Don't Blame Me! - S3E2: Guest: Krista Williams - Let The D*ck Graduate!

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

Trigger Warning for Eating Disorders (Call 2). Krista Williams from Almost 30 Podcast is here this week to share her advice! We’re answering your questions on setting boundaries, how to handle being horny on your period, what to do if a guy tries to stop being fuck buddies mid-coitus, and gaining sexual confidence. We also had a listener share her advice on how she deals with her partner having a higher sex drive. Follow Us! @dontblamemepod @meghanrienks @hundredblog @sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME'. This episode is also brought to you by Poshmark , Try Fit Jeans, and JustFab. Please support them! Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Don't Blame Me. And today we've a fantastic guest. You guys probably know because she also has a podcast, the Almost 30 podcast. Krista is here. Yes, I'm so happy to be here. I am a huge fan. I'm like flattered. I'm the only person not verified that's been on the podcast. No, no, no, no, no. There's a lot of unverified people. I won't throw my friends under the bus who have under like 5,000 followers, but you know, some of them do.

What are you going to do? But I'm excited you're here. Me too. We've got a podcasting pro in the building, guys. Not even. And we also have Melissa, as always. Hello. Rocking some hot pink. Loving it. Thank you. They can see your hoops too. Show off your hoops. Can you? Yeah, it's a chic.

I just bought some hoops. I didn't wear my hoops today. You have two hoops. Really? Yes. I never oh i guess it's the only time every day then we have it then i just am jealous that i'd wear mine we're not matching i think that's my issue all the time i like yours yeah i like them uh well guys if you're new here uh welcome this is an advice podcast um we've got callers who they call in with their problems leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 for all of you guys if you listen and you're like hey i've got shit in my life give me some advice and then our international callers

you can uh email us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com so i feel like i feel like you you're gonna crush this i feel really excited actually i'm like i feel like i fucking love giving advice oh it's sweet i love it because it's just like the power like everyone loves giving advice oh my god it's it's so it's just i i yeah and there's so many ways to do it and i think you guys do that well like I just talk about myself no no no but like there's like there's I just every time I hear advice I'm like oh I wouldn't have thought about it that way yeah or I'm like oh I agree with that one or there's sometimes I'm like oh I wish they would say this so I feel like it's like there's so many ways you could go yeah you know so I just I'm so excited oh yeah I'm excited to

see what I'm excited to see what's happening in everybody's lives yeah so shall we get started hi Megan I'm 21 years old and almost a year ago this guy that I graduated high school with randomly messaged me on Instagram completely out of nowhere it was kind of weird because I don't think I've ever actually talked to him before um like I knew he was but I kind of thought so I kind of thought it was like a mistake um but all he said was like hey how's it going so I just replied like really short and quick answer um but then he replied again he kept trying to drag out the conversation so then I started to think that maybe something was like wrong and so I was just really up front and I said like really nicely like hey like I don't mind that you're messaging me but

like we don't really know each other so like are you okay is anything wrong like like something up and he seemed really appreciative that I was asking and he admitted that basically my speculation was right and he really was just lonely like he had just dropped out of college like I guess his like after his first year and since then he's gone back home and has just been working like small jobs while he tries to figure out what he wants and like I totally get that like I felt lots of sympathy right away because i've been there before where i didn't know what i wanted and also not long before this all happened i'd gone through a couple periods of just feeling like so lonely so like i can really imagine like how he's feeling with all his friends off at school while he's at

home so i started making like some conversation with him and i decided to invite him to hang out with a couple of my close friends and me over winter break and i think he had fun but since then he keeps asking if we can hang out together but like just the two of us and so I'm starting to get a feeling of caution now um so like for the record like I'm in a super happy and healthy relationship with my boyfriend of two years and I made it clear to him that I have a boyfriend just by like mentioning it casually a couple times and I totally want to believe that guys and girls can just be friends but that mentality and my giving guys the benefit of the doubt has gotten me into accidental dates and bad situations like that so because of my experience before where my

friendliness is taken the wrong way i can't help but feel a little hesitant and like keeping my guard up just in case um like i don't want him getting the wrong idea and i hope i don't seem conceited because i'm thinking this way but at the same time i'm worried because what if he is truly just wanting a friend and i'm just being awful for avoiding this person who is legitimately lonely and needs help um so I guess I'm just asking like do you think he is lonely and I should try to reach out to him in person or should I just kind of distance myself because you think that maybe he does have some kind of ulterior motive her compassion and how sweet she is to someone that is feeling that way is like beyond but she definitely needs to have a boundary

i mean there isn't she owes nothing you know it's unfortunate and she's shown compassion by inviting him somewhere and introducing him to her friends being kind enough to message him back on instagram but she has no you have no you don't owe anything to him yeah unfortunately i i'm with you on that i think uh i wish i don't know i kind of want to know what she was like in high school because like this like this would have never happened to me like nobody would have ever even i dropped out of college and was miserable but like i would have never had like a guy i went to school with that i wasn't friends with message and be like hey i just like thought you'd be someone i want to talk to so if i was in the position i'd be like you know like why are you reaching out to

me of all people but she might be that girl who like was just everyone's friend crush and was like so sweet that he knew that he could kind of reach out to her and she wouldn't be like why are you talking to me totally so i think like if that's the case and if like when if when you're listening that's if you relate to that that you have kind of given off that vibe of just being like really sweet and open and nice um i would just invite him like out with your friends again like i don't think if he's insisting on wanting to talk to you alone like unless he has like i don't i don't know he doesn't have anything to really tell you like you don't totally like what what is there what do you want yeah so i think like yeah i mean i've also like there's a lot of i think he could totally

