Don't Blame Me! - S2E14: Guest: Alexis G. Zall - Should I Sleep With My Gay BFF?!

Episode Date: August 10, 2018

The lovely Alexis G. Zall is here this week! We’re sharing our advice on what to do if you haven’t orgasmed (EVER), handling being in love with you gay best friend and he wants to have sex for funsies, and coping with a friend that’s depressed. We also have a follow up to the caller that had to deal with her friend having sex for rent.-Follow Us On Twitter:@meghanrienks@alexisgzall@sheisnotmelissaNeed Advice?www.dontblameme.showDomestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrienksSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Don't Blame Me. Today, we have Alexis Gisal on, and we discuss a girl who's been in love with her best gay friend forever, and he's now decided that he thinks it'd be fun for them to have sex. Should they do it? Should they not? And we also talk about a potential 15-year-old who might be pregnant and just hasn't checked for the last three months, who's also dating a stupid douche. So keep listening.

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today's wonderful exciting guest is someone whose podcast i was just on oh it was fun alexis giselle hello hi um thank you so much for being here oh thanks for having me classic exchange at the top of a podcast always you gotta thank them otherwise it's like fuck you why did i fucking come all the way to santa monica because it is fucking far it is a bit far it is a bit far granted your podcast is a bit far too yeah I know I feel like podcast location studios are just a bit far they are a bit far I used to be at my house which was quite close but then I had to clean like new people coming over for a party clean every time and I was like I fucking hate this also I love

that we just have an understanding of like what close and far is without really discussing like where we live but it just makes sense like yes also everything is far in LA if I can't get there if I can't like be like oh I'm gonna be late and then I'm not on if I'm not late you know what I mean like if i need to leave later than i think i'm going to leave and then i'm like oh it's close but if i allot 20 minutes to leave and it takes me 20 minutes to get there i'm like too far i want to get there either early or i want to leave like 15 minutes i'm gonna go ahead and be honest and say didn't follow that do you not know what you just said my adderall has not so we'll get halfway through the podcast and i'm like oh megan's making sense oh yes i'm following

now now you get me all right uh okay guys so we're actually recording this for youtube too so if you haven't uh watched it on youtube yet i mean it'd be weird because you're listening to the audio version and this yeah the audio version will come out before youtube but watch it on youtube because alexis has a wonderfully nice tan oh thank you very nice i'm quite envious of it and you're like you're so hairless they that is crazy because i have not shaved them in months you're fucking kidding can i touch it i don't shave them they're not hairless if you like look at it you have no hair follicles though hair follicles like what is that little dots maybe because i don't shave it yeah there is hair where the follicles would be oh wow i want to do

that yeah i hate shaving my legs granted i don't do it often i feel like such a womanly woman oh yeah like when you let your armpit hair grow out too i'm like yes usually in the winter when i just wear long sleeve shirts and like forget and then one day i'll like look down or like i'm doing something in a workout class and i'm like okay that's here this is part a little something different yeah feeling very middle school um so yeah this is an advice podcast if you guys haven't tuned in before um and uh we also have our fantastic we're your producer director superwoman superhero all of it what other titles do you want editor too editor yeah but like what other like like what um think of like a badass yeah exactly that's the kind of what i'm looking for badass

yeah we'll just stick with that one for today okay uh it's melissa hello hi um we took a boxing class this weekend it was oh yeah fucking great i love boxing it's so fun i want to like where okay i guess we'll talk about this in our own time but i really want to where do you go so um i when i go to new york i go to rumble and i've been like obsessed with it and i go quite often and then uh they just opened one last week in la and so we went for like one it's like opening week and we went i really want to go you ever want to go i'm super into it okay let's do it let's be i'm like a fun workout buddy too right like i don't like try and be like in class being like hey how you doing like i'm not like waving trying to talk at all but like it's like we like make eye contact

like i'll smile yeah i feel like it's like the right kind of yeah we were all we had a good time zone yeah you guys were both focused on you but also if you if you cast a glance you weren't looking away exactly like when drake comes on and like i can do my lame like kiki do you love me like yeah i'm fucking dancing yeah so it was great and i brought two of my friends who do not like working out with me and they actually enjoyed it yeah the last time i took them to soul cycle um the instructors were like how'd you did you have fun will you come back and they both were like no i didn't i'm not coming i am also kind of similar i did soul cycle once because you have you have to you have to you have to it's a part of initiation when you move to it really is and i don't think

it's for me it's just like a lot it's just like a lot of um the like soul you know you're saying you're soulless dude yeah i am soulless you have to find the right instructor okay so i recently i had like my favorite instructor ever and then um when i told melissa like i like came into like i forget what we were doing and i was like i have some really bad news and i was like so my soul cycle instructor just like died i'm like no he's quitting yeah i was like she was mourning i was so fucking sad he literally had to tell me like separately like he like messaged me on instagram was like hey i gotta gotta tell you something so i have been like very anti it for a long time because I'm not into like don't tell me to like run through my day because that makes no sense

I'm on a stationary bike at 8 a.m like that's not why I'm here like I don't need any sort of like now think about something I'm like I just want to think about not dying and then just finish the workout and then I just found a new soul cycle instructor who I'm obsessed with half the reason why I'm obsessed with her is because right after class she was like you're an incredibly strong writer and I was like oh my god thank you I thought you said writer and I was like she just sensed it she she just like throughout the whole class she was just like i'm getting a vibe academia yeah that's what soul cycle is about it is identifying the souls oh fucking shit i yeah i don't like the soul part either because i don't have one um but yeah we can stop talking about

exercise now guys and uh get into the podcast so basically what's going to happen is people call and they leave voicemails and then we give them advice on the things that they are struggling with and if you guys want to call into the podcast i've already touched it I, like, can't get through an episode without, like, mouth-raping or licking. Just, like, giving it a little kiss. Not mouth-raping. There's just, like, a lot of sexual tension between you and the mic, and you just make a move.

I do. I just, like, I should have asked first. I'm so sorry. The number is 310-694-0976. Again, 310-694-0976. That's it. It is. And if you are an international caller, you can email us an audio file at meganpodcast

at gmail.com, and we can play that with your sexy, sexy accents. Okay, yeah. Shall we hop into the podcast? Let's do it. I have, like, a booger that every time I breathe is, like, kind of, like, flying. You know what I mean? Just get it out and I'll close my eyes. I did it.

