Don't Blame Me! - S2E8: Guest: Kingsley - Painful Hookups?!

Episode Date: June 29, 2018

This week youtuber and comedian Kingsley joins me to answer your questions! We discuss finding friends with benefits, how to reignite your sex life after ripping your husband’s penis, and is there a such thing as the perfect first kiss. There’s also commentary on the porn question.Follow Us On Twitter:@meghanrienks@kingsleyyy@sheisnotmelissaNeed Advice?www.dontblameme.showDomestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrosetteSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody on this episode of Don't Blame Me we have Kingsley. We discuss a guy who is hooking up with his friend who happens to have a girlfriend. We also have a callback about porn which I'm sure you guys will love to hear and a girlfriend whose husband's dick ripped and we talk about the penis in the ripping. Hello everybody welcome back to Don't Blame Me. this is my podcast hi i'm megan and we are here today with very special guest kingsley hi oh my god i'm so happy you're here i'm happy that you invited me here thank you i was just like podcast vibes i was gonna look like super cute and i was like no no you're sitting talking into a mic like just chill yeah i love it i love it i'm sweating and i love the title of your show

oh thank you it's really good it's um it's kind of like having like a legal disclaimer built in so like if i fuck up somebody's life like you've been reminded you can't like go to your lawyer and be like so i called this podcast called don't blame me they go no my issues right there exactly yeah covered all your bases exactly that's the plan um so yeah this is an advice podcast if you guys are listening for the first time we're also recording this for youtube so hello internet and if you're watching on youtube you might notice that i look a little out of it i got a concussion this weekend it's a fun story we won't talk about it um so yeah you tweeted about it i did i did tweet about it also did you see i like definite like it was one words are really hard but i kept

tweeting things and then be like no that's not what i meant to say and i'm like holy shit like this is definitely wow i'm gonna have to check out the timeline well i just saw i yeah i saw your tweet that said you're like blueberries are overrated and i was like for me blueberries are underrated then i saw you tweet later that said blueberries are underrated that's what i meant i can't oh my god there's like some of the things i really quote tweeted somebody saying something i was like this is great but i was like that is so great this is and i'm like oh dear god my instagram captions were like the same line almost twice i've been affected someone asked me how bad it was and i was like well i don't know all the states but i like didn't know before

so that's okay i can't believe you guys are debating blueberries when beyonce dropped an album oh that is true that is true i don't have a title though oh god you just need an email address yes i luckily get that 30-day track yeah constantly okay i did that for rihanna i did for Lemonade. I did it several times. I was on set when Lemonade came out and there was like the couple crew guys had downloaded it and then we just had their laptop. And so I assumed that it was

like an exclusive thing. Like Rhea, I would have to join. Oh God, Rhea. Yeah, I got that 30 days and by the time 30 days are up, it'll be on Apple Music. It's up there now. It is? Shockingly, they did it. I don't even have Apple Music. What are you listening to? I'm still on like Spotify.

Oh, it's on there too. Student Spotify. i don't know how i'm still paying the student thing so i don't want to fuck it up same with amazon prime oh yeah me too mine's running up this year though oh no i know that's so disappointing they sent me an email i was mad you're like i'm still a student bitch yeah getting the masters they don't know when you stop no no offensive aren't i always learning i'm constantly bettering right i'm a student of the world yes my friend we went to madewell and she always shows her student id and her sister is mortified because her sister fucking worked

there for years so everybody knows that like she's not a student and so then our other friend had overheard this and every time we go into a store now she goes you're not a student in the front of everyone so she never saw how to use her student id i was like you're a shitty friend very shout out to sophie we're not allowed to use our student id it's not a top shop nowhere okay well um this is an advice podcast for anybody who's first time listening um and the phone number oh wow let's see if this concussion can still remember the fucking phone number 310-694-0976 wow you did it that was that hurt to think about she lives she does she's gonna survive i'm gonna make it um and then international listeners if you guys want to call in or

not technically call in you record a voicemail email to meganpodcast at gmail.com and we can give you guys some advice so that's what's gonna happen today come through giving a fuck ton of advice i feel like you'll be good at this yeah i love like listening to people's problems yes yes i love it one of my favorite things ever which is why i started the podcast is giving people advice and then not having to like follow up on it so like if it's my real life friends i can give them advice but i can't be that harsh because like come like a week and a half i'm gonna find out what actually happened exactly with this one i can just be like here you go put it into the universe who knows if it worked or not whatever you do with it you'll do with it

so should we hop in oh and mel's here sorry i forgot to introduce mel that was such an afterthought we need a camera for you did you see everyone tweeting and um commenting that they want a mel cam i did i think we should do one even if we just set up an iphone just like right there for you okay well um yeah should we begin i'm ready to begin me too i'm sweating a little bit though hello megan uh i'm from norway and i just wanted to call in for some advice uh so the thing is i am almost 20 years old and I've never had a first kiss I never had a boyfriend and I'm like I kind of need advice to like know what to do you know so the reason why I haven't had my first kiss is because I'm like saving it for the right person and I feel like that's a smart thing to do

like to wait for the right one but at the same time I'm like 20 soon and I'm getting a little bit impatient like what if the right one doesn't come along in like 10 years I don't want to be like 30 and never had a kiss so what do you suggest should I just go for it like don't care about who it is with like it's not that big of a deal it's just a kiss or do you think I should like stay true to my to my wish to be like not pure but like to to wait for the right one and And also, if I were to just go for it, where do I find guys? Like, I tried apps, dating apps, and that is not for me, like, not at all. And to my school, there aren't very many boys.

So, like, I don't know. And I don't really like to go to parties. So, do you, like, have any tips on how to find guys to, like, potentially date? And, like, yeah, stuff like that. i'm just confused i'm 20 and i'm like i need to start living my life so if you have any tips or advice please give them to me thank you i mean i'm not if i'm i'm all for people saving themselves in whatever way that may be not for me personally not my jam um i would just say i think my automatic thing is like when you build something up to be really great there's no way

it's ever going to meet your expectations and then that i think applies to like everything like a job um an event new you think of new years and halloween it's never as fun as you think it's going to be and 100 that's how i feel about like first kisses my first kiss that was like i'm gonna say consensual because i definitely pinned down this kid named kyle wickersham when i was a kid and like sucked his face because i was how old were you i was like five i was so i was also tall and like large for I was like a larger child and he was very small so I just like had a lot on him which I still feel bad about to this day I'm like whoo um but I was like I was like 15 my 16th birthday when I had my first kiss and I would say I had pretty much like a perfect first kiss when

it comes down to it like I just went to the Jonas Brothers concert like I was a front row like they sang to me they sang happy birthday in the meet and greet I literally passed out and what I it was the greatest day of my entire life I have pictures and I just like you can see that I'm just like crying out of happiness and so sadly my first kiss wasn't with nick jonas which i really wish it was but this guy that i was dating he like wanted to kiss me on my birthday and so he like drove to my house and like gave me my first kiss like on my birthday and it was great for like the next three weeks but then he ghosted me and we never talked again so ultimately i think like a first kiss like the instance in which it can happen could totally be perfect but the aftermath