be lonely but i think he can also when you're lonely you can kind of attach on to be a little horny oh yeah you can be horny and lonely all the time and it's like what this is the thing is like this is like setting her up for her life like you need to be very clear with people you know it's like you need to be like hey like i'm definitely happy in my relationship i'm happy to help you and introduce you to my friends because i understand you're lonely but like what is it that she wants too it's like she shouldn't let what other people want dictate what she's doing in her life yeah so it's like cool like she's living her life and then someone wants something from her so she's going to get worked up upset invested um and you know change things in her

life and potentially like hang out with someone when she doesn't maybe want to and that's out of pity and that's not really going to help him in the end if she pities him and she's hanging out with him for that reason only yeah and then your sacrifice like you should never in order to help somebody i think it's great to help people but like not sacrificing uh any of your own happiness at all and so yeah i would say just i don't know how he's asking you to hang out one-on-one but i would just say the next time you like go out with your friends and go to a party and be like hey like just like letting you know yeah come along and also maybe transfer this to a group chat like put him on a chat with like the rest of your friends and be like hey everybody like thinking

about going to go do this like that kind of way and so you can sort of phase out a that's introducing him to more people. So now he does, you're not the only connection that he has to like your group of friends. Um, but, uh, then yeah, you, you kind of are making it more casual and less like one-on-one conversation. But I also am a firm believer that guys and girls can just be friends. Uh, but you guys don't have a, like a prior friendship relationship. So I think it's just a little, obviously it's hard to tell. Um, and I would also like ask your boyfriend, like, if he like does he get weird vibes like does he get like this guy's definitely into you because like my boyfriend is that way with like my guy it's like some of my guy friends like he does not

give a shit I mean with all of my guy friends he doesn't give a shit but then there was like a couple of like people that he had met like that we had like known where he was like yeah no like they're like very much into you and I was like oh no no no and then I got a boyfriend like we started dating I was like oh yeah cool they like pieced the fuck out of my life okay cool and so but like he can pick like I think guys are also pretty good at picking up on that and then maybe if he's like totally not into you and just like wants a friend or whatever him and your boyfriend will be like friends you're kind of like a bro it's the boyfriend hanging out with you when you're hanging out with the group yeah that could be like a good indicator too yeah and also maybe

he thinks one of your friends is hella hot and like you can like get in that way or like do anything like that but i don't think there's anything wrong with um friend zoning him like you can totally friend zone him and just like i don't know call him buddy and pal which i've done like on dates with guys and they're like and i was like yeah no i'm just like trying to like slowly ease you out of like while we're yeah like while we're actively on a date i don't want you to kiss me later and i think if i just keep calling you buddy you won't um but yeah there's nothing i don't think there's anything mean about um friend zoning somebody because a you have a boyfriend like you're not miss i hate when guys like oh my god you like led me along like you're

you're not doing that i know she's so sweet she's like i don't want him to think i've conceded i'm like no you're not you're such a sweetheart but also too is interesting i don't know if you guys picked up on this but she's kind of very intuitive like he dm'd her and she's like i i felt like he was lonely and she asked him if he was lonely like huh yeah i would never ask a random dude that dm'd me like no are you lonely i would just be like send a dm literally i mean actually here's my demo account send me cash now um and then he also she also picked up that she said something she's like i get this feeling she kept talking about that and her feelings about him didn't seem like they were super yeah like great yeah so i i again i think it like it probably goes back

to like like her idea and impression of him from high school and his of hers yes so i think like yeah maybe maybe he was somebody that you in high school again not to get like in the click hierarchy thing but somebody that you were like oh this seems like someone who like is a little quieter and shiger and like them reaching out to me probably comes from like an emotional place not like a yo sup girl like fuck boy kind of thing because that wasn't your instinct reaction like you thought that it was something different um and i don't know a lot of guys who come at like hitting on you from like a sad note but i think it can develop into like interesting game yeah can you imagine the sad game but yeah i think it can develop into that as long as you but yeah

i think this whole thing is like helping him with like friends and stuff and then not feeling like you owe anything else yeah i also want to know if you're a cancer or pisces because you're one of the two hundred yeah i'm gonna guess she's a cancer okay well i think you got this one let us know uh give us an update let us know how it goes and let me know what your sign is and let's go on to the next one um i am 17 and about nine or ten months ago i i did this one week cleanse thing because my body just felt disgusting from all like the burgers and pizza and shit I ate so I started just like this one week thing of eating super healthy and it just kept going which is a good thing because I started out as just this being more health conscious and wanting to live

a healthier life and not polluting my body with garbage and so I was eating really healthy and it's kind of spiraled into I guess an unhealthy side of it because it wasn't about weight loss when it started it was just like if I happen to lose weight fantastic because I had shitty body image so but now it's kind of spiraled into that's the main purpose um over the whole amount of time that I've been you know changing my lifestyle and eating and everything so I'm by no means in desperate need of losing any more weight but I still don't feel like I'm where I want to be and I think that's the dangerous part because I'm not sure if I'll ever get where I want to be I think there will always always find something to improve

and i wasn't ever a calorie counting person but now that's all i think about and i've been obsessing over that and i don't really know how to get out of it i guess that's why i'm calling because i don't i know you're going to fitness and i've been more active at least lately but i just moved to a new area so i don't really have a gym or anyone to talk to about this so any help you could give would be fantastic because it's kind of destroying my mental health oh god this makes me really sad and it makes me so sad to hear that she's 17 and just for you guys fyi we've bleeped uh the numbers in this just because i don't uh yeah and i don't want anyone else to and if you're like listening and you're like a little worried about

