Don't Blame Me! - S2E15: Guest: Ashly Perez - How To Get Birth Control

Episode Date: August 17, 2018

The wise Ashly Perez is here this week, sharing her infinite knowledge. We’re answer your questions on what to do if you’d rather get yourself off than have sex, dating your best friend, and getting over your mentally abusive ex boyfriend. We also have an update from the listener that was “almost” the one.-Follow Us On Twitter:@meghanrienks@itsashlyperez@sheisnotmelissaNeed Advice?www.dontblameme.showDomestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrienksSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Don't Blame Me. Today our guest is Ashley Perez and we talk about a caller who is

finally dating her best friend after four years and then her family doesn't really want to let them have the same benefits of friendship that they now have as dating. No sleepovers, is that allowed? Because they're dating now, they weren't dating before. And we also talk about a really, really, really, really, really shitty, shitty, fucking douchey guy, as you can tell I'm really upset about it um who told this girl to kill herself his girlfriend and now they've broken up and should she try and get closure and maybe get back together with him plot twist she fucking shouldn't boys are dumb hello everybody and welcome to another episode of don't blame me today's fantastic amazing guest is ashley prez hello hi how's it going i'm so good i love we

pretend like we sit down here like we haven't been talking this whole time we've been setting up we talked about harry potter for oh we did i told her i was gonna copy her outfit which yeah if you want to see it we're recording this for youtube so um go check out our outfit it's really fucking cute are these made well jeans they are everything actually this is urban

that's really cute fuck i'm like really jealous of your outfit oh i was gonna change yeah do you want to change now do you want to i don't care does anyone else care no okay i'm wearing the same outfit from last episode okay yeah you know you know what she's a busy woman she has to yeah this is called um what's it called block shooting

guys don't need to learn about production maybe i'll just take maybe i'll just take a different i'll put something else out for the picture and the thumbnail so i just trick people yeah this is going to be really hard for me not to do the whole entire time you can do it touch it melissa's also here hi melissa how would we get anything done without her we wouldn't what was what are your titles today um okay what's that okay editor producer director okay those ones aside fun ones badass we did superwoman superwoman oh i like that's why the s is over there yes mark your territory so um this is an advice podcast you guys are tuning in for the first time and what happens is is people call in they tell us the shit that's happening in their life and then

we listen sometimes we laugh um if your lives aren't not like your lives are funny but sometimes like the shit that happens in your life is pretty fucking funny um and then we give do our best to give some good advice maybe not the best advice probably the advice that you're more likely to take from at least for me i'm like a subpar person of society yeah and like person of society like i'm not always going to do the best thing or the right like but i'm going to i'm not going to do the wrong thing i did not expect person of society to be the thing that you said like i like i'm never i might not always do not evil is what you're saying no i'm not oh i'm not terrible i'm not evil i might not always do like the like the best or the most right thing in the world but i'm

like, I'm not going to do the worst thing. Like I'm going to fall somewhere in the middle. Oprah says intentions are the most important part. So there you go. You have good intentions. I do. I always have good intentions. Sometimes it's executions. Just like, no, that's great. I feel the same. I'm not necessarily the best advice giver, but 90% of my advice is from Oprah, who is the advice giver of the world. So, so therefore, yeah, you are, you are the voice for that. Oprah, if you want to get some sage words of wisdom and some advice, you can leave us a voicemail at three one zero six nine four zero nine seven six and for our international listeners email an audio file to meganpodcast at gmail.com and we will collect

them sift them out and uh we're gonna give you some some some hopefully some good advice i feel like you'll be good at this you're like wise and shit oh thank you i mean i'm sitting like buddha so i'm ready i was like you're you're sitting like primed and ready like deliver some fucking like And here it is. Knowledge bombs. I came from Tibet this morning, so I'm ready. Lucky. I'm 18, and I just lost my virginity a few days ago, actually.

And I'm not on birth control, but I've been wanting to go on birth control because I'm starting college in the fall, and I know that I'm going to be sexually active, and especially now after having sex, I want to have it again. and but basically my parents are really conservative so I don't really know how to go about talking about it like I know if I brought it up like they would kind of just shoot it down and say no and say I don't need to go on it and I shouldn't go on it because I shouldn't be having sex and like it would just be a really awkward conversation um so I'm wondering if there's any way that like I can get on it without my parents knowing I'm not really sure how to go about that And if there's not, then what would your advice be for talking to my parents about it and, I don't know, having a mature conversation with them and figuring it out?

Oh, I love this question. I immediately have so many. Yeah, this is why Planned Parenthood is so important. You can go to Planned Parenthood. Also, condoms work in the meantime. Don't have unsafe sex. Also, birth control protects you. Condoms protect you from stuff that birth control doesn't, STDs.

so if you can't immediately go you can for sure go to a drugstore or have your friend buy you condoms or buy them on amazon or something i probably don't want it shipped to your house you can get it shipped to school or to your friend's house or something there's yeah your friend with cool parents you like don't care i think it's cool hey good for you for being sexually active and for wanting to protect yourself and be thinking about that i also grew up with super conservative parents and i think the most important thing is make sure that you're safe so if you want to have a conversation later look you're going to college you're gonna they're gonna look at you in a different way and respect you in a different way so i don't think

you necessarily need to have that conversation before you go to college if you don't feel safe when you come back you can have that conversation as an adult when your parents view you as an adult yeah or you can have the conversation when you have a child and then they're like okay she clearly has sex i think there's also like as much as i don't know like i i think as i had friends who had like very like what i would call them like chill kind of parents but that also comes from like your parents don't necessarily like if you're doing something that you think that they wouldn't like you to do they'd rather they just not know like if you're gonna do it anyway i don't think that they need to know also like your sexual experiences have nothing to do with your parents

so like they're just not tied and related um planned parenthood that's exactly like that's why it's around i remember when arden rose which i've already ratted her out for this before when she first moved to la she was like i need to get birth control how do i do this and that was like one of the first things we did, like when we moved to LA was like, Arden got birth control at Planned Parenthood. And I think like exactly like you're saying with condoms too, I think that's also a habit you should get in now because even, um, you're, you're saying that you're going to go to college, you're going to be sexually active. That's, that's the prime, especially if you go to like UC Santa Barbara, prime fucking time to get an STD is like sex with multiple

