Don't Blame Me! - S4E24: Guest: Claudia Sulewski (and Finneas) - Dating A Guy In A Band

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

Claudia Sulewski is back and she’s joined by her boyfriend Finneas O’Connell to share advice. This week we’re answering your questions on what to do if your friend thinks you FWB isn’t good for you, how to get back together with a guy that ghosted you, how to talk to your live in boyfriend about things that annoy you, and handling your ex that’s hooking up with your friend. Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @claudiasulewski www.instagram.com/claudiasulewski @finneas www.instagram.com/finneas  @dontblamemepod www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get tickets now. hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me if you are watching it's gonna be a mind fuck first of all obviously there's two people here but like i'm on the other side does anyone notice that i mean this is wild um but we have a repeat guest and a first-time guest so claudia slusky is here she's brought her boyfriend phineas hey thanks for letting me crash oh my god i love it you wouldn't know how many friends female friends i have who'll be like hey can i just like bring my boyfriend usually they stick them in the corner and then i just watch them the whole time being like oh is he like listening to me talk dirty stuff and it's very

funny i think it's a good exercise but are they usually off camera are they on oh no they're off camera so then i just look at my friends being like are you gonna be honest right now because they're right there oh yeah yeah but this is like can you this is just so funny and he gives great advice that i sort of just forced it upon him last night no i was like well i have to i have to do this thing at one come with me that's my favorite thing about having a boyfriend or partner be like oh i really have to do this thing would you like to come uh-huh do you want to come to the dmv with me exactly do you know how often i am like hey would you like to come and do this um and not really into it but yeah we recently went to the orthodontist together we did yeah

oh yeah but for mutual mutual benefit we both are getting Invisalign oh I tried to get one and um it turns out that I have um a misaligned jaw that needs surgery and if I got Invisalign it make it worse and I was like oh okay but I was really excited so before you found out that yeah I really wanted it because my teeth are moving and I'm like that's what's supposed to happen when you're 26 but well I have this one one of my teeth is like farther forward than the others and if it never if it never was gonna move yeah i'm not vain enough that that bothers me but i have friends that like are 30 that that it's moved and i'm like i don't want to be that way at 30 yeah no but i fully i fully get that yeah so i kind of want to get that dress or tree

yeah that's fun yeah i'm excited yeah i did the whole process and they're like you can't have this and i was like what the fuck can you give me my copay back they're like we're gonna check if you're eligible for this yeah yeah like that's right it was an audition here's my money do it yeah i was like can i have my 75 back but cool um okay so this is an advice podcast if you guys are new here also this is me it's just me explaining to phineas um and it's called don't blame me and uh you guys call in and you ask us advice and if you want to call in for an upcoming episode the phone number is 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com so we're gonna listen to voicemails and give some fire

ass fucking advice hey megan so i am melissa and guess so i am 22 years old i'm a senior in college um so here's my issue so i've been like low-key chasing this man to like just be friends with benefits for and i know he's like into me and um i'm like a very like open person you know ask me anything i'll fucking answer it good bad or indifferent and i told like this girl who introduced us that like because he she told me he thinks you're so funny and cool and cute and like he's interested in you and then i was talking to him he's like i don't want a girlfriend now is it great because i don't want to date someone have all that relationship shit anyway so then i told her that they wouldn't be like friends with benefits but like low low key

and she went off on me and told me that like if I did that I was like a bad person she told him like not to like fuck around with me and all this shit and I was sitting there going I don't understand like are you into him you know like you told me to go after him and then we start hitting it off and you told us not to long story short this man and I finally had sex last night he's a great guy he low-key has like a three and a half orange dick which isn't bad because he did other stuff which I feel like that might be TMI but I listened to your podcast I know it's not um and it was great it was fine and like we did it and like I think we're planning on meeting up again like in two days but here's my question am I a bad friend for like hooking up with this

guy like am i a bitch or is it just i don't know like why does she care anyways um please i have a sister please give me some like real talk you can call me a bitch if i am being one um yeah just let me know thank you love you guys you have a sister as a sister okay okay okay so it's very obvious the friend is into him otherwise she wouldn't you know be as invested but here's the thing or they're just judgy is he worth it because it doesn't sound like you want to be in a relationship with him and he wants to be in a relationship didn't he say that yeah but she says you chased a friends with benefits which is not how friends with benefits work no the fact that the whole thing was like i was chasing this low-key friends benefit thing and then the the sort of paramount

