Don't Blame Me! - S2E25: Guest: Leo Howard - Dating a Momma's Boy

Episode Date: October 26, 2018

My twin Leo Howard is back! We’re sharing our advice on bi boyfriend cheating, rushing relationships, and pocket pussies. We also have a listener sharing her wisdom on Muslim dating.This is our Season 2 finale! We’re taking a short hiatus and we’ll be back in December! Keep calling in and we’ll get back to you soon.Follow Us!@meghanrienks@whoisleo (instagram); @iamLeoHoward (twitter)@sheisnotmelissa@dontblamemepodNeed Advice?www.dontblameme.showDomestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrienksSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

on this episode of don't blame me we have my twin leo howard he's back ladies and gents and uh there's also a video obviously and uh he's so cute so all of you guys who didn't get to see my video get excited in this we talk about a guy who comes too fast how do you how do you how do you make a guy stop from coming too fast we talk about baseball um taekwondo other things like that we talk about a girl who found her boyfriend's pocket pussy yeah yeah it's it's a big one and we also have a lengthy conversation about a mom who's too involved in her son's relationship and that dynamic. It's a fun one. So keep on watching. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Don't Blame Me. Today, if you're watching this video,

which peep the youtube channel um we are here with leo howard hey guys how's it going uh well i'm really excited that you're here um leo's been a guest before and he asked me when i asked him if he wanted to come back on the podcast he was like same same podcast so um we got a big fan huge listener in the house but everyone but you're good at advice oh i am yeah oh yeah oh i was agreeing with you i'm very good at advice mostly because uh i don't think i'm wrong which is part of partially the issue with my life they never think i'm wrong i don't i mean i'll be sure i am quite i don't think you're wrong that much i am i i what i have that classic dad thing which is do as i say not as i do oh 100 grew up with that dad love him to death yeah literally could

count on uh not one hand i could count multiple times fire nickel for every time my dad said do as i say not as i do yep i would be so rich i almost tweeted the other day being like for someone who has an advice podcast i sure as fucking hell cannot take my life's a mess it was like i was thinking about it last weekend and i already talked to you all about it but i was just like what the fuck am i doing and i was like this is so dumb like if any of my friends were like so i'm like figuring out this this and this i'd be like you're wasting your damn time but i was like yeah no i'm sure i'm gonna joke about it but um being an incredibly i think we're both emotional people yeah so uh it's much easier to third person give advice than it is to be in

the situation being emotionally involved in the situation and give advice so it's really easy we both know when we're making bad decisions but we do it anyway it's not like oh i fucked up it was like no i'm i know this is the wrong thing to do i'm just gonna do it i'm just letting you know i just want to see how it plays out yeah oh me all the time let's go like not the best idea but it's the one i'm gonna do yep um well guys if you're new here this is an advice podcast uh don't blame me if we give terrible advice and totally fuck up your life don't blame me and if you guys want to call in for a future episode the phone number is 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can email an audio file to meganpodcast at gmail.com and um and um yeah

we're gonna we're gonna give some advice and we also have melissa here as always hello first of all great outfit today i feel like you're gonna get hot it's you this is my one and first second episode i just take this off so i don't have to worry about changing my outfit do you know how much time i fucking spent today being like how could i get away with wearing overalls and i was like this is so like i like think in the morning i'm like yeah it's gonna be fine i'll change out of overalls into a totally different outfit i want nothing more i want nothing more than to get away with wearing overalls with no shirt you could underneath just just you know the hipster just you could do that with like a piece of like hay in your mouth what is it no no just not even just

like a gold chain and like a rolex and just overall you walk in a room people like okay i'm gonna take that guy's advice for sure hey do it for an audition one time i saw a girl that i know show up at an audition and she was dressed crazy like harajuku like meets my little pony like absolutely insane like a look like she was wearing like a pastel wig and i was like oh my gosh like we must not be going out for the same thing and she goes oh no blah blah blah and i was like whoa oh i didn't get the memo she goes oh no i just like thought i'd make a bold choice and i was like that's bold all right boldest i even find a lot of the hip fashion stuff to be a bit wild what's the big uh company with like the gold chains in print on the it's not gucci it's ed

hardy oh versace that even i see that and i go i can't believe that that's over twenty dollars goodbye i mean it blows my mind i know but it blows my mind because it's hideous which one no uh um yes i know what you're talking about uh has the great actor darren chris is in it yep it's the ryan murphy show martin is in it nice i keep thinking behind the candelabra but it's not no um yeah it's ryan murphy yeah yep uh um oh my god american nope no that's american horror story i know who killed versace or something like that yeah but it has like an overarching title for each one oh wow podcast everyone who's listening to this right now is fucking screaming in their cars really like i know right i can name some obscure shit i was too

it's american crime story american crime story i was on the right i wouldn't know really i didn't know that at all the first one was the oj simpson one and then the second one was are we thinking the same thing i'm thinking that the versace who killed versace it's called the assassination of who's the guy that played versace's killer he's great darren chris yes darren chris he's great yeah that's amazing crazy i didn't know that they were all connected and they were all the same like series wow i auditioned for one of his shows ryan murphy show that audition oh we talked about it yeah yeah bombed as in good bomb or bad bad bad big bad bomb it's okay they went for a name so i'm cool with it guess what what this is our 50th episode our 50th episode see i knew that

because i came early and we talked about all these things because you got here fucking before me uh the like i said the only reason i came in is because candle has the same cars yeah you're like hey look oh becky's here i'm not gonna look no do you see how much cleaner her car was that should have been a tip off that i didn't look at it no i didn't look in or no even on the outside except it rained so my car is looking a little better um but yay guys for our 50th episode this is exciting very exciting congratulations oh my god think of all the people that we've helped and or hurt that's a lot yeah have you ever forgotten um have you guys gotten customer testimonials yet we do we have people and what's the average um what do you mean we'll have people call back

like hey this was your advice this is what i did or just like a an update to the situation i'll be real we got a lot of stubborn bitches who will dm me be like hey thanks so much listen to the podcast did not take any of your advice but it worked out anyway no no a lot of times like totally blew up in my face but i'm good with it but i think that sometimes it's nice because i think like i don't know i think regardless of what decision you make i think talking about it with somebody will make you make a decision but i think even if someone like you you go against what they're saying if you don't ask anybody i think you just kind of put off it but it makes you do it i have a completely different theory on that okay i think this podcast is a total oxymoron

because whenever people in general like we're kind of narcissistic a lot of people are whenever Whenever I ask advice, nine times out of ten, I know the decision that I want to make, that I need to make, and the decision that's going to screw me over. Usually in the back of my head, and I already know what I'm going to do. You want confirmation on just which one of them. And so when you ask advice to someone, a lot of the times you're just asking for someone to back up what you already think about the situation. Okay, let's go. Hi Megan, I am 23 years old, and I have been dating my boyfriend for over two and a half years now. we just moved in together um everything's good my main issue with him though which is why i'm

calling is that he is the definition of a mama's boy and i just want to say a little disclaimer that i know it's his mom and she gave birth to him and she loves him more than i can understand because i don't have a child and i love that he is close with his family and i truly truly mean that that is not the issue the issue is just that she treats him like he is seven years old like buying him random stuff all the time like toys and knickknacks and childish blankets and just things that he does not need especially being a 24 year old he really does not need and she just likes to be involved in every aspect of our relationship and I just feel like as a mom you shouldn't want to be involved in your child's relationship and that shouldn't even be in your