partners. Um, and making sure that you are not only protected against, you know, like getting pregnant but getting std and listen most of us end up with hpv and it's something that men give to women it does nothing to them it's not fair and it you know you may think it's the guy's responsibility to have a condom no if do not have sex with someone without a condom and there's gonna be lots of guys to tell you that you know until you are in a committed relationship and you've both been tested don't ruin your life over some guy feeling like oh i forgot a condom you know also watch knocked up you don't want to get pregnant no you don't you don't you really don't it's not no sex is that good that it's like worth like potentially with an 18 year old boy

like no drunk hookup at like i don't know like a pie for jumanji which was my thriving party um like that's like it's never gonna be worth the ultimate consequences also because i mean that's just it falls on you like when it comes to like anything your sexual health is your responsibility so make sure you get in charge of it but good for you if you're thinking about these things yeah and you can also at school you can also go to your health center at school and your parents would never know that yeah your parents would never have to know even a lot of pharmacies now too also you can get birth control by going there a lot of people don't have it we should point out that the reason Planned Parenthood is important is you know it gives people access

and a lot of places don't have access because different governments are different governors are trying to get rid of that access for women so if you don't have a Planned Parenthood around it's good to know that there's student health centers or a cvs yeah but condoms are available everywhere of course birth control for men is easy to find but they're regulating for fucking women yeah they're like oh we under we want to we want to get off but like we don't want to have to like deal with your vagina only when like we want to have sex with him like you've got the rest of the stuff taken care of right we're just gonna text so much on this podcast yes okay great like fucking shit all the time uh and yeah and also not to be like a shameless plug

I love Planned Parenthood, huge fan. And if you are financially able to and are able to donate money, I think that would be a really, really, really great thing for any listeners to do. Yes, 100%. I'm going to do it now. This reminds me that it's very important. It's very, very, very important. Saved my ass a bunch of times.

High school me loves it. Okay, on to the next call. I'm 20 years old, and I currently go to a nursing school. so my problem is that uh i don't know but like ever since i was younger or like not younger because i'm only 20 but like um i noticed that like my friends when they talk about sex like they're so into it and like i can talk about sex all day but they like always talk about like yeah like i just had this dick appointment and it was so good and whatever and i just like feel kind of left out because I haven't really felt like that before um I don't know if it's because of stress

from school or like I don't know because ever since I was in eighth grade uh I always was like more developed than everyone else so every guy I've had a crush on has literally only liked me because um they were trying to sleep with me or they're like oh she has tits like yes girl I don't want to date you i just want to fuck you whatever so i guess what i'm asking is is that is it okay for me to not be like into that right now like it's weird i can go a whole year without having sex like the last time i had sex was a year and i do masturbate like every night though so yeah i just i don't know i don't get why i can do it to myself but i guess i can't let other guys do it to me i don't know if it's because like if i know they just want to fuck then i'll just be immediately

turned off because i do feel like that sometimes but i don't know like i feel sexually attracted to other guys i'll see guys like oh damn he's cute but i wouldn't want to necessarily like have sex with them i don't know i feel kind of awkward about it even though a lot of my jokes are kind of like sexual jokes you know i feel like you're just doing you like that my advice for you she literally is doing her she's literally crushing like you are this is such a mature like i i wish that i was like this when i was yeah i mean maybe at like 20 i think i was kind of similar to this but like this is such a healthy mindset i think it's also important to know that you don't need a relationship in order to have physical pleasure i think it's great that you're

masturbating it doesn't make you weird listen you're in nursing school you don't need along with that dick and getting dick down comes with a whole fucking personality who might ruin your life right now so like so true you know if you don't want that and it's not something you need i do think we should address that what she was saying about how she likes the attention and she has a little bit of fear of if you develop early that is a big issue and it's something where you know i think you have to start learning that not all guys or girls or whoever you're attracted to is the same but it's okay um you know you can have a system that weeds out guys who only want to sleep with you because of your boobs and you should be able to tell pretty quickly but yeah

that doesn't mean that you have to close you shouldn't automatically assume that all men only want to sleep with you for that reason i would trust your intuition with that like girls especially i think females have such a great sense of intuition and a great picker when it comes to people like you especially because like you're aware of the fact that this has kind of made you jaded when it comes to men you know what to look for because like you've been in the situation where guys have only wanted this so i i you're i would exactly you're saying i wouldn't decide that like no i'm never going to like date and you're not saying that you're not going to like ever date again but i think it's valid that you have like a fear for that because it is associated with

being objectified in a way that's like i don't know i think especially when you're younger getting objectified in that way like you see your friends have boys have crushes on your friends were girls and stuff and like instead of that like you're getting sexualized at like a young age which it doesn't satiate that same feeling because obviously it feels good to be told that like you look hot and you look great and stuff but that it doesn't fulfill the same feeling of being like I really like you as a person like I think you're really interesting and like I really like love spending time with you like it's just super different and most likely you'll meet someone the way that you can kind of weed that out is you'll meet someone where most people meet people

either at work or through friends or someone who knows your actual personality and not some random guy on the street who thinks that you have a nice body which you know some people meet people that way but if that's a concern of yours then you can just already weed out anybody who you don't personally know yeah and i think it comes with age too especially like young guys or whatever like the first time they see a girl their age with tits that's like not their mom like it becomes so crazy but once you get older guys have seen girls they they've seen they've seen tits before like that becomes less of uh i don't know i think also just like yeah as guys get older it becomes less of a commodity less of like oh this is what i'm going for like i want a girl who like looks like

this and that kind of thing like i think as you get older and also like you don't have like like you said nursing school you don't really have time i mean if you're masturbating i could probably go a year without having sex too a hundred percent you get off every time right yeah and also like not the same with sex you don't even like it's like you maybe maybe you don't have like an hour and a half to like go to dinner with somebody and like meet someone and vet them and find out if they voted for Trump and get birth control. You literally have 15 minutes right before you fall asleep at night. Get that deep sleep. Get that nice deep sleep. That is so funny. Also, I just want to say you are normal. That is the biggest thing. You're asking if you're normal. You know

what? I have friends who talk about dick and who talk about things and just sex in general. I'm gay, but my friends talk about sex in a way that I don't really talk about sex, but that's just who I am. It doesn't mean that you're a prude. It doesn't mean that you're different or wrong or that you should be like them they're how they are you're how you're are so how you are so just make sure that you know i would say the one thing to work on is just make sure that you're not consciously closing yourself off to everyone but other than that just do you like you're allowed to prioritize work and you're allowed to put like dating on the back burner but i think it's also about like if you have the time and like you would be open to it if there is the right guy it's like

