Don't Blame Me! - S2E9: Guest: Lucas Cruikshank - Sex For Rent Money?!?!

Episode Date: July 6, 2018

Actor Lucas Cruikshank joins me this week! We discuss what to do if your boyfriend won’t let you hang out with other guys, how to not fantasize about guys that aren’t your boyfriend, and how to handle your friend sleeping with guys for rent money. A listener also shared how she tells her partners she has herpes.-Follow Us On Twitter:@meghanrienks@LucasCruikshank@sheisnotmelissaNeed Advice?www.dontblameme.showDomestic Listeners Call: [phone]International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]… with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:http://youtube.com/meghanrienksSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody, welcome to a new episode of Don't Blame Me. We have Lucas Cruikshank here on this episode and we discussed a mom who pimped out her daughter allegedly, an alleged sex performance, and then neighbors who are smoking the ganja. What do we do? Do we confront them? Do we not? Stay tuned. This episode of Don't Blame Me is brought to you by Casper, a sleep brand that continues

to revolutionize its line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable sleep experience one night at a time. For a limited time, visit casper.com slash savings and save up to $225 off your order. This special offer expires July 9th, 2018. Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Don't Blame Me. Today we have a very tan, you're tan by the way, like very, yeah, you're glowing. I don't even try. It just happens. I mean, even tan in the winter. Are you being sarcastic? No, I literally don't try.

I've done self-tanners before, but that's too much effort. So I just. That's not fair. Oh, I'm so jealous. Well, if you guys can't see it, you can watch it on YouTube. But we have Luke. Oh, my God. I'm like now butchering your first name.

I spent this all this time being like, your last name is like Hermione's cat. Crookshanks. We have Lucas Crookshank here. And I am here. So excited for you to be here. Thank you for having me. Well, you're an internet legend. And you're also just like a great person, too.

And you're one of my favorite Instagram follows. oh my gosh you have great content i've been trying to put effort into my instagram no they're great like you have very good very like premium content that i feel like i must i think i like like your pictures enough that like you're always like in my feed like the same with you two days ago and i'm like yeah your instagram has always been an inspiration it is thank you you have a theme i never have had a theme that's one thing i've never done you've got like good pictures like that's i think that's like what a good theme is is like it's i'm not one for posting pictures just like fit with a theme if it doesn't it's not a good standalone photo yeah but you know

i've decided i need to start taking photos with people more because if i looked at my instagram didn't know myself and looked at my instagram be like he might be a douche oh my because mine's just me modeling dude me i don't know the last time i took a picture with anyone i have people constantly asking me if me and my boyfriend broke up because there's no pictures people always do that with me and matthew too because you're like oh no i just like make him take pictures of me like he's not at least you have photos of like food and stuff like it isn't just you I mean that is true but I will admit in the last month I've done a lot of self-promo and I used to have like every other picture only every other picture I could be in it um and that's a good rule I need

to throw it out the window because my last like nine pictures like me me me me me me me me now I'm just like it can't be like a close-up it has to take a little farther away it's just like my instagram theme right now is myself like the only it looks like i have no friends and i just everywhere i go i'm just like striking poses but you also like captions too though so yeah the captions can help so i feel like my captions redeem me from being a terrible person because again if people just saw it they'd be like this girl's so fucking obsessed with herself but i'm like oh no okay my captions if you read them like they're not earnest but i guess that's kind of the point of instagram but some people it's so funny because like my sisters in nebraska who don't

really use social media they just use like facebook and stuff they're like so what's the point of instagram like i'm not trying to be like rude but like what's the point of posting all these photos of yourself so people tell me i look nice but i'm like oh my job social media so it's my job that's my excuse my excuse is like i just want the validation like i want the brand deals but i also want the validation of people being like you look good in this picture and i'm like oh my gosh thank you so much yeah same well um all that aside guys uh this is if you're tuning in for the first time or if you've been here before this is an advice podcast um we have People who call in, leave voicemails, and we give some really great advice.

I just rewatched the episode with Melvin, and I'm just dying at the facial expressions that we make now, I'm realizing, on video. So I'm pretty excited. So if you guys haven't tuned in on YouTube, it's also going to be on YouTube. But yeah. I'm excited to give some advice. I'm so excited. And also, guys, we officially have Mel Cam, which this is your first time here. But Mel hasn't had a camera before.

Oh, my God. So, she's, like, the ominous voice. Not the ominous. You're not ominous. Like, the... The overarching voice that everyone hears it, but they can't see what I look like. Exactly. And now they can see how great you look.

And you always look... Like, you're always camera ready, which is not me. So, like, this is, like... You're very dressed up today. Fuck you. I'm just saying, you usually have on, like, your sweats and just a t-shirt when we're at your house. Well, I haven't done laundry, so none of my sweatpants were clean.

and then I flew in my leggings so like six and a half hours and I might have spilled some popcorn and Diet Coke on them so I have to wear a dress and if you zoom in close you can probably see my nipples

because I looked in the mirror and I was like I see some areola but you know like it's going to be fine but yeah I'm so excited you have a camera me too

I can't wait so guys YouTube check it see what Mal looks like she's the best if you guys want to call in and tell us what's happening in your life and get our advice

the phone number is 310-694-0976 again 310-694-0976 did it right and for international listeners meganpodcasts at gmail.com email a audio file and if you haven't listened to the previous episodes uh you might not know i'm a little slow i got a concussion i'm like working through it but it's like it's an uphill battle and i was on an airplane which apparently makes your brain swell yeah oh my gosh yeah that's scary i don't want to know that yeah no and i just landed at like 3 a.m last night and i'm like brain is definitely swollen so if i'm a little more stupid today i didn't say stupider because that's not a word right i said that stupid i'm more stupid yeah okay great i didn't go to college um you were there a few months i was there um

okay but enough babbling aside uh and we'll hop into calls let's do it excited i'm 23 and live in Maine so I just moved into a new apartment about a month ago and I really really love it I'm finally out of a terrible living situation I have one big problem and that is my downstairs neighbors they smoke both cigarettes and weed a lot and it's all I can smell it like seeps up through my floors specifically in my bathroom where there's no ventilation it just comes right up in and it's all I can smell I'll walk home from I'll come home from work and I'll come inside and it's all I smell I don't smoke my partner doesn't as well so we're both just kind of like annoyed I'm constantly burning incense candles I have those glade plugins I have air fresheners and

nothing completely covers the front. And I'm not a confrontational person. I'm not comfortable with just going and knocking on their door, leaving a note saying, can you not? But our property agency doesn't allow smoking in the building. So I'm wondering if maybe I should contact them. I don't know. I don't want to be the problematic new neighbor who tattletales. So some advice would be great. Thank you so much. Oh, no. Oh, no. I mean, I'll be the first to admit, I'm quite confrontational, especially if I'm right.

