately they were like we just need her to shut up about this one thing because she has not picked her battles and has all this other stuff like they're god forbid she has more children in that school like please just

go to high school so ultimately like they're appeasing her yeah by fucking you over and it's it's not kosher like it's definitely like they're and also if you got if you have an entertainment lawyer uh no that's what we have what's it called labor labor labor i still i don't know if that's exactly what it's called but somebody that deals with that yes yeah so if you get a lawyer um they're going to be able to uh also sit down with the school board and the principal and all that stuff to figure out if that is why you were terminated or if that was the reason that you were given and um they're going to have to offer a lot more explanation in a legal sense than they would to you because to you it's just courtesy they don't have to say

anything to you once you bring uh legal in especially since you're younger too they're probably counting on the fact that you don't know those certain things and a woman and a woman yeah and it's probably just like a whatever it's it's easier to do this but that will bite them in the ass yeah i'm sure because i yeah i don't think it's legal at all and it sucks and i'm so sorry because i think it also can be a massive blow to your um confidence in in your job field and it also as you know and like we said from the beginning like just make sure you remember that they are not correlated like how great of a teacher you are is not correlated with the fact that like and even you say i wasn't even drunk i was tipsy who cares if you were drunk like you

like it's not relevant um it didn't affect your work no and also everybody's on holiday it wasn't like you were showing up to school the next day hungover passed out on yeah on a on a sunday and you were like getting up early on a monday to teach their kids like it really is and no one yells at finance bros for like doing a fuck ton of coke to stay up and like do the stock market and shit like every if you showed up to school with like an iv for you know hydration yeah then maybe i can see difference but i mean we all watch your problem everyone drinks wine or watches reality tv or does things that like make them human you don't have to be like a superhuman teacher on your off time like it makes you a better teacher to actually have a personal life

and do all that stuff and then let us know what happens i'm very curious please call back please do i'll be listening yeah she will okay on to the next call hey megan um 17 years old turning 18 and a month and I just wanted some advice me and my boyfriend we've been intimate because I've known him for about almost two years and I trust him and he's 19 so I feel like yeah I can like fuck up but like let's hope not you know and when we do stuff he always goes down on me you know like that shit but I haven't had the balls to do it back to him just because I find it disgusting that's like I had one bad experience going down on a guy and it just doesn't turn out right you know so I wanted to know your advice on like helping me get through it because I feel kind

bad i feel kind of selfish well i don't think he would mind if you asked him to teach you yeah because i think i think honestly i don't when it comes to like like women who are attracted to men um or guys were directed to men or whatever i i find the only time the only way you would i mean like it's not like i'm it's it's not like going to disneyland like it's not like a fun activity right for you necessarily the only time that it's fun is when you know you're good at it and that makes it fun but ultimately like i think there's a fear there of being bad at it which then makes you dislike it and ultimately like it it isn't the same way that like guys can say that they like love going down on girls and stuff but they don't love the physical act of going down on

a girl they love the response yeah and like they love like making you feel great and so ultimately like that if you end up if you get good at it he's gonna feel great and it's going to make you feel great in return so it's not like that's why you do stuff like that like it's not like it's a mutually beneficial thing um or a mutually pleasurable thing because it's a turn on to like make somebody else like it makes you feel fucking hot you're like god i'm the fucking best go me me every time i give head i'm like i'm great oh yeah high five me yeah literally ultimately like they're definitely like the god i remember like the first time i ever gave head which was like i'm sure like a terrible terrible experience for like him because it was so awkward

for me too because like it's not like i don't know it's like not like like riding a bike you don't have instincts that kick in you're like i like do they mean like it's not like you automatically know what to do um and i think there's this there's this idea which i've always struggled with um there's something super sexy about um a woman or a man because i'm attracted to it in men um someone who's really really confident and i think it's really hard like i would have definitely like never i'm never 100 confident in all aspects of my life at all the time and it's really hard because you want to perceive that image because you know it's attractive and you know that that's something that guys like I just love a girl who's really

