Don't Blame Me! - S2E6: Guest: Christine Sydelko - Wanna Get Pregnant???

Episode Date: June 15, 2018

The hilarious Christine Sydelko is here this week! We’re sharing our advice on dealing with parents that won’t let you grow up, how to help your boyfriend through his body issues, and what to do if your mom’s partner is abusive. We also had a listener share commentary on the teacher that was fired.Follow me: @meghanrienksFollow Christine: @csydelkoTweet Melisa Your Topic Ideas: @sheisnotmelissaNeed Advice?www.dontblameme.showDomestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrosetteThanks to Aaptiv for supporting our podcast. New members get 30% off annual membership http://www.aaptiv.com/BLAME.For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, go to modcloth.com and enter code BLAME at checkout. Hurry, this offer expires on September 1st!Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of Don't Blame Me, we have a fantastic guest by the name of Christine Sidelko. We give some advice to a young teenager who has currently baby fever and a 21-year-old who still lives with her parents but wants to gain some independence. And then we've got a drama with a high school throuple and a boy. Is he going to break up with this girl for her? Is he not? We're going to find out or we're going to discuss it. Keep watching. this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by Aptiv. Aptiv produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. New members get 30% off an annual membership. Visit Aptiv.com slash blame. That is A-A-P-T-I-V.com slash blame.

Thanks to ModCloth for supporting Don't Blame Me. For 15% off your first purchase of $100 or more, go to M-O-D-C-L-O-T-H.com and enter code BLAME at checkout. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to an exciting episode of Don't Blame Me. I say exciting because I'm really fucking excited about our guest. It's Christine Sidelco. I'm obsessed with you. It's me. It's Christine Sidelco. Guys, if you're listening to audio, you can tell that's not an impersonator. It's actually her. And if you're watching on the internet, you can see that it's actually her and mel will throw me under the bus mel how long have i been obsessed with christine so long how i learned about you was because she was watching your videos on my tv to the point

where i was like we need to start doing the podcast because you were getting i would just sit on the tv yeah and watch you on tv while we were we'd be recording this podcast it would just be playing with no audio oh that's perfect thanks for the um like five cents i guess you're all you mean adsense money doesn't pay all your bills no it's brand deals oh yeah oh no way i had no idea like 90 percent yeah wow that's so crazy i just like go viral all the time and like i just click on my own ads i only have so many baby feet to peel oh it's fucking same i guess i should do it again um well i'm really excited that you're here you've got a great podcast so we're just talking about oh thanks i'm still learning it's bad it's not bad it's not bad yeah i know i'm just

very hypercritical yeah um it sucks because we film we only record once a month and i'll do four to six oh so you show you tap out of like two days yeah because the guy because we have to travel to the studio and stuff so anything i learn you forget comments or like whatever doesn't show up until like four weeks later because it's weekly so i'm like oh god i just like get through these sucky ones and then oh this is where i learned like not to interrupt you know like it's awful oh it took me a long time to learn not to interrupt and then we went on hiatus and then i came back and i was like oh i'm interrupting again i should i should go back to not doing that but like to a certain extent it's your podcast like people want to hear you talk you know it's

not like you're against my home yeah it's all you're being rude it's just like yeah it's just i think i'm an only child and i always think i have something important to say i'm like i have something to say that you have to say but i'm gonna say it instead of you i always say i have the worst of both worlds because i'm technically the youngest and technically an only child because my brothers are half brothers that's me too and they're like 11 and 15 years older than me so they were out of the house like when i was really young so it's like yep i got two complexes like going against me yeah then that's definitely mine too because my half brother is like 45 yeah he's like 20 something years older and i'm like your kids are closer to my age than you are i know

they all have like houses and i'm like i'm here hello yeah i'm adulting just not as adulting as you are um but we're excited um if you guys are first-time listeners hello welcome uh this is an advice podcast where people call in and leave voicemails and we give them advice on their life and uh the phone number to call is 310-694-0976 can you imagine if we bought that how expensive i think it's a carpet cleaning company i think so people beep luna that's only relevant people who grew up in the greater chicago area i was like i was like i can do a shame company which is a jewelry web which will only be relevant to people who live in colorado and uh northern california isn't it crazy every place has like that that weird lawyer that has a really bad

or like the bus stops where it's like the real estate agents yeah ours was peter francis teresi if you are titled to title nine bankruptcy please call my yeah it was so funny i love that yeah we had shane co open in san mateo cupertino and walnut creek open weekdays till late saturday and sunday till five online at shaneco.com now you have a friend in the diamond business buys our stuff now exactly uh but yeah so also international callers you can email us at meganpodcast at gmail.com and with an mp3 file of uh your problems so you're ready to tackle some other people's problems you might want to say the number again because i'm pretty sure i started singing over you 310-694-0976 your eyes are open my eyes were open usually i have to close my eyes