Like, I don't want if someone else comes at me with confrontation that I don't like. Like, I like to be the one who comes at it if I'm right. But I mean, like, that's just like a stinky situation. Have you ever experienced that? Have you ever had any of your living situations? Not. I've had, like, terrible, like, roommates and neighbors, I say. might be having that right now where there's like it's like an issue because like do whatever you

fucking want with your own time like i mean don't smoke cigarettes because like lung cancer um but like smoke weed like whatever like do your whole thing and i don't really care how anybody else lives as long as it doesn't like affect my life but i have like my i whatever i'll just say my neighbors have dogs that are so incredibly loud oh that would suck and so i'm kind of toying with the idea of being like do i like tell tell them like you need to get your dogs under control because like they're so loud and i want to get a dog and i'm like worried for the well-being of my dog because your dogs are crazy or do i like go behind them and like tell my like landlord or whatever and say something like that so i think like i mean i also have friends who like smoke

weed and have had like their neighbors be like hey um like my apartment kind of smells like weed because you smoke a lot of weed and they've been like oh shit okay so i think like from that my my automatic thing would be to say something to them because I think it's like giving them the benefit of the doubt like that's pretty fucking embarrassing like if someone might not know no they might not know at all and also if someone knocked on my door and was like hey you've been blasting Carly Rae Jepsen really loud really early in the morning I would I wouldn't just like be like well fuck you I would be like oh my gosh I'm so mortified and embarrassed like let me try and fix the problem so I think also like what happens if like you tell like your landlord or your

building manager or whatever and then like they call your neighbors and they're like yeah your neighbors like right next door like they yeah i would be scared of that and then you have them attacking you they might not do anything because like i feel like everywhere says like we're smoke free complex that's where i live it says that but then like the apartment the hallways always smell like weed and does it bother you it doesn't get into my apartment though luckily but my apartment does sometimes smell like bacon and like other foods which i kind of like it's only in the bathroom like this girl said i don't know what what it is with bathrooms ventilation but yeah Like my bathroom will smell like the food my neighbors make, but he makes good food.

Yeah, as long as it's not like fishy. I never have had like the weed get in, which is good. But I wouldn't want all my clothes and stuff to smell like cigarettes. So I was helping my sister move from her apartment and all of her clothes smelled like cigarettes. And I was like, do you smoke? And she was like, no, but I guess her neighbors do and it gets into her apartment. So now her whole wardrobe just smells like cigarettes. Oh, that sucks.

Unless she was lying and she's secretly a smoker. And didn't want to tell her older brother. I don't know. Which also could be true. um no but I mean I think that's a good point then I think like I what I would do is I would first oh fuck I mean I say that I would first talk to my neighbors like I don't know I think I'd be too scared to do that too I would maybe leave a note but I feel like she lives in a small building because she seems like I live in a big complex so I know they wouldn't know it was me yeah but

I feel like this complex it sounds like they'll know yeah so I mean I'm with I'm kind of with Mel like I to avoid confrontation to avoid like actually talking to them and like seeing them i would probably snitch and then like fully go all middle school with like landlord and be like please don't tell him it was me yeah because like that if she's living above them and they're below her it's probably they can probably smell it at the door like if anybody just walked by i'm guessing you can smell it so it wouldn't necessarily come have to come from her yeah actually it's probably less likely to people think it'd be like the neighbors right next unless i think i would do like a lie i wouldn't have it be me i'd be like my my my roommate has asthma or something blame

it on something else yeah and say they have asthma so it's more serious fake a medical condition but then so then they'll know that they can't like it's actually going to affect even more than just like a nuisance like she has asthma don't smoke in the apartment and be like and i totally don't mind it's just like her yeah it's like then they'll find out like you don't have a roommate but that's what i would do i would have a baby with some sort of like i'm pregnant that's also something i thought of like saying you have like a little kid in there or something so my advice is to yeah do like an elaborate lie yeah do an elaborate lie but also when you do your elaborate lie make sure you're not incriminating yourself in a way that like like i don't know like maybe

you're you're if you say like oh it's like really affecting my dog and you're allowed to have dogs like don't do anything like that so like make sure whatever you're whoever you're like looping in i always used to do this is so fucked up when i would like make excuses for things oh it's i feel like i can't even say this but i would always like you know how someone if they make an excuse um or it's like say they can't do something or like late homework and they'll like say that there's like a tragedy in the family or whatever which i think is like you're just jinxing it i would always just like pick like either a family member that doesn't exist or like a family member that i'm like well it can't be jinxed like they're already gone right i would say something like

that i'd be like i'm so sorry i couldn't like my grandma passed i'm like little do they know like yes grandma passed when i was 10 but like gonna use it as my excuse right now and also your grandma like if there is a heaven is probably just laughing and enjoying it yes get it she's probably loving seeing you do that completely being like please use it to your benefit but i feel like the neighbor won't be that mad it's like they're gonna be like what the fuck is like that's understandable you know what i mean no completely like if your weed habits are actually like affecting your neighbors and like getting in their apartment like can't they just smoke outside or like a block away or in their car switch to vape or edibles or something yeah and also the cigarettes

