Don't Blame Me! - S4E12: Guest: Daniel Preda - Found Weird Video on Boyfriend's Phone

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

Producer Daniel Preda is here this week! We’re sharing our advice on handling if the guy you’re dating won’t make a move, what to do if you hate your engagement ring, if you should pursue a relationship your work crush (even though he has a girlfriend), and how to keep it spicy if you’re saving it for marriage. In Don’t Blame Them a listener shares her advice on being too drunk around your partner.  Check out our NEW Patreon Community - https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @misterpreda https://www.instagram.com/misterpreda @dontblamemepod www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,’ PLUS exclusive bonus episodes. This episode is also brought to you by Skillshare, Betterhelp, and Care Of. Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today my very stylish well-dressed guest is daniel prada hello hi thanks for being here how are you so good you're one of my favorite people to follow on twitter by the way oh my god you're so funny you're effortlessly funny you know i don't try so but like it's but everything you do is funny and also half of the things that i find myself being like oh i have to retweet this are things you've also retweeted yeah like well it's it's interesting because i i i feel like i'm more myself on twitter and i start off in radio actually so radio and where i'm not seeing because i feel like i'm always trying to put on like oh i need to look perfect oh my god am i

like presentable on camera and it's really hard to kind of be yourself on camera it takes a long time like i'm sure you know oh yeah and also i just started youtube a year like not even six months ago and i'm awkward as hell yeah like if i go back to your first videos those are buried those are privated yeah oh yeah so i'm in that stage now yeah well no but you're i mean your twitter has always killed it i've always literally found you so funny and then i love when people are the same that you meet them and they're like yeah fully the same it's nice i think that's rare on youtube i think oh yeah and then there's other people that i think like it's it's funny because you can also tell like with like kingsley like kingsley his he's got his like crazy big personality

and he's like a little more shy in person but the more you get to know him the more that comes out yeah and so then i'm like we're becoming friends because like i'm seeing like i'm seeing you be extra and like it just makes my life so happy yeah um well guys this is don't play me it's an advice podcast if you are new here welcome if you want to call and leave a voicemail for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and our international listeners you can send us an audio message and then email it to meganpodcasts at gmail.com shall we get started give some advice let's do it i'm 24 and i was calling about a relationship question i had i met this guy around christmas time and we text every day we talk all the time

um we've hung out a little bit and he we really really like each other that sort of thing um but he is making lots of like he's 25 he's making lots of like oh you should meet my family I can't wait to visit you in New York I'm in a transitional time with my job like or I'm saying that I'm saying like I'm in a traditional uh part of my job like I'm moving to New York soon and i just don't understand why he will say all these things like i'm gonna visit you like i can't wait like i really really like you blah blah but every time we hang out nothing physical happens he will hug me not that he will not kiss me we've hung out so many times we've been drunk together and it's very very confusing he might be gay yeah yeah they've

been dating since december yeah um that is haunting are you dating like have we where'd you meet because she says they've hung out they text all the time they've hung out a few times yeah maybe he's in prison yeah maybe he's not around are you like what this is i have a lot of questions i think first of all 2019 2020 needs to be the year of identifying and defining the relationship it just just be on the same page we can take a book with a leaf from the bachelor book um and i am starting to potentially maybe fall for you like any of those things i think you need to figure out like are you actually dating um like seriously because like the things he's saying implies that but at the same time if you have like that can also just be a fuck boy thing right and

if you haven't seen each other that's a little weird but maybe he's nervous yeah and maybe he wants her to make the first move i know like in 2019 it's happening it is you know there's nothing better than a a dominant woman we love that which empowering uh yes dominatrix um but i don't know i feel like it's not going anywhere if it hasn't yet yeah he sounds like a pen pal yeah and if she's moving she shouldn't be talking to him anymore no and if you're like moving to where you know he's you're not moving to where he is because he said he'd come visit right i don't know to me if you hadn't met him I would have automatically said like you're being catfished but if you you've met him a couple times I think truly this is like a friend sort of thing and I

think he could be nervous and I think it just depends on like how how much you want to deal with that like me personally I'm not into like a shy boy who's like oh I can't make the first like that's just not because for me I'm like I that I don't I don't have time for that like that's not like what I'm attracted to but if you're okay with that and then you're okay with like making the first move but if it makes you just feel like not desired and all of that i think you just a need you need to fully talk to him about it but i think there's a chance that this is just your friend slash pen pal yeah yeah you have bigger fish to fry in new york sweetie there's a lot of men there and it's very difficult to date in new york so buckle up and it can be fun

to have like a texting thing like when you just text someone and you i love having someone hey do i look good in this dress totally and like a little bit of a confidence boost but like i wouldn't i wouldn't if you guys have identified this and said that this is like an exclusive committed thing and you're not you're clearly not getting what you want out of it sexually then i'd say be done because like this isn't a fulfilling whatever the fuck this is it's not fulfilling and she said she's 24 so i'm guessing he's 24 to 26 she said that right yeah he's she She was. Yeah.

