Don't Blame Me! - S3E7: M&M: Hooking Up With Friend’s Crush

Episode Date: January 14, 2019

You guys wanted episode with just Melisa and I, so here you go! This week we’re sharing our advice on catching your friend at your ex’s house, meeting your boyfriend’s abusive parents, moving away from being friends with benefits, and getting rejected because you’re bi. We also have a caller sharing her own advice about a clingy roommate. Follow Us! @dontblamemepod @meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME'. This episode is also brought to you by The Real Real and Daily Harvest. Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail] … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today we have probably one of like the most like it's like an in-house guest i know melissa i made it to the couch if you're watching she took the seven steps from the chair and the desk to the couch and you guys requested having melissa as not only like co-host producer boss bitch yeah all of the other titles all the other hats she wears she has so much so many hats to so many editor to literally literally i mean i do nothing but sit here and talk which like it's not even that hard um so we decided that you're gonna come and do this as well you guys requested this i don't know why but i know why i love it it's like they're in tune with what i want okay requesting you

and Aislinn and I'm like fuck yeah we should just alternate every week this makes my life so easy and I'm like all the people I hang out with anyway I'm like this is great I like the idea of us doing just episodes yeah it'll be fun we'll see um this is what you guys asked for I have

as I feel like it's been known as like I don't have a lot of feelings and emotions so we'll see how this goes well you're an Aquarius I'm an Aquarius rising so we're just running away from feelings left and right the ghost girls i know someone put in the youtube comments that we're just like rude

or something oh true for ghosting people true i know is true yeah no i'm aware of the fact that we're not doing what's societally nice but it just happens that i would prefer to be ghosted therefore i do on to others as you want done to you just ghost me if it's in the bible so i'm excited because i feel like we always get like good melissa tidbits but now we get like full melissa tidbits yeah tiddy tidbits that's what i call it i was calling mary-kate and ashley oh yeah twins twinsies so i couldn't call them that no i forget which one isn't the one over your heart

supposed to be bigger yeah which side's your heart on well your heart's in the middle but it would be your heart's in the middle yeah your heart's actually in the middle it's because you feel it more on this because of the way that your blood comes in and goes out so the grinch lied yeah i mean everyone lies you think because you know you put your hand over your heart but your heart's actually right here okay i think my my this one's bigger she's getting a period soon so mine are we almost no i just had my period like two weeks ago two weeks ago okay well asian's is this week so you're welcome asian for me i just wait i don't know why i'm not synced up to it like i literally see you

guys more than anybody else i think it's i literally think it's because we both have alpha periods yeah oh i usually pull people to my period yes that's true i do the same thing we're we were just too strong to pull periods yeah holding on let me be the first blood grody oh it's not gross it's natural uh we've got the video version up on youtube right now too so if you want to watch us and see us we will you show your feet i mean not don't show your feet i don't like your shoes I will not show my feet, but I'll show my shoes. Show your shoes. Look, guys, this is an incentive to go watch a video after you listen.

Wow, you're flexible. Thank you. Wow. I didn't know you were flexible. Do you do yoga? I'm super flexible. Yeah. I was a cheerleader back in the day, dude.

Oh, I think I knew that. Okay, that makes sense. I can do things that you don't want to see. Oh, no, I don't want to fucking see. I can touch my toes. Ooh. Yeah. That's pretty much it.

Yeah, and I'm sorry, guys. this is going to be awkward because i have to do all the things that i usually do behind the scenes and you usually don't see it because like i have a table and stuff but we can't have a table on the couch no it's gonna be weird it's in my rider that i need to be able to lounge i have to record all the episodes laying down the stitcher ones that's literally what i've been doing i've just been laying down yeah so what is this show okay guys this is an advice podcast if you're new here welcome it's called don't blame me and this is where you guys leave us voicemails about the things happening in your life and we give you some of our advice on the

subjects and if you want to call us and leave us a voicemail the phone number is 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can email us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com so um yeah guys should we should we hop into giving some advice let's do it i'm ready i'm like in such like a deadpan snarky mode well that's me every day now it feels like my Aquarius rising is just taking over and it's just like stone cold and like it's like the closer I get to you the more powerful it is yeah hey Megan so um to make a long story short I was dating a guy and he cheated on me so I broke up with him and moved on but about a month later my parents bought house and i found out that it was literally five feet away from his so there are a lot of

awkward interactions on a daily basis but i managed to avoid full conversations and i don't think about him that much i was doing a pretty decent job at this until today when a friend of mine who i suspected of liking him for a while was walking into his house as i was walking home from school to hook up with him and she tried to run inside so I didn't see her but I was feeling extra petty so I smiled at her waved and yelled out her name and said hi so I was just wondering if you have any advice on handling this shitty friend because I don't have any feelings left for this guy but I still think that her sneaking around while I'm right next door is the ultimate sign of like not giving a shit about me and I've helped her in the past with serious sexual assault