is so rarely perfect and unless you want to like your first unless you want this to be like a married at first sight kind of thing where like your first kiss your first everything with the same guy it might be great for a while like a great memory for a while but then it's like going to suck and then you'll like get over it and like now i can look back and be like he was a total megababe yeah what's the age of consent in norway what is i feel like i mean she's 20 so she's older I feel like I, my first kiss was in Head Start, so I was like, what, five or something, so same age, but it was consensual with this girl named Sierra behind a tree, and we all know how I turned out, so, yeah, who knows where her life is, or, you know, what she's

doing, but I feel like, it sounds like you feel a lot of pressure around being 20, and I just feel like everyone has such different ages, and... times where they feel comfortable doing something yeah i have friends who didn't have their first kiss until their 20s and i have friends who i have some friends who are still virgins friends who are waiting to have sex because they're waiting for the right guy or they're waiting until marriage like i have friends in all of those different places i think like most of the pressure you end up you put on yourself um and i think i think if you're if you're i think there's it's totally fine to get impatient like i would be fucking impatient too like i think it's a very natural feeling like

you got hormones you got needs so i think if you want to i think the whole thing is you have to choose either do you want to have your first kiss and kind of just say like whatever happens happens or do you want to still hold out for it because i don't think you can put the pressure to find that kind of right guy in like a time crunch and i also think that like i don't know there's no i i'm much more in the mindset of like first of anything it's so much more about you being in the right mindset and ready versus like the person that you're with like that's not going to make you feel more ready i think you're gonna feel more ready when you are but i mean how would you go about finding a boy to kiss i mean well she said she doesn't like go to parties and there's not

many guys at school i don't like i feel like even at parties like you're not gonna necessarily kiss someone just because you're at a party um you have to live your life the guy comes along he comes along if you end up being a raging lesbian and kissing a girl like you just don't know what's gonna happen and i think if you're trying to meet a guy to date i think the best place to do that is to go to places where you like do interests that you like if you like bookstores go to bookstores if my friend and i always used to say granted she met her boyfriend at a bar um we always used to say that if you go to a bar to meet a guy and that's really not your vibe you're gonna probably meet a guy who that's really his vibe that's where he what he's really into and

like that's where he likes to hang out and you're kind of giving off that thing of being like oh i like to go out and go to bars like i just came here to meet boys yeah which i'm not a bar or a hearty person at all uh granted i met my boyfriend like at work but i think you have to like the more you'll be more likely to meet somebody that you have common interests with and that you're going to actually really be into it is really going to be into you if you're staying true to yourself and like hanging out at places that you you kind of like that or also ask your friends if they've got like people to set you up with um yeah i completely relate to the not using dating apps thing it just seems so like forced sometimes and i don't like the concept of talking to someone for

a really long time and then meeting them no because it's like text and vibing in real life is not the same no it's not I would rather I loved the idea of dating apps but just not using them for dating just using them to make me feel good about myself because I'm great over text message and then I don't

want to meet anyone in person and I'm like I never want to meet you like I just like wanted you to tell me I was like funny and cute and pretty and like now I never talk to you again which like that was what I did which is terrible but I mean I'm with that the dating app thing I think can be yeah because you can anyone can kind of like we're in the era of catfish like you can always like pretend to be

a different person so calculating you're like choosing your best pictures and just it's such i can't no i've made my friend change her last picture because when i did have dating apps my final picture i will say i crushed it like i i fucking i never met anybody in real life but like my ratio of like matching and like being told i was funny was like pretty fucking high which is all i was there for um but my last picture was me after i'd gotten my nose done so like my nose is bloody and bruised and i have two black eyes and so like i really like made fun of myself in my profile and so many people were like wait this is so funny you're not taking yourself too seriously so i made my friend change her last picture because it like it was her like at a sorority

formal like hand on her hip and i made her change it to a picture her like drunk eating chicken wings and she matched with so many more people and i was like see if you're like your real authentic true self but i think it's hard because no one really is true yeah very true yeah just relax girl yeah and you've got to put yourself out there you're not gonna get your kiss if you're not going anywhere true no dicks don't just fall on your lap as much as we all wish it doesn't always happen like that you have to put the effort forward and coming from somebody who's also lazy with dating like that was like the biggest struggle with me i'm like i don't want to like that's so much effort like you actually have to put in the effort otherwise you won't meet people

yeah and i feel like well i don't know like do girls feel more pressure for guys to make the move or i you're asking someone who pinned down a guy when she was very good point i mean i'm pretty forward but when it comes to like the first i'm like i'm definitely forward but like if i like somebody i will tell them but if it comes to that's that's why i usually have feelings like for friends and develop crushes because i'm not one to go up to a guy for the first time who i don't know who i think is cute like i will make the first move if i'm friends with somebody or i know them and like i will definitely plant that seed but if i don't know somebody and i just see a cute guy like there's no way like my friends i used to like literally just like get dressed up

and like go hang out and be like i hope someone talks to us i'm like that's so fucking weird like you get like all cute and hope and then the ball's on your court you're not doing anything and i'll be honest that did not work for any of my friends no whatever it came up it was like i want to talk to these girls who are sitting by themselves just like looking at the room and being like i hope somebody talks to us yeah like that's not approachable wow get my face on this okay concussion number two i mean she does that all the time i do and then i look at too close and i lick it and i'm like wow i know so hopefully you don't have a mic that i've previously licked potentially i don't know catch the catch the cooties okay do we help i hope so yeah i hope

so and maybe look on the youtube comments and if you guys also are like in your 20s yeah help her out guys if anyone else is in that same position okay on to the next one I am 25 years old. I'm about to be 26. I am a little bit intoxicated right now, but I'm just giving you a message just saying that I just hooked up with my friend who happens to be in a relationship. And I've hooked up with him, like, a few times.

Like, maybe, like, two to, like, 17 times, and he happens to have a girlfriend, and I just want to, like, I feel like we have a connection, but we probably don't. I honestly don't even know. We are good friends. And then he caught, his girlfriend caught us together. I don't even know. Like, have a good time. Bye.

He's so relaxed. No, he's so drunk. Wait, wait. So they got caught, but he doesn't know. He doesn't know what to do. Did they just get caught? After the 17th time.