Yeah. So, no. No. No. No, no, no. He's 25. Oh, okay. Yeah.

He's acting like he's 15. Yeah. But not even because like his dick isn't hard. Right. It's soft. It's soft. It's soft and unavailable. And it's been like more than six months.

Yeah. How? How? Next. Next. Next. I would have said next like two months ago. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Say next. Speaking of next, on to the next. i have a weird problem so um me and my fiance have been together for a while we're engaged and fiance um love him cannot wait to get married however i hate my engagement ring and i know this makes me sound like a materialistic piece of shit and maybe i am that's fine but i am totally willing to buy the one that i want like he already did his job this is what he bought i don't want

him to buy another one i want to buy another one um i don't know how to go about telling him that i didn't think it would be that big of a deal since he's a guy however i kind of tiptoed around the conversation and it very much hurt his feelings and he was raised not having a lot and i totally understand that and he told me his mindset was you get what you get and you're happy with it and it wanting more makes you materialistic and I'm just a very straight up person and I said maybe that does make you materialistic but at the end of the day I'm wearing this on my body every day and I I kind of want what I want but I dropped that conversation and we haven't had it since um me being the shitty person that I am I um custom made one online and paid for it and it

should be arriving in about four weeks um how do I tell him that like do I just let it arrive and you know where it it work only I mean obviously I'm kidding I'm not gonna do that but I don't know how to have that how to have that conversation and every time I try I pussy out because we're having such a good time together that I don't want to ruin it and I know it will um I'm also very aware that you know we're spending the rest of our lives together so these kinds of conversations are going to have to come up. And if he was the kind of person who would get mad and yell at me, I could take that.

But I hate disappointing people and hurting people's feelings, especially when it's someone that I love so much. So I know I have to do the conversation. I guess I would just like some advice on how to do the conversation and how to, um, you know, properly say the right things and not hurt any egos.

Um, okay. Thank you. And you can feel free to tell me that I'm shitty and materialistic. yeah thanks no i'm with you i'm 100 the only reason why this would not happen to me is because probably every six not less than six months like every two months i will like quiz moths in the middle of like a conversation like what kind of engagement do i want and then like i've like instilled it in him and i've told him which friends he's allowed to break

shopping with him and which friends he's not because my best friend sydney is too nice and she'll be like yeah that's pretty and it'll be like fucking hideous but yeah well i mean i'm nervous for this because when i know when it comes time for me to propose the ring that i get has to be something that isn't available on the market just because i know what my boyfriend wants he'll want some sort of weird mind in the hills of japan like made by a little craftsman in kyoto yes a hobgoblin from hell there's just something like wild yeah and meanwhile me i'm just like give me a canary diamond yeah exactly you got it um i would have taken the diamond and put it in a new setting and then maybe surrounded it with a few new stones you're like this is still your stone

but i just wanted it to make it you know i'm gonna wear this for the rest of my life wow that is so fucking smart mine were so much like shittier answers i would say say you lost it and be like i'm so sorry i lost it i already ordered a new one and then my but the thing i would do first how different are the rings and how much is your fucking family attention is he gonna know the difference i think he would and also you can't just say you lost it because a lot of times the rings have insurance and you can just get another one but then it could be like oh my god i didn't know that i already bought a new one i mean honestly she is a little dumb she should have had pictures plastered all over the wall she should have known exactly what she wanted but

maybe she didn't he just chose i mean it's not a family heirloom that's like the thing the part that I was worried about if it was that um I think I mean I think like I do this all the time like Mott's literally got me a bracelet for my birthday which was Sunday and I was like oh this is so cute and he was like you don't like it I'm like I mean no it's like cute I just like I literally am so I get back I was like do you do you like wish I wore like wore bracelets more and he was like well no you just like don't have any I was like oh yeah I mean you got me one once and like it got caught in my hair and it broke and he was like oh yeah and I was like yeah and he's like maybe it should have been earrings like oh wow maybe and i'm in my mind i'm like i want to like i want to

be earrings like and i'll do that but like i'm also okay with doing that in like person with some like with like saying that because i think at the end of the day like as much as you don't want to disappoint him i think like he wants to see you look at your ring and be so fucking happy and if you're looking at it now and you're like and if it's making you like feel weird and like you just like don't really like it and not that i'm saying it's not making you excited about the engagement because like i don't think you're material material or material material materialistic i had a seizure last week everybody it's hard to speak um i don't think it does but i think like i understand i can totally understand how it could be if it's not what you wanted it can kind of put