too that's something that like they're also going to have to do because it ruins your walls and like all of that stuff like it gets that like yellowy kind of gross stuff so like they're gonna have to pay all this money to when they eventually move out to like fix all that stuff so i say either leave a note um or uh or just snitch and do go to your landlords and say that because i think if you're less afraid of confrontation than than us then leave the note and then be like okay i checked off that box and then if nothing happens then like call your landlord and you can like tell like yourself that you're like well i tried the not um like telling those powers or whatever the powers that be um but then yeah if i can do that you could also tell the landlord to say they

smelled it say like yeah tell the landlord to be like i was walking through the building and i noticed it really smells like weed and just not even mention the neighbor yeah and also if you're if you're if you're a good tenant your landlord will like look out for you in that sense well that's smart that's a good idea i hope that gets fixed because that would actually suck i was always worried about that because we live in los angeles and just like everywhere smells like weed so like i want to have like my where like i live i don't want that to also just be because you'll be walking down you'll be walking down the street here and you'll just get like a whole cloud of weed in your face will smell like weed for like three days and i'm like okay sick nice and i'm

like and i didn't even get high it's like it's not even worth it i always wonder like when you're on the sidewalk and like a huge cloud hits you i'm like am i gonna get a contact line i'm not sure it hasn't happened yet but my friend went to a woods khalifa concert was like convinced she was like fully contact high and i was like i mean that that seems possible yeah that could be they like hot box the whole theater i'm sure doesn't he have his own farm i actually just heard that recently too because i'm obsessed with the real the talk show it's anyone i don't know i know you're talking fucking obsessed with it and they were talking about it i know a cheater girl's on it so i should be watching except now she's adrian um houghton she got married i'm like such a huge

fan of them but um they like apparently he has his own weed farm and so does snoop dog and uh melissa etheridge yeah so random i know i know a lot of people have their own strains like whoopi Goldberg has one, I think. Oh, whoopee. Jeffree Star, I think, has one. Oh, wow. We should get into the weed business. Oh my god, we should. It's going to be lucrative. I don't even smoke, but I want to make the money. Yeah, I'm a little too paranoid unless

I'm like, just going to go to bed. I think we helped, hopefully. Should we go on to the next one? So I'm almost 18 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. And he's my best friend and I love him and everything, but he's really insecure about me having guy friends, whether they're straight or gay.

He tells me that his dad had this rule that his mom can't bring out i can't hang out with any of her guy friends one-on-one and that that's like going on a date so his dad i guess told him or raised him like this and he said it's an old school practice but when i told my boyfriend that there's nothing to worry about because my gay guy friends would never come on to me like that nor my guy friends in general he just gets jealous and insecure he also gets insecure when i hang out with my hit without sorry when i hang out with his best friend even though his best friend is dating one of my good friends i don't know what to do because i've tried telling him it's fucking 2018 guys and

girls can be friends without fucking each other i don't know what else to tell him because i feel like this is an unhealthy mindset for him and sometimes i feel like he's starting to bring this onto me because i never used to get really jealous like this until i started dating him i don't know if it's a me thing or if it's even possible for him to bring his insecurities onto me but yeah i don't know what to do and i kind of need your advice how long were they dating we don't know she's just 18 so yeah she's almost 18 she's almost 18 i'm like is your dad mike pence i know i'm like who the also i wasn't curious do you think his parents are still married like that sucks for the mom that sounds literally she can have no gay friends oh my she can have

no friends and like just just only female friends yeah and that's just an like to me that sounds like i keep my wife locked in a closet she's allowed to come out and see the light yeah literally like that's crazy that's like half the population she isn't allowed to talk to yeah i mean like that just first of all like that that poor kid like not to like that poor kid like that like the your boyfriend like the idea that he heard that and it wasn't like wow this is so oppressive to my mom and this is more like oh this is a smart thing that my dad did that's so sad to me that's kind of like where you associate this being like yes this is an old school practice i'm like do you like your mom like do you think that's fair to your mom at all like i don't know

if she's still in the picture um i mean i sure as fucking hell wouldn't be um i don't know i mean like my not my I mean like my automatic that I would just just dump him like it's not like tell him this sucks and be like just because your dad did it doesn't mean you have yeah your dad sounds like a piece of shit I wouldn't say that I mean I might say that but no I just think I don't it's so hard to give someone advice being like you should just break up with them because obviously i don't know like all of that stuff but this is so not normal and you're so right and all of her instincts are right with saying like it's 2018 guys and girls can be friends so i think yes he can bring those insecurities on you because he's associating uh like opposite sex friendships with

something to be jealous about so you're gonna feel jealous when he like talks to any other girl because he's made you think that that in his mind that represents like cheating or romance or something like that it's like yeah he can't put those insecurities on you and um i would fuck i just i just it just seems like he obviously doesn't have any trust you know what i mean yeah and like i don't know like if if my boyfriend told me like for even if he if he told me i couldn't be friends with like my i have like two of my best friends are straight guys and they both have girlfriends but like i have been friends with one of like predating but predating one of their girlfriends but like we're really really really close like we tell each other pretty much

everything and if my boyfriend told me i couldn't be friends with them i'd be like what the fuck but then if my boyfriend told me i couldn't be friends with like like my gay friends i'd be like what i'd be so that's a whole nother level it is just like would just be so confusing to me because i'm like i'm sorry what about our relationship makes you uncomfortable yeah i had a really close girlfriend and she was single and we like would have sleepovers and all that stuff and then she got a boyfriend and he was kind of weird like he's in your bed and i was like oh i like didn't even think about it i was like i didn't even know that'd be an issue like we can't share the same bed anymore like we're aren't attracted to each other i'm gay i'm like

not gonna not that's i mean yeah so i've kind of experienced this yeah because he was like weird about it is he still weird are they still together i'm actually not like that close to friends with her anymore but i think they broke up but i remember also like he was just jealous of me in other ways too like she posted a photo in the bathtub one time and her mom took it which i don't know it's kind of funny and it's all right but he like called her and was like did lucas take that photo of you in the bathtub huh and it's like i'm like the gayest person ever like i actually kind of liked it because i was like a straight guy's like jealous of me go me i might think like that movie um kick ass where he pretended to be gay so that he could get close

to the girl i've never seen that yeah that chloe gray also did you watch the show cheaters it's like the reality show yeah where they got stabbed and did i never that was the host got stabbed yeah and didn't did he die no he didn't die film it yeah it was all on camera but one of those episodes was about a girl and her gay best friend like having sex and the guy because he was like i just know there's something more to this friendship and then he put like cameras in her apartment and they were actually having sex. Shut up. Oh my god.