to say the number interesting that also took me like 15 episodes to memorize it oh because it's just like an extra number what because you already have to memorize your own phone number that's the to true fact the only phone number i know is my phone number home phone number like childhood home phone number which isn't even connected um and then my best friend from home's home phone number that's hilarious that's it i don't know my boyfriend's number oh okay guys um so mel's here too mel just waved god we need a fucking mel cam and um yeah should we get started let's go Hi Megan, I need your honest thoughts on this whole situation. I'm just really tired of driving myself crazy and not knowing what to think or what to do. So yeah, I'm 18 years old and I live

in Denmark and my biggest wish is to become a mom. Yeah, and I've wanted it for such a long time, but i've i've never wanted it as much as i do now and it has been um a lot more manageable earlier because i haven't had a boyfriend um but yeah it doesn't really make a difference anymore because in reality i know that i can get a baby without and i'm just yeah i'm really tired of knowing that i can fulfill this dream of mine so easily but um at the same time telling myself that i can't get um with all this being said i'm aware of the fact that it's not easy being a mom at all yeah and i would just love to be 25 so that i could you know just go for it um yeah i'm also without feeling the guilt because i do really feel guilty

and almost embarrassed i don't really know why but yeah that's just how i feel um so yeah what what should i say to myself do you have any advice uh yeah maybe so i can keep it down um yeah i i don't know just just let me know what you're thinking thank you First of all, it really scares me that she's like, I just want to be 25 so I can like now it's ready time for me to have a kid. I'm turning 25 in like three months and I am so not ready to have a kid. Wait, you're only 24? Yeah.

We're the same age. Yeah. I think you're still younger than me, though. Yeah. I just turned 24. I literally thought you were like. That's so mean. No, not like old, like mature.

I mean, you look like, I mean, like. I look like 25. I live in a studio. Like you have like. I also have a boyfriend who. You're actually brave enough to have like white friendships that like won't get dirty. It does get dirty. Well, yeah.

Tied to go pants. He went for it. I'm also just insane. That's what it is. Well, you got that Hulu money. Even Mel lasted that. I walked in, I was like, tampon on the floor by the door. And oh, she got that Hulu money.

Duh, she wishes. Okay, having a baby. She's 18. That's what she's saying. And she's wanted a baby forever. Do you have any thoughts on this initially? You can be honest. this is why girls shouldn't have baby dolls i feel like yeah yeah i don't know i didn't

quite understand also i don't know if she was in the woods or what um there's a lot of came in and out a little um i think 18 is too young to have a kid yeah so don't oh don't have a kid i would say until you're 25 is that what she's saying which also do you feel ready to have a kid well I'm only 24 so I don't know until next March well I can say at 25 I'm still not anymore ready um I I get wanting to be a mom I so get that but I also think like you should have being a mom takes a ton of work and like it's so much like it's the most but I think you also need to have other like goals because like also when your kids grow up if your only goal was to be a mom your kids are gonna grow up and like go to college and like leave the nest and then are you

gonna turn into that like melissa mccarthy movie where you go back to college life of the party not sponsored but like i think like you got we wish you tell me i think you gotta like you need to figure out your other i don't know other things and also think about the quality of life of your kid that's what i would say too because like if you're like if you like financially wise and like i get that you're saying like oh i don't need a partner to um have a kid i can have a kid on my own but if you want to talk about like risk like feasibly like a kid really would i think kids benefit um when when they have two parents that are great i think they can benefit from having two two parents i don't think it's like a necessary thing at all but ultimately like i don't know i

think like at 18 years old you're the quality of life you're gonna be able to give your kid and the life knowledge you have is also pretty limited if i had a kid at 18 the kid probably wouldn't have made yeah like more like look at barbie like yeah and probably was asking her to marry him like so long she's like no no i want to be a doctor scientist dog walker vet pop star mermaid yeah you know it's the same time focus on your career yeah as a mermaid be a mermaid yeah i would say come up with other hobbies and then also um the quickest way to not get pregnant is to tell your boyfriend you've been thinking about trying to get pregnant and then he's gonna like wrap it up so fucking good well she said that she could get pregnant without a boyfriend too

like go to a sperm bank or just fuck somebody yeah you can't even smoke weed till you're 21 what the fuck really you're an adult she's in denmark so she can oh like the prince and me with julia styles i miss her that movie was so good so she's fantastic to college oh my god the kiss in the rain yes i need to re-watch it oh she's such a good actress she's so good yeah um yeah i would say also like talk to your mom so maybe maybe like talk to a therapist not to be like talk to a therapist but like i don't know maybe there's some like deeper like meanings in here maybe you didn't have like a great uh upbringing and you really want to like raise kids better than that and you've always wanted to be a mom but i mean like i have friends who