a damper on something that you're already so excited about but you're like like every time you look down at your ring you think you're like you're thinking about being engaged but you every time you look down at your ring you're like i don't really like this fucking ring right so i think like i don't know i think he'd rather if it were if i would if it was me i'd think he'd probably rather be sad for like two minutes then i think he'd be more disappointed if he knew that you were a ring that you hated for like the rest of your life she brought it up though and he basically seemed like it you get what you get which i don't like i don't like that either and i also think he should have known what she wanted before like he should have asked her

asked because we're not here for surprise real surprising yeah this is not a cracker jack no no no no no yeah i mean i i truly think like have him wear it yeah get it resized put it in his ring there you go i love that get this you love this so much here i was thinking that's so smart do it get him a dog tag with just diamonds it's so weird society puts so much pressure on the ring yeah and the guys like just wear a tiny little band that's literally the same one and they don't even wear it when they're engaged they just wear it once they're married right which is not an engagement ring oh moths will get a goddamn engagement ring and i was like you'll get an engagement ring and you'll get a tattoo underneath that engagement ring so if you fucking take it off

it says property of megan you fuck back off it's gonna be really small font but yeah i i think you just i i get how this makes you feel like an asshole but i think like he should want you to be happy and obviously like i don't know he should feel more than anything i think he should feel he should feel dumb of being like how did i not know what you want like you mean like i don't think it i agree i don't think it's like oh you get what you get and you'll be happy about it because like that's not necessarily fair um but yeah i would i would tell him i would yeah i mean i honestly i would say that you lost it but if you want to tell him then tell him or also how different do they look yeah whatever gets it on your finger you're gonna have it on

yeah for a long time yeah or also i've heard a lot of women when they get pregnant their fingers get really big so maybe you just like get pregnant and then you can't wear it oh my gosh way to get rid of it yeah the baby swallowed my ring true you're right you're coming up with all of the like there's there's there's reasons why like wedding rings are expensive because like there's insurance they resize yeah i just think the only thing i would say is like i think you need to why i because she already bought the new one so it's not like they can have a conversation that easy okay well she did it guys so what does she need to put the brakes on that and she needs to return it or put it on her right hand you know what she needs to do she needs to just have the

conversation with him and be like you know we should go look at rings together together and only look at the ones that she already ordered or something very similar and then she figure something out no that's a little con that's that's like oh look that's exactly showed up exactly it yeah okay you're right i think that's what you do you look at rings and you pick one that looks and you make it really make it seem like his idea too and you just get way more excited when you try that one on that's what i do in fittings where i get really excited when it's that like the costume i want to wear and so then like producers will see it like she's smiling in this one she looks good yeah and i'm like i did this on purpose i frowned on all the other ones because i looked

bad and i hated them so yeah you do that and then he'll think it's also his idea and then be like okay well like let's think on it and then say maybe say like oh i found one i found one on sale i ordered it like i'm so excited it was the last one there it is no and pick out five that are literally identical at the jeweler so when he brings them out he can't tell the difference yes oh so smart yeah okay let us know how it goes i'm excited send pictures send us the old ring yeah i want to see the pictures of the old ring and i want to see the pictures the ring that you that you got or that you're getting yourself okay well best of luck on your um wedding and your happy marriage hopefully you get there on to the next one uh i'm 22 years old and i work at a

sports bar so um background i grew up in a very religious and strict household and when i started working at the bar i was 21 and the people that i work with are very accepting and have really like formed who I am I started there when I was very self-conscious and very like afraid and shy and the people have really helped me like blossom into who I am today I'm a lot less self-conscious I'm a lot more outgoing and open and there's one guy in particular who is a cook and he has a girlfriend of like three plus years but every time that we both drink we kind of flirt with each other and we hang out until like 2 a.m and we'll talk the entire time we'll flirt non-stop and like in the back of my mind I know he has a girlfriend and I know it won't go anywhere

and I know that he's probably just like being super nice but I can't get past the feeling that like I know he's flirting with me and like one night I got super drunk and I was throwing up and he was there holding my hair and like my tears and the next day he's like I'm sorry I made fool myself but then like the next time we got drunk he was there like the same time like holding my hand and I feel like I'm catching feelings for him even though I really know I shouldn't be because he has a girlfriend of like a long time and I feel like I'm just barely becoming like blossoming into the person I'm supposed to be and he's kind of influencing me and he's helping you like become better but at the same time i don't want to be like a homemaker and ruin his