confident and knows she's sexy and you're like but fuck I don't really know that I'm sexy so I have to pretend that I know that I'm sexy and then when it comes down to like doing something like giving a blowjob or giving head or whatever that's something where you can't really fake you can fake feeling sexy in other ways but that's something that like you're really out of your element and it's not a team sport i think they're i mean it can be it can be it can be um i think that there is a way to accomplish yeah basically what you're saying and by asking him how there's there's a way of you being confident in that and wanting to know and him knowing that you want to know yeah how to make him feel good and i think if you're confident asking and and i i think i

don't think he will mind showing you and there's there's a intimacy to that as well and he ultimately you all want to give good head he wants you to give him great head he doesn't want you to be a mind reader at all and there's like you're saying there's something sexy about like if you like can like confidently and sexually like ask him and like say like oh like how do you like this blah blah blah like what like that kind of thing yeah he's not going to be like no I really want you to guess it's like let's take it like this it's like if he was going to propose to you and you know exactly what engagement ring you want and then you know exactly exactly what you want and he asks you what you want you go no i want you to guess like no that's not necessarily how it

would work in the in the real world there's not being confident is totally sexy and giving great head super super sexy but ultimately it's more sexy to get good head and if it even if that requires like asking and talking about it and you're just like cutting corners to get to like what he because although everyone's different like everybody likes something everybody and every girl likes something different and all that stuff so ultimately like like the same the same blow job you give on one guy isn't going to be like the greatest like the first blow job you give to the guy even if you're great which I've self-identified as I'm great um I know I mean there's no shame in that every time I talk with this Leo's like can you please stop like

i hate this image all of my guy friends like you need to fucking not um but like the same like i don't know like i it's you don't give the same head to the same guys because everyone's different in that it's like the same like every dick's different every dick is different and every time you have sex with somebody it's different and because it's not even necessarily like you might be the same person but you enjoy different things with different people and so i think um yeah i think you just like there you can be sexy about it and talk to me about it you don't have to feel insecure and weird and also any i mean as long as there's not teeth like any head is better than no head like he's it's a learning curve that he's going to be more than happy yeah to to um to

really do there's something like i i definitely went from being a girl who's like very insecure about doing that and like feeling really self-conscious and now i'm like party trick like i own this like you get to that point in a relationship or when you're like dating someone new or whatever and i'm that's what i've got on lock like i'm not great doing like a lot of other stuff like meeting your friends super socially awkward but i can give a great blow job i know my strength and but i wasn't like that on your resume strong job strong job which is funny i also have tmj which i'm like i've overcome a lot of obstacles this is my oscar acceptance yeah i yeah i wouldn't worry i wouldn't worry you'll get good do we have one more is that it

oh my god one more okay i just started listening to your show and my name's i just turned 18 and i had a question about you know fat vaginas i know that sounds weird but like i've been told i have a pretty fat vagina and it's i'm really self-conscious about it like i don't know it's weird um i don't know just can you help me out with what to think what's a fat vagina and also who fucking told you you had a fat vagina wait fat or ph which which kind um vaginas look different and she probably just has puffier right i was gonna say there's yeah there's like a there's such a thing as a puffy vagina yeah but like who gives a shit it's a functioning vagina yeah like you're gonna push a child out

of there eventually if you choose to yeah like it's not yeah pushing for landing yeah yeah also the idea that like who said that to you because let's should we talk about dick size right i was gonna say have you seen some tiny fucking penises i have like there's nothing like there's like also just there's no reason for okay the thing is um just like there's different dick sizes and preference a lot of men have different preferences and vaginas yeah you will be somebody's dream vagina you on but seriously though there's everybody has a different thing that they're into and just because that one guy is also like i i'm i'm also floor i'm like very curious who said this because if there is you're naked and you're like

