Don't Blame Me! - S3E4: Guest: Aislinn Paul - Dad Sleeping with Brother’s Wife?

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

Merry Christmas!!! Our gift to you is Aislinn Paul. She’s back and we’re sharing our advice on what to do if your boyfriend’s mom thinks your boobs too small, how to take a mental health break from your friend, dealing with your friend wanting to hit your boyfriend with a car, and what to do if your boyfriend double taps porn star’s pictures. We also have a caller sharing her advice on dating someone in an open relationship. Follow Us! @dontblamemepod @meghanrienks @aislinnpaul @sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME'. This episode is also brought to you by Sun Basket and JustFab. Please support them! Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

merry fucking christmas everybody don't talk about me while i'm right here all three of us perfect uh or um guys if you're not watching this i mean if you're listening to this merry christmas but after you listen to this you should also watch it because we're not going to tell you what you'll see but it's festive as fuck so go watch it on youtube after you've listened to it you'll get a different sense or experience um welcome back to the podcast guys this is don't blame me the advice podcast and this is a festive as fuck episode because the holidays this one specific one happy christmas harry happy christmas ron

oh so good i'm not a potter it's okay there's only two lines there's nothing for you to say i mean i got what it was but you're not a potterhead no or a pothead that sounds great right about now some weed no no no i got you you got it you're there um okay guys this is an advice podcast uh you have all been here before back by popular demand is acelyn paul yeah thank you so much for demanding i feel so special so much it is the most we've ever been requested for anyone back yeah i think it's because you you weren't in all of season two but you were in two episodes of season one leave the people one more they're like where is she like around all the time literally all the time we were talking about

that last night where it was like you guys could have picked a more attainable guest like it's like have acelyn back i'm like sick see her every fucking day this is easy breezy can just have like yeah i want to roll by she rode with me here today yeah and also if this is in december you if you're a megan fan and not a fan of me i apologize because you're gonna get a huge dose of me all in all of my december content around which if you guys aren't watching go watch it um so guys uh check out our pajamas if you're watching melissa would you like to describe yours i have on a gray long sleeve something heather gray heather gray yeah it's very soft it's nice and it says resting grinch face on it where did you buy this tarjay recently right yeah like

yesterday that's amazing because i have no pajamas because she sleeps in the nude a uh a son's wearing would you like to talk about your pants already oh sure they're um they're a lovely plaid with uh some small green stripes mixed in with mostly red and black and white so the traditional christmas pants yeah yeah very traditional christmas pants uh they were inherited uh from megan because she used to own these and then wash them and then they were too short for her but now they're perfectly lengthed on me so you can just envision what they look like on me the first time i tried them after washing it was like beyond caprice they were not cute and then i'm wearing um just a classic buffalo plaid with some great um men's

socks all this is from old navy not sponsored but it was at one point which is why i have so much um so guys you should be definitely watching this as well but if you're listening don't worry just close your eyes and picture it and then go watch it don't close your eyes you're probably driving so keep your eyes open and then once you can sit down watch the video with uh with the your eyes they can um okay guys so uh who's ready to give some advice i guess that's me it is you yeah and melissa i'm not gonna give advice yeah hey um if you guys uh have some christmas drama maybe i mean it won't happen on christmas this christmas now but i mean if you like holiday drama you've got things happening in your life and you want to be on an upcoming episode or not

even want to be because maybe you don't want your life to go to shit but you're like i i need some help because it's happening without my consent which is usually how your life turns to shit you're like i didn't ask for this um you can give us a call at 310-694-0976 international uh listeners slash viewers you can email us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com So without further ado, shall we begin? We shall. We shall. Hi, Megan.

I am 22, and I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. I'm totally in love with him, and we talk about being together forever all the time. My problem is with his family. They act like they love me, but his mom makes comments about my appearance and passively judges me often. For example, she tells me often that my boobs are too small, which he hasn't complained, so I'm not sure what the problem is. I'm not typically one to let someone make me feel bad about myself, so it's pretty

easy for me to look past her comments. But his sister has become even more of a problem. She's completely obsessed with him, and it's weird. For one example, she got married recently and invited me to her lingerie shower, which was first off weird. Second off, everyone was wearing pajamas, and she walks in the room wearing my boyfriend's t-shirt. She didn't ask, she just took it out of his closet like it was normal, and for the

record, she still has it. I could go on and on, but my main question is how do I handle this jealousy I have towards my boyfriend's sister? He's the baby of the family, so I try to tell myself that's why his mom and his sister act this way, but it just drives me insane. She wants to be my friend and be close to me, but I just can't get past the fact that she has some creepy attachment to my boyfriend. If I talk to him about it, he gets defensive for obvious reasons because she's his sister, but I just can't get past it, and it makes me so uncomfortable to even be around her. please help anything would be appreciated ew ah wow fuck this family oh wait did she say how old she is she's 22 22 and they've been together for like a year okay you're not gonna like what i'm gonna say i'm a little cutthroat recently if anyone hasn't noticed um you just like you can't

really as much as like you want to change people and like make it make them see how you see this which like also just so you know like you're you've called into a podcast of people who have just like made stank faces and been like yeah we're on your side like yeah we fully agree with you but i think if you've already tried to bring it up to him and it's like not changing and it's weird that uncomfortable feeling that you have like it's not really going to go away i think like if you if he's not sticking up for you to his mom and his mom saying that stuff melissa made the great comment of like you saying like she's saying that her boobs are too small like for what like that to me is just so negative and so mean that like him letting him them do that and say

that to you and him not like not only not confronting them making them stop but like if they don't stop cutting them out that just shows how much he truly cares about you um and i think it's as much as you think like a year in like this is great like he's awesome like i love him we talk about a future together i don't think like the family stuff isn't going to be you're not going to win that i've tried to win that battle you won't win that battle and you have to decide like do i want to suck it up and deal with this for the rest of my life or do i not want to and you don't have to like and i know this has come up on a previous podcast where you guys have talked about like the family thing is so difficult because for all of us we if we have

a relationship with our family that's usually a relationship that's been lifelong yeah and so for then someone else to come into your life you are weighing those options of like am I taking my family side or my partner side and that's a much newer relationship um that yeah it's going to be difficult at any point if you're going to try and fight him on this and bring it up in any way that is going to be meaningful it's really a really difficult spot and I've known uh when I was in my teens I knew a guy who was like this and it was really it was hard it kind of like prevented a lot of things because his family was so like protective of him and it makes you feel like you just can't win if you're suddenly you're already losing when you walk in because the family's