relationship so i don't know if i should try to like go for it and just kind of like hang out with him and flirt with him until him and his girlfriend break up which kind of seems inevitable because he's so flirty with me or if i should just move on and find someone else and see if i can like about what she's doing special on that bitch you're being a homewrecker run yeah and get a new job before this woman comes and beats your ass because if it was me i'd beat your fucking ass i just think like if you don't want to be a homewrecker don't be a homewrecker and you're already doing it like there are steps and levels of cheating like you're like yeah you've been like should i just wait like i'm waiting around it's inevitable they're gonna break up it's not every

fucking guy not every fucking guy i don't want to say that but like so many guys like every time like oh yeah like no my like my wife and i were definitely getting divorced like she never sucks my dick anymore and you're like what a bitch like i'll suck your dick like no like you're being it like you're coming up with these excuses and this just like justifying it and like yeah you're putting him in also a shitty position and i think like it is also his responsibility not to cheat on his girlfriend but like you also have a responsibility and like oh to yourself like don't you think that you're worth a guy who like is single like if this was your one true love and he was a good guy him and his girlfriend would have broken up because he would have been like oh

you know what it turns out i've met somebody else i don't have a strong feelings for my girlfriend and i'm not gonna do that to her yeah no no no no and first of all shout out to the food service industry um i worked for many years in that and i know how awful it is yeah also cooks are awful oh i was gonna say i'm sure he did that to many other girls before you sweetie and yeah i would honestly leave i wouldn't yeah and you're working at a sports bar and like i get that but like stop throwing up and like having him hold your hair like that's not like oh wow he's such a sweet guy like i've fucking done that for girls i've hated like i've literally held the hair of like sorority sisters being like i could drop you in the bushes right now but i'm not going

to like that's not like it to me it sounds like you haven't had a ton of like good guys in your life so this is a guy who's like just being a normal dude yeah and like you're also his co-worker so like he is obligated to like be nice to you and like keep like take care of you while you're being drunk and sick a that's not a cute look for you in general i'm just like don't advise doing that regardless of where you work even if it's your workplace culture it's just not a good habit to get into at your like job in general yeah um and that also like that yeah to me like the fact that that's such a nice thing that like makes it sound like you haven't gone out with a lot of nice guys yeah i'm also like would he think that's like sexy like no like yeah this is the girl that i

like and i'm gonna cheat on my girlfriend with this girl that's throwing up all the time yeah i yeah he also in my mind he's like older than her and like it's just yeah i think he's probably enjoying the fact that he's getting this like extra attention um and i think extra attention is fine i think you should just like you know tell your partner if you like want extra attention either from them or be like hey can i download a dating app and just swipe right and see who likes me which i've definitely done here for sure go ahead i mean everybody loves getting attention especially like when you're working so much like you know and it can pass the like the day by and like make it way more fun yeah but there's also a line you know if you if you literally want to be

with that other person you're kind of already being a homewrecker yeah and you also want someone to want to be with you like the idea again like i everyone has these stories about like oh well no like someone who got cheated on like or he i was like the other woman and like we ended up happily married and all of that stuff the thing is is like if if a good guy realizes he's in the wrong relationship because he meets someone else he's gonna end that relationship before he starts anything because it puts you in a bad position and it puts him in a bad position but the fact that he's flirting with you and still has this girlfriend means that you're not special he's gonna do that to you if you end up getting in a relationship with him now like it's a coward move

um and i think like more likely than not and you guys haven't hooked up or anything more likely than not like i think not more likely not like regardless this the situation either you're gonna be a full-blown homewrecker and he's gonna cheat on his girlfriend with you and that's on both of your fucking conscience or you're gonna get in a position where you like make your move and shoot your shot and he like shuts you down and like he has been just being nice and like is enjoying the attention but like would never like cheat on his like actually like in his mind whatever like cheat cheat on his girlfriend with you right i just say back the fuck out of the situation if he was your guy it would have already they would have already ended you guys would be together and also you're

22 hun like go out and date have fun don't mess with people in the workplace when you're 22 don't shit where you eat yeah it's also different if you're like in a career for 20 years and you fall in love with another lawyer or whatever like you're so young i'm sure you're beautiful smart talented all the things like you are very deserving of love and it should be better than this situation yeah 100 100 100 okay guys we'll take a quick break and we'll be back with more calls we're back from uh our break and let's hop into the rest of the calls i'm 19 years old about to be 20 uh so last night my friends and i we went out and it was all good it's all fun had a great time my boyfriend and I were just like hey man you know it's a good time um he got

