Don't Blame Me! - S4E22: Lily Marston - He Showed Me His Sex Tape

Episode Date: October 28, 2019

Lily Marston is here once more! We’re answering your questions on what to do if your co-workers ignore you, anxiety while dating, knowing if a guy is into you, and handling your roommate’s smelly, creepy boyfriend. In Don’t Blame Them a listener shares their advice on having confidence while giving a blow job.  Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @lily_marston www.instagram.com/lily_marston  @dontblamemepod www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,’ PLUS exclusive bonus episodes. Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Don't Blame Me.

Lily is currently, if you're watching this, taking a selfie for her Instagram story. You know, I haven't posted in a long time. In like literally 15 minutes. Well, no, like besides today. Oh, for sure. Lily Marston is here. Hi. Back by popular demand.

You always say that, but like, I'd like you to show me one comment. okay okay for sure oh thanks guys i need the steam boost the the listeners the podcast do me a solid because the people that they request no offense to you and acelyn they pick the easiest people for me to get on the podcast i mean you've canceled but like you live here like we're friends yeah and you live here and it's also like a fun experience for me and so i feel really like you don't ask that much i've only canceled once no no i had asked you but you kept saying you busy okay then you okay and then you can't yeah yeah you've been busy that's okay they also didn't respond to some of my emails as well that's i don't emails are not my no my forte um well guys

if you're new here this is an advice podcast if you want to leave a voicemail for an upcoming episode you could leave us one at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com so um shall we get into it yeah give some fucking advice hi megan melissa and guest so i am calling about two guys that i work with um my team at my work where i work at um consists of six people not including my boss um three are male and three including myself are female um now um two of the guys I work with are younger like one's like 28 27 ish I think and then one is like 23 so both like super young guys were very very nice to me like when I had to come in an interview and like talk to the team everyone was super nice including

these two guys but all of the sudden it's like if I try to talk to them or like talk like just anything it's like they completely ignore me and i have no idea why i never say any i mean if we have conversation it's very casual in my like where when my between my team it's nothing where you know i'm spouting you know anything and everything like i think and feel it's just very casual um i mean i've done nothing to warrant anything i mean it's like the point where like if I'm going to the elevator to leave they will walk past and take the stairs and not acknowledge me like if I say something directly to them it's like a really short response and then like just avoiding any other confrontation at all costs and it's just bothering me at the sense of

I don't know what I've done to deserve this I don't know if it's just like they're like not mature and like don't know how to talk to like females in a professional setting but then they'll go and like talk to other females like it's no problem and it wasn't a problem before until like these last two months so like i know i haven't i haven't said anything i haven't done any like ill things i mean i've rarely talked to them but again when i do a small talk but i mean it's kind of the point where it's like i am very uncomfortable at my job with these two guys because i'm like what did i do to deserve this kind of treatment am i overreacting probably am But at the same time, it's just like, I don't know what I did to be ignored like this.

And it's not something I'll want to bring up with my boss just because I just don't want to make any more trouble out of this small group than I need to. And I think it would just draw more negative attention to me already, which I, again, don't know why. But any advice you have would be great. I just, it sucks. Thanks so much. I'm going to be level with you. you did something i don't know if you didn't like they are interpreting something you did or they there's something happened it it seems like not even something specific but it changed

in two months she said two months ago it wasn't like this that's when they all started working together well then they just got to know you and didn't like you honestly like i hate that you don't you sound like a lovely person they're obviously assholes and very immature like if they're avoiding you and taking stairs and stuff that's why i think that like you don't do that if they just don't like you well and that's like them like getting together and being like let's show her it's super intentional like if i like let's just say and i'm saying hypothetical let's just say that you were just annoying which like means i can be very annoying why are you laughing i'm saying like no one would go out you wouldn't go everywhere like if i'm around someone annoying

i'm not gonna like do you mean like or it's innocently annoying if i don't like you that's the only time i'm gonna be so fucking petty and ignore you and it's gonna be from a thing yeah i don't think this is just like oh you guys don't mesh and they don't get along because that's extreme so i think like you're you you're saying that you didn't do anything i mean it could just be like a miscommunication they could have heard like they thought that you said something bad about them and they heard something like that or maybe they misinterpreted something that you said or that you did or it was just like a rumor or something and it could be just a total misunderstanding but also like also at the end of the day it's your job so like first of all don't

go to your boss because that is just gonna make you look yeah i mean then you're stooping to their level because apparently they're that immature that they're like a grouping together to ignore you but then i think if you go to your boss then it's gonna be like oh the girl that's like going to tattle because like the boys aren't being nice to her yeah like no don't set yourself back by doing that just go to work yeah i think the best like if you want to ask them i think you would just have to be direct and just be like hey like what's going on like is every like is did we have some miscommunication like i thought like we were all cool like a couple months ago i don't know like what happened um like just like let me know like i'd like to fix this if there's something to

fix or if not like i just want to get an answer um and you can do that and i think regardless of if they say something that it is like oh we thought this happened you can set the record straight yeah or if they're just like nothing then it'd be like okay cool whatever and then just move past it and you work with them they don't need to be your friends and you don't have to stoop to their level and like completely ignore them but i think the at least for me when i find i get so fucking frustrated and i'm so this poor when i find out people don't like me that i like or that i have no issue with and then they hate me and i'm like oh you you fuck you i'm gonna hate you more like i can't believe i wasted all this time and energy and once you can kind of get down

to the bottom of it to like stop trying to get them to like you if they just don't like you and you can just know that and then be like oh cool i i'm not gonna fucking try because it's it sucks when you're putting that effort in and you're trying to get people to like you and they're they're they're not getting it back but if you get like a just a solid answer then i think from there you can make okay cool like you're lame whatever i'll move on yeah and it sounds like just yeah weird situation and i i don't know yeah i and also like do you even i also think like at this point even if it was like a misunderstanding i also wouldn't want to friends with these people because i'd be like yeah why are you like so lame and like this is