It seems like he was calling like straight from straight from it i love when you get a good car phone call i love when we're people's first call like we're the first responders wow okay i'm gonna that's it it's a lot to unpack i'm gonna say something that's whatever this is gonna be like typical megan controversial thing i have guy friends who've hooked up with guys who are in relationships with women and that i think it's so much more common than most people know is that there's a lot of i think we're in this generation like right now this generation is like very some people can be very supportive and coming out but i think in a lot of older generations like depending on where

you grew up and stuff like that like it was just a lot less progressive so this happens a lot more than um i think people know and my controversial thought process is like other people's figuring out their sexuality like as much as like that sucks for the girlfriend i think like other people figuring out their sexuality i think like her she needs to take a back seat and like no no you hate that i hate that because i feel like it's one thing to explore your sex like if he hooked up with his friend before he got in a relationship that's fine but you're stringing this girl along like once they have you as a friend know that this person is in a relationship you need to stop it's just dangerous it's messy it's true it's not safe it's tacky and every other adjective that i

just that's so messy i wonder do you think he i mean we don't know what his if he's out as anything like his girlfriend was this like a total shock to his girlfriend it would seem like it i don't unless he's out like his bi and he's just been hooking up with the other guy because i think usually i guess i forget that he said that the girlfriend caught them usually my thing is i'm like if you're hooking up with somebody who's in a relationship they might be in an open relationship they might like be in anything like that um but i mean if she walked in fuck i want to know i want to know his drunk ass couldn't even give us god that's sad though because i yeah there is so much more to it like is this friend in the closet and not really into this girl or is he just like a

super horny person that can't cut off his friend like is the friend just where they like he was drunk is it just a drunk thing that happens like it's just like have you guys talked about it like have you and this guy taught like were you hookup buddies before he had a girlfriend and this kind of like stayed and then or how good also how good of friends are you if you didn't know he had a girlfriend no i think he knew yeah he knew from the beginning yeah i think so too like they're friends and i think he definitely knew because he was like two to 17 times which also means like 25 times like wait and also like do you i would do you think they hooked up before he was dating this girl like has it probably yeah probably and that's what i don't mind it's just

like i feel like stuff like that is why certain people enforce like this whole mess like why certain people will be suspect okay if their boyfriend is close with a gay guy okay like this is the type of stuff that validates that in my opinion and i know people really get upset about that uh yeah not always for reasonings like this but when something like this is happening it's just like ah wow because it's the same as just a girl being paranoid about another girl like based on their experiences if you have past experiences where people are betraying your trust yeah with something that seems platonic yeah it's not good no so not good i mean what's our advice for him sober up sweetie first one um they should have a conversation yeah because i

think like i think there can be some of that like romanticism to it like i mean who doesn't love like the illicit kind of love story it can be hot but also if this is a guy's your friend and you care about him like you should also care about like his relationship and if this is going to affect like his not maybe he doesn't live with a girlfriend but like that kind of side of his life like you want to you don't want your friends to obviously suffer and go through shitty things like that and then also like what if one of you catches feelings and then you're not in a place where you can kind of pursue that and then if it's just sex too like you guys are not the only two people in the world who want to have sex with each other like were they being saved like were they

using for oh my god oh are you picturing like one of them giving someone someone else something else and then it all comes out i'm picturing the worst of the whole situation i just want to pick i just want to know how the girl like caught them right like text message or like walking when i was in college my college boyfriend was with a gay guy like having relationships with them and i caught it through a facebook message shut up this is why we need a fucking mel cam so you guys could see mel's like stoic face yeah and i never told him that i knew um like we broke up yeah and we're still friends he's out now but like we're still friends and but i never told him that i do facebook habits my friend caught his boyfriend cheating on him through facebook messages and then found

like phone numbers and his dirty fucking jeans and after that i found pictures of them like they had gone out to like la and we're like all over each other yeah i did like some sleuthing after oh fuck yeah like deep dive sleuths oh my god well good for you for not telling him yeah because that's like a struggle because did you go to school in arkansas okay yeah yeah we were friends all through college like we're still great friends right now are you from arkansas same you're from Arkansas I just went to Arkansas

I was born in Pimeloff okay my mom went to UAPV nice I went to Bentonville yeah where Bentonville

whoa yeah jeez yeah small world pretty cool shout out to everyone from Arkansas yeah so I think that yeah

the advice is to have a conversation with him and then also like put yourself in his shoes in that same way that I think like as much as like I I also probably cut my friends a little too much slack

when it comes to like their like sexcapades because like i know them but if you're friends with this guy and you know this girl too you just wouldn't want to be in that situation and also it's yeah i guess it's also his journey too if he like he needs to figure out what he wants because clearly this is a guy who's either confused or knows exactly what he wants and if he knows exactly what he wants you guys he needs to be with somebody who's like knows that and is okay with that because i don't really think it's fair i'm like completely going back on what i said before whatever i don't think it's

fair as a girl when i've had i've been friends with people who've like done shady things or whatever and they've like kept it from their significant other i'm like i understand it's fine like keeping things like if you need to like but if you're going to keep something from somebody and that person if they knew that they might not want to be with you then you have to end it with that person because it's not fair to make the decision for both of you when you when you don't all the information like you need to let other people make those decisions communicate even though that'd be fucking awkward and maybe i mean now it's gonna be even more awkward fucking awkward have a conversation with just him not his girlfriend yes yeah just him you guys need

to figure out what you each want maybe go to a coffee shop like sober and sit like kind of far away from each other we need a follow-up he needs to call back yes this is this is one that we need follow up on it go so many ways yeah how old was he did he say 25 25 25 yeah 25 okay now the girlfriend might like not let the boyfriend see the friend again the it's oh my god like did they break up or was she like good with it well let us know what happens i do love that he called you like in the heat of that like this feels like one of my friends would have done this where it's like hey i fucked up which i've gotten that phone call like that drug phone call like i did something bad and I love that and I like that we get this from people I've never met before

oh on to the next call I'm a junior right now in high school and I'm not really looking for like a boyfriend like I know I have some friends that have boyfriends and I'm just not kind of really wanting one of those those relationships I'm focusing on like school and my extracurriculars and stuff um and I also want to move out of state for university so I don't really want to like get into something too serious but I do like I want a friend with benefits if that makes like any sense but I just don't want to be there to be a commitment to it you know and um in high school it's kind of hard to do that like I don't want to be considered like a slut or something and like I just don't know how to initiate with someone either because I'm like I have friends

but as I said I'm kind of like I work with my like like I'm very I try to be good at like work hard in school with my grades and stuff I don't go to many parties and things so I don't really have an opportunity to really just go up and ask someone I mean like I mean I know a few guys but not like friends enough to like not like those kind of friends like just in class or things so what should I do and how should I initiate it thank you so much bye this girl needed me in high school because I'm the exact opposite I like was not focusing on my grades or extracurriculars I was focusing on guys um I think first a misconception about friends with benefits you don't have to be that kind of fucking friends like yeah like you really don't like you don't