issues and trusted her with so many secrets about this guy that I've never told anyone he was my first like relationship with anyone and I don't even know if it's worth confronting her because she clearly knows what she's done so I was just wondering how you think I should handle this thanks dude fuck this girl this girl's a bitch she's such a bitch she's not your friend exactly like you don't have to deal with this at all get rid of her and i i like that you smiled and waved at her because that was smart same i would have done the exact same thing to be like you can't deny this like no wasn't me wasn't me no bitch it was you it was fucking you bitch um i think like you sound pretty and i say this in like a positive way like you sound pretty checked out

from the relationship with her and i think like you don't like you clean like you're right in the sense that like she knows so much about him because you've talked so much about him to her that um she knows what she's getting herself into so you don't have to like warn her you don't owe her as a friend to be like hey remember like fyi this relationship is really terrible so i think like you don't have to talk to her like you can fucking ghost her never speak to her again yeah um but if you feel like you want to tell her you don't want to be her friend anymore but i just think the best thing at least in my opinion was just would be to get as much separation as possible which obviously is hard but i think like i don't know what you'd get out of telling her

that you're not going to be friends or anymore i think she probably already knows that too yeah are you guys still hanging out and talking like yeah if you're not doing any of those things if she's not bringing any value to your life then just get rid of her yeah and she backstabbed you and it's not cool maybe if she would have come to you first and like said hey i have feelings for your ex how do you feel about us dating maybe you guys could have had a conversation then but now it's like she's sneaking behind your back like she knows that she's doing something wrong yeah and like you it was not a good relationship with for for you and this guy like and the idea that like i don't even like some of my friends boyfriends or like girlfriends who like are

great i'm like you're not my favorite but like if you like you fuck someone else over who you care about and who you love like that you should not be attracted to that person so to me it doesn't even seem like even when you thought she was probably a good friend she wasn't and the fact that you were like i always kind of suspected that she had a crush on him so just sound like two terrible people have found each other and just like let them go be terrible together in the house that happens to be like five minutes that really sucks get like blackout curtains maybe yeah and next time you would see her like wave and then do this wave both ways and smile exactly yeah perfect i love that well best of luck i'm so sorry yeah that and him too and they can

just each other right they're gross gross people all right on to the next hi megan and um and mel and guest uh i'm 18 years old i'm from canada um okay so so me and my boyfriend have been together for a little bit less than eight months almost eight months and he's met my mom and he just went to go visit family and told me that they have expressed interest in in meeting me um that's that's fine but um like if he wants me to of course i will but like i know because he he's told me that um his his father was very physically abusive and his mother kind of just let it happen and so if and when i do meet them i just i don't know how

to how i would like act because like i'm really bad at pretending that i like people and i'm bad at acting normal around people who i know have done bad things and i just i i think i what i need help with is just like knowing like what to do if when i do meet them because like knowing that they've had such a bad effect on this person who i love um so yeah i don't know oh man wow um i guess i guess i mean i think like my automatic response is i have more questions like i'm curious i your boyfriend she's finding out that they want to meet her through him so he's obviously still in contact with them and it sounds like he's in contact with both his mom and his dad uh i think like this is like kind of like wimpy out advice but i think

like you have to like ask him like what's right if his if like the relationship that he has with like his family isn't like it's not something really important to him and like there still is a lot of tension then like maybe it's like oh yeah you can like you don't have to be super friendly or like you don't have to meet them at all i'm just like letting you know and maybe he's feeling like because he's met your mom that he wants to have that like inclusion but um you know as somebody who we can read about in my book coming out soon who's got like an odd family kind of thing like it's it's yeah you can kind of even if you didn't have like the greatest like parents you can feel like wanting to yeah you kind of want that even if you don't have that relationship

with them you really want it to be like that um but uh i think you just have to ask him yeah it's like did has he made peace with it has he forgiven them have they gone to family therapy they might be at a point where um they still remember what happened and it hurt but they're they've forgiven what happened so where is he with the relationship yeah yeah because i think that's the best way to go at it is whatever he needs from you it's your job as a partner to like be a partner and support him so if that's like hey this is something that like has affected me and like maybe he's in therapy and he's like still working through these issues but he's chosen like you said to like forgive them and to like move forward with a different kind of relationship then it's your

responsibility just to be like cool so tell me what to do i'll take the cues from you and like however i can support you in this i totally will but like sure maybe he wants to go there and he wants to be like no i want you to cuss out my parents like cool great we'll do that too right so yeah totally reading the situation and getting cues from him and um if his parents have apologized and he's forgiven them then you just gotta move past it and even if it does like hurt you which it totally will i think especially when it comes to like really personal issues that you have with those with like people like very really really close in your life um it's easier for outsiders to kind of not forgive as well as like people who are in it the um actual situation or really