This probably isn't what the boyfriend wants to hear right now. Like don't let your boyfriend listen to this. That's probably what he's thinking though. That's ridiculous. But it's stupid. He should just trust her enough that she wouldn't have sex with her. My theory is like I want to put whoever I'm with in every situation to cheat so if they do cheat I know.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't want to like withhold them from stuff. I'd rather just know like if they're the type of person to cheat i'd rather just know yeah and there's something like i don't know there's something not only are you not giving um like you're not giving anyone credit in that situation like i like i don't necessarily get when guys are like well no it's not about you it's about like i know you wouldn't do anything but like what if somebody else so if you want to make that argument about like her having a straight guy friend my biggest issue with that it's like if you're gonna date somebody

you should date somebody that you trust that isn't going to just like have sex with somebody else and also like isn't going to like you know assault her gay friend and like be like I know you're not attracted to me but like that's that to me it's like there's just such a it's a I don't know such a closed-minded thing like all like well I have sleepovers with my gay best friend and we like fully cuddle and my boyfriend has to sleep on the couch because I'm like you have to you can't sleep here like we haven't seen each other in months so that to me is just I would say my advice would be dump him just because I think it's also like early signs of controlling abusive relationship

or if you really like him maybe just try saying like why are we maybe try to say just like this isn't normal maybe like you said maybe he this is his whole life he thought this was normal and someone just needs to tell him and he just needs to be like no yeah or just like don't just be like you're wrong I'm just gonna keep doing this and either you can deal or you don't

then yeah just break up that's what I would say I would just really break up with him it doesn't seem like it plus you're almost 18 I know, you have to lose all of these friends. That would suck. No, that's not good. Like, just look at his mom, and if she probably looks...

Is she miserable? Yeah. She can't leave the house. Does she smile? Okay, on to the next call. I'm 21 years old, and I've been dating my boyfriend for three and a half years now. He's the guy that I ended up losing my virginity to. And while it was definitely a learning curve, we have really good sex now.

um before I dated him I like messed around and did other stuff with other guys in terms of making out and oral sex and things like that but I can definitely tell that even with that my boyfriend is much better because he actually cares about me enjoying it in the end whereas these other guys really didn't give a shit um well I still sometimes have this voice in the back of my head that wonders what sex with other people would be like and I feel guilty when I think about this because I'm never sick of cheating on my boyfriend or, like, breaking up with him since our relationship was really good. It just makes me feel like I'm a bad person,

and I just don't want to feel that way, and I don't know if that's normal. I should also mention that my boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship right now, and so we don't have sex regularly, and we only are able to see each other and have sex about every three months, so it definitely makes it hard. wow that's some fucking willpower three months yeah that's crazy i'm also curious why they're long distance because like she's 21 or she's almost 21 are you in college at that age yeah okay that's fine maybe maybe they met on myspace on myspace dream fucking goals um

i don't know i feel like i'm excited to hear your both of your opinions on this too because i'm i i'm like a very i'm a very committed person in the way that like i could i can i've like definitely like hooked up with more people than i've liked like i can like count on maybe two like maybe one hand the amount of people i've like really had feelings for and so like i'm the kind of person where um i would be into somebody for like a long time then one day i'd wake up have zero feelings for them at all and then wouldn't like anybody at all for a really long time and then like somebody again and like them for a really long time um so i i just i don't i don't know like there's i've definitely been seeing guys who i'm like oh wow they're like cute or

attractive or whatever but i've never um i don't know i've never really like wondered like oh what would it be like to have sex with this person or i wait like i wonder what sex with other people would be like but i guess it's because she lost her virginity because like i mean i know what it's like it's like not to call myself i'm not definitely like whatever yeah whatever like i've slept with like more than just like my boyfriend and so like i i can like definitively say that i don't know like at like at the age that i'm at and like the people that i've been with and stuff like i don't feel like i've missed i feel like i missed out on a lot because i'm like i did all of that and them um so i don't so i i i but i also think like if i i don't know like if i

when you when you think about the aspect of like if you meet somebody that whole idea of timing or whatever i kind of usually like subscribe more to the belief that it's more about like where you're personally at but also like if i met i don't know if i met him and we started dating when we i was like 17 or something i don't know how long our relationship would last because i think the reason why we're able to be like serious and like so invested in our future is because we've both been like around the block a couple times yeah like we've already done it yeah and so you can kind of make like a more educated decision with that so i don't this is like my long-winded way of saying like i don't think that that's um i understand feeling guilty but i don't

think that's a weird feeling at all yeah i don't think it's weird either especially considering she lost her virginity to him it's normal to think like I wonder what sex would be like with other people she probably is just like but then like she said didn't she say that he was way better at it than anything so I guess if it makes you feel any better probably

if you had one night stands they wouldn't be as good as with someone who knows your body and stuff or maybe they would be way better and you're missing out just kidding but I can understand I don't think it's weird she's feeling that and as long as you still she still loves her boyfriend and stuff i mean it's just a thought it's like you actually cheated on him so it's probably just normal and

fine i would also just like keep your feelings in check and check in with yourself because that i don't know what we every time we talk about long-distance relationships we always uh bring back the whole uh that it needs to there needs to be definitive end like the the long distance part needs to be it's a means to an end it has a specific date when it's ending so i don't know if there i'm hoping there is one like that for you guys but because i think like the fact that if you're not seeing you're only seeing him every three months and having sex with him then it's so natural for you to i mean they get like fucking horny yeah you got desires yeah this feels like this is starting to be my answer for everything but are you masturbating i know yeah

