Don't Blame Me! - S3E19: M&M - Casual But Exclusive?

Episode Date: April 8, 2019

This week we are sharing our advice on how to deal with your friend being engaged to a guy you hooked up with, being caught in the middle of roommate/guy drama, handling your boyfriend coming too fast, and if you should engage in a 3 way with your friend and her boyfriend. In “Don’t Blame Them” a listener offers her advice to the caller about pegging. Follow Us! @meghanrienks @dontblamemepod @sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME'. This episode is also brought to you by #IMOMSOHARD, LOVOO, The RealReal, and BetterHelp. Click Here for Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo) Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blam me don't hi me um today we are here with my personal favorite segment no offense to everybody else who's a guest on the podcast it's megan and melissa time yeah yeah yeah megan and melissa thanks like the podcast ass in our primary ass colors we look great we do wow you have your legs crossed in jean remember the time you marveled at how long i kept my legs crossed for your legs crossing jeans yeah these are great jeans though where are those from from air oh yeah you told me about this yeah they're my it's like the only jeans like that i have like yeah five pairs of them two of them are like these exact jeans do you notice how like guys when they put their phone in their jean pocket it gets like

an outline yeah why i think that well i know that their pockets are longer than ours but that's all i got for that yeah moxie like last night he walked in and i was like why i got a weird white square like rectangle on your leg and he's like because they always put their phones here we don't put our phones here but like why don't they switch pockets like once it starts to happen like why is it like how did he let that happen i don't care i do know in the south all the cowboys you're sick you just called it the south the south yeah i'm sick so i'm very like nasally but um all the guys that like did dip oh you can see the outline in the back yeah in the back of their jeans gross don't be nasty don't be nasty um well we're back with another episode and um yeah guys it's an

advice podcast you fucking know at this point or if you don't hi um if you guys want to give us a call for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners can leave us an audio file at meganpodcasts at gmail.com okay guys um we are going to uh give you all some fucking advice yeah this is a very sexy episode why is it sexy because all the questions you picked for me and you were are all sex related well i was just thinking these are really good questions and i was all over sex but i also don't know who our upcoming guests are and these people this one was these are pressing up these are pressing questions it was just so funny because it was like the ones that you pick for it because

we record this same day we record the one with jocelyn that's coming up next week wholesome hers was was all like friend related and then all mine were like sex sex jocelyn never talked me and lily have tried so hard to get jocelyn to talk about sex and she never really she always alludes to it she's like just so like wholesome and proper and you're not so i was like let's just do it I feel like I'm proper maybe not wholesome yeah you're proper you're just not wholesome yeah okay yeah I'm neither hey Megan um I didn't think about this in advance at all so sorry if this is a complete mess but I am a senior in high school and um I'm kind of going through it with a guy right now so basically I had never done anything with anyone before

never even been on a date um but there's this one guy who I've always kind of had a crush on and he recently started texting me and so I decided I was going to try it out and I went over to his house and we made out and it was fun and it's been great um I really like talking to him, but he, um, he's just, like, with a lot of girls. I don't know. I just know that he's always kind of been, you know, he plays the game, and, um, he's been we've both been we've both been very open about not wanting to be in a relationship but I guess um I would still consider being exclusive but not in a relationship I don't even know if

that's really a thing but it makes me a little uncomfortable just thinking about him like with other girls but he basically told me straight up that he is talking to other people so I just don't know like do I just try to get over it like I don't even know exactly what my question is here but I guess just what should I do I've talked to him about it and told him that it made me a little uncomfortable like him like that I know he talks to all these other girls and he was like i'm sorry i know and i was like okay cool i'm not helpful so what should i do should i stop talking to him none of my friends approve which i know is a big red flag um also is it possible to just be like casual but exclusive i don't know okay thank you for any help bye

i don't want to use the word sweetie because it's really patronizing but i'm like pleading yeah uh here's my thing yeah you're a senior in high school like you're about to graduate soon in a few months just let him if you want to have fun with him and you like him like like him and have fun with him but you're probably not gonna see him again in a few months ever again yeah i think this is like i'm very quick to shit on guys but guys are the fucking worst and a lot of the time that they they are but i will also and i'm a huge feminist i'm all about like women are great we are great but sometimes there's occasions when men men tell us exactly what they want exactly how they feel and we choose not to believe it and listen to it

and we get heartbroken and then we're like fuck this dude so i think he he told you right off the bat and i think you um you said you weren't very experienced with this and you like this guy i i mean i'd even go through this my friends now where i talk to them and they're like yeah and then like this person they said they wanted this and I'm like cool with it I was like you're not cool with that like when you were starting to date people you immediately were like yeah I would rule out anyone who like didn't want to be exclusive and then suddenly they're like yeah no I'm cool with not being exclusive I was like no no you like this person therefore this is what they want and that's how you get them so that's what you're gonna do and I think that's what happened with