understand yeah and like see the growth and like the time and the changes and all of that stuff it's a little less black and white which isn't necessarily always a good thing but I think you just have to listen to him and then also I do think there's a chance that he literally just said that because he had met your mom and wanted you to feel like oh my parents want to meet you yeah just to make you feel like I count this as seriously as you do but it just so happens that my relation with my parents isn't as serious as yours is but I want to show you that like I'm serious too yeah yeah so just support him and be his partner in whatever way that he needs it's not about it's not really about you no you can't go in there and like flip tables when he's like no

we're just having soup like settle down though i would love that though have you seen this video of this this has nothing to do with this call but it's a table flipping where this that it's like this party of people where um they're like everything got out of control and people start flipping tables and this woman like catches the table as it's flying and then like throws it back but like it's still a little bit heavy yeah and like reflexes yeah like the momentum how do you catch that and then like she hope holy fuck i want to see that that'd be like what was it the real housewives one yeah teresa did it yeah yeah i've seen that i've seen the clip i don't know I actually think I was watching the show when it happened.

I can't imagine being a real Housewives fan when that happened. Yeah. It's amazing. It's iconic. Okay. Should I go on to the next? On to the next. Hi, Megan.

My name's Lauren, and I'm 21. I have this friend who's a guy, and he's like my best friend. But I've kind of developed some more romantic feelings for him, and I don't know if he likes me, and I kind of don't think he does because he tells me about all of his girl issues so I don't know um but he's not really a feelings person and I don't want to scare him away by telling him but there's also this awkward thing that we've like hooked up like had sex three times while we've been drunk so I just don't know if that's us being super comfortable with each other and

just hooking up because we do love each other in like a friendship way because we are each other's best friends or if there is something else going on and i just don't know if i should tell him and risk kind of the friendship that we have or if i should just leave it and see if anything develops i'm just worried that he's gonna find a girl who he does like and start dating her and then i'm gonna kind of lose my opportunity i don't know help me oh my god this is me in high school also i really appreciate you for using your turn signal i can do that too yeah thank you for all of you call when you're driving not my favorite thing because it does stress me out that you're not paying attention to driving yeah but when i hear a turn signal in the background i do feel better

i know because you literally had to like type in the number because you don't have it saved or maybe they do or maybe they do maybe you've called him so for the back of the uber when you're drunk yeah um this reminds me of me and my high school boyfriend a lot because um we granted i was not uh i didn't realize i had liked him i like i had no idea but we also had like hooked up drunk a bunch of times and he would talk to me about his girl problems i would talk to him about my guy problems like i didn't know that i had feelings for him until he decided that he was going to ask this girl to prom and he was like and i was helping him do it but i was like god why do i like i don't feel like i would like love doing that stuff usually and i was just like

kind of having a hard time and then one of my friends drunk dialed him it was like Megan's in love with you and I was like I'm not she's like you are and I was like oh my god I am um I think like sex and friendship together like unless you're like friends with benefits I only find works when you're not really good friends so the idea that you have a really close emotional relationship and you're you've slept together that to me is like you're more than friends yeah yeah like there's feelings there there's obvious feelings you guys have a relationship already you said that you love each other as friends yeah but you don't go around just boinking your friends and you've done it three times and maybe you've only done it while you're drunk because he has

a crush on you too and he doesn't know how to go about talking to you and sharing his feelings um and he did say she did say that he's bad at feelings right yeah yeah and i think that's also probably why he's talking about these girls is he's trying to gauge your reaction because he doesn't know i think both of you are in like exact limbo of the same place of like do how does this work how does this work and my to be totally honest because you're over 21 you guys have had sex drunk three times yeah i said the next time that you guys are out drinking before you're like super super super drunk instead of just like making out and having sex just be like so what's the fucking deal with us yeah because i think like i i mean sure you could totally do it sober

but that would scare the fucking shit out of me and i think it's scared the shit out of you and him too yeah um so yeah i think that's a good plan yeah just get a little tipsy have the talk because do you guys like each other it's obvious that you like each other and he probably doesn't even really like these other girls no do you talk about guys to him yeah like what's the situation yeah this is exactly what and then i remember the morning i woke up after my ex or my yeah my the boyfriend that i had dated where this situation kind of happened i got so we got i got too drunk before the conversation so i didn't remember what he had responded with so don't get that drunk and then i woke up the morning i had lost my phone this is one of the worst nights you

can read my book um and it made the book yeah oh it made the book i got a concussion it made the fucking book gosh yeah it was really stupid um but i remember like i was petrified because i couldn't remember like what he had said and he like messaged me on facebook and was like so you lost your phone last night and then i was like yeah and he's like do you remember what we talked about last night and i was like i remember what i was planning on talking about and then i was like what was the answer and he's like how about i pick you up we can talk about it and i was like okay and i was like is it good or bad and he's like good so that was like it kind of like it eased that like stress for me because he was like my best friend too so i think like some liquid