always wanted to be parents and like uh like are still going to be young parents and like a young parent now i think is in your 20s like i think that's still pretty young yeah but she could have also had a great childhood and and yeah i just want to recreate it yeah just get a hamster that's always your answer get a puppy always because i just want everyone to have puppies and then bring them here so i can play with puppies yeah get a dog um and it's like a test trial for a kid yeah and a neopet those are pretty easy to keep alive i don't know i think it's called hatchimals now shut up that's only last for like an hour and then you're done with it yeah babysit too i know i bought them for my niece and they just sit on top of her desk

so i just want them visited and your pants are because i didn't do any money in this story i'm like why are they dusty why do they have dust on them when because once they hatch they can't do well i get it but i'm not happy about it oh i miss neopets uh i hope we helped with that um maybe if there's any like young people who got pregnant young who are listeners and want to call in and kind of give some advice on that or young parents who like went out of their way to have kids young and talk about that just because yeah i think it's a natural thing i mean i would say i don't say i have baby fever now like i don't have like the real baby fever but like i definitely have like i watch so i can't say like i watch children that sounds creepy there's this one

youtube channel called hiho kids and these little kids and they try different foods and they're so cute oh is it the one yeah they're so exactly and they're so cute and i get like complete baby fever but then i think about how i don't really want to buy someone's dinner for the next 18 years like i don't even want to treat my boyfriend to dinner for the next 18 years so like that idea like i want a baby not a kid and that's pretty that's pretty good at that they're pretty much not really cute anymore once they're like out of kindergarten yeah then they start thinking they're funny and then they start like there's nothing worse than a kid that thinks they're funny like before they talk it's like oh you're so cute and then they're like and then my friend

and then i went to and then i was on the swing and then she went and then i'm like oh cool like please leave me alone also talk to your parents because that might freak your parents out but if you do and you're financially stable yeah i think that's the thing if you can provide a life that you want for your they go for it yeah that's why i got a dog i was like okay if she if she falls ill i could probably cover it oh i can buy extra 50 more food okay and then i got it food's expensive diapers expensive and then i had to pay thousands of dollars to fucking train her because she was awful because i rescued her okay guys on to the next call hi megan um i'm 19 and i've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and a half now uh our relationship is

great there's nothing wrong with it but my boyfriend is very self-conscious about his body and has like low self-esteem and since like we have such a great relationship and i love him unconditionally this is really hard for me because it's hard for me to see him in such a bad place with himself and even when i like try and reassure him like you're not fat and you have a good body and i love you regardless like people don't see you as fat he doesn't believe it and i just don't know how to reassure him and like help him keep his self-esteem up or at least like help him build it and i just want him to get in a better place and just be happy with himself i mean first of all is anybody ever like fully really happy with themselves all the time

like I don't think like I think like if you feel like he's got like a serious like self-hating issue but I also think a lot of the time like insecurities and stuff it's not it's not what other people think of you it's more of what you think about yourself in that sense and I think even no matter how great you think somebody is like there are days where I feel like I'm like I like so many like self-loathing self-hatred days or whatever and nothing that like my boyfriend or my friends could say would make me feel like that because I'm that's my choice you know what I mean like I don't think there's a way as a as a couple in a relationship I don't know if there's anything I if my boyfriend could say to me that make me feel

like better about myself other than like a therapist which is always what I recommend is therapy but i don't know well i have had one boyfriend and that was in third grade and wasn't real um but i am also fat but i also feel like you're right like there really isn't anything you but like you should keep saying what you're saying so that they know that you care but you kind of just have to force yourself there's really no other way around it yeah i don't think like it's like the same thing if you try on a shirt or something and someone goes oh my god that looks great on you and you're like I hate it like there's just like nothing you can say can really make me change my mind but I think there's a difference of I don't know there's a difference

between like there's sometimes if I'm like complaining about something or like if my like I don't know like if I'm complaining about something half the time I'm not doing it to get someone else to tell me like oh you look great or whatever like I'm usually just vocalizing how I feel but I think the support and stuff can feel really nice and I think if you as opposed to being like oh I think like don't say that about yourself or whatever because I think that just feels like a response to what he's saying like out of the blue just be like babe you look really cute today like you look like separating those things so it's not like he says oh it's not like if he says something negative about himself then he knows that you're going to respond to something nice