you I don't I think you're you saying like a casual way to be exclusive you it doesn't exist you want to be exclusive but you're trying your best to be on the same page as him and still get what you want and I think that there's no point like at all I think he's telling you exactly how he feels and I would say if you were having fun like totally go for it but I think you've you've have serious feelings for him yeah and I think it's probably just gonna hurt you more in the long run to try because I think what would end up happening as much as you might be like oh I'm i can i can become cool with it you're not going to become cool with it over time at all you're just going to be more insecure get more crazy about it and you're going to end up putting him

in a position where he feels like a shit guy because he listened to a girl who said she was okay with something that she's not yeah and you're not okay with it and that's also so fine and so so so so okay and think about i mean i like i feel like it's not an empathetic thing to say but in general like so count your blessings in the sense that like he could have not said that he could have told you what you wanted to hear and then not followed through with it versus he's telling you something that he knows isn't what you want to hear but he's still being honest with you and I think that you just need to take people for face value with that kind of stuff and just move on and not yeah not talk to him because you're gonna like you said you're going to college you're

gonna meet so many other people and all that stuff and I think if you go if you leave high school with not a ton of like sexual experience especially it can kind of feel daunting going into college i know a ton of people who went into college without a ton of sexual experience yeah i didn't have a ton of experience even if they didn't just like suddenly like start hooking out with people like i know a bunch of people who got into relationships and then like they didn't end they it wasn't like a oh i'm now just like either it wasn't like oh now i have to fucking lose it to some random at a party like i know plenty of people who then went into college and were in relationships and stuff like that so don't we don't know if she's going to college or

up it's still yeah but at that age like you're about to like there are so many when you're not in school with him also i think it's going to be because you're at school with him every day like that's going to make it you're thinking about him more and you're it's making you more into him based on proximity yes but the second that you guys aren't seeing each other every day i think you're going to realize that you also probably don't like him as much as you think that you did it was just kind of this is someone who's also expressing interest in you and um yeah it should be this should be this is the only time when you're under your senior year i think it's the only time when you should be only relation like dating stuff it should be casual and fun and both

people should be getting the same thing out of it right like starting new stuff you know so best of luck though you're gonna be fine yeah you are yeah we're gonna find somebody that's down for the same type of stuff that you are yeah yeah you don't have to settle for battle yeah at all on to the next hi megan i actually called a couple days ago but some shit happened that i need to update you So I am 20 years old, and I have been sleeping with this guy on and off for over a year. I haven't seen him in a while. But this past December, on Christmas Eve, Eve to be exact, one of my closest friends texted me in the middle of the night saying,

Hey, by the way, I like, insert his name here, And if he asks me to be his girlfriend, I'm going to say yes. First of all, when that happened, I had no idea they were talking. She told me nothing. She didn't let me know anything. So when she said this to me, this was like literally a blow to the heart. And I was just like, okay, I love you. Because I was just like, I didn't know what to do.

And then my friend, I called my friend right after, and I was crying. I was just like, I don't understand why she would do this. like I was rationalizing it saying I don't want to be a bad friend like I don't want her I don't want to push her out of my life because like she's doing this I want her to be happy but as time went on like I started to get angry instead of um continue to be sad I was mad and I was just like raging and literally today I find out that he he proposed to her like they're fucking engaged they haven't at least to my knowledge haven't been going out for longer than three months um and I am hurt I am mad and I'm just like she knew all the shitty stuff that he did to me so

I don't know why she went to fall through but my question is should I kind of wait it out and wait until we kind of rekindle our friendship or should I just like kick her out of my life holy shit okay so I must have downloaded I've downloaded

the update but I had the notes for the one that she called in before so this was a complete shock so this is a big update for you yeah wow I mean I think like it's very big of you to be like oh like friend want to be happy like she's not your friend no like anyone who does

anything chooses to do anything making any life decision that they know is going to hurt you and it's something they don't have to do they that's not your friend like there are times like my friends if i'd like to tell me something that they know is going to hurt me but like they have to do it yeah but then there are other things that like you you just wouldn't do like that's not like a casualty of friendship and being like oh no that's just that's just come par with the course like that's not a thing so i'm just not here for being friends being good friends to people who aren't your friends yeah like it's just exhausting and you're gonna be tired all the time because you're trying to do that also um god this guy just like i hate to break it to you this guy just

is not into you no and he wasn't into you they were never and they were probably messing around way longer than three months too oh yeah no and they're engaged already is she pregnant yeah I wonder and so I would just say like as much as like it sucks because it's kind of like a double whammy of losing two things at once like the guy that you're hooking up with who maybe you probably had like actual serious feelings for him was hoping something was going to come out of that and then you're losing a friend at the same time um but yeah I mean if I I've said this before on the podcast but like when I meet someone that my friend either has a crush on is hooking up with dated anything like that they immediately go from like

a like a man with a penis to like a person that has no like no sexual organs and is not a sexual creature at fucking all and they go into this box where they they forever are attached and associated with that friend of mine like any good friend of yours wouldn't like you would just never it just wouldn't naturally happen at all so i think like know that you're as much as like you're losing like a friend a good friend or whatever even if you she was great at tricking you that she was a good friend all this time she clearly wasn't like i guarantee you she's been a shitty friend to you in other aspects that you might not even know about or not have realized as it was happening but like you didn't lose you genuinely didn't lose a friendship or a relationship in the