already made yeah decisions about who you are because they're not you're not good enough for their kid yeah i think it's also just kind of like it's just like a weak guy move to like let yeah let mom and sister take punches and not say anything i think that's just the sign of like a partner who's not gonna be supportive and useful in the future useful but you know what i mean like in in a circumstance where you guys get an apartment together or something is he gonna let your landlord say shitty things to you or like is he going to get involved in other situations where that kind of thing really matters and i've heard um you know it's also important to think about the future if you see a future with him but now think about it if you guys have kids and those

people in those people are still in your life are you going to let them make remarks like that to your children and then are you going to still be okay having a partner or husband who will stand by while those things are your children are criticized the same way you're criticized or also you know in 20 years do you want to still be going over to their house for Thanksgiving or whatever holiday and feeling left out because they won't accept you and I think like there's like no matter what like i've never known anyone who hasn't kind of struggled especially like as the girlfriend with like the boyfriend's family like it's hard and it's definitely like there's some shit that just kind of comes with the territory of that but it's only to an extent

like it's like that like mother-in-law or like your boyfriend's mom thing like it should be purely not should be like it typically is like purely passive-aggressive but if you get to a point where she's like making direct comments about you and he's not sticking up for you he can't defend that because so much of what happens is the guy be like you're reading too much into it you're reading too much into it he the cards have been laid out on the table and if he's not changing anything about it i wouldn't it's the same way that you wouldn't let someone in your life talk about him like that he shouldn't do that like not even a gender thing like that you're a girl and he's a guy but like if he's taught if people in his life are talking about

you in a way that you wouldn't let people like you'd stop your friends or your family from talking about him in that way realize he's not doing that and there are partners who will do that for you and you don't need you shouldn't be with somebody who you have to tell them over and over and over again like by the way please don't let your mom say that like make comments about my appearance and my boobs are too small and this is really hard because I wish there I feel bad because I'm not really giving advice we're just saying like oh he and his whole family kind of suck and I wish there was constructive advice to give here and I would if the circumstances were maybe a little different if it was something about like there were cultural differences or it was like a specific activity

that the family always did together if you could somehow find a way to find some common ground but her making remarks about your body like i'm not gonna turn around and tell you to get a boob job or something like that's just a fucked up thing to say to you and she is an adult woman who's raised children should know that and it's not her place to say anything and it seems like the sister also has some like has grown up with some weird boundary issues and it just feels like they're trying to hurt you and sabotage you i don't know what you could do better yeah and i don't think and i think if it wasn't your it wasn't a comment your boobs would be a comment about something else like i think the goal from them is to make you feel uncomfortable i don't

know what the fuck is up with the sister that brother sister relationship thing is now like blowing my mind hella weird that there's like that kind of that sort of issue there i think like especially when it comes to the mom or whatever like if you're if this is like detrimental to you and making you feel shitty which if it was me i would totally feel like that it's it's not worth it because like you can't fix it you didn't do anything wrong in the situation like nothing that you're doing is wrong it just sounds like they're looking for reasons to hate you and to push you away so you can be the evil like villain bitch who dumped their son as opposed to them telling their son hey like we don't no one's good enough for our son we don't want you

to date we want to keep you in a bubble forever like they're trying to be like cool to him and then push you away and make that you know i mean like make that happen like they're trying to orchestrate a breakup that comes from your side not his and not that i'm saying he wants to break up with you i mean they're like it's like they're just fucking trying to sabotage your relationship and i wonder if he's had any other long-term relationships before this if you can bring it up to him in a constructive way just say like hey like if you have had previous girlfriends has this been an issue with you guys before have you felt that kind of pressure do you notice it um or if this is his first like long serious more serious relationship maybe that's also a big thing

is that now the family's getting so reactive because they've never had to deal with it before but i mean like the fact that like she brought it up to him and like he's like not doing anything about it like the point of like you have to be explicit that's something that like when it gets to this point which i've had to do this where it's like no your mom said this about me like this isn't just me having like a feeling and like there's been some like comments that couldn't be construed like this and they like it took until me saying like no no this is what so and so said about me this is literally verbatim it until like there starts to be some recognition there but even then it might not necessarily change and you need to know that know that like

like it sounds stupid to say like talk to your friends about it too but like you're able survey your friends and like you've actually kind of done this by calling to the podcast we're telling you that the relationship is strained between the like mother and like boy like sons girlfriends or whatever but like this is a different level so i think knowing know that we're saying that this is like reached an extreme level that like isn't it's showing that your boyfriend's care like who who his loyalties lie with and like who he's gonna let talk who's who who he's okay with like treating a certain way and like having everyone in his life treat a certain way um but like yeah if you would talk to your friends about this i promise you that people will say that these

relationships are hard but like you've reached that this is way past that point like now it's just like vile and mean and intentionally trying to hurt you um and then him not doing anything is just being like okay so do you want me to like break up with myself because like what is it it just seems to me like a very weak move and a year into a relationship is not that long i don't want to sound like a negative person but like don't i don't want you to feel like oh we've talked about the future i've talked about the future so many guys i've dated not like real real future all the time but like i don't know like enough that like you you can see that with multiple people and i shouldn't sacrifice your well-being for the sake of the future you've imagined for yourself with

that person yeah because that's not important enough you can always rebuild and come up with a new future with someone else that is going to treat you better and put you first yeah and there's there's so much about like feeling ready and capable and thinking about a future it doesn't really have to do with your partner it has to do where your mindset's at and your mindset might have been there and you felt like good and accomplished and you felt like you kind of had a handle on everything and it just happened to coincide with being in a relationship with this guy, but that doesn't mean that that feeling of like security and like seeing a future that doesn't, it doesn't, that doesn't live and die with him. Like that sense of maturity comes from

you. And as like you get older and you like, like grow up, like you're going to be able to see like there's so many people have a, there's so many single women just in general, raising children who've decided they want to have a family. Like you can, that sense of like wanting to like have a future doesn't rely on like having a partner to necessarily do that with like you can see it with a specific partner but i think more than anything you're gonna realize that that's so much more about you and we're also going way past like into the far future you're only 22 it's like i would actually love uh for you to call back i want to hear more context if you like do like talk to your boyfriend more or confront the mom what happens what goes on oh my god are you gonna