I think still totally do that but if you want to show him that you like think he's really cute and you think he's really great and like you really care about him and like you're really attracted to him tell him separately than that because I think that means more like I like if I get an un I don't know like an unprompted compliment like where I'm not like oh my hair looks bad it's like your hair looks great I'm like oh thank you but like if I get an unprompted compliment like that makes me feel so much better but then also I would say like if you think that he's experiencing like besides just like the typical kind of like oh I don't like what I look like in this or something like that if you feel like he's experiencing like seriously like really dark stuff

then i would suggest i mean how you suggest someone go to therapy or like ask him like hey are we like joking around and you're talking about how you hate yourself or is this like a real like a real thing because like i really care about you and it like hurts me when you say those things about yourself like do you think you would ever like go and talk to somebody about that i mean i would hate to hear that yes i will thank you for being supportive i've definitely like said nasty things to myself my boyfriend's like babe do you think you should maybe like go talk to therapist i'm like no fuck you i'm just gonna vent to like what i hate about myself to other people then that's kind of like how i call if something goes wrong in my life i call my mom

just to vent yeah i don't want her to do it because she's like what do you want me to do i'm like nothing i just want you to listen and let me get it out like i missed like a flight a connection and i had to stay overnight in atlanta the other night and i just called my mom and she just i was just like and then there's no fucking shuttle to the fucking spring hill suite i book with my fucking points because they can't or whatever she's like uh-huh uh-huh and then i was like i feel better mom thanks and like hung up yeah yeah i was like it's perfect yeah i mean maybe that's what your boyfriend's doing too is that he feels like you're a safe kind of person that he can like release invent those feelings too without yeah and it might not there might

not be some like serious self-loathing there it might just come from a place of being like oh i want to vent about this and talk about it and you're like a safe place where i can do it so i would have a conversation with him because maybe you're treating it more seriously than it is and if it is serious then um maybe yeah maybe he should be talking to like a therapist yeah that's what i would say on to the next call hi megan i am an 18 going on 19 year old college student and i'm calling to talk about um sort of in situation i've been struggling with for the past I would say five to seven-ish years. My mom, when me and my sister were very young, left our dad for a woman.

And we were comfortable with that. We really liked who her first partner was. When they originally broke up, we were down to do whatever to support my mom and my father. But her next partner, after she went through a messy breakup with her first girlfriend, proceeded to emotionally and physically abuse my sister throughout the entirety of our adolescence. And my situation right now is that around the age of 16, I had a very messy situation where I attempted suicide and was sent to a facility for about a year, working on myself with psychotherapy, trying to understand, you know, like the difference between taking responsibility for the abuse I went through. and, you know, just trying to deal with the effects of it. Sorry, that doesn't make a lot of sense. But I just wanted to talk because my mom won't let me come back over to her house

because she thinks that my suicide attempt was sort of a play against her current girlfriend. And she believes that I'm inoculative, I am vindictive. and that I am just causing drama because I'm angry about what me and my sister went through. And she won't let me back over to the house I grew up in. I can't touch my old things, lay in my own bed, or just have that connection with the life I used to have, and it's really hard on me.

And she said the only way she will let me come back over is if I apologize to this woman who spent years upon years hurting me emotionally, hurting my sister physically, making both of us feel very small and very out of control. My question is if I should just, you know, get over, like, I guess maybe gather the courage to apologize to her even though I don't mean it

and be able to go back to the house I grew up in because I really do miss this. or should i just not apologize and move on and let go of the past i'm sorry i brought you into a heavy one my parents are still together i don't know what to say i literally have never experienced anything even remotely close to that i mean i think i think what i would say is ultimately like i'm i i will be the first to admit that i definitely hold a grudge um and i would also say that i think you're holding a very valid grudge like i don't think this is unwarranted at all and i think ultimately first of all like parents are they're they're

humans too like no matter like there's like that point in your life where you realize like oh my parents are not superheroes like they're just other adults do it like and other humans in the world just doing what they're gonna do and so ultimately like i think um i think first of all like a suicide attempt is like not like a petty like a cry for attention or anything like that like that's just like no like that's just like that that's just that's an insulting thing for her to say and i think ultimately as much i mean also the amount of times i say ultimately in this podcast is so insane that's one i should start working on i'm gonna say it again you do like a counter i know there there would be so many but i think as much as you miss your childhood home

and everything like that i personally think that what you would have to sacrifice and apologizing for that and letting her back in your life i think isn't really worth that kind of feeling of laying in your childhood bed again and like saying having those things i think like it sucks because your his mom's still dating yeah that sucks but i think hopefully i mean i obviously don't hope anything bad happens to like i hope that their relationship it comes to light where your mom is able to like see what you and your sister went through and realize that that is not something that you should have to forgive because it's not like it's not like abuse is not something that i think there's a difference between accepting something that