mind about what your child is doing with their significant other and it's just to the point now where I am so uncomfortable even being around her because of the way she treats him like I don't even want to see her at this point and it's just weird to me to see someone who you have sex with on a day-to-day basis be treated like they are seven years old it just really creeps me out and he's not an only child so that can't be the excuse he has a brother who's a year older than him and his brother's treated that way too but not to the extent that he is and I also must say that his mom made him and his ex-girlfriend in high school break up because his mom did not like her for the simple fact that she took away too much time from her so she was the reason that

him and his ex-girlfriend in high school broke up which is a huge red flag to me and I know that she loves me and he reminds me all the time that she loves me but she and she does a lot for me and I appreciate that but that's also to the point where I'm like please like I don't need you to do all this stuff for me and get me all this stuff because I am a very independent person I love my mom to death but my mom knows that I am an adult and I can do everything on my own and she is not like that at all and I had to learn to be independent at a very young age because my dad passed away when I was 16 so it's our lifestyles are just very different and I don't know how to go about it I don't want to offend him by bringing it up but I need him to be more

independent i don't want to be married with kids and he still calls her when he has a stomach ache your boy's got a jewish mother she's a jewish mother coming from a guy with a jewish mother kind of yeah my mom's the least the evil when it comes to jewish mother um okay so who who who who it's a really tough situation it is i think i say that every time that i hear a voicemail by the way it's a really tough situation we gotta preface it with that validate your feelings first um i will say definitely have been there 100 have been there um and have been there with not just one time there's and we literally talked about this two days ago we did there's a there is always a struggle with boyfriends and husbands moms and

their like girlfriends and wives like that is a tale as old as time it is and i can say that from my personal experience with having dated and also with my friends and hearing that and like it is I've never I do not have a single female friend or male friend that has been like yeah no there has never been any tension at any point with my mom and my girlfriend or between me and my boyfriend's mom like it's just it's such a such a such a common thing I will say it also you got the worst of it it is primo especially bad mothers of two boys and the younger boy like that's just a blatant fact that's almost all of my friends that is their situation it's really hard and as much as it's like you don't want to offend him and gosh i just i feel for you like this is i

totally understand this you there's a okay like you obviously don't want to get between like your boyfriend and his family but ultimately you have to choose what you need to do for your happiness because yeah it's not going to that's if that's something that you don't want for your future then yeah you need to you need to put your foot down but also no matter what you say it's not going to change a hundred percent like you need to be both of you guys need to figure out how to kind of get be be like 40 happy with it because right now it seems like you're zero percent happy with the situation and his mom feels like she's super satiated and it's probably feel i mean granted maybe she probably only feels like she's getting 90 like it might not even be enough for

her but you need to get to a point where you're both compromising on certain things and saying there's a way to say it that's not gonna be like nasty but no matter what i don't see him taking it well every time i've talked to a boyfriend about like no the involved the like the the involvement of their their like parents or like their i mean it's really never the dads or like my high school boyfriend's mom fucking hated me and like she liked me when we were just friends like we like she like i was one of the favorite kids and all that stuff and as soon as we started dating she fucking hated me and it became this thing that like it was so passive aggressive and difficult and like i've experienced that like later on in life and things like that and it's

something like it's just going to be there but you have to say at least what I would do and what I've done in the situation has been like here's the thing it's like I'm not comfortable with there are certain parts of our relationship that I want to be just for us and when we like because you said that you want to be with him and like you all of that stuff and like and when we raise a family and like we do all of those things like I need to know that us as a family unit is going to be a priority and that i'm not just going to be an addition onto this because he's not experiencing the same thing from your family and all of that and i think you also need to say it's not necessarily she's like it's like don't be like it's it's not about your mom not liking me

it's not about that i know all of this comes from love it's just i need the boundaries to feel safe in this relationship and that i can trust you and that there's not another person involved in every aspect of our relationship right uh i totally agree with all that i think what you can do um i think there's a tricky line here there's a there's a very um gray kind of boundary line where it becomes uh hey this is my issue with how you're reacting to things and then it becomes this is my attack on your family which is not what it is but i guarantee you that's how it would be taken and just because I've been in a situation similar to that. I think you can address the things

that directly affect you and him together. I don't think that it's necessarily appropriate to address how he is with his mother because that is kind of none of your business as long as it, I mean, not none of your business, but it's really none of your business because she's known him a long time. She watched him come out of her.

And there's a certain- How does she close her eyes? Yeah, there's a certain connection that mother-sons have. I mean, all parents and kids, but mother, son specifically. And yes, you may deem it in a certain way inappropriate and it very well could be. There is a boundary line. I think you have to deem what affects you directly and address that.

So maybe you have an issue with maybe him being immature in some ways. That's what you can address rather than her buying him gifts and things like that. That's kind of a might be a him and her thing. Yeah. So I don't really know where the specific thing is. Only you know. but um yeah it's uh you just got to be careful because there is a very close relationship and you can quickly alienate yourself from the family by saying something wrong yeah so it's it's um

i think that's a really good point because i think that's that's exactly what you need to do is figure out what it is exactly that is seeping into your relationship just making a blanket blanket statement although it may make you feel better is not going to actually solve any problems and he's not going to see eye to eye with you on that because this is all he's ever known no i wouldn't either yeah and also the the growing up thing and like whether it's like the simple stuff of like oh he's constantly calling ernie has a stomach ache and it's like that immaturity thing he'll probably hopefully grow out of that eventually and especially when he will hopefully become a father like we'll need to like understand how to step up to the plate and things like that

but anything exactly like you're saying anything that's directly affecting your relationship bring it up and maybe start off by bringing that up as an issue with like as being like hey let's talk about this issue and then then from there bring in and like yeah well it feels like then then bring in the like the mom aspect don't be like hey we need to sit down and talk about your mom and your relationship with that if you bring it with like like let's say like he he um he calls so i'm one of the issues that i faced with an ex was that my my he he would he would end up calling his parent his mom and his parents and tell them things before me and like so they knew everything and so then I was and it'd be like oh I already talked about all this with like my parents and I already

like did all this stuff like did I not like clue you in and fill you in on these like life decisions that I was making and I was kind of just like what like why are we dating if like you're calling your parents when we're in college to tell them all of these different things versus like I'm like here with you on a day-to-day basis and like I don't get clued in so it kind of for me I kept saying I was like I just feel like left out of this relationship and so that can be a way to like ease in and bring it in in that sense um or if you feel like she's too heavily involved in like knowing too much about your life um and you can say things like that because i think if you can tie it you need to tie it to him like to you guys in a way that he's gonna it's not fucked up

you have to tie it to you guys in a way where he can he's not gonna feel as attacked and he's gonna see your point because i think the biggest issue here with mama's boys is when you finally talk about it and then they go to their moms to talk about it oh and yeah that's that's that's the worst thing oh my god and then that because i mean imagine being a here's the thing is imagine being a mother yeah you have a son uh very close with that son and then all of a sudden he's dating a girl and then all of a sudden he says hey look we got to really kind of back this off of course you'd be like whoa whoa wait a second here you just met her yeah and now all of a sudden this has this whole relationship has to change now also here's something that i like to think about

and this sort of thing what is her name i'm sorry i don't know we don't do names oh okay sorry good uh whoever you are uh think about like this is a new situation for you right this is a new situation for mom too there's no handbook on parenting and how you're supposed to be with with the spouse of your son or your daughter like there's there's no handbook so everyone's learning this together which is why it's it can be such a clusterfuck sometimes um but i think that if you see this relationship with his mother affecting maturity in his life i think that for me in my relationship i would take that as yes you care about seeing me do well in the future you you care about seeing me live a healthy and strong life so if i'm you and i say hey look this relationship with your