have to it doesn't have to be like I honestly think it's better too when it's not like your closest guy friend who you also fuck or your closest girlfriend I think it's a little bit better when um it's somebody who you're friendly with or you have classes with and as an acquaintance first of all this is like everybody's not everybody but like a lot of people's dream so i wouldn't say don't like worry about bringing it up i also don't think you need to have like a conversation and be like hi my name's that's we have to bleep that sorry hi my name's betty sue i was just wondering if like after school you like want to put it in me like you don't have to say it like that i think if you hook up with somebody at like i fuck i keep like just like

associating parties with this but if you like flirt with somebody you guys end up like hooking up or whatever then you don't have to follow it up with all you do is just don't have the what are we conversation that's all you have to do right that's so interesting i i don't even know anything about this you ever had a friend with benefits not in high school i i lost my virginity when i was 20 um and i like i just wasn't even thinking about it because i was so gay and like in the closet and not having sexual like anything in high school so i don't even know how like how did you start in school so i started my friends with benefits situation was with um i'm like i wonder if anyone from high school is gonna hear this because i denied it left and right that this

guy ever him and i ever hooked up um uh he was my prom date um so i got my boy talked a lot about yeah i have i have my my high school boyfriend and i were dating for like he was like my best friend we dated for like a majority of high school we broke up like the week before prom and it was like very traumatic he asked another girl and to prom in front of me everyone thought it was for me but it was like for this other girl it was like hella dramatic and there was this guy um who i had known like kind of like my whole life but we weren't like really close friends he uh was someone that my boyfriend or my ex at that time was like always kind of very jealous of because he was just like didn't really pick up on social cues and like didn't really care that i had a boyfriend and he'd

walk into class like hey megan you look really hot today and my boyfriend be like you can't fucking say it and so he told my friend he's like oh i kind of want to ask megan to prom and i was like fuck yes not only are you hella hot but like you're also going to like make my ex really jealous and so we ended up going like he asked me to prom and we like hung out and like ended up just like kind of starting that like flirty thing it was just we both knew we were into each other in like a physical way and then we ended up like hooking up for a while and then we ended up like kind of dating for a minute and then it didn't really work out it was just very casual natural like we went it was more the thing with friends with benefits is it becomes like a physical thing first like

it's it's there isn't like a slow i at least with our situation it wasn't like a slow build-up like we figured out we were both into each other we were both single we had never both been single at the same time we like made out and then like the next week we like hooked up hooked up and then like kind of just kept doing that um and then we and also for people calling you a slut like i news around high school travels fast won't lie about that so i had like in my yearbook class i remember some girl slides down and sits next to me she goes hey like just like want to ask you like rumor has it like you and so-and-so hooked up like is that true and i just like used my best like thespian like shakespeare summer camp skills and i was like no not at all and then everyone was

like okay sure and we like denied it and denied it then we like got drunk and hooked up at a party and everybody saw and we're like oh okay they are but i think like you there's a little bit of sexual confidence that i think has to come from that because it is i don't think you don't have to talk about being friends with benefits it just kind of is a thing that happens but it happens based on like a physical kind of thing especially in college it just happens yeah everywhere like you get a little too drunk one night like you like mentioned to your friend that they you think that they're cute and then it like just kind of goes there yeah i think it's a it's yeah it just requires just like actual like i don't know getting over that first hump

that's that's what it takes so i don't really know i don't know if you think somebody's like if you think i was a big fan of the game of telephone in high school where it's like oh my god so and so did you hear my friend thinks you're cute and like if you can kind of just yes plant those seeds um i would do that or if there's like a dance coming up ask that person to a dance yeah it's summertime i don't know what class were you like when did you graduate 2011 okay i was 09 i feel like now kids are so into like on the phones and like they see stuff happening and they feel like they have to do it more than letting it actually happen like i think a lot of the things you're talking about it's like dying out as far as like word of mouth and

like spreading stuff around you mean just like like your his insta yeah like they're like oh i see some of the dumbest stuff like my friend's sisters um have like panic attacks like oh this guy from the football team he hasn't opened my snap yet like he hasn't opened my snap he hasn't liked my pictures like i liked all his pictures he didn't follow me back i'm just like i would have talking about i would have hated it i would have hated it so much it's so bad i would have lost my damn mind oh yeah it is summer though but i mean yeah fuck you're right like there's no also if you're just like horny are you masturbating i hope so yeah 17 right 17 yeah i hope you're doing that uh yeah get there she's not a virgin

right she didn't say but i'm guessing she's not i'm guessing she's not you don't just jump to wanting friends benefits which i would be impressed by um yeah i think also if like masturbate decide if you still like need a guy in the picture um and then oh wait what's the age of consent here are we allowed to tell her to fuck people so once you turn 18 in a couple weeks happy early birthday i think then if you if you really do want to just like hang out with somebody i think you can like hit up a guy that you think is cute and just or if you your friends have a party or something invite somebody along to something in a not pressure situation like i think ours ours was prom which prom at our school you just had dates you weren't necessarily dating

those people but i think if it's like a low pressure thing to show that you're interested yeah and be a little aggressive like she was saying like tell the guy you think he's cute yeah tell him it looks good that day like just plant your seeds and high school boys are so fucking horny like no one is gonna be like sorry i really don't want to have sex with you with no strings attached yeah she's over the age of consent for where she is based on your area code i won't say where you are but so yeah so then i would say that i think it's exactly you have to be a little aggressive to get what you want um consensually aggressive uh and then just be confident in knowing that that's that's something a lot of people are looking for especially at that

time i think college and high school especially like end of college end of high school nobody's really looking for anything with strings no like you just like you want to get yours and then you like want to go to college you want to study you want to get yours and then you continue on so i i say go for it i had a really great time with friends with benefits because neither of us really caught feelings so that was good right yeah and if it's the key though it has to be good sex if it's not good sex then it's just move on you can't like find somebody else you visit it you can go to another destination thank you you've arrived at your destination please keep going add another soap

new root like okay yeah with that but congratulations go you yeah be safe be safe

wrap it up don't get pregnant don't get of the other STDs it's called pregnancy and STD good god

gonorrhea those ones okay guys we're gonna go on a quick break and we will be back this episode of don't blame me is brought to you by don't blame me a inception i don't think i ever saw that movie um but no guys today we are giving itunes some love we're going to be reading some of

your great comments and reviews from the podcast app uh really been loving loving loving reading them like i always say it's just so nice and so if you guys want to be featured in this it would really make my day. And then you get to hear your lovely comment read out loud, which keyword lovely. If you don't leave a lovely one, not going to read it out loud. So this one, oh, sorry. I started choking on pistachio. Don't worry, everybody. I'm fine. Okay. This one I really like because it's pretty true. Um, the, the title is you made me start listening to podcasts. I legitimately relate to so many of the things that are in your podcast. I never listened to podcasts before because I always assumed they were for old people or they were just boring

