Don't Blame Me! - S4E18: Guest: KayleyMelissa - Unstable Ex-Roommate

Episode Date: September 30, 2019

KayleyMelissa is here this week to share her advice! We’re answering your questions on how to network if you’re an introvert, struggling with being an outsider in your friend group, ignoring your unstable ex-roommate, and feeling worthless in a relationship. In Don’t Blame Them a caller shares advice on not disclosing going to the gyno with your parents. Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @kayleymelissa www.instagram.com/kayleymelissa @dontblamemepod www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,’ PLUS exclusive bonus episodes. This episode is also brought to you by Dipsea, Dave, and Astro Poets Podcast Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today we have one of like my og youtube homies yeah hey i'm so happy that you're here i'm happy that i'm here visiting in town hell yeah yes i'm really like i'm glad to be back in la yeah we've been like homies since like megan rosette and let's make it up one dude shoot forever yeah and it's funny because i feel like i made youtube friends for a solid like maybe 18 months and then i made no new ones so no new friends no new friends like all of the youtube friends that i have are from like that era and then i was like yeah i'm sad like i'm good like i don't need anymore and i'll have like friend crushes like tana mojo but like oh my god i can see that oh i literally went to beauty

con one year just to meet her like i was like i'm gonna go to her meetup and i love that i love that you're as much of a fangirl as i am like i lost it over her i pick my people that i'm a fan of and it's like it's embarrassing like whitney simmons has a gym shark pop-up today i'm about to go buy my weight in gym shark outfits i love that yeah i i found her from one of those tart trips i didn't go on it but i saw that she was on it and i was like you're doing like squats with your nice butt and you're in Bora Bora it was great do you ever like okay her instagrams it's it's insane her squats when she squats I'm like will I ever look like that it's not possible it's it's one of those things that I'm like I can't like my butt will never look like that but also

like I can't squat that low I truly can't I just like look at her form and I'm just like things I aspire to be like same like I will never look when they're like okay now squat like you're sitting in a chair i'm like i'm gonna look like i'm sitting in a stool like a high school like i'm never going to be like she squats like she's squatting sitting on a squatty potty that's how low she goes it's insane and she looks perfect doing it it's stupid it's crazy yeah i want to be that ripped i want to be like when i get to be a mom i want to be that fucking ripped okay i love ripped moms i do too with like their giant biceps you want like the challenge of like getting pregnant first and then getting ripped yeah it's like okay it gives me it gives me time it gives

me a lot of time and also like you have to like i used to like decide i decided i wanted to work out because i wanted to lift my own suitcase into the overhead bin yes same but i feel like i want to get ripped when i have kids because i have to lift children like and it's not just like a once a year oh let me put my suitcase up like no no this is like my kid will be like mommy and i'll be like fuck you don't just pull them with with one hand just toss them that's what i want to do have you ever seen those moms do workout videos with their kids where they're like bench pressing their children like yoga and i'm like okay no i want to like yeah i want to deadlift um if you guys are new here this is don't blame me it's an advice podcast uh and if you want to

be on an upcoming episode or you don't necessarily want to be but you like really need help with your life and you want to leave us a voicemail you can give us a call at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com i'm gonna do my very best i'm hoping that i've been in enough therapy to make me a good advice giver right yeah i i feel like at this point if i'm not like i should ask for a refund like i would like my money back right oh should we get on to the first one let's try it hey megan and melissa and whoever else is there um i'm 23 i just started law school and by the way listen to your podcast on my commute every single day to school and away

from school it's great so that being said um i have found in my life that i make the best relationships organically. In undergrad, I joined a sorority and realized life wasn't for me and it took me like three or four years to make solid friends with common interests. Then I go to law school and they basically make you feel like networking and knowing everyone and getting along with everyone and um essentially just being like a very extroverted person is um not the only way to excel but I guess like just it's important and I would consider myself more of an introvert I'm kind of like a one-on-one person but in terms of like starting conversations with people it's not my thing um if someone talks to me of course like I'm friendly but most of the people in my class

have this like disingenuineness about them and um it's it's so hard uh it kind of brings it out me like I feel like I have to fake conversation or like I want to be a bubbly person so I guess my question is do you have any advice um for an introvert and kind of like social settings how to start conversations how to lead conversations but also like how not to get caught up in the bullshit and to just kind of be genuine while also you know being likable in some way damn that's hard yeah can I first say like being genuine is the most likable yeah so it's not an either or very much goes together uh do you consider yourself an introvert I I think I'm like I joked about with this my therapist I think I'm like a depressed extrovert like and like a

socially anxious extrovert like I don't regain energy a lot like in the definition of an introvert like you regain that energy and like you refill your tank alone or like in those kinds of situations I don't feel like that like I feel like when I'm around people that I really like and I've chosen to be there and I feel like it's like my kind of setting like if I'm on set like I come home and I'm so energized like the whole time like I'm like feeding off of that energy I don't feel like that if I'm just like spending the day at home by myself but at the same time like if I'm with a group of people I don't like yeah like I don't I'm not thriving I'm like I'm dying inside I'm fucking dying I'm fucking dying um okay but that's also kind of I feel like the situation that

she's in is like do you consider yourself more of an introvert I'm fully introverted yeah that makes definitely I get my energy being alone I relate to this struggle a hundred percent like this sounds like i could have called in and asked this question at one point in my life so networking is it's i i also find it a really disingenuous thing yeah i think yeah okay first thing i want to throw out there is i read this book called quiet uh i forget the tagline it's something like the artist surviving the introvert's guide to surviving in a world they can't stop talking and i think uh this caller would actually really like it it opens with a story of the author's experience as a lawyer and how being an introvert actually really helped her so I think

this would be a good one it goes into a lot of the unique strengths that introverts bring to the world because for me like I grew up being very introverted and especially in high school I felt like that meant that I was never going to like have a place you know because high school the hierarchy is how confident and how loud are you exactly um and so I think like part of my own journey of like fully embracing myself has been learning that like i do have strengths and good things to offer the world as an introvert and i think that book was one is like a particular turning point for me so i recommend um okay but i have so many thoughts i have to collect no i mean i'm i'm already impressed with the book oh thank you very much yeah very very impressed