mother i feel like you're maturing a little bit slower than you could uh instead of uh this is i don't want to be dating some guy that's getting gifts from his there's a different way to kind of word your issues without um insulting him and making him feel you know emasculated which is not cool you know yeah because no guy wants to hear like your mom's buying you gifts like what what are you doing yeah you know you get automatically defensive but yeah and i think bring it up once first and then kind of wait and see because like that's been the thing that i've dealt with was like bringing it up and getting like hit back with like the whole like what are talking about no like that's my mom like why you blah blah blah and then and it was like no you're

wrong you're wrong you're wrong and then taking a little while and being like okay fine cool maybe i'm wrong and then having them like step back to the situation and be like you know i actually kind of see what you're talking about because also no offense um and you're not like this because we've talked about this before but i also think there's this like extreme like naive night oh my god naivety naivety to guys that they think that like their moms and their girlfriends get along so well like it's this thing of being like yeah no everything's great we want it so bad so so bad so you don't perfect world is mom and people that you really love it's like why wouldn't you love each other it's like when your friend starts dating somebody that you fucking hate and you're

like how does this make sense because i love you so much like why would you love there's also a biological thing there i think yeah there's a sort of like mother has to release this sort of like this is this is her guy this is the person that she's molded and she's got to kind of let go and let let some other woman come into his life and and territorial oh it's it's it's primal absolutely super territorial and so i think like the the when you kind of plant that seed to him that it's not a character attack on her or on him or anything like that it's just being like this is really textbook that this doesn't always like this there's always a little bit of tension here and you're not going to see that because you love us both and you would never prioritize one over the

other and you want us to get along just as well but like there are certain things that like make me feel like i'm as much as in your eyes like we are like the same kind of level in like different ways there's certain ways where i'm feeling like this relationship is having an effect on ours when it shouldn't at all because the quote i've said is like you don't fuck your mom like you have to have you might not but oh gross Oedipus yeah but no but do you know what I mean I'm like maybe he wants that but here's the thing I'm like you have to like if you one relationship can't trump the other they're different relationships I'm like unless you're gonna fuck your mom like you have to be like you're you're no matter whoever the girl is whether it's like you or anybody else

like these people you want this both in your life you want a partner and you want to have your mom like it's not like one's gonna win which I think is also like a hard thing and also it's a long road it's never going to be perfect yeah i've told you i've told you this it's never going to be perfect all you can do is address each situation and do your best to uh navigate it according to what you believe in and what you believe is going to be the best for the family all around um but here's the thing you've been dating 20 uh two years you're his mother's known him for 23 years so it's like and and known him known him changed his diapers so there's a certain bond there that you have to be respectful of because although you may think you know the relationship you may not

you know so that's that's the thing that i say to that and then the stuff i say that but that's it's not a fun situation but it's a situation i think everyone goes through to a degree so there's a lot of movies mom monster in law it's yeah there's that's the whole thing but and she's a jewish mother she is or xanax that too just saying that could work yeah prescription get a prescription though don't yeah okay be safe children she's not a kid so we're fine okay on to the next hey Megan I am 21 I have been dating this guy for almost a year now obviously we're sexually active and I am just curious if there's anything I could do or he can do with the issue of him finishing fast now we have talked about it

and he can get really insecure about it, although I don't mind if he finishes fast. But I know he gets really insecure, so I'm, like, curious if there's anything that I can do to help him last longer or anything he can do to himself to help that. He has told me that, you know, jacking off does help a little bit, and I can't really do anything because he gets so excited and even maybe a blowjob will kind of finish him off. So I'm curious what you have advice on. So hopefully I can get some help.

Bye. Get them mouth skills going, boy. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was also going to say, I'm not, if you're watching the video, I'm not laughing at you at all. I was just saying that this is, so my friends and I have talked about this because like every I mean I've never been with a guy that at least once hasn't been like oh my god

I'm so sorry I'm so embarrassed it should be flattering and it but the problem is if it happens yeah all the time yeah if it's like the first couple times you're like oh no no don't apologize like I just feel so fucking good about my like it's first time I slept with this one girl when I say 20 seconds like no I told you this story and that for me that was something that I'd never experienced before and I was I was like give 10 minutes you'll lie and then just and I was like oh my god this is and it's really embarrassing yeah um but that's where round two comes in yeah yeah and he needs to yeah he he needs to get good at going down on you and he might be but i mean i i always recommend the book she comes first that needs to be the men like the mentality where

it's like you guys can like fool around a little bit and then like pause like he'll go down on you fool around a little bit like continue with that kind of thing um and not just like hop into like immediately having sex and have like sex be the finisher you know like have that be like the dessert like penetration i don't want to call that because that's not just sex that's um yeah that's a that's a really tough one uh i have not directly experienced except for that one time except for that one time for sure no it's happened before definitely but it's not an ongoing i would say because you've got something that helps is like the classic before the date clear the pipes no that about baseball that doesn't work because you're thinking about baseball and then you're

like ball like balls are deep oh my god has told me this before yeah he's like baseball i think i think jujitsu is for me consciousness where he's like no there's few things that i can think about that it's like going from being like no this nope this makes me think of this nope this makes me think of this nope this makes me think of this yeah ultimately um you just gotta find other things or um i mean practice makes perfect and the more times you have sex the better i think it it gets over time or the worse it gets i don't know but yeah i i hope he is going down on you that should be a definite a definite yeah um first decision first uh what a plan of action yeah yeah first course of action that always yeah first course first course first

course a um yeah i would i would i would i would say that and then get the book i mean if you feel uncomfortable talking about it i yeah i mean don't don't i would i would say don't feel like no this sucks what are you doing like don't yeah don't bring it up directly grab get this is my advice i've done this advice so much times buy the book it's on amazon um buy the book read it leave it by your bedside table 100 read it before bed do they live together did they say that she didn't say okay well we'll read it around him or have it like fall out of your bag or talk about it with your friends really loudly around him the amount the first time that i bought this book we'll look he mott's immediately picked up the book that night and then the next day i was like oh wow

um did you read the book uh i was like no you 100 totally just you know you know tapping into my biologically exactly he's like yeah i'm just like yeah i'm feeling venom and i was like it's a tuesday night cool thanks um but the same thing then afterwards i remember i brought it to set because i wanted to show yeah i remember i think i wanted to show tyler was reading it tyler and then immediately like at lunch i'm reading it yeah it's fascinating and then some other guy is reading it so it's like it made its rounds so quickly like it's a papaya on the cover that like clearly it's sexual and it says she comes first on it so it's a good enough hint that he can read that and kind of be like oh okay because i think suggesting to him being like hey um why don't we

why don't you just like go down on me but like there's something to round two it's like you know you just maybe maybe prep accordingly you know like we're gonna do this first so that we'll do this in the middle and then by the time that's over yeah this will be ready again coming that fast i feel like it'll get speedy like he's got a probably quick recovery i would think so yeah i think so yeah there's also like those extends condoms what desensitize you a little bit oh that's true too no i was gonna say there's there's there's like so obviously there's different textures of condoms and things like that i don't know if you guys are using protection you probably are use protection sorry definitely use protection um there are thicker condoms that that desensitize

a little bit so you don't feel as much um i think they're they're fucking sacrilegious i think they're the worst thing in the world they don't cut your circulation off but they're no no you don't feel the sensation yeah so it's it's like it's like wearing a rubber glove and then washing your hands in the sun with a very thin glove or a thick glove to where you can you can feel the pressure of the water but you can't feel yeah maybe he can work his way from no i was gonna say that's actually that's a really good point that's probably a direct thing that might be might be better get him a little tipsy saran wrap a little rubber band and saran wrap Oh, God.