you're saying like don't don't go into everything like guards up closed off but i also think it's okay to you obviously like you have reason to feel kind of like wary of people and i think that's allowed you don't have to shut off that kind of like oh let me give everybody like the benefit of the doubt like no there's lots of terrible fucking people out there the other thing i was going to say is if i'm a person who actually doesn't always have the best judgment on people and i i get taken advantage of because i assume everyone has the best intentions so if you're worried because you've been jaded about like i don't i can't really tell if guys like me for me ask your friend your friend will know if he's trying to sleep with you or not so find a trusted

friend if you're worried that your radar is too far off ask your friend to be like do you think this guy actually likes me and they'll tell you yeah dm me the screenshots of your text i'll tell you i constantly would tell my friends and they like don't want to hear it i'm like this guy just wants to fuck you like no i think he's great i'm like okay well you can think he's great but like i think he just wants to fuck yeah i'll be like brutally truthfully honest but yeah i think also um as i've it's a kind of a different situation but every time when it comes to relationships i always think it always works it never works until it does and especially dating and guys like whether that's you've definitely got it in it's sucky when it's like all the same kind of similar

situation that keeps happening over and over again but um like there there's not not that i'm gonna say like there's a person out there for everybody because i think like you can adapt and who you are to like other people who like come about and stuff but this was a fraction a small fraction of your life you are only 20 you have so much more of your life to go it's like associating dating with that and like boys and stuff with that just think when you're 40 you'll have like oh you can associate your 20s between 20 and 40 with some totally different outcome like that what happened to like how that reaction was when you were younger is not just it was part of your past but it's also like such just to me sounds so much like yes young boys like young boys and like young

girls and being in that situation in general my advice for straight people too is for young women is to date people who are slightly older than you because men your age almost doesn't matter if you're a 22 year old woman you should date a guy who's 25 or if you're 29 you should probably date a guy in his 30s because men aren't at the same developmental age as women until they're truly in their mid 40s and so you're if you're looking around and you're going out with people who are your age yeah those guys are probably just looking at your tits right now because they're not like you being like what's my career i'm gonna be a nurse someday they're literally like titty city city city yeah i literally would never motorboat that shit i literally would never date somebody

who's 24 yeah like i so i have my uh friend's dating profile like we created a dating profile for her and put it on my phone because she doesn't want to deal with it she's like jaded by dating apps so i want to do it because i have a boyfriend and it's fun for me so i get to be her i'm not being her i'm saying like this account is run by megan um and i literally like talk to guys being like so why should you date my friend like how cool are you um and uh i literally she's my she's 24 and i do not swipe right on literally anybody who is not at least like 27 yeah like automatically even though it's not just me like that's if i'm like you could be cute but i can see in your eyes like the 24 year old yes i can see i can see the stupid shit that you do so uh yeah i think you'll

be fine so fine okay we're going on to the next call i said like it was a question we are it's happening next call call so i am 19 years old and i have i have kind of a unique situation so um i've always been kind of confused about my sexuality i'm now out um i don't really know what i'm out as but i have a girlfriend currently i am female um so whatever i don't really put a label on it yet but freshman year of high school i met this girl and she became my best friend instantly and then shortly after that she told me she had feelings for me um it was very complicated for four years with us trying to hide um how we really felt from everyone else and our families because you know we weren't ready to tell people and it just takes time um and we are now dating

so four years of being complicated friends with like whatever else was going on trying to suppress our feelings all that stuff we're now dating and so obviously since we've been best friends for four years um we were very very close and we would hang out almost every weekend and i would sleep over her house and she would sleep over mine we've had like hundreds of sleepovers together um but now that we aren't officially dating um my mom is totally cool with us having sleepovers because we're 19 years old and um her parents are not and I just don't know what to do about that because it really bothers me just because I was so used to it before um but obviously I don't and overstep my bounds and you know force things that her parents are okay with so i was just

wondering what you would do in this situation because it is so weird having to drive home like 25 minutes from her house all the time when we hang out and i'm usually at her house and i don't love driving home but i'm not allowed to stay over i love this love story though i know i was this is my fucking life so get ready for a lot of personal advice um no i this is literally what happened with me and my current girlfriend, we were best friends for a long time. She didn't date guys before, or she didn't date girls before. And so I just thought we were friends. And like over the year, it was probably like a year and a half that we were like best friends and we would sleep over. We would, you know, just do normal best friend things, go to dinner, hang out. And I didn't

really think anything of it besides the fact that I like kind of had a crush on her, but I was like, man, that's just my straight friend. And then I think you kind of realize that something changes And then we started dating, but I think it's important and it's good for the relationship for things to reset because you are so different with your best friend than you are in a relationship. And you also want to give your relationship all the fun of being in a new relationship. So I understand why this is a confusing period of time. It sounds like her parents also might be a little bit homophobic or getting used to whatever this is.

And so I think it's important to respect their rules too, even if it makes you uncomfortable. It's great that you have a space, safe space with your parents. So talk to your girlfriend about that and say like, Hey, I don't like driving so late at night. So if you want to stay over or if we're going to hang out at night, can we hang out at my place? But I actually think that a good for you and I'm so happy for you, but it is important to like have that reset moment because even, you know, it's weird when people get married,

they, even if they were together for 10 years beforehand, you celebrate the anniversary of when you got married because it signifies like a different change and a different commitment. And this is the exact same thing. You might've been best friends for four years, but you've only been dating a couple months and so when you're dating a couple months it's so different than when you've been dating someone i don't know how long you've been dating your boyfriend i was gonna say so like so obviously a very different situation but he and i were friends for about like a like he was like my best guy friend in la like one of my you want my best friends in la i won't tell him that he'll be

like it was your best friend um but like one of my best friends in la for about a year before we started dating yeah i think a little over a year and then we started dating and when we were friends we had we had like a flirt so we were like work friends so it was kind of like the joking like work husband work wife kind of thing yeah but it was like definitely like flirtatious but not in like an overt way but we also like constantly used to say like love you love you you're the best and when we started dating we had to stop and we used to send like heart emojis like over the top kind of being sarcastic but we both had crushes on each other so it was like okay but we weren't dating so it was fine but so then suddenly we had to like stop saying like i love you stop like i had to

like then think about like oh i'm not gonna like text him back like right immediately i'm not going to like send 15 000 heart emojis and be like do you love me like do you think like just annoying shit that i would do when we were just friends and it was super super weird and it made me feel like it's like in hindsight i'm so glad that we both like we didn't even communicate it we both just kind of like suddenly stop saying i love you and my girlfriend would say love you too because you're friends all the time i do love you but like now i like i don't love you in that way but i can't say i love you because it means something totally different but now looking back on it i'm really glad but like then at first it was like super weird and awkward and i did feel