getting some the last thing you're going to worry about is like some someone's do you do you what i mean like like you're if you're already at that point it's like we talk about like when people are like insecure or whatever and you're like oh i'm insecure about like my boobs or blah blah whatever i'm like when like push comes to shove and like your top is off they're still tits yeah like nobody's gonna walk away from that situation because like ultimately like it's not i don't know it's not it's not a factor that affects anything and also it's an opinion it's not necessarily a like a fact at all and that also just sounds like if it's a guy who told you that sounds like a guy who is has probably a very small penis and is very insecure and probably has

never seen a vagina aside from porn and like yeah there's a lot of fat vaginas in porn is there i don't know what if i'm what's gonna google a fat vagina should i yeah you should but also who said like fucking cares one of my boobs is like significantly i was gonna say bigger than the other but one's just like smaller it's just that's and it's just annoying that he even would even say something like that yeah that's just what's there to gain from that situation other than to like make you feel insecure about something that you should not i want to know more information like what happened like did did was there like he must have felt uncomfortable about something to even comment something like that like he was either really insecure about his

junk and size or it was like a diss because you you know didn't do something right yeah so there's this article that i'm pulled up right now that's about what guys think of eight different vaginas the top eight vaginas which i didn't even know there were eight there's a bony vagina no cushion is that me oh that sounds it's like a narrow oh it's narrow and bony which also is saying like snug fit snug fit great for sex but also like it's bony like it's not like there's not like some cushion and then there's a full lipped vagina and um oh my god look at this they're just so darn kissable that's one of the quotes from here and then this one says shaved there's an expert vagina and it's like a wider large vagina and uh oh my god and look this guys guys like to

pretend that it's an easy entry but in reality they're worried their equipment isn't big enough to please you look at that look at that and then there's that's a vagina with a lot of hair the vertical vagina no virginal i was gonna say vertical like that sounds like a niche thing the peekaboo vagina that's oh that's very oh let's you've got a little clit that is out just to give a little tease look at that oh and it says girls like that get bigger orgasms and there's no such thing as a perfect vagina send me that article and we'll put it in the show yeah okay guys because that's like that i mean there's yeah even me as a girl right now was like i'm i'm ignorant to the fact that like i only intimately oh i just for a second i have so many fucking mails in my phone

and i just went oh god who did i send that to it's you okay um uh i'm i can you imagine i would so do that it's so funny like i only intimately know my own vagina but that doesn't make it better than anybody else better or worse than anybody else's um and yeah yeah like they're i wouldn't worry about it honestly in consensus to that like it's not a deal breaker it's not and there's going to be someone like that list who's going to enjoy that everything every every vagina has offers something that the other doesn't there's like different pros for all of them and like sure we can all find pros and cons of our own body and things that we wish we had but like there's always going to be a trade-off like you don't like this part of you but this part of you

means that this great thing happens and if you want this other thing there's other pitfalls that come with that right so ultimately i wouldn't worry about it and also i don't know any embrace embrace your puffy vagina embrace your fucking puffy vagina like yeah like i don't know what mine categorizes dude me neither now like i'm wondering everybody like get a mirror get a mirror look it up but margaret cho has a song called fat vagina oh and it is in celebration of people with fat vagina so listen to that yeah i might even have a fat vagina and i didn't know ultimately the only reason why you're calling in about this is because someone said it it's not like an insecurity that you had before and ultimately like i think it's a little shit yeah like

insecurities that are brought on by comments of other people those just need to be irrelevant because we already have enough like negative thoughts of ourselves that we're that we have like on our own time anything else that anyone wants to throw onto that like it's just fucking irrelevant like if you didn't think about this before it has to be i don't i don't know a guy that would do that unless they were super insecure about something else or like they yeah it's just there's no there's no reason for that they should be happy to see a vagina no matter what yeah it's like a guy if you're not into hooking up with him and then goes around and i've had like i didn't hook up with this one guy and he like went around and told everyone that