confront the mom yeah do it i mean wow is that your thing no i'm absolutely kidding i think we just switch bodies right here i don't know i think i don't think there's anything wrong with that like you're sure she's a mother figure an adult and you're 22 and i know even at 24 i have this feeling of like not quite being an adult yet but you are an adult and you also are a person and you deserve respect and she's not respecting you. And so if standing up for yourself is the thing you feel you need to do, fucking do that. Yeah. Confrontation is cathartic. My last words before I die in a fist fight. No, I mean, if I were, if honestly, to like give you that kind of like bad older sister advice or bad cousin, I feel like your sister was like, cares more about

like, I mean, I care about you, but I just mean like your sister like thinks about consequences more as your bad, like bad older cousin. I would just fully retaliate like the next time she says something like get yourself invited to dinner go over to dinner the next time she said something and she says like your boobs are too small and you'll be like really like what like would you how do you think yours are i feel like yours are a little too big i think your ankles are too big yeah like i would literally just retaliate or the sister like wearing a boyfriend's shirt and i would literally like make a joke of being like okay cersei wearing his shirt like make a fucking joke about incest like that's like a fight i'm like a i'm and i'm also a leo's like

fight fire with fire kind of a thing but like at a certain point also if he wants to make that claim of being like it's all innocent and fun you're like is it innocent and fun if i participate does it also still remain innocent and fun and i think then you can kind of see maybe there's a double standard maybe they're allowed to talk about you like that but that'll definitely be strategy number two i think oh that's like you might break up just by the way like that might be like if you're okay and you've like then you know what we might end this if you want to go out in flames i feel like that's it man happy holidays guys so many fucking great should we go on to the I'm 19. I'm currently listening to your podcast with Hannah. And it just made me realize that I need to finally call in and ask about this question. So I am currently in a relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for a little over two years. And the major thing that's going on in our relationship currently is that she has very bad OCD, PTSD, depression, anxiety, all of that mess.

and for like the majority of our relationship I've been like her sole happiness like if I'm not happy she's not happy she thinks something's wrong and then you know we end up getting an argument because she thinks like I'm being distant and then I have to end up apologizing because I'm just like oh no I'm not distant and like I'm not really capable of being open about having bad days and like recently I'm trying to get into nursing school and so it's just been really really hard emotionally with my anxiety and depression like that I've had previously years past it's coming back now and I've just realized that like I'm trying to stay above water with everything in my life and my relationship also isn't helping me um I had a conversation

with her and I was like hey I'm going to counseling I just got put on antidepressants like I'm going to try to do whatever I can but I don't know if this relationship is fulfilling me in the way that it should as far as like me getting better and I'm very like independent because I'm an only child so like for me to get better I need to be on my own and I mean I think that she kind of understood it but like mostly it just seemed like she was crying because she was sad that like our relationship was going to be over and I understand but I don't necessarily know how to like completely end it because I know in my head that I'm like done and I don't want to be in the relationship anymore but when you're like dealing with someone who's like really sad

and like you know that they're not happy without you like after that conversation my friend was rooming with her in college and she says like she comes home from school and all she does is cry like she can't even do her homework like me personally I can't hurt somebody like that and so knowing that by breaking up with her like it's going to cause all that pain and even though like her and the relationship is hindering me and my happiness like I keep living for her and other people and I was just really needing advice on like how to let go because being in a relationship with someone who's like that emotionally like not okay is really really hard into dreams like me and me realizing like hey I'm not doing so well like I need to just focus on me but I don't know

how to focus on me without hurting her even though like I don't know even necessarily know if I'm in love with her anymore I know I love her but I feel like you kind of already know and you just want our permission to do this like from the way you're talking about it you're very self-aware and you know that it's hurting you being in this relationship and you know what's best for you is to not be in it but you feel guilty because there's someone else who's really been emotionally dependent on you but you have to put yourself first there is just no other answer or option there like your mental health is so important and it's just as important as hers and you should be putting yourself first there. I understand completely the guilt and feeling bad about

letting someone else sort of be left on their own. But she also has to learn a certain amount of independence and how to deal with her own emotions on her own. And something also to remember, too, as much as, yeah, she might be crying and having a hard time with this breakup and her roommates telling you all that. Most people, even people without like who don't struggle with anxiety or depression are also heartbroken at the end of a two-year relationship they also cry and eat like ice cream out of a tub of like it just is normal and so you can't you can't let that guilt put you back in an unhealthy place because then neither of you are going to grow yeah i'm i'm totally with you on that and exactly i think i think you know and

the thing is is like as much as it seems like being with her is like that's what's going to help her. If you're not in love with her, it's just hindering her. Like in order to protect both of you, you got to break up with her and like fully do that. And as much as it feels like I'm the sole source for happiness and all of those things, as somebody who's been your girlfriend, like the last thing I would have needed is for like one of my exes to feel guilty and obligated and bad to stay there because that just makes me feel worse. Like that's like, and I know that, Like, it's not like, I don't want to be with somebody. And again, the making this about me, whatever. Um, but like being, I don't want to be with somebody and no one should, who

feels like they have an obligation to be there because my happiness relies on them. My half, your happiness can only rely. It should never rely on somebody else, but it only ever would really rely on somebody else. When you're truly happy. The second that it becomes pity, it's not going to help her. It's just going to make her feel worse and feel shittier. And even if in the moment, it seems like this is a kind of a quick fix, no matter what, if you guys had stayed together or not, like her mental health needs to become her priority and her responsibility. She's going to learn that anyway. She's going to learn that faster on her own. So if anything, you're doing her a favor and you're doing her own mental health a favor while

helping yourself because you can't really grow mentally if you're going through that kind of stuff with another person because you have somebody else there. Like you have somebody who you can rely on and you have somebody who you can kind of invest your time and energy. And so you don't have to focus internally, but when you have that time and that separation from there, she's going to learn how to like self-soothe. It's kind of like a bait, like a, I mean, I don't know anything about like parenting and like crying it out and the babies and stuff, but like, it's an important thing that people need to under, people need to learn regardless, like regardless of like any sort of like mental health background i think like knowing that you

know her you're friends with her roommate and everything like that i think like the most important thing overall is to know that she's like safe so like if that means that like you have like like if you're in contact with like any of her other friends or like if you guys have ever been to like a counselor together like somebody else because if you feel responsible and knowing like maybe she's like told you certain things like about like her mental uh well-being that she's never told other people and you feel nervous or responsible for her wellbeing because you're the only one who knows something. And then if you're not in her life and no one else knows, you're afraid of like something she might do to someone else or to herself. So you need to