situation like you lost two people who needed to get the fuck out of your life because they didn't give a shit about you yeah god yeah that's that's basically it i have nothing to add to that insane though that's insane messed up you can't trust either one of them like why would you want to still be friends with her yeah and also you have to know if it makes you feel any better like anyone in your like whole circle everybody's gonna think they're too they're fucking crazy like and that's fucking insane like you look like you look like the girl who dodged a bullet where everyone's like wow they think like if it wasn't like thank god she's on in that because i had no idea how crazy they were or like i knew how crazy they were and like she doesn't have to deal with

this now so i think that you're gonna just know that like everybody else looking in on this is probably like especially because there's like only two three months i've been dating right like like realistically dating yeah like that's insane yeah god i'm sorry i am so sorry that's but there's so many other guys out there so many and so many other friends yes like none of my friends like i fucked up once i mean i fucked up a lot in my life but like i fucked up once and made out with a guy that my friend had a crush on our freshman year of high school our senior year of high school she was so fucking mad at me and i was like you're right that was really terrible i was wasted but like that was a guy that she had a crush on that she never dated yeah but like i

none of my friends none of us have ever fucking made out with anyone's like ex-boyfriend someone they hooked up with like no no no no no no like except like high school but that was like high school and it wasn't even like boyfriends it was like oh you should go on the next one yeah hi megan me and my roommate are um sophomores in college and we were calling because i have a question i am a little bit stuck in the middle because i live with three girls one of which lives in my actual room and is my best friend and she is starting to talk to slash date a guy that one of our other roommates happened to date and lose her virginity too so it's just a really awkward thing also they live across the hall from us him and his three roommates so I just don't

want to be caught in the middle with the drama and she doesn't even know what to do because she really really likes him and he really likes her and everybody wants everyone to be happy but she doesn't know how to tell her other roommate and I don't know how to tell my other roommate that i've known for a while but haven't said anything because that was what i was asked to do so we wanted to talk to you and see if you could give us any advice on it so um let us know what you think you said you don't want to be in the middle but you are in the middle you're calling for your friend you're saying we i think you want to be in the middle i think you want to be you could have just told your friend to call the podcast yeah i think you're i think you're definitely

probably people please you're a problem solver and you're trying to keep the peace um but a it's not your responsibility at all and there's really really really nothing that you can do and no matter how anyone goes about telling her her reaction is going to be like it's going to range like who knows what's really going to happen at all but um it's not your problem and i know that they're roommates and your friends and all that stuff personally i don't feel great lying to people and not letting them know so if it was me i mean as much as i would say like oh just stay out of it if you could i can't i can't stay out of shit so i would really tell my room like the the the other girl not the fucking shit so my fucking roommates i would tell the roommate who's hooking up with

the guy or whatever be like one roommate one yes I would tell roommate one hey I I like I don't I don't feel great not telling her and not having her know I feel like if I was in the situation I would want to know and I don't like being associated I don't like knowing when she doesn't know because it really has nothing to do with me and I don't feel like I if I know I feel like she should also know and um and so I if you I need you to let her know and I need you to tell her otherwise I'm going to tell her and I'm going to tell her everything I'm going to tell her that like when you told me you told me not to tell her and I'll say I told her that I was going to not tell you and all of that stuff but I don't feel okay about that because if I was in the situation

this is what I would want and then give her the opportunity to tell her and if she doesn't then i think you just need to tell so just all you need to do is not even like and then if your roommate three tries roommate two tries to engage and talk to you about it just like i don't want to talk about it i'm not involved in it i just want everyone to be on the same page and i'm not even on the same page i don't even need you to be on the same page as her i just need you know everything that i know so it's fair so that's all there is because then at that point your other roommate isn't going to you to talk to about this all that stuff because she shouldn't be confiding in you because it is none of your business and it does affect you in the sense that like you all like

three have a roommate relationship living together so i'm always a like a fan of like when you have information that somebody else doesn't have um you just get everybody on this get the other two people on the same page and then you can walk away from it and they can choose and do whatever they want with that but from that moment say that you're not going to participate in it because i think the issue is with being like um like i'm not gonna engage in this you already know stuff and that's the part that like at least for me would definitely make me feel yeah uncomfortable i want to emphasize this so much don't room with people that you're friends with because it just creates drama unnecessary drama that doesn't have to be there just room

with strangers and then you wouldn't have to you wouldn't be in this situation and if you were in the situation you wouldn't care like it wouldn't have sleepless night like it'd be like oh wow that's weird that rando that we pay the same bills yeah is sleeping with whatever yeah yeah you wouldn't be personally invested yeah so i think yeah you just yeah and then just tell the other friend like i don't want to hear about this like i don't want to be included in this and also if she keeps talking to you about this and all that stuff i that to me sounds like she wants the drama around yeah like if she really really liked this guy and was really concerned about the friendship with their other roommate either a it wouldn't have happened to begin with or also then