weenie shit yeah that's like literally middle school like yeah and i'm like okay i don't want you to be my work friends yeah and if you even you said that it wasn't like super deep stuff it was just very superficial like surface level conversation that you're not having now um and if that's the only interaction that you were having with them it doesn't sound like you have to like be like have all like that's like you go out of your way to have interaction so i would just say like be like okay cool just not gonna like talk to these people and just do my job the only other thing and unless i'm forgetting anything being mentioned on the call that like maybe one of them thinks that she's like likes them or something oh my god that's so elementary

i know well i truly are acting like weenies but i was like i mean we've clarified that so i'm just trying to think of like what kind of weenie yeah like what what's provoking them like do they think she's annoying or do they think that do they like one of them have a crush on her that's yeah but then like the whole group's like oh we can't talk to her I don't know it seems so like whatever whoever these people are and whatever their motive is who gives a

fuck because they're a bunch of fucking weenies what do you guys do like oh I think that me oh yeah just like show up and do your job get paid and go home yeah like why is there that much time to be I don't know no but I think it can be frustrating if someone like suddenly shifts

their behavior and like I get thinking that you did something wrong but i think this speaks so much more of them and also if you had done something wrong like actual mature adults who you'd want to be friends with would talk to you about it not just like get past the question like it's not even i don't know they're not even worth your friendship so i i say cut your losses but if you want to get down to the bottom of it in person and get the reaction because i also it doesn't seem like they would be expecting that if they're immature enough that they're and if you're confronting them in person don't be like hey uh i'm like super sorry to speak so what's the deal like you can what's up guys you can talk to them

like they're being a fucking bunch of weenies like it doesn't need to be like you don't need to come about it in like a oh i am like like oh like well look at what you've done like they're they're being fucking idiots you can talk to them like they're being fucking idiots they are and then yeah i i think i think you'll be fine can you imagine though if this whole thing like she like slept with one of them and then like didn't and then slept with the other like there is a thing that's there well that is someone else's from some another it's true but no other i think that her only the question besides like what why are they ignoring me is just should i ask my boss no no no absolutely not unless it's like significantly interfering with your work

absolutely not yeah that or hr but yeah which like is there an hr for a six person yeah they just sound like fucking weenies and you don't you shouldn't want to be friends with anyway agreed fucking lame ass weenies should we go on to the next one hey megan um i'm 20 years old and i've been in one not even serious relationship when i was going into my senior year and it lasted like two months three months and i seriously have not even like I've hung out with guys but I've never been on like serious dates or been in a serious relationship since then and uh I have this like I'm not a fear I'm not afraid to talk to guys but I don't know how to approach first dates and how to even find someone to go on a first date

i'm extremely shy um and so i kind of i went on one first date and um i wanted to vomit um i am terrified of first date and i was just curious on like advice um i don't even know how to explain it like how to date like how to approach going on a date with a guy um if that makes any sense and most people are just like just talk to them and i'm like um how like i'm not sure how to initiate conversations with guys or how to approach guys um i'm in college right now but i'm in a community college so it's not like i can just go to class and find a really cute guy or go to parties because there's not really parties you're just shy i think that like yeah you just you and sorry i'm

like literally laying down yeah um yeah i mean speaking as someone that has never had an official boyfriend but also someone who is lily is you are the exact lily is too comfortable on first date literally it's a problem and that's what i'm saying like that you are the perfect person for this because of the fact that like you have the exact opposite i'm trying to think of the conversations i even have i think i just like like the last one i went on i was like i sat down i was like probably 20 minutes late shocking dating app right oh yeah that's how do you meet them dating apps yeah i didn't meet anyone in class i mean i met people in class but it never went anywhere it'd be like i was in love with them and then they had a girlfriend yeah and they were still

in love with you they just had a girlfriend yeah i think you need to approach it um you didn't self-identify as being shy and i think sometimes people can have like they think about when it when it's in regards to like romantic and like relationships it's like different than friendships but it's not like it's it's the same way that you would like strike up a conversation with anyone whether you're sexually attracted to him or not you don't go about i don't think you go about it in a different way like i go about getting to know a date the same way i would a new friend or someone i'm just 100 and i think you need to take like the the romantic pressure out of it and the good thing about dates as opposed to like friendship dates is that well it depends on the friendship

date but i guess guys i feel like usually will like ask or at least it depends on also yeah if it's a good date or not i've lucked out not had like bad dates it's just like maybe i didn't like them that much but they'll ask you a lot of the questions so it's like you don't even have to think about what to talk about because just answer the question yeah and if you match with someone on a dating app you already have that oh you are already attracted to me you see something in me that you like awkwardness out of the equation of like oh does he like me well it's like well he's on the date so at least he likes how you look yeah and and that also takes out the uh approaching someone factor because i also um would not that would be like the only time it would be like it

would be a master plan like if you saw someone you're like oh that guy's cute it would be like oh other people would be involved yeah oh my god like my college orientation later who i was like oh my god he's so cute and i couldn't remember his name and then found his name and then found him on facebook and then i was like oh my god he's so cute and then uh i my i like asked my friends when i joined sorority if they knew who he was and they were like yeah we do and then they dropped me off of his house and then we dated but like it was do you don't do that no but i'm saying like that was like that was like three months like i met him like met him in the summer and then that wasn't until I started school but like I don't know unless you're meeting I think you