relinquish that responsibility and that control onto somebody else who is professionally equipped to do that. I don't, I don't care if it, as somebody who suffers from like mental health problems, like I don't care if it sounds shady. Like if someone did this to me and I was in the physician, like, sure. Like bring me to a counselor and have a counselor know, and someone check in on me. If I'm in school, talk to my school counselor, talk to my roommate, like talk to my, like talk to someone in my life who can also then check in on me. They don't have to tell me that that's why they're checking in, but just so you can relinquish some of that. I don't know, feeling like you're the only person who knows something. Cause I had friends who stayed in relationships

with, um, like the other friends of mine who are also dealing with mental health issues. And like, they're all like, why are you like, you guys aren't good for each other. Why are you staying? and he finally admitted he's like she was suicidal and like i was really afraid if i had left like i didn't want to tell anybody but i didn't i didn't i was afraid if i left something would have happened and if it would be my fault because i didn't do anything and um and oh sorry we trigger warning to that i'm so i should have well we can do the show notes but uh but yeah and so that was something for uh that like once he we were able to contact her family and like let them know and we were like you need to end this because this is like really hurting you and in turn you're hurting

her like she's not getting she can sense that you're not all there and like it's she's and it's still relying solely on you to do that emotional work for her and she's not figuring out her own thing i'm not saying that she's gonna just wake up one day and have a journey that's like quick who knows how long it'll take her but the main thing here is that it's not your responsibility and it's not a question of you know if you were stronger or in a better emotional plays you can do it you're not weak for not being able to handle her stuff as well as yours no she's the only one who can handle it no relationship that she'd be in is going to be able to handle it like she needs to get a good grasp and control on it and then she's able to

be in a relationship but until she's there this was this will happen in any relationship it's not any a weight that anyone else should carry i think it's like when when you're like what do what do i always say like functioning if i'm like i'm like we want to be a functioning depressed person like and in a relationship there are certain things and certain things that i need out of a relationship or certain ways that like on a day-to-day can like help with this thing that i constantly struggle with but like if i'm in the worst place ever it's not anyone else's responsibility for me to get like to get out of that except for me because if i don't learn how to do that and that person's gone how am i going to know how to do it and i think you want it's

empowering for her to give her the chance to really come through this on the other end and then i think just don't and i've like made this mistake before but like breaking up with somebody and then like talking to them afterwards and like still having like a don't check in on her like as much as you you're doing that for you think you're doing that for her and you might be it's just gonna make it worse like because then you're also still performing the same function you were before but now getting even less emotional support than you were for yourself because now you've just taken yourself out of the role of girlfriend and turn yourself into like a counselor who checks in and that is still leaving that weight on your shoulders so and it's backtracking from her

thinking that you're you're giving an inch and it's going to be like oh this is this it's like this anytime anyone gets like broken up with or anything or you finally start to get over it's like suddenly you start seeing them places like out of the blue it's like they knew you were doing good and they just started to text you so i think um because it's not really it's these kind of breakups suck because you obviously still care about her and you don't hate her you also kind of have to let her hate you if she wants to hate you and like you've got like you've got that your her roommate who you're friends with and like that does make the situation sticky and complicated but i think right now you just you know you've said this you really know just like be the big

person in the situation let her hate you if she wants to vilify you fine if that's what she needs to do to get over this and like go through this journey but prioritize your own mental health and then by doing that your fear of not taking care of her that will take care of her like by you prioritizing you you're going to be a better partner to whoever you're going to be with and she's going to learn how to be a better partner to somebody else yeah and i'll also put a link in the show notes with information on how you can help family and friends cope with mental health issues hi negan so i'm 23 years old and um i've kind of been like a sticky situation between my best friend who's also my roommate and um a guy that i really have feelings for so you know

it's one of those things that my best friend doesn't like him at all and i knew that they basically from what i understood like i knew that they had made out twice like ages ago that was where she and I were friends and I had feelings at the same time but that was very you know much in the past basically um she's been really unsupportive lately about me talking to him um and hey he's actually coming up to be my date to a wedding um and basically she's been really aggressive saying she wants to hit him with her car like if he's banned from the house if um you know he's in the house she'll call the police and I confronted her and basically was like Why are you still like this?

Because it hurts my feelings that you're not being supportive of, you know, potentially being with somebody I want to be with. And she basically said, because she actually used to have feelings for him and she never had closure and she's really upset and she's really hurt by him and she just doesn't want to deal with him. And I guess my question is, what do I do? Because I've wanted to be with him a really long time and I think that's potentially going to happen.

And, but I don't want to lose her or alienate her. I feel really stuck. And in this moment, we lost another caller. um i think no matter what this is going to be an either or situation and you just have to decide what's more important to you i don't want it to be judgmental because honestly i don't know your friendship with this roommate maybe you guys weren't always that close and now you're happy to move out and you really think this guy could be the one i don't know like i don't i i know i'm not talking i'm personally i'm personally usually on the side of like female friendships

i think you should put those first because i think it's important to cultivate those and have those in your life as opposed to the chance of a relationship when those when that's a maybe and the friendships are for sure i think that's the thing to do but at the same time i don't want it to be a judgmental thing of like you can never be you can never have love like throw that away simply for this reason um but i think yeah you just kind of have to weigh your options here and decide what you want to do moving forward because there is no way to have both you're gonna hurt somebody here yeah i that's exactly you you no matter you don't get both you don't get to keep the friend you don't get to keep the guy um so here's what i'll say i've done some shitty things

in my life so i'd say one of the prime examples so two examples um one in high school uh my friend had a crush on a guy for a really really really long time and she had dated people in between but he was kind of always like a guy that she had a crush on and uh but it was i i knew she had a crush on him but like nothing had ever happened between them so i was able like in my head got fucking wasted and hooked up with him one night and i didn't tell her he told her because he's a fucking dick great kisser though great kisser one of the few guys i've ever made out with where i was like i would like to have sex with you just for making out with you usually it's like you don't get that feeling but i was like wow um she was like so so so mad at me and immediately as

soon as i found like as soon as i woke up the next morning so it's like drunk at a party as soon as i woke up the next morning i felt so guilty because even though that drunk night i could justify it in my head I was like fuck no if this like if I had been her if like this if I was a situation if this was like a guy that I had a crush on or had a thing with or whatever like I would be super hurt and like him and I weren't even anything but it took even just that me making out with a guy that she had like she had never even been with but she had like a crush on took us months to recover in our friendship and I like never spoke to him again and I felt super guilty and then another time this happened to me I was really young when this one happened