Cockering. Yeah. That will not help. No, not at all. Not at all. Okay. On to the next one. Yeah.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We're both 21 and we're very open sexually. We're both bisexual, except for he's not out because he doesn't feel like he needs to be. so the other night he confessed to me that over a year ago he went on grinder and he met up with a man within walking distance after one night i didn't feel like having sex he went on grinders he met up with this guy and they jerked each other off and it took him a year to tell me like i said i'm very open sexually and i am very like open with exploring your sexuality because because he had only been with me sexually before.

So if he would have just told me, I would have been okay with it, and we could have set our boundaries. But the fact that he didn't tell me is what disturbs me. And then he also told me that he had messaged one of our friends who is gay and likes my boyfriend and told him about this, and that he said that if your girlfriend isn't accepting of this, then she's wrong and that she's mean and that you shouldn't be with her. But the thing is, he has never told me, and that's the part that frustrates me.

And apparently with that friend, they have also been sexting a lot and sending each other photos of their dates. So I'm just kind of in a weird space where I would have been okay if he had told me, but it makes me uncomfortable that he didn't and that he took a year to tell me because he was scared that I was going to be upset, which to me, if you're scared that your partner is going to be upset, then that's a problem um so yeah i uh just really don't know what to do some of my friends say it's cheating and i sort of agree but at the same time if you would have just told me i would have been

okay with it it's just the fact that he didn't tell me and it also makes me wonder what else is he hiding uh this sounds like a communication issue because it all even though you say like Like, yes, I'm cool with this. If it wasn't a spoken about thing, like we all need to understand what the boundaries of our relationship is, especially nowadays with all this, you know, there's polyamory,

things like those people have open relationships. It needs to be a very specific conversation of like, this is what I'm comfortable with. Anything outside of this, I'm not comfortable with and I'm not in for. There needs to be consent in a relationship in regards to everything. Correct.

Being like, I sign up for this. This is what I expect to get out of it. The problem is, it sounds like there was no conversation like that. So he felt like it was cheating, but maybe he thought that it was OK with you. And then because it was with the opposite sex, he maybe felt like there was a little bit more leeway where it's not infringing on what you guys have. So I think in a way, both sides are like he's he could be justified if there was no conversation. And that's the vibe you put out that you're OK with things like that.

I mean, it's all specific to your relationship. I mean, you guys have to deem what you find cool and what you're not cool with, you know. um but you know i i totally understand that him not telling you for a year um also it's probably a hard thing for him to be dealing with like as as you just mentioned he's not out to a lot of people he knows um so it's definitely cheating though yeah i mean that's don't don't get me wrong but here's the thing is you don't know the conversations they have like as she said she would have been totally okay with it but but i'm just saying that if those are vibes put off before then if if i'm a guy and i understand that you're cool with it and then i do something

stupid it doesn't change the fact that it's stupid but it definitely i didn't feel like it was a deal breaker no but vibes and a conversation are so different right i'm just like that's the thing like you can put out there like i can put like if we think about this like i'm like i am so i'm so cool with people in open relationships that's totally awesome i'm completely supportive of that and if i put out that vibe that i'm like completely chill with that and then mots gets a side girlfriend and he's like well no i mean you've always said that you're okay with that but it's like but that's not what i want like i can be totally okay with something and support other people's decisions and still not want that for myself like i don't love chocolate

but that doesn't sound like her based on the based on that voice it sounds like it if it were a conversation it sounds like that would be the way but there was no conversation that's my point and that's the thing it's like if there's no conversation i think it is totally cheating i think absolutely the first thing that i like you seem oh my god i just like want to give you a hug because you seem you're being so fucking mature about this and like such the bigger person when you're not being met with that at all and even just saying like he hooked up with this guy because like i didn't want to have sex that night that's you didn't come up with that like he told you that and that's a justification and this whole thing is a justification and I am all for

exploring your sexuality and that's what he's doing but you didn't consent to be in a relationship in which he's going to do that and yeah the fact that this is what he's told you and this gosh it's so fucking hard to get this through to guys and like this is like my number my number one thing is honesty and all of that and it's I will never and I've said this to like moths and every guy i've ever dated where i'm like i'm never mad at you for what you do i am mad when you lie about it if you had told me you could have done something so so so terrible if you tell me about it that night or you tell me what happened and you apologize we can work through that but if i find out on my own then my brain goes well if this is what i'm finding out what are you what's in your

secret fucking deep dark vault that you're hiding from me you don't want to be right exactly but i mean it's just it represents a level of like mistrust and that's something that I have found really really really hard to build back and especially with this wasn't an isolated incident like he then was like sexting your friend which first of all fuck your friend that's like that's so fucked up like that's that's not being a team player for anyone and like I've I've definitely been guilty of the fact that like I have I have friends I have friends who are who are queer and when they are like hooking up with somebody who is like in the closet and like has a girlfriend my automatic like instinct is to be like oh fuck that sucks and i feel like i'm giving them more

leeway but i'm like no you know what like you're still aiding and someone cheating and that's not okay but like whatever your sexual orientation is it's not totally right and like i'm still it doesn't make it any better yeah although it may feel better like i said it may for him he justifies it as oh opposite sex because you feel guilty like there's a there's that there's you can have this bias of being like yeah well this is a struggle like that he's not out and he's like dealing with all that stuff but like this is your feelings and everything like that and that still doesn't make it okay i think you need to have a conversation with your friend about it immediately and i need you need to have a conversation with your boyfriend and be like hey i would have been

okay with all of this and i think right this i don't see this ending here i see this as kind of like he really and he's it's totally deserved that he wants to explore his sexuality and figure all of that out and I think that this is the time for him to do that but it's not the time for you to be there waiting while he does that because it's just always gonna have started from a lie do you know what I mean like it's never gonna have started from like a conversation that you two had of him exploring this and you being supportive it's gonna have started from a lie of him hiding it from you and I think you need to be like take your time do your thing I'm gonna go do my thing like let's have some time apart and then yeah sure maybe you'll get back together maybe all of that but I

i don't think that if this is what you found out or he told you it's not the worst stuff it's all it you know it can always get worse like that whole phrase like oh it's only up from here no no no it can always get worse we are deviant creatures men sexually deviant yeah very sinister and deviant um it's creepy as fuck it is um but it is kind of true uh i had a i had a thought and i oh oh um and in the words of one of my favorite jujitsu instructors you done fucked up a long time ago no in the sense that that's something that i think we all learn the hard way at some point is for next time there needs to be a discussion of boundaries in the relationship pretty early on of what we're comfortable with you know that that that kind of common thing that

when you're on a date and the guy is like hey i don't want anything serious or the girl says hey I don't want, or Hey, I'm into this to figure out where we go. And like that, that there's communication is so important because just trying to pick up on someone's intentions or what they're cool with or not based on what their actions are. It's not effective because we all, we all jump all over the board with how we act and what we say. And, um, it needs to be a conversation that being said, uh, I don't think what he did was necessarily correct, but you have to determine And whether that's something that you are comfortable dealing with either in the future or, you know, if you think that he's not going to do it again, that's just boundaries that you need to set for yourself. Because that's advice that based on our own relationships, we'll give the advice that applies to us.