It's okay. It's on video. Well, I'll cut it. You don't have to cut it. It's okay. No, leave it in. I'm a 19-year-old that lives in Kentucky, and I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and I've never orgasmed during our sex.

we have honestly been having sex since we started dating so a year and a half of sex and i've never orgasmed and i don't know if it's me if i can't orgasm and i think our sex is really good but i just feel like sometimes he doesn't last long enough or i don't know like maybe i'm not into it enough but i just don't know what to do and I don't want to bring it up to him and make him feel bad sometimes he even makes like little jokes about it like I don't even know how to explain them but he'll just make a little joke like about the fact that I have an orgasm and I don't think he finds it funny I think he feels really bad about it and I don't really know what to do because obviously I want to and I'm also

super scared to use sex toys because I'm not very confident in myself okay well I'm trying to think when i had my first orgasm i i feel like it was definitely not with a guy like it was definitely like with myself oh yeah yeah um i'm trying okay so here's what i think that she should do yeah i think that she you should i talk to her address her directly all right you should masturbate a lot a lot and figure out what makes you orgasm like on your own and then i think you can figure out how to incorporate that and you've been dating a year and a half like i would expect you guys aren't like shy around each other you know but they're still 19 you know what I mean like that's like I think of like even like sexually especially like I genuinely so like I lost my virginity when

I was like 16 something like that no but I don't think I was like I think when you I don't know I find that because I associated my like sexual experiences with another person like I didn't I had sex before I ever masturbated and like it wasn't until I got older and like I was like enjoying sex but like definitely wasn't finishing from sex I probably also yeah like had my first orgasm at like 1920 but I'd been having sex for years with different people but like I associated sex with and like getting off with a partner so I definitely relate to the whole thing of feeling like oh my god there's something wrong with me but it has it has every if there's nothing wrong with you it's just the fact that a if you're my friend literally can't even orgasm if her room is

messy like if she's thinking about anything like you can't like you have to have like first of all clear mind it like actually takes focus for girls it's not just like a thing that automatically happens but also i don't find it i didn't i never like orgasmed with a guy until i was able to do it to myself first yeah i don't think you like let your body get there because like you'll like to get like super graphic or whatever like you you don't know what that sensation is so you resist it and you can fight against it and you can mentally block an orgasm from happening a hundred percent yeah i know i'm like sleeping with someone for the first time or sleeping with someone i'm like not comfortable with emotionally i won't come like a hundred percent so i think for me

it's it was figuring out like wow masturbating like okay if i do this to me then that will make me come and then being with a partner that i was like comfortable enough to say okay do this yeah and that like that will lead to good so I think figuring out what turns you on and like what gets you there on your own time yeah and then being able to communicate that to like the person that you're seeing or your boyfriend well because otherwise you're you're them being like well how can I do this and you're like I don't know like I don't know how to get there either so it's kind of like you're both trying to figure it out and like vaginas are super confusing so I would like do some research on your own time and then educate him because if you're both trying to figure out

vagina like the whole thing that's just like a lot of trying to figure it out yeah i think even like yeah do a google like learn what is happening down there because maybe and i'm sure if you go to him and you say okay i would like you to touch me like this or i'd like you to like i'd want to be on top right whatever xyz he's gonna eat me the fuck out yeah that's i mean you're not gonna come from i mean you might come from sex like you might be a unicorn who like can just come from penetration i mean that's not not sex that's just penetration but i just mean like you have like it needs to be as much of a priority for um as much as it's about like he's feeling insecure that he hasn't done that like you need to also take some responsibility for your own enjoyment with sex

because he knows how to work his penis like he doesn't every vagina is different like he does even if you guys have had slept with other people having sex with other people or like yeah it's so it's super different yeah and everybody likes totally different things like we might have all the same parts but like what gets other people off is like very different like i don't even love when people go down on me shut up i know everybody freaks out it's not my favorite thing and it's not what's gonna make me orgasm the room silent wow that's fascinating that is really fascinating have you like i hate when people like make these comments like this but like have you like do you feel like have there been times where you've like very much enjoyed it

that it's like or do you feel like there's been because i okay i'm gonna say the thing that i hate when people say it okay say because i don't know how else to say it okay like do you feel like i mean like i fucking hate if a guy goes down on me who's bad at it but if you're great at it i like it like do you have you been able to like discern the difference between the different people going down on you and you don't like i would say yes i like like looking at it i love watching that happen i think that's hot yeah super hot and so for like a few minutes like a little bit. Love it. That's fun. But it's definitely not going to make me orgasm. Wow. That's so fascinating. Yeah. That's so great. It's like too much. It's like too sensitive. No, I get that.

I know. Okay. That makes, okay. No, I completely understand. That makes total sense. I have a friend who's like that. Yeah. It's just like too much. Yeah. It's like very much like, I just know, like, it's just like overwhelming. Like you get close and then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. After like a few minutes, it's just like, okay, that's good. We're done on that. That makes sense. Yeah. So even this like i think is a good example for you listening how like everybody's bodies are so different there's definitely nothing wrong with your body and i know for me like i had to figure out what made me orgasm on my own time yeah and then bring that to the table with someone i felt comfortable with same and i also think that you're so fucking far ahead than anybody else like i the

first boyfriend i've ever been with that like made me orgasm is my current boyfriend and i am turning 25 in less than a month so like that we started dating when I was 22 so I had only ever gotten myself off probably like from the age of like 19 honestly probably like 20 was like the first time that I ever did that myself and then it wasn't until like being with my current boyfriend that that was the partner who did it so I think the fact that like you're comfortable talking about it like on a podcast and like you're talking about with your boyfriend even though he's kind of he's coming about it in like a joking sort of manner like you're obviously both thinking about it and i would say to like touch on the sex toy thing like i don't think

google different ways to like masturbate at home that don't involve you having to like buy a vibrator on amazon it's like that's something you're nervous about like that's not you don't need it's not necessary it's super not necessary having your first orgasm with the vibrator will give you unrealistic expectations yeah very quick yeah so i would say yeah just like do a lot of research and think about it that way and then i mean i mean one of my favorite books is called about to say that big fan it's called she comes first it's great um this book has made this book first of all is probably so dirty and disgusting like my physical copy is probably so dirty and disgusting because it has made the fucking rounds amongst my friends like

literally guys and girls alike of being like um and i've even like talked to like some of my girlfriends like my friends girlfriends were like hey can um you leave that book around next time like my boyfriend's over and like all of that stuff arden rose recommends it to everyone arden and i literally have had like hour-long conversations about it how like even you two if you like order it read it it's got a papaya on the cover and i mean like i get it it's yeah and so i remember the first time one of the i had had the book but one of the first times that um i had like really like read it read it and not just kind of like read it when i was in relationship not just like read it when I was like single and being like huh I'm curious um I like