he's like oh yeah like she wanted to hook up with me and like i turned her down like she's such a sloppy girl and i was like but that that's we we didn't hook up and i wasn't into you but your ego gets so bruised that people turn around and say things just like hurt other people and it just sounds like a fucking teenage boy it really unless you're saying it as a compliment right it's like damn girl you got fat vagina i want to fuck that fat vagina yeah so maybe you yeah maybe you misheard it maybe maybe it was a phat is that still a thing when you say fat okay guys do we have a producer's corner oh my god we have a producer's corner um producer's corner is where mel picks a either a callback question um like somebody who has some feedback

and color update or maybe just a memorable question from um from the voicemail that we listen to yeah so this one is a callback um so this is from um episode six okay so the original call um is a girl megan sepp we have the same name she made that joke in the call too and she was calling because her boyfriend was going away to the marine corps and she was not only very sad about it she just had like a very bad feeling about him going um and feeling like something like bad was going to happen to him or something was going to go um let's go wrong and all of that stuff and she was feeling like very lonely and super upset about it and the advice that we gave in the podcast was um first i said to get a puppy which i think i say all the time to people yeah

she she actually had one in whole so she was getting oh she was getting a puppy yeah oh my god oh my god i hope in the college she says she got a puppy um maybe she named it megan we can and i said that i agreed that that was a good idea um and we like talked about like hobbies and stuff and then about how um having a bad feeling about it or having a feeling that something was going to go wrong was probably just her sadness manifesting itself with a purpose because sometimes it's hard to when you feel really sad you kind of feel like you're being a baby and then ultimately you kind of want that you to be sad for a reason it's not just like i'm gonna miss you it's like oh i'm i'm making this like i'm worried something bad might happen and

all that stuff and so we told her to like find some hobbies and spend time with friends and really pursue having a very active life so she's not just sitting at home and being upset because that's i mean definitely what would happen and so she's gonna call back cool and i already asked mel don't worry he didn't die yep so there's the update that was me fucked up i mean i was like oh my god it'd be so sad i hope there's a puppy hi megan this is um a callback you had given me advice um several months ago I'd say it was like the beginning of your podcast first opening I'm the one that had the boyfriend that enlisted in the Marine Corps and had the puppy on the way and having Siberian Husky has really kept me distracted your advice really helped to kind of just reach

out to my friends more and everything and he'll be home soon in July for um a little while you It's coming to an end, and we've actually come out on the other end of this a lot stronger, much more serious than we had expected. And he is planning on redoing his contract to go active. And my only roadblock with that is he wants me to come with him. I have my own life here. I have a job. I'm a vet tech assistant, and I have the dog to think about now, too.

and in order for me to go along with him I would have to marry him now that you know his contract wouldn't be up for re-planning or whatever it's called I'm not 100% sure but that wouldn't happen until December of this like this past this up this year and um you know we wouldn't hear about what's going to happen there and you know I don't want to end up going on base with him if he's going end up being deployed and then i'm kind of just stranded with like you know nothing and no friends you know anything i just i don't know what to do i don't know what to think i know it's a long way out of the way if i could just take things as they come and think about it later or if it's you know something that's kind of stressing me out now what i should do about it but thank you for all your

advice from before and thank you for the advice you're about to give me thank you bye well he's not dead so that's really good yeah that's um a win the i have a lot of friends who have had good and bad scenarios with this kind of a thing um i think something to sorry i didn't even give you a chance no i have no friends who've been through this so take it away something to consider is like what seems like you're already aware of is um isolation basically um it comes down to your relationship it seems like you're a little hesitant about getting married and i'm not sure if it's just because you're not sure if you're ready for marriage or you're not sure if he's the right person or if it really is just the isolation. I've had some really good friends who have done

that, who have married, um, Marine and moved. And sometimes it's amazing. And sometimes it's really hard. There are definitely hard moments in between. I have a lot of friends who have gotten married and have then since then their spouse has finished and everything's amazing. And it was a kind of a hard time in the beginning. And then when they're done, you know, you start this beautiful life together. But that I think is what makes it really hard is you don't always have that connection with the person. So you've survived this year and you've said you've, you know, become stronger. It's just a it's a big life decision. And I think you need to think about whether or not if he was here if you would want to get married to him i think that's where the