part of the story is that they had intercourse yeah that should have been the the preempt of this whole thing right right yeah and he has a four yeah an orange a three and a half orange dick he's a cheetah dick i am i is vehemently a word like i am hard for him yes whatever i am opposed to friends with benefits with small dicks like if you're having a friends with benefits like that's a baby arm like this is like you it needs to be like good and great and like you don't not like you don't gotta settle no especially if you're not trying to commit to anything and you don't chase front like friends with benefits happens like you're drunk at a party you hook up and you're like oh fuck yeah we'll do it again we'll be fine sure whatever but like it's not

being consequential yeah and i think something that is they won't explode and if it's chasing it like yeah i can't be it can't be controversial it can't be any sort of drama around it i do think that like i'm a person who like i will take things that people say at face value if like you're going to tell me that you don't have feelings for if i like approach you and i'm like hey it seems like you actually kind of have feelings this seems a little odd and they're like no no i'm fine i don't then i'm like okay cool then i'm gonna take your word for it because you're not gonna be open and honest with me like i don't think it's your responsibility to coddle her and to like yeah i shouldn't take her cues if they're telling you something like all right i'm gonna believe you

exactly but i don't think like i don't know it doesn't to me this just seems like unless like you go to like an incredibly small school and like you have nobody else right it seems like a little bit inconvenient three and a half four inch school yeah orange an orange building it's just i have a sister that was my i was like i have a sister please i have a sister oh as a sister which is funny but yeah i just think like i think if you're enjoying it like that's like i think it's fine but at the end of the day like a friends with benefits is supposed to be just adding to your life it shouldn't add any it should be just adding positive stuff not adding drama so if it's adding too much drama i say like find someone else this feels like too

big of a deal like a too big of a you know well yeah stress i think i think if the if the other person paradigm wasn't a part of this like your basic rule of thumb for shit like this should just be like that you have to be on the same page yeah like if you're if you want something the other person wants the same thing that's always cool but if you want something and the other person is being honest and expressing that they don't want the same thing you should be respectful of them and yeah you know that's that's being a decent person but i think the fact that this is all involved with like a friend of yours is more complex and either they have an ulterior motive or or they're incredibly judgmental and opinionated and neither of those are like super tight so you

have to have like a more honest conversation what's worth it yeah about what they are after yeah and i also think you have to figure out uh i don't think i don't know you don't chase friends with benefits so i think there might be a part of you that like could see something potentially more with him and maybe settling for the fact that he's saying like oh no i don't want to think oh yeah no i don't want to think like sarah taylor but like maybe it's like well not right now like right to keep it cool yeah eventually try to exactly this is like a devastating call if he's also a listener of your podcast oh god i am waiting for that day you should know how many dms i get of girls for like i'm hooking up with this guy and he has a crooked penis here's his

instagram for reference like is he posting his like his penis on his instagram i know kind of see it i know you're looking at a dude you're like i literally yeah they give i love them because they give us so much information so much and they'll sign into our dms of being like hey i think my boyfriend's cheating on me will you message him from a finsta and i'm like oh my god i got you we're girls looking out for girls oh my god and gays there's not a lot of straight people straight guys listen to our podcast mostly it's the girls and gays the girls and gays that's why they all feel safe but yeah i just think like i would i would cut your losses if i i think for me the most successful friends of benefits i ever had three and a half four

yeah it's a small loss circumcision yeah it's just snip snip snip snip so yeah find an easier friends benefits or just let the dick fall in your lap that's when a dick falls in your lap yeah it's not a relationship dick a friends with benefits dick falls in your lap yeah you don't need to work for a friend's benefit no it's you wear ugly sweatpants like you don't have to like cue you're just like yeah you fucking bounce yeah my um friends with benefits uh in high school his ringtone i gave him a special one and it was uh bedrock so every time it would ring i'd be yeah i was like you outside my window right now i'm not gonna hop in your car for sure it's right to the point yeah it was yeah it was easy i wear like spongebob sweatpants and i was like i'm