like a little like it's just it not that you feel necessarily insecure but it's kind of just like you feel like you're backtracking in a way but you're not because like you're starting something so completely different that also like i think that's like the intimidating thing about dating friends too is it feels like shit we already know each other so well this is like three years in the making that's like now sped up we've only been dating this amount of time like like you're saying it's a good separation to kind of build the excitement and it's important to separate it now because i don't know how long you guys have been dating but after you date later there are things you tell your friends that you would not tell someone that you were newly dating which

will get you into trouble later and so it is important to set that delineation now if this was before we're dating this is how we acted towards each other and this is after because later when your partner's like well what about the thing you told me it's like that's when you were my best friend i literally did that i literally told my boyfriend about this like guy that i had like had a will they won't they like oh my god are we gonna hook up kind of thing and then when we like first started dating and the first month of us hooking up i was like i'm gonna go hang out with this guy i was like didn't didn't you guys like used to hook up like fuck you should know that it's very well and you would not tell someone who you met normally but this is a

good thing anyone who is listening who has a friend who is a best friend who you feel feelings towards careful what you say to them truly because they're not gonna forget yeah they won't and you're when you're someone's best friend you tell them all the juicy details and all the back and forth of it but yeah the separation is good it's gonna feel weird and so it's okay for it to feel weird but i also think you know in general in relationships you cannot change people's family you cannot change how people feel or view themselves and so you have to respect if that's an actual boundary then you have to respect that because you know what to be honest her parents are paying for that house and your parents are paying for your house so you don't get to set

the rules yeah and it might not be like a homophobic thing they might just not want yeah maybe even she had a boyfriend she was like no no boys like my parents when i was in 19 in my 20s my parents wouldn't let a guy that i was seeing come stay the night with yeah you know that's totally you're 100 right it might not be homophobic it might just be like there are different rules now that you're dating and they're acknowledging that too they're maybe trying to protect her in the same way we're trying to protect you of like it'll also be more fun for your relationship i under like in a new relationship anyway you want to be around each other all the time but take time to be apart from each other because it's so fun to get done

with a date and then not be able to go to sleep because you're like that was i am obsessed with this person if you're just with each other all the time like nothing changed yeah it four years from now is not going to feel any different than what it felt like in the beginning i think it's it's i i find that it's important to like give every part of a like every like timing or section of relationship like it's time because like yes every part of it is fun and i like talked to my friends about that who are like super not into like don't wanting to start dating i was like but no remember the point when like you both know that you like each other and like you're waiting for them to text you back and like you're like you're not concerned that like they don't like

you like you both know this and you're just excited that's really fun and the only time that that should change is when you want more than that and then when you like start dating dating should be fun and this should be like exciting and great and being boyfriend and girlfriend and then it's like i use this advice when people they move in together i'm like when not that i'm saying when dating is no longer is fun you should move in together but like when you're when you've had your fun with this and you've done you're like this is the time you've done doing this now you're going to move on to the next step but when everything is like so fun at the beginning it can be it's it's enticing to skip the not enjoy those time periods and be like no but this is so

great let me do this this isn't this everyone has had the thought when they're dating someone new of like i need to marry them immediately like everyone skips right to the it's right around six months of dating someone where you're obsessed with them and you don't live with them and you're just like i can't picture anyone else in my life and you're like i need to marry them that's what has to happen this is the only thing that should happen but you know but that's what happens in that stage so don't I 100% agree with you don't skip all that stuff because that stuff will happen later yeah and it's fun and I think also when things are going I don't know like so my my boyfriend and I we moved in together quite quickly but not officially which is like kind of like how

I kept my like one foot out the door thing being like well no I mean like you can sleep over here every night but like you still have to have an apartment that he like didn't have a bed set up there but like I knew that he had an apartment so like it was I was like still able to create that kind of barrier and then when we moved in together it was like there were so many times that when we had when we were dating like and if we had like officially lived together or whatever like there are times like I came home really late and I was like really pissed off about something or whatever and I it was still my apartment like it was still like not like he could be there but I knew at the end of the day like oh it's still my apartment like I want to like keep it messy

like I can do this kind of things and those things that you don't really think of when everything's going great or whatever or if I'm pissed at you and I'm like no I want you to leave so I can hang out here with my friends yeah and like he could do that so like now that we live together I appreciate I I knew what I was getting myself in for because like you go kind of through like the bad and the good and then you're like okay now that I know both sides of this and how this like goes at any given day I know what I'm signing up for and this is like what I want to do 100% you are 19 you don't have your own houses or apartments yet you will one day and it won't be as sneaky and fun or it won't feel like an adventure or a thing so just enjoy it for what

it is yeah oh i'm so happy for them i love it four years that's crazy yeah bruh i'm impressed go you guys okay guys we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by uh us reading reviews of the podcast on itunes apple podcast app yes it's that time again for me to suck my own dick there you go i literally had to be like come on it's your sound effect time it's your cue it's your cue you think that's what it would sound like if you tried to suck your own dick because you're reaching so much you'd be like you also have to scream because you've just had a couple ribs like it'd be like a much more painful sound like oh

i was watching an episode of real housewives atlanta and there was a guy his name was i forgot it was something with dick in it um addiction maybe and his name was addiction that was his stripper name and he could suck his own dick shut up did he get herbs removed nope he just had a 12 inch dick and a flexible back yoga namaste next time you see a guy doing yoga big are you doing this to try and suck your own dick like did you watch there was a sketch of um of Will Ferrell's where he like he was playing a yoga instructor and he could suck his own dick that's amazing I mean honestly if I had a dick I would totally try and suck it who wouldn't yeah who fucking wouldn't that's the first thing I do if I had a dick for a day just masturbate just be

like what's this like I feel like we have it better though I feel like girls are yeah girl orgasms are way better yeah um okay guys so while you're here um we're gonna be I'm gonna be reading some reviews of the podcast on apple podcast app sucking my own dick like we said um so this one is from your main squeeze and her username says main like the state so i don't know if this was and it's also capitalized so i feel like this was intentional and it has a winky face too i love that uh and the title of this has been waiting for this my whole life obviously i've been a subscriber for years and this podcast is probably the greatest idea you've ever had also can you like imagine and she's like 11, and so she's like, I've been waiting for this for my whole life, just 11 years.