yeah it's called the quiet the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking okay i got close you were very close really fucking close hey um let's see so i think you're asking two things actually i think you're asking about making genuine connections with people that you care about and you're asking about the act of networking and i don't think that they necessarily have to be the same thing i think that when we try to make networking something where we feel like there's going to be a level of connection that you can make with people but that's not necessarily where you're going to get into like the stuff that makes you move and feel as a person you know that's your close relationships that's your friends that's your family that's all that

the art of networking is I think it's about making connections with people in your field people that have similar interests and all those kind of things that are going to help you when you get out of law school and you're working in whatever facet of law you want to get into so I think as far as like how to survive networking and how to make it work for you i think you know and embrace the fact that you seem like you're a very like you're a person that really enjoys your own sense of authenticity and your own sense of genuineness with people and with conversation and that is going to help you so much in your professional life and in your personal life i think it will even help you honestly in networking because it

gives you the ability to actually care when you're having small talk with people which i feel sometimes people that are just like extroverted to the extreme don't have um so like i guess first is like recognize your strengths and then recognize that like when you are networking it's a skill it's learning how to like you somebody brings up something it's like batting i think of it like tennis like that it's like a mini meeting it's not like a friend casual hangout exactly so you learn like the ropes of like here's how you like bounce the ball back and forth across the court and get it where you're trying to go you know so if you're trying to make a connection in this class so that you have I don't know just to prove to yourself that you can make connections

that's one thing if you're trying to get something out of it like later in life where you need a connection to get you into a certain role or whatever like you know you you gain those skills and so I think part of it is just practice and I honestly because like doing what we do we have to network quite a bit and i hate it i hate it it makes me feel like i'm dying it well i know because every time we end up at a networking event we just sit on a we find a couch and we just sit and ignore everybody else we do this is why i have no new i'm like no i'm good i don't need to meet anybody else if i know one person i'm like i'm solid no i know i've done that too obviously um but i've read books like i think it's like 92 ways to talk to anybody and it's

like little tips and stuff that you can like have in the back of your head or there's a youtube channel called charisma on demand um where they just give you like little tips for like how to like go through a conversation and if you're an introvert you're probably a little bit more introspective you probably think in terms of like facts and figures a little bit more so it will probably help you to have a couple things in your back pocket where you're like oh okay so in this situation if i do this it will help things move forward just like giving you like a little bit of a sense of knowing what you're doing a little bit of sense of confidence and like maybe in an area where you don't feel it as much yeah and I think it's play on the strength

of the fact that you say you work so much better in like on a one-on-one like that's like what you're saying is like when you the person who's like networking in the sense of like talking to a big group and like being funny like that's not someone you're like oh I can really like you but if you're actually trying to get like a work connection later on people aren't like well I don't actually really know if you've got great worth work ethic like I know that you're funny and like you're charming but I don't have that like a one-on-one memory so like I think if like you find someone who like looks friendly like there's and like I think a lot of people fake the networking thing of like being like oh yeah I'm on I'm on so as disingenuine as all these

other people seem I think if you can come through very genuine and talk to one person I think that facade that they're putting on will probably drop and I think focusing one-on-one even if it's like you go to these networking events and maybe that's not where you thrive but there's like someone in one of your classes that like you think is really interesting or some like a TA or I don't even know how law school works in that way but like someone that you want like and maybe it's like hey like I'd love to take you to coffee and pick your brain and then you can have that one-on-one conversation and I think a good starter is like yeah come like finding like different things but if any time for me when I'm like feeling super uncomfortable and like trying to get to know someone and like make

those connections I just ask a ton of questions like I'm just gonna start by asking you about yourself and that makes that person feel so much more comfortable and then it you I at least for me like I get the most anxious when I think that like I'm fucking up a conversation and someone else feels weird so I'm gonna do anything to make you just feel like this is the greatest conversation ever even if like I'm not getting anything out of it but you being like oh wow this was really great and I talked about myself all the time then I feel like okay cool this I feel more confident and comfortable so I think that's a good way to do it and you don't feel like you're putting yourself out on a limb as much when you're talking about like yourself in that way because

like you're just asking about them um and you're right it's a muscle it's something that you practice and like you said at the beginning like it's so different than making friends i think it's one thing is many meetings and many interviews and that and then the other one is like finding really nice cool people and even the people that you might see and meet at these networking things might come across as really like not your kind of person but they might end up being that once you see them and talk to them in the real world for sure yeah yeah I used to go to when I first moved here go to networking events like I'd be at one like three times a week and it was exhausting and the thing is nothing ever really came out of it because everyone was trying to do the same thing

and so I found that the that just making friends with people and then like your friends can connect you with other people that are in that field so like for example um this one girl that i did i met like at a vidcon one year she um is was it me it was at the same vidcon where we saw each other like yeah anyway um but she um is one of these people that just knows everyone and she's good at the networking until she'll be like hey melissa i have somebody that i think you would vibe with and so she'll set us up on like a coffee thing and so i think like finding friends that are like genuine and and um it's the first step in actually networking yeah i guess that actually makes sense um one quick thing was like when i was working on my social anxiety to put words to what you said

one of the things that i read is that like typically when we start to spiral and freak out over like how we're performing in a conversation we're turning the focus back in and like circling here where what you should do is turn it back to the other person and like focus and it takes the weight and pressure off of you exactly um and the other thing like when i started cosmetology school and i had to talk to people like all the freaking time i would go home every day and cry about it like it was the hardest thing and yeah muscle builds it up yeah it's like it's it's like dating and as much as people think that like it might come across like wow people are so good at this and they really like it no one does like it and i think like if you can not and