happened to you that doesn't define you that's a part of your past and you can like move on from and continue living your life and it doesn't it doesn't yeah it doesn't define your everyday life but it's not something that you need to necessarily for like apologize for and like forgive I think you can for like you can find forgiveness in yourself to that person but I don't I think that's so different than being like oh I'm gonna forgive my sister's abuser and let her be in my life and like get dinner there and spend the night there I think that's asking that's your mom's asking a lot of you and i think it's not emotionally for everything that you've gone through i don't think that's gonna aid in anything like i think that's just going to like set you in

a way worse place like i know if that was me as somebody who's like fully struggled with like that kind of stuff like not like the family that kind of family stuff but like if i was put like i dropped out of college because the girls everyone was like so terribly mean to me and even though like i've moved past it and i'm like okay ultimately yeah like i don't wish death upon you and I like forgive you do I want to go back to college and move back in there with you like no like that would just send me straight back to where I was and not to like belittle that to like something as like small as that but I think ultimately you have to prioritize like your mental health and your sister's like physical well-being and everything like that and um you

want to be I don't know you also want to be supported by people who aren't going to say like your suicide attempt was like not fair and selfish and all that kind of stuff because that's not true and also there's again a point in time where you can realize that your parents sometimes their sole purpose was to have brought you into this world and they're not necessarily the people who raise you or the people who are there for you through everything and i think there's kind of this idea notion that they have to be but if they're not able to give you what you need out of that relationship then i don't think i don't think you need to forgive i don't think you need to forgive her because i also think it just yeah it just puts you in a really shitty

position and you don't i don't know and like also if you ever start feeling like really shitty dark thoughts ever again like you're not really in a place where you can say that because you know your mom's feelings about it and i don't think that's like a safe environment at all that's fucking sucks okay guys it's break time we'll be right back after this commercial break this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by Aptiv. Aptiv produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. Aptiv makes the highest quality training available to everyone with a carefully selected group of certified personal trainers that guide you through each and every workout. The trainers have a wide array of

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I have a bike at home so I can bike at home so I use this for um with my my cycle that I have at home and then also I made a request back in December January ish for a boxing class and they just put some up on the app it you did that yeah you did that I feel like I contributed for that getting done totally did so I'm I really love this app and I'm so excited to share it with other people yeah highly recommend it we're both into fitness and I think it's something that I now is becoming becoming like hopefully an almost adult not a fake adult it's something that I I really I really can attribute to like why I'm less stressed and I mean I'm still stressed but I definitely have like far less anxiety um and I think it's great but I think also there's

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blame is all one word at checkout and this offer expires on september 1st so go get yourself something cute for summer okay guys we are back um and we're going on to the next call hi megan it's me um so i'm a huge fan first of all love your podcast and everything i'm 21 years old and i just have a question i need some advice on parents and like helicopter parents and everything because that is something i really cannot stand right now um so my mom and my dad um they like to throw in my face that like oh I'm 21 years old I can do whatever I want but won't let me do whatever I want they always try to micromanage everything and annoy the hell out of me to the point where I'm so close to moving out it's ridiculous

um and I always talk to other people about it like my boyfriend and everything and he always tells me like oh like you need to tell them blah blah but he doesn't seem to understand because I have ethnic parents my parents are very strict they are very controlling and pushy and considering that I'm the youngest I'm a girl and my brother can do whatever he wants but I can't it just makes me so mad so my advice or my question is for advice on that what should I do how should I talk to my parents and get them to actually listen to me and let me do what I want because I'm 21 years old i'm not stupid i know how to take care of myself so i would really like some advice on that um first of all does she live with her parents yes oh homie you're fucked you're not an adult

you don't know how to take care of yourself you live with your parents you can't be you're not independent no you're not depending on them yeah a place to live that's they're gonna be able to hold it over your head the only the only way you can have actual independence and be able to do whatever you want is when you live we don't live at home like even my friends um when they who like have apartments in san francisco and stuff when we go back to like the suburbs or whatever or even like over summer in college they would suddenly get a curfew and they'd be like i'm sorry i live an hour away and i'm just here for the weekend and you're telling me i have to come home and you're checking in on me constantly that's just kind of like even when my boyfriend and i visit

his parents in colorado like he's always like oh we gotta go we gotta like be here at a certain point and all that stuff that's just like you can't have independence if you don't live at home i mean if you live at home right unless you're paying rent but still if you're paying rent you might as well move out yeah yeah i don't know i um my parents like didn't discipline me enough like in high school like i could just leave to go to my friend's house at like 2 a.m and then just text my mom in the morning be like oh went to slept over at my friend's house oh my god and she's like okay like will you be home for dinner and be like maybe like they just let me do whatever i want which is why i'm like have a lot of issues now but i've been financially