she would have talked to her about it to like get the clearance immediately right when you bring somebody else in it you're trying to you're trying to justify your actions and that means that your feelings aren't matched to like your actions you know yeah yeah god so dramatic it is dramatic especially because it was the first guy that she ever slept with yeah why are you at the same did he did they sleep together at like like the same year was this like seven months ago dude if that was like their sophomore so it was it could have been within the year yeah dude okay can we just also start a rule don't fuck your friends boyfriends don't fuck your friends guys that they used to hook up with who they had feelings for don't fuck your friends crushes just don't

do it yeah like it doesn't make sense to me like at all like again high school i understand if you're all in the same friend group but if you meet somebody through your friend like as oh this is the guy that i'm seeing or this is the guy that i have a crush on like what like yeah unless you guys are just really cool like like soulmates but that's i mean they get to be friends first yeah like you this idea that like it's just like i don't know like someone you only knew through that like you have to either become friends through that but like the idea that you meet And everybody in the situation should know everything that's going on. Yeah.

And like the friend who originally hooked up should be like, you know what? You guys would be so cute together. Like you guys should, like they should be the one instigating it. Like, I just don't get it. I just don't get it at all. I don't either. I would never, no offense to any of my friends exes. I don't even make out with any of them.

and we're back everybody and we are going on to the next question here is my dilemma i guess you could say um so i've been dating this guy for about a month and a half and we are, like, our relationship is absolutely great, and I love it, but the first time him and I hooked up and had sex was very quickly, and, like, that has not, like, I don't care about that, like, I, yeah, whatever, but, yeah, so we hooked up pretty fast into our relationship and I'm in a dorm room so not the best area to do that in and honestly like it was okay because I was like given the circumstance like okay whatever but that was the last time him and I have had sex and I mean he's been like touchy and stuff but we just haven't done it since

And he said, he's like, oh, well, the next time we do it, make sure, like, we're in a more comfortable, like, area or, like, position kind of thing. And I was like, oh, yeah, totally fine. But I just got off the phone with him. And this was the first thing that I thought of, obviously, to call you guys. But, yeah. And he said, because I was like, oh, I just shaved my legs. I was like, I'm all smooth. And I didn't even really mean it in, like, a sexual way.

I was just kind of letting him know, like, yay, I'm smooth now. But, yeah, and he goes, it's going to be a while until I can be sexual with you again. And I was just like, what? And I was like, do you mean because of, like, the last time? And he's like, yes. and so I don't really know what I should do. Obviously, like, if he, like, wants to wait, and I don't know if he necessarily just means waiting for a easier, like, access to do it,

because in a dorm room it's not super fun or whatever. But, yeah, so I just figured I would call you guys and ask your opinion on what you think. What do you think her sign is? Oh. um a cancer i think you're i think she's a cancer only and i say this out of love and also because sydney's pretty far backlogged on this sydney definitely has ended up in some situations with guys where she was so sweet and so nice and also like only a month in and i was like i don't slow pump the brakes yeah mama don't make him lunch stop packing him a bagged lunch okay

we gotta unpack this can we get a refresh how old is she 19 freshman year she's 19 yeah freshman year in college or sophomore year in college uh she second semester of college so yeah freshman okay i'm not here to speculate about your sex life and your experience or anything like that or his but that's what i'm gonna do instead um i think first of all a month and a half uh and maybe this was like we needed more clarity i don't think either of us would call a month and a half like a relationship a relationship no i think you can date i think also i or do you mean that you had met like have you met prior to this like this to me just seems so fast which is also why this seems like a cancer move to me um and i say this in lovingly i love cancer it's also

a pisces moon so i understand um so i i just i'm just confused on a lot of levels i'm confused in when was the first time you had sex and how long is it that you've only had sex one time he came really fast and he's basically being like out of office indefinitely to be determined when we'll come back which is just odd and it's also odd because like i i wouldn't even necessarily say it was odd if you hadn't called this a relationship because like we always talk about like oh when you start a relationship the pre like um the uh like things that like are you're used to and then how they differ and change as time goes on you don't have anything to compare this to with this guy like not like comparing the sex experience to another person but like

you're you guys haven't known each other long enough and like the frequency of sex you don't like you've only slept together once and you're already in a relationship like maybe he's a once every three years kind of guy like he only has sex on leave day like what like what do you like that's what i don't understand and i also like guys a lot of guys come real fast and i just it just seems to me that he's embarrassed yeah he's embarrassed um he thinks that his situational embarrassment is how he initially pitched it to you but there's other because he was like we're in the dorm room it wasn't uncomfortable we need a different position he was a virgin maybe that too and um yeah he's not ready he's not ready to have sex with you