I don't think you'll get caught up in like the the faking it aspect but I think once you do it more you'll see that it is kind of just like putting on a show in a facade and that it's not a forever thing and it's not gonna it's not it's not what will make or break everything and I think like especially in like college and I'm assuming law school in that same way I that kind of like idea that like you have to like speak to big groups and like make all these like that that's what really matters and like lasts but it's I mean I remember like even I mean I was like because like you were in a sorority and like you get along well with all of them and like you still do stuff well not all of them but like you still are active in like alumni stuff I have friends who join

sororities just for the networking stuff and they're like yeah no I didn't none of that shit panned out at all so like I wouldn't put as much pressure on yourself for networking I think when you're young and you're trying to like I don't know stand out I think like we try to find anything we can that's going to get a leg up and put a lot of weight on it when it's really not actually as important as like your education and like if these like networking events and stuff like in the long haul of like your career in law is that's not what's going to make or break it at all that's for sure the other thing is I guess there's didn't say this but there are very much different kinds of networkers like I can go into an event and I'll probably make like three if I'm

really trying I'll make like three to five like connections where like me and this person actually like spend time together and there's something that can come out of it and then there's some people that can go in and they can meet 20 people and dazzle all of them and both of those methods are entirely valid yeah and it's just whoever you are in that situation and whatever is right for you um so yeah it's just finding your own voice and your own self in there but also like when you feel like people are being kind of bullshitty and just like trying to put on a face like they're learning their style too and it's not you know you don't have to meet them on that you can stay in your own authenticity in that yeah and people will see that and they'll like that but best of

luck and congrats on law school for sure like okay Elle Woods yeah dude um and yeah let us know how it goes hi Megan hi Melissa and uh whoever the guest is um I'm 20 years old I'm turning 21 in April, so a few months from now. I'm in college, and so not really sure how to start off here. I know it sounds a little, not even shallow that I worry about this, but just this isn't something that I would normally like pick at or notice. But one of the things that bothers me about my friend group is I'm not really close to all of them. I have a very strong personality and I somehow just always find out when people are talking to me just because I'm constantly having anxiety and I just feel like my anxiety like just always leads me towards finding

out that people are talking about me if that makes sense um so I've heard some really really horrible things that were said about me and um not that I'm the type to hold a grudge but I just feel like a lot of true colors were shown and it just kind of hurts me to kind of just be living with these people and um kind of just be struggling because they are my only college friends um but my main main question is what do I do about feeling so bothered when my friend group they all comment on each other's like instagrams and stuff you know like being supportive friend like complimenting them but then like when I post something like I don't get any replies like say like on my snapchat story like they never say like oh you look so cute like no one checks up on

me like it I don't know I guess it's just one of those little things that for some reason bother me um I tried taking like a social media detox or whatever um by deleting Instagram and I honestly loved it but literally just now which prompted me to make this call I redownloaded it and the first thing I saw was one of my um friend group uh one of the girls in my friend group had posted a picture and literally all of them were commenting like you look great like blah blah blah and I was tempted to be Betty and post a picture and just kind of do like a little social experiment but I just deleted the app. So that is helping me. I'm just wondering if you have any words of advice of just hopefully what I can do to just kind of be a little bit more mature about

the situation and not let something so silly like social media comments kind of really get to me. um i love your podcast i literally listen to it constantly in the car at the gym um yeah i love you guys thank you so much bye i mean i don't think you're being immature at all no i don't think so i also really relate to you big personality you can sniff when people are talking about you from a mile away yeah that is my it is my number one party trick that no one asks to see we'll be at a party and i'll be either with like mots or i'll be with like somebody else and I'll just be looking I was like my girl's talking about me right now and Mott's like no she's not no that girl's 100% talking about me right now and then like someone else will come

over and like talk and like will say like say something that I'm like oh no yeah you clearly this is this is like a whole thing wow it's also it's mostly like girls who like has like have like made out with my boyfriend or like had like oh I like didn't know that he had a girlfriend it's like and then I'm like bitch I can and I'm like super confrontational so I very much understand that feeling um but I truly I think the reason like you're saying like I don't want this to bother me as much and be more mature I think the the reason it bothers you um is because like there it it follows the same narrative that like your friends who like have you know have been talking bad about you behind your back and then you go on Instagram and they're all hyping each

other up and not talking and not commenting on yours like it follows the same narrative of like i truly just think you have some shitty friends and it sucks and like anytime someone calls in or says anything about a friend group my red flags go up right and i'm like friend groups it's not it doesn't work it doesn't function in the way that like oh and they and they also carry such importance in high school and like college and like that time when you have like your group of like your group of gals like you have like I think about that to like my like high school like friend group there's a pre-prom picture of us senior gear and nothing is more like uh show telling of me in my high school experience because it's me with like 50 40 people

and that's like technically my friend group and in every picture it's my best friend Cindy and I looking at each other either squeezing each other's hands like laughing or just looking at each other as if nobody else is there because like that's the thing it's like you can't be you can't be incredibly incredibly close with like 15 people and have you all be on the same page and have like them all be equally as close like it's natural that people are going to kind of break off into like twos or threes and it really sucks when it feels like you don't have I have a really hard time with when people have issues with me that I don't have issues with them because I'm like why do you hate what do you mean i don't hate you like what did and i'm like i i get very like well

i want to hate you first like what the fuck like that kind of thing and it feels really frustrating um but i think like i think like i get that you like i think you live with them did you say she's roommates yeah so i think like what you need to do is there's definitely the you're feeling really really isolated and you're the only one in this situation and not even like a woe is me kind of way but I would say try and like take a step back and like do some digging and see are they doing this to other people and you're like it is does it feel like they're the one like you're the only one out or is it like are there a couple of people left out and if that's true reach out to those people and hang out with those people in your friend

group a little bit more I think even if it is like a small friend group there does tend to be a hierarchy of like who's the coolest one and those voices and what they say and do like that means the most and that matters the most to get that approval um and i think like fostering relationships with like small like even like the first call like smaller groups of people and like one-on-one kind of stuff i think it's gonna feel a lot better and more important and deeper because like those are people that actually really care about you and i think the reason why you're upset about the social media stuff it's because it's manifesting this like fear that you have that your friends don't that some of your friends don't like you and are talking bad about you and it just

kind of adds to it um and i think the detoxing is a great thing but i think like you also kind of need to detox shitty people in your life yeah when i was listening to this i was like so is it the instagram comments that are a problem or the friends that are a problem um i mean it's hard to tell because like I'm not there's so much information you don't have I'm like gonna retweet all of what you just said though that was great oh man yeah I would say like I think that's really good advice about like taking a look at the rest of the friend group and seeing like is it like and first of all like I think one of the very first things she said was like I'm not close to everybody in my friend group and I was like that sounds normal to me like I had a very small group