meet people that you date the same way that you meet friends um and I think that if you're not comfortable approaching people that you just see like on campus and be like oh you're cute I like you I don't feel comfortable doing that like I feel like I'm a little too awkward to do that do people do that that's what I'm saying like so yeah I don't think anyone does that yeah you don't have to that doesn't have to be like the way that you meet somebody and also like it's not I I also think that you have to take a little bit more control when it comes to your dating life and not wait around for someone else to like hopefully come up to you and approach you so i think dating apps are like a great way to do that and also you can message and talk to people

a lot first and then get that kind of like conversation going and you can talk to people who you're not even that interested in but it can like help you get more confident to then talk to people that you are interested in totally and also i feel like i'll go in like waves of like getting in the mood to date that i'll be like i'll like have the energy to have like a bunch Because it is going to be kind of, like, conversations that maybe aren't the most interesting all the time. But then I feel like out of, like, five uninteresting conversations, I'll have one that I'm like, oh, they're really funny. And I'll, like, find myself wanting to keep talking to them. And then we'll hang out, like, two days later.

So we've talked, like, a little bit. But also I would recommend not talking too much ahead of time because then you don't have anything to talk about once you're there. Yeah. But, I mean, talk to the people that you don't have intention of meeting. Yeah. but maybe talk to people that you don't have as much like intentions on like meeting up with in person like leading them on man i mean fuck them i hate when people use they're like no you let me on i'm like no i didn't i did we just were having a conversation but don't say like oh yeah

we'll meet up later but like you know what i mean like you can just talk um but yeah i think you need to approach it like friendships because um when when you ask your friends like oh like i don't even like know how to talk like i don't know what to like say you have friends like you talked to your friends you've like yeah I yeah there's not like a secret dating language no and it's just getting to know someone and also like maybe I think what you should probably look for uh in like and you can decode profiles and see things like I think you should probably would be into a guy who is a little bit more outgoing and a little bit more like confident not that I'm saying you're like not confident but like someone who is going to be so you're

not on a date with someone who like also has no idea what to kind of say I think that you figuring out if you're like and also just really depends on like the kind of person that you're attracted to um and you'll see like that'll be like oh where'd you grow up like literally just like think like think about like the questions you have to answer for a dating profile those are like like oh where'd you go to high school like what do you do yeah it's just any sort of getting to know you small talk and then from there it gets into like things that you talk about that are different than you might talk about with like your friends or things like that but like the first date is just small talk and first dates also aren't like amazing always they're not always

like really fun it can be kind of like clunky and awkward and like an interview but then it's the more you get to know somebody the more comfortable you'll get i was and it can go from being like kind of awkward and uncomfortable to like completely comfortable within like five minutes of getting there too so like don't be like don't let your nerves like don't think that that's going to ruin everything because like he's probably nervous too yeah i used to get so fucking nervous on first dates i hate like i would like i had to be drunk like i was like this is awful i can't do this it's stressful same but no you're too comfortable yeah i was like same for the drinking beforehand but you didn't drink no i did i was like but not because i was nervous just

because yeah life yeah no i would be too nervous i hardly remember what's nice first date i mean i remember but i was just like it's pretty fucking wasted but he didn't know also doesn't count no you were over do you remember that shut up you brought me the alcohol shocking but like do you remember that though because he like i was like no i'm not gonna hang out with him okay and you're like no you fucking are and then you brought over alcohol and then you were here when he got here and then we i answered the door and then he was like you were like okay i'm gonna see myself out and you're like hi bye she was drunk yeah no you were drunk i was drunk i don't you brought me vodka no no i asked you to that last thing i think if you want a specific not sponsored but

you want a specific dating app but i'm thinking of like if you're like kind of shy and don't want just like creepy dudes that are just trying to hook up then i've had the most luck with hinge and it also has questions so you can kind of like gauge their personality a little more rather than tinder which is like something like don't even have a bio yeah um and i don't even know what else people bumble yeah i mean i was i i think like hinge is a great one bumble maybe not because the girl has to reach out to the guy so like maybe that's not your thing i think that could be a good exercise for you is on dating apps messaging the person first and then just seeing something that's in their bio whatever answer they have for like favorite movie or

something like that and then making a little bit of a joke out of it that i always think is like a great icebreaker because it's like hey i read your profile it's not just hey in that way and i think like you can get a little bit of confidence there because also if also imagine like they don't respond for like a week you can just delete delete it and then pretend it never happened that's true not the app them specifically delete them from existence you know but i think yeah you'll you've got you'll you've got this you've got friends too so maybe also group hang would be a good idea and also dates just kind of like first dates also should just really be not awkward so it's not just what does that wasn't there an app grouper oh yeah i think sydney went on that

group i never did it on to the next hi megan melissa and possible guests i have a situation that is honestly not super interesting, but I could still use some of your fabulous advice about it. I am 26, and I'm wondering whether or not a guy I know is interested in me and whether I should wait for him to ask me out or just do it myself. Some background, I just got out

of a very toxic, quote, relationship, unquote, a few months ago, and about a month before that ended, I went to a friend's party, which the guy I was with was basically ignoring me, so I ended up flirting with a couple of other guys that night. It was nothing too overt or crazy. I mean, what I said to my ex about it when we fought later was crazy, but that's only

because he made me feel like a crazy person. Anyway, forgive that hint. He's not important to this issue or to anything else. One of the guys who I had flirted with a little bit messaged me on Facebook like two days later. It was super innocuous, a comment about the TV show we had chatted about at the party. Still, I kind of thought, oh, maybe he kind of wants to get to know me better. Fast forward to after my ex ended our thing, I was back on Tinder, and I saw the acquaintance

on there. I fled left because I would feel weird swiping right on someone I sort of knew, but our town is small enough that I know if I saw him, he'd also saw me. A few weeks later, he randomly messaged me to invite me to a small gathering he was hosting. I had been invited to large backyard parties