had read it and then like left it on my nightstand and like the next night I like saw my boyfriend like I like walk into that room he like hides it I'm like okay he's definitely reading it so you can read that to understand your own body a little bit more and that book is written by a man and like his kind of uh talking about how he felt like he was you know coming way too quickly and so he had to learn how to get better at other things and so I think it can be a definitely a combination because I don't think I had sex that lasted more than like 15 minutes at 19 see it's interesting because I am gay so I don't relate to that part oh it's not fucking quick dude but dude I can't even explain to you it's one of those things like I don't even know if I ever lost my virginity

because i was like that was did it happen already like it is it is comical like what they show in comedies is it's just i mean what they show in like dramatic movies and like people lose their virginity it's like 15 minutes like that would never happen it's just it's it's so comical and so funny and it's i genuinely think at least from my perspective like i don't know any of my friends who had like great sex until we got into our 20s because of that fact and because also so much sense and there's so much kind of like at least for me like i didn't understand the difference between like clitoral orgasms and like penetration orgasms and all of that so like for me if i wasn't like coming during sex i was like there's something wrong with me and then it

took me until i was so much older to like understand learning about like women's bodies not just from like movies and men where it's like oh girls like scream orgasm like like railing them from behind and then i was like oh wait wow like this is anatomy like this is like yeah there's actually things that need to be like touched on here and they're like science like moving geometry this is not going to work this way and so i'm like it's just the first like i would say a solid couple i mean also i have a couple friends who are like no the first time i had sex it was like fantastic like i came completely and i'm like i don't believe you what but wow i have been masturbating before then i totally buy that that makes complete sense but like i just don't i don't know i think

there's so much we have so much idea of like at least me personally like coming from my thing like i associated orgasming and sex with like penis penetration and guys and it wasn't until i like let go of that and was like oh no i need to focus on me like i need to masturbate and figure this out on my own and then not only was i in like enjoying sex way more like there was it was finished like I was able to do that it was much more about me and not like something's wrong with me more like girls are very smart people we can really talk ourselves into and out of anything yeah so orgasms are so emotional like you have to you have to be in some ways like comfortable and just and like okay with letting with it like letting like go of control and that's like I'm

like fucking control freak and also like especially like the first time you orgasm like that I don't like you're not like in control of like exactly how your face looks and like if your boobs are at a good angle you know felt that feeling before and you can shut it down like you can stop that from happening and so then you can just get up this like mental sort of roadblock and um it's super normal i think like i mean like you're definitely like ahead of me like you're a year ahead of me i was very much like i'm fine i've totally had orgasms before yeah i think you'll be good should be going to the next call um my name's about to turn 15 july 6th um so i started dating this guy that i met in school in ninth grade and we started dating around february

we started dating in february and hooked up in april after that he thought he'd knock me up and honestly we still know because i haven't got my period and it's still on anyway we broke up in may because he ended up telling his mom because he got worried that he knocked me up and she didn't like that so she forced him to break up with me so we broke up at the end of school which was in may i still haven't told my mom either but um now like i still love him and everything he's in germany all summer and last month i found out that he didn't want to restart and he told me he did and just the other day i found out he's already looking for another girl but anyway i also but there's another problem his uh best friend which is um was also my best friend that like

and his best friend liked me and he was trying to mess up the relationship in the background i mean we've cut him out of our life but like it's still complicated and everything and so messed up anyway there's one other thing there's other guys that i've met recently he lives in california though and he's 17 but i'm 15 he's about to turn 18 in january like i really like him but i still love the ex oh my god yeah like she literally turned 15 last week holy shit okay okay first of all we need to address the huge thing in the room uh you're potentially like three months pregnant yeah okay take a pregnancy test holy shit um yeah like what also i feel like i know for me when i was 15 my period was not regular oh so totally that's also possible but

i also like wasn't boning no yeah wasn't wasn't fuck um okay that's something that you need to like figure out a stat yes um and also if you're going to have sex you need to be protected especially not only against pregnancy but against like stds and stis um and okay so pregnancy thing aside unpacking the thing with him and his mom and breaking up unless his mother is a fucking devil there is no way in hell her son was like hey i think i got this girl pregnant and she goes you know you gotta do you gotta break them that's just not what happened no that's not what happened that's not what happened this to me sounds like somebody like i used to do this when i was younger where if i like didn't want to go do something i would

like i don't know like make like my dad be like i beg dad someone invited me to go do this and i really don't want to do this will you say that i can't do this i'm like sure whatever or i would just make up like oh i can't do this my dad said my dad said no even though my dad like is at work like does not care like has not seen me so i think i mean if he's already trying to like date somebody else and anything like that that's to me just sounds like he used that as an excuse to try and hurt your feelings less um and kind of take the blame off of himself so you wouldn't hate him so then if you potentially did have his baby there would be like less animosity there yeah and i'm i'm pretty sure he didn't tell his mom no there's no he there's no way he did his mom there's no

fucking way he told his mom and also there's freaking out because he's scared to tell his mom completely and that's like i need to run away from this like that to me screams 15 year old boy like 15 year old boy does not scream to me being like i went and then told my mom i thought i got a girl pregnant and also i just i don't mean to shit on you but you gotta be so much more fucking responsible because the idea that this could have happened months ago and that he would have had the chance to tell his mom and you would tell him that you think you're pregnant like if you miss your period and you are having sex you have to take a pregnancy test like it's not a matter of like waiting any sort of period of time aside from the fact like waiting until that you

can do that and as soon as that he as soon as you told him you thought he might be you thought you might be he also as a guy should have been like well you got to take a test but he's 15 so he had no idea yeah but like the fact that this is still like up in the air and i also am curious about her friend their mutual friend who like tried to break them apart because he likes her i don't know where you also heard that either that i don't know it just for me it just sounds like you were with a pretty shitty guy who's trying to like put blame on every other person yeah because he's freaked out that he got you pregnant maybe yeah maybe fuck i hope she's not yeah me too i really hope you gotta take a pregnancy test and also here's a tip this is a really like con not even a

controversial tip you know what this is like very realistic here's what i would do if you get you're very you're very young you're you're a woman who has had sex with a man and you think or you're whoever yeah you had sex you might potentially be pregnant and you have to take a pregnancy test you're young you're in high school it's like so clear i'm saying this from personal experience yeah you're younger in high school and you don't go to some place go to like a fucking grocery store um take a pregnancy test like go to a drug store or go to like a grocery store where they sell pregnancy tests that is not the one that you regularly go to one that is far as fuck away from you if as far as possible that you can like afford to take yourself to with a friend and take