in high school not 50 people but like like six to eight and i talked to very little of them still and i was very very close with only half of them you know it's i think it's very normal to only have like close relationships with a couple of people and when like and a situation puts together like 10 people like you're not all gonna get along you're like situational friends and you can make that work and you can make really great you know relationships from that but i don't think you have to stress about like do i have equally strong relationships with these 10 people because i feel like 10 actually truly close friends that's impossible that's a lot that's a full-time job yeah and you can't date then either oh yeah like that's so much so yeah i i like the idea of taking

a step back and seeing if you feel closer to other people it sounds like for whatever reason you guys are not fully jiving right now and I don't know what that's about um if there are people that you feel like you're closer to and you're really in tune with and would like to keep investing in those relationships like maybe you could open up the dialogue just a little bit and be like you know hey I'm just getting the sense that like maybe there's a little distance or something and I really care about you as a friend and I want to make sure everything's okay um and you know if they're invested and they're a good friend they'll find a way to have that conversation with you and if they're not at a point where they can do that or they're just your personalities don't

jive that's not anything about you it's just you know you guys are at a really transitional time in your lives and you're learning a lot about yourselves and about each other and it's fine for friendships to ebb and flow um so yeah i would just like take a look at this friend group see who matters um let go the ones that don't not necessarily like cut them out but just you know don't don't let your validity rise and fall with how they feel about you um and if this friend group isn't like the group then like find people that you know you can really hype on instagram and they'll hype you back because they cut your back yeah and i think it's a it's it's a hard line to figure out the difference of who do you want to be friends with and whose approval are

you seeking yeah and i when i got like fully exiled from my college friend group i now looking back on i so desperately was like i like at that time i was like no i really wanted to be friends again with them i won't be friends again i was like no i got burned and i wanted their approval back and like all of that that i put into that and that investing into it it wasn't because they were great friends clearly they didn't want to be my friend but like that felt so shitty to me that like i was just seeking their approval and calling it friendship and then that's a game you cannot win ever so i think it's take it back and like do you you don't want friends who don't do that like that's like it's the same thing with dating like you don't want to force someone who's like

not that into you to date you like you also don't want to be friends with people who aren't great like and it's a hard thing to have especially because when you're yeah when you're in college and all that stuff like you you want to have friends regardless you're like even if they're shitty like i'll take i just need some friends but i think like you can have like the the i don't want to say yeah like more like surface level friendship with these people and then invest in the ones that are worth investing in yeah for sure and yeah in general you don't want to let your sense of self rise and fall based on how other people are treating you like you are valid and worthy of love and belonging no matter how many people are your friend or how many people in this

friend group comment on your picture start there yeah and then work out yeah I need some advice about dealing with a difficult person we'll say um last year my roommate ended up being a very rude person and just all around not a good person to be around um in short it was obviously a year long deal of me living with her but basically she thought that I was bullying her if I wouldn't like come in and talk to her um when really all I want to do is go and watch Netflix she told me that I needed to go to therapy to deal with being stressed out um which I'm fine with therapy of course but it was a said a very rude way um and it was just constantly her saying that I was bullying her and when oddly enough an issue came up over pillows um everything just kind of exploded

And she started telling other people that I threatened her life because she moved my pillows, which is not true at all. But the thing that makes this really difficult is that we're in the same sorority. And literally in a couple of days, I'm going back to campus and living in the house once again, luckily with different people. But I will definitely be around her. And I just want your advice on, like, how to deal with someone who has caused all of this trauma, so to speak. She's, like, blocked me on all social media, refuses to, like, acknowledge my existence anymore, which is fine with me because we never really got along after that whole situation happened. But we're still in the same sorority, and I just want everything to be cool, and it's really making me nervous going back. So any advice that you might have about how to be in her presence, especially when I hear her talking bad about me, would be greatly appreciated.

Love you guys. Thanks. Bye. Are we sure this isn't like a Netflix horror movie waiting to happen? honestly it's so funny though because like uh people always make fun of like you know like girls quote unquote or people for caring so much about throw pillows like that's like like oh my god you have so many fucking pillows like you and your obsession with pillows like that's literally monster's like number one joke with me that like we have too much like you and your throw pillows and i'm like this girl like i love that like this is like classic what like straight guys think girls fight over yeah it's probably they probably like lost

her friendship overthrow pillows oh my god they did yeah i mean gosh i mean i don't i don't know how great i'm gonna be at answering this because you want a way to like be cool and be mature whereas for me i would just flat out fucking ignore her like i just wouldn't ignore i would i would not acknowledge her presence would your leo just full-on take over oh my god yeah i would just be like i'm also one of the people that like if i sense crazy and unhinged i fucking hate unhinged people i do not like people who are unpredictable and like i don't know what they're gonna do or say so I am like I'm not fucking liable like I'm as far as the fucking way as possible if you I'm not I am will not be questioned they will not be a witness like I am not like I

like to like really remove myself from that um and so yeah that that's I mean I just think like it's you can want to be cool and cordial with someone but clearly she doesn't want that with you so i don't think that i think whatever she the relationship that she has with you i don't think i think that's what you mirror and if she's gonna be like petty and stoop like really low i don't say not don't mirror that but if she's gonna just flat out ignore you i would take i would have her like set the tone for how it's going to be when you see her and you can just like smile and say like hey and then if she's just like it's like totally ignores you then like okay cool and then if she brings it up later it's like well you ignore I thought that that's what you

would have wanted from me like I was taking what I assumed you would have wanted but I don't think that you should put any more time or energy into this and I get that that's hard because like there's definitely people who like I have like beef with and like when I see them it's like I'm gonna but I'm also like I'm gonna fucking avoid the shit out of you like I'm gonna try and not run into you and if I do I'm gonna like have a three second delay see what you do and then I'm gonna like go there because I think if you put yourself out on a limb and try and like be the bigger person it sounds like you rightfully so have like traumatic feelings around her and I think like the more that you get invested in this the more you're possibly gonna get hurt yeah this

seems like a little bit of like a crazy vortex almost like whatever yeah whatever can get into it gets like reinterpreted as crazy um I hate I don't like use the word crazy around women but it's highly emotional and volatile we'll go with that um see okay so i'm a cancer so i'm like oh my god like sweet little water sign like how do we deal with this yeah okay um i don't i actually don't hate your answer though like i'm with you i think you know if she's blocking you if she's gonna ignore you and give you the cold shoulder like there is no reason for you to talk to her about it like genuinely i don't think that there is i think probably the most important thing with this kind of personality in general is boundaries so you need to set the boundary for yourself that