You only know what you're comfortable with and what you believe in. So, yeah, you got to kind of trust your gut and and go where you go with it. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if she's hooking up with girls, too. that was gonna be my question telling him yeah that was that was what what i said early on where you go we don't know the whole situation because yeah what their monogamy i'm saying exactly and maybe maybe it's okay if she she hooks up with girls but not guys like there's no way to know unless she's sitting right here and you know so um but yeah i also think that yeah they're just

they're needed to have been a conversation and you have to determine now is it too late to have that conversation or can you still have that conversation and could these actions could he still do this again and could you be okay with it or does this leave a bad enough taste in your mouth that it's like you know i would have been cool with it if this had been brought up originally but i'm not going to be able to be cool with it so you need to not do it and then i also like i as much as i like i just don't see that being really like a huge likelihood like i think if he's like he's clearly needs to figure out his own stuff right now um and if you're not cool with him doing that i think he's going to probably do it regardless so absolutely that was going to be

my thing is it is it's kind of like a uh it's a terrible analogy you know the little uh table cloths under the tea uh arrangement and then people pull it out really quick in the tea and then trying to put that blanket back yeah you know what i mean i like that you know what i mean No, it's like once you pull it out, it's really, you might be able to do it, but it's really difficult once that door, my parents always, growing up, we had this analogy that there's certain things in life that once you open the door to, you can never fully shut it. You can kind of close it and you can get it cracked, but that door is always open, you know, and it's always, it's very difficult to close. And that's one of those things that once you do it, it's kind of in your brain and now it's easy to justify doing it again because, oh, hey, I've already done it, you know, whether the boundaries are what they are. so uh and also trust is like that where you if you lose trust it's really difficult to build it back up yes you can but it takes a long time and is that something you're willing to stick out

that's going to be some uh decision that you have to make yeah i love when i look around i see all the girls in the room going just yeah but god it'll it'll get better and it will get worse before it gets better but um you gotta just make those decisions because like sitting and waiting around is not going to do anything except make you like fucking hate him i want to strangle him been there okay just staring at him yeah fuck you stop breathing plug his nose i used to do that with my cauliflower he snored and so i would just like and then yep i've been there too oh god okay man he just kicks me time for a break okay we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be back guys okay everybody hey it's me again surprise surprise she's back this episode of

don't blame meme pod is brought to you by me and what am i doing my own penis what should i be doing should i be slurping or slurping my lightly caressing it with your tongue i'm lightly caressing my penis with my tongue it's just it's just supposed to licking your arm realizing it's not loud enough being like i need to breathe i need to get out of it i know there's not really like a tongue that's not really no licking that's sucking yeah you're right licking you can't really make a noise i'm gonna we should stop trying it's pretty fucking gross um well guys yeah hey what's up look at this nice little ad break for me to talk about us great awesome cool um if you guys are new to

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want one how how how pg would you want the merch yeah do you want it about therapy and masturbation or do you want it to be like a little less about therapy and masturbation because we've we've got some ideas we do a couple of which involve therapy and masturbation just feel like yeah it'd be it'd be fun so let us know what you would like to see is it shirts is it pop sockets is it pop socket notepads don't blame me you said that to your pay it's like a stamp that you just put on every fucking paper you have and you submit it at the end it's like don't blame me maybe that'll help your grade probably not i had a dream about college last night why don't i remember it weird it just like made me think of college okay well cool guys back to

the episode okay guys we are back from break we're ready to hop into more calls let's do it hey megan i'm 22 years old and i recently got out of a really bad relationship in june um i met a guy after that who was divorced around the same time that i broke up with my ex he's also 22 um we've basically moved in with each other and we're actually going to be getting our own apartment together in november um we've also recently discussed getting married so here's a little bit of a backstory obviously he's been divorced um i've been engaged i was actually supposed to be married next week to my ex um we've discussed this we both know about each other's um exes and relationships and all um but I don't want to rush things I do very much want to get

married to him and I told him um you know I'm fine with it being sooner than later but I definitely You don't want to rush him into things, especially since he has actually been through the process of being married and fell in love with someone and leaving them. I was just wondering if you could offer some advice on how to handle this, how to discuss with him maybe more seriously, and what you think we should do. Oh, my God. Honey, you need to slow your fucking roll. Slow the fuck down. Yeah. I don't know.

How long have they been dating? june she that's when she broke up with her ex-fiancee in june and they met around the same time so slow the fuck down a lot of now now i grew up in a very christian family which is very like kind of old school when it comes to like you meet someone you get married things like that so i completely understand if you've grown up in a family like that where that is the next step or that is you know la is a is a place or southern california in general is a pretty liberal place in a place where marriage is becoming less of a necessity, which is interesting because you put more priority

on where the relationship is. And if you get to that point, yes, there's a lot of benefits to being married, but it's not a necessity. It's not something that you have to do in this amount of time. And this is my opinion. I completely understand everyone thinks differently. So I don't think it's a rushing thing.

And it's this sort of thing like, okay, we were talking about this the other day. We're dating a year. Okay, next step is moving in. next step you don't everybody's steps are different and you don't need these steps um every couple's different now i understand there's there's money benefits to living together and all these things but it shouldn't necessarily make your relationship stronger right away like let it progress naturally uh there are a lot of other life factors that happen in addition to um just

the relationship so i understand you know moving in together and things like that but slow down i mean you're 22 and and everyone that i've talked to i'm 21 so i'm young but most of my friends are older like one of my good friends i just worked with him his name is jeff he uh he's 40 you're 46 yeah jeff's awesome leo's and i love talking to people like him where he's like dude the guy that i was at 21 yeah it's not the guy was at 25 not the guy that was at 30 and it's not like you ever hit that point of reaching your maximum maturity it's ever changing so you can't you can't possibly fucking know what you want at 22 you can't and i'm the first one to say that i know what i want right now but i know it's not going to be what i want necessarily in a relationship

or just life happens and and the goal is to be open to maturing and things like that and just don't get locked down so early if you don't have to you know um but again to each his own yeah i think if anything you both of you have been in this situation before and i think that that should be kind of like a a warn word of caution to be like let's actually slow it down and you were saying like i don't really want to rush things but i'd rather do it sooner than later it sounds like you are it sounds like you want to you're on this maybe kids maybe maybe kids are something that you you know maybe that's the driving factor is you want to have kids and i know here's the thing that's not how you and i think but a lot of people think that way in the sense that that's

their life goal but it's not bashing it no not at all i think there's it's great but at the same time if you are already engaged to somebody and he was already in love with somebody you both already yeah married you both already saw that future with somebody else and it crashed and burned and you were done and you were done moving on to someone a month later like how do you know that's not going to happen again correct the only seems like a bit of a prevailing theme here yeah and like you don't want to be that you don't want to be the ross of your friend group like friends been divorced that many times and i will say like moths and i our relationship we it is we just we just passed our three-year anniversary and our relationship the first year we're dating is

completely different than the second year and completely different than the third year none is better or worse but also like this timeline thing you don't have to exactly you're saying you don't have to check those boxes off and i've talked about my friends about moving in with their significant others that i was like honest to god it's not something why yeah it's not it's not a checklist thing that you're like okay well now i've been dating for two years we have to live together for this many years before we get engaged i'm like no you don't have to live with every boyfriend you've ever had no for that i mean you should live with the person that you're like you know i really think it's gonna be you not be like hey let's live together and see maybe