i'm like please yeah this you can't rely on just your partner to like get you off especially when it's long distance oh my god i just know you yeah you gotta do some self-care you can look at other guys but don't if you want to be committed to your boyfriend then stay committed to your boyfriend rumbling out and call it a day exactly and then if like a couple months down the road or years down the road you're like oh no i am interested in like sleeping with other people and you're still like super into your boyfriend i think i don't know i think there's like a way like they're pretty young but like bringing up the aspect with him like hey I'm would be into bringing somebody else into this at some point or would you be in not saying like into having an open relationship

but like if you're if you guys if you still want to end up with him I think you have to address the hurdles of like oh I'm like attracted to other people or anything like that I don't think that necessarily means that you guys can't like be together yeah you just need to have that open dialogue with him because otherwise like even if you don't do anything the guilt itself for just thinking those things will like totally eat you alive like i've had like random sex dreams about people who like i i'm not attracted to or whatever same and i literally i'll wake up and i'll be like that was me this weekend and like mots will not listen to this for a really long time or whatever but i had a sex dream about someone who was not fucking him and it also happened because i was

like really pissed at him when we fell asleep um i was like and so like i had a sex dream about somebody else and i woke up and i was like like first of all nauseous like yeah what the fuck was that and it wasn't even like a full sex dream yeah and so like I'm also like very nervous to see this person whenever I eventually see this person to be like oh whatever but that like oh my god where was I even going with this concussion

sometimes you have sex dreams about people you fantasize about people that you don't necessarily want to be with yeah I think that's what I had sex dreams about I remember when high school had a sex dream about a girl who I didn't talk to and like I'm not attracted to girls so I don't know what that means but if anyone's a dream interpreter

it was the guilt like that whole thing like i understand the guilt of that and so like there's a like you you can't internalize everything because it's going that is just in turn you think by not speaking out it's going to like preserve your relationship but that guilt in itself will manifest in issues and yeah so i would say masturbate and then you know hopefully when you guys are like back together for a longer period of time you're obviously yeah you're obviously unless your boyfriend's like i don't know i don't I don't want male nudes all the time, but if I see a hot guy, I'm like,

pretty fucking hot. I think that's just normal, yeah. Also, you could role play and ask him to pretend to be someone else. Oh yeah, you can put on wigs, fake mustaches. I could do a Shane Dawson wig. Yeah, like some Party City wig.

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, that could be a thing. You could experience what it's like to have sex with all his different characters. Maybe he'll realize it's not attractive. Right. That's so true. Uh, yeah, but I think it's normal. I wouldn't, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Okay guys, we are going to take a quick break and then we'll be back. This episode of don't blame me is brought to you by Casper. Casper is a sleep brand that

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Okay, guys, we are back from our break. and we're going to hop into more calls. I'm 20 and I'm from Texas. And my question is about a friend. So about a year ago, the time last summer, I was friends with a girl from my hometown in Dallas.

And we have been close since high school. I'm a junior now in college. And so we've been friends for a long time. And she told me one weekend that because money was tight with her family it was just her her mom and her brother that she her mom drove her down to houston which is a good drive i mean that's just a hot skip in a way and she had sex with like a 45 50 year old man who then later paid for their monthly rent and like got to get back home and all this stuff and she later on was like you know i think i like him

and I'm like she was friends with the guy's son and then ended up coming out and she went to me for a consultant and I did for a really long time like two months but something about it just hurt my soul I don't know if that sounds bad or not but like this is wrong and we're not friends anymore because I didn't know how not to treat her but how to be her friend anymore because something in what she thought was okay and what I thought was okay was so completely different and I tried talking to her not about that just but just like felt stuff and she just you know wouldn't talk she just fizzled out of the friendship and yes my question is was I wrong for not ending a friendship over it but that being the first straw to my friendship ending um she tried reaching out

and I haven't really responded because I don't know if I need that drama in my life right now so am i a horrible person so the the family was struggling so they've somehow found this sugar daddy i don't know what and then so she has to go how old were they 45 i think they're 20 and then the guy is like 45 50 does she have to like pretend to be his boyfriend for a weekend i don't know but she's friends with the guys like she took the sun yeah oh my god wow wow but she said that she's starting to develop a crush on the dad not the dad i'm like on the daddy on the daddy the sugar daddy that's what i'm thinking in my head on the daddy yeah wow um god you're not so to address her question you're not a terrible person this is a fuck ton

of drama and i am giving you the advice that i definitely would not have taken like i was like when i was younger like if any i was also like a highly anxious kid so like if anybody else was i wish i was more compassionate when i was younger to like other people going through stuff but like i was like a fucking sponge and if like i like had so many like emotional issues and like anxiety and stuff that like if somebody was going through something like that it just i would absorb all of it and i would become like a complete mess and so like there were definitely some friendships which i didn't stick out because i was like i can't handle this so i think if you can handle it i would respond to her and reach out because like like mel said that's kind of like her mom

essentially whored her out not like that wasn't trying to be like funny but like pimped her out to whatever the PC term of that is for a very un-PC thing to this guy so I don't it just it sounds like god I sound like such a mom being like it sounds like

that girl really could use a friend and could potentially use I don't know but the thing is they're 20 and she's okay with it are they dating though? is she like dating the older guy or they're done? don't know she kind of has a crush on him but i don't know if they're dating or anything i'm

guessing she's probably done it more than once yeah yeah did she know the transaction like yeah she knew what was happening until before or after before wow oh okay fuck yeah i mean yeah you are 20 so it's not it's it isn't your problem or your business i think if you have maybe maybe be like open door policy don't reach out to her but if she reaches out to you and in like hey i could really use somebody to talk to totally go for it but if she's like hey let's like grab drinks and like do something you know what i mean like if she's reaching out because she like needs some like friendship help maybe go for it but if she just wants to like be the casual like let's go to target and you're like i don't really want to go to target with you maybe that's it because

Yeah, I don't even know. This is, like, such a complicated situation. You mean you've never been in this situation before? Because, like you said, she's 20, and if she's okay with it, like, is it? I don't know. It's so weird. It's one of those things, like, if she is actually fine with, like, I like this guy, and, like, if we have sex, it pays for my whole family's rent.