courage never hurt anyone just don't get as drunk as i don't get a concussion yeah don't get drunk i have questions about the concussion but i'll just read about it i'll just read about it in the book i pre-ordered it thank you uh but yeah have a conversation with him and um i i would say don't be as afraid of and okay let's say on the off chance he doesn't have these feelings for you don't be afraid of ruining your friendship because you guys have already slept together which would have ruined your friendship if that was going to so like you guys are obviously strong enough that like if it was just like oh i'm just drunk and like i don't like i think you're pretty but like i'm not into you like that that would have ruined your friendship already so know that

your friendship is going to be safe yeah and his penis has been inside it has like you guys see each other naked yeah how do you have friends that you've like you know are you friends with people you've had sex with a couple people that i have had sex with but like and then just like stopped yeah oh so you know no yeah do that but that's because i can separate my like i don't have feelings that's true no it's not even like that it's just like either i had feelings and we had sex or like i i had feelings at one point now i have no feelings i don't want to see you and i hate you got all about you yeah or we just had sex because i think you're hot and i don't want to hang out with you gotcha see yeah since see with my exes i'm either like really good friends

with them or i don't talk to me more so that's i wish i could be that i mean i don't really wish i could be that girl's friend of the rexes because i date a lot of shitty people oh so i don't want to have be friends with those people one of my best friends is twin brother we did when we were in sixth grade i always referred to him as the one that got away and he's like you have sex with him okay i was like no i think we slow dance we never even kissed you grind no actually sydney did have her bot missed on seventh grade so i got down in dirties with some pussycat dolls with my transition lenses and my halter top um jessica mcclintock dress throwback it was cobalt blue it was cute so fucking ugly cute i love it uh well this is a really cute call so can you please call us back

and let us know what happens let us know i i have good feelings i do i have a good feeling too knock on one i just kicked it with your toe with my toe with my mismatched christmas socks oh those are wow that that was dirty was that here before no i think you did that when you kicked oh god it's really dirty down there yeah it's okay all right should we take a break all right let's take a break let's take a break brb guys see you soon okay guys we are back from our break how was it for you was it good um i mean it was all right it was fine i didn't move yeah no me neither because i'm so tangled up with all this equipment here that's true you really can't yeah as i just sit here and literally lounge you should give me another job i can't do anything can i i mean you

could edit if you wanted to no i'm not no i take that back take it back should we hop into the next all right let's get into the next call um i'm 18 and i'm from england if you can tell um so I'm bisexual and currently I'm on tinder and I'm I go out clubbing quite a lot and I you know make out with people and stuff like that but I never I never go home with anyone or anything like I'm a virgin I've never done anything really sexual um and it's taken me a couple of years to kind of get into the whole dating thing um and recently what's made it even harder for me is that anytime I come out as bi to somebody that I'm talking to they go all weird and they either stop talking to me or they'll tell me something that I don't want to hear like

oh well you shouldn't have told me that now you know you've put me off talking to you because now I know that I've got more competition because you're into girls and guys and kind of stuff like that and it's made me want to not tell people that I'm bi anymore but I feel like that's something that you shouldn't really hide when you're dating people um so I don't know if it's something that I'm doing wrong like am I telling these people that I'm by at the wrong times like is there a certain timing that like when you should tell somebody something like that or am I just talking to dickheads basically any advice would be appreciated thank you you're just talking to dickheads i also kind of want to place a bet on how many do you think of these are guys that are

saying yeah yeah it's a good 99 of these are guys probably i'd probably go 95 95 yeah yeah i think the problem is when you're talking to dickheads and two a lot of people are insecure and that's not your problem that's their problem they probably think that you won't ever be like completely satisfied with just them because you like both guys and girls but you could say that about people that are straight too yeah that's always been my argument where it's like okay well i don't i don't like every guy that i see like it's hard enough to find one that i don't hate like the idea that it's like oh you're just like into everybody it's like is anyone into everybody like no some of the people i know who are the pickiest of my friends are by like yeah what

like that idea is just stupid did she say how old she was she is 18 okay so i would definitely say okay my i would usually say date older because like that's usually when people tend to get a little bit more mature but you are young yeah um so i would just say like she's young and a virgin yeah i don't i think like you don't need to hold like it's amazing that you want to tell people and you felt comfortable to tell like multiple people at whatever time that you did i don't think that you need to then re-evaluate like how you do it for other people's comfort right because like it's not about them like you said so i think like you've been dealt a really shitty hand of like a lot of terrible responses but that doesn't like represent like the masses of people that you