if this is going to feel triggering to you skip to the next question um but i think like this is like you're super super young and the met like the viewpoint and the mentality you have with your body now is so like it's gonna influence you for the rest of your life like this is something that like i'm so glad you're recognizing like i'm kind of having like an unhealthy sort of like relationship with how i'm treating my body and like what i'm asking for like from it um and you like you need to squash it as soon as you can because it's only going to get worse as you get older because you just get you you'll you'll normalize that and i think like i mean as somebody who is into fitness and this is like a more recent thing in my life i've cared

so much less about food the more that i've like gotten into exercise and eating healthy i mean not even eating healthy like i've cared less about the eating portion the more i got into exercise because you understand and you really start to realize the use of your body and the use of food to your body. And like, it's not withholding food as a punishment or not deserving something or something is bad or something is good. But like when you're exercising and you're using your body, your body's going to need certain things and it's going to crave certain things. And that's what you're going to want. And you're going to need to feed that before the mental aspect of it. Like the functioning part of your body for me at least yeah when I started like lifting weights and

actually like doing like that and really focusing on like being fit I was like I'm craving food like this is not like a oh like I don't want I like I want to skip lunch because I want to be skinny it's just like I'm starving I'm so hungry because I've sweat and I can see the next day that like I can lift heavier weights and I can do this and do all of that and that I think when you can develop a healthy relationship with the physical aspect of like what your body can do then I think like the food stuff just it doesn't it fuels you but it doesn't that that at least for me in my perspective it's like that obsession isn't like as heavily there but I mean I think she needs to talk to like somebody professional yeah that's what my thing was is like just thinking I'm like

I wish that I was in her shoes when I was 17 and I would have got professional help earlier and saw someone and kind of like like you said like helped establish a better relationship with that but and I think you know a lot of women that I know have done what she's done and you know I kind of had that situation where I established like restrictive and then binging eating habits at a very young age in high school and I still kind of struggle with it today so it's normal to have these relationships with food, but I think it's just so important. And she's so lucky and she's so, um, she's got such great self-awareness that she's noticing at such a young age, you know, and not just looking at the number or the weight loss. Like that's incredible. You know, that she

has noticed like, okay, I know that I'm this weight and I know this is unhealthy. And I know the cleanse has gone, you know, like a little too far. And that's what, you know, when she said that when she was like, I'm 17. And I did a cleanse. I'm like, Oh yeah. I just was like, I know. And it's, and you know, a lot of people that happens where you're just treating your body like crap and you're eating like burgers, fries, whatever your, the bad foods are. And then you do kind of, you're like, Oh, I don't want to do this anymore. And you do kind of want to clean up and, you know, feel better about what you're putting in your body, but then it can be something that turns into something that's unhealthy. Yeah. And that's what's happening with her. But, you know, I would

suggest getting help and seeing someone, you know, whether it's a new, I don't know if it's a nutritionist that will help, or maybe someone that's a therapist that will help you kind of understand why these patterns are happening in your life, whether there's something outside of it, you know, something that's going on with your family, emotionally, whatever. I know that there's a lot happening when you're 17 in general. So maybe that will help you understand why you're sort of focusing on this as like a control part of your life. Yeah. And I think the, the, the issue with cleanses just in general is I think people beat themselves up way too much about what they eat. I'm allergic to so many things. So I've had to learn so much about nutrition and the amount

of food that you need to eat to like gain weight is so much more than you actually think. Like your sedentary body is actually like, it burns calories just existing. And I think people get into these phases where it's like, oh my gosh, I ate so bad. I went, they feel like they went a hundred eating terribly and then to be healthy they need to eat a hundred the opposite direction and that's always i find the biggest issue because neither of those are sustainable yeah if you want to eat junk food every day i promise you by day three you will be craving a salad and an apple like your body itself like you're gonna start feeling sluggish and gross and you're not gonna want to do that but when you treat like eating one bad thing as the end of the

world and it needs like all this other stuff to correct it it doesn't like you can eat what you want like intuitive eating paying attention to like what you eat and how it makes you feel and that's again like for me when I started working out then I was like oh I really noticed what makes me feel better and like I want to feel good and feel energized throughout the day and not tired and sluggish but I would just say just as like a overarching thing stay away from cleanses I think they just make you just it's just such an like unhealthy mindset they think they can put you in like I'm sure some people could feel you're paying for a restriction yeah and it's like it's an allowed restriction that it's like no this is okay this is healthy but anything that's making

you think like oh I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this like my friends when they've been like oh my god I feel like I want to like try eating better I'm like try whole 30 like try something that's like food and that it's it's you're you're eating real food and like you're not counting there's not a specific calorie there's not oh you're only having juices like this is not just like supposed to flush your body out because again that's what your liver does you have an organ that does that you don't need to buy two hundred dollars worth of juices that are gonna make you shit your pants and you can't like walking down the street can make you woozy like yeah exactly if you can't function properly and work out while you're doing some type of

whatever you're doing to eat quote unquote healthy it's not good for you no if you're supposed to like like lay in bed and not exercise and you're doing something that's healthy yeah you're right it's it that's not healthy at all and it also like there's that that that positive association with those feelings of hunger during that cleanse because you're being healthy but you're tired you're exhausted and you're hungry but you're like no no no i'm healthy this is what i'm supposed to feel like and this is okay and that's not like you need to listen to your body when your body wants what it wants. Like I found out I was anemic because I was like, I'm craving like foods that are high in iron. It turns out I was anemic. Like you gotta listen to your body