Yeah, which, I mean, it's no different than when we had the girl call in. She was a sugar baby. That's true. There's no difference. But if it's something where, like, the mom's, like, putting pressure, like, you don't have to do it but like otherwise we will have to sell the house but that sort of thing then obviously that's like putting unnecessary pressure on her and it's a whole different dynamic but i mean i don't really know and if the friend is just not okay with it and can't move past it then

it will maybe they just i don't know i have no idea well because i don't think you should ever like i don't know like you should never put yourself in a place where you feel uncomfortable to like maintain a friendship because it's also like a pity friendship and like the person you're friends with can like definitely be like uh read that and so i think you have to prioritize like yourself in that the only thing that is just like catching me is like the mom thing so i mean like i've definitely been i've definitely had friendships with people where um i've stepped away or they've stepped away or that we both kind of have because it's we don't agree on i don't know like one of their lifestyle choices or whatever but also those people in my life know that if like anything ever

happened like i would still totally be there for them and i i would follow through on that but i'm not going to like maintain and like waste my like mental energy and my time in a friendship that isn't like mutually beneficial like i don't want to be friends with something if you're not if it's just adding stress and all that anxiety to your life i think there's a way to kind of like gracefully back away from the friendship but it sounds like they've she said they're not as close anymore yeah they're not as close i think my thing is did the mom pressure her into doing it and if she pressured her and you're concerned about her being the influence that her mom has on her that's another issue and also that's just like i like there it's yeah we we the advice we have for the other sugar

baby i'm like yeah you do you because that was all her choice your own choice and by your own volition right that's the right word concussion who's that um but so but yeah i think the thing it's with the mom that's what stresses me out and also yeah being i don't know if she's in school or um and having to provide for like multiple people but i think yeah i think is like maybe maybe if you want to do like one final like reach out and like try and have a conversation with her about it and then kind of express your concern and see if she is getting pressured and if she is you should be like this isn't okay obviously and you don't have to do this and you guys can find another way to make money yeah and and try and step in as like a friend there and so yeah

if you want to do like one final like try and talk about it with her like that but i think if she's not receptive to that we've said so many times like you can't change people's lifestyle choices you can only like change you can only like just really uphold what you're comfortable with and if you're and there's i think you're totally fair to not be comfortable with this situation because i yeah i would feel i'd feel pretty fucking weird yeah yeah it's because they've been friends for like a long time and then this randomly just started happening right yeah i'm also like i don't know i that's so weird yeah it's a whole weird situation yeah and then you just feel like that weird sense of guilt too because you're like oh so yeah maybe talk to her

but um you're not a bad person if you can't stay friends with her through that but then yeah just like be let her know that uh your your door is open if she like maybe has like a come to jesus moment and it's like oh no jesus take the wheel next call time hey i'm 17 years old and recently my best girlfriend decided to have sex with my best guy friend after i told her that i liked him And I wanted her to just ask him how he felt about me. Obviously, I didn't, like, force her. But she was like, oh, my gosh, that's so cute. You guys would be so cute together.

I'm going to find out for you. This will be so much fun. She was super into it. And then she had a birthday party on my mom's birthday. So I didn't go because it was my mom's birthday. And she didn't invite me. Our mutual friend invited me to her house. And I've never been to her house because she has a bad relationship with her parents.

So I didn't feel comfortable being invited by someone else. But they slept together in front of a few people, and those people were uncomfortable. And as soon as I saw them, like, a few days after, they were acting super weird around me, and I didn't know why. and I asked them I was like what's up like and they're like oh nothing and then they went to the mall together and I ran into them and they're like oh yeah come on in like come hang out with us but they ditched me and they ignored me and recently I found out a few weeks after um through another one of our mutual friends who was at the party and I confronted her about it and she's like oh i regret it but now they're dating and obviously i want the best for him because i care about him

so much he's my best guy friend but things are super awkward and i don't know how to forgive her do you have any advice thanks sorry the message was so long don't forgive her no so her best guy friend and her best girlfriend had sex in front of an audience yes what is that that was glazed over far too fucking is this what happens like in 2018 high school like i'm so happy oh my god living there's so much in this call there's there's a lot to that girl is not your friend like no and that guy is not your friend either and you have to you have to hold i've said this before you have to fucking hold your like the your romantic relationships and your friendships to the same standards like if you wouldn't let a friend do that to you don't

let a guy do that to you or what whoever you're interested in like you maybe he didn't know she had feelings for him but like at the same he ditched her at the mall too and it's like all of that stuff like that's like that's not yeah also the fact that she asked her friend to ask the guy about when did she want didn't she want her best friend to ask the guy about like if he liked her

and then she I feel like she was like a weird like she was trying to be like competitive I don't even know like she like found out her friend liked a guy she's like well I'm gonna have sex with him in front of an audience but she didn't even invite her to her birthday party there's so many signs that's why I wasn't sure about it yeah oh my gosh

she's just not your friend um weirdly enough i don't i i've never been in a similar situation but i had somebody tell me not someone i'm like close to um but someone told me that they were like i'm having like friendship i like must like just like wave a sign off my head be like get let me give you advice like i love doing that and they were telling me that i get that they had this friend that they were trying to uh figure out if they wanted to like if she wanted to mend things because this girl uh was supposed to do the same thing and like be the solid like uh uh like wing woman or whatever to tell this guy that she was into him and then she ended up sleeping with that guy

and was like oh no i regret it we never did it again and then ended up doing it for a while and she was like i don't know if i should forgive her like obviously i'm not gonna talk to that guy anymore i'm like but you you have to like i don't know like you as much as you want good things for him and he you you say he's like your best guy friend and stuff those just traits to me take away the whole like having sex in a party in public or whatever thing which i really really wish we had more clarity i know i i that need like you said it was in front of two or three people who felt uncomfortable why did they just walk out yes like what are you like are you like physically doing don't leave and you're like oh good gosh we're in an elevator but like i like

how the birthday party turned into that like what were the stages literally like oh my gosh if my friend didn't invite me to her birthday party and then um my best guy friend and one of my best girlfriends invited me to like go hang out with them at the mall and then they like stood me up and ditched me. Like I would still be upset with you. Even if it wasn't like you liked him

and she, all of that, like that just would be messed up. Shitty friends. You weren't invited to the birthday? Did she have a reasoning for that? I thought it was because her mom's birthday was the same day.