but you've definitely changed my mind about that anyway please continue with this I love that because I do think there is a misconception that podcasts are for like old boring people which I would definitely identify as like an old boring person and I love old boring people podcasts but guys podcasts are for young hip people too um this one says amazing I absolutely adore this podcast don't blame me is relatable and hilarious at the same time i love to listen to podcasts at the pool in the car in my room don't blame me it's just an amazing podcast that somehow feels professional and laid back all at once love it i love that they called us professional and laid back i think that's the definition of recording with all all of like melissa's wonderful recording

stuff and then me wearing sweatpants that's like the professional and then laid back um so thank you guys so much for leaving those reviews it really does make my day and um i would love if you haven't left a review yet don't be a silent fan be a loud fan let 2018 be the year of you being like you know what I really love this podcast and I'm gonna be a really great person pay it forward and I'm going to leave a wonderful review it really does make my day and I like reading it and I love hearing what you guys have to say and I also really like we've seen a couple of comments of people saying uh who they would like as guests too so I really enjoy that or telling us who your favorite episode was with um what your favorite topics are I don't know it's

nice to hear from you guys we feel all inclusive so thanks guys for doing that thanks for indulging me like reading compliments about myself during this time so um let's get back to the podcast okay guys we are back from our break and we're on to more calls my name is and i'm 20 years old So, I have this friend that I've been friends with for a really long time, probably since elementary school, and I think she is now identifying as a boy, and I'm not quite sure, though. I'm still calling her she because, like I said, I'm not sure. And I want, I know people on this podcast before have called in saying, I think my friend's gay, but he's not telling me stuff. And I don't know if I should take this the same way. Because I want my friend to know that I'll accept them however they identify as.

And I want to let them know that I'll still be their friend, but I don't know. I'm not sure how to go about it. She changed her name on Instagram to the guy's name and the same on her Snapchat. And she cut all her hair off really short. So I don't know. i just and i just don't know how to go about all of this and if he is identifying as a boy now then i guess how do i cope with it not really cope because like i said i don't care either way i still just want to be her friend but i don't know it's just such a touchy subject and i just don't

how to go about it my instinct is I would I mean what I would genuinely the first thing I would do was I would just use them they pronouns when talking about your friend when they're not there and then just not use specific pronouns to their face because I just I I yeah I mean like this was something that definitely something I would struggle with in the sense of you want to be super supportive for your friend but you also don't like i had i grew up with a couple like kids who didn't fully go through like transitions in high school but definitely i don't now that now what they identify as is gender fluid but like that was in high school like there were some days there was one kid who um dressed more female and other days dressed more

male and we just all used them they pronouns because different days they desire different pronouns and until they told us it's we we just would go for them they um that's kind of where my mind would go but i think the changing of the names on social media i think it can go either way it can be someone who wants to be considered more like androgynous because i think a lot of there's a lot of like unisex kind of names right now um but i think it also could be a sign that they would prefer him he pronouns and like without asking for it but that's something like i i don't know like i don't know how you bring that up because it's not really your journey either but like how do you i get the struggle like how do you be supportive without putting a label on somebody

else when they haven't they haven't necessarily labeled themselves or like told you that stuff yeah that's hard i feel like everyone that i've known this transition has vocalized it yeah been public yeah um so like you said it's her own journey um i don't yeah i feel like as a friend for so long that would be difficult and even i like hearing it and i was trying to put myself in her shoes like i would be bothered if they made changes on social media without yeah you feel a little offended yeah it's like what's happening um and that it's kind of sticky yeah and it's well I think you could phrase it as I want like as your friend I want to be able to like be your number one ally and your number one fan and if you don't want to

talk about any of this I'm totally there for you but I want to know I want to know what's the best how I can best support you and as somebody who like obviously I can't speak for you but as somebody who's close to you I want to make sure that like I'm I have the right narrative and I don't want to put you into any box if that's not what you want to be and if you're still deciding and going through that like gender is like a gender is just a construct and gender is a completely fluid thing and whenever you decide or not decide to identify as or decide to not label yourself at all I just want to make sure that I'm I'm I'm on the same page as you and like doing everything like that so I think if you want to have that conversation you can because I think if you come

at it from a place of being like I just want to know what how I best can support you and how I best can be there for you but I also think I don't know I think that the changing of the names especially how they were young right high school yeah they're well no they're 20 20 yeah I think like it's it's like a step your friend just might not know too and that's like the person i'm talking about who now identifies as gender fluid that this person was um really doing that kind of uh changing how they were dressing and how they were talking and the names they were like preferred to be called by day to day and that was when we were like 16 17 and we're like 25 now and this has been like kind of a newer thing but everybody else i know has been pretty public about hey everybody

buddy, this is one mass Instagram post or one massive Facebook post. This is what I'm identifying as. And this is what I prefer to be called. So maybe that just hasn't happened yet and it's going to happen. So I think if you want to hold out a little longer and wait to see if that happens, I think the safest thing is to again, go with them. They, when talking about your friend to other people, um, and then just, I don't really find myself using pronouns to someone's face really yeah so i think you could kind of just like steer clear of that and then wait it out a little bit longer but then if you feel yeah maybe if you feel like you want to say something i think if you come at it from you don't have to have an answer to

this question and like this is also just like me just wanting to know how best can i be your ally because you also don't like the same thing you're saying like you don't want to misgender somebody especially somebody you're super close with you don't want to because that can be like an accidental feeling of not feeling like supported but i also wonder if they go to the same college or on that like another not to like minimize the situation but there i've had friends who just changed their personality um and even listening like we have the chopped hair and the more neutral name that could i mean it could be yeah but it could be absolutely nothing she could just be like you know yeah i'm a new person like i don't like my name i didn't like my hair

yeah i feel more comfortable in this look and that's just that no completely like it's the the idea of i read this article about how um like babies how like the entire like it's parents are so much gendering their kids and how kids the only reason like every kid looks the same until they have long hair which is deemed like more female or anything like that so you can be into dressing more androgynous and having a more of like a not typical very like girly female name and still identify as a woman and as a woman who's into whatever gender that they're into so it you're right it doesn't always have to mean something more like that and i also think so much happens at that that age like i had friends that i went to high school with who were identified as

straight in high school came back one summer after college and they were gay and we never talked about it and like we all knew but there is something about doing like do like being your best self in a place where you didn't grow up with everybody and i think like i don't know if they're in a new town or something like that but you can really change and be who you always wanted to be and that might mean that they're just exactly like you're saying like they just like want cute like kate hudson hair and they like want to like change up their look or maybe they do want to identify they're identifying um as the gender that they really feel or not identifying as any gender but i think i mean personally i would wait it out because it's it's definitely

an awkward conversation and i again personally would just not want to i don't know not want to pressure anybody or offend anybody in any in any way and make them feel like they like it's something they need to think about or they need to decide on because it's yeah it's also just like it's not only like it's someone else's gender none of your business like it's not like you even if it's your own gender you don't have to make that your business like it's not it's just like an idea also since she did change her or since they did change their profile picture i mean their name you could ask them hey i noticed you changed your facebook would you prefer to be called this name oh yeah as that first name yeah so that could maybe open up some discussion too