when it's craving those things. If you're craving sweets, maybe you're on your, like your period's coming and all of that. Like, and the thing that I also had a struggle once I started working out heavily was that I did start to like gain a lot of muscle and I've never been a muscly person. I like went from being like a chubby tall kid to like just a tall like gangly no boobs kid and or an adult I guess I'm an adult but like I never really had like serious muscles and my clothes were way tighter and weren't fitting and I had to go up in all of my jeans and my trainer was like well yeah you can squeeze fat into jeans you can't squeeze muscle into jeans that's not as pliable and I was like oh true but then what he was like what I like that it stressed me out a

little bit but then i was like here's the thing like i want to have kids i don't want to just exist like until i'm like 27 like i want to live for like so much longer of my life do i want to be like do i think in my head that i'm gonna be at like my prime body type what i want for the rest of my life like i'm i will like i get bloated during my period i like i'm craving something that i want to eat that i know makes me like gassy like i'm not going to like like be perfect quotations and eat everything exactly right and work out exactly right for the rest of my life because like i'm like no one does that who like what am i existing to look like that for like just me like victoria's secret models don't do that like everybody has what they do to be in their

primo shape to feel great before like a night but the mentality that that's how you need to look and feel all the time is just like it's going to be the biggest uphill battle because yeah you're going to get older your metabolism is going to slow down you're going to have kids like there are so many things that are so much more important than like what you think that your body looks like yeah and it affects how your body actually performs and so i think you got to talk to i would say a therapist and a nutritionist i think would be great i think a therapist will probably recommend that just so learning and understanding and i also blame so much of like mainstream media for our issues and relationships with food and even like you know shared about a

cleanse online yeah yeah and like even uh like everybody who grew up in the like moms who grew up in the 80s like are still afraid of fat like they're afraid of avocados yeah and like something where you're hearing all of this different noise from everywhere that you don't really understand but once you really can start to understand the use of food and how your body processes food you're it's it's actually like mind-blowing and makes you feel so much more comfortable and you're not afraid of food because you understand what it's its use is and even if you're still in kind of an unhealthy mindset you understand what your body is going to do with that food and it's way less scary than what you think it is like you're not you're not going to gain

like you're not going to be gaining weight and like unless you're actively doing that which I think I mean at this point you might be needing to do so but yeah I just I don't know this makes me like I get like so passionate because it makes me just sad I know I was like oh right when it started I was like oh yeah and I would too just be in addition what you said just be compassionate and be your own best friend you know be compassionate to the journey that you're on and compassionate to your body and like understand that the fact that there are so many messages that are sent to us that tell us to be a certain weight certain size do a certain cleanse look a certain way whatever and just be compassionate and understanding to that and like be your own

best friend in the way that you know Megan's giving you advice like listen to um your heart listen to your soul and just kind of like I don't know I think get the help yeah yeah there's a website nationaleatingdisorders.org and they have um a contact number for their helpline which is 800-931-2237 and i'll put all the information down in the show notes um they have like they help you find treatment there's also free and low cost support and um and helping with recovery and relapses as well great perfect yeah i was hoping you'd do that i think yeah i think yeah just just and don't and i last thing i'll say is don't be hard on yourself um and feel like i don't know this is something that i think sadly i don't know any girl who hasn't gone through this at any point

i grew up dancing and that was like that's one of the first memories that i have of like dance was being like seeing everyone in leotards and like the girls who were thinner were brought to the front and like something that you learn at a really young age which i really really hope we're changing um but yeah just know that this is something that you haven't fucked up the rest of your life by having this kind of, this thing, this thing happens to a lot of people. And I think it happens to everybody I know. Um, and just know that the more aware of it, you are the, the better off you're going to be. And you're going to be so much happier and feel so much freer because no, no specific number, no, none of that thing. Anyone will tell you no matter

any specific goal, weight or look or anything, it doesn't exist. And that's, that's, that's, that's why it's so dangerous is because it just keeps getting farther and farther away yeah like she even said she's like i'm x number and i you know i don't kind of want to be i'm not there yet yeah and that's you'll never be yeah you'll never be there yeah you'll never be there you have to find a way to really love and appreciate the use of your body and what it was what it's meant to do well best of luck sending you love on to the next i'm kind of a weird problem i guess um i'm 23 and i'm getting married next year uh it's my fiancee who i met on tinder um and we've been together three years and a couple days and then four years we get married and the thing i need advice on is

okay so a lot of times I was like what do I carry every month I kind of get like super horny which I know is like normal but and like make people want to have sex with him a lot but I also don't want to because like I don't know if you know I carry this super super self-conscious and just like I don't feel pretty and I feel like it's gross and like I don't even know how without making a mess that you could do that and like the problem is isn't that like he's not into it because he's totally willing and like more than willing to be like I mean he's the guy so he's like i'll have sex with you whenever and like it's like totally game for having sex in my period but for some reason i just like can't imagine actually doing that even though i really want to because

i'm usually really horny and so i don't know i was just calling you if you had any advice or experience on this kind of situation um yeah no mox lost his uh i mostly lost his period he did he never had one uh he lost his virginity to a girl who uh they were like in the dark and a party and like she didn't tell him that he had her period she had his oh my god fucking shit she had her period and then like the lights came on at one point he just like looked down i was like oh my god and like freaked out and i'm like no and he was like permanently scarred oh it was like her cherry poppy yeah probably or like actually on her i don't know i think he was like a like a young boy who was like my dick is bleeding oh i think that's just i would assume we know we can happen it can