it there in that sketchy bathroom because you do not want to a run into people like i'm talking like anxiety wise don't want to really want to run into people and also you can let that live and die there so like i can drive by this one molly stones in marin county i remember taking a pregnancy test not bad when i was 16 so i would i i would just don't stress anyone or yourself out too like this is a lot of anxiety to feel that i think even he was your boyfriend at the time so i get saying like shit i think i might be pregnant but you guys gotta like there's a way to fact check it yeah and then the the guy that you might like in california he's gonna be 18 and you're 15 and that's just i i fucking hate when adults i called myself an adult um tell young people that

oh you'll understand this when you're older but there's just such a difference in age there that it becomes um i don't want to be like really like dark with it but an 18 year old guy shouldn't be attracted to a 15 14 year old girl that's just it's gross it's predatory it is it's very predatory and you're attracted to the idea of either you're physically attracted and like you can look much older than you are you're either and maybe maybe you really do look young and then you're then you're dating a guy who's physically attracted to like someone who has like a very younger body type which really should not be sexualized or he's attracted to the kind of power and control that comes over somebody who's that much younger than him once you get to be old like in your like my

boyfriend's four years older than me that's fine now like you're both adults we're both adults we're both consenting adults like we're i'm 24 he's 28 like this makes we're at similar points in our lives but if we were younger like we would have never dated when i was 14 and he was 18 first of all he was super fucking cool and like played the cross and i had like transition lenses but that aside like if that's he would have been lusting after like women not girls a child exactly yeah and so that's just not like it is a sketchy thing when like why i think it's then asking the question of like why does he want to be with me yes exactly exactly and like you can be a really great and awesome and really really cool person but you shouldn't be a sexual object

to him with that age gap like it's just those are such pivotal ages too that i mean i i just i find it i just find it like sketchy and predatory like you're saying also with him being in california i then wonder did you guys meet online like what's yeah how did they meet so especially if it's like something where you're meeting online like no you don't know he's probably not even 18 i was gonna is he actually because he's saying he's 17 now is he actually 17 he's probably 47 yeah oh gosh yeah and also i feel like you have a lot going on right now i can just focus on that yeah focus on school take a pregnancy test take a pregnancy test and then like take a deep breath yeah and maybe don't worry about that right now take some uh maybe take some time to like be single for a

and figure out what you are looking for and have fun with your friends like i hate the idea of saying like oh there's so much more time to date and all that stuff but i so badly wish that some i like someone had like knocked some sense into me when i was younger and i would have spent so much less time obsessing over like relationships and boys that i really didn't care about and then by the time i got to my senior year of high school i was like fuck i wish i spent like more time just hanging out with my friends doing stupid shit instead of stressing about like oh my god just someone's still gonna like message me back on aim because like i think all of that stuff can be fun and i think especially at a young age relationships and dating should really just

be fun and add something to your life and if they're causing you this much stress i just don't think it's worth it okay please take a pregnancy test please please please and use condoms and go on birth control and all of those things that's the next call fuck i'm stressed for also this like in like a weeks ago do you think she's just pregnant i don't know she's i mean there's a plan i googled there's a planned parenthood that's close to you so go i'm in the clutch hi megan i need your help with this situation that i'm in my older sister has a boyfriend and they've been together for the past six years and this boyfriend has a younger brother who is my age i think and i used to like him but i thought it was strange because our siblings were dating

and anyways now he has a girlfriend for the past three years and they have a really crappy relationship um for example she tells him it's okay for him to be with other girls and do certain things but not others anyways we were drunk at this party a few months ago and we've been together and we did more than she quote-unquote allows and the day after he said that he doesn't recall anything from that night and I wasn't sure if it was the truth or he was just trying to avoid what happened but I tried to ignore it and then at our prom I was a little bit tipsy and I felt guilty so I tried to talk to him and he told me that if we didn't sleep together he doesn't want to know because it will just ruin

the relationship he has with this girl that he that he loves so I talked to her and maybe I shouldn't have but I did and I told her what happened and she said that she's not she's not mad she's just hurt and that she won't tell him about it but a few days later she told me that she did and now he knows what happened and that I told her and I feel really weird about it and I don't know what to do how to act around them they used to be my friends and and I still have to see him at family stuff and I don't I don't know what to do so please help me um first of all he you okay no matter i feel like you can be super super drunk whatever if you like he wouldn't have gotten a boner if he was drunk enough to have literally no memory of what time i've never i've

like literally not remember what happened is when i got roofied in college like i have been very drunk in my life like i have been i blacked out more times than i had not like but even at blacking out like you have you know if you hooked up with someone you wake up in the morning and you're like wearing jeans but no underwear and you were underwear that night and you're like definitely did something and then you'll come you'll see their face in the hallway and be like you'll get at a minimum like you'll get flashes like you wouldn't you would remember like kissing them you would remember like touching them in some way you might not remember every single like detail that you said but you're like he remembers that he like he definitely remembers had to get hard

yeah exactly and if he was drunk enough to have literally no memory of anything there his dick was not his dick would not be hard and then you definitely would not have had sex yeah exactly or like whatever you guys were up to yeah um so he remembers and he's pretending that he doesn't is what i can say he remembers something he definitely and he's like no i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't um and also i feel like her telling the girlfriend was not bad oh really yeah why do you think that's bad I just think it's not um I just don't know I struggle with like the whole because like I want to know everything like my boyfriend fucking does something like I want to know but at the same time there's it's I don't know it's

the motive that comes from it okay so like when you have feelings for a guy and you hook up with him and you don't get the response that you want and he says he's not going to tell his girlfriend you shouldn't go tell his girlfriend because your motive in there is the fact that you like this guy yeah she's being vengeful yeah and i mean you're queen petty queen fucking petty like the pettiest bitch that ever was me so i like completely understand that rationale and that's so something that i uh would probably like consider doing if i was ever in that situation but i know that that comes i don't know like as i get older i realize that that kind of thing there's just there's so much gray area when it comes to being like um i don't know like being like a support like being

a girl's girl and being a supportive girl and being able to do that but then also know when you that can be masked as like female hating in the sense of i'm doing this because i want you guys i hope you guys break up which i'm not saying that that is your like i don't know like your clear motive there but I think it's just I don't know it's like it's always so confusing because it's not it's it's not really it's just not your place in the relationship because like it's the relationship between them and especially because they have an agreement there it's even if they didn't have an agreement there it's just I don't know you always get like I've had friends who've had like girls come out of the woodwork and tell them like oh I fucked your