at his house before, but never to like a six-person hangout. I went, but we were watching a movie, so we didn't talk that much, and I didn't really have the opportunity to feel a divide with him. About two weeks later, he invited me to another similar event, going out for drinks with a handful of his friends i went out of town for almost a month right after that since i've

gotten back i've run into him a couple of times and then a mutual friend or rather someone i used to be closer with and now don't really talk to invited me to this guy's birthday party which was a fairly small event where there were no remotely close friends of mine so i can't tell if he just wants to be my friend or if he's into me i feel like if it were that he just wanted to be friends it would feel more organic not as though he suddenly making a concerted effort to get to know me but he really isn't coming on any more strongly than that there's no super obvious flirting but he does talk to me and seems like he's glad to see me but I just don't know what to make of it all some of my friends say that I should just ask him to go get drinks with me

but I'm hesitant to do that because I'm not even positive whether I'm into him or not obviously I'm at least interested in figuring that out I wouldn't be thinking about this at all but I don't want to make things weird if I was wrong about him being interested in me or if i end up not being into him because he is part of my larger social group what do you think about am i being a baby by not no i'm not making a move could he be shy and that's why he's not coming on stronger slash is this his way of trying to make something happen or am i being delusional thinking that he might use me just give it to me straight thanks guys oh my god girl you're so fucking clueless oh my gosh you just um literally the last thing we just did ended with me saying

if there's when you're younger I think you're constantly like oh I don't know does he like me is he interested and I think that's never the question it's whether he like wants a relationship with you is the question later but that now I'm like if there's any guy that is an adult that's showing me any kind of attention he's interested yes like they're not looking for friends no no as someone who is friends with straight men they uh they didn't necessarily want to be my friend yeah i like happens yes but and i was like it was proximity and it was like me being like oh we're gonna become good friends but like they and it's usually work related or something and it's not like i'm gonna go out of my way to invite you to a six-person movie hangout or my friend's birthday

was it his birth someone's birthday he's making up these like six first of all a six-person movie hangout no no that was a fake date to then bring you over like they all knew he get he's making he's making group hangs to get you to come and this is his way of showing that he's interested in you and he's taking these little steps forward and i don't think that you're reciprocating in a way that's making it look like you're interested he i think feels probably friend zone so then he's just being shy because he doesn't think you like him but i don't think that means that you need to be like hello i'm in love with you we need to define the relationship but like say like invite him to go get drinks or something do something alone and that doesn't necessarily have to be

like do you want to go on a date with me i'd be like hey let's go hang out and then like yeah see what happens and it doesn't have to be like if you don't like him that's fine after one fucking date there's no strings attached when i'm going to drinks and that no one even said it was a date so you could pull the like oh my gosh i just thought we were yeah and there's no like that's that's a miscon like you guys also aren't good enough friends for it to be like oh if we go out that means that we're boyfriend girlfriend like when mons mons and i started dating like we were dating casually but also we had known each other for so long that it was like oh fuck such a bad example no but i mean if i say yes i'm saying it means someone we had known each

other for so much longer you guys aren't that close yeah and to be honest you swiping left on him you're right he did see that and i promise you he swiped right on you so he's thinking oh you're not that interested so he's kind of keeping you around as much i i think he might not know that she saw it no i mean i feel like you like it doesn't show you everyone but no but if it's like if you're active on the app that's what i'm like okay well i mean all i know is again mott's and i'm brought a date he i swiped left on a dating i swiped left on him and he like brought it up and was like oh yeah you didn't like you didn't match with me like i swiped right like you definitely you could say that you didn't match with him that you could

be like oh i didn't see it but like but i think he's probably gonna take it as a oh you definitely saw and i guess it also depends on like where they are in the proximity of like how many people yeah in la that's not i don't i feel like i would not see everyone i've seen a lot of people i know yeah i have to and i and even was it this person or that no that she said she didn't want to make it weird i guess i've had that situation where it's like maybe if there's like a little like maybe there could be something you don't know whether to but i usually just do it and kind of like make it a joke but like it's a joke that like could be a flirty joke yeah i think you can uh like if it's like a group hang at his place or something like that and like or a party you

can like offer to like oh here let me help you clean up when people are leaving or when you're there actually like treat it and flirt with him like don't just show up like he's already kind of made that move by inviting you to something so then when you get there it's like sit next to him or like strike up a conversation with him he's like he's created this circumstance in which you're together and then once you're there take it upon yourself to like actually like make a connection with him and then that's the way you're also going to see if you like him because i think you're also torn to see if you like him or not is because like once you get there i don't think that i think you're just kind of treating it like oh it's like a group hang like it's a casual he's

trying to get to know you more and i don't think that you guys are getting to know each other more and you should but i think you're right i think inviting being like hey do i do you want to grab drinks and you don't even say like hey do you want to go on a date it's like hey like or saying like a concert that you want to go to find something that you it's like an activity so then it's like maybe not as like you can talk but it's not like required that you're talking the entire time and there's something for you to yeah get distracted by or if you have other mutual friends and being like and you can say something big hey like me and a couple of my friends maybe if it's another friend that he might know but then a couple friends that he doesn't like oh we're all gonna

to go bowling do you want to come and then you'll be the only one who really knows him so you're the one kind of bringing him in so it makes you guys kind of hang out more yeah but a hundred percent you are you asked if you're being delusional he doesn't like you no you are being delusional but he does definitely isn't you yeah or is is is trying to get to know you more so like he thinks he might be into you yeah and i think you just need to kind of meet him where he's at i think he's been putting forth all this kind of stuff and i think it's not that i'm saying it's like falling flat but i think he's having a hard time being like okay i'm trying i don't know if she's into it and so i think that's why he's not being more up front and forward and so i think that you