really yeah you can break oh we've had some calls girls broke dicks we got some powerful pussy listeners wow they broke their boyfriends yeah it's a lot of boyfriends who are like yeah we can fuck you're not wet it's totally fine and then they're like oh that broke my dick and they're like see what happens and it bleeds everywhere everywhere that crazy um gosh i mean like the my first thought is like if you're it makes me sad that um there's so much shame from like women about having their own yeah it's so true which like is so sucky because i mean like if you can if you're watching the video right now i do have a heating pad across my stomach because i have or not my stomach my ovaries and my uterus because i have my period right now

um but yeah i think there's like such a stigma yeah and like as if it's gross and dirty when in reality it's like the cleanest thing ever um i would say i would first like for you like masturbate when you have your period like i love to try that first and like see what kind of mess you're making maybe if like you're hella heavy on day two which is me right now you're like not so much in the mood or if you find that you're more horny like towards the end or towards the beginning figure out a what days that you're like okay this is kind of like where i'm bleeding at and like how i feel with this so you kind of like i don't know so you like get a gauge of it because i think also like as girls like whether using like pads or tampons or whatever you really feel like you're

bleeding a lot all the time so i think if you like yeah you can sort of pay attention see how much it actually is you'll probably be surprised it's not as much as you think i use like a cup me too i love cups exactly and it's not that much like it's really cups are the best yeah they are oh cups do you use them no she doesn't like seeing blood no but i think tampon you see more blood i i don't know i'm like i get i'm very i'm a very woozy person it's like you pull out a cup and it's like this much i feel like the cup feels cleaner to me because i'm not like bleed i feel like i bleak i mean if it's day two i like will have to use like a jumbo tampon day two i feel like i leaked a lot yeah yeah i've leaked i've leaked once when i was wearing shorts and no

underwear at my house and my house is so white yeah and i was cooking dinner and moths walked in he goes babe and i was like what and there's like literally all down my legs on like the ground and i was like oh and he's like hop in the shower i'll clean it and i was like thank you so i've now not he's now not afraid of fairies anymore because of mine um but also like yeah i would say masturbate and then like have sex in the shower yeah oh yeah i mean use protection but yeah yeah that's what i was gonna say too yeah put a towel down and go at it yeah but i think if you're afraid to like sex in the shower at all yeah i mean is your boyfriend a lot taller than you yeah but he's like height thing it's yeah i must see height thing and i guess i don't have

like a nice ass shower oh you know what i mean you need like a nice ass shower you fall yeah somebody else i've made it work that's all i gotta say so less clumsy when you're not allowed uh yeah i mean i yeah as long as you're being like safe and protected and all that stuff and try and like just make yourself feel sexy like yeah yeah do it after a night when you're ready like you know what i mean if you got ready for work that day and you feel really good about how you look or put on a nice outfit or maybe like your boobs get bigger i was gonna say that your boobs get like fucking massive yeah and like rock that you know that's like fun um so just like find out what works but i think that's cute yeah and like

yeah turn the lights down throw on some music yeah put a towel underneath you need to feel sexy but also like when you're horny it's like who cares if you feel like you mean like yes who yeah and he's also into it he's down which i think like it's great it'll be wetter and easier yeah hella fucking wet yes yeah very just yeah just towel just towel and clean up yep that's like think of all the times like if like accidentally like blood in your bed as a teenager or like still as an adult still there isn't a pair of sheets that don't have blood on them my mattress every girl's mattress has like a stain on yeah and uh so yeah so just i always tell my boyfriend that every time he's like why do all our sheets have stayed i'm like every girl has stained

sometimes makeup sometimes crumbs but definitely period yeah every and like the whatever it like benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid or whatever that like bleaches it too oh yeah oh for acne 100 so my whole side of the bed is like it's just a different color it's just like tie-dye yeah uh but i mean yeah i don't want to like praise your boyfriend for like go him for wanting have sex on your period because i feel like more guys should be like that but also yeah that's that's great yeah get yourself get off girl go get you some get you some get you some enjoy it bloody happy bleeding yes okay guys we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be back to answer more of your calls

guys we are back from our break and we're gonna hop into the rest of the calls i'm 18 um i'm going into my sophomore year of college and last year when i was a freshman it was like the weekend of Halloween I started hooking up with this guy who is going to be a senior this year and um it was just casual like we were just hooking up for a long time and um so that kept going on and then after like December break and everything the first time I saw him after that he like when I got to his apartment he was saying that like like he missed me so much and he was like so happy I was there and being very loving and it was just very confusing because he had never acted like that to me before and I was kind of caught off guard but I just like kind of

let it go because I didn't really think anything of it and then we were hooking up and then literally in the middle of when we were having sex he asked me if I was hooking up with anyone else and i was like really confused and it was a really bad time and i actually had hooked up with somebody else once while we had been whatever and i lied because it was such a bad moment and i didn't know how to explain it and i felt really bad about it but i lied because i didn't it was a really bad place to say that and then um the next time i see him he was being really rude to me and just kind of like acting strangely and just like really rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel really upset by the time I left his apartment and I ended up just not responding to him anymore