boyfriend when he was dating you and stuff and the automatic which I wish it wasn't true but the automatic thing that my you don't believe that girl because that girl is has had feelings for your boyfriend and then I don't know you're very clouded when you're in a relationship so then to have somebody else come in and tell you something that you're like but you have so much to gain from this being true like I have everything to lose if this is true but you have something to gain so I just find it hard like that and also like not to be a bitch but like if your moral compass was that strong you wouldn't have done it right that's yeah yeah she liked him yeah she hooked up with him then when he didn't he pretended like he didn't remember she was hurt

yeah and told the friend the other friend and when the other friend still didn't care she still hurt and now everything's awkward for her so it's kind of like a shitty situation like you made your bed you kind of have to sleep in it but you have to you you it's gonna be like there's no way that this wasn't going to be awkward and it's like it just happened that it's awkward and you didn't end up with the guy that you're into which sucks because i yeah it definitely sucks to see somebody that you have feelings for who then is clearly has like holding some sort of like flame and candle for you but it's still choosing someone else over you it's not it's a shitty shitty shitty place to be in but ultimately i also don't believe that you should be with somebody who isn't gonna pick

you first that's what i think it like goes back to is yeah i you don't want to be with someone who is like doing this to you and also being like oh we hooked up and i don't remember like that is not a nice thing to say to someone regardless of if he's like in a relationship or whatever being like we hooked up i don't remember whatever is not nice yeah it's clear that that person isn't like those feelings that you have for him he's not at home thinking about you the same way the person that you of your dreams like the person you want to be with is not saying i don't remember hooking up with you no they're saying wow that was sick i loved when we banged back there exactly let's do it again let's hold hands all the time that was the best thing ever um so and i think

also the second like the and it kind of goes back to like what you were saying it's sucks like tell me when you're older you understand like the first second you like are with the person that is and you are their first choice and they are your first choice you'll be like oh yeah why the fuck did I settle for all this stuff before exactly like it will be so crystal clear that you never needed that yeah and it's just it's not it also just I would say the the quicker you can get out of like a habit of doing that the more likely you are to be in relationships in which you are getting picked first but until you can see a seek out a situation and be like this isn't working like i'm clearly you're clearly not it for me i'm clearly not it for you and walk away

this then you'll be able to move on and recognize 100 i'm it for you you're it for me but if you start to like let this be the norm it'll keep happening it'll keep happening and i think also i it almost goes back to like the mental roadblock of orgasming like you on some level like aren't ready or don't want right now someone who's there in the way that a like mutual loving relationship is like on some level you don't want that otherwise you would be seeking that out yeah it's somewhat safer and it's like a way that you can have really safe control over like i don't it's like it's having power and control and not letting yourself like fall for somebody who might not have feelings for you because like you're seeking out somebody and like who you know you

know is with somebody else like it's an obstacle a challenge like they're in a relationship open relationship for three years they obviously there is a lot there they like they love each other and also you can't shit on that relationship by saying that like it's not legitimate because they have open relationships like that's not a it's not your place to judge anybody else's relationship but it's also not your place to judge the legitimacy of the relationship it's not really a hole for you to slide into like an open relationship that's not that's a thing like yeah i've had friends who've been in really successful open relationships and it works for some couples and it doesn't work for others but it's not necessarily a weak point in a relationship

100 and also if this guy obviously he likes having an open relationship and it sounds based on the language that you use you think that is not good you probably aren't compatible there because if you guys were together he'd probably want to go make out or do whatever i'm gonna hook up with my ex because because he would he obviously likes being in an open relationship and it seems like you don't like that so that's a huge thing there that is just incompatible yeah i didn't even think of that so um get your shit together yeah please for the sake of your heart too i think it's it's very easy to glorify a traumatic relationship or to glorify a traumatic longing and a crush and what you will come to realize is that it is not pretty it's a fat waste of time it's a fat

waste of time and it's actually not good it's self-sabotage it is it completely is so i hope you still listen to the podcast after this and you don't hate us too much okay guys we're gonna go on a quick break and then we'll be back that's true this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by me reading reviews of our itunes ads it's okay it's fine make noise in the background look at this a very realistic podcast ad welcome to behind the scenes of the podcast guys uh i just want to give it some love itunes is it is what i'm saying um i've been loving reading your guys's reviews it makes me really happy and it's also a wonderful place for you guys allegedly to kind of roast me and tell me that i am old and

you've been watching me for so long that you're going to reminisce about some of my embarrassing choices in aesthetics so let's start with that one which the um the title of this is teal and brown room days and yes everybody uh my room was teal in uh high school and there was one wall that was brown because yeah an accent wall bobby burke would kill me queer eye um so the review is hello your podcast okay that was really wrong it doesn't say hello like that it says hello with a lot of o's and exclamation points your podcasts are so amazing and you've always felt like an internet big sister to me i remember the dr megan days with your old 3d glasses ha ha those were the days anyways thank you for being so open-minded and always empowering women

first of all thank you second of all kind of fuck you because they weren't 3d glasses i just had like i like had attempted to be hipster glasses but now that you've mentioned it they do kind of they did kind of look like those 3d glasses you get at the movies so you're not wrong court and thank you so much for the review uh and this next one is for perfect for long drives perfect for the long drives i was starting to get tired of skipping through my music while driving and that's obviously not safe lol so glad i found this podcast that keeps me entertained and definitely feel not alone with some of the calls it makes me feel sane ha ha ha well i'm so glad that not only are we making you feel sane we're keeping you safe in your car hands-free listening so you don't have to skip

those songs that keep coming up except not kiki do you love me because i will never skip that song i just keep putting it on so uh thank you so much for the reviews and if you guys would like to leave us a five-star review on itunes apple podcast app it would mean the absolute world to me so when i have bad days i can just read them and feel good and also i do love when you guys let us know what you like about the podcast um and maybe some of your like favorite most memorable calls and uh it it just makes me excited to know that you guys are listening so uh thanks guys and back to the episode okay guys we are back from our break and we're gonna hop into some more calls yay fix your butt my butt is all good how's yours that's pretty good it's a little sore

did a lot of glutes this morning yeah gluteus maximus no one's gonna ask me how's your butt doesn't matter now no how's your butt doesn't matter okay hi megan i've got this friend who lives down the street from me we used to be really close um but we weren't like best friends in the sense of you know like sleeping over at each other's houses and things we were just like kind of best friends in school and only a little bit out of school um recently I've just found out that she's had quite bad depression and she's found it difficult um in the past to deal with it um I thought she could have come to me with something like that but um anyway uh basically I feel like I do a lot for her and I'm available for her all