will date in your lifetime at all so i think like maybe if that means like dating apps just really aren't your jam right now maybe that's like hey maybe you should go meet some beats like not like let's find someone and meet them in real life that's like a hard thing to do yeah but maybe um like start taking classes and not focusing so much on uh finding dates through dating apps if like the pool's shitty yeah or you could put in your profile that you're by and that could weed out a lot of people too because then they already know that's true i used to put that i was um i said taller than me mila kunis shorter than shack in mine and then people would always be like so you're tall i think yeah and so they would kind of do that same thing yeah obviously like

not really as important um but yeah i think that's a good a good idea because you're gonna yeah you'll be able to weed out there's also just like on his hair i feel like tinder's the worst one yeah that's what other ones if you're checking out our um yeah bonus episodes then you hear that megan has told me that tinder is the worst one it's the worst i would say the only people i know who've had success on tinder are uh uh gays like gay people like i don't because grinders typically use and for male um grinders typically use hookup wise and for straight people or like heterosexual straight people um tend to use like tinder as a hookup versus like that's what a lot of my friends have met boyfriends on tinder because grinder is what tinder is to straight

people sometimes again this is just a generalization based on my friends and stuff so maybe if there is a different kind of app that there is um and or maybe if you're like uh volunteering in your community and like doing stuff like that and like working with like lgbtq plus like organizations and stuff and like doing that you're gonna end up meeting much like even if it's just like a friend who then you meet their friends and they're also really like great intolerant stuff i think you're just casting you're in too big of a pool where there's so many fucking shitty people yeah narrow it down so you're more likely to find people and you'll get less discouraged yeah good luck girl you sound great you do imagine being 18 on a dating app i can't i can't imagine that at all

because like when i was 18 they're like smartphones weren't even a thing like they didn't come they didn't come along to like the next year you have i had um when i was 18 no i didn't have a sidekick i had it was like this no i had a camera it was a camera phone that's what i had i remember because i was like it wasn't a razor it was actually i was like 18 before the razor came no way yeah oh well actually that makes sense because i think i was i was in high yeah no that would make sense like i was 16 when the razor came out so um i had a it was like a flip phone yeah i don't remember who made it but it was a flip phone that had a camera and i was like the first person in my high school that had a camera phone oh yeah you have some good blackmail on people

it was so you couldn't even like put it anywhere there's nowhere to put it yeah so it just died with the phone yeah oh i do that's one of my guys i knew in high school he like had a phone like one of our old like an older flip phone not an iphone that he had just like all these fucking pictures of like embarrassing ones like everybody and then at the end of our senior year we all were at a party and we were like we're gonna push him in the pool with the phone so that phone fucking dies did you do it it did oh my gosh it wasn't his like it was a backup phone that he had had that he would bring to parties and shit and he was like so mad and we're like no that you had blackmail for like years for like the entire grade that's terrible yeah it was

really scary scary scary time there were like sprint had these like i guess there were chat rooms that were on your phone that were like they're weird and I was like so naive and young and I would go in them and just like I remember this one guy asked me oh no oh god I'm ready no no oh no to put clothespins on my nipples and I wasn't even like I was just like talking to people I wasn't trying to like date or hook up or do anything weird i was just like oh social media let me go in this picture and he's wanting you to like narrate how it was narrate it it was like eject oh my god not even like nipple clamps no and like he can't even see it so you would just be

like it would just be typing yeah it would be t90 t90 my titties oh my god i'm gonna cry it's so funny dude chat rooms throw back that shit oh me little chat roulette i saw so many fucking dick like unsolicited dicks there oh my gosh god oh my god wow that really got me good yeah okay so i'm glad you have a lot better off than i did yeah Yeah, she definitely does. There's no denying that. You'll be fine. You've got lots of years of fuck boys. That won't be the last end. Fuck boys.

Fuck girls, too. I was definitely a fuck girl. So, you've got a lot more years of them, so. But they'll be good ones sprinkled in between. That's the thing. People don't get better, but they just get less of them all the time. Great. Shall we go on to the next? Hey, Megan. So, here's

the deal. I'm a gay guy going into my junior year of high school. I've been out since 8th grade and I've dated a couple guys but never super seriously this year one of my best girlfriends who I'm going to call Callie

has gotten really close with a guy who I'm going to call Alexander she has a huge big crush on him and is constantly flirting with him but from what I've seen he doesn't really seem into her like that recently she told me that Alexander

had come out to her as bisexual and wants to try being with another guy. Now, this was music to my ears, and I immediately made her give him my Snapchat so we could talk. Callie was really reluctant to do it at first, but she eventually gave in and told him about me, gave him my Instagram so he could see if he was interested. However, Callie gave me the ultimatum that Alexander and I,

that if Alexander and I hooked up, it could only be a one-time thing, he's her soulmate or whatever. so anyway Alex slid into my DMs the next day and we started snapping and getting pretty flirty and about a week later we ended up going on a date and then going back to his place to hook up