first question is is if this wasn't the only reason you were getting married would this be the person for you um and if so then you know if you're thinking about a life together it it would be worth it if you think he's the one that you're meant to be with forever um then it is worth worth working on and worth moving for and worth uh making that transition for but if not then it then it's something that maybe you should hold off on or three years is a really long time, but people change. So it really comes down to the relationship that you've built together and whether you think that you – whether you have the –

you can picture yourself with him, you know, 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years down the line because at that point it is worth it. But can you like – like I get that he's saying that he wants you to go with him and you've already spent this much amount of time apart but like can you try spending another year doing what you did and then just because i i mean my thing is like you went into this and you're like we came out stronger than before and more serious and that surprised me it's just like it's a lot immediately to go from like wow we survived this one thing and we got through all of this and we became stronger and like we're way closer and way more serious but that doesn't

necessarily equate to marriage right and so i think i think exactly you're saying like if he was here would you marry him right now and also you can i mean i can't i i i honestly don't know what i would do if i was in the situation like if moths had to like go away somewhere and the only way we could be like the only like it would we would have to either be apart for three years or we'd have to get married i would still have to think about it because like ultimately like i see him that like that's what we want that's like who i want that's like who i know i'm going to end up with and all that stuff but ultimately like it's not necessarily so much about the relationship with him it's more about kind of me where i'm like i don't i'm not it's like you're

the person i want to do that with but like i don't want to do that yet like i'm not there yet and so ultimately like i think um really figure that out if that's something that you want for you right now even if he's like that dream guy and as much and as difficult as this like year was and all that stuff like maybe i don't know it's just like it seems like it's difficult and that like the relocating thing is scary regardless of regardless of whether you had to be married or not but um she said she was a veterinarian i think right that's what she was saying she's a vet tech the good thing about that is that you you will immediately find other people to connect with there um you're you're being taken away from everything that you know but if that is the

decision that you you do make you it's not like you're going to be sitting there doing nothing and and you have no outlet um you know you can still operate and have a normal life um on base there's a lot of support for people like that there's a lot of support like a lot of other like wives and girlfriends and a lot of them are young too yeah who haven't gone through that there's a youtuber i watched i'm pretty sure i recommended to you in the first called casey holmes um and she just moved with where her boyfriend got stationed or her husband now where he got stationed and um yeah there's like just like there's a lot of support groups um for women who are in a very similar situation but i also understand like for me that yes that is a total

comforting thought but it's it's not like yeah you're giving up something like you're giving up the things that you don't necessarily other relationships people don't have to give up and i think that's kind of where it becomes difficult like there is more being asked of you in this relationship both of you there's more being asked of both of you in this relationship than any in a relationship that didn't without these jobs like it's a factor that really affects your personal relationship that's a business or a job thing emotionally now you know he's obviously got a really tough job to do but um speaking of emotions um for the most part he almost has it easier because he he's going away to you know to do this very intense thing whereas you're

it's always harder to be the one that's not doing as much or the one that's behind the one the one that's waiting that's it's much more of a difficult task than to be the one that's going somewhere and knows that someone's waiting for them um because for him it's a comforting thought to know that he has you and that you're going to be there and that you guys are solid but um for you it's it's definitely more challenging um so it really is it comes down to your relationship and kind of what what your fears are kind of from the original call you were talking about um if your fears were irrational if they were rational and i think you kind of have to apply the same thing because basically break down like pros and cons and

what are you afraid of and is it is it real and then also is is he the really the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with because going into it these first couple years are going to be really difficult it's figuring out what you can live with too like can you live can you live through these three years of being miserable if that means that you guys can come out on top and are you willing to give that a chance or um could you not survive those three years and like yeah and you might be super super happy there are you know a lot of times you do like you said there's support groups and you really do connect with a lot of people going in this do the same thing um and you'll have your dog and you get major discounts when you have