should yeah try it out and if you're not like super good or comfortable with making it known that you're interested when you're in person i feel like texting and stuff is such a way to like let them know that you're like i feel like i've had guys that like maybe there wasn't that much going on in person but then they'll randomly start texting me all the time and then we're like casually texting every day then it's like they're not casually texting a bunch of i mean i hope they're not talking no you talk to them for so much time no but um and then you like can kind of like develop a rapport there and then yeah the next time you hang out with him if you send like and then there's like inside jokes that maybe exist that then you can like have this kind of

like little flirty relationship even if you send him a text that night after you guys all group hangout or the next like afternoon i think that's pretty clear to show that's what you kind of do after a date and so if you kind of treat a group hangout in a date in that sense of being like hey like thanks so much for inviting me i had a great time like hello this funny joke yeah i think that's like a great way because i mean for me when i was going on dates that's how i would also kind of tell how into someone how someone how much someone was into me based on like how quickly afterwards they were like haha look this this funny thing that you were talking about it's my favorite to see like what kind of leaps i'll make to be like this happened oh my god how do i connect to all

No, and I used to do that in high school all the time. But I think if you can do that, even after a group hangout, it kind of shows him like you're turning your LinkedIn light on. You're like, I'm a little interested in you. I learned about that recently. What? There's a light that you put on on LinkedIn, I guess, to say that you're looking for a new job.

A light? I don't know. I think it's like a green dot next to you. Got it. Got it. The light. Yeah. They don't know.

Sydney has a friend who works there. And they were talking about it. I was like, well, that's cool. Your light's on. It's like a cab. You mentioned it in quite a few. actually i got with a guy from college who originally reached out to me on linkedin and i responded was like do you usually hit up girls on linkedin and he then dm me on instagram it was

like or he texted me and was like hey uh no i don't that's so fucking funny i was like i don't even check linkedin i don't have a real job yeah i didn't even know you had one when i had a real job before yeah that's true but you only had like one you're at the same once your linkedin was just i've been here forever that's funny no it's just like cannot be found yeah 404 um well i'm excited for you this is like a good call like sorry dating yeah no but do you mean like we usually get ones of being like oh no if there's like so many fuck boys and in the scheme of it like this is exciting if you want like a really good success story which like don't compare it all to this but like audrey said that um matt her now husband started just and audrey never had a boyfriend before and

he's just like he went to the high school next to ours and they like knew each other but not well and he just started like liking her pictures one day and then she like started liking his back and then she facebook messaged him or something and i was like why are you on facebook and she was like i think they like started talking a little bit and then he like randomly text her when he was drunk one time out at a bar they like hung out it like didn't go that well because he was wasted and then he like text her another time like a week later and they went out and then now they're married and they're so fucking cute it's adorable they're so fucking cute but it was very much like he i think they hung out a couple times that he would be like come to my friend's thing come to

this and she's like is he interested it's like yes no it's it's it's you're like you're you're like i don't know i don't want to call it like like a soft version of that kind of stuff like that you i used to do with moths all the time like or i'd be like oh like oh my sit uh my friends in town and we're like all going to this bar and then it was like if you want to meet us up he's like oh for sure i'm like guys we have to go to a bar like i think everyone get dressed now like that's the shit that we would have to do um so i think that yeah he's trying to create these situations and you know he's like he's he's pitching it like enjoy that yeah yeah it doesn't always happen okay it's time for a break guys and we're gonna be right back

okay everybody we are back from our break and we're getting to the rest of the calls hello i'm just calling because i've been having some issues with my roommate i'm a sophomore in college and she's one of my good friends freshman year so we live together which is obviously always a mistake and i didn't really see anything going wrong because she's a pretty laid-back person and so am I. However, over the summer, she started dating someone who is not only her previous boss from her summer job, but is 22 years older than me and her. He spends a lot of time in our dorm room. It's just kind of creepy. He clearly has really bad intentions with her and he smells really bad. I don't really know how to bring this up with her because technically she's not breaking

and university rules but at the same time it's really uncomfortable to have someone who is the same age as my father hanging out in my bedroom do you have any advice please let me know thank you wait so do you live in a dorm fuck that's small that's not not allowed wait is there a common area or is it just like two beds and like a debt like desks because if he's hanging out there i don't think that would be allowed only if it's after a certain time i think depending on where you are because like mine eva could come in and then after like 11 we couldn't have visitors and they're in a week you have to sign in did you have to but they wouldn't have to sign in no they would just come in with you yeah i know i'm trying to think i don't think there was any kind

of regulation on yeah who's coming or staying or you know that's right i'm so sorry that's really gross i feel like the most uncomfortable for me is that he smells dude same that's what my brain i literally was just texting with sydney about this about she was on the bus next to someone who smells she goes i feel so bad but like i need to move and i was like move dude there's nothing worse than someone who smells it's overwhelming and you can't talk to them you can't have a conversation like it's all you think about yeah and it's impossible and it affects how you like are taught like how you look at them and you're just like and you're not listening to anything it's just terrible yeah i think if you live in a dorm i think you have absolutely do they still

live in a dorm or wasn't it she said that they're in their dorm yeah i think you have every right to say like hey this is my like if unless there's a common space and he's hanging out in the common space like sure that is also kind of hard but i i do think that there is a little bit i don't know i i i would kind of just be like okay fine then i'm just gonna stay in my room but if you're sharing a room i think you have every right to be like hey fyi like uh i like happy for you that you're happy but um i am i'd like to keep our room like a just for us kind of hanging out thing like i don't really want having like visitors in and having him in and i get that you really like him but he's also 22 years older than you so i'm sure he has a place he'd rather hang out than a dorm