Yeah, but you still could have invited her. Oh, she still didn't even invite her. She didn't invite her. Her friends, their mutual friend invited her. And she still went at some point. Oh no. And we think that that was a coincidence

that her birthday party was on your mom's birthday and she knew you couldn't go just sounds like they're shitty friends because even yeah just the malls if i went somewhere that people invited me and they ditched me i'd be like well i'm never gonna talk to them again like this is so awkward i'm just at the beverly center alone with the fucking beverly that i spent 45 minutes parking and i have no one to hang out with i know because ditching is like where they like they like snuck out they snuck out of the hangout like that's so shitty so mean like these people just as much as you say they're best friends like they're not your friends no and coming from somebody who's like definitely

like called some people my friends who i really shouldn't have because i'm like hey you're not that nice to me it's you don't have to settle for shitty friends like no matter how great that they are these pitfalls and these negatives of them aren't things that you have to tolerate in any sort of friendship so it's not like oh well if i get another best friend they're probably also gonna sleep with the guy that i like like that's not a thing no like you so it's not worth it to maintain a friendship with people who would even consider and have done such terrible things to you yeah like if you want to forgive them to make yourself your conscience feel better forgive her but she doesn't have to be your friend no whatever and don't trust her at all or him or him yeah it's

like there's two equal parties in that and also as much as like he might not have known that she had feelings for him i don't like there's there's so is the ditching yeah there's that and there's also something like i i mean i've known when people have had like somewhat feelings for me even if they haven't told me so like there's kind of that thing or also like if you guys were really really good friends um and she is is i wonder if this other girl is she has good friends with him like well she is now now i mean now they're a little more than friends but i don't know like if my guy friend was into one of my friends he would also tell me about it do you know what i mean yeah so like you were kind of just like kept in the dark from everything and like a drunk party

hook up like i get that but like i also don't get the audience aspect like are they on a dance floor like is it i know how in public is it because they said like two or three people so that's like weirdly intimate yet also no it's like that's so weird what situation yeah and did it actually happen because that sounds like a rumor type there was a sex performance got fucked by a toothbrush like this sounds like a rumor yeah like did it actually happen i feel like maybe like we're making out and people like they might have had sex we don't know or something like that boner they had sex with their clothes I thought the phone call was gonna go like

then my best friend started having feelings for him and I don't know how to feel but it was like she had a they did a sex performance an interpretive sex art performance in front of people like that was her birthday show it's like my super sweet 16 and she like comes down from there it was also funny that it was her birthday she's like

come to my house watch me have sex like welcome to the show it's Britney bitch like what That's so insane to me These aren't your best friends No they're also just Some exhibitionists right

That's the word But you have some good material for a story time for a YouTube video You should become a YouTuber Wow that's actually crazy Like so crazy I'm sorry you have to deal with those that sucks Because that sucks in high school You do kind of feel like you have to be friends

Because you're like there's no one else but there is And you'll find maybe you can become friends of one of the people who was watching the performance. One of them was scarred. You could just be like, tell me about your experience. You both can,

both can, really, move past it together. You guys were scarred visually. I was scarred emotionally. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. And yeah, I think you can be civil just like Mel said. You can forgive them for your own conscience. Be civil. And move on.

Move the fuck on. Yes. Yeah. And find out more about like the public sex life. Yeah. And call back. ask the two to three friends

yeah I do agree with you I feel like that has to be a rumor yeah unless maybe it actually then who knows but also like yeah why did they have to be there like do you like that's like who were they locked in a room if they felt kind of uncomfortable like just leave just leave

so like and also like imagine you walk into so this is how just in my head I pictured it like you like you're at a party typical party like house setting there's like some like dark bedroom very like easy a thing there's like a couple like either hooking up in there and you just like walk in you're like whoa and you don't leave yeah or the worst thing is like you're just like sitting on said bed or like in there just like hanging

out like smoking weed and then two people start making out and having sex and you don't live you were oh wait you've done a sex performance no i mean whatever you consider that um no oh you were like in bunk beds and they were above you that's what but there was a second for me where i was just like there were two stories that immediately came to my head no one of them was i like made out with this guy that i was dating in high school we like hardcore made out um this was the time that like the thing that like fulfills my ego constantly is that he like came in his pants and like still to this day like i carry that with me like a moment of pride yeah but my best friend was like on the couch next to us pretending to be asleep and she like wasn't

actually asleep and then she said i owed her we were like yeah 15 16 and she was like so mad at me and then she was like but you know what i'm like over it like you just owe me big time she didn't cash in that whole thing like i owed her until we were like 22 okay i'm sorry for laughing at your life but this is really great material and you're better than this but i also please just like give us a call back even if there's no advice i just want to know the clarification yeah yeah just call back and let us know like what really happened with like the public sex thing yes maybe call it maybe have like a witness gather the witnesses oh god i love it okay so now we have producer's corner which this is where

mel picks a question or not really even picks a question it's more like we've got the either we've got like a response or a callback um from someone either giving their own advice because i'm clearly not great at it based on a different question if they have any more personal experience with it or someone updating us so yeah so this is a callback well it's not a callback it's a response to a question from um the episode we did with grace grace albick and um it was a question in regards to a girl who had herpes and she was wondering how to tell her partner and so we have someone calling who has experience with that okay so i too and i'm the same position as a caller. I was diagnosed around the same time when I was 22 as well. And it's been a journey of