and it was this girl that I was friends with and she had a crush on this guy but it was a very similar thing they had like talked for a little bit and then they stopped and then like I didn't really even wasn't close with her at the time that it happened him and I started talking and she just started getting really hostile to me I asked her why it was and it's because she had feelings for him and she was like I don't want you to date him like you have to choose between the two of us i chose him he didn't choose me because he found out that she had said that and he's like i would never want to do that to you as friends and in that moment i was like oh my fucking god i picked you and you picked my friendship with her that you have nothing

invested in and i never felt more like a fucking idiot and so stupid her and i never be like we're never friends again after that because she knew i didn't pick her and this guy made me feel like a shitty woman like a shitty feminist because even like at that young we're like 14 he picked our friendship because he was like whoa i don't want the pressure on me of knowing that you gave up a friend for a chance of us being together like and he we were both like talking about like we both had liked each other but he was like i don't i don't want to be the reason why you lose a friend and like i think that needs to be your mindset here is like a karma's a fucking bitch like as much as like she i think like you were able to justify this in your head because you

like him and i don't think it's necessarily based on her actions i think like if you really thought about it if you hadn't had feelings for him and you like then she had a history with him he probably would have already been off limits but because you found him attractive and you kind of had a thing for him you were able to overlook the thing he had with somebody else um and i think it's just yeah like you said like it's not like i'm not one to say like oh my god if he's your true love but like imagine if you were in the situation and it was like one of his guy friends had like you had he had a thing with you he might not pick you like he might not pick you over his friendship he might pick over he might pick a friendship over it and you making that call puts

so much more pressure on the relationship right off the bat of being like already we're on date one and i've lost my roommate and my friend just going on this one date with you and that's so much writing on that that even if he's the greatest guy ever he's not really going to be able to live up to the fact that he needs to be the best boyfriend and replace a friend like yeah that's just a lot putting on him and again karma but also like i'm not i don't know i hate giving the advice of being like when people hear about you doing this like you there's not a huge amount of defense for you but also what's funny is i feel like if the roommate were calling in we would have different advice for her like we wouldn't be like wow you're like your friend sucks i feel like the

advice we would give her would be like you should try to like move on and do and do these things but at the same time right now because you can't dictate how she feels you just have to take her feelings how how she has them right now and take those into account and that's how you are a good friend is by not trying to change people or tell them how they should feel just by accepting how she does feel and see that that causes her pain and not want to cause her that pain anymore and yeah it just you just have to make the choice because like yeah and you're right if this was the roommate calling in I would be like I would tell her exactly how like me saying talking to the roommate saying tell her exactly how you feel and tell her that like if you guys are going to be

together i don't want to be a part of this because it really does hurt me and then walk away from the friendship that's the advice i'd give your friend like that's what i give her chill the fuck out don't call the police yeah don't do that kind of threat i think like i mean and also to me sounds like he must have like ghosted her or done something that made her feel like not ghost because wilson and i are big fans of ghosting um but like made her feel led on by yeah made her feel like have a lot of because like it's like not just sadness she's like a lot of anger and like you someone has to do something to make you angry you don't just shut like wake up angry you can wake up sad you don't wake up like angry there needs to be something that sparks that

at least maybe i don't know maybe one day i'll wake up just like the hulk um i hope god this shit i would do um but i think like you just need to know that going into this there's no way that you get both and you have to pick and also know your if your relationship fucking tanks if you pick him the relationship tanks she might not be there you pick her later on down the road you might have a friendship moment where she does something she didn't you guys stop being friends like that it's just gonna whatever happens is going to happen but you can't control people's reactions when the act when you want to continue to do those actions if you want to prevent those reactions you can't do the actions but then if you're going to do something you just have to

live with the consequences of that and not try and orchestrate how someone's going to feel to something yeah i mean he sounds like he's not great maybe it was a fluke thing that like you guys are destined to be together i don't really yeah i don't know it's like i'm kind of the feeling like if you fuck over one of my friends or you hurt one of my friends like i'm not gonna touch you with a 10-foot pole like you're probably the same thing we don't know if it was like that she actually got fucked over or maybe like your playlist might get you through the work day but Have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life?

How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply.

It just was a situation where they talked for a minute. it and now she has like really deep feelings and he is apologetic but isn't interested and i don't know you guys get married and invite us to your wedding that's chill true yeah i say sit on it too i say wait on it and rotate but i just mean like if you really really wait on it he might get bored and want to leave and then you'll realize like oh he's not like he's not sticking around that much i don't mean like so i just yes i know dick sloppy toppy okay guys it's time for a quick break and we'll be right back okay guys we are back from our break and we are hopping into the rest of the couch

hi megan i'm 21 years old from australia and i've been with my boyfriend for a year now um and everything's all good there's just this one little thing that i struggle with and i never We used to have a problem with this about eight months ago, until about eight months ago, when I noticed he had commented on this raunchy photo of a girl on Instagram, and she was like some porn model, I don't know, on Instagram, and he had commented something really inappropriate on it. I'm going to come on your text. We had a fight about it, and he felt really bad and said it was stupid and that he'd never

do again um but I feel like since this happened there's like this trust that I've struggled with and like an insecurity like I I just can't stand if I ever see him liking other girls photos on Instagram like as in selfies types and girls in their bathers or just you know those type of photos and I've told him that I don't like it and that it makes me feel shitty about myself and that you know why does he need to like it can't you just scroll past it why does he have to actually hit like um and anyways I've asked friends how they feel about it and some are like you know I totally agree with you they don't have to like it they don't even need to follow them so what what why are they even popping up and then some other friends are like that's silly it's

stupid like that means nothing so don't even worry about it but i don't know i just feel like why why do you have to like it you know why do you have to like other girls selfies on instagram is this stupid that i worry about it or is this something boyfriends just shouldn't do i just want okay so i think i think this one sort of is in two parts because well gosh we have like there's so many different perspectives on this one because on the one hand i totally get you i was like talking to a guy for a minute and then we followed each other on instagram and then on the news feed of like what people like it was just him liking asses all day long and i was like i'm just it's not even a question of like not liking your choices i'm just now not interested in you