i was just gonna say not to mention he's fucking old like what is like an apartment house anything yeah and like that's where she should want to hang out like that's i would think that you would want somewhere like a way more privacy and then like and if he doesn't have a place alone and he's 22 years older than you then i am concerned yeah which i mean i'm concerned in general same but which like yeah yeah well you know yeah it's yeah it's just it's a weird relationship and i think like your friend knows that like everyone thinks it's weird i don't think you need to be like hey fyi i'm like this is like weird he's old like she knows like she's choosing to date him and i wouldn't fight that because that's just gonna make her resent you but yeah just maybe

it's gonna be awkward regardless honestly you're gonna just have to confront her and be like hey um he's great but i want to keep this is this is my room too i want to live here and have some alone time yeah and i want to breathe yeah yeah and i'm cool with you like i don't even need to bring up the odor no if you can just get him to not come as much and then it's not and then even if that means in your case that you then don't bring people in your room like you guys just keep your room for just you two and just say that as a new rule and even if you before has ever you've had like guys in your room or something like that just be like and if you hook up with a guy whatever sickle sweat to your place and you're like no my roommate and i have this new rule

where we can't invite people over because she has a smelly old boyfriend so like i can't bring people over i'll go to your place so just have it be that and make that the new rule because yeah i just think like otherwise uh it's just gonna come across like really judgy when she already knows like she knows she knows what she's doing um and him smelling is like gross and whatever but yeah i just think that like i doesn't she care that he smells maybe she gets like turned maybe it's a pheromone for him and i just wonder i'm just i'm really curious what his living situation is because i like yeah my freshman year i dated a junior and i slept in my dorm or one yeah one of the guys i dated was a junior i slept in my dorm never well i wasn't gonna like

you don't do like it's so weird to bring another like you're gonna sleep in the beds aren't comfortable and stuff so it's like i would like please take me to your have like a like you're not are you gonna fuck right next to me in the which we had jocelyn jocelyn was on when there that was an episode but like that's it's just super super super odd that why like why would you choose to have that and then even if you're like watching a movie it seems like it's like that he doesn't have somewhere to go or that like she likes being there so he's like taking one to the team but like no too bad you don't get to no ew and i that's just so creepy that you'd feel okay hanging out around a college then you're that much older that also gets across like pervy

vibes i literally went to a zed concert that was 18 and over a couple weeks ago and i was uncomfortable i was like there are children here yeah i went to what did i go to where everyone was i went to a bar and it was all children and i was like i hate this and once like they're all probably your age i'm like they are well that's even yeah that's like a college bar i'm like oh my god yeah oh you're old let her live her life and um turn on find my friends for both of you guys so you like know where she is yes smart what safety she can also talk to her ra because they're like trained in oh yeah you could also just have your ra be like hey my ra definitely would like he would play the like bad guy between us and be like hey so and so's can you really tell

them not like can you be like okay hey it just seems like there should be some kind of rule at least like even in my apartment now there was something in the lease that's like if you have someone sleeping over consistently for uh like a few weeks then you have to like get approval or yeah what yeah that's on mine too if they're over the if they're there over like a month i think then they have straight on the way it's straight oh okay so it's like if your boyfriend was just like basically living with you yeah wow okay so i feel like if that's in like an actual apartment like i feel like that would happen in a dorm but like more severe yeah because like you're on like your college is like liable for shit yeah and that's just super super super weird um like if

you're entitled to like a safe comfortable living situation and you like weren't friends with your random roommate and they had like an old dude staying there like fuck yeah no that's super weird hello megan melissa and a possible guest i am a 24 year old from good old north carolina that part doesn't matter um but i have a question i am an aries if that helps with anything um i have been talking to and casually seeing this guy that i met on a dating app um we get along really well we have a lot in common the sex was super great um but lately we haven't been having sex due to a medical issue on his part which is fine because i like just hanging around with him anyway, but we were hanging out the other night, and he was trying to find this funny video to show

me on his phone, and he clicked on the wrong one, and it was sex with his ex that he kept, and I was wondering, should I be worried about it? I know that it's casual currently, but we have talked about the probability of it being more and what we were going to do if that came up I'm not super sure if I you know should be worried about it because now I'm just thinking about all of the things that she could have been doing that I'm not doing I just don't know I honestly just now please please give your advice love you guys so very much thanks in advance i'm curious what his reaction like what his like hot take recovery was i don't feel like it was an accident i don't feel like are you looking at your phone you see that tiny preview you know what the fuck that

like you guys are stupid i don't know i don't think why would that's a weird situation to put yourself but like you yeah no it is true but else it could be like uh would you be down to film myself having sex like i i don't oh that's what i kind of i didn't even that was like not even crossing my mind because like if i look at my phone and i'm looking trying to find a funny video like how does the video like what's the thumbnail of it that it just looks like your dog or something on both of them okay yeah that's valid i was mostly thinking like when she said looking for a funny video i'm thinking he's like going through like youtube or something it was like who the hell or instagram funny i mean i guess it's like unless it's like it happened

into real life i guess um i don't know first of all um just because the you saw the video now does like if you didn't see it doesn't mean that he didn't have sex with anyone before that the video didn't exist so like i don't think you have to be worried at all like was it yeah i mean i guess it's like when he was like if he's like it's like favorited and he like yeah i don't know but like even then like if you're not serious yet then i guess you can't really no and i also think like you've been like well what is that girl doing in that like she's having sex in that video like she's like i'm gonna promise you it's not like she's like topsy-turvy spinning on that dick like doing some crazy cirque du soleil shit like we're going to assume we