a little too drunk which is chill and I'm not like that's not a big deal and he was you know doing his own thing and at night I was stupid and chose to kind of go through his phone and kind of see like what was happening which like yeah I know it's stupid because then like I'm just gonna like end up getting upset or finding something but like it doesn't necessarily like need to be found so I found these videos of him using a vibrator in his asshole which like I don't care like I'm all for trying new things I'm all about that like keeping it fun and fresh but what I'm concerned about is that one he saved the videos it's like a little weird to me I don't really know why he would save those videos but also too like those videos didn't go to me so

like did they go to someone else like he's kind of had not an issue with that but it's all but it's always been like a back thought in my mind like I've always wondered like has he snapped out of girls other things because I know he always was like oh I snapped out like I sent you this and I was like no you definitely didn't like I know what you sent me like I know if I would have gotten that and I just don't know when I should bring it up if I should bring it up like if I do how I how I should bring it up I was kind of thinking like being like hey like let's try something new like kind of bringing it up that way like making it my idea and seeing if he comes forward with it but if you give me advice on like that and like obviously i know it's my fault for

going through his phone because you know your girl is just insecure and has no self-confidence at all about relationships but yeah oh she seems sweet she does and we have a psa on this podcast if you don't want to find something don't fucking look because you will find something you always find something always and you don't look unless you know something's up and so the fact that you said that you kind of had an like issue with this and this is in the back of your mind means that like this is definitely like at the forefront of your mind that is not what i thought she was gonna find it is shocking i'm sweating over here also does he have a vibrator or is it hers that's sick wait like or is it a sonicare toothbrush speaking of drop mine stopped

blessing real pissed i'm real fucking pissed you got the warning it's old but i should check wait vibrator or toothbrush oh okay yeah my vibrator broke a long time ago mine too me too we've been talking about this we didn't get new ones um is yeah is it his because okay because that's where my question comes like because that's your question well that's my first question because we got him on the line yeah please can we page him what's his name it's me bradley bradley come through um because like i think oh i hate to say this i don't i think you're i think he's he's clearly sending this shit to other people and the fact that like he like like got you mixed up and was like no i sent you that and it's like no no i'm gonna send that to another girl like

i think i don't know if it's another girl no yeah you sent it to somebody raiders just tingling yeah tingle your butthole is also tingling yes i think like yeah he's sending it to other people i don't necessarily think i think there's and like you're you seem so understanding and like i'm down to try new things and everything like that and i think like people who are incredibly um uh understanding and like not like i don't want to say complacent but like uh when like people who are chill tend to be people who also get taken advantage of because like so much of it. And you're not, you might not necessarily see the warning signs that it's like, oh no, I can be cool with that. I can be cool with that. When in reality, like just because

you're cool with it, you should be cool with it. When someone like brings up something to you or broaches the subject, but when people do things behind your back, I'm a kind of person where I'm like, I can be cool with stuff if you come forward and tell me first, but like, if you lie, I'm not cool with lying. But if you just keep being like, no, I'm okay with this. I'm okay with this. You just didn't tell me, but I'm okay with this. I think you're going to end up with a guy who's like oh i sent nudes to like all these people like i thought you'd be chill and you're like oh sure like i can like be okay because yeah i just think like i what if he just does it for himself though no ma'am i first of all listen i was a very late bloomer and i wouldn't i never did

booty hole stuff just for myself like that is a painful operation and you do it for somebody that you love okay or if he's just like vibrating and not sticking it i get it but i would never record that i don't want to see i don't want to i just want to feel i understand the part that like oh i've like said before i'm like in a past life i could totally be a porn star if i wasn't so much like a germaphobe and like you know like all that kind of stuff and also just like i don't know but like i love attention like yeah i would love the idea that like tons of people would get off to me like that's great i was once a cum tribute and it was honestly the most fat flattering thing oh my god can we change topics natasha she's come up so many times um basically literally so basically

someone had created an account for me uh or of me not for me thanks so much for doing a legwork or pussy work um someone had made this account using pictures of me and would have this twitter account and it basically like a come tribute is like they post pictures and like with like some like dirty slutty kind of like caption and then people will claim them by having like printout pictures printed out of the picture or on their ipad or on their laptop and then they come on it and then that that original picture gets taken down because they've claimed it and then the picture with like them like that's they've come on so like the ones on the ipad like if they like came and it was like sometimes it would like morph my face and like look all weird and funny

but it was the most flattering thing in the entire world so it's like art it was yeah honestly art and i never felt like i just felt like i was like wow i'm like so pretty like i was on a high wow i've never had that but i was you might though no you know what i do have every day there's like a screenshot that i get sent on twitter of somebody impersonating me on grinder or tinder oh that's flattering yeah i bet you're getting messages because they literally say that i'm 18 or 19 i'm like goals yes i am i am thank you so much i've never had a sip of alcohol yeah i am a baby yeah because like so i get so i want to say i get the attention like i get that aspect of it but i think like that they're like i don't know like i say that in my head of being like oh it's like