we've gone out three times since then but I've had to keep it a secret from Callie because I don't want her to be mad at me I really like Alexander and I think he feels the same way about me and I want our relationship to be public because we're a really cute couple but Callie is so territorial

of him. And I feel like I can't tell her without losing her friendship. Part of me thinks that because Alex is bisexual and I'm gay, we wouldn't work long-term as a couple. So he's not really worth losing one of my best friends over. But on the other hand, I don't want to break up with him just because Callie is hopelessly in love with him. Day in high school has been really hard for me and I'm so happy right now that I don't want to have to backtrack. So what should I do? wow wow wow this is sticky also high school seems so much more dramatic with the addition of snapchat yeah i actually snapchat wouldn't cause me any problems because i was a good girl totally same i didn't get crazy till college that would mess me up in college

oh yeah for sure um okay i've got a like i can really see all of the sides in this yeah i think like i think everybody's kind of at fault here i would say her automatic thing at fault is like if this was something that she really really liked this guy the thing of saying if you guys hook up it can only be one time no she fucked up with that yeah she can't say that if she really liked him then she wouldn't want you to be with him period and i think also being a soulmate which if he's not into her like i've always been of the mindset of like if my like if someone and this only has really happened when i was younger and there was only like four boys who were above like five five and we were like oh wow everybody was obsessed with them yeah and like if we all

liked the same like it's like one of my friends and i liked the same guy it wasn't i was kind of that bitch it was just like well i mean like let's see who he likes like like it doesn't really if he doesn't like me then i'm not gonna like prevent somebody else from being with them because like obviously we're not gonna be a thing like it just doesn't make a lot of sense so but i also wonder if she's one of your really great friends and it just doesn't sound as much as you saying like oh she thinks like she's like it's a soulmate or whatever any of my really good friends that they really really liked a guy oh I actually one time I made out with a guy that my friend had liked but it was I I never thought that that relationship was serious because they never dated he wasn't

into her and she like it was kind of just like a pining thing but like she ended up she was dating somebody else and so I think like you calling her territorial I think this is speaking more to like her character and the fact that like she like picks people and then like like she pins them and those are hers and the fact that she would say like oh but if you hook up with him it has to be it can only be one time if she really really liked him she wouldn't be okay yeah and maybe this guy has been into you for a long time and told her that you were that he was bisexual because he liked you yeah oh yeah and like that he and he also maybe he he has like said to you i'm also curious which i would not tell her but like if he's not into her and you

know that and he's told you like yeah no i really like you like she's not like my type like she's just not someone i'm into you don't have to tell her that but if you told her like hey i'm really sorry that i betrayed you in doing that um i we ended up going on a couple other dates like it's not just physical like i really like him he's a really great guy i'm really sorry i don't want to hurt you but i also really like i want to pursue this and be happy um i think through that she'll she'll be able to realize cool so he doesn't like me like this guy you don't have to say that but if he wants to be with her friend and not her and he's had the opportunity to have been with a friend like he's not picking her so she should just be able to move on but i think

also like you can be in a long-term relationship like you being gay and him being bi i wouldn't be like concerned about that at all very much like we just said on our last call like it doesn't mean that like the entire world is a threat to your relationship um but i think also like you're 18 so you need to do what's going to make you happy and preserving a friendship and like pursuing a relationship like you're going to be faced with this so much in your life of being like the the every choice that you have has consequences and you just have to think about in like a year from now which one is not going to yeah you have to take the opportunity for which which one you think is going to be most worthwhile yeah but i would say definitely like you both have things that

you could have done differently so i would say like come at it from a place of like i'm sorry because if you choose to be with this guy you're the one who walks away from it with at least a relationship and she might be walking away from it with my crush doesn't like me and i've lost one of my good friends yeah so come at it with a lot of like empathy and like being sorry because it's yeah you you you always are going to gain something from the situation yeah i say this is different from the first call we had um as in that she knew that you guys were in communication with each other yeah so um i just want to because i feel like people are going to be like well you told the first call true caller to that's not your friend but this is different because he already

she already knew that he liked that that he liked the other guy and told him that they could hook up one time yeah and though she was hesitant about it which you said and like you really had to talk her into it also not to like shit on you but like are you guys really that good of friends like it sounds like i don't know it doesn't it doesn't to me it doesn't sound like either she doesn't really like him as much and this is just kind of how she always is or you guys aren't that close and you felt comfortable being like oh okay like if you like him like please still give him mine up like yeah please still do this which not shitting on you for either of those things um i think you can get in like really intense