you are not going to get pulled back into this drama if she tries to revive this whole like ending your life over throw pillows narrative just be like i'm not talking about it i'm not feeding into it if the girls in the sorority want it to be a whole thing you're not commenting on it like you are beyonce in the elevator with yeah that's you right now um that's a good it's a good person to be yeah i'd be here any day honestly yeah i would be beyonce any day wouldn't we all um but yeah cool calm collective like this is like she doesn't need to add any more trauma or drama to your life and i can't tell you for sure that she won't try to but i can tell you for sure that you don't have to give her the time of day

so if she tries to you know have a conversation with you and like start drama um you know i would see like if it's like oh my god you moved my throw pillows or whatever um just come at it with like facts and figures like i'm sorry that you feel i moved your throw pillows i will not move them again goodbye yeah like like almost lawyer that stuff like don't even and i i think and we've said i've given this advice before where it's like people you really don't like but who are unhinged they're going to show their true colors and other people will be able to make that judgment call so i think the more that you can even pretend like this past year never happened and like she's a girl in your sorority that like you don't know that well and that you don't really have any desire

being friends with but like it's as if it never fucking happens if she if she sees you and she's like hey and you're like oh hey what's up like and to be like well and it's like just very as if like you literally have no clue why she would hate you or why she would be mad at you but don't do that in like an invest like let's start being friends again it's just like a oh i'm unfazed by everything yeah exactly yeah from like personal experience there was a girl in my sorority who she was a liar and user of people and i caught on to it pretty early on and um i started like ignoring her and then she started talking bad about me um and she did it because she wanted my attention yeah and so then um other people started catching and i would just like i would acknowledge her

presence but i wouldn't like i wasn't her friend in any sort of the the matter and so slowly other people started catching on and realizing like who she actually was and then it was like she was she was not i wouldn't say exile but people just knew who she was and she stopped being able to take advantage of other people yeah she put herself in her own place essentially like there i think that people like that it's only a matter of time before like they're they're the ones who are going to bring their i don't want to say demise but they're the ones who are going to bring that upon them it's not anyone else's responsibility exactly and it's an like thanos it's inevitable um but i uh yeah i i think like it can be really really hard um especially if you

have like yeah still traumatic hurt feelings that can be like it's a trigger like it's totally a trigger um and i think the the best advice i could say is truly just have a couple friends who know the situation don't show up to sorority events where you know she's gonna be at first like give yourself kind of padding and cushioning so you have someone there who can be with you like that you're not really caught in a place that can kind of slip you back into those feelings and creating those boundaries to like protect yourself and then just fucking faking it and eventually it's gonna get a lot easier and also the kind of like faux nice oblivious thing is really cunty and it feels really like good but it also doesn't make you you're not going out of your way to cause

drama in a way and it still is you're still able to dislike her and hate her you're just reconstructing how you're doing that but it feels just as satisfying to you i always say like who you actually are will who you are will shine truer and brighter than what people say about you which will work both for you and for her um so just yeah be you do you let that be it um but then my other thing that i like to remind myself of often is don't feed the trolls so if she is this you know emotionally volatile likes to have some kind of drama going on and you were her last drama target she might try to see if she can reignite that and keep that one going and you just need to be above it which i think we've said at this point don't be the trolls

and just let it be realize that this is like her burnout action she's going to go through this crescendo of whatever toward you and then it will move on to the next person just let it be yeah just take a front row seat honestly yeah get your popcorn yeah i'm ready to watch this crumble oh well best of luck hope you have a great school year do good in school in class face it and um use protection cool we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back okay everybody we're back from our break and we're gonna hop into the rest of the calls Hi, Megan. I'm 23 years old and I'm kind of in a dilemma with a friend. So I decided to create an app for my friend and her boyfriend's business and I was not paid. I reiterated many times that this app was beyond my knowledge. I was the only one developing the app. I couldn't talk about it, share the code with anyone else. I got the majority of it done, but after a month, I told them that they would have to look for another person

because I will not be able to fix it within their deadline. My friend responded by saying that I was giving up on her and quitting on her. Because I was taking on other projects, she said, How would I be able to do those projects if I keep quitting on everyone else? There was a miscommunication of how much of a role I would be within their app, and I think she was hurt by that. Two days pass, and I see a post on Facebook saying that there's a person who's close to her who is toxic. I don't care that she posts about me, but I just find it ironic that she says that I was toxic because I feel the same way about her. She's insecure about her weight, and she keeps telling me that I need to eat more because I'm skinny.

She'll compare her awful financial situation to me, says she doesn't have the money to pay for her bills, but spends $3,000 to take a week trip to Florida. Then she'll justify her spending saying that, oh, because you don't have a kid and other payments, that's why I'm not in debt. But why does that matter? I didn't choose to have a kid and pay for two dogs. I know how to live within my means.

I feel like I'm in some constant competition with her. whenever her life is great she'll push her choices on me but when it's going bad she'll take it out on me honestly what comes what it comes down to is i don't feel respected in the relationship and i don't have the patience to put up with shitty behavior the only thing that's preventing me cutting ties is that she has done a lot for me and i've been friends with her for over a decade she wrote that out she did i love honestly i appreciate that i feel like i would be that person oh yeah yeah i'd be the what calls we get in the back of the uber drunk oh my god i just found this boy and i fucked up i love those calls those are so fun oh my gosh

people's like actual first call of like you haven't even gotten home yet or it's just like i'm in my car and i just did something so stupid i'm like we're the first person it makes me laugh this sucks like this hardcore sucks um you know let's just like let's go ahead and give it up for like realizing the toxic traits and like i feel like sometimes when you're in them it sounds like she likes to really she being the caller really likes to like invest into relationships and give into things and care for people and it can be really hard to set your own boundaries in that scenario and she is in the sense that like she sees what's toxic so good for you hardest part is realizing the problem ish it takes a while oh yeah it's like there has to be