it's so fucking weird it's just so public it's so public you're just liking porn all day long that you can see everybody's like it's so bizarre and so in that way i'm like yeah i totally am with you i think it's weird and i think like i think porn is totally healthy and i think like that's okay it just ends up being strange when it's so public like that and it's shared with all your friends that like you're liking these people's photos and commenting which seems like you make a comment to be seen that's the only reason you comment on things and so that's a little bizarre and i totally am with you in being bothered by that but on the flip side once you get into like his friends who like take selfies and things like that that is like a more gray area because you

don't know how like if it's just an innocent like oh it's my friend and she's posting a picture of herself smiling like that's a nice thing or is it that he's interested in them like that one is a little bit more difficult and then at the same time i you can have the argument that the like anyone who's sort of a an influencer on instagram or like a porn star or someone is a less attainable person. And so that's almost a safer like than the friends. So it is a difficult thing. I get where you're coming from, but I have been there and I think it's weird. Yeah. I think the thing is, it's like, I've been in this situation where like, I like dated people who I've then like seen that they've like, just like liked a bunch of like porn stuff or whatever. And it just makes

you feel weird. I think the biggest thing is the public factor of it. And like my argument to it, I was like, I mean, okay, if you want to watch porn for sure, if you want to look at these girls profiles sure but like just know that like my friends follow you like this makes me look bad like this makes me look bad like this makes it look like it just made i don't i don't like the idea that like people think like oh my like my friend's boyfriend's looking at this i wonder if they're in an open really i wonder like i just don't want people like you're including me in a narrative when you do something publicly like that um and then i would also say like i think the comment thing exactly the same thing like comments is the intent to be seen and the biggest

thing though is the fact that like this hasn't changed like he's still liking people's things like that if anything like the moment you said and he was apologetic like the moment you did this like this shouldn't have happened again like there shouldn't be in like and I don't know if like he's still like it sounds like he's still liking things that aren't but now is it just that he if he's liking like just girls photos in general but now you're feeling insecure about it so let's say like he's still liking pictures in general of like influencers or like anyone who's like they don't like the term like instagram thought or whatever but i'm trying to be like positive but at the same time oh we know some in real life and they've got great acid like they're fit

gorgeous like i deserve to be 100 this is like you're working for it like i see only squads you do you're doing great things but like if it's if he's still liking those kinds of pictures from people from like those kinds of pictures regardless of who they're from i think that needs to be like that should be the issue because you've already brought it up for yeah yeah and then that's showing like cool how much you care about me i feel this makes me uncomfortable and you're not changing it and then when it comes to like friends photos and things like that you know deep down what's like the things that are bad and the things aren't like you can look at a picture and know like this is me being insecure because it's like just another girl but then there's ones

that you look at and you have that gut feeling that you're like no this is not a picture he should like like I have like guy friends of mine if I post a picture in a bikini won't like it because they have girlfriends and they're like I'll like and comment on any of your other pictures but like probably not gonna like and comment on the picture of you and your ass out because like that's what the picture's about and like I don't fault them I'm not like well I didn't like my picture like that's so mean like I don't think that's weird I understand that like just the same way that like i probably wouldn't like i don't know like like a picture of like i would feel uncomfortable as fuck if like leo posted a picture of him like self like self shirtless like flexing

and like doing something i'd be like oh i'd probably like weird mood like that kind of a thing like i think like that line can be drawn somewhere and i think you know looking at what pictures make you feel a certain way versus don't like if it's a picture of your mutual friends and like they're at a beach but if it's a picture of like four girls and like bikinis in vegas and all the comments are other guys saying that they look hot and it's not like a birthday party it's not something that has like an innocent meaning where it just so happens to have girls in it who are attractive that you find a little intimidating if the entire if the goal of the photo which if it's a thirst trappy photo i oppose that if it's a thirst trap photo and he's liking it and

commenting even if it's a friend i think they're he doesn't like nobody needs like it's one like they don't need his like so fucking bad they haven't asked him like follow for follow like for like like he's not contractually obliged to like all these other feet like women's photos but at the same time if he's got like friends who are girls or like like cousins or anything like that i don't think you should worry about him having any sort of other female interaction but i think you probably know deep down which are the ones that make you uncomfortable and there's probably a reason why they do. Your gut instinct's usually not wrong. On to the next. So I'm 17 and I have a really messy family situation and the only people that I go to for advice is my family

and I really need somebody outside of that that can just look at the facts and tell me what I should do. So about last year, my parents got a divorce and I was super okay with it because from about the age that I was 12, my dad had told me that the only reason why he ever stayed with my mom was because of me and he didn't want me to have divorced parents. But having them together, they were constantly fighting and it was just a lot. And I actually talked to them and I told my dad that if he wanted to get a divorce it was okay with me and I'd rather them do that because it was just a healthier environment for me and so they did do that and um I found out by snooping on my dad's Facebook which I know I probably shouldn't have been doing that

he was sleeping with my brother's wife at the time, and he had been texting, I found out from my sister that he was texting a lot of girls, and my sister is about 30, that he was texting other girls that she went to school with, trying to have sex with them and being really creepy, and so I stopped talking to my dad for a while because it made me really uncomfortable that he cheated on my mom with my brother's wife and recently um this year they got into a big fight my dad and his wife my dad and my brother and his wife got into the fight because my brother found out that my dad was cheating or that his wife was cheating that they sleeping together and uh the police were called and it was a really big ordeal and now i don't

know what to do if i should stop talking to my dad or it's just really uncomfortable and i don't want to have to choose sides please help thank you oh my god it's a cluster it is a cluster i relate to certain parts of the story not all of them i hate to say that like Like you have to choose sides and you don't necessarily have to, but then not choosing a side. You have to get theme of everything. You're not going to, if you are okay,

if you still want to have your dad in your life, I don't fault you at all at all because a yes, this is totally a shitty thing. This doesn't really have anything to do with him parenting you and him being your dad. like this is a shitty move and parents can be shitty people and i think like if he's still a positive person in your personal life and he's like a good person for you to be around and that you really benefit from and you really like to be around then i say don't pick a side but

if you feel really bad about this and you don't like this and you feel obligated to have a relationship with him because he's your dad in spite of this and in spite of the fact that maybe he wasn't a really great dad and you feel like because he's your like paternal fault like he's your father yeah it's some sort of societal thing that you have to keep up a relationship with him if that's the feeling in your brain don't know it because your your own like your parent like whoever raised you is your parents like whoever gave birth to you and like who's ever dna made you maybe those are also the people who raised you and they get to be your parents but sometimes those are just fucking people who had sex had a baby you showed up here and they chose not to