self-acceptance and self-love all over again after that. But I wanted to say that the most important thing is to be educated yourself. So when you go to tell someone, usually they freak out as soon as they hear the word herpes. But if you have all the facts and you can explain, it's the same thing as a cold sore if it's type one if it's type two how contagious it is when you use a condom when you don't use a condom and when you're on medication that's really helpful and it kind of helps calm the person out of this sense of panic that they're taught to feel um and kind of told to feel and reinforced to feel through society and television and movies and jokes that are made about herpes and stuff like that the timing is really tricky you kind of have to go

when it feels right I sometimes try to do it around like the third date so they have an idea of like who I am and what I'm about and like how cool and cute I am but also we haven't gone so far into the relationship that they'll be kind of hurt that I kept such a big thing from them and sometimes it goes really well and sometimes it doesn't um one time I ended up crying and Chick-fil-A drive-thru because I told someone over text message and they weren't really nice but other times I've told people right before we're intimate and they're super sweet and supportive and then we go to town and it's great. So it all really depends on when you feel comfortable and when it feels right to do it and to say it. I also want to say too that there is

type 1 and type 2 and type 1 is what we associate with cold sores on the mouth but that can also be transferred to the genitals and vice versa so again super important to stay educated get tested and all that really great stuff and i hope that this added to the already really great advice that you and grace gave this caller and also just like a psa for herpes thanks bye oh my god great call back so informative no maybe one of these days i'll get tested mel's not giving me the night this is why we shouldn't have mel cam now now i regret it because you can see the dirty look i'm just saying i've been telling you to go to the doctor for a long time and i didn't even go to the doctor for the concussion i'm just immune to everything i'm allergic to everything and i'm

like i'm just gonna say immune no not at all you never have been std tested no oh my gosh you should i know yeah just in case right but uh yeah i yes yes maybe we should do like a live don't blame me oh my gosh you have someone come and give you a test right is it like a vagina swab yeah we can use that app um i forgot there's a hill hill oh yeah and maybe that's they do that that's they call those onset doctors they do that if you get sick on set and then everyone gets a throat swab and then you're all have they just come that day yeah oh my gosh handy it is quite handy and give you medication quick and stats great we had to do that one we had a strep throat outbreak on set once um so everybody's making out in the zombie apocalypse fuck yeah that's what

you do in a zombie apocalypse you get drunk you make out you fight with each other and you don't run but we did um and we don't kill them because we're scared i don't know um i think that was a great callback i think it's yeah i i forgot we even had that question yeah so i'm glad that someone else could offer more personal experience with it and um fuck everybody who's assholes about it and yeah but it's nice it's nice to hear that there's been i don't know i think it's a little it's realistic to say that yes obviously some people haven't taken it so well but then there's been people who have taken it well so i think that's great and like she said it's probably just because they weren't educated because i feel like like she said society they make herpes sound

like oh my gosh like you know like that blue waffle thing that was going on like google blue waffle and it's like just mutilated genitals like it's std it's like these crazy things like people i don't know i think it's yeah it's good that she called and lets people know that herpes isn't blue waffle i don't even think blue waffles a real thing did you not know about this maybe it was just in nebraska high school people would always be like google blue waffle and it was just like just imagine blue waffle but on like a vagina or penis wow good gosh it kind of looked like blueberry ish oh ow but even if someone had blue waffle i mean they can still find a partner too if that is a real thing i don't know if it is but can you imagine that's like i really like

your doctor is like you don't have chlamydia but you do have blue waffle i think that's the official name of it uh but yeah psa everybody it's fictional it's fictional you looked oh did you look at pictures um no this is just the first thing that came up blue waffle is a fictional sexual transmitted infection okay well now we know um but great psa for herpes everyone should go get tested i'll do it too i just i'm lazy that's the thing i'm just lazy um so that's it for this episode thank you so much for being on this thank you for having me i this is like this is would be my dream thing to just be able to hear everyone be nosy learn everything great but you have like an excuse to do it you aren't just you're helping yes and it's like you don't i don't know

it's not like if you give really bad advice like yes you guys might call back but it's not like i it's like i fuck up my friend's life i'm never gonna hear the end of it this is kind of like we get like a taste of all the drama and also like i get bored of my friend's drama like they have the same ones like my boyfriend this was so interesting i love it and i'm glad you liked it you're welcome and i want to hear if someone updates you on the the audience performance so let you i just need to know like what that was yeah i really want to know and i also just really for some reason it's just like i'm taking it to like a vegas show like what's that one that they did the Cirque du Soleil sexual

one. I think that is like Zumanity or something like that. So I saw that when I was not in the right mindset and it was just the weirdest thing in my entire life. And that's what I'm picturing this as. They had like sex in a martini glass and I'm like reminded if I'm thinking correctly.

I was not really all there. But like, good God. So odd. So yeah, I mean, I'll definitely let you know. Where can people check you on the internet? At Lucas Crookshank. Instagram, Twitter, YouTube.com slash Lucas. Follow on my instagram videos thank you wait what was the one the cameo is that what it's called where you oh yeah literally one of my favorite things in the entire world watching you request people

for that oh i loved it i loved it it's no you've he's got great videos watch it i am like my list of people that i watch is like shrunk substantially and your premium content oh my gosh thank you welcome you try really hard so i'm glad it shows that's my instagram was like how easy is it i'm like no i try very hard i am i am a super try hard um but yeah thank you guys so much for listening to this episode um if you watch this on youtube we are available on itunes on the apple podcast app and then if you go to don't blame me dot show which is usually linked in the description for everything you can find out where else you can listen and then if you're just listening to the audio and you want to watch a video we're actually in a new location aa i didn't have to clean my

house um and then you can watch mel cam and all of that stuff so if you want to watch that that's on youtube too and um yeah oh it should tell you guys the number again if you want to call back for another episode i'm not scatterbrained at all the phone number to uh get some advice from us is 310-694-0976 and international callers you can just email a audio file to meganpodcast at gmail.com and um yeah anything else we need to say all good we good with that okay guys well hope you enjoyed this episode and we will see you next week don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa demont's camera operator shereen yunes post-production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley

and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then Thanks for watching!