a breaking point i think the the the app and not that kind of stuff i think that for you it's i'm not i don't maybe at least for me when i i always had in toxic friendships i would get to a point where it was like a moment of clarity it'd be like something i talk about this in therapy all of time like an event has to happen that like my like trauma brain can't go oh this is my fault oh this is me like and it has to be something that i'm like no no all of those like negative thoughts in my head that like try and justify if those can't even justify something that i'm like oh and it's like a like whole thing is lifted and suddenly you see everything else that you're like oh wow yeah this is what's been happening this whole time yeah it's like a crazy reality shift

yeah yeah like taking off vr goggles and i'm just like holy shit how did i end up here that's actually so accurate i i think like i think it's sucky that uh people who you've known for a long period of time and people that you've invested in a lot and that have meant a lot to you it really sucks and it disappoints you so much more when those people end up being shitty but they're not like protected from that like anybody can be a toxic person a toxic friend and like they're not exempt because you've known them the longest or anything like that and it's really sucky to know that no matter how much time and energy and effort you put into a relationship like things can happen that are totally out of your control that you didn't ask for

and that can end it and turn people to be really shitty to you um and there is i don't think that there's any reason to stay in a friendship that isn't a friendship because that's the thing like that's your relationship like it's not it's not how you met it's not like no we're not like how you met and how long you've known each other has literally nothing to do with qualities of a friend that's just the context of how you became friends right and if she's not being your friend then she's not your friend it's someone that you know who you've been really close with and who's really fucked that tie like fuck that up and she sounds you sound super aware of the fact that she's clearly hurting and she's taking it out on you um but you're doing nobody any favors

by letting her do not say letting her do that but like you don't need to stick around i do i have this like i tell my friends this all the time when they're friends people like this i'm like you don't have to like even if someone's going through really terrible time you don't have to stick around and be a punching bag because that's not your responsibility and that's not your job and also that doesn't actually help them that doesn't help them move through it or move past it there are times where like you can lash out at your friends and then realize that you fucked up and apologize or you have that conversation but if you can't have that conversation with her and you're just describing these things that she's done as just like character traits and stuff all

the time like by that behavior is just who she is at this point yeah and it's not something that's you've been able to kind of correct and redirect and she's been able to grow from and it when and then that's just enabling that kind of like shitty behavior and some people just need to like fucking fall flat on their ass yeah i agree i was i was thinking about that as you were because what i find is somebody that um does tend to like stick around in these kind of relationships and really try to like help people and it's like oh they're hurting i can help them like they're punching me but eventually they'll get over it like what i found is that like typically what these types of individuals need most is to experience the consequences of their actions

um so yeah falling flat on their face in their own way um i don't it does not sound like you owe her anything it sounds like you feel like you do based on the amount of time that you've been friends maybe stuff that she's helped you through in the past and I think I mean you can have a thank you next moment with that like she's been there for you she's been something for you she's clearly meant something in your life and it's okay for her role in your life to be done um like I think I don't really know if you would ever have characterized her as a soulmate but I define soulmates as like any kind of relationship that is deeply meaningful and helpful to you it can be familial friend romantic it can last for a lifetime it can last for months um and it's okay

for those seasons to come and go and so it sounds like this friendship has like found and ended its season I think it you guys would both be better off um you know taking a step back and I think you hit it on the head with like this was like a very um catalysty moment for her to realize like how toxic everything was i will say just like as a side note as somebody that like i work with my sister like she's an employee of mine if you're ever going to work with like friends or family like have an agreement that's written up around like how things will be paid when they will be paid what are the roles that you're fulfilling um just that just helps you didn't do anything wrong in the situation it just came up for me wanted to throw it out there yeah contracts yeah

they're very fully in writing very very helpful well best of luck yes um and like cool on the fact that you can like make apps yeah like should we go on to the next we should hi negan i'm 25 years old and i have kind of like a really general question for you i have been dating since i was like 18 and i've had a few boyfriends and i seem to have the same problem in all my relationships and I have this expectation that I just can't shake no matter how hard I try it always gets the best of me and it always makes me feel truly worthless if they don't meet this expectation and I'm just wondering if that's normal I feel like no matter who I date no one ever wants to take me out on dates no one ever wants to celebrate me for example I just got a

new condo and my boyfriend didn't even bring over flowers. And, you know, all these guys from work came over and dropped off all these housewarming presents. And it just, it hurts my feelings a lot to know that my own boyfriend can't even bring me flowers. And at the same time, you know, I don't want to be that girl that expects gifts and expects, you know, him to pay for dates. But I find myself paying for all the dates. And then if he does pay, he only pays his half. And it's just really something that I just can't get over. And I don't know if maybe I'm the problem and that's an expectation that I shouldn't have. Or if it is an expectation that's realistic, how could I go about meeting somebody that is going to meet that expectation? Because I date so many different

people different races and ages and heights and jobs and backgrounds and you know you name it and it always ends up being exactly the same um I I really just want to go on a date once every like four to six months and it always seems to be like something that isn't possible and is not a priority in anyone's life and I don't know I just I just wanted to know if maybe like I need to address this with myself or if that's totally realistic um I I don't want to be the person who sets up all the dates anymore my boyfriend recently set up a date and a week in advance and he just failed and I can't help but being so disappointed because I've been looking forward to it all week anyways let me know what you think thank you so much wait did she just say she wants

to go on a date every four to six months yep that's that's the baseline yep i mean first of all i think you need to date um retired rich guys who have a lot of time and a lot of money i don't think that's it i think it might be the personality of the guy that she's dating i was thinking i was like you can get the same personality type in any package yeah you and your boyfriend to take this quiz because I think it'll be enlightening for you to see how he shows love in ways that you don't necessarily receive it. So for you, you're not feeling that love because you, in my assumption, receive that love through gifts and quality time. And he's not necessarily giving you that so you don't feel love. But maybe the way he shows love is through

acts of service and words of affirmation. And then you're like, oh, wow, he is showing me how why she cares about me because he's telling me all of this but i'm just not and not even in like a knocking you away like you're just not able to you don't read it that same way maybe he's like like he's unloading the dishwasher like he's like buying certain like he's not like getting you flowers but like he like got you milk when he saw that you're running out and moths and i have very different love languages mine mine is quality time and physical touch so i'm clinging as hell honestly same like i just like want to be like i just want you to want to be around me all the time and like if your hand could be on me anywhere at any point in time i would be totally happy we're