didn't see no but that's what i mean like i don't think that i i don't think like it's not that he like it's not a porn that he was in that was like directed with like i don't know silks and like an aerial beam like it's literally a homemade sex tape but it's just what they filmed themselves having sex like that's because i'm also like you couldn't have possibly seen that much no also so it's like and let's break down the craziest things that could be in it maybe it's anal okay do you want to do anal if not cool no okay maybe some blow jobs okay that's possible it could pen it like just any like what could have been in it that would be like something that you like you couldn't achieve she bends her legs behind her head like i just think like it don't this is just

another this is a girl that he dated this is just another like it's any like you said like yeah and What guy is going to delete that off of his phone? He's had sex with other people before. It just so happens that this is like a video recording of it. And I also see like, yeah, what guy would delete that off of his phone unless he has a girlfriend who saw it and was like, yo, please delete this. I don't think that he would. I think you could probably find like old nudes of past girlfriends on a lot of guys' phones that like they're not interested in the girls. Yeah.

It's just like I my earliest like photos on my phone are from like pre nose job. like i have do you mean like you don't go i don't go through and delete stuff even though i've got like 55 000 photos on my phone but so no literally i don't delete anything either it's from literally 2012 lily has nudes on her computer of me i always used to joke that from the videos i would edit because she'd randomly just strip in the middle of them that i can put an entire sex tape together yeah she's really good but but alone solo uh yeah i don't know it's very uncomfortable and it sucks but i think the old like i don't even know what was like what just should you be worried no no no and i think it's probably more awkward for him than it like is for you and then if like

you said i do i am curious what his reaction to it was because i'm thinking about this time that i was at a baseball game and there was a guy there that was texting me but he was also he had like seen my instagram that i was there so he was texting me and i was with a bunch of my friends you send a screenshot well no he was like gonna come say hi so then i was like oh guys like this guy's gonna come over here so then i pulled up his um i don't know if it's like his no his facebook or instagram or something and it was open but then i like closed my phone and then he sat down and then i was like pulled out to show him something and his thing was up and i was like so that's so weird i don't know so like i think of how mortified i felt of just that yeah and if

this was not intentional I think he's probably still freaking out yeah and also I'd say if if the the sex tape part if it freaked you out in the sense that like that's not something you're comfortable doing that's also okay and if that's a deal breaker for him and the only way that he gets off is filming it no but then it's like I don't think most girls that's like something they're like super super down with so I don't know maybe not no but I'm just I'm just saying like I don't think I think like if it is a deal breaker for him and it is something then like then that's fine if you're not comfortable doing that that's okay deal breakers in general that just kind of weeds out the people that you're not supposed to be with like no he's not gonna if not

filming a sex tape was a deal breaker for a guy though that's like no but but at the same time then if someone if a guy said that to you be like okay cool bye yeah that's what i mean in the sense that like it's not it doesn't need if it matters so much to him and you're like this doesn't have to be something that you have to do if you're not comfortable too if that's also a part of it um which like it probably isn't that important no that's what i'm saying like i doubt that no i'm sure he literally has one and maybe and that's why it's like never being deleted it could have been his girlfriend from like six years ago and he's just like saved this one fucking video that is like oh but yeah i i just yeah i would i would i wouldn't worry about it in that sense

the only thing that changes the context is like if he was trying to show her i mean i'm not kidding the cynic in me was like he was like oh whoa like this is so like so crazy well i'm so sorry i can't believe i just pulled that up and it's just being like so what you think did you like watch it in its entirety was it 30 seconds like did it start with just black and moaning it's just black and he handed it to her and then she pressed play and was like oh and then he was like oh wow that's the wrong video oh my god i can't reach it he uses that weird he probably uses he uses that video is like a bookmark like he knows where that one is because they're all time stamp that's true yeah unless they're favorite videos just three up question how funny was it like i'm sorry there's

no video that's like seven minutes long that's funny so how long was this sex tape speaking of the time stamp do you know what i mean was it a clip from the set i don't know i just it could have been he could have edited it i would die using iMovie on his phone oh my god it's got swipes sarah and jonathan sex tape 2014 and the music comes up it's just oh my god it's just the royalty free it's royalty free like one that kind of sounds like southwestern yeah and then you hear the royalty free like audio jungle yeah bond five oh my god well so really what you need to do is get this phone get this video and see what it is no but i i yeah i think you have if you start dating him i think it'll probably end up going away and then it will just be a funny story yeah

that someone can tell you're running just big time she called into a podcast hey welcome you guys don't know us. We're pregnant Melissa. We're here with the bride. It's so funny. Oh my god. That's a Patreon tier. You'll come to your wedding. Oh my god.

Okay. Well, best of luck. Really what this is on this has inspired me that I should just film myself having sex. I'm really surprised you haven't. Oh, I thought you said really surprised I said that. I'm like, really? I know, right? I just love attention. It's exciting.

yeah i would think so because you're like performing for it and then you can watch it back i'm an actor i would never see it from a different angle yeah i don't feel like it would be something i would want to see back like i think i would be mortified and then also like who is the keeper of the video you have to use dslr because then it's on a card where so it doesn't get in the cloud like it never is yeah uploaded anywhere wow that's high quality yeah just like little like but can you imagine acelyn always like helps me film and it will literally she'll be like oh wrong one yeah don't ever do it on a phone maybe like yeah anyway too easy for a situation like this to happen

what if it wasn't on a phone he airdropped it to himself i'm so also also you don't if you didn't want to sex tape what if it's like terrible and funny so that was the funny video what if it was yeah what if it was the funny video just watching you have sex with some girl he's like dude how crazy like so crazy dude so funny and you're like for sure it's funny because he put it in her butt and i don't know it's funny because she shit it's funny because she bar it's funny because he shit oh my god we move on yeah okay is it time for don't blame them yeah okay guys uh this is where um uh listeners call in and give us their own advice from other episodes