i know a lot of guys who had this issue in this age range as well and this is also when those guys got really good at going down on girls like so fucking like the quickness of some people and like it totally depends on like yet there is like situational all that stuff it can just be like out like i have had friends where they like have like hooked up with someone but they hadn't hooked up with a person a really long time they're like i literally need to jerk off like right before i fucking see this girl because like i'm not gonna it's gonna be like three seconds so i think like you just like sex isn't just like penetrative sex and like you're saying like he's still being kind of like touchy and that sort of thing but i think you guys should just explore like sex as like a

whole spectrum of things and like even if he's going to finish quick like again the book she comes first and that i think like at 19 that embarrassment from him i'm sure like weighs heavy um so i think you just like i mean always the first time a guy comes so fast i once hooked up with a guy when we were in high school and he came in his pants and i was like this is so flattering like we were just literally making out and i was like oh my god this is so flattering but um he was mortified and i was like no i'll like it's flattering and like very much like i i know that it's not really is nothing as much to do with me as much as it's like oh i'm young yeah so i think like if you you don't have to like not even necessarily talking about it because

like that making him awkward but i mean you talking about shaving your legs made him awkward don't that girl i love you that's not sexy talk what are you doing and also he clearly thought you meant your vagina oh you're like i'm so smooth i just shaved i'm so smooth and then he was like i don't want to have sex with you yeah yeah this also makes you think you're cancer you were just so understanding and forgiving and like you this is yeah uh i i yeah i think you just need to i would just pump the brakes on everything like a little bit like not stop or just slow down because i think he also if you guys are also already establishing this as a relationship he probably feels like oh fuck this is my girlfriend now now i have to be able to perform like this and

i'm getting more nervous and he's more in his head so i think if you guys can make it more casual and there be less pressure on everything i think you're going to be able to figure out if you're compatible in like sexually because that's also a huge aspect of it so and also just i just wouldn't text the word smooth no or like shaved like i i also i would never i mean i rarely shave my legs but like i can't my legs are very hairy right now i like now if i shave my legs it's more like oh my god babe feel my leg they're finally fucking shaped i'm like how great so um yeah and maybe like yeah dial down the um the like yeah the the sex to know each other yeah and if he's if he's able to which i really hope he is because again a lot of my friends who like had this this became

in college like that's when they got really good at going down on girls was it became less about oh penetrative sex like comes in five seconds it's like oh well if i get the girl to come first then if i come in five seconds really doesn't fucking matter so i think you don't have to like tell him that at all but i think once you take less pressure on like oh i want to have sex i want to have sex i want to have sex like we can just do other stuff like we can just like fool around and have fun that way it'll ease the pressure off of him and then um you'll be able to see if you guys are even like sexually compatible and if he's like interested in doing other stuff like that too also let me know if you're a cancer okay next question hi so i'm gonna keep this short because

i just got cut off last time anyway i am a 19 year old female and i have this friend who is also my age and we've been friends we've known each other for a really long time and so we've recently just become good friends though um we grew up in a small town and now we both live in the city so she lives with her boyfriend and I am a bisexual female and so in December we my friend and I went to a cabin with my family uh for Christmas and she just stayed with the last couple days of our vacation and we ended up doing stuff or I did stuff to her and we felt really guilty about it but it was still super fun and she kind of justified it by saying you know like my boyfriend has cheated on me in the past with a guy and I know it's still cheating no

matter what gender it is but I just feel like I wanted to try it out and that was that I had a little bit of feelings for her but I kind of got over that quickly and yeah so fast forward to last night it's February now and for the last couple months she's been hinting at her boyfriend that she would be interested in having a three-way and we ended up doing that last night so yeah I don't really know what to do now I don't know what this means I feel like everything is just a shit show I don't. Yeah. So any advice you could give would be great. Please don't hate me for being an awful person. I love your podcast. I love Marissa. I love Megan and all the guests you have on. So, yeah. Thank you. Bye. Megan crawled up into a ball. Also, it really did sound like you need to watch on YouTube because I screamed no. And then she had a big pause and she goes, I know. So it was like she was responding to me out loud.

wow first of all i don't think you're a terrible person and now i'm ready for everyone to be like oh my god double standard megan like you always like a whole like cheating and all that stuff okay this is a different situation it's a very different situation also because like they're as much as like they were monogamous that was seems definitely like a gray area considering she he had been with someone else while they were together and she didn't seem super angry about it and said that she was wanted to try it and then also having a three set like this seems very they're they're open yeah slightly more open than like the door was a door was a jar yeah the door was not locked yeah so fuck all of you who are gonna say i'm gonna i'm holding

this to double standard these questions when we give advice it's situational based on that specific question you can't yeah we make a comment about a different question you can't hold it to the same standard for every single one i'm just like i'm on the offense now like fuck all of you and they're like we haven't said anything yet um but we know you yeah wow dude i'm gonna i have no idea what the fuck to do okay so this is insane here's the thing oh wait you look like what do you i've never done this if that's what you're gonna go for i was like you got this like okay no no so if if you didn't call it if the friend had called in i would have been like if you want to have a threesome don't do it with your friend yes you bring some other rando thing