parent you and somebody else did and then your responsibilities and your loyalties lie to the people who've cared for you and loved you and been really good influences and role models in your life and like applause to you for being so mature yeah you have handled this so gracefully and we applaud you here and any parent if you're listening and you want to stay together because you think it helping your kids it's not it doesn't help your kids does not at all like they know they understand you're just fucking them up more like just do it um so that's like really great for you i think that's like a really impressive thing um but i think also again because this isn't necessarily your battle i think the first thing is talking to your brother and like having a conversation

with him about this i think he probably he's like the most entangled in this and feels like the most betrayed i think it'd be really great for your relationship to like really like to show him that you're there for him yeah and also you might not um you you might be seeing a certain side of this situation what sucks is like when you're like technically considered a kid even as an adult when parents are involved, you're only given little tidbits of information. So you might learn some things from your brother that might influence the decision you choose to make or choose not to make. And then also from there, um, giving him the, having you guys create a relationship. So if you choose to still have your dad in your life, you don't necessarily

have to choose between him and your brother. Or if you're going to do that, you're, you know what you're choosing, you know? So like get, talk to all the sides to know, okay, if I choose to not take a side, does that mean that my brother is not going to talk to me and I'm therefore taking my dad's side? Or if I choose to not take a side, are they both okay with that? Or is one, are they making an ultimatum that you have to pick between the two of them? Yeah. And from there you have to focus on who benefits your life the most and who, who is, who is the best person, most positive influence in your life and who you want to keep around and who you want to continue to have a family with and because it sounds like your siblings are really cool and you can have a full

family with just them you don't need to have your dad in your life if you don't want to but also if you do want to and you feel kind of guilty about that because he's done bad things that's also okay because it's your dad yeah no one's gonna blame you for any choice that they that you make or if they do it's probably coming from an emotional place like your brother might be kind of mad about it but as long as you just explain as best you can to him why you're feeling the way you do yeah i think he has to understand as long as as somebody who comes from i'm not going to give too much away guys because my book comes out um and you can read all of my life in there but i really relate heavily to some of this and as somebody who has chosen to not take a side in

a family drama i don't fault any person who's i mean who's i've removed myself from the situation so let me just say like i've out of a family drama situation i've removed myself and cut ties i don't fault anybody who's in my life who's remained in contact with those people who like whether it's their parents or not like i don't fault that because whatever choice that i made was for my own mental health and i know that anybody else is going to choose that and what's going to be the best for them. And there's no fault in that. So I think if your brother also knows if your dad is a really great dad to you, maybe he was a shit dad to your brother besides this, which this is pretty much pretty fucking terrible. But like, I think that needs to be like,

he would know, do you know what I mean? Like he would know if he was a better dad to you than he was to him. And if you wanted to still have him in your life. But I think, I think also in this side it's the same thing I think I always say like the people who got hurt are the people that you should be really reaching out to so whether that's like your mom and your brother I think those are the people that you need to really support and love because the people who did the things that broke up the family they knew what they were doing it wasn't necessarily an accident and everybody else was just caught in the crossfire and they didn't ask to be a part of it so i think the more you can go at it with like really focusing time on like fostering those

relationships then if you do choose to have your dad still in your life you're not choosing your dad over them like they still feel loved and supported chosen him over them yeah i think that's like what you need to focus on and i think taking the break from like seeing your dad was probably good for you and then knowing like yeah and don't let anyone pressure you into like choosing a side whatever it may be yeah and just listen to your own feelings it sounds like you are a very smart self-aware measured person and i think if you just sit with the whole thing i think you're gonna choose the right thing and whatever and that's and we're not saying that there's some secret right thing no there's not you choose what's right for you and that's gonna be the

right thing you seem really really chill yeah because parents can be shit people and you don't have to deal with it just because they're your parents like sometimes like i don't know i'm sure i don't know a lot of like world leaders who are terrible like tyrants who had kids but they had kids like you can be shitty and you don't have to yeah you you don't have to necessarily deal with that stuff, which I would say is a great lesson. I learned talking to your siblings and if your siblings, especially your older ones who are like very much aware, a little more aware and older as the whole situation went down, if they're not talking to him and they feel really uncomfortable, I think you got to sit down with your brother and your sister and be like, tell

me everything. Don't protect me. I'm not the baby anymore. Tell me everything. Because if I decide that I want dad to be in my life, I don't want to be the fucking idiot who did it because I didn't know all these other things if i'm gonna do it i want to know that i know everything and i'm making the right decision because they might be trying to protect you and your mom too because like you don't know and like what they know probably has hurt them a lot and they want to protect you from that but it's not fair you it's not you can't make a choice or choose a side unless you know everything yeah okay guys it is time for listeners advice this is where you people the listeners uh call in and give us your own advice on previous segments and calls and episodes this is from the

episode with ned fulmer um about the um caller who was having an affair with a married man but um he was in an open relationship so this is somebody that's calling with some similar advice or similar experience i'm excited open relationships home wrecking Hi Megan, I was listening to your episode with Ned and I came across the one about the girl who is seeing a married man who's in an open relationship and that hit me hard. I am 25 years old, kind of in the same situation. I'm no longer really in the situation actually. For the past six months it felt like she was.

I was sleeping with a married man who was in an open relationship. We met on a dating app. He is probably one of the sweetest, coolest guys I've ever met. We are now friends, but I started gaining feelings and started getting jealous of the other girls that he slept with because he slept with other girls, and it was hard for me. And I was very open with him, and he was very cool with the fact that I could no longer do that relationship anymore. And like I said, we are still friends. We are still close.

We talk often, not as often, but he was very cool with it. And I think people in that sort of situation are very understanding of people who prefer a monogamous lifestyle because they get that they have just a different way of thinking, more or less than not. So the guy that she is sleeping with probably will be very understanding and know that it's not something for everybody. So I like your advice of just kind of being open with him and telling him exactly how you feel. Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed?