i get the attention stuff but like if you're in a relationship like there are certain things that like you don't do like he's not putting this behind a paywall like this isn't like a snapchat in which he's like accepting snapchat but i but i think like that to me i'm fine with that like i mean i'm not and maybe i wouldn't necessarily be fine with that in my like current relationship but like if this like in their relationship like if someone's like more of an exhibitionist and like he like if he's doing sex work and all of that and like it's a conversation with her but like right now to me it doesn't sound it doesn't sound like an empowering like sex positive thing it just sounds like he's like potentially fucking around and it's not being faithful to you and

yeah i i think also i don't want to like put this in your head because you said you were insecure i think well no i i just think like this is not a good this doesn't bode well for how he cares about you because he's making you look like an idiot because if he's sending this to mutual friends of people who know like then other people know and essentially like in quote like you're in the dark but you do know and i don't think that this is something that you have to be chill with and i think like i i there are certain things that like you can deal with in relationships and like everyone's deal breakers are totally different and that's okay but i think if this makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable a relationship shouldn't make you feel like that like as someone

who's incredibly insecure like that needs to be something that comes from me that can't come from my partner because like that's not a healthy relationship at all um so i mean you have to talk to him yeah definitely and also i feel like sexuality in a relationship like i would come to my partner if i was into anything or wanted to try something new i don't think i would try it alone and record it and not have them in the know so i think that's quite shady yeah um so regardless if he's sending it to girls guys or whatever yeah anyone really i think that's really disrespectful to her and she deserves much more especially at 19 like yeah have fun it shouldn't be this serious or dramatic yeah i think you just need to straight up tell him and also don't

apologize for going through this i mean you can sometimes i start that way i'm like so i went through your phone sorry in advance but what i found is way worse than me going through your phone um but i think you i think you just need to like straight up tell him and be like i need to know all of it like i need to know the truth like i need to know what's up like also paired with the fact that you said like that you've sent me things before and i've never gotten them like now it's pretty clear to me that you've sent them to other people and if if this is something that you really want to get to the bottom of which me so fucking curious i would to the bottom of it he yeah he might be bottom i would literally be like show me your fucking snapchat show me your instagram dm

like let me see this like let me like like you you need to come forth with all of that and i'm not saying once he comes forth of that then you can forgive him but i think maybe for you you're gonna need a lot of evidence to realize that he's a fucking dick because you still seem like you're kind of i don't know you're putting yourself in like the well i looked through his phone so like it is my fault thing and like how do i broach the subject versus how do i break up with him if this is yeah because maybe there is like a totally like rogue answer and he's you know he's sending it to my doctor oh my god literally it's a follow-up to my prostate exam um i'm just imagining like is he like squatted over on the bed yeah does he have the phone listen i did that a few weeks ago

and it is it is painful like a like do you put it all the like how deep are we talking also who's vibrator or is it just something that vibrates is it his no oh no i got the one that was too big too thick oh inhumanly think and we were looking at myself we were looking at some real inhuman ones did you know that there is a fisting oh what is it yes but it's so it's sanos's arm from avengers with the ring with the rings but there's but it's like huge no no it is it is not a normal it's like a disney challenge okay yeah and it's actually like a silicone uh-huh wow i know there's there's a whole genre of marvel marvel fans which is me i looked at the spider-man one but i was like but we were thinking like the spider-man like actual spider-man if he had his little twit

oh like just think of it he just like hits you yeah right in the click i like that yeah me too good luck honey yeah yeah deep let us know what happens also yeah you this is the kind of stuff that like i'm here to like i'm not here to yuck anyone's yums but there's also like a certain thing like you're 19 and i think maybe you need to hear some people tell you that like this is a thing that two people have never gone through in a relationship so it's not like you have to deal with this yeah it's a lot and find out i want to know who's vibrator yeah and how big is it that's what i want to know yeah because it takes a certain man to be able to take a certain length yeah also if he's deleted stuff on snapchat see who his close friends are i don't even use snapchat me

neither but the kids do yep the kids for nudies yeah 19 year olds for for vibrating their buttholes hold on to your books hold on to your clenching yeah i've been clenching this whole fucking call really i'm open prolapse is a thing i guess oh gosh well best of luck you just need like a nice boy yeah a nice boy who like does not have social media which also might be a red flag at this point yeah he's a killer for sure okay on to the next hi megan i'm 22 years old um i'm actually currently saving myself for marriage um so this doesn't really rule anything out but to me my boyfriend and i