friendships for short periods of time and maybe it's one of those things but um yeah she definitely you guys yeah this is just like so dramatic yeah it's very dramatic you guys it just needs to be a lot of open communication yeah because the longer you put it off to um he the guy you're dating might just be like i don't want to tear apart a friendship i don't want to be anything like that which happened to me once where my girl and I liked the same guy and then he liked me and him and I were going to be a thing and then he found out that the other girl was really upset and he's like yeah I don't want to fucking do it I was like oh cool so she hates me and I'm single yeah so yeah yeah but I also want to see them being a cute couple I know especially since you said that

you haven't really had that much luck yeah dating other guys yet but yeah you're a junior in high school so i had no luck then i mean i got lucky but i didn't have a lot my luck was quasi i wouldn't no yeah oh yeah i didn't i didn't truly blossom into myself until i was in college and that's when i went book wow fuck yeah i want to see college pics oh uh please i'll show you some of mine okay you'll be surprised at how giant my tits are you'll be surprised at how buff i was shut the fuck up i love that for you wait i love that like six did you cheer in college no i didn't cheer but i was like worked out all the time my like super worked out yeah i did the opposite i drank a lot and i ate a lot and my tits were huge because i weighed at least 30 pounds more than i

do okay i'm trying to imagine you with big titties i'm not kidding you i was like i was beyond d i was like almost a devil really oh my god have you never seen any pictures no it's remarkable i was on birth control and i went on and off birth control so much and my um doctor had told me she's like the more you go on and off it like my boobs would shrink and then they would get bigger and then shrink and then every time i went off it they would get like smaller and smaller and smaller and then when i went on i was like oh they don't even have that big anymore it's like um like guys if they do too much yes steroids that's what happened their balls yeah and now my boobs like fucking true yeah they're not trouble they're really cute still um but no i had giant boobs but

i also drank i drank so i was a heavyweight i drank i was too but like i would get up and then go work out the next morning um i would vomit and not go to class i would wake up in a pile of my vomit then vomit then forget my keys eat some tater tots and not go to class i vomited at night that was my trick oh yeah yeah that was a good one then you don't sleep through it my roommate um used to just like stick her hand in my throat and be like just throw up so i don't have to keep makes me i would usually do it at a bar that i snuck into like i would be so drunk because i would be drinking underage i'd be so drunk that i would just like go vomit in the bathroom and like come out and be like ready to kick it off again we used to call it puke and rally like

oh my god do as we say not as we do guys don't puke and rally it's not a good thing and don't drink underage yeah don't drink underage at all no don't do it don't use your friends that you look nothing like id well yeah i did the exact same thing riverside had i think five white girls and maybe three of them were blonde so we all used the same id none we looked nothing like but everybody's like sure yeah you're blonde the person's id that i used was like five inches taller than me just to wear like giant heels every time you know it still wouldn't be enough yeah like no there's no my real legs i'm ryan seacrest i'm very tall these are not lips don't worry oh that's so funny should we go on to the next all right we're on to

whatever it's called uh listener advice listener advice yeah this is where you guys call in and you give your own advice on some of these situations and calls which is great because i've been seeing so many comments people going like can you have me on the podcast and i'll be like oh let me look at them and i'm like you're just like a high schooler i'm like you just want to give people advice so this is where you guys get a chance to shine and also give your unsolicited or solicited advice this time so which one is this from yeah i had to look at it for a second so this is from the most recent episode with jared sleeper great where um the this girl was um at college and her roommate was super clingy oh yeah and so this is somebody that has similar

experience okay I'm ready hi so I'm currently listening to the podcast with Jarrett um and I just got done with the segment about the girl and her new roommate who is trying to be friends with like her friends from high school and how she suffered with anxiety and stuff like that and I just want to like give some more advice from personal experience um I just graduated from college and I had a terrible freshman year due to anxiety and depression. And what I learned in my four years is that really your roommates are just people you live with. They don't have to be your friends. They don't have to be your best friends because you're able to do so much at school that occupies your time, whether it's clubs or making different friends in classes or

studying in the library and not sitting at home. Like I felt that I didn't, the roommates that I ended up having after freshman year, they were just people that I lived with and they weren't my best friends, but I was able to talk to them at the end of the day. So I really just think she needs to be straight up and tell her future roommate that this can't happen, that she is uncomfortable and she doesn't like it. And I definitely think that she's going to be able to make different friends because also after four years i'm looking back and i am not really friends with people from high school anymore um they i grew as a person because of college and um if her roommate wants to be friends with her high school friends i think that's great

and that's fine but i think also like looking back i really am not friends with those people anymore either or I keep in contact with them but I made better friends in college as I grew so I think what she just needs to do is be upfront just look at her as a person that she is living with and occupy her time doing other things and not so focused on her roommate and being friends with best friends their roommate because that can always just end badly if you're just friends with your roommate because you become too reliant on them if they become like a significant other because you're just like this is my roommate this is my best friend this is i just want to spend all my time with her um so yeah that is just my advice on that or my input on that situation