it'll be you because it creates a codependent mentality which is is is unhealthy to um everyday life if you're completely codependent now it's a-okay to be codependent on someone for situations in things like that but your goal as a person is to be self-sufficient independent and be able to work for yourself make make your own money you know i i guarantee you that kind of living will make give you the most confidence yeah right you move into someone pretty much move in with someone prematurely uh it creates this codependent mentality where very old-fashioned now uh where man may make the money and it creates this kind of dynamic in my opinion that could be not beneficial to yeah growing and how most people what happened in the like getting over

like a broken engagement you haven't had any time to heal like there's no there's that none of that has happened yet like there isn't any of that and i don't know whose side it was on that the engagement was broken whether it was like mutual or maybe you guys had been engaged for a while but i just think there's never any harm in waiting any longer at all at all and like maybe you're not having sex maybe there's other factors that make you want to get together quicker but if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you want to spend like 75 years with this person four years two years a year is so small in the grand scheme of things if you can't wait a year to have sex with somebody or you can't wait a year before you get married and it's the

like being like we have to get married now otherwise it's not worth it then it's more about the actual idea of getting married than it is about that person because if you want to be that person forever your relationship with them and your love is only going to like grow bigger and stronger and get better and you'll go through a hard time and stuff but i mean you're only gonna you're gonna continue to be together but if you if it's like if you don't like tie this down in this amount of time that i'm done how much do you really care about that person that being said that's the side that i agree on i'm just gonna speak the other side and think about it this is a very new mentality what we're talking about grandparents i bet all of your grandparents got

married at 19 20 years old and stayed married for 50 or 60 years yeah that's just the way things were done that's very old-fashioned they did not get divorced don't know if they were happy no i know but i'm saying that what we're pitching which is like wait a couple years that's a very this is a very new new age kind of thinking which is i agree with because i'm about my happiness i want to be happy um and but back in the day people just made it work so i'm saying that there's two sides like you may be very old-fashioned in that sense and go you know what i'm gonna cling to someone but based on the fact that you both have already almost i mean he's sounds like he's had a failed marriage and then you have uh almost got married it probably isn't a great thing because

it sounds like a failing theme here i would just be so careful because of that and also do if rushing into getting married then you're like are you cool if like he wants to get divorced immediately like after you never want to talk somebody into doing something that they're not ready or comfortable with yet and i've said this before like any next step in a relationship and a relationship in general it's so much more about you than it is about like the right person it's about am i ready to be married am i wanting this if he doesn't want that no matter how fucking great he is or how much he loves you it's not gonna work because that's not what he wants and he's not going to prioritize that if that's not his goal totally i don't agree with i had a family

member that got married at 19 divorced at 21 and then remarried at 26 been married for 30 years so I mean, you do never know, but be wise about it. Don't rush into something. It's not worth it. And I understand the only, in my opinion, the only pressing factor is like your biological clock. But that, you're 22. That's what I'm saying.

You're 22. And the way technology is going, that clock is getting, I'm saying that clock is getting like higher and higher in age. Yeah. So I'm saying that even that's not a pressing factor. So you can't give me one valid reason you have to get married right now. No, it's true. Or even move in together.

yeah yeah you know you're 22 and also not that i'm saying like maybe if you're if you've really come to terms with like you're i'm not here to like shame anybody or anything like that but like i'm not saying you should feel like embarrassed about like the broken engagement and things like that but like if you if if that didn't affect you and that like you're super cool with like moving on you may not value it that much yeah like it might just mean be more about the title than it is about the relationship exactly and him as a person um and yeah just like fucking wait like wait it out and wait it wait it the fuck in the words of uh maddie my girlfriend's uh mother live your life be young have fun that's a good one you've gotten very good at british accents

nah it was not even very good this is great this was drunken her name's sal we call her big sal it's just her nickname it's just her nickname is very endearing but this is drunken big sal back on the way from the pub just live your life have fun yeah it was good but anyway that's yeah just just be young don't don't rush into anything you know life's too short yeah yeah i fully agree with that life is too short to be stupid which i'm stupid a lot too all the time i am all the time all the time you'd think we'd learn nope never never don't blame me oh don't blame me okay on to the next so i am shaking mad after finding something um in mind my boyfriend's bathroom um i'm 22 he's 24 we've been together for six years we've been living together for

two and then before that like i was like constantly um staying with him long term like between apartments and stuff like that um so we have a very comfortable relationship and we're very open when it comes to sex and blah blah blah and about maybe like a year ago I found a pocket pussy um I had just come back from a trip we had friends over and I saw it you know, upstairs and came downstairs, kind of, you know, whispered in his ear, you know, cool, you know, cool pocket pussy, like glad that you weren't alone while I was gone or, you know, something sarcastic, but didn't really get to say how I felt because of the situation we were in. And then, you know, later on, it just didn't feel like it was appropriate to really

bring it up. Just, I don't know, because I don't know, because I wasn't, it didn't happen then. like I lost my chance it felt like um but then some you know weeks later we talked about it and um he had said that we he bought it while we like broke up which was literally for like two days because he was being an asshole basically um and he told me that it was um on sale and you know all these excuses I went and looked it up like he specifically got like some porn stars model and it wasn't a sale it was like buy the pussy get the butthole for free kind of thing found the butthole piece in you know one of our drawers and I was just grossed out felt so grossed out by it he ended up throwing them away well I did with his permission um and then months

later I found another one like he had bought another one and now it's coming to the point where we haven't had sex in six months but he's using this pocket pussy and it hurts me to my core like I don't care about masturbation I don't care about any of that but he's on a medication that apparently is making him incompetent but really he is able to get it up for this toy and i really don't know how to handle it and i don't know how to go about it so i would really really love your help because i'm just so personally offended that i'm not thinking clearly and i obviously can't really talk to anybody about it because it's personal and it's about you know his personal stuff so oh my god i want to give her a fucking huge hug

no but here's the thing no okay think about the last part of that if you take away the beginning part the last part of it is they haven't had sex in six months because he's saying the medication that he's on is making it so he's like is can't perform or isn't super horny and then she finds this so she's unsatisfied sexually he bought another one he bought a new one so that means that yeah he's probably using it so yeah i guess i'll respond to the first part of it and like toy like who cares about that that's the that's my opinion on that but if it's oh sorry if it's um it's affecting your guys's relationship that's different but um still it's such a minor thing to be able to to be to get in the middle of things it sounds like there's

a lot more going on i think and i think that's the thing like i'm i'm so cool and totally fine with like masturbation and all that stuff and like i'll get myself off i don't care if mods gets himself off but if it's like one of those things of being like oh okay cool like yeah I was on my period or I wasn't horny or anything like that but if it's like oh we're both home we're both down you haven't come on to me and instead you're just gonna do this and then like later on if I'm coming on to you you're like not super in the mood that's the issue and I think that's the issue what's happening here is it's like she if it was a conversation of her being like oh I feel like I have a higher sex drive than you and I really want to have like sex more than you and

all that stuff and he was like yeah no you're right like that's like like fine you're fine go for it and like she has a vibrator and like all of those things versus I mean if so it's no stupid other way if it was like he if he had a higher sex drive than her and was telling her and she was like you know I really can't keep up with that and then he got that and so he was masturbating more because of it but the issue is is that he's they're not having sex because of the medication that he's on that's like affecting his performance but he's able to get off with this which i'm not necessarily saying he's lying about the performance like issues but i completely would also be so offended of being like you can't get hard for like my vagina but you can get hard for a pocket