after that after like he had been so rude to me because and I felt really bad about that too because I'm a very upfront person and um I'm very honest and not being able to talk about that because we didn't have that relationship made me feel really bad but i didn't know any other way to resolve it and then this past summer he started talking to me again and about like wanting to hook up again and i just don't really know if it's a good idea she knows you know it's not a good it's not a good idea he's a like classic fuck boy like number one he's like a classic like sensitive as fuck like small dick energy fuck boy yeah like an insecure fuck boy which is the worst kind of fuck boy i wonder if he was like trying to get horny like when he was like asking her if

she hooked up with any dudes if like you know like if she was gonna be like yeah and he's like well i'm gonna be your best you know what i mean some guys are like fucked up in the head or not fucked up but just whatever in the head and that shit turns them on but like they're the person they're hooking up with is like desirable and they like have gotten it or whatever yes well that's a good point i didn't think about that maybe he's all over the place and you don't really like him anyways like you know she never said that she liked him she never said that she was like interested in anything about his personality yeah it's like they just like fell into a bedroom together and just started hooking up and now they're like talking i just like i don't know i'm you don't

you shouldn't feel bad like you don't owe him anything especially like you have never established like monogamy my boyfriend will tell you different where i definitely was like dating other people when we first started dating and then he was like yeah and so like we're like dating and i was like we have not established that and i'm gonna tell you that right now because like i'm i'm saving my own ass like no no no um but i mean yeah unless unless you've had an explicit conversation like that's not it's just like consent it's not implied like monogamy is not implied yeah you have to have that talk and also um and and the whole thing is it's like it's not necessarily like you would have she might not have been opposed to that but like when somebody just assumes like oh no i'm like

i'm the only one who's like you're hooking up with kind of thing i think that's just like i would feel insulted i'd be like bitch no yeah and he was like was he trying to or like he was trying to shame her yeah you know and be like all right had you took up with anyone else and you know like what is she gonna do like no she's gonna lie like what are you gonna do i would have fucking lied too yeah stop talking like inside her inside of her it's almost like kind of a scary situation yeah you know what i mean it's like that's like a very vulnerable which is why he said like that's what he didn't ask you that because like in any other situation yeah he picked this one like you kind of have to lie because it's like you don't know if you

what you if what you say if you're honest is gonna like make him mad or you know what i mean he sounds insecure and like it doesn't necessarily sound like he's a totally bad guy he sounds like he's like inexperienced with women um and that whole like being a dick to you and then reaching out to you again and like that whole thing yes it just screams immaturity and like not wanting to like ever apologize for any actions just like let's move on let's just keep moving on and he doesn't want to commit you know it's like and it doesn't sound like you're into him it's not like you were like we have so much fun he's so good looking he's so smart like you didn't say anything good about him yeah and you're hooking up with other people too so yeah yeah just that other

dick get the other dick leave this dick behind yeah this isn't this isn't this isn't good no boy now let the let the dick graduate yeah let the dick graduate and enjoy your time i want a sure if it says let the dick graduate right now honestly merch ideas well uh have fun in college stay safe sexually and otherwise wise um melissa will tell you to study yeah study and we're on to the next hi megan so i am 23 and i have been with my husband married for about two years and we've been together total for about seven years so my question is how do you become more sexually confident um I've always kind of struggled with body images and I never and I always look at myself and I just I always see things that I can fix and my husband is the most amazing supportive

loving man ever tells me how beautiful I am all the time but I mean of course we see ourselves and our perspective of ourselves is so different than how other people see us. And he wants to try, like, so many, like, new things and, like, which I'm fine, open to try with when, like, having sex and everything, but I'm having a harder time opening up about it because I'm not as confident in my body and what my image is to where, like, I'm confident and comfortable enough to, like,

I guess give him my all. I think that's weird to say, but, um, Yeah, I guess my question is, how do I become more, like, sexually confident in, like, trying new things and being okay without, like, feeling embarrassed and all that stuff? I'm kind of stuck. And I shouldn't ask. I have talked to him about it. We have talked about how it doesn't make me comfortable and how sometimes I'm, like, really embarrassed and I don't really, like, know how to act when we're doing these things. And then he's just so sweet, and he's like, well, let's just take it slow and go through it.

And so we've always done that. But I guess I need more help on how do I help myself with that? Because it's just been a struggle for me for years. And I love him, and I love our relationship. But I really want to be able to, like, be confident in myself and love myself, like, to do that stuff. I don't know. I hope this makes sense. it makes perfect sense embarrassed i know you shouldn't feel especially with your husband and

someone like he's clearly so non-judgmental and supportive like that makes me yeah that makes for me sex is like 99 how good i feel about myself is how much i enjoy sex god yes like and it will be 100 if i come or not if i don't feel hot i'm like i'm done done done it's like it's i literally all about feeling good about myself yeah and like because then you're able to let go and i think that's what she means is like just being able to like let go and not think about her insecurities or think about if he's enjoying herself or think about you know like what's next or whatever and just like being in the moment which is so hard yeah i i mean i think like i mean always my advice is masturbate it's like my advice for everything i think like you need either like what should i do

about like school and you're like masturbate like always the answer to everything it is um i think like you need i don't know where what you're like i don't know like like sex not even education but like you're like growing up the relationship with sex that you had because i think if you had sort of like um whether it was like religious or community based or family based that it was something that wasn't really talked about especially with like even if it's obviously not with your i mean not obviously but maybe not with your family but even maybe not with your friends and not really being exposed to um like your own like sex as something that was like you're like something that you had power over that wasn't just like a thing in movies and all