so if they've experienced something personally i hope to fucking god someone needs to call in about the call we just did about the sex tape and finding it please please i would love to know more experiences like this yeah let's let's like we're gonna source for sex tape related questions well this is blow job related so great okay yeah so the episode where we gave those excellent blow job tips then i had a couple people dm me being like tried it out great review i also had somebody some people dm me and say that they wanted the advanced yeah i got some of those too it's great i've also had a lot of you guys which i i will say i love how comfortable you feel around me and it makes me really happy because i have an issue being overly comfortable people i

meet too soon i know i know sizes of so many of your boyfriend's dicks so my break hey his dick one girl actually a couple girls like yeah and he's a little curved so i'm like i'm like wow and then for her pleasure your profiles are private and then i can stalk or some of you will send me the handles of the guys that you're dating and then describe their penises and i'm like yeah i know you look yeah no i don't think of that the dick pic that you got sent that time that was like the one with the shirt yeah yeah i still never saw it truly you know what's so funny it's obviously not mox but it totally could like if i had kept that because it's literally a j crew like gingham button-down shirt and mox has that exact same shirt and i was like if i had kept this

Everyone would have thought it was you. Kiptees rank tighty-whities. Now I don't need to know what not to wear. I just don't want to. We need to move on again. I mean, anything's better than tighty-whities. No, I just don't want to picture the person sitting there. Tighty-whities.

Okay. Moving on. That's the only dick pic I've ever gotten. Did you know that? I've never had a dick pic from, like, someone I knew. That's unfortunate. Truly offended. I've never asked for one, but I, like, never got one.

Also, like, I'm not the girl you send an unsolicited dick pic to. Like, you'd be scared. Yeah. You know? Okay, I'm ready. Hi, this is in response to the most recent Megan and Melissa Eminem episode with the girl who had never given a blowjob before. All of your tips are fantastic, by the way. i i get bored really really quickly while i'm giving a blow job um so my tip uh for this girl

is to try to stimulate yourself while uh while you're doing it because like i don't know it i mean yeah the first time she's going to be focused on doing that but like once you get the regular motion of moving your head back and forth it gets boring so what I like to do is sometimes I will

you know place a vibrator between my legs and then I find that I give better blowjobs when I am you know enjoying it myself

so maybe that's something for her to keep in mind as well um yeah that's all oh my god i love how awkward you feel that sunday no that's a good call i mean yeah i think that's great stick a vibrator between your legs as you do it i would get i can't i can't i have to focus that feels like it would be very distracting truly they're like and like i'm yeah i'm just yeah i would be like i'd be i'm so much more committed to this than i'm gonna be to this yeah no i think i think that's like a great call though if you're if you're getting bored while you're doing it but yeah do you want to know what i thought she said what i thought she said while you're doing it just i think she said finger yourself or she says stimulate stimulate

oh i thought she said sing to wait well that's a high school and i was like oh my god megan would have done that me justin justin bieber mistletoe was literally like in high school but i was fucking bored and wasted long enough yeah i would just be like let me go through this song in my head that's not the tune of mistletoe but you know or any song no i i guess it must have been around christmas time actually when did that come out santa only comes once a year wow mrs claude's like fuck you um you said she doesn't though no that's what i'm saying like she's saying fuck you to you with your orgasm she's she's good she's got you know nevermind nope eject candy cane

candy cane um yeah i think this is this is this is a great tip uh i would also say if you're going to do this um know your partner well enough um to know if they would want you to let them know that's what you're gonna do so they don't just hear a vibrator as you're like because for me i heard like a vibrator like not if i was someone else not related i'd be like is someone weed like what has happened like what is this no like well they are yeah they're whacking um but yeah i think this is this this is great and we really do love how many you guys have you guys loved the the blowjob tips from that episode and wishing you all

good wet sex. We love wet. Good wet sex. No one wants dry sex. Stop it! Also, in that earlier call when the girl said they weren't having sex with the medical thing, do you think he also ripped his dick?

In my head, I just was like, oh, did you hurt his back? No, you can... No, you stole some. No, do you think he could rip a dick? define rip no rip and we've been we've been told it's a lot of blood a lot of blood it's not crazy i don't know wild things we learned a lot of things here too i learned a lot i feel like every time i come yeah i've been learning i've been i've been learning that's the end of my

continuous education don't know what's continuous okay guys um well that's it for our episode uh lily plug your shit i was like would you like me to do it for you yeah okay um lily has a youtube channel the little's channel i'll upload to it soon hopefully if you just google her name lily marston you'll find it all on instagram there's not that much on my channel but um jocelyn and i have a shared channel so you can go on their shared channel yeah there's at least one video a week um that'd be great if you could go subscribe check out our instagram yeah it's riveting content it actually needs to post those um you know those pictures we took on the balcony of that house oh yeah it's like jack and rose but um you're naked yeah yeah kind of not really but

Follow me on Instagram. Check it out. And if you guys want to be on an upcoming episode of Don't Blame Me, leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. And international listeners, you can send us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com. Check us out on Instagram, don'tblameemepod. And stay up to date with Melissa and I on our socials listed down below. And below is wherever you are.

If you want to watch the video or listen to it, check it out. All of those different things. You can go to our website, don'tblameemepod.com. And I'm going to burp. So goodbye. don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso part of the her pod network real canadian superstore has everything you need this back to school season save on lunchbox savers

Like Ziggy's sliced deli meat products for always $3.75. And get Life Brand Pure Vita shampoo or conditioner for $8 each. At Real Canadian Superstore, when you're ready, we're ready. With a whole world and more.