I've wanted to call in so many times, but I'm impatient and tend to resolve my own issues very quickly. Oh, go you, you, parentheses, Megan, and I literally have the same personality and views on life, so you've been an amazing role model for me since middle school years. I'm a senior in high school now. Oh, this podcast has gotten, has helped me through rough times and showed me that there's always a way to push through those tough times. I should enunciate better, but thank you so much, it's so nice also go you for resolving your own issues i don't resolve my own issues i give other people advice and then i'm like i'm gonna fuck up my i'm gonna stir the pot in my own life and i'll fix it hey uh thank you so much for the review it means so much and i also makes me really

happy when people have been like watching me or like stayed fans for a long time because i'm always convinced that i just piss people off and then they leave abandonment issues but thank you so much and the other one i'm going to read is uh from amber janak love you megan i've been watching our youtube videos for the last eight years holy shit have i been making videos for eight years oh my god whoa since 2010 i need to call the cw we didn't change this can you imagine it's that easy i've just been waiting i've been holding off until the right time to call them hey oh you can give me a show now it's time it's time hey it's time it's time uh for the last eight years and i've watched you grow and i love what you've become and this podcast is amazing it's

definitely such a good fit for you and i wanted to let you know how much i enjoy listening and watching oh that's so nice oh can i read one more this one's funny sure okay my all-time favorite podcast you can see why i picked it by rory kate oh my god gilmore girls i've been a long-time listener and even a caller parentheses ooh scandalous winky face and the advice is amazing not it not only covers heavy topics it's funny and light too it's all you could want in a podcast and the cherry on top is megan and her hilarious her huh and the cherry on top is megan and her hilarious guests i slugged that on purpose so i could say it twice love you my dick sucking got that dick sucking um thank you so much that makes me i really want to know what call she was

now because also like you guys have stopped saying your names which like is great because we just believe them anyway but so i'm like who's rory like i wonder what rory kate's issue was hopefully we helped because she called in before and left a review after so um great thank you guys so much those were the reviews i'm gonna read for now you can leave a review on the apple podcast app five stars um and bonus points if you say something funny that catches my eye maybe some dick jokes and uh yeah thanks guys so much and uh back to the episode okay we are back from the break and we are gonna hop on into calls hey megan i'm 22 years old and me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now and

marriage is in the near future i would want to say but there's just a really big problem that I feel like we are going to face when it gets to that time. And that is both of our families are just so different from each other, and I just don't see how they're going to mesh well together, like, at the wedding. um my family has always been like a drinking family and we don't really care and it's just always a hot mess on my side of the family and his family is like completely different they none of his family members drink um and i just i i know that it sounds silly like involving alcohol but i just feel like i've

always imagined my wedding like with an open bar or something like that and his family and my mom is like very set on there being alcohol there and i just don't want to be disrespectful to his family but i also want what i want and i just i don't know what to do because me and him both both of us drink but he we just hide it from like his side of the family um so like i it's so serious i've considered two different weddings like seriously i know how you can make it work i'm gonna tell you question one how long have they been dating also are you engaged they're not engaged they're just close to marriage so maybe you're 22 so close to marriage is like she doesn't southern accent though yeah i mean no that i mean that's very real most of my friends

were married by the time they were like 21 which is completely fine if that's your choice but also okay so my family doesn't drink sounds like your family drinks so we can figure this out right now um i have a lot of i my family doesn't drink but it is your wedding a hundred percent and the biggest thing is if you don't drink or if someone isn't you know people don't drink for lots of different reasons i'm not going to judge them some people are alcoholics they're sober now just have options if you only had a wedding where the only beverage was alcohol then it would be offensive if you have anything else for them to drink and equal options you can have lots of bartenders will do you can actually do the same signature cocktail one is a mocktail yeah and

then you have um a big thing that's important like i grew up super christian and so we for fancy occasions we always had a lot of sparkling martinellis and that was it love spark and it's good it tastes better than some shitty champagne so just have that too so make sure every base is covered but honestly it is your wedding i will say though before you get married you should think about yeah get engaged truly also don't think about problems that don't exist yet I feel like you need a dog like yeah I mean that's like really rich coming from me because I 100% like have anxiety about things that are like 10 years down the road but like this yeah this just seems like if you're I mean it is true that you don't want to get engaged either without thinking about what

your lives will be together but if alcohol is the biggest thing that you're stressed about like just on one night. I think it is a real thing. Like it helps when your families get along and it means, you know, you're going to be interacting with those people for the rest of your life and they're going to know your children and all that. So you have to talk about like how to assert yourself if, if someone's parents on either side is not okay for something, but when you get married, you're starting a new relationship and a new family. And so the rules are your rules. That's it. Yeah. I think like also the idea that you guys hide drinking from his parents i think if his family doesn't drink and they don't keep alcohol in the

house respectful to not drink in their house and not bring alcohol into their house but like what you do on your own time that i don't think you need to lie about like nor should you yeah because it'll make them treat you like children if you act like an adult they'll treat you like an adult and also like your own like think of like the rest of your life from now on like you're a mom and you want to have wine and it's a fourth of july barbecue and your in-laws are over and your kids are driving you fucking crazy and all you want is wine and you can't have wine because you've kept up this appearance to your in-laws that you guys don't drink it's there's a way to be respectful of that and i also like i don't drink so like i go to weddings far too often for

people i don't really know that well and there's always like i i am not offended by other people drinking like it's a personal choice obviously i don't know the situation with his family and why they choose not to drink but most of the time a common misconception about people who like choose not to drink is that like it most of the time it's about you it's not really about anybody else and also if it is about anyone else his whole family can hang out with his whole fucking family they don't have to hang out with your family weddings also it's not like it would be great if they got along and they were like friends and great but like it's it is so rare that i've ever been to a wedding where all i do is see like there's the wedding group and all like the in-laws

all hanging out together like there's like one side of the family there's like two sides of there's two families and two family friends at weddings like they're gonna have to be entertaining like extended relative like relatives and like family friends just as much as you're going to have to be doing all of that stuff that i think on the day specifically you won't even like as much as like a stress right now you're not even going to like see think of them drinking or not drinking on your wedding day you're gonna have so much other shit to think about that it's not like it's not even gonna cross your radar and i think i think you shouldn't be ashamed of your family being a hot mess and like embarrassing like not that i'm saying that you're embarrassed