pussy of a porn star yeah because and and we've had a most controversial episode with taylor which if you ever want to listen to that one you should listen to it it's good well i've heard it i think you haven't yep no i've never never fun to listen to it it's our most controversial episode uh it was about controversial issues in uh the u.s right now i mean it isn't it expands internationally um honestly real quick though what what is the episode about porn oh and if damaging or not oh fascinating yeah i will actually we have a very which was enlightening for both of us because both of us are very like liberal in our views um and we have what we thought was a really common take on it and it's so so so wasn't and so this is kind of i would say is this is where i draw the

line with things like that is it's this is when it's affecting your relationship i don't think masturbation and porn affect relationships all the time i don't think relationships are doomed but i think there's a potential and when there's a potential that doesn't mean you're crazy it doesn't mean you're psycho it like that is something that does need to be addressed then like if it's fucking up your sex life i have a simple fix why don't you use it on him well i mean i know it's not the same but like like in it work it into if it's that big of a thing to him yeah obviously it's an uncomfortable subject to talk about yeah but you like why don't we try working it in like there are options if that's what he's into because everyone's got a weird

kind of everyone's got kinks everyone's got kinks maybe that's his kink so instead of uh and i don't know if this is what you're doing and also i apologize for laughing early on because i i i thought it was going one way and then we flipped around and there there is a legitimate issue so i don't mean to demean your situation um but everyone's got their own kinks and instead of maybe going this is gross it's just a fucking toy this is weird um try to maybe maybe um be a little cooler with it and try work it in together i mean that's well i think it needs to be a conversation between you guys and it needs to be like this is about your sex life together not just him getting off do you know what i mean like it's like if this is the only way that he

can get off and this is a new thing you guys have had sex before this wasn't like you didn't necessarily sign up for a guy who you're not going to be able to have sex with and he's just gonna get off with this yeah so I think if you can like bring it up the conversation and just be like and I just like want to talk about it because like I don't have a penis I don't understand the fact that like for the last six months we haven't been having sex because you can't get it up and for me but you're able to for this so please tell me why because this all and there might be like a super like I would be the exact same way I'd be like just tell me like what it is like I don't because this just makes me feel inadequate and makes like and I want to know

what i can do and if there are other things that like are turning you on that you feel uncomfortable asking for and it's a longer process because medication does affect your your sex drive and things like that but it's also to me that's the confusing part that it's like well if he wants to maybe it's the thing of like he got it and he really his libido is low but or he like gets horny and he's like having a hard time like keeping it up and doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of you and is kind of using this as like a practice thing but you guys need to have that conversation and tell him that it hurts you because i don't think that that was his goal um except granted the fact that he bought it like when they were broken up for two days

to me i'm kind of just like oh shit that's like and then bought another one yeah it's a little shady um sex is something that you have to work at in a relationship yeah it becomes stale it can very easily become stale especially after a year you guys are having sex all the time like it can get stale so it could also be a situation of miss like we said miscommunication when maybe in his mind it's gotten stale and this is something new and it's not cheating but it's it's it's you know it's something new that you know so there might have to be a conversation of like what can we bring to this like like i said use it on him try there's things to do exactly and you're in this situation you are being the bigger person which is not not ideal you'd want ideally both people

to be like hey look this is what's happening let's figure out how to fix this but if you have to put on the shoes for for something and try and fix it if you really want to fix it it's worth trying to incorporate yourself into whatever he's doing yeah um instead of necessarily judging the object and it's like it might feel very shameful as a guy yeah using one of these so mad i would i would be like her i'd be so mad because you'd be frustrated you'd feel inadequate yeah and that's the thing you just make it about you which is i don't there's nothing wrong with that but i think that's just kind of what the automatic instinct is totally and he's not he's not thinking about not in a bitchy way but do you mean like he's not it's not he's not trying to offend you but

that's just where your mind's gonna go it's where my mind would go and i yeah i think you have to have the conversation with him talk about it and see how much he wants to work at your sex life together and if it's like he's kind of like okay with not and being like well this is just what i'm gonna do i also really hope like you're still getting yours like uh and like that's with him because intimacy is super important in a relationship you guys and she said at the beginning that they're open sexually and like all like they're with all that stuff in those conversations so i think you need to have those and i've had those tough conversations with like boyfriends and stuff of being like okay we're gonna talk about your penis right now and like

not in a sexy way and like we're gonna have this conversation it's like people will get uncomfortable but you're otherwise you're just gonna be like so livid and so mad and he yeah i think he also probably is just trying to avoid the conversation you guys need to have it and wherever that goes who knows but like yeah you have to see how much you're he's gonna try and work on your sex life too like including with you you know yeah six months oh my brain goes to this random story that's kind of related not really related it's a bit of a segue uh there's a thing called the tanga egg yeah do you know what it is it's like a little it's like a little silicone why don't we talk about this with me because so uh my pitch would be to get one of those because

it's kind of in between like apocalypse is like this big contraption like that's like kind of a reusable thing uh i was working on a show and as a rap gift one of the actors on the show uh we were all like 16 and then the other guy that was he was probably 35 and he thought it'd be funny to buy us all tang eggs we're all like prepubescent super horny teenagers and so as like a rap gift for one of the seasons he bought us all tanga tanga eggs it's a good rap gift it's a great rap gift except for his uh his now wife uh thought it would be you know polite to go tell our moms that you know that's what we that's what he got us for a rap gif which you're 16 so yeah but but in a way like oh it's it's funny we just got him like masturbation devices and like there's nothing

more shameful than like 16 what'd your mom say uh she never addressed it but one day so one day this is a great this is a great uh thing their catchphrase is uh different strokes for different yolks or different something something along those lines because it's an egg so they say like different strokes for instead of um one day down and my dad's just this classic individual i mean walk through the house butt ass naked cooking things like that and so i was at home and i was like he goes uh do you want to eat sushi or do you want to eat thai and i go oh we'll do thai food and he goes hey you know what they say and as he's walking away naked different strokes for different yolks down the hallway oh my god and i just sat there in my own senses just going oh i'm

gonna kill this oh my god so i thought that was pretty funny that's so good also if you want a visual to what leo's parents look like because it's fucking iconic look on his instagram it's amazing yeah they're two of my favorite people oh they're amazing my birthday happy birthday oh my mom loves you i love your mom loves you i'm upset literally your entire birthday it was like me hanging out my dad just my dad just he knows you and he's just like megan megan who oh megan yeah every time he kept being like he's like kidding megan i know you and then gives me like bogey and i'm like i love this i want them to adopt me it's great okay um well shit i think that's that's that's that question i would love an update on this one selfishly yeah um we would

really love an update on this one so badly uh please and i feel like she was very honest with this so i feel like she was good on you can you do an update like i would love to know what happens and just don't tell your boyfriend you call him to the podcast time for producer's corner which someone who's been on the fucking podcast yet still does not understand the concept of this goddamn podcast. You just know that. I know producers.

You watch This Is Us and you don't listen to the podcast. I stopped. I fell off. Thank God. I fell off. Thank God. I'm on Shameless now.

Yeah, I know. You told me. I fucking love that show. It's wonderful. You are a This Is Us boy because you're cancer. Yeah. Oh, I wept like a...

Loves the feelings. I love the feels. Loves the feels. I love feeling feelings. You do? Yeah. You do? I hate...