of a shit it clocks you in really easy you gotta go exactly um but best of luck should we go on to the next one hey megan and melissa i'm 23 and i'm currently dating well hooking up with a 29 year old me and him have known each other for about a year we did a show together a year ago um and during the show we were definitely like flirting and there was definitely major chemistry between the two of us um and then we went out on a date after the show closed and he ended up actually ghosting me for almost the remainder of the year um and then earlier this year he reached out and basically explained his side of the story and I was kind of like okay cool like whatever yeah he was really hot yeah he was like a great guy and I was really interested in him but

like whatever not a big deal but he explained that basically what had happened was his friend basically said that I was too good for him um and he had never had someone like people close to him tell him that someone was too good for him and so he listened to them even though he really wanted to be with me he really wanted to see me so we've been at like we've gone out on dates probably least five times since the start of this year it's just because our both of our schedules are so crazy and hectic that we literally have only gotten to see each other probably once every month um but I did end up sleeping with him I lost my virginity to him um and I really really like him Um, it's, I guess my question is, I want you to take things to the next level with him.

I want to be kind of in, like, be in a relationship with him and only be seeing him. Um, but I don't know how to go about it because of the fact that we have only been dating. We've only gone on five dates. We've hooked up twice. um there really isn't on paper that many like times we've gone out but we've known each other for a year and a half and we are very very close and we just have similar views on a lot of stuff and just a lot of things in common but how do I go about I guess taking it to the next level for our relationship because i really want to but i don't want to scare him off

i don't really know what to do help please also any sex advice that'd be fantastic this is too early for sex advice the sex is great but i still have no idea what i'm doing thanks i'd like to hear back bye okay so what is she asking advice on on how to nail down a guy who doesn't want to date her i'm so sorry i think the thing here's the thing okay just to clarify his friends said that you were too good for him that didn't happen according to him that's a lie do you think maybe they were like she's too young for you you know what i would agree with i would agree with you except that they're in the theater community oh my god you're you're right you definitely might have friends that are like she's too good for you but what does that even mean

that's but that's not like can you imagine saying that about a friend you can't you cannot you cannot the spring is coming up you must focus do this maybe it's the first maybe it's the girl from the first call who's being like no actually like date me instead i just don't i don't know for me i don't i don't buy that line it's the same time my friend was fed a line that like the guy had a micro penis and he was like i can't date you anymore i have a micro penis and you're better than that and i was like did you see it and she was like no i was like he doesn't have one you no dude has ever admitted to that

if they really do yeah so I just think that like and he's probably he's probably packing he's probably like with his other friends like yeah

fucking told her out of micro fucking baby arm yeah I just think that like this guy wouldn't you're gonna meet his friends eventually

do you know what I mean it's just a weird thing that like to me this just sounds like no offense okay and I understand that you lost your virginity to him so I really

want to be sensitive to this to me it sounds kind of like a line to like hook up with you as a ghoster you don't ghost someone that you have feelings for if he's that much older

he didn't lose his virginity to her no yeah you know and i he definitely was doing something else and then came back again as someone who ghosts i've never ghosted oh yeah we're we're this is a ghosting podcast welcome seems like a liability to have a podcast and ghost and ghost no but i have a boyfriend now but we're very public about it we've had a boyfriend for years yeah but i did also try to ghost him but i didn't i didn't okay here's a question you don't know someone you like though i don't know if you ever ghosted someone and then came back to them no but yeah it's like how

serious can he be if he was able to ghost her for so long and then be like psych just kidding because that's not what are you up to because that's that to me i'm like that's not the only time i would do that is to like hook up with someone again like if i ghosted someone it's never like oh i'm having all these like regrets if you ghost it's because you are like a cut and dry person like i know i don't know like totally totally no yeah not worth the time it's not even worth me breaking up or ending it like so there's no that makes no sense to me and also like what guy has ever been like oh my friend said that she's too good for me so I'm not going to pursue it so I'm going to ghost

her like if it's like oh she's too good for you then it's like oh but she's into me I'm going to fucking get that like that's yeah I just think like you if you want to shoot your shot with him which like I'm I mean it's not personally my thing I'm like a save face kind of thing but if you want to shoot your shot and just be like hey I really like