we do other things to pleasure him obviously and me um we've done blowjobs handjobs um i know mutual stimulation my biggest question is i do think he's enjoying everything we're doing right now um and he's accepting of my choice but are there any ways to spice it up a little bit more um and he's also very shy about low jobs he used to not even let me go down on him um in the past within the past year he's been a little bit more open but it won't be more than around 10 to 15 seconds he'll just try to bring me right back up so he's not he says it feels good but I don't know if it's just making him uncomfortable he used to say that he thought it was kind of gross I think he's a little bit more open to it but how do I make him feel more

comfortable about it and how can i make it a little bit better for him i want to know if it is a religious choice or they're both religious because i didn't really understand is he on track with it or it's her decision yeah uh because i grew up christian yeah i grew up in a very i went to christian school until i was in eighth grade very very strict like didn't know what mtv was oh my god you buried that like i wasn't allowed to eat lucky charms or anything that's like secular oh wow lucky charm because luck yeah because it's i never went trick-or-treating until i was a freshman in high school oh wow were you tall too no oh my god well thank god imagine you're very tall like hello i'm 15 it was like that yeah but yeah you just but um yeah i'm

curious if it's religious because it's just odd to me yeah i mean i that was my that's my initial question because the only reaction the only reason i'm seeing in my mind is like religious guilt for that like is that's the reason why and i think like sounds really bad but like um he's not like you can see his face more or you can like sense him more but like if he's like fingering you or you're giving him a handjob and you're making out you can't tell if he feels uncomfortable like if he's feeling like guilty and if he's going down on you you also can't like you know see his face and tell if he's like feeling really guilty but i think like if if it's that but if i would i'd say if if it feels like it's only with blowjobs and everything else like he's totally fine with

i think you're probably a really great girl you might just be not good and it might be that and i think that's okay everybody can get better and like he might not want to tell you that like ah this is does not like feel great um or he might be gay because i don't care if somebody's bad at a blowjob i'm still gonna let them go down on me for more than 15 seconds but what if there's teeth just say no teeth sweetie yeah but maybe he's maybe he's afraid oh i know what is she gonna bite his dick off you know maybe i feel like she she's good i feel like she knows what she wants to do because she's going down on him so she i mean it's not like she's nervous about it and she wants to do more things to him yeah i think he's the problem yeah no that and it does

it does make sense though because i think like there's it's just like the communication thing you have to figure out because like if you guys aren't gonna have sex before marriage that's totally fine anyone can like do whatever you want i think it's great that you're also doing other stuff beforehand um but like you have to talk about this kind of stuff like i i personally don't know any guys who don't enjoy blowjobs unless they're not good like then like it's the same thing i've known with girls who like don't like when guys go down on them it's one of my friends um she like hated it in high school and she was like no i hate it we're all like what what do you mean you hate it she's like no it's like the worst thing ever like it's

not like it does not work for me and then like once she like we got into college she goes no no i love it like this guy was just really not good but like i'm sure there are some people who genuinely like don't enjoy that like those kinds of things but i would say like i don't know it's confusing to me how that's like the one thing out of all of the other things that you guys are doing that's the one maybe he has a small penis and he's insecure it could be that are you more insecure with like the size of a penis in a mouth or a hand though oh i would say hand hand i've got big ass hands yeah you know he could just be nervous i mean i remember when i was a freshman in college like the first boy shout out to cory uh i know you're doing well in chicago

um love him uh the first two weeks we were in our dorm together like when we're sleeping and cuddling i'm like you can't take off my boxers because i was nervous af like i had never been with a guy before and uh once they came off like they just stayed off yeah so it could be that but also i don't know how old they are like what if she's like oh we're 15 they're 22 oh okay does he watch porn i feel like no no probably not well they need to watch porn together yeah maybe that's is if that's something that you guys are cool with i think that'd be a great idea because at the same time like in my mind i'm thinking like well the advice i'd give you to like make a blowjob hotter is like just be like a dirty slut like just like get real like

thotty with it but if if if the issue for him is like he's feeling like this is a sin and he's feeling like that that i don't necessarily think will work but i think you have to get down to the root cause of why and ask him and then also like you're being so upfront and honest with us and saying like you you clearly just want to get down to the bottom of it and it's not like a pride i'm embarrassed oh god i don't want him to tell me if i'm bad kind of thing and maybe if you really preface it with him and he can feel comfortable telling you like maybe it's the fact that like oh you know what i thought that i was cool with us doing stuff before we got like married um uh and it turns out like i'm not and i'm feeling a lot of guilt about it and i'm not really