that stuff i think it can kind of feel even if you're having sex it can kind of feel like an unknown still yeah so i think especially because they've been together seven years so since you were 16 yeah so she's probably her he's your only partner so which i learned a lot of sex shit by fucking fucking other people other people yeah which i mean if you want i mean if you guys want to have an open relationship try that but no who knows i think like you need to figure out what it is if there's any sort of shame in sex i think you need to like get rid of that and do some research explore a explore your own body explore what you like and then um like look at like look if you want to look into porn and see different things that turn you on and then also

know that this is somebody who's committed their life to who loves you so much who's has never judged you before and never looked down on you and never like made you feel embarrassed like you're even saying that this is like feelings that you've all felt just on your own know that like he's not going to be like he he signed up for for that vagina like he committed to that vagina like he loves you he loves the way you look he loves yeah fully dedicated to that pussy holy holy matrimony with that pussy holy matrimony another good one second shirt um so yeah just know know that and i think like i at least i feel that like there's certain things you can do that make you feel like sexy like i don't feel sexy after i've eaten a giant fucking meal yeah same

or if like i have like a face mask on but like i also so much of my which i mean who like healthy or not so much of like when i feel really sexy is when i know like my partner like my boyfriend thinks that I'm sexy and like that kind of feeling so I think if there is that like does like coming from him too or knowing like oh he really loves when I wear this like that makes like him like I love the way he looks at me then like that's when you really feel super hot and so I think um I don't know like focusing a lot on like the lead up to it and keeping that confidence and then um yeah also the i think so much confidence in sex comes from like be the confidence you get from being able to please your partner and then you're like haha i did that i'm the best i win um i think

you'll you'll gain a lot of sexual confidence there but it it's a total total learning curve yeah and he's been in this for the long haul too like it's anything that you do and try now like what's the worst that can happen yeah like you'll laugh about this and be like oh my god like this isn't like and you're like oh my god this is funny you laugh it off you guys love each other you can laugh during and that I feel like my 20s were figuring out like what turned me on like what I enjoyed in sex and what like how I felt about my body in sex and how I could enjoy my body and how I could be present with my body and that women need more lead-up time for sex especially if you're married and you guys have been together for so long you you really need

to like take it so slow to like turn yourself on to be turned on to be in the moment to be in your body like way more than you probably think and i think when you first start dating someone you know you can get turned on very quickly and you can come much faster but as you get used to it your body kind of responds so it's like making sure to you know figure out what it is whether it's watching porn or whether it's masturbating um you know porn can be like a little overwhelming too if you do have any shame around sex and especially if you're from you know like where i'm from but it does help to understand like what actually does turn you on and as a 23 year old married like to someone that you've been together with for so long like don't overthink it and don't

kind of like take yourself out of the moment by running a story in your head that says i'm uncomfortable with sex or i don't know what i like or i'm not enjoying this or i'm scared to try new things and just like let all of that preconceived notions of you as it relates to sex go away and just try and be in the moment as much as possible if that's buying lingerie if that's lighting candles if that's having a clean bed if that's taking a bath if that's planning sex maybe you want to plan it so you feel sexy so you can get ready or maybe you like it sporadic but it's all a learning process and try and make it fun and not so much pressure yeah you shouldn't be thinking so much when you're having sex. If you're having good sex, you're not going to be

thinking that much. It should be fun. And like, you're going to have it again. That's the thing is like, if one time like sucks and you're like, okay, so we tried to do anal, whatever. And it was weird. And you weren't prepared and you shit the bed and you were like, okay, I don't like that. Then guess what? You're having, there's another day and there's another opportunity for sex. So it really needs to about this like journey for you, both you and your husband to like discover each other more to like learn more about each other to kind of like come closer together and you're so lucky that he's making it very open and playful and fun and you kind of need to try your best to like respond in that way to make sure that you are um allowing yourself to enjoy

yeah yeah and i think you'll if you listen to what he says he wants to try and all that stuff too even if you don't want to be the person who's coming up with like oh let's try this because you don't have you're not super confident just be like a team player be game for what he wants to try and then through that you're a gonna gain you'll gain that you're feeling you're gaining more experience and like not just like oh we've only done these three positions and like i've only been with him you'll feel like you're gaining more experience even though it's with the same person you're gonna get that and then you'll be able to like figure out either you really like those things and you're like cool this makes me think i want to try something like this or it

just makes you more comfortable trying different things and i think once you see the fact that like he's not thinking about like he's thinking about like how great your tits look like he's not thinking about the things that you're like self-conscious thinking about as when you start the more practice that you can have and the more example you see of him not like judging you again and again and again you're gonna be like oh why am i thinking about something when he's clearly not like yes he is not yeah he's not at all he's just thinking like don't come too fast don't come too that's what he's got baseball and for me self-care too like just like shaving my leg it's so bad this is how lazy I am but shaving my legs like lighting candles or like journaling or just like

dumb self-care stuff that makes me connect more to myself and like prioritize myself and like kind of just get centered really helps me to have sex because I also slow down yeah so sometimes it's also hard you know if she works a nine-to-five if he's works a nine-to-five she comes home and you know it's like 6 p.m they've had dinner she had a full dinner she had like a long day at work to like get turned on is kind of like a total mind switch so like there is a process to you for caring for yourself enough to let yourself go in sex and really like enjoy the process yeah yeah you got this girl have fun get freaky yeah that's a great situation that sounds awesome okay are we on to the segment we're calling listeners advice listeners advice still