you may know yeah not somebody that you have a friend that you have a friendship with you're in a different scenario here because you're not cheating on anyone or bringing someone else into your relationship that you have yeah you're just you by yourself so if you if something weird happens you just lose a friend you know this is insane though yeah like if it was the if you if you were your friend that was calling i'd be like you could mess up your friendship and your relationship but in this situation i would say just go for it and just yeah do whatever unless you're like just like best friends and you don't want to ruin your relationship your friendship but you've you've already crossed the line so if you're having fun i'd say just keep doing it i

would say that too because i also think like i mean if you have like if part of your worry is oh um like i don't if you don't feel comfortable like being with her solo if he doesn't know like have a conversation with her about that and be like i just like i am into like hooking up with you but like not at like the expense of like hurting someone else so like if there's like if they're they decide that they are going to be open in that aspect like as well and not just threesomes um or if like there's like a more solidified thing like if it's a guilt thing if that's what it is um then i would say like totally talked about it but if it's just like wow this is like weird i've potentially ruined friendship you already did um once you see your friend well no

what not not necessarily once you see your friend naked no once you've like once your finger has been inside your friend uh-huh yeah or mouth or any any other body part once that's happened like they're once you've kissed your friend's boyfriend yeah and she was there to witness it literally i just wow also i think as much as like this girl you say is your friend too i think you're her friend too i just don't think that you either of you are seeing each other as best friends because i just don't think i think both of you have probably had like attraction sort of feeling thing i don't think like you said like if this was like if you would you're way more likely to like pick a random than someone you're really close to so i think there's probably always

been some like attraction there so i think also you said that you only recently started becoming like better friends so maybe just like pump the brakes on having that be your go-to person because you need a friend that you can go to to talk about this too and like not that not her um but yeah i just this is like also the cabin is so romantic it is a cabin like the weekend like oh my god um uh wow yeah that's just i also just wonder and this is the other thing i'd say if you feel just fucking awkward i totally would i could still see that because if i was like then had to be around like if you're hanging out and not hooking up and then like you just like you're at her apartment with her boyfriend and like you've fucked them both and you're just like

sitting there and you guys are all just like eating charcuterie like and not hooking like is that not like that's the part where i'm like you don't have to do that like don't feel like you have to uphold like like other friendship stuff and like let's go i'll see like captain marvel together and you're like we've fucked all of us have fucked like i don't think you necessarily need to pursue a friendship unless it's a triple date i can't sister wives yeah wow i just adorable also then how would you i would be like what if he know like he can pick up on it you know like have they hooked up before um but yeah i think as long as you're having fun you're being safe yeah and you also don't if you don't feel awkward you don't need to feel awkward

like me saying like wow i would feel so awkward i feel awkward all the time like all the time but if you feel like you should feel bad or you should feel guilty or anything like that and you want our permission fucking permission granted you don't have to feel like if you don't you shouldn't you don't have to feel a certain way about this there isn't something that like is screaming to me that like oh no you need to feel a certain way like just do whatever like yeah whatever you're feeling is fucking valid and roll with it as long as everybody is comfortable and on the same page then keep doing it yeah have fun have fun be safe don't get pregnant especially in this situation wow please don't get pregnant with his baby

wow she gets pregnant too and they both have kids wait so they're and then they would kind of be like twins but not whoa or do crazy yeah don't do it wow that's insane oh my god wow can you call us back and just update us on your life or do you have any other fun stories because this is crazy oh my god this is definitely a unique one this is and i hope somebody calls in with similar dude same situation where it's like working out for them yeah i also love the idea of like being in a small town and like kind of being friends and I don't know if like you had known that she was bi or

if she knew that you were bi and then you guys end up in the same city and then suddenly you're in a cabin hooking up like I'm sure there's also like that just is my romanticized idea of it that has like no conversations or speaking involved like I'm sure there had to be like some conversations about it but like wow that's amazing it's romantic

as hell as long as no one's getting hurt it's also like in December I'm just picturing like snow in the cabin yeah but like that's just like this is this seems like a nancy myers movie i love this me too i might write this story i like it i just like i feel that i would be so bad in the situation a like i just like i'm not like a sexually if i like am into somebody like i'm not sexually attracted i don't want to have sex with other people like i'm just like weird but more than that i i need to have the

upper hand so like the idea that like i would be the new girl i think fuck that being the new girl i'm the senior on campus like i know like i like i need to have the upper hand like i am not good without being in control i think i could do it with two bi guys oh okay no 100 i would yeah because then you have all the attention yeah that literally fulfilled exactly what i'm saying yeah yeah no but i couldn't i wouldn't be able to also i would just feel weird like they stay there then you just leave because they live there you know in my i feel like that's like ideal for me like i can just dip in and out when i want to yeah no that's true that is true i just like again like i like control i like my place i kick you out yeah wow see no see i like i can just