able to enjoy myself or he's like you know what it's not necessarily what i like that much or maybe he doesn't know what he likes and he's like hey could we watch porn together and like figure this out um but yeah maybe amp up the like sensuality maybe you don't have to be sexual all the time go on some romantic dates like spend time together because that usually is like the the lube to a relationship you know keeping it romantic and is he coming in general i'd like to know that like yeah if he's not finishing at all that's another story yeah that's another podcast yeah so call us back and let us know if if he's coming at all like if there's why you're saving yourself if he's also saving himself for the same reason and then um yeah if he's coming at all and

are you coming too yeah because you are number one yeah you're not married yeah so no and are you guys masturbate like you're mutually masturbate oh if you're mutually masturbating oh yeah he's probably coming maybe he's depleted and he's like oh i'm not because some guys i know like yeah once they've done the deed for the day they're not gonna really get into it mentally or like physically yeah oh yeah maybe if it's coming later yeah he's already come earlier yeah yeah who's he coming to yeah let's figure this out let's do a deep dive yeah let us know tell us about your boyfriend's come yes uh well best of luck and yeah um let me know if you just need blowjob tip slide into my dms yeah so now it's time for don't blame them and this is when a

listener will call in and give their own advice on a previous call on a different episode so basically they've been through something like maybe they vibrate their butthole they'll let us know okay so this is from season 3 episode 24 it was a episode with me and megan and so the original caller her she got really drunk and was in college and like jumped on a table and some random guy grabbed her butt and her boyfriend got mad about it and so this is someone calling sharing her own experience hi megan and melissa i wanted to leave advice um for one of the callers in season three episode 24 of megan and melissa on dating a felon that's not the one my advice but my advice is on the story of the girl who's who stood on a table and got blackout drunk

and it was like a year into her relationship with her boyfriend and I actually experienced one of the like a similar thing where on prom night um I got ridiculously drunk and um my boyfriend and also drank, but not as much as me. And he was extremely hurt that I got more drunk than he did. And we were supposed to sleep together that night and all these things. And he basically thought that I was choosing him or choosing alcohol over him.

When in reality, that's not at all what happened. But basically, my advice to the caller is, like, sit down with your boyfriend and just ask a bunch of questions. That's what I did. I asked all of the questions I could think of, and we got down to the fact that he was jealous that I was having more fun than he was. It wasn't that I chose alcohol over him. It was that he wasn't, you know, experiencing the same thing as I was. And we got down to that and we, it was like a week later that we got down to this fact after talking through it all and basically, okay, my time's running out, but just have

asked as many questions as you can, um, to get down to it because I don't think you should break up. I don't think that's necessary. like it was one night and honestly that seems dumb to break up after one night so um i hope everything goes well sweet wow god i would not pay money to go back to high school drama i didn't have any i kind of want to go back to high school to have drama no you don't it is crying at school is the worst it's the absolute worst i had so much emilia so i attracted drama i had so much drama in high school like by the time senior year rolled around i remember like

my prom drama like it's not fun like it's so and you just like cry for days and you're like i'm never gonna get over him i did cry prom night because yeah i suddenly got popular my senior year right i was invited to a cool prom party and they all sucked we all got arrested shut the fuck up yes and they like sent out letters to our colleges that we were going to and tried to get us like in trouble and i'm like i didn't even drink any alcohol i was just at this party and the cops came oh my god and like it was awful did you go to private high school no i went to private um middle school and then i went to public high school and that's when like i experienced the real world for the first time and it was like really rough on me i was like i never swore in

my life like i never like ate certain foods i like didn't wear certain clothes and then i don't know i just like it was hard for me to make friends and then yeah popular kids they're not they're the worst well they're all home doing oh i same thing there's like one girl who's so popular all she was like it was the unfair kind of popular where she's popular like our popular kids at my school got popular in sixth grade and so like if you aren't popular in sixth grade like you were fucked and i was like bitch i had transition lenses like of course i'm not like i was called pumpkin tits oh my god i was called ham oh my gosh kids are so mean but like literally this girl who's like the epitome of the most popular has white girl dreads

and she does tattoos in the back of her van she found herself did she or did she lose herself from doing too many too much acid it's a toss-up um if you guys enjoyed this episode uh make sure to watch the video version and then if you're watching the video version you can go find us on the apple podcast app everywhere where you listen to podcasts rate us give us five stars check out the website don't blame me dot show instagram don't blah meme pod and if you want to be on an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and we will see you next week bye

don't blame me as a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso part of the her pod network real canadian superstore has everything you need this back to school season save on lunchbox savers like ziggy's sliced deli meat products for always 375 and get life brand pure vita shampoo or conditioner for eight dollars each at real canadian superstore when you're ready we're ready with a whole world and more