With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. you've got questions we've got ancestors search free until august 31st visit ancestry.ca for details terms apply definitely will end up being the best choice for her and she'll find somebody for sure who is willing to do monogamy with her i want to give her advice stop talking to that guy yeah you should you should move on from that one here and here's the thing i totally don't judge open relationships i think if it's what works for you that's amazing but damn where do you get the time i don't know i don't know has a wife plus you plus other girls like not even necessarily the wife yeah just yeah wow he must make his own hours you know he has to i make my own hours

i know it's not the damn time maybe he won the lottery or something yeah but i yeah he doesn't work me this is his job rich yeah that is his job getting bitches but i really i i like your perspective though and i i your advice makes sense to me that that he would be very understanding if uh one of his uh extramarital partners was not interested in doing that anymore uh because in theory if you're doing an open relationship correctly you should be getting fulfilled pretty much emotionally and physically and you're trying to fulfill all needs and so if one person who doesn't have another supportive partner to work with is saying that they can't keep doing that with someone who is in a position that has multiple like multiple partners fulfilling

multiple needs it would make sense that that person then says oh no worries I totally get it you need more than I can give because I'm currently giving it to other people and I'm satisfied with where i am yeah uh so that sounds like sound advice and you sound like you're mostly over this yeah dude stop talking about them i know you called to give additional advice and like we're giving you advice and you really didn't ask for it yeah but like you need to yeah he can be you can have so many great friends but the second you develop feelings for a friend and like nothing happens from there or like you've hooked up and it like it backtracks keeping that person in your life is just making it's just hindering you and like holding you back

from moving on come on you're 25 and you're cool like you should just be meeting other people and talking to other people and being friends with other people you don't need to be friends with an older married guy because you're also going to compare other people to him if you start dating now and you still are talking to him you're going to compare it to him and then you're basically comparing somebody that you have a previous relationship with to somebody you go on one date with and it's yeah they're never going to win when you're competing with somebody who you are you you want but you can't have it's so attractive and also think about it you only you describe him as being like the sweetest nicest guy you've ever known but you've never

known him in a relationship in a monogamous relationship where you guys live together and someone doesn't do the dishes or there's some like where you have fights over little things because you're only ever getting the fantasy version of him which is like he i always say i don't know i'm making it up now but like he whisks you away once a week and you have a wonderful weekend or something i don't know but like if it's on that kind of a a schedule where like you guys are doing this one thing together it kind of remains in a fantasy world and you see him in a fantasy way of being this nice wonderful guy who then also has a nice wonderful understanding wife but like they probably fight yeah he probably has annoying habits you're seeing

him on the terms that he wants to see you and you're gonna get that version not necessarily as a real person and partner yeah and you need to go out and date other people yeah and i think this is like a great thing for you to now anyone listening like to know about like the fact that like there isn't any and like we've had people who've come on the podcast who like have been in or are in open relationships and about how there's like zero hard feelings to people who try it and it's not like oh you tried it tough shit you already signed up for this you thought you were cool with it yeah how dare you back out yeah and even if even if like this doesn't mean that like you're not cut out for open relationships in general like you might be like this might just

be like a situation where you developed like you you had feelings for him that were like far too developed for you to have this relationship with him but maybe later on in life you're going to be with somebody else and then you're going to have an open relationship with them and you're going to be at a place where you're that like that you're okay with doing that and so i think um listening to yourself but also knowing that like even like if you're going to be friends with someone that you've had sex with and had feelings for and like they ended it you maintaining a friendship and feelings for them when you're single and you're not like with somebody else there's a part of you if you don't want to admit it is kind of holding out hope that either you're going to like get more

chill quote-unquote or he's gonna want to be with you in that way like you're just not closing that door when you really really really should because you're yeah you're preventing other people from coming into your life because you've got one foot still still in that pond but thanks for calling in to give advice to someone else and then we just gave you unsolicited advice how fun is that i feel like that's honestly what it's become now like i'm like call in like now we're gonna now you're gonna give your advice but we're also gonna give you advice it doesn't stop none of it stops the advice never stops a fuck boy never sleeps and neither do we that's our new tagline yeah because we have to yes isn't that great that is terrific well someone didn't read the

instagram caption because i fucking used it it's fine oh guys oh my gosh well merry christmas happy holidays everybody happy holidays happy holidays oh that was mary poppins okay did you get that did you guys see that movie it's out right now oh it is not fun not fun but it's out in the past i've not seen it what weird is christmas we are here obviously right now clearly if you see any photos of me in canada they are photoshopped fake news everybody with my beautiful beautiful nieces and nephews yeah she's not there so don't don't don't ooh and ah megan um guys if you want to check out acelyn i was gonna plug you because i can because i know all of your socials but you can plug

yourself they're also pretty easy they're just my name is at acelyn paul for both twitter and instagram check it out if you want instagram's usually a pretty chill photo place and then dope time twitter is just me you know retweeting really sad horrible news stuff and sometimes I'm just getting really angry. Memes too. We just actually, we just DM each other. The memes are few and far between these days.

I'm really, it's like purely, I hate everybody. Yeah, no, my Twitter, I looked at it recently. I don't know the last thing I've retweeted

that hasn't been like. It was just like a funny joke. Angry and political. that's what most of my stuff is too. I said, do you guys follow Johnny Sun? He's like a cartoonist on Twitter, but he's so lovely

and he runs a wonderful Twitter account that I like following. Here's a plug for Johnny Sun. um but he like wrote a tweet that was just like i think 2018 killed memes oh like haven't seen a good meme in months wow yeah yeah no i guess i guess you're right i haven't sorry all the died merry christmas everybody happy holidays god uh if you want to uh follow melissa and i our socials will also be listed down below follow us on instagram and all dashes um if you want to find out where to listen watch uh and if you just want more info on the podcast go to don't

blame me dot show but if you're watching this on youtube go to itunes go to stitcher listen subscribe rate us if you are listening go watch us on youtube see see the festiveness that you have been hearing about yeah we put in so much work yeah there there are things here we're gesturing to the things which you won't know we're gesturing you don't know what gestures we're making. Kidding. That one was a joke. Flash the tip. I'm not wearing a bra. I could really just like

free the ball. I am wearing one for the first time. You're wearing a bra? Why? Because I had on that white shirt for the last episode. So it'd be color and shape. Yeah. That's always the white makes it so like you can't pick either arm. Yeah. It's like areola and nip. Okay guys well we hope you're having a very happy

holiday. I hope things are going good. I hope the world's great right now. and um if you want to call in for another episode leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can email us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com and we will see you next week next week i was gonna say new in the new year but it's not a week enough no no wait will it be the new year no there's 31 days it's on new year's eve we will see you or hear you and you'll see you'll see us and you'll hear us we won't see you and hear you

that'd be creepy uh on new year's eve okay guys goodbye don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa demont post production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then oh