and maybe see if you guys don't live in the same area um and maybe you guys aren't because 20 or so in college right maybe you're calling i didn't go maybe you're in college different places look at the comments on their those on their pictures and see what other people are commenting maybe like do some faith facebook sleuthing and see how other people in the if you're not in their day-to-day lives see how people in their day-to-day lives are what they're addressing them as um but yeah i think i think if you just like wait it out and give it time but i again also that might not it doesn't it all yeah i don't know you'll just patience don't overthink it doesn't really matter anyway but i get the fear of not wanting to misgender or mislabel somebody or say the

wrong thing to make them feel like you might not be supportive but i think ultimately you're if you don't do that like if you don't refer if you go if you just switch to them they you're not going to you know i mean i think like that's a guaranteed way that you're not going to offend them and show your support so as long as you keep staying friends with them my ass would just be like why'd you change your name i'm like what is this like i had a friend that um was born male and then transitioned to female and just changed her name on facebook and so then i just started calling them by that name and didn't say anything else after that and then it was that it was just that yeah that's how i feel like it happens a lot of the time too like i have had

friends who then will just suddenly start dating somebody of the same gender and it's like we didn't have to have a sit down on conversation like so does this mean you're a lesbian like just gonna it's like whatever you choose to do with your life great i'm gonna take whatever social cues you give me and i'm just gonna do i'm just gonna say that back and then if you start calling them by their facebook name or their instagram name and they're like why do that you're i don't know you changed it so i thought you want me to call you you can just play that card so but i think you're being a good friend by being concerned about it but yeah i think sit it out wait it out same advice i give when people are like my friend's gay

but okay should we go to the next one hey megan i'm 22 and i've been married to my husband who's 24 for eight months he is my best friend and the love of my life and i am so grateful for his love in our life but we have no sex life we used to have sex all of the time until a little over a year ago we ripped his dick before skin and we had to go six months without sex I'm I'm lucky if we have sex once a month now I know he's scared that something freak will happen and it'll rip again and we use every precaution necessary to assure that it doesn't happen but I feel like he lost all sex drive for me and it's really affecting how I feel about myself especially since he masturbates almost daily i need our physical intimacy back i i feel selfish

for constantly begging for sex because sometimes it feels like he's my roommate not my husband please help me please give me some advice what can i do i've tried everything to spice up our sex life and he just doesn't seem interested first of all i'm so sorry i laughed at you um same i feel like i have to say that after like at least one every episode there's like one call i'm like i'm sorry i laughed it was just shocking it was it's just not what i expected okay did she rip a stick i think so so what happens is so if you're uncircumcised that was my first thing there's this small tag of skin that's underneath your penis that's like your frenulum like that little thing that connects your tongue yeah for viewers on youtube and so um sometimes during

intercourse you can rip that and so it takes six months to repair but did you literally google like penis rip that takes six months i did and so um like if you have sex with lubricant like after till then it should be fine but it can rip again which is i'm sure that's what he's afraid of and it's very painful so if it keeps ripping you have to have surgery i was picturing like a ripped shaft it's like ptsd oh okay fuck i mean well i don't get why he can masturbate but can't if he's like doing it underneath where the tear is then he could still masturbate but if he's like inserting inside of her then it's still where that tear would be damn oh my god so he's got like ptsd about her vagina mm-hmm fuck teeth yeah did you see that movie yes vagina dentata

um i mean my my first instinct would i think like supporting him in like this is obviously a very traumatic thing like if I hooked up with a guy and like he like I don't know like tore or like he like bit my clit I would be so fucking mad and like you know like I would have if you think about it in that way like I would have very much like a nervousness towards that so I think as like you need to know that this isn't about like him not being attracted to you at all it's is more of like a fear of something like very painful um so i mean i would suggest like can she still go down on him yeah i mean she can't like she can still they can still have sex but like is going down on him like that is that worse or better it's still it depends on where she's

putting her mouth if she like inserts him directly and misses that front part then it should be fine there has to be some sort of like sex therapy for stuff like this like techniques wait so where on the penis is it i'm confused again it's near the tip it's so then but then if you have sex with a con is it putting a condom on painful like is that it doesn't say but it says like if you use lubricant it should be fine he just never seen that friends episode where monica makes joey that like little thing to go over his penis with like bologna and like fur like he needs one of like he he's just like a like a penis like bubble to like protect that part of his penis these are the episodes of friends i need to see it oh my god i mean fuck i think like i would just try and bring

i don't like some of like the sexiness back because i think he's probably associating sex with pain and so i think if you can like really just like play up the hey this is going to be like a like slow very like sexual sexy thing so i mean if maybe like it starts with like instead of like him masturbating like you getting him off with your hands and then maybe your mouth and things that kind of like reintroduce uh like this like i don't know like training wheels of like building back up to that because i think i don't know that's like that when it's something that painful i think you kind of just he's also probably gonna has a hard time separating sex from that instance yeah and you have to communicate too like i don't

know if you've said to him everything you just said on the phone but like tell him that you feel like the spice is gone and that you guys are roommates and that like something like let him know that you want to work on it yeah and that you're willing to do whatever it takes yeah to like make him happy again and knowing that it's not going to go right back to what it was before and that you're okay with like i totally get the situation i'm okay with whatever you can handle right now and also like if if he's like scared of like penetration sex for a while there's so much other stuff that you guys can both do so it's not like you're not getting off at all either of you and i think i mean fuck that just i didn't even know that could happen yeah

ow just like ow because then i also think like if my vagina got hurt from sex i would you'd refrain from for from a while yeah yeah i can imagine but like do you think there's like something he can put on his penis to protect it well he seems to know what to do with himself yeah it's just about like getting back with it together yeah and maybe having a very explicit conversation like hey i know this isn't gonna be sexy but in order for us to be sexy and have sexy time you need to tell me exactly what and what not to do so you can kind of know because he also probably feels a little bit embarrassed by it and not wanting i don't know it's a little like not so macho and so i guess you're right if you have like a real conversation about being

Yeah. And you guys are still young and been married for eight months. Yeah. This is supposed to be your like. Yeah. Your sex life can't be dead. No, no. And it takes six months to heal. And so they haven't had. So he's in like the two months post it. No, he's through the six months. Like he's jacking off. He's been two months post the six months.

So it's been eight. So they've been married for eight months. Did this happen on their wedding night? It happened before they were married. OK. So I wonder how long it's been. because he said she said we used to have sex all the time until a little over a year ago but yeah you guys just gotta fucking talk about it like you said there's so much that they can do like they just need to become comfortable with their bodies again so they've just explore other things and work up to and like you guys just like you said they're still so young and you guys just

got married you have so much more of your life that like you this can't be the new normal this isn't the new standard like does he never want to like put it in anything for the rest of his life like that's that's a long long way it's a really long time it's a really fucking long time so it's gonna start getting into like resentment and just a whole bunch like no people have to not be afraid to talk about sex especially with someone that you're married to yeah and also there's nothing i don't know i think there's that illusion that like talking about sex makes it not sexy but like talking about sex is how you have the best sex because you get what you want And I think both of you, if you're open, communicating with each other, you're both going to be able to enjoy it.