you I would like to like be monogamous and be serious you'll get your straight answer from him but like there is no advice I can give you to like get this guy to date you I just also think those are like shit like that like as as cliche or unappealing as this answer might be like monogamy like stuff like that needs to be this thing that it's so clear that you both want oh yeah you both need to be like i think we you know yeah but you should like the more you should

like someone because they like you like that's like that's my point i think i think if you go like i i want to be yeah i don't i want to be in a relationship with you i want this to be like a real no one else thing and the other person is anything other than like i completely agree then you shouldn't do it because they're going to be unhappy that you're you know and even if they agree to it they're going to be unhappy and you don't know them as well then because i also think like the kind of reciprocated feelings like you can like have like the pining love for someone but until the person someone loves you back you're like oh i didn't know what that was like like that was not like i didn't actually love this person i think the same thing with feelings

like you can someone doesn't have those feelings for you even if they like settle and like we'll be like okay i'll try you shouldn't be able to feel that towards them because like it's unless it's that you're on the same page it's not you're never you're also never your feelings aren't going to grow because you can see i have a sex tip for them oh god don't have it i do i have a sex tip for them what is it i think communication i think if she's like two times in i think just like and not not i think like really specific communication i think she should feel able to like articulate exactly what she wants what she doesn't want and feel free to ask questions because she's probably less experienced than he is talk about what she's

comfortable what she's not i think communication comes into play way later than most people um should be talking with each other that would be my sex too yeah yeah i also just like want to know how long you masturbated for for the fact that you had sex twice and it was great like what you must be an earth maybe he's just really no you know he knows what he's doing a horseback riding gymnast yeah she's a soul cycle every day yeah so funny that's so strong thighs strong fucking thighs i think this you guys need to have a conversation yeah i think i think you have the conversation if you want i mean i would also say just like take this as a two-time sex thing it was fun walk away from the situation because like but i think you probably

are gonna want some like we hate the word closure but like closure but i think also you shouldn't I am big believer in you should say your feelings because you want to say them because you need to say them not contingent on what someone else is going to say. Yeah. So like, I'm never going to tell someone like, oh, I really care about you, but I'm only going to say that if I know you like me too. But it's like, I'm just going to say it. Like, if you feel the same way, it doesn't matter. But like, I think there is no like, quote unquote, scaring someone off. Like if they feel the same, you have to say how you feel the same if you feel this. And then if they feel the same way, otherwise you're already so much farther ahead in how you feel, they're not going to catch up.

so like say how you're at where you're at and either they're there too but like if you wait three months i don't think the response is going to change like i just think you have to say it now yeah and then you got to take care of yourself yeah and i think that there's plenty of people that you could date that won't ghost you first and again as a ghoster like i tried to ghost i didn't work but like you know he's been on the other side yeah so i think like i just think that you deserve someone who like i don't know what like wants to be with you the first time around you know he's gonna prioritize playing jean valjean over over you anytime his friends are gonna be like jasper she's too good for you how many you only get to play javert once in your life

and he's like i what if what if is he doing the spring music she's the eddie redman g or amanda seyfried he's like you know i also this all i'm doing in my head is taking back to the time that i had a crush on a boy in theater and as i am an adult now i'm like he is so gay 100 so gay and i just didn't but i was like we were just best friends yeah i did i i did um i did musical theater and i was in ballet class growing up fucking killed killed my straight friends who did ballet with me they were like i'm crushing and every girl big no so he's i'm like no i'm telling you fucking straight fucking straight they were like no yeah way i was his wingman i was like a wolf in a fucking like shepherd's outfit yeah and it's like you've never pulled

so many bitches wearing tights you're like how how i am not in the best form and i am getting whatever i want i feel like those tights have to sculpt your muscles and really just show every again there's only ones it's like i had any glutes at all yeah they're so tight yeah that's it it's a it's a good time suck you in okay like kim kardashian yep me and kim so much in common uh so i yeah best of luck um shoot your shot and if not call back in and then we can like give you yeah heartbreak advice i wonder what his name is jason jasper jasper it is i think that is a good one quentin oh my you're just that is the straight guy who i did ballet with really yeah i think or my friend hooked up with a guy who did ballet named quentin cool i went to school with a bunch