your military what's true uh that just definitely doesn't please do not make that your reason for getting married uh but there are there are you say costco yeah you get a good discount costco yeah practically there's a lot of good things to come with it but yeah i mean it is it's just going to be i think your your biggest decision should come down to you and him and whether that relationship is solid enough regardless of if this was a a component and then work from there yeah they've also haven't had that much time together physically together right because they were only getting for a year before that that makes it really tough and that the great point i was thinking about that too because that means that when you guys do spend time together

and then afterwards you are going to go through a lot of growing pains because you you may think that you know each other really well and i feel like it's like the bachelor yeah distance really um i think almost makes people feel closer because it's intense and you don't want to fight when you have only a small amount of time together you want to cherish that but when they do get home or when you you do reunite um they're just everyday things living habits like you don't shut the cabinets when you do like like things that you don't have to worry about changing the toilet paper which direction the toilet paper goes it is it is a talking point like it's yeah there's those things that you know um you don't really really know how someone operates or things

that you they're so little when you have such they really don't affect you when you have such little time with somebody and then when you have like a boundless endless amount of time with not obviously because like no one has that but when when there isn't that pressure yeah like you those things that you didn't mind you might start to mind and that's also really natural and really normal but then when you're put in a high stress situation like that can get that might get like really get to you and be frustrating i would also say my last piece of advice um if you don't know any people who've been through this situation specifically if there's any women you can talk to if you know them totally but also megan has gotten very into reddit i mean me megan oh your

name's megan too um i've gotten very into like reddit and subreddit recently of like things like like like if you don't know anybody who's been through this exact thing like yeah there's don't yeah find like chat rooms and find like read things about all of that stuff because it's it's yeah it's very hard to make a decision um and you're definitely not alone in this no not at all i'm sure i mean when tons and tons of people have gone through all of this and they've definitely i'm sure would be like happy to share uh their stories so you know what you're getting into because i think that would be the biggest fear for me is it's committing to something i like to be mentally prepared for everything and this is something that's kind of like you have

to commit to something without really knowing uh what the whole situation is going to be like once you're there and then how it's going to be the whole time that you're there yeah i would just yeah talk to some people i'd say you call in you talk to us i'm like talk to other people it's my advice sorry people are more qualified and also call back and update because i do want to know i don't know and send pictures of your dog tweet pictures of your dog i want to see i want a dog okay well that's it for this episode yeah can i make a note um guys when you guys call and you have callbacks please can you state what episode that

the call was in because we're getting very deep and it was a little hard to find yeah episode 6 Sasha recognized it before I did I was like I don't know what this one's from her name is Megan just like me well thank you so much Sasha for being on this I'm so happy and you guys can follow Sasha on

social what's your social media handles Sasha Sasha Peters 27 on Instagram yes it's 27 and then sasha with an extra a petersen on twitter because somebody took my name really i bet they're holding it for a lot of money too i bet they are and i'm not willing to pay no no no fuck that um and if you guys want to check out our movie um you can get it on dvd and it's on digital it's called the honor list and we can put it in the show notes and if you also look on

any social media i'm pimping it out hard because i need a job post all of this um and yeah if you guys like this uh if you like the podcast i mean yes welcome back to season two make sure to leave us a review in the apple podcast app and then if you have calls for the next couple episodes or you know this whole season we're starting fresh we're starting new you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 go me and international callers again meganpodcasts at gmail.com send a audio message um and and yeah we would we would really very much love to hear from you cool oh guys yeah and we're back weekly did we tell them that no oh my god plot twist surprise this is now a weekly podcast so for all of you who have been asking for it which i'm not just

saying that people have actually asked we are now weekly um so that means there's more people more guests more questions more opportunities for you guys to uh get your questions answered um so yeah i will i will i will be in your ears or in your car that sounds creepy uh next week and uh you know he'll be in my car i'll be in your car okay guys we'll see you next week bye bye don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa demont's camera operator shereen yunes post-production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me If your life, you know, completely fucks up before then.