workshopping yeah we're trying to figure it out so this is where uh you guys callers have called in and gave gave it and you're you're given advice additional fucking titties okay callers have called in because that's what they do they're calling and you've given your own advice on previous episodes and advice that we've given so they're throwing their two cents in see we're workshopping the name and also like the short like bio very fucking tense all right so this is from um the episode 45 with hannah hart where uh the caller original caller she felt pressure from her fiance because he his libido was way higher than hers was and this is someone that had similar experience and they're sharing their own advice right I'm actually in a very similar situation

um this is the girl who feels like she's being pressured by her fiance I'm not being pressured by my fiance but my fiance does have a much bigger libido than I do um and we've been together for three and a half years we're getting married in November I'm super super excited about it and he wasn't really into porn but something that I did that was empowering for me and great for him I did a boudoir shoot I went and did a boudoir shoot and someone at Shutterfly got quite the show because I made it had to make it into a book and I gave him that and I got him a flashlight and that's his thing and now he loves it he could still get what he wants from me and out of that boudoir shoot it was something I love doing I felt so empowered as a woman and so like proud of my

body in that shoe and it was so much fun but he's able to um handle his own needs and it not be it doesn't make me feel pressured but also allows him to uh i'm babbling but basically it lets him take care of that in a way where he's not watching porn he is able to use me as that thing oh my god that's genius that's so genius i was hoping we would talk about fleshlight today oh my god do you know what i also didn't know there's a not the new name but pocket pussy i Oh, yeah. I thought I thought pocket pussy. See, a flashlight's the one I had heard about. Well, the flashlight's just the brand name.

I saw that. Did you watch that YouTube video about that porn star who, like, she's, like, the flashlight vagina, and she, like, went to, like, tour the factory? No one's ever gone, like, too high on YouTube? No? Okay. I'm sorry. What do you mean you have not watched that? So, do they mold it? Do they have to put, like, stuff in to mold it?

I don't know. They don't put it inside you. On another show that I do, we had a porn star on, so I know how this is. They, um, they um put the mold on the outside so they make the outside look like you the inside is just whatever they do just just yeah because there's no way for them to get inside to get how it would feel for them whoa yeah how would you get it out right you know um yeah i thought it'd be like goo and then they like mold and they pull it out yeah but if your vagina like

angles one way if you're wet it won't harden yeah yeah i would not be wet if that was what was happening to me literally yeah peel me apart what a champion yeah no I love that I love that such a good idea I know so many of my friends that have done boudoir shoots that have loved it oh I would love to do that they love it like I they've had the best experience they feel so good about themselves like I just think it's such a great idea yeah I think that's so fun and I think that's such like a uh healthy relationship uh especially coming from you where you're like saying that he he wasn't into he's not into porn and then as opposed to just being like okay well i'm still not gonna do this like you were able to take this and turn this into like arts and crafts

for you i know like that's so sick i love that yeah that's genius i think that's a really really really smart idea and also like a great gift idea guys for the holidays dude i do not know what would do if i got him a pocket pussy he would be like is this a trap oh no that might be yeah this is a trick uh no you know i don't want this no take it back give me a golf club but i love that boudoir shoes yeah that's amazing that's how we should get our publicity that's what you guys should do that'll be so my god don't tempt me i'll do it i don't mind being naked on anybody you guys can like slap her with like a little like it would be yes so funny make it like a bdsm guys we have to what is this podcast about right not safe for work

my gosh maybe the monster bed listen to it if that was like our fucking like title card just our tits they're like i love this yeah oh my god oh it'd be so great i also don't know who took the pictures of her i know dude i was thinking that i'm like it's like a sister or a cousin no it's probably she went somewhere to get him taken most of them it's like dudes to be honest all my friends that have done it you can actually like group ons for boudoir shoots too wow so be careful be safe oh totally yeah don't don't don't do that scary and then also like if you want to do i think be so funny like actually i lied i have done i haven't done one but my friend um her boyfriend was going isn't her current boyfriend or one that she did before

um yeah they were going away and uh she wanted to take like super sexy cute photos of her and uh we did that for her and it was like so fun i love that and also like it wasn't even i think like different ways that you would probably shoot it like either you could feel really sexy and awesome and great and feel really sexy and confident but then also like we were also just like dying laughing and like the pictures turned out great but like even if you don't want to even you don't really feel necessarily like you feel a little more embarrassed about it you can do it and still laugh and think it's ridiculous and then you still get really hot sexy photos out of it and you're like if you only knew how much we were all laughing behind the

yeah i did one my friend um she was in a long distance relationship and so i took him for her and it was so much fun i love that because like girls and girls can be like okay lift okay great your boob looks great now arch your back perfect oh my god your ass looks so good thank you we need some baby oil exactly like slather you up oil you up girl oh my god listen what a sweetheart i love that genius oh i love it well guys that's our episode thank you so much for being oh my god this is so fun now promo yourself tell everybody obviously if you guys don't listen to their podcast the almost 30 podcast it's great yes almost 30 is the podcast i i've i've been listening i did a which one who did i just listen to it just says oh i cannot say her name for the fucking life of

me eliza eliza schlesinger schlesinger schleslinger schlett yeah she's she's cool right oh my well i'm i've like always loved her and thought she was so funny yeah and i had just on this show um yeah okay you could for sure easy um loved her netflix special and it was like so fun good because i hadn't heard any interviews um from her post that and so that was really fun to like get that i felt really lucky that she came but yeah she's amazing so almost 30 podcasts almost 30 on instagram almost 30 in itunes that's pretty much it and then yourself come on yeah oh yeah um i have a blog it's 100 blog keep it 100 and it's 100 blog on instagram and i'm Krista Williams.

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picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then oh Thank you.