Being angry. i hate feelings the problem is whenever i experience emotion like that in a weird way it's satisfactory and it makes me happy and then it automatically cheers me back up so if i'm angry i'll blow out and i'm like oh this feels good and then all of a sudden i'm happy i'm like shit i mean i'm angry i have to be angry so yeah no i hate it's a good problem i think because it all leads back to happiness yeah i don't like feelings that works for you i shut everything down immediately yeah i don't i'll be like whoa i also i get mopey i get a little i get a little and i i that's been an effort of mine is to kill that side of me because

that's not a great quality especially for problem solving in a relationship when you just get quiet i'm punishing you by being quiet and then maddie's like stop being a little bitch just tell me so good so uh this is where melissa will pick either her favorite call a call back or somebody who is calling with their own advice from a previous episode so what do we got we've got somebody calling with advice from a previous episode are they correcting me in a mean way no they're not correcting you they're just sharing their own insight on something so this is from the episode with lily the most recent episode with lily um from the caller that she was muslim and her and her boyfriend have been um dating for four and a half years but they were sneaking

around behind their parents back but they wouldn't get engaged soon yeah so this is someone is her boyfriend not muslim is that no he is but they were dating in high school and then their parents caught them and they were like you have to break up you're not allowed to date got it and then they didn't actually break up and they kept secretly dating all through college now and now they like are talking about engagements and her parents think that she broke up with this guy in high school and that she's single yeah and so she's like how do i i know okay so this is me responding to that muslim girl with a family who doesn't really let her date so here's the thing in islam you're technically not supposed to i guess really date but because of nowadays you

know people you know people want to date who they want to marry so some parents are you know lenient about it but unfortunately some parents are not and this is more of a cultural thing now um so here's the thing I believe that possibly she should say oh yes they did break it off but then um he was in college with her and they accidentally had a class together and she realized she wants to be with him or like date him or whatever and I don't know I feel like that would just be like a really good kind of answer question lie I don't know because I feel like if she were to say she lied about what she did the parents would not be happy they'd be they would just they would just not be happy at all and I don't think they'd be accepting of you know their relationship and I

know like no matter what like you can do whatever you want but it's it's just so controversial because obviously you guys don't get this because it's a cultural thing and it's okay that you don't get it but like it's just things are different and so yeah i think that she should you know try with my answers possibly um yeah sick i love that that was like lily and i's biggest thing we were giving advice we were like we really don't understand like the culture behind all of it and like the rules specifically right so yeah i think that's a good it's a good lie if that's i think if that's like a good in between of that yeah it's it it's so hard because it's a total cultural difference especially between parents like now or in in sort of the culture that most of us grow up

in um it's like once you turn 18 like you do your thing your parents they can have their input and you listen to them or you don't listen to them or it sounds like in that culture it's it's a bit different and and maybe when you get married that's when that sort of opinion uh falls off a bit so it's hard to speak on things like that because yeah that's it's a completely different lifestyle and we only know what we know so um yeah i only know what i would do which is not something that would probably work out for these people's lives i say preserve all the relationships as much as possible and i think knowing hearing that and then hearing something like her input on this culture specifically then you have to make the decision and she should make it and i and i

think it's a good one of being like find the happy medium in which sure maybe everybody's not totally 100 like happy with it and maybe it's not like the total truth but it's going to preserve your current relationship and your relationship with your parents like yeah we had a lot of calls on this um for people calling giving their own insight and one caller did say that part of it is that once he decides that he wants to marry her his parents have to call her parents to ask the permission oh and his parents know and his parents know shit yeah well you know rope them in make bring them flowers make them a nice dinner and be like i need you to do a solid for me i need you to and they'll get i mean they're also hopefully they'll also understand that and be

like could you do me a solid or does he have an older brother who's got a voice well she did say that they had that he had siblings yeah and the siblings yeah tradition's so hard it is tradition's really really difficult you know i think also maybe if you guys just lie well enough maybe it's not maybe you won't fully get away with it but the effort in the lie like so my best one of my totally not the same thing but one of my best friends when we were stealing alcohol when we were a kid like not like from her parents house and her she'll respect your entrepreneurial spirit right she came down the stairs she like was her dad came down the stairs just as she had grabbed a bottle and he like looked at her as she like hit it behind his back and he looked at her and

then he just like continued walking the other way and it was one of those things of being like the fact that she hid it behind her back he's like you know yeah he's like I you know what I'm like she know like I I see the effort she's putting in and he was just like you know I'm not I'm gonna choose to not see this or the same thing of like like when you don't necessarily tell your parents when you lost your virginity but it's like it's kind of one of those things of being like you know what like I'm just gonna choose to not believe this and I'm gonna choose to kind of believe and live in the fantasy that I want to so I think if you can cast a big enough lie and get enough of that like even if they don't fully like see it as being a thing i think you can just like

so megan rink says if you lie big enough um people will believe you yeah no and i think that's a good compromise of being like we met each other like we thought we met each other again in high school and it sounds like they just don't like the relationship though i mean they're not supposed to date at all no it's just there's no dating yeah you you get married got it and so that's the issue is that she's been dating and they already know that they've been dating so they're not gonna let them get married well no and i think i mean based on tradition like you said they could they could still right yeah they could say no you can't get married but i yeah i think if you guys are serious about it so you have to you have to try and i think saying that like we

met again in college and we've kept things really interesting like we've kept things really like casual we're mostly just in friend groups with each other and like we hang out but like we've said that we're both really interested in each other right and um we would really love to alter the truth a bit just just just mold it a little bit yeah right like i like what she said on the phone which was you know we reconnected in college and you know weren't dating but you We were in the same proximity and it's really hard to kind of fight this. And I feel like his parents will understand.

I can't fight this feeling. Ooga, ooga, ooga, shaka. Ooga, ooga, ooga, shaka. Okay. Well, that's our episode. Thanks, Leo, for being on. I'm always bummed when it ends because I just love talking.

No, it was fun. You could listen to them. But I can talk in the car, but no one responds to me. But you can come back as many times as you want. Whenever you want. I'll be back. Yeah, come hang out with some guys.

I just love hanging with you guys and chatting and giving my BS opinion. No, I like it. I like it. It's fun. I feel like it's just a different take and it's a little nutty. It's not as extreme as Melvin's. Was Melvin on? Okay.

Well, thanks guys so much for listening and for watching this episode. If you want to see the video version, it'll be up on the internet soon. And if you haven't subscribed to us on iTunes yet, go and do it. Leave us a review. We love it. And if you want to find out where else you can follow and listen to the show, go to don't blame me dot show yeah that's it i made it it's pretty cute um and you can follow melissa and i on social you can follow leo on social anyone else you want them to follow on

anything you want to follow your band i don't have a band band broke up shut up yeah why didn't you tell me that i don't listen to your podcast you don't know shit about my life wow oh god yeah no that's okay i'm still playing i'm playing tonight actually okay well come out tonight no it's not gonna be tonight when uh this is no but uh follow leo social will be down below yeah petting the couch pet the couch watch us on freakish for two seasons and yeah okay guys uh oh phone call phone number if you want to call in for another words are hard if you want to be a part of another episode call us at 310-694-0976 and if you're international caller email us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com bye

Hey guys, what's up? Megan here. Hello. I'm here to tell you guys that we're, oh, ouch. I don't know what that was. We're going on a little bit of a hiatus up until December. The show's coming back. We're reinventing. We're improving. Things are changing. Good things. If you're afraid of change, don't worry. It's not changing that much. It's changing in a good way. We're having a glow up. It's going to be awesome. So we're still taking calls. We're on this break. So don't worry if your life, you're like, oh my God, Megan, no, stop. Shit's hitting the fan. It's okay. We still got you. We're going to be answering all of those calls from uh when you call in now so keep keep letting life happen and include us

because we'll miss you but we'll be back really soon don't worry don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa demont post production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then you Thank you.