the time and I'll kind of want to make plans with her and shuffle things around um so I can hang out with her um she doesn't do the same for me and I feel bad for her for going through that depression and having to do that basically alone as I was kind of one of her few friends I still really want to be there for her but if she's not going to put in the effort you know I just and I don't really want to bring it up with her just because of that confrontation and I don't want her to take it personal um but I just kind of wanted to see what your advice would that um being friends with somebody who's like actively in a really bad depression is like being friends with somebody who has cancer like you don't really like not to be an unsympathetic bitch but like I am so your

friend so like hearing someone say that it's like literally my worst fears that like a friend of mind would think those things. And I think that comes from like, not you being a bad person at all, but just ignorance about what it's like. And I'm not saying that that means like you've never been depressed, but like, like we've said with orgasms and vaginas, like everybody's different, like how it manifests itself with different people. It's just, it's so completely, completely different. And so just even if, so let's say that I'm going to come at it from a point that I think like everybody struggles with mental health. So I'm going to pretend or not pretend I'm going to come at it as if you also have a struggle with mental health maybe you haven't i really hope

you haven't that'd be so sick for you um but if when you're depressed you are able to you want to fill your schedule and you want to make plans with people and you're very proactive about it that's awesome that's not how everyone is when they're depressed and how she is acting is not how everyone acts when they're depressed and it's like it's yeah it's like it's like being friends with somebody who's fighting cancer like it's you at least like I don't I think you also kind of need to take a little bit of the ego out of it of being like you thought she could come to you I probably I think I fucking told the internet I was depressed before I told my best friend or like any of my friends it's not something that people really like to talk about yeah it's not fun you

need to take that ego out of it and it her being depressed and all of that it's not it's like her not telling you is not something that you should take offense by at all because it's such a daily struggle and for her I think the best thing that you can do because I think right now like your feelings are hurt and that's fine like you can have those feelings and you feel like you're putting in more effort than she is but I think you need to have a conversation with her I think you need to be and like my friends and I've done this before because I don't I don't hang out with people who don't have like some sort of mental stability issues because I just like can't relate so we literally like I know like my friends know if I'm feeling super depressed like the thing that

I'm not going to ask you to hang out because I'm convinced you don't want to hang out with me and that everybody hates me and no one wants to be around me so you just need to fucking show up at my house and hang out with me like that's kind of how like we have that we've had that talk and so I know if like I haven't heard from one of my friends for a couple of days um then like I I know I'm like no I'm gonna call you or I'm gonna show up at your apartment or like if I'm gonna I'm going to straight up ask you how you're doing because you're not going, we've like said it before, like I'm never going to like, here are the signs that I'm feeling really depressed. I'm not going to tell you I'm feeling really depressed and I don't need you to ask me if I'm feeling

depressed because I don't want to talk about it. But these are the things that I do. So know that and this is what I need from you. Because I think like you just probably feel a little helpless and lost in how to help her because you're coming at it from a place of prioritizing and switching around your schedule for her and she's not doing that for you but i think like where she's at needs to be a priority and it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you as a friend it's just like she's battling some shit i think also with the feeling hurt that she's not trying harder to hang out with you that can go to even regardless of the depression like the different ways that people show love and the different ways that people show affection and you know if you want to get into like

the love languages there's like five main ones and you may be quality time like I know for me if my friend isn't hanging out with me I'm like you don't like me anymore but some people just don't show love that way they show love by saying it or they show love by you know just any xyz way so she may not even realize that she is not giving you the like love or affection or whatever you would characterize that as that you need out of a friendship so honestly I think all like pretty much everything can be helped or aided along by just like that conversation by saying because she just may have no idea yeah and then separate from that like nine times out of ten especially when you're depressed things are about you and not the other person like showering yeah showering is hard

let alone like making plans yeah and i know for me if i like forget to text someone back that is pretty much always about me or like i was busy doing something or like i forgot it's really usually not about like oh i freaking hate this person they were the worst person in the whole planet and then when somebody doesn't text me back i'm like oh my god they hate me they're the worst person so i think just like trying to flip that and like things are usually about the other person and especially if she may not be you know the most social especially being depressed like she just may not be the kind of girl that's going to reach out to people and that just might be her personality type and that just might also not be the way that she shows affection

and i would also i'm curious about so you said that you're prioritizing but she's not prioritizing hanging out with you if she's making plans and doing other stuff i think as her friend being like fuck no dude if you don't like if you're busy and like you're like doing something else that's like helping you feel better my feelings aren't hurt totally but if she's just not responding and she's not prioritizing hanging out with you and she's making excuses, there's such a guilt that I personally feel when I'm depressed and hanging out with my friends

that I'm just bringing them down. And then that for me, I'm like, are you inviting her? Are you asking like, hey, can I come over and watch a movie? What do you want to do? Or are you saying, hey, a bunch of us are going to go see a movie later. Do you want to come? I think like you need to figure out

how you're approaching this and what she's comfortable with because it might not be that she's not making time for you and prioritizing. like she just might not feel up for the things that you're asking her to do like if i'm feeling super depressed when my friends have called me it's like hey do you want to like even if i'm not feeling really depressed i was like hey do you want to come to like a party i'm like no but like in my head i'm like but i would really like i'm feeling super low i would really love if you came over and we had dinner and just hung out and talked but i'm not going to say that so i think

you need like some people and and maybe maybe she i don't know like you just need to figure like talk to her because as much of you want to be supportive and you can only be supportive of somebody going through that when you know how to support them and also just try and find a little bit of um just really try and put yourself in her shoes there because especially you're saying that she doesn't have a lot of friends and you guys like are next like next door neighbors that they live so close like maybe just like start as a part of like i mean maybe i would say like just text her and be like hey how would you feel about like you and me like and you can make it about you I really want to start getting into like doing a walk in the morning like how about like before

school or before we do like let's take like you and me half an hour walk in the morning so like you can get her out of the house it can just be you two it isn't like a really pressured situation and it's like comfortable like you're walking around your neighborhood together getting some exercise there and making it I don't know just I I think some people think distraction and that can be great for some people but I just I think your paths and your like wavelengths are completely crossing because I don't think either of you want to be a bad friend. And I think you're both just your feelings are getting hurt. And she's obviously coming from a place where she really needs to focus on her wellbeing that, um, I mean, I'm a super shitty friend and I'm