And he's not afraid of you accidentally hurting him because now you know what not to do in the same way. And yeah, he also probably wants you to be happy, too. Thinking about you and your boyfriend's dick at this time. Okay, guys, it is time for Producer's Corner. And for this Producer's Corner, I actually know what it is. So on a previous episode, I'm very curious to get your input on this. in a previous episode um i did what i usually do is i say something controversial and people lose their shit and we're not going to stray away from people losing their shit and we're

going to play a response to a call that um from the episode with taylor where it was episode 30 episode 30 with taylor where we talked about porn and the original question was uh this girl who was saying that her boyfriend her boyfriend was watching porn and she didn't know how to deal with that because she really hated it and needed him to stop and all of that stuff and taylor and i's response which i will say we definitely glazed over the fact that both of us said there are issues with the porn industry but we talked about how uh sex is very natural and porn is very natural and i can state both taylor and i are very pro regulating the safety of sex work and everything like that um and we were met with it's a understatement to say a shit storm of people

who are so anti-porn and think that taylor and i are gonna probably burn in hell which we already are we're gonna hang out there it'll be great um so this is a response that someone called in to say our because our advice to this girl was that every boy a lot of people watch porn and that it's very natural normal and even i stated that i'm not into porn like i don't that doesn't turn me on not my thing but i fully respect people who are consensually a part of something like that because like it is a job it is an industry i know people who've done it and who do it and like so it's about the actual industry not someone watching it yeah yeah so then our whole thing was too is like it doesn't a guy a guy or a girl someone who's into watching porn it doesn't necessarily mean

that they love you less and that they're not into obviously like porn addiction and sex those things are all totally real but our advice wasn't about that it was more about like a girl like a girl dealing with her boyfriend watching porn yeah even like speaking to the addiction thing a lot of people kept saying that in comments but anything can be addictive if you consume too much of it yeah and there's some addictive so i'm on adderall and i have to be otherwise i can't fucking function it's an addictive substance i'm not addicted to it like there's a way you can have healthy relationships with things not that i'm saying like porn like can potentially like super help your life but depending on people's needs and their urges i think if we got rid of every

single thing that was addictive in this world it's about having like healthy relationships with things you can be addicted to people like you can be addicted to anything cheese I read that article about the cheese is more addictive than alcohol and I was like fuck yeah but here's the response hey Megan I'm a 24 year old listener from Germany and I thought I'd share some some insight on um the the porn episode I know it's a bit I think like two episodes ago but yeah right now but um I think I can totally understand the girl being like um jealous and I don't think it's about that he's pleasuring himself which is completely normal and is what when you're in a relationship is something that's completely fine of course it's about what he utilizes for it

so i do see your point that he's just using them as objects to get off i don't however find that very comforting like i don't think that's a very comforting thing to hear like oh yeah he's just using these real women who um when like the main porn industry probably have been through lots of lots of shit uh as objects and um so i would be a bit cautionary there also because like power porn is such a powerful medium it's like visual and audio and um so it can influence you uh quite a bit and when it becomes you your only way or at least like your main way to reach an orgasm quicker you might use you lose yourself in it and it's just this um I think this thought like why does he use porn for it why does he not use uh memories of us for it and I think that's

actually like a real real thing and I can speak from experience here that I I stopped watching porn I think like at least two years ago because I was um like when I was alone um because I was finding that I was not thinking about um my my boyfriend anymore we've been together for like six years now um I was finding we've like I've not been thinking about him anymore when I was getting myself off but just about just these like visual pictures all the time and I thought that this was getting an offhand and I was losing something with him so um if she I don't know I mean your podcast is really really great I just thought if she wanted to reach out for a bit more she might want to listen to Cheryl Straits and Steve Allman's podcast Dear Sugars and they have

two parts about porn and they bring people in who really really know stuff about it but um yeah I just wanted to share like maybe like a different opinion a bit more cautionary hope you still like me and never mind you never knew me but um yeah I'm definitely still going to listen to the podcast uh you're amazing and I really really love the guest you bring on bye first i want to say i did not say that women are objects in porn at all what i did say and i can say this because this was not shot too long ago is something that i i am first of all i think if you're not okay if you feel if you feel that way with like watching porn where it makes you feel like more detached from your partner that's totally fine i feel the same way as i do about

abortion if you don't want to have an abortion that's totally your call but i think everybody needs to make the decisions for themselves and somebody who's in a relationship with someone it is totally your job to like say your insecurities and say things that like don't make you feel great or whatever but when somebody calls into the podcast and asks do you think that i am i being crazy is this something i should get over i'm gonna give the same advice i would give to one of my girlfriends but i think that still means you should have a conversation with your partner and talk to him about it and if it makes you truly very uncomfortable that's on that's totally fine then that's on you but like when you call into the podcast asking a fellow girl for

advice where I'm saying like I'm talking to you like I talked to one of my friends I'm gonna give you that advice ultimately what I did say about is that for me I find it I'm okay with people that I'm dating watching porn if it doesn't get in the way of our sex life and I've definitely been with guys who've watched porn and then be like oh I'm not that horny I'm like yeah but you I know you definitely like jacked off earlier today and like now I don't get to have sex with you because like you're not that horny. And so if it gets in the way of what I desire from like sex with a real in a relationship, totally something I'll bring up. But what I did say was that for me, I'm more okay with my significant other watching porn than I am with him following porn stars or any of like

those girls online and following them on Instagram and Twitter and developing those kinds of non-sexual relationships so when they're not in the mindset of hey i'm gonna jack off and watch videos that i find sexually stimulating i'm at work scrolling through my phone and a picture pops up of this girl that i've seen naked and i see what she's having for lunch that for me i think is more into like that to me is like more something that would bother me more because it's not something that's being used for like a means to an end that's not i'm saying that these women are like objects i'm like they're again i know people who work in the sex industry i think it 100 needs to be regulated with when it comes to like sex trafficking but when it comes to like

people who are consensual and like i love the documentary hot girls wanted which is like so fucked up because it's all these underage not let me not under they're like freshly they're freshly 18 and they're clearly caught up in an industry which is like not treating them well and it's a very sad very like terrible terrible documentary or good documentary about a terrible situation of this amateur porn industry i think there needs to be like insane regulation especially with all of like the sexual harassment claims and people getting into it for reasons um not necessarily that they chose to do so but i don't there are people and situations where they are humans and deserve the same amount of respect so when i said that i would rather somebody