sitting next to each other and you're not touching me i'm like are you mad at me like it is just like no i'm sitting right next to you like you're not touching me like i just want you to hold my hand like i am so clingy like that but for him um his are words of affirmation and acts of service and so like like and i've learned that now that like he'll go and he sees that we're out of milk or coffee and before i even know he's already bought it and replenished it or i like will mention like oh fuck i gotta get remind me to get gas um in the morning and i'll wake up and he'll be like hey i got you gas and like and like in that kind of stuff but like from like my natural instinct i had to learn that like oh this is you like i can receive that now but like natural immediately

that wouldn't have been like a i wasn't taking that like oh wow thank you so much because he's like no i'm showing you how much i care about you but i was just being like oh yeah we ran out of i look like cool thanks like but i was like oh no this is and and that was a great way to kind of see that but i think you need to take it with him to kind of understand where he's at but at the same time it's also very okay to like expect and want certain things out of relationships i think you just need to figure out uh why you want those things and is that how you like receive love or is it um is it something that you're not getting that you think will kind of make this relationship click more and you'll be more and this will be this will be the good thing and like this is

what's missing but like he just might not be that guy yeah and it might be that like oh i i think in theory i really want these sorts of things but like in the actual act of it does it like what is it that matters like or is it like oh yeah he's not planning dates is that the part that is upsetting to you or is the fact that you don't feel like you're getting to spend quality time with him and even if like or uninterrupted like you're not on your phones or something like that and like the fact that like he didn't bring flowers is the flowers that you're upset about or is it the fact that like you don't feel like you're getting attention and it's not actually the flowers like you just don't feel like seen and you don't feel really cared for um because i

think i think like you're really going solution based which is very much me where i'm like oh this is the like let's just change this and fix this and this will be right but it might also be representative of deeper feelings that you have about the relationship yeah yeah i was pretty much on the same page as you there i would definitely say like step one assess love languages make sure that y'all are on the same page um because it is funny how much people can talk past each other with those oh yeah um actually i have a friend of mine whose um significant others love language is acts of service and then hers is world words of validation and she was like it's like it's really great to know but also i hate it because i have to like do the dishes

and do all this stuff and he just has to tell me i'm pretty but as soon as they figured it out it made such a big difference and like I've felt that in relationships as well where it's like when you're able to like learn each other's language it helps a lot barring that it sounds like again what you said she wants to feel more seen and celebrated in a relationship and yes that is an absolutely normal thing to want that is not selfish that is not wrong I think you know it's a spectrum you could make that a giant selfish thing if it was like excuse me where is my breakfast in bed this morning yeah that that's maybe a little far but if you just like if the goal really is like a really great date that your boyfriend plans every four to six

months like that is a very low bar yeah like extremely low bar so if you're not getting that level of care and insight in your relationship then yeah maybe like first of all that's a normal thing to expect and maybe this isn't the right relationship for that I do think like based on what I've heard it's probably best to go ahead and like assess whether or not you guys are expressing your affections in the same way and just see if you guys are on the same page you're just expressing it differently um but I also don't think that it's wrong to want to feel you know desired and seen and celebrated um in a relationship because I've been in relationships where I wasn't like significantly and I thought I was the problem and I thought I was wrong and I've experienced

relationships where i have been a priority and it's life-changing um and so like yeah obviously you want to know that you're you're seen and you're cared for first and foremost and that's definitely valid i would do a little bit of like self-work maybe like some journaling maybe reading some self-help books um just figuring out like what is it that i really want from a relationship what things really make my heart sing like in theory or in practice what has gone well for me in the past um what do i want and why do i want it do i want this because i saw it in a rom-com or do i want this because it sounds like it would really fill something in my heart or my soul or whatever i think it also needs to be a conversation with him because i think at least from what i'm

hearing you're doing a lot of like do on to others as you would like done on to you but if you're planning all of the dates he doesn't have to plan them because you're doing it and like example me I love planning my own birthday I don't want anyone to plan my birthday Mott's one year wanted to plan my like my birthday and I it was causing me so much stress and anxiety and he's like well no it's just gonna like be and then finally he's like oh you like doing this like that's okay this makes sense he might think that you enjoy planning these dates he might like if this is like a subtle hint that you want him to do it but I think like I don't want to say like oh take something away and then from there but having a conversation like for him like what is his ideal date night

maybe his ideal date night is like sitting and like watching netflix and eating pizza and maybe yours is going out and doing stuff and the thing to touch on the financial aspect of it yeah that's what i was thinking about if he's can't pay for a date for both of you he can't pay for a date for both of you and that's something that like if and no shade if you want to date someone who's can do that you have to go out of your way to date somebody who's financially well off and willing and able to spend their money on you but that's not a precursor to every relationship and it's it's something that you're going to need to seek out and be really go go for that because nobody should like go broke for that and also it just might not be what he wants to spend his money on

which is also fine and if it's not something that like if it's a date that like sure it makes like you happy or whatever but like a relationship i think is also about like finding things that you both mutually are into and not like oh tit for tat okay i'm gonna do this thing that you really like that i fucking hate doing but because it makes you happy but then we're gonna do this thing that i really like and it just goes back and forth in a way that's like you need to find some sort of middle ground right and you it's also you don't need to pay for him you can just split everything all of the time and i think like rom-coms have made this idea that like oh like the guy paying like that's so romantic yeah like that's but like it doesn't need to be at all and

if you want to be financially taken care of which i'm not accusing you of and it's also not a bad thing to want that just also has to be on your list of things that when you're going into a relationship that that's something that you express very early on and like that weeds out your selection process but at yeah guys in their 20s uh or anyone in their 20s it's no one's responsibility to uh not that i'm saying that you are saying it's a responsibility but like he's allowed to spend his money however he wants to and if you genuinely want to spend your money on dates for both of you then do that but if you're doing that because you want him to do it back stop doing that yeah i would say like i mean maybe maybe the love language here is gifts because that's two things