depressed. And like, I think I'm so lucky that my friends cut me like massive slack. And I like, thank them so much for that because I'm like a shitty person to be around. I remember one day I like talked to Texas, I texted Aislinn and I was like, this is one of my friends. I text her and i was like are you mad at me she's like i'm not mad at you at all why and i was like i don't know maybe i'm just like feeling super depressed i'm convinced you're mad at me she goes like okay i'm coming over like i'm not mad at you at all like this is yeah and it can be it can just be really it can be really hard and it's awkward to talk about with friends and stuff because you never want to make them feel uncomfortable but i think like you gotta rip the band-aid off to then make

it better for the long run um there's this thing and i haven't seen the episode but it's from RuPaul's Drag Race where one of the drag queens names her anxiety Brenda and so all my friends and I have started calling our like anxious feelings Brenda so sometimes like I'll text my friend I'll be like hey Brenda's telling me you're mad at me like I don't think you are but I just like really need to make sure because Brenda won't shut up she just keeps telling me you're angry and then I'm gonna be like oh my god no no no like that's just Brenda Brenda needs to shut up it's like Brenda is like the worst friend you could ever have she is always trying to stir the pot you never really text her or invite her places but she's always there she shows up no one can

figure out like how she's in your friend group but she's always there and so that to me has like especially with my friends and I like communicating kind of the difference between like our anxious feelings and our like feelings feelings being like okay like Brenda's telling me this and I think it's crazy but and it's a nice detachment from it yeah because also if you think of stuff like if you're saying okay brenda's telling me everyone i know hates me and never wants to see me again it's like well brenda's stupid yeah exactly like alexis knows that yeah can you even imagine if you had a friend who was telling you all that stuff like thinking of your anxiety as a friend and then you you wouldn't listen to that friend you'd be like the friend is insane yeah that makes

sense i always call like my normal brain my anxiety brain but i'm gonna name it now yeah exactly find it find a nice name that fits for you it helps so much within like my friend group with like communicating uh well yeah i mean i just yeah i don't even know what else to say i just think you gotta come at it from sympathy and also um not expecting like okay i'm gonna hang out with her and then we're gonna talk out her depression then the next day she's gonna feel better um because i think sometimes if you're depressed and your friend expects that they can fix you that's like a really frustrating situation to be in because a lot like a lot of times you're not gonna hang out once and then it's gonna be like oh i fixed her she's better um sometimes

the best thing to do is just like be there for someone and it sounds like your heart's definitely in the right place with that and you're trying to to be there for her yeah whatever capacity that yes exactly and sometimes like i know with my friends if if like one of us is feeling impressed sometimes it's a matter of like i can't hang out right now but like please keep inviting me whenever you feel like icky about anything having a conversation is usually the answer it's the quickest fucking way to get it solved exactly or yeah just being like okay brenda's telling me this like yeah is it true fuck brenda yeah fuck brenda brenda should we go on to the next call i'm a 17 year old girl and my best friend for years is also 17 and out and proud gay and he recently told

me something pretty shocking he told me that he wants to have sex with me just to see what it would be like with the girl but but like to make things even more complicated ever since I was young I've kind of been in love with him but I've always pushed my feelings aside because he's gay and and also my best friend I feel like this could be my like one chance to be with him so maybe I should really do it but I don't want to ruin the friendship I'm really stuck on how to respond to him so please give me some advice I think you should hang okay it's gonna sound crazy let me finish let me finish I think you should only do it if you're in a position where it's not gonna hurt you emotionally and it sounds like you're not you're not in that place so you

shouldn't do it like if you guys were just bffs and you like loved hanging out and you thought it would be fun and you thought it would be like just like oh my god we're so crazy and fun and then the next day you guys like got brunch and you were like oh my god we're so crazy that was crazy then like sure but it does not sound like that's where you are i also just i just there's a part Like, I just don't understand what would compel you as the girl to be like having sex with a guy who is not set. I don't, to me, that just sounds like you're setting yourself up. Like, I don't want someone to like have sex with me and be like, oh my God, this is so

weird. Like, I don't like this. Like, I think that it's such a vulnerable, especially when you're in love with them. Yeah. Like, it's such a vulnerable kind of thing that I would be like, also like my, my knowledge on this is like literally like one of my best uh guy friends is gay and he talks about how the one he like was been with one girl the one time he went down on a girl he like threw up afterwards i have like the opposite story where i have a guy friend who's gay and he had like a best gal pal

and they slept together and then it was like a thing that they did together and it was like fun and like fine um and he was like yeah i mean it was hot but i'm still gay like you know uh i don't know they you know it's something cool to do and I'm glad I had that experience but like I still you know I'm into guys um and I think that only worked because like she understood exactly like what they were both going into and so I but it sounds like you were it's not what you should do I know because that just means because that is just like it's like just friends with benefits kind of a thing because also like there's I I've said this so many times but like sex is just it's purely what you make it like if you want to have a massive emotional connection to it like you can

but like there's also just like a primal kind of thing yeah so it's like there doesn't have to be you got there doesn't have to be this like big romance behind it for everybody it's like up to whoever it is but like it only would work it's the same situation like imagine if he was straight could you be friends with benefits like him being gay doesn't really have anything to do with it it's like this is somebody that you have like immense feelings for and have like pushed aside and also like is there not a part of you that is like hoping he's gonna have sex with you and be like i take it back yeah i'm straight and i love you yeah like the likelihood of that is like so slim to like none like more likely than not it's not going to end up like that you might have more

feelings for him it might be really awkward he might literally be like i don't want to do this anymore and like you'll feel insecure and shitty you gotta just like squash it and say no to him and i don't know if he's known that you've ever had these kinds of feelings for him because i don't think he would suggest it i agree i think he probably just thinks you are fun best friends and also like it would be because i'm gay so it'd be like easy for me if i like want to have sex with one of my guy friends like have sex with him and then be like ha cool um and like not feel any which way or feel awkward or like whatever but if like they were straight it would be different like it just is super different for him it would be a very very different experience for him and it

would be like exploratory and doing something he's never done before for like the thrill of it and it wouldn't yeah it would be like skydiving exactly it would not be like souls connecting it would not be like wow now we must go to the farmer's market together and like hold hands and yeah exactly so it's just it's gonna be literally for him like skydiving yeah whoa i'm so crazy i did it yeah and then like when he's 80 he'll be like oh i remember when i went skydiving or when i fucked a girl yeah it's gonna be like really easy for him to just move on and it sounds like for you it would be not that and i don't think you need to tell him that you're in love with him i think you can just be like oh my god like you're crazy but like no i'm not gonna be