ability to leave i can just leave yeah yeah wow yeah i would not i would it would have to be guys and also that's the part that i'm like i just don't know where i would because i also feel like i have to know somebody to like be like super sexually attracted to them at this point in my life that like i think i'm just like i don't have like do you mean like yeah i don't like if i was single maybe i would be like oh yeah like a hot one night stand kind of thing but like i most of the time people i find either really boring or really annoying and then i have to get to know you and find out you're not boring or annoying and then i'm like okay now i remember that you're still hot like but like otherwise you just or you have to be silent because you're

sapiosexual i i've heard that's a thing but i was like i just oh that's what you that's exactly what you just described though but you need to know that somebody's not stupid and that you're attracted to their mind as well but also that's also because i don't go out and drink now so like the only time i would meet somebody is like on a dating app and we have to have a date so like if i met somebody and we're into the bar or like i was drunk and we like hooked up and i didn't have to talk to them fine but the second i talked to them then i can't hate them then i can't you know mean yeah like they're like their allure wears off the second that they like talk and they're terrible but if they don't talk and they're not then i and i don't know that they're terrible

then i'm fine okay but yeah no i wouldn't be able to because i also can't imagine like how i would be in a situation where i meet two like that like if kyle had a boyfriend then i have to have like i mean kyle would i would do you mean that's what i'm saying like there's two guys but like we have to pretend that they're bi but like i just can't foresee myself fine like i don't know i don't go out enough to be picked by that okay on to the next it's time for um don't blame them already yeah wow okay guys it's time for don't blame them but um but oh yeah don't blame them don't blame them don't blame them wow you're how can you twerk while sitting down and i can't do it like in the perfect this is not fucking fair this is a follow-up i feel like for the don't blame nims

that i pick for episodes with us we'll just do like the previous episodes that we've done okay i like that so this is someone calling um the original caller had called us about pegging oh yes yes yes yes um and so this is someone that has had similar experience in the same lane um i'm recently married and ever since our entire relationship um we've been very open with uh sexual relations and whatever like the other person wants to try we say at least try it once and we have we both have a few things that we're like ah maybe not but we always try something and I think that's only because we're comfortable with each other and we I'm so nervous but we're comfortable with each other and we feel safe with each other I mean obviously we're married so we

like I found an amazing man but definitely in relationships before I would always like no, no, no, I don't want to try anything because I clearly was not comfortable with those people and they were not the person for me. But definitely I think that if you're in a good relationship and it's the right kind of relationship for you and you guys just mesh really well, that sexual activities and anything sexual should be fun. It should be kind of exciting and something that you get to do together. I mean, you both get pleasure from it, but it's also something that it's together that you're doing it for us.

It's an act of love and adventure and just excitement. But, yeah, definitely just make sure you're 100% comfortable with your partner, and don't be afraid to try something new. Yeah, and also, I'm 22 and he's 23, and I just want to say that there is real love out there, and that it'll come around when it's your time and just be patient work on yourself and um just know that it's going to happen when it's meant to happen and kind of have that face okay well that's all i love you megan um and guests uh cool okay bye um jamila jamila has a great quote that says uh she posted on her instagram was anything is a dildo if you try

hard enough i've seen that before not just from her but i've seen it before um yeah i mean i think this girl's yeah oh god so angular not turn that vibration setting literally right um uh no i think she's very right in her not saying that she's tried pegging but i think you have which there's i'm gonna bleep your name but girl girl um but she's very much very right in the sense that like there's definitely like like i don't know i mean i think like when you're with in a long-term relationship with somebody there's so much stuff that like even if you're like not gung-ho you're more like i might think about it more like i would try it more and we've we've talked about that before where it's like

there are certain things that like i constantly play this game with wants which he again fucking hates where i will just like throw these hypotheticals and being like i said i wanted to do this would you want to do this and he's always like i guess i'd try like sure and it's ridiculous stuff and so if you're in a relationship with somebody um uh you're good yeah i think people are much more inclined to try versus like i'm not gonna like i don't know fuck the back of the neck back of the neck like put your your neck back so it's like a hot dog bun first of all that is so bad for your neck so much tension i know but i want everybody to try this i get dizzy wait okay what do i do and then i don't know why this even came to my mouth i guess it's like a deep

fantasy of mine i guess and you stick your back at the neck are you kidding some guy out there is probably into it you gotta have have your hair up you have to have a really really tiny dick like what's also can you just imagine like wetness in your like the first of all you gotta lube it up first you have to lube it but think about getting that out of your hair like there are some times where i'm like i don't want to clean my there wash my hair there are other times like i need to wash my hair whatever happens whatever gets in my hair is fine but here you go the base of your hair that's like you use coconut oil then it's a deep condition no totally but my thing is if it's

somewhere visible i will be like oh let me clean but if it's the back of my neck back of my hair i fucking fall asleep i don't remember i like walk around i go to i go to the gym suddenly like it's like i take my hair out it doesn't move it's like that movie um mary yes something about mary yeah oh my god can i just drips down your back from your hair yeah that'll be hot no yeah that's somebody's fantasy yeah not to judge anybody for me it's mostly along the lines of like i just would be if i don't see it i'm afraid i'm not gonna clean it if i don't see it i don't clean it yeah i just i will forget i feel like somebody out there is gonna like try and fuck their neck or fuck someone else's neck yeah can you imagine