great i love it she's right she's 100 right when i was in college i had i was when i first went to college my roommate was my friend from high school and things just got really weird between us and i don't know it wasn't that she was specifically doing anything that was weird or i was doing anything weird it just was like we were seeing too much of each other yeah and you see people in another light when you live with them so um yeah she my roommate like got a job um when the semester ended and she had to move out so it was like then i had my own room and things got a lot better for me yeah and then same like a couple years later i roomed with one of my sorority sisters we had an apartment and we were best friends like yeah best best best friends like

i'd spent all my time with her um and i would stay at her when we lived separately i would stay at her place all the time and she would stay at my place all the time but then when we moved in together it was like we never had that separation yeah and it ruined our friendship as well i don't think living with friends is a good idea in general like I think like I've had terrible roommate situations and then like the best roommate situation I had was like when I got randomly assigned a roommate freshman year and like she was great but like we got to hang out because we wanted to and like also when you have a roommate like you have to nag them like you have to like you guys have to like coexist in a way that's you don't have to have like walk in and

have a responsibility to be like peppy and to talk to somebody like you want to be able to like do your own thing and just coexisting i think is finding people to coexist with is like the absolute hardest but i think she's right just like have it be yeah someone you live with because when it's your friend when it's someone that's not your friend you always feel like you have to be on like a better behavior than you would actually and then when you're with your friend you're way too comfortable with them yeah um yeah the best the best roommate i had was like my roommate that i had for the last four years yeah um and it was because we weren't friends at all yeah and we were just occupying the same place and uh it was great yeah there's so much less like tension and drama

and pressure and like there isn't like friend circles who get involved and like gossip things like yeah yeah this can be your like safe place at home and now i live by myself and it's even better i lived by myself for so long i lived by myself from like a 19 yeah 19 to like 21 or 22 yeah 22 i didn't i think like after my junior year of college until i moved here i hadn't had a roommate and it was just weird going back because rent's so expensive here it was weird going back to having a roommate yeah because you've just like not yeah like navigating that whole thing yeah i'm not good with roommates yeah at all me i mean yeah that's why with this last one it was just a business arrangement yeah she tried to be friends and i was just like no stop

it you signed a contract stay on your house well she owned like the whole thing like i lived in a condo and she owned it because she was like yeah 45 but she owned it and i was just renting yeah one of the rooms yeah roommates it can be a sticky sticky tough situation and she got pregnant and i had to leave selfish bitch i'll give you the full story oh my god fuck yeah yeah drama goss love it um well guys that is it for this episode i hope you enjoyed yeah if you enjoy it we'll do more i'll try to be better me too no you're always great no i'll try i'm always striving to be better or less terrible um so if you guys liked this episode um make sure you subscribe to us on itunes podcast app and we've got the youtube video go like that share that tell your friends

be like hey listen to this great podcast um we are also on stitcher premium guys yeah we got a little gold dash on our icon oh my god it's becoming a blue check mark but yeah it's real good i know um so we also have premium episodes there where you can get bonus content so it's just more episodes we get to go into your sneeze i think so wow i don't think you guys will be we heard a lot yeah um we get to deep dive into your dating profiles which i've been redoing we need to do a photo shoot we do i should prop my camera today i've actually got a little a new camera so i'll bring it soon and then we'll do a photo shoot okay we should do an iphone one yeah my phone's got that 4k baby oh and that is also where we are doing callbacks from listeners so

we can deep dive into it more so yeah and also if you subscribe there i know some people have been complaining that we have a lot of ads well first of all we haven't i just want to be real we haven't really made any money off this podcast like at all none so um now we we've moved to stitcher and we've got ads because so we can pay for the podcast we've got a there's a lot of stuff that goes on behind the scenes that you guys don't see so that's why we have all the ads but if you sign up for stitcher premium you can get it ad free yeah so if you are bothered by the ads go there if you're not bothered support our sponsors because they're awesome they give us awesome stuff and you guys like the podcast and the podcast cannot be done for free yeah at all

yeah it's giving you a whole hour of entertainment yeah think about how much you pay for like other hours of entertainment that are not good yeah think about how many ads are in the bachelor oh true oh my god so fucking many that show could be like 15 minutes 15 minutes yeah um well guys um that's that's it follow us on instagram don't blah meme pod we do sometimes we do live things there so if you're not following us there you're missing out you are missing out and i've also like planned some content to go on there it's very cute it is real cute and then you can follow our socials and then anywhere else you want to find out where to listen to the podcast go to don't blame me dot show and yeah and we'll see you guys next time goodbye

don't blame me is a production by me produced directed and edited by melissa dimon post production sound by chris henry production assistant julie carley and music by giacomo picasso and ryan hunter i'll see you guys next week and don't blame me if your life you know completely fucks up before then oh