watch porn where that's someone doing their job versus following them online and like getting into their life or whatever which i still stand by if you don't agree with that that's totally fine um i would like to hear your opinions on that makes sense i think um i feel like it just varies by person and people tend to try to project their own experiences like i got from her that she was watching too much porn to the point where it interfered in her relationship so now she sees it from that angle um and i think there are people like it depends like if you some people have a higher sex drive than others yeah some people can watch porn jack off still have sex with their partners same day hours apart and like just go go go some people can't do that and they watch porn

and they're done for the day yeah some people seriously have an addiction and it gets in the way of their relationship so i think it just varies case by case and that there's no like blanket statement that you can put on porn and what people get from it yeah i think that i mean that makes sense also the call wasn't about a girl whose boyfriend was addicted to porn it was somebody who she was uncomfortable with the fact that he watched porn but from the call it wasn't that it was affecting their sex life it was affecting her how she felt about herself um which i think is it's also pretty normal like i dated guys who've like followed Instagram girls who like are brunettes like petite brunettes with like really curvy

bodies which is the exact opposite of me so I'd be like okay that doesn't make me feel great but it's something that has to be a conversation with your partner for it but I think like as like the commenters and exactly like that girl said like if you have a bad experience with it or you're not comfortable with it that's on not that I'm saying that's on you but you can't disregard anybody else's experience with it like I know plenty of girls who enjoy watching porn to get off and they have totally healthy great sex lives with their partners i think it's a unique situation for everybody and again i say this is somebody who like does not get off on porn like not what i enjoy watching but i'm not going to shame somebody else for that and i also think

yeah if someone has an unhealthy relationship with it that's something that needs to be addressed but like the blanket statement that either like the porn industry is good or bad i don't think it's right it's like it's not something you can claim i think we definitely need regulations on things and like the safety of like everybody involved and making sure that everybody involved is like consenting um and i'm sure there are thousands of studies which everybody has like linked us to of uh what it can do to people's um uh people's like self-esteem and other people's sex lives and stuff but also there's tons of people who have healthy relationships with foreign healthy relationships their partners so she was just misunderstanding that since you only

approve of it in video form in that moment that you were calling them up yeah and that's I'm like I think like if you and also like if you're masturbating if your boyfriend or your girlfriend or anybody is masturbating and they don't have like a fantastic photographic memory like of being able to like I would rather my boyfriend jack off to porn than me give him a nude picture of myself for him jack off to because I'm like I don't want that getting out there that's like the memories just like black mirror I can't like rewind and so I think yeah I think you there's again there's definitely like good and bad of it I think the same thing with like just sex work as a whole um I grew up with like a like with people I know working in that industry um in the not the

actual like participation when I was like younger but working in uh like working on laws and protecting people and I think that's what really needs it's it's like it's like it's going to happen those things are always going to happen and I think there's a way to regulate it so people are safe but then every it's it's like alcohol everybody like you might be an alcoholic you don't have a great relation with alcohol doesn't mean that nobody should ever drink alcohol ever I think like you can't like you said you can't deem your own personal experience as what is true for everybody else out there but also it's okay to feel uncomfortable with things but again I guess is just kind of like a statement for like the podcast as a whole. If you call and say, am I

crazy? Am I, am I overreacting? What do you think? I'm going to give my opinions. That's what this is. And I'm also, I, I'm also going to come about it as like what I, how I would talk to my girlfriends. But if there's something like we've had questions that are like very serious, which we've all said, you should talk to professionals. You should talk to a therapist and things like that i didn't deem this question as one of those things because it didn't come about it from like an addiction standpoint it came about it like girl to girl what would you do if you were in the situation and that's how i came about it um but yeah i just want to yeah say that i think that everyone should keep in mind that this show is for entertainment purposes only megan me any of

the guests were not professionals at all this is for like calling in to ask advice from your sister yeah so don't take everything so seriously yeah and we're not gonna have like links and references to different things too because i also as much as we're addressing the kind of negatives that people saw in that episode i saw so many comments of people going uh i watch porn like i have a great relationship with it as a woman it's fine i'm also not going to shame those we kept using the term porn shaming i'm like i'm not going to shame women and men for embracing their sexuality and figuring out what they're into and things like that so in saying that i want it to be regulated and that i thought this girl she shouldn't feel insecure about it um that's

not me saying that yeah i'm i'm not saying that like you i don't know do you know what i mean like it's just like either way there's people you're going to like offend and people who's going to be like oh great i'm so glad you're on my side so that's just my piece don't blame me don't blame me it's in the title it's literally in the title fuckers come on but um we're all friend so yeah we're all friends here and even that girl so if you guys listened um and left like nasty comments look how nice that girl was she called in and she said she's still gonna listen to the podcast afterwards don't worry we still love you we're all entitled to our own opinions here but when someone calls into the podcast they're asking for my opinion so i'm

gonna give it i'm not gonna be fake yeah i'm not gonna be fucking fake i'm gonna i'm gonna be honest so it's okay i'm like cilantro i'm not everybody not everyone likes me i'm an acquired taste the facts i literally am i'm 100 thank god but i am i really am i'm like 50 50 divided soap or delicious i think i'm delicious okay well um kingsley thank you so much for being on this episode oh my god you were great we should have you back thanks i will gladly come back i love like just hearing people give advice and just like all our different viewpoints and like the different experiences we have contributing to a conversation it's really cool i think it's so fun and i love having i love having other people's input on things that changes my mind

about stuff because like we all only come from like our own personal experiences so it's really cool to hear all of that and i just like love hearing the shit that goes down in people's lives i get to live vicariously through them i really do want to follow up on that um drunk i need i need to know i need to know too hey well maybe we'll get the follow-up call and and you can come back for that episode. Yes. And we can hear what happens. I would love that.

Well, where can people find you on the internet? Twitter.com slash Kingsley with three Ys. Same for Instagram and YouTube.com slash Kingsley. Guys, check out his content. It's fabulous. I've been watching for an embarrassingly long time. I know. I remember you from Clevver.

Yeah. Like years ago. I think you know me pre-Nosejob too, probably. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't. When you said that, I kind of was like, what? Oh, the glow up is real. I can't.

But you've been killing it. movies and everything i see i see so congratulations thank you i love that and you guys can always check out uh my socials and mel's in the description as well and if you are watching the video and you want to go listen to the audio version because you just can't get enough or you have nothing else to listen to in your car we're on itunes soundcloud um and then uh apple podcast app obviously and then if you are trying to figure out other ways to listen to it and you're watching on youtube don't blame me dot show and if you guys want to call in so we love responses drunk boy who's fucking his friend you need to call back in and give us an update the

number is 310-694-0976 right sick um international callers which we had a couple in this episode uh email a mp3 file to meganpodcast at gmail.com just record it on your phone audio message or whatever you samsung people do yeah and we will see you guys next week goodbye don't blame me it's a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa demont post production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then

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