by them but like how they're just like they're just two different sets of people i think also give give your family a little bit more credit of being like it's your wedding they're not gonna like maybe they will but like they're probably not gonna like rip their shirts off and say body shots i hope they do i hope they fucking do too and i hope i'm invited i know where you guys are And then also I would say like, give his family the benefit of the doubt too, that there might not there, maybe they're not like judgmental people. They just like are choosing a different lifestyle option. Yeah. And that a hundred percent, you don't know why people don't drink. The other thing is, I think you're totally right about respect the rules of whoever's house you're

in. So I had an uncle who drank and the rest of my family didn't. When the parties were at his house, there was always alcohol if anyone wanted any. When he went to someone else's house, he didn't bring a bunch of alcohol with him. But I also think that, you know, you can have these conversations too the wedding is your event that's your house and so you can do whatever the hell you want and if they want to be pissed at you at your wedding just ignore them there's so many other fucking people there yeah enjoy your day and do whatever's going to make you have a great day because years down the road you'll be pissed that like you didn't have fun because you're thinking about your in-laws and then what what if you only see your in-laws twice

at the wedding and then you're like i made this entire fucking thing for you and i don't even see you yeah like also first get engaged like we're talking about the stages of the relationship get engaged enjoy the stage you're in do not worry about like please don't start talking about how you're going to raise your kids and whatever wedding planning you can talk about that stuff when it's time don't if you're not engaged yet then what is just make a pinterest board and like i include alcohol yeah i have a pinterest board that says wedding that i had to make private because i started getting all these dms and being like are you like engaged oh no i was like no i just really think weddings are pretty and so i just go on pinterest and pin them every woman

has a wedding yeah yeah that and like you know like cute baby costumes have you got have you dived into that no well a lot of my friends have babies now so i am obsessed with babies but i'm still more in the animal phase oh no no i just mean like baby costumes for babies oh yeah yeah if like pinterest if you look up like baby halloween costumes there's oh my god they're like lions no no no like unique ones like this woman she was like uh like um i don't know like a very standard stereotypical french person and her baby was a croissant oh like cute shit like that so that satiates my like oh babies are like watching like videos of babies or whatever but like i don't sit here and like you know like plot and plan so i do definitely have like a list on my

phone of all the names i want for babies which are being shot down by my boyfriend immediately it's important to have that list okay on to the next call i am 19 years old and i'm coming to ask about closure after the end of a relationship so and I'm kind of like baffled right now because I'm coming to you right after this situation I'm like crying so you're taking my big sister role that I don't have so thanks but um so basically me and this guy have been together for seven months and uh she took my virginity which I know you're always like virginity is what you make it and it's not like socially it's not a big deal but to me it always has been just because I get so emotionally connected to people it's not even like a religious thing or anything it's just like

sexual emotionally connected to you which is god a blessing and a curse um but so yeah i'm connecting in that way and that was breaking my heart all the time um but we broke up because one night he ended up in here been like super stressed and stuff and i kind of we had both kind of been pushing it with each other like kind of just arguing and it probably would have been best for us to step away from each other and each go our separate ways that night and not stay together but we didn't anyway um so that night he basically he was like drinking and smoking so he was cross and he got really mean and mad at me and he told me some really mean things like go sleep on the grass and kill yourself or like jump off the bridge is what he actually said so

anyway that was like super bad but we've been broken up and I haven't talked to him since but I was like no I know my worth I'm not doing that um but today I hung out with his sister and we We were supposed to just chill around the city, and she ended up saying she needed to go to her house. So we went to their house, which is where I stayed for a little bit, and I just walked into his room, and I saw everything. I just immediately missed him, and, like, I saw just all the memories flashed before our eyes, and his sister began to tell me all the things she said when we broke up, like, oh, don't talk about me because I don't want her to hurt, like, I want her to be okay, like, I love her, I wish I wouldn't have fucked things up. and i leave next week to go on a cruise i got a job on a disney cruise and i think the last thing

i need to do before i go is tie this in do you think it's just gonna reopen something or is it wise to kind of set and have closure i don't really know what to do i still love him so much i take a bullet for him and i just don't know what to do please help no fuck this guy this guy as jojo said it's just too little too late one of my favorite songs and then as she also said get out right now it's the end of you and me this guy i hate 19 year old boy he sounds like a fucking asshole like he sounds terrible listen people who are nice people don't get drunk and say you should lay in the grass and die so he might feel sorry now or jump off a bridge but he is not a nice person period i don't care if he's

telling your sister or whatever or his sister but that yeah it's just fuck that guy exactly that my boyfriend the first time he ever got super drunk in front of him he accidentally told me he loved me like that and i had to be like i feel like you don't want to say that right now but like not i'm not a huge believer in like oh like drunk words or sober thoughts but you can there are some phrases or some things that like no matter how inebriated i was gun held to my head i wouldn't say to somebody and especially somebody that like you love and you care about if he's able to say those things under like any circumstances like with any assist there like that to me is a red flag and i'm glad that you knew your worth in that moment and you were like no fuck you i'm not

gonna stick around but the longer that you are with somebody who says those things whether it's frequent or infrequent you start to believe that stuff and then you start to feel indebted to this person for being such a great person for dating somebody as terrible as you who should just jump off of a bridge like as as smart as of a girl as you are like that's something like it happens to people like i've been in terrible relationships with guys who treated me so so so badly because at a certain point when you like ease into it and that's always how it happens like and then suddenly you're like oh no now i feel like i'm so special because you've made me feel special because you make me feel like you like break me down to then build me up and you take ownership

of like oh i did that i'm the only one who can kind of do that for you this is a classic toxic relationship also don't hang out with his sister i know that you're friends and that yeah i'm sure you were friends before and she's a nice person and you tell her woman to woman this is not personal this is just something i have to do right now and i hope we stay friends and see each other later but right now i can't hang out with you because exactly that reason yeah her ties are going to be the brother and she's going to need to go home sometimes and she's going to bring up he's going to call her she's going to get a text from her mom and it's going to trigger you just don't do it yeah closure is important i think you are 100 right but closure doesn't mean that you

have to rehash everything with a shitty ass person no and there's no like i i believe like like in moving on as opposed to closure because like the idea of closure there as if is in like two people are a part of this and in reality one person ruined this relationship and that person doesn't deserve to be a part in you getting over this like he was the issue he's not going to be a part of the solution so it is like you like anything that you can say and i say this from someone who like i got my heart broken by my first boyfriend who i lost my virginity to and i am like i even even then like i because he was the only person i'd ever slept with like to me that was until i got older like i was able to like move on but like when i was younger i was like i'm never