that one girl you have sex with and also you never owe your friends no matter you never owe anyone sex even if you like love each other and your best friends or whatever you never like oh that's him like if you say no he should be like okay yeah because it is like a funny crazy like he's coming at it of like this is a funny crazy idea i want to go skydiving and you're allowed to say no i don't want to go skydiving absolutely i value my life and my heart yeah i'm scared of heights yes just tell him that you want to fuck back i can't i'm scared exactly oh yeah okay guys so we are headed into producer's corner and this is where melissa picks a uh either we've got a call back from somebody who we've given advice on a previous episode and they're updating us or we have

somebody who um is going to give some better advice than we did and maybe has a personal experience with a call and we'll offer their input that is so fun some nosy bitches which would be me i would call into this podcast every episode something to say well this is a uh update so this is uh from the episode with lucas crookshanks um from the girl who her friend i fucked at a party no not that one the girl who um her mom drove her to have sex oh yes a guy to pay rent to pay rent whoa so this is an update wait so hang on really quickly so i can get it yep so her mom was like i need you to have sex with this guy for instead of because i can't pay rent we don't know exactly how it went down on that end but it was like an older guy and

the girl was like yeah no i hung out with like she this girl's friend it was like natural like just happened but her mom drove her there yeah and like and they're friends with the guy's son yeah so they think like these high school kids that's either high school college or predatory 20s 18 20s yeah maybe hot no i feel like not hot because i'm pretty sure your mom drove you there and like they needed the money they needed the money for like rent and stuff wait they needed the money is where i'm losing yeah he paid for he paid for sex yes oh i thought it was just like she was hanging out with like her friend and then like there was this older man there her mom drove her to an older man they had sex and then their rent was paid got it and their friends with that

older man's son like the the okay the friend group okay i'm a little less excited we're still fucking confused yeah okay i just before i like gave it a date i guess i just wanted to say thank you because you guys validated that I how I wanted to feel but I was afraid to feel um and that was that it's okay to choose yourself over choosing others you know it's okay to make sure you're okay or others are okay um and I'm we're talking and hanging out again um I haven't brought it up mostly because I'm scared to um the situation's kind of passed I guess and I don't want to bring up stuff that could hurt her and where she's at in life right now she's trying to move out of her mom's house and I'm just you know trying to help her as much

as I can um I don't think it's continuing but like I said I've been kind of too scared to ask and um i guess i am not wanting to because i don't want to hear either that it's happened or i don't want to hurt her more than what's probably happened i just want to thank you again and i want to thank you for helping others with situations who aren't like mine and just being an amazing person in the world of social media thank you love you that's so sweet usually the updates or the callbacks are being like i didn't take your advice it all went wrong literally went super fucking wrong yeah so one of the things you had we had said was um maybe she just needs a friend right now so you just be her friend because she had

said that she felt like uncomfortable with the situation and like really didn't want to hear about it but then felt like a bad friend for not wanting to hear about it and then we me and lucas were saying that like you have to value you have to like prioritize your feelings and like if this is draining for you and you don't want to hear about it you don't have to hear about it um but then also that like she might be in a situation like this might not have been as like fun and consensual as she made it sound and so i'm glad to hear that your friend is moving out of her mom's place and i think that that will probably do wonders for like your friendship with her because i don't think yeah i just think like you're like she's probably was not in a good either she was

in a consensual not great space or she was in like a non-consensual not great space like she was definitely either pressured or not pressured to do it like it's not really something that do you mean like either like you were said that you were gonna do this or you felt like you needed to like you felt like fuck my family's broke like i know that this like it maybe hasn't been explicitly said but i know that like if i hook up with this guy this is going to like help my family um and so she was maybe she was able to make that choice but like it came from like a place of desperation so i think her moving out of her mom's house is great and i think that uh if she's open to talk about it i think you should but i think it's like i don't think you need to bring

it up because i think she's in the right mindset of not wanting especially when she's still at her mom's house like not wanting to like either bring something up that's like raw and fresh and then also like if she's still hooking up with him like you don't have to want to know about that yeah definitely i think it kind of goes back to like the depression thing like sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there and it doesn't mean you have to like fix that for her but just by being a friend she can hang out with and like relax with and not be like on edge that is helpful in and of itself um yeah wow that is a crazy sitch i'm just trying to sort through all that i also wonder how much the rent was yeah right yeah also i mean she is oh wow like i mean i can

imagine your mom like tells you to do something or like insinuates you should do something and that is a totally different thing than like anyone else doing it so i can't imagine like the thoughts going through her mind like if you sort of called in here and you were like unsure how to feel about it i can imagine how unsure she yes feels about it like oh my god i did this is it bad should i feel bad like is it right is it wrong and she also really helps her family financially right yeah so there's like that kind of obligation and being like and also like something like i just have a like struggle i just really it makes me really really sad to see like parents and adults whose kids really have to parent yeah and it gets put in a situation um where they have to grow up

and be an adult and like do things that you might not really understand the consequences of because you don't have as much life experience and there's someone with more life experience not guiding you in the right direction. Yeah, making you do something like that. Well, shit. Okay, guys.

That's the end of the episode. Thank you so much for being on. Oh, thanks for having me. You're so good at advice. Oh, thanks. Same to you. And look at us on this couch.

We really got loungy. We did. I started pretty loungy. You started loungy. I got loungy. You got loungy. It's a good thing to get. I hope you guys

enjoyed this episode. If you are watching on YouTube, you can go to don'tblameed.show to find out where you can listen. It's on iTunes, Apple Podcast app, as well as SoundCloud and on the website and on the website oh yeah true true true and if you're

um listening there and you want to watch us and see our facial reactions uh you can go to YouTube to see that and where can people check you out on the internet oh well you can listen to my podcast I'll go to Alexis G's all it's where you know all the podcast places and Megan and I did an episode together that will be going up around now oh sick uh so be sure to tune in and listen to that and then all my social media is at alexis g saul oh i'm burping and i was going to plug us if you guys want to uh follow melissa and i all of our socials are listed down below and if you want to be in an upcoming episode um or you just i mean you need advice i mean it's not like an like i want to be in an episode my life is in shambles if you want to apply kidding um if your life is in shambles

uh or uh you just need some fucking help you can get our advice by leaving us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international callers email an audio file to meganpodcasts at gmail.com and yeah and also anyone who still has updates from previous episodes I love fucking updates. Yeah that's

really cool. Give me the fucking updates All your next advice questions are going to be from me. Oh sick great love it change your voice for all of them like hello okay guys I hope you enjoyed the episode and I'll see you next week. Goodbye. Goodbye

don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa de monts post production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then Thank you.