that we've gotten highlighted um i don't know i agree with you i think if it's definitely like you want to be taken care of in a relationship like you do definitely need to like look for that um i don't know if i'm getting that from her but yeah i really can't tell it's so hard with like yeah i mean she just bought her a town she just bought a townhouse i don't think she's doing okay taking care no not at all i think it's more along the lines of if you're someone who likes to like financially treat other people then do that but it just right but it's obviously it's hurting you that he's not doing that back so i don't know if you're getting joy by doing that and that's the only time that you should do what i mean like if i'm gonna spend money on my friends and i'm gonna

take them all out to dinner that's because i want to i don't want it to be like okay now i'm waiting for your turn to kind of do that yeah and it it and it yeah it shouldn't feel like that like you should feel good doing it yeah i'm very much in turn like i don't even think of it as transactional i like seeing and having like equal commitment within the relationship so that could mean financially that could mean emotionally like all that kind of stuff um so i guess like i don't know if it is a little bit gender normie to be like whoa he hasn't paid for a date like what's wrong with him like that's oh but that was my original reaction um I think maybe for you it sounds like it's not um he's not investing in the relationship like obviously in this one it's monetarily but

like in general you don't feel like he's investing in the relationship as much as you are so yeah like you said maybe having that point like that clarifying point of like how do we want to approach dates like i really want to see like you don't have to say this following up to that but like i want to see that he's invested i want to see that he cares and i'm not seeing it right now and so i just want to like for you you have to figure out what does seeing that look like and then for him it's like that can he rise to that or adjust to that or fill that space in whatever way um yeah because maybe he takes maybe you take you guys out to dinner and a movie and you pay for that and then he can't afford that and maybe it but it it might not be about like

oh him paying for this kind of stuff maybe it's then him planning a date that like you go on a picnic and like it's something that still has the time and energy and effort put into it but it's not it's it's something that he can like if he's like struggle like like strapped for money it's something that it has the same amount of like effort and energy and like uh thoughtfulness put into it it just doesn't cost that much but yeah best of luck let us know how it goes and um congrats on a conco oh my god like fuck dude like these guys have their lives together dude do you guys want to be my life coaches do you know how many of them have fucking like babies and husbands and homes and i'm like why it's fine i'm 30 and i'm renting an apartment

it's whatever literally i'm literally like well it's cool i don't even have a dog yet there are people who've called in where we've like recommended like maybe you get a dog and they've called back so i got a dog i'm like fuck i don't even have a dog yet like in the time from one year i was like i want to talk we've been talking about it we're gonna do it oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh i'm ready fucking ready yes is it time for don't yes blame them don't blame them don't blame them she's a listener she said um yeah she knows i know i watched that episode with keith i fucking love also can you like introduce me to the try guys for sure except Eugene. So this is where you guys call in with your own advice from previous episodes. So

roll the tapes. Hi, Megan and Melissa. I'm calling to give a little bit of advice to the girl in the episode with Becca Tilly, who was afraid to go to the gynecologist because she didn't want to talk about it to her parents. So, I was kind of in a similar situation. I was 23. I needed to go to the gynecologist, but both of my parents are pretty Southern Baptists, and I'm on their healthcare. A little fun fact, though. Your healthcare, you can make yourself the only person who gets the bills and the information, even if you're on your parents' healthcare, If you're over 18, you just need to call your health care, tell them that you do not want any of your medical information given to anyone else, and they will only send the bill to you, and they won't notify your parents, even though you're on their insurance. So, pro tip.

Or you could just do like Megan and Melissa said and just go and leave them the bill anyways and just hopefully never bring it up. But either way, good luck. Oh, my God. Pro tip. I didn't know that. Me neither. i'm on my own health insurance so it's not helpful for me but i know damn same um that's so funny i literally just watched that episode you're talking about when you came in yeah oh yeah yeah god wow

that is i how did you find that out like did you go did someone tell you did you google that like that's like an information thing that i'm like i don't know but we are all more empowered for it yeah thank you caller i get so many dms all the time but people being like how do i like go to a certain doctor without my parents finding out like no no at all but now there's this that's crazy but also it's just if you live with your parents it just has to be the same thing that i used to do before report cards would come um where i would like speed fucking home and me and jerry um was always really great at school so like she never had to like speed home and throw we would actually force her to throw away the report card because it was otherwise she would fuck up our

whole storyline of being like oh report cards aren't here yet and we would just have to like race home and be like you have to be the first you just wait at the mailbox we were very different kids in high school oh yeah well you're you and cindy are both cancers you're like no you've got great grades all of that shit again charisma got me not really any did not get me into good colleges but you had like you have more fun stories than i did for sure but i i mean yes to a certain extent but also you know it's not necessarily like i don't look back on i'm like wow it's really really glad i did all of that stuff uh but that's a good pro tip though i like this i also grew up in a very southern baptist family so i understand yep it was a whole thing thankfully i didn't try

to go until like right before i got married and my parents were like okay we understand and i was like okay yeah you're like oh for sure yeah for sure okay well that's it for this episode kaylee thank you so much for being on oh my gosh okay i feel like i had so much therapy this week like this was like you have like i mean you obviously don't live here but like you can't come back as often but you have to come back oh absolutely good advice really i feel like i like therapy worked yeah a hundred percent sometimes i do feel like when we have like people who are really good at answering questions i feel like i've had like an additional therapy session this week oh my god that's such a good compliment i really appreciate that you're clearly wait yeah my therapist would

Love you. Do you think Kaylee would be my star pupil where I'm over here being like, this is bullshit. I'm over it. Can we just stop? But tell people where they can check you out on the internet. Oh, hey. Okay. So I'm Kaylee Melissa, K-A-Y-L-E-Y, Melissa on pretty much everything.

I mostly post on YouTube. Got a lot of hair tutorial content and I'm on Instagram. I've got Halloween coming up. It's going to be a real fun month. You guys, this is the time. if any if anyone has not followed you yet this is the time to be like you go hard oh i do you go so hard girl i've already been filming halloween stuff oh my god yeah wow i don't even like halloween i still watch but um if you guys want to be on upcoming episode you can leave us a

voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com uh follow us on instagram don't blam meme pod and our own individual instagrams uh you can listen to this if you're not if you're watching and if you're watching go uh listen it's all linked all of the things if you're listening i make a lot of really insane faces reacting to these calls so have fun well hope you guys enjoyed and we'll see you next time goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso part of the her pod

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