gonna be able to move on from this guy and we had like a terrible terrible terrible breakup and i stopped being friends with his friends and i stopped hanging out with our mutual friends and was like i need to like fully separate this and cut this out but that only happened after i like was like we should like meet up and like just like talk this out and get some closure and he said the nastiest things to me to my face and i was like you know fuck the idea of closure because i feel worse than i did like two days ago when i thought i'd hit rock bottom and i and i even like read this is as much as this is how much i don't believe in closure because of this i then his uh grandmother passed away who was really really close to and so we broke up um end of

our senior year of high school and uh part way through I think pretty early on in our freshman year of college his grandma passed away she was really close to him I sent him a message on Facebook and I will admit I was quite petty like he did definitely I wasn't very nice to him after we broke up definitely did some really bitchy things uh which I will not say because people will think I'm terrible let's just say I was on yearbook committee so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so that's that's in print yeah it is it is in print but also take in mind he asked out one of my friends to prom in front of me and then it was with a song and everyone's saying megan the rest of his bandmates saying megan and he sang a different girl's name and nobody knew and

he like ripped his shirt off and her name was there and like i was standing there and everyone thought he was asking me so like it was not that i'm saying it was deserved but whatever this needs to be a movie it should be it should be also the girl he's dating now looks exactly like i looked in high school which is unique because transition lenses so like very specific yeah she does she showed me i'll show you it's fucking insane yeah but i reached out to him and like just sent him a message on Facebook this was like almost a year probably yeah probably almost a year or like six months to a year after we had broken up and um I had seen him no it was definitely a year because I'd seen him over Thanksgiving it was like fine or whatever and I was like hey just wanted to send

you a message like you obviously don't have to respond to this um but I just want to say like I heard the news like I'm really sorry I know that we like don't talk anymore but I know how important she was to you and like I'm sure there's nothing that you would ever need or want from me but I just want to let you know that like if you ever want to talk I'm here and he responded almost immediately and was like uh okay i don't know why the fuck you're messaging me and i was like okay great cool closure is not a thing like this idea that i and i'm not even saying that i did it to feel good about myself but ultimately like i wanted there to be like when when there is when you when a relationship ends and it's unhappy you want to be able to it's hard to

separate being the good memories and the bad memories and you want to end on a happy note because you have happy memories but that doesn't matter you can have happy memories and a bad ending of a relationship very few relationships end well but they can still have been ultimately like overarching positive experiences and after that i was like there's no fucking point because here i am trying to be the bigger person and trying to like reach out and do all of this when in reality like i'm i'm not pining after a guy but like i'm romanticizing the idea of like us having like one final talk and like no that just backfired in my fucking face like you can't have like it does not take two people to create closure and you need to like separate whether

like you don't have to block him on social media because i mean not like delete him because i think like that can send i don't know you feel dramatic yeah and like a little like very negative people like i muted i muted my ex-boyfriend muted his like new girlfriend like i didn't want to like start shit but i'm also and also if he cares about you as much as he's saying to his sister he and his sister will also understand that and know and be like you know i really need to do this for me like i need i need some space i don't need to see that like i don't there's certain ways that like we were talking like when you drive past some ways like oh my god this is so cute like when i'm in my hometown i don't fucking take the way that like drives past my ex-boyfriend's

house like you like there's no way to get over something if you're completely immersed in it because like oh this reminder this reminder this reminder this reminder this reminder also don't the one thing you should not do is if you're moving on don't tell the person that you're moving on because some people want to get closure for themselves and they're like just so you know i am i'm moving i can't talk to you anymore like maybe with his sister is the one person that if she's actually a friend that you hang out with that i would be like hey right now i'm you know i'm trying to give myself some space so i don't know if we can talk right now that's the one person do not tell your fucking ex-boyfriend like actually i've made a decision not to talk to you

because then you're starting shit yeah and you're starting i wonder what you're gonna say are you going to be upset and that's a natural thing like we all want that kind of we all want that satisfying feeling which my friend actually got this which has never happened to anyone like this guy who like broke her heart and was like a complete asshole to her and she was like he's never gonna realize and like appreciate how great i was she got a message like six months ago i was like i just wanna let you know like you were the best thing i missed out on like i like didn't appreciate you and i had you like i think you're amazing and great so i like she's the only person that's ever fucking happened but and the one thing that i will say is the only time you do get

moments like that is after a lot of time time time is the only closure so it doesn't give you that feeling of butterflies anymore you trying to get closure in the time of the exact feelings of your relationship will not happen because people have to grow and so maybe this piece of shit man in 10 years will be like i'm sorry i was a piece of shit when i was 19 and i'm really sorry that you were in the crossfires of that doesn't mean you have to give him any more of your time so yeah just fucking move you're going on a disney cruise go have some fun also use condoms as per our other yes please no don't get pregnant there's a lot of orgies on uh yeah there's a lot i went on i lived on semester at sea um so i lived on a boat for six months and they had um when you walked in

there was seasick pills and a bunch of condoms the condoms were gone the next day after we sailed and the seasick pills just remained there so holy shit that's hella fun um i also want to point out like the nice things that he was saying were to his sister and he didn't say them to you and he did he apologize for the horrible things that he'd said to you and did he tell his sister that like does he say those things in conversation like oh yeah by the way or is it like oh wow no this is like this very dark side of him that nobody else knows also i just want to stress he's a piece of shit i'm sorry there's literally no other i don't want you to take away anything except for this is not a guy who deserves any of your time and i'm glad that you've already made that choice but

we would like to reiterate, but he's a piece of shit and it doesn't, you know, I think something that was really hard for me because I'm a people pleaser and someone who likes to have people happy around me was also trying to get, even just with friendships, that feeling of like, okay, but I feel bad for not having, having good intentions towards someone and goodwill towards them does not mean giving them your time. And if you're someone who likes to please people, it's very hard to make that distinction you have to learn that you not engaging with someone doesn't mean that you have ill will towards them it just means that you like yourself also let us know what you're doing on the cruise like what's your dancing are you like are you singing are you in the water are there water

things there like a mermaid like aerial oh yeah like a dance like a show like a what are you comedy are you a character oh yeah are you a furry are you making hot where's the cruise going okay guys now we're going on to producer's corner where um let's we'll pick either a uh an update from a caller from a previous episode giving us the um the update on what's what's happened on that situation or we have somebody who has some of their own input from a different episode for some advice that we might have given maybe they've got more better advice yeah so this is um from the episode with alexis waters uh speaking of cruises this is an update on uh the girl who her boyfriend told her that she was almost oh yes and and then she went on a cruise so yeah