independent since i was 22 so i was like during college i went to college like 20 miles away from my house uh in chicago so um i was home almost like every weekend or like you know whatever my parents paid my rent you know paid my tuition i have no student loans like i literally like i sometimes i don't like doing like advice shows because like i have never experienced any tragedy outside of like a grandparent time like literally i mean no that's good that i mean it's i feel lucky but i'm just like i have nothing to give you and i'm sorry no but i mean you're on the you're on the other side of this too which like do you think there's a trade-off like do you feel like you've suffered because not suffering but um i definitely am not as independent as i

should be but as yeah 24 like i'm like i'm i feel like i'm like four years behind this is like if i'm 24 like i'm like i'm like where a 20 year old should be at so i'm like a sophomore in college yeah yeah yeah no i and i i i'm the i would say i'm more of the opposite i would have been financially independent since i was 18 wow and i also dropped out of college so also student loans um but yeah i mean there's there's just like ultimately like you can think that also there's this idea like i and i was only in college for like a year i thought i could take care of myself in college i thought i was an adult in college i also thought that it was like a system in which like you were given all this independence you're really not you're given structure and

you're given this like it's like you're a mouse and you're in this like tiny little cage which is like your hometown and then they put you in another cage that's just bigger and you're like it's not a cage i'm out in the real world and that's kind of what i would say college was for me is that like i i got like my like training wheels on for being an adult like i'm like i'm like using i've got a stove in my apartment like oh wow like if i don't like i can eat ice cream for dinner but ultimately it's like oh my my days were still scheduled with classes that i picked from like it wasn't like I had to fill my day with stuff like I was given I was given choices and I made those choices I didn't have to come up with those things in general um so I would say

ultimately like said it again uh I would say though I think if you're financially independent then you can be independent but if you're dependent on your parents for finances there's no way that they're going to give you free reign because like you you are a tax deductible still yeah like you're still paying your insurance yeah they're probably eating the food that they're preparing exactly and so they're ultimately you're an investment and they're going to follow up on their investment like until you're covering your own costs and stuff like there are rules there's interest when you take out a loan and like not that you're like a human loan but um yeah i think if you want to exercise that kind of independence more get a job if you don't already have a job

and save up money to move out and then be able to show that and i think it also there is definite difference between like guys being able to be independent and girls because guys can't get pregnant or cis males can't get pregnant so that's what it is the hardest thing for me to learn was that like if you spill something or like there's a bug like i have like a spider you have to kill it i have to i can't uh-huh or it's just gonna live like i have to no i live alone finally for the first time in my life since december it's great and then it's also awful at the same time Yeah, I'm kind of like, no, actually, it's just great. Is it just great?

Yeah. No, but I think living alone is the big, I grew up more living alone in like six, because I lived alone. I had roommates when I was 18 and 19, and then when I got my own place from 20 until like 23, 22, 23, yeah, 22-ish, I lived alone that whole time. and the roommates i learned so much more about myself and i learned so much more how to be an adult living alone in six months than i did two years living with roommates because like you said like i have to kill the spiders if we run out of milk i have to go buy milk like if we i have to

go buy toilet paper like there are all these like i don't divvy up they don't get to divvy up chores i have to do all of the chores i just scrub the toilet yeah you have to clean out the refrigerator oh my god i always clean the inside of the oven oh god my stovetop is a mess mine is currently hiding under a roasting pan yeah it's disgusting oh my god yeah which is why i also made my boyfriend move in with i didn't make him he wanted to move in with me and i was like great cool help around here take the trash out and i've always hated taking the trash out so i always divvied that up to like different roommates now i'm like oh no now i have to do the ones i hate so i think until um not that i'm saying that you're not like actually independent but

to exercise that independence get a job and then be able to move out and then you'll you'll you'll be able to gain some of that do that ditto next one what's up okay so this is the deal i'm 16 by the way um sophomore in high school and uh this boy that i've liked for two years now uh he's beginning a freshman year and he recently so he's in a relationship and he recently told me that He was going to break up with his girlfriend and that he liked me, which I was like, cool thing for the past two years. But I wasn't, I never told him this. I wasn't planning on acting on it until like a little bit after he actually broke up with this girl. um and then we went to lunch recently and he told me that he thought relationships were terrible