also you also have a little bit of like an exorcist fantasy because this is like that looks like you're being possessed like that is like you're being possessed by the fucking devil like you have a little bit of it i'm just thinking of all the body parts that just fold what have you to the side of your neck stop trying to like break your fucking neck your elbow between your elbow and your bicep that's the one where you used to send like nudes and you're like that's my butt it's my vagina yeah look at that you can get that behind the knee action tighten it up tighten that oh yeah oh yeah wow where else could you do it i mean honestly everything everything everything's a vagina yeah everything is a vagina if you try hard enough wow if you bend far enough

back you can tort your body body enough everything will be a vagina can you imagine going to the chiropractor though and your neck is like also i'm just picturing your face like if someone's fucking your neck and there you are but you're like this if you're going hold on if you're you're just rocking back and forth or sides is that you would be the one moving too hey my neck is backwards and i'm also moving on that apparatus and he's just standing there you have to hold your knees arch your back a little bit wait so we're sitting straight up yeah we're sitting we're not laying down no we're lying like we're sitting like we are right now on this couch so we're sitting up hey babe i'm gonna take him we're gonna come mom's i have a trick to show

what the fuck are you doing and then he kind of straddles the couch behind you no i can you are you gonna i'm not gonna shut my mouth while i do this okay then bend your neck back and then drop and then drop from side to side why are your eyes closed where am I supposed to look at the ceiling I know your mouth and your eyes were closed my mouth and my eyes were wide open

hey we all have different oh faces okay oh my god no my trainers be so mad your neck is so tight what is this and then go the other way and then he gets you from the front fuck your double chin

you know what we need a rap song about that I wanna fuck your neck and I wanna fuck your double chin Yes You know who needs to do that? The kid who did Tatiana I already knew what you were gonna say I played that for my, Maz had never heard the song I only heard it because it was on Heather McMahon's

Instagram story It's like one of the most popular songs right now That's crazy Also you know what the funniest part of all this is It's gonna be worse than a handjob Satisfying wise 100% Yeah.

Yeah. And it's a lot of effort for worse than a handjob. But it's something new. You can't get pregnant. You can't get pregnant. And it's something new. It is something new. Try some out.

Try some new stuff out. Not into pegging. Have you tried neck fucking? Necking. Oh, my God. Necking. Yes. No, because necking used to be like making out.

I think it's still in the UK. I mean, but people said it like in the 50s. I think the UK never evolved from that. I mean, in other ways. You guys are great. Yeah. I just think like some of your language. Aubergine.

Do you know what that is? an eggplant oh yeah you told me that before courgette zucchini also speaking of things you could fuck yourself with aubergine oh yeah and a courgette except you know sometimes like zucchinis have that like a little bit of like prickly stuff on the outside that sounds painful yeah unless it's like rude for her pleasure oh true but what if it's like what if it's like the tire things you drive one way you're fine but you drive the other way it's not like it goes in fine doesn't come out fine yeah that sounds painful once a girl use a condom oh yeah who doesn't love masturbating with condoms all about that but i'm just saying that that would be the

solution it would solve your but and it's waxy anyway so you would need some type of yeah sort of lubricant i love this for more tells and tangents like this listen to our our bi-weekly bonus episodes yes yeah it's a good time if you yeah this is really what we get into bi-monthly i should say bi-monthly yeah i don't i've never understood how that i mean technically you can still say bi-weekly but i don't like it because it also means twice a week that's what i never said right doesn't it both it's like aloha confusing the aloha just i don't even care you're in hawaii you're like hello goodbye don't give a shit right everything's good here but yeah you guys should really listen to us on stitcher um it's a goddamn good time it

you hear a lot of this unfiltered stuff and also know that just because it's on Stitcher doesn't mean that it's like PG like we're equally if not more yeah and it's a lot more personal stories it is very personal way too personal this is fun my vagina's been clenching

this whole time mine's wide open fine okay alright well guys fucking follow us on our socials you can follow the podcast don't blah mean pod if you want to call in for an upcoming episode leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. I didn't do this already, did I?

It doesn't matter. If you did, we'll cut it out. Oh, okay. And then if you're an international listener, email us an audio file at meganpodcasts at gmail.com. If you want to update us on, if you've been on a previous episode, give us an update where your life is at. Call us in, too.

And if you want to give us like a minor update or you just want to tell us what your Zodiac sign is, if we guessed it correctly or not, send us a DM. We check those all the time. And yeah, guys, watch on YouTube and go on iTunes and leave us a review. you can check us out there and do all the things that's good do all the things

yeah just do all the things happy April happy April showers bring me flowers don't blame me is a production by me executive produced

by Melissa DeMonts camera operator Amanda Lechner production assistants by Julie Carley and music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso

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