oh my god it's not terrible yeah how old are these dumb boys boys are so stupid super dude try being gay super dumb yeah she's in her 20s boys are still dumb though like excuse me 28 he's still a fucking idiot oh yeah no they don't get good until they're 30 yeah that's why i don't understand girls who don't have friends like but how do you have conversations oh we gotta do a whole other podcast about girls who don't have friends girlfriends so scary hey megan this is a callback i'm the girl whose ex-boyfriend told her that she was almost the one um i'm happy to say that i'm doing a hell of a whole lot better i went on my cruise it was on the Disney cruise, although I did laugh at your guys' comments. But I went on a cruise and I had

an amazing time. It could not have come at a better point in my life. I actually had lunch with my ex last week, I think, just kind of just getting closure. I mean, he said we were going to be on a break for a month and we met up after the month. And he told me that right after he broke up with me, he downloaded Tinder, met a girl and he went on a date with her like a week after he called the break um so all that he said about needing to date himself for a little bit and focusing or focus on himself was I guess bullshit um so I was really blindsided there because I mean I handled the break pretty well I took time to take care of myself and figure stuff out on my end but he was already uh seeking someone else out which is kind of shitty but um I mean hey like whatever

I guess at this point um I don't know he sounded really excited about her when we went to lunch and I was just like, what the actual fuck is going on? But that's okay. We closed that door. He and I are not friends at the lunch. He said, maybe we could be friends, and you could be like my sister. And that, I think, is just as bad as hearing that I am almost the one. So this boy just pulled out all the lines.

But with that being said, I'm doing a hell of a whole lot better. I got a job promotion. I got this really cool internship, and just a lot of things in my life are going right. um and i may or may not have hooked up with someone on the cruise that's a that's a story for another day but i don't know i had my fun i'm living my single life and i don't need my ex anymore like he can do whatever the fuck he wants but i'm done with that the door is closed and i'm moving on and i'm feeling really really good so i just want to say thank you guys so much for taking that call and giving me amazing feedback you guys are so funny and yeah she's

thriving you can hear it as beyonce says close the best revenge is your paper she's like getting promoted she's doing this fucking guy this is exactly why you don't get closure because you don't need some stupid guy telling you that he got on tinder and he wants you to be his sister oh that's so weird are so dumb that's the dumbest shit i've ever heard and you know what men think they're doing when they do that too he's probably like wow i'm just like i really love you and i want to be helpful because you're so obsessed with me that you your consolation prize and i'm a feminist and i just want you to know that like i really respect you as a woman and not just sexually like i know we dated but like i'm a feminist and i love you besides that but like i just want to be

in your life because like you're an awesome person and i think you want me in your life and it's the capacity in which i'm gonna give it to you oh my god everyone who's listening now please never try and get closure i'm gonna tell everyone closure doesn't exist it doesn't it doesn't there's moving on there's no such thing as closure all closure is gonna do is fucking make you be like honestly maybe there is there's a little bit of truth to the fact of closure now because usually if you're seeking out closure um all you're going to get is the person that you're dating being even more of an absolute idiot yeah you'll be like okay maybe that's it but i think save yourself the kind of heartbreak but shit this guy is a fucking idiot i could just

perfectly see it him being like so i actually downloaded tinder and i'm super excited about this new girl it's like go fuck your fucking self why would you tell me that why why he's so smarmy also duh he was trying i feel like this is another thing we need to talk about just people afraid to be honest when you're in a relationship if someone if your partner confronts you and there's actual issues say what you need to say say that i need space say that i'm thinking about dating other people and it's very hard i will tell you that it's not easy to say those things but this is what you get if you fucking lie to people oh my god where you have this whole false premise and the other person looks like an idiot yeah i really want to be with me fall in love with

me i want to date myself yeah he said he wanted to date himself yeah and she like respected it was like you know that's very mature of you that's like really great and we were being like not very mature of him to admit that no i didn't want to do that but shit i'm so glad you're thriving i'm so glad you have fun on the cruise this makes me really excited for the previous she called it a vocation yeah vocation her voice sounded like her skin looked great didn't it yeah you can tell yeah she brought sheet masks on that trip so many fucking sheet masks well i'm happy you're thriving uh it's great i think this is also like it was kind of nice to have like a little like button on the end of our rant on closure like this this worked perfectly and also

cruises yeah apparently if you're gonna be like newly single go on a fucking cruise yeah and now now previous caller knows it's fun but bring condoms bring condoms we're tying all the calls together wrap it on cruises do you think it's the people who work on cruises that have sex people who go on cruises because now we have a crew everything really yeah okay because i've been on two cruises and i didn't have sex either one i think the crew is also banging i mean it's basically like college it's a enclosed space but if you're just on the cruise yeah well thank you so much for being on the podcast we're done wow that was it yeah you're so great we have to have you back yes i'd love to i say that and this time i really fucking mean it though oh i'm so excited

no you're so good at giving advice i love it and i'm just gonna like you're my new style icon hey and your socks match next time you really have your life together don't you i i actually do i'm like a google doc person yeah i have google docs i don't have my life together i didn't know those were mutually exclusive do you use your google docs yeah but like for what like what like what do you mean like what do i what should i have in my google just or gonna i mean i have like a document that's like my whole financial document and all the things that i do yeah well this was a pleasure truly thank you for having me well where can people find you on the internet if they want to uh which they should follow you at its ashley perez ashley

with no e and if you want to follow um les and i we are both living in the description yep we're just right there if you expand it will pop right out and it's like hello i was like are you gonna tell people your address that's weird yeah it's just we're both living at 1600 vine hell yeah maverick right that's his phrase yeah i think so my least favorite person yeah i mean maybe top five um and uh if you guys want to be in an upcoming episode or you just shit's happening in your life and you need some help figuring it out you guys can call in and leave a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners can email at meganpodcast at gmail.com just an audio file and uh make sure you subscribe to the podcast on itunes soundcloud and uh if you

go to don't blame me dot show you can also listen there and if you're listening on to those and you want to see a video uh it's on youtube too so you guys can check it all out a a a uh and yeah sick guys i will talk to you next week goodbye Don't Blame Me is a production by me, produced, directed, and edited by Melissa DeMonts, post-production sound by Chris Henry, production assistant Julie Carley, and music by Giacomo Picasso and Ryan Hunter. I'll see you guys next week, and don't blame me if your life, you know, completely fucks up before then.

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