which I don't I uh was just confusing because I don't know what to do with that information and I don't know if I should go for it or if I should just remain friends with him because I really do like being friends with him he's just one of my best friends um so yeah i'm just gonna say it you're 16 you're not even gonna you're gonna struggle to remember his name by the time you're 24 be like what's his name you have to look it up on facebook to remember his last name i guarantee honestly true true that's all i have to say no i i i very much agree with that i would say this is i am a firm believer in like people are much people are so much fucking easier than you think they are and they are so much more transparent and we can you can twist it however

you want but like homeboys legitimately saying i want to break up with this girl to be with you but by the way i don't like relationships which translated is to hey i'm 16 i got a blow job recently thought it was really fun i think you should give me one later like that's what that translates to yeah i was thinking like i want someone to touch my dick yeah like will you touch my penis i want a new hand to touch my penis it's not my hand or her hand like and that's literally all this is um and like there's i don't know there's also like being the girl that a guy breaks up with another girl for that's first of all not only is it not a good look um but it's it's rooted in the idea that you're going into it with like how you get him is how you lose him

in that phrase or whatever but more on top of that like he he's gonna break up with another girl to be with you but he hates relationships that's a guy like when you hook up with someone or you date someone who goes into it going yeah i'm just like really bad at relationships like and i like just i'm not looking for anything i'm really not looking for anything serious and then you're like oh no cool me neither and then you hook up with them and then they they people will tell you what they're looking for and i think that's kind of clear what he's interested in right now and i also think it's not worth it to like fuck up a friendship and also like christine says you're not gonna remember his name in a couple years i scrolled past a guy on facebook

and i was like i am pretty sure i've slept with this person and i have not thought about him literally since i was a freshman in college and that becomes that is like the it's just it it fades into your memory also why hasn't he broken up with her yet yeah this sounds what this sounds like this sounds like the movie that i just watched that is called he's just not that into you john tucker must die love just watch that too on the plane it's great wow that's a good one we're in sync today i watched the post on the plane that's so not a plane movie you have to pick movies that like you wouldn't see in theaters like passengers yeah i didn't go see that neither did i when i saw pitch perfect three i was like no i don't know i did that's funny

i can tell you that was funny you laughed so hard that's really it's really funny that kills me um but no yeah so in that there is uh there like it's just classic of the guy he wants his wants his cake and be able to eat it too he's being able to he's keeping his options open with you so he's like bread crumbing you and like making sure that you're still interested he's not breaking it off with this other girl um but then he's letting you know that he doesn't like relationships you're handsome and gretel and he's the witch and he's gonna aren't they siblings oh they are yeah okay but i also think too um he's we have we had another call on sasha's episode which i think it was a sasha's episode maybe it wasn't um but it was it was a call about a girl

who had developed like an emotional crush relationship on one of her co-workers and they had a thing or whatever basically what this guy is doing he's a master manipulator at like 16 he's basically creating a window and opening it up where you feel like this relationship isn't legitimate so if he you guys like do anything physical or whatever it's like in your head you're like well him and his girlfriend are going to break up he's creating this hole in their relationship that is making it look like oh this is a kosher and fine way and way that i can sleep at night that i'm allowed to come do this because this is he's already warned me and told me that this isn't like a good thing or whatever so he's just yeah it's not really fair it's not fair to

her either the girlfriend okay we're at producer's corner guys and if you're new here or if you're christine i'm gonna explain what this is well i'm christine anthony here i fit both those categories um so producers corners where we either have a callback from someone who's updating us who's previously called in we've given advice and they're updating us on their situation and how things have progressed or we have someone calling in with commentary from the preview like from another episode so if they heard something and they wanted to give their own tune sense they want their 15 minutes for this part i mean sure cool so please watch the video guys so this is commentary from episode 27 with sasha from uh the caller we had that

uh got fired she was a teacher that got fired for drinking on new year's eve and one of her at a bar yeah and one of her students parents saw it and reported her i know yeah she got fired what a bitch uh oh and what we had said in this um the advice was that she should go through a wrongful termination suit and so this is someone that um had feelings about the call someone felt some type of way they're calling to tell us about it yep okay hi megan so i literally stopped in the middle of the most recent podcast with sasha because i was so livid and i felt i need to respond so i'm responding to the girl that got wrongfully fired for being at the bar as a teacher um i'm a first year teacher as well and i i drink all the time it's like

i'm 23 but anyway my point is is that this girl has a lawsuit which is waiting to happen because she can she can sue the school for wrongful firing because there are no grounds that support what's going on there's a mom who is literally starting rumors and she doesn't have any proof that she got the bar i don't know if she took pictures or anything but it's like it's all word of mouth so there's no way that she can actually like get this girl fired and the fact that their grounds for firing her are based off of this rumor that's being started that has no proof no evidence that's very wrongful firing and like really the big thing is like if she was posting stuff all over social media and they found it then that would be another thing but like this is just

This made me mad, and, you know, she has the potential to sue the school and, like, you know, get her reputation back, and I just think that that might be an outlet that she needs to go through, because the way that the situation was handled was completely wrong, and if she knows, if she works in any school district, like, teachers drink. they sometimes need to drink to get through the job but that's not beside the point um anyway i just had to stop and say this because i'm so mad and as a fellow teacher who like that's literally my worst fear i i think that that's ridiculous and that she deserves justice um so hopefully what she can do is possibly you know look into those outlets and see if she can get i mean i'm with this girl me too yeah i say get money from it yeah i mean i think like i'm glad to hear it from a teacher because like i obviously know nothing about teachers except the fact that i was not so nice

to all of mine all the time i made my physics teacher cry i made my drama teacher cry in high school why do you think there's a drama teacher true i mean i think i'm glad to hear that another teacher agrees with this because obviously i know nothing um but yeah i think the picture thing i didn't even think about i don't think she mentioned in the first episode if pictures were taken um but also at the same time i don't i don't think it matters and i think what we had said in the episode was it sounded like this mother like this woman who had reported her is probably a pain in the fucking administration's ass and they were throwing her a bone with this and i don't i think they probably know that what they did wasn't didn't follow all the protocols and

i don't think they assumed that she is going to follow up on like actually going through with this especially because you're like she was a young very first-time teacher that they would just assume that you're ignorant you don't know your rights but i think now you've gotten confirmation and i've gotten a lot of comments on the youtube uh the episode on youtube about it that people were saying that that's like a total wrongful termination suit waiting to happen so i would be like hell yeah and also if it's expensive and you're worried about that start a gofundme i will fully tweet about your gofundme and i will pay for that if there's any lawyers listening yeah can you imagine there's like a lawyer that like is a diehard don't blame me

on the southern california hi they're the ones who do the ads in our hometown peter francis i need peter francis we need some help man stat ironically i think he had to file bankruptcy i don't know that's not a joke i really think he had to oh god it's a good one it's a fucking good one um well yeah i think i think uh i think yeah i hope that person helped you more than that i'd love to get an update on that uh well everybody um thank you so much for listening christine thank you so much for coming yeah i hope i didn't fangirl too much in the beginning about how much i love you you literally didn't at all okay cool do you want me to do it more no i can do it more i think you're so funny thanks well then we met at coachella and then i

was like oh i really like her chela chela shout out to grinder oh my god chela so funny it was a good time i still have your grinder shirt do you want to find that jessica maybe at the sahara tent oh the rose what's the rose one i don't know i don't remember dylan francis i'll see you there oh my god i love it coven harris where can people find you on the internet and in real life i live vets no no no abort uh wait well you can say abort yeah yeah i think it's best if they don't find me actually oh i see sadako on everything yeah you're great on twitter huge fan on twitter thank you big fan of your youtube channel relaunch rebrand you're crushing it i have a bunch of videos edited and like saved up because i'm going on vacation like pretty much the whole month of june shut up

where are you going well i'm going to minneapolis for a weekend i love minnesota yeah my favorite state don't you know don't you know i love big sienna minnesota yeah yes man huge fan north dakota family yeah oh what are we talking about again uh where are you going in june oh yeah so minnesota and then i'm going for like almost two weeks to um have a family vacation at our cabin in new york and fourth of july yeah so fun america hell yeah i love it well great i hate america i mean i wish i was canadian and drake drake no she cares not canadian no she's colombian oh okay we're gonna pretend i didn't get them mixed up okay guys uh well if you enjoyed this

episode we would love if you subscribed on itunes and the podcast app and left us a five-star review would be a big fan and if you're watching this on youtube and you're curious where else you can listen to it we're on soundcloud but we're also if you go to don't blame me dot show you can find all those places where you can listen in your car and if you're just listening you can watch it on youtube on my youtube channel it's always linked in the description of the episode and if you guys want to call in and be in another episode you can call the phone number 310-694-0976 six and international callers email a audio recording just record it on your phone and email it to meganpodcast at gmail.com and we will uh get back to you with advice and

stuff and things and also we want to do a themed episode so if you guys want to tweet and give us like ideas for themed episodes you want to have them tweet me yeah so yeah are you implying i'm not gonna respond i'm just saying i'm not gonna look at them maybe yeah and thumbs up if you want a mel cam guys you do you really do want a mel cam you're gonna miss out otherwise my twitter is she is not melissa and guess what she is i am melissa have you and leo talked about your twitter names being like the same no okay guys we'll see you next week termination abortion don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa demont's camera

operator shereen yunes post-production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then oh Bye.