of kids with that one yeah did you grow up in california yes okay i grew up in california i like weird kid names you're just like speaking oh yeah clinton you have like you know kids named just like idaho a lot of augusts oh my god i love that name august it's a great name it's my but wait it's your were you born in august are you in august leo or july july baby oh my god you're almost harry potter is it don't i know it we just saw the harry potter play i don't want to talk about it i saw that on your parts i don't want to talk about it unbelievable you tweeted saying like doing something except something and someone thought you were pregnant and i thought you were going to harry potter and you were right and you were right and then i saw it it's it's so

good i don't want to talk about it it's really good i want him you have to both in one day for sure yeah yeah matinee sunday evening okay hey megan so i've been dating my current boyfriend for a year now and he's super great super sweet and very talented and he actually just joined a band. So he sings and he plays the guitar. Um, and they have some shows booked in the future and I've been very supportive of him so far. And I think that's really important for me to do. But one thing that I'm a little bit concerned about is girls. Um, he's not, he doesn't have a flirty personality and he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him, but I just know how attractive guys can seem to girls if they have any type of musical talent.

And I guess I'm just concerned with girls hitting on him or messaging him over social media, or I guess just trying to pursue him without me knowing or also just in front of me. I have a lot of trust issues and partially that's because every relationship that I've ever known someone has ended up cheating on the other person and I know that this isn't super valid and it probably shouldn't alter my way of thinking about him or the way that I perceive our relationship I'm just no women and I know that sometimes unfortunately they they're not always super respectful of the girl that's in the relationship with the guy that they may be interested in and I'm just wondering how to deal with my feelings of jealousy

and also if someone's hitting on him in front of me what I should do I'm scared mostly and I also just want to know how to continue to support him and how to respond to that the best I can as his girlfriend thanks so much love your podcast bye so that's so sad wow it's like so weird do you guys like release this question at all just a little bit um well we have i we have a similar setup where you know venice goes on tour a bunch and i'm not always there but you're making beautiful instagram stories when you are there you know what i mean they're so good they're so good and like youtube videos are like very high oh she's always been like this i believe it's she was better at it

than all of us from the beginning it was like so dumb and annoying and i was like i'm not i'm fucking done like she's if you watch her early videos they're not nearly as embarrassing yeah i think she could like that's what i tell him he doesn't want to watch my old videos oh no she's just he doesn't care about like the past really he's all about the present and the future yeah and i'm like babe you should watch them and he was like do you want me to i'm like yeah my editing was fire then it's fire now you should see what she could do with iMovie like 2012 iMovie yeah fucking crazy i feel like she could edit like a like a movie that she was only involved in the editing of and it would be the best okay back to the question um so i think something to give you

peace of mind is it sounds like your boyfriend is kind of starting out and from what i've seen just through well maybe not i don't know didn't it kind of sound like he's getting into it they've got a few shows planned exactly so ominous and just hearing stories of like phineas's touring experience especially in the beginning like it's not a glamorous thing where you have all of this downtime before and after shows to like talk to fans and whatever like he's probably setting up his own gear he's like moving things around like can't you attest to that that like if he's an exhausting thing starting out a he's like lucky if anyone's coming to the shows right let alone let alone hot girls of your concern and your age true your age and and yeah it's it is like you

know mostly he's gonna be focused on like doing a good show probably i mean you know we don't know him but but yeah a lot of starting out it's just like just like stress and like working your ass off that's probably pretty preoccupied and he'll and he'll miss you yeah if you guys have dated for a long time he'll just call you all the time like lonely that's not like a fun yeah i mean it's fun but it's not like a yeah rage every night unless your boyfriend is like bradley simpson from the vamps or and he's in a boy band and it's all like single guys right it's okay for me to say this bradley's a friend of mine i can make fun of him i i mean i think like you brought up the fact that every relationship you've been in before or relationships that you know of it's all in like

there's been cheating and everything and that like and you're saying like you don't want that to influence it it's going to like that's a real shadow bag 100 and i think like regardless um of him being a like musician or anything like those feelings of like that's trauma that's like nervousness and that stuff brought up that like no matter the relationship you'd feel like this if you were dating a guy who like worked from home like you your mind would be able to find that yeah like and i i don't think that you need to like i think you need to cut yourself some like slack in the sense that like this is also like a healing process for you and then communicate it with him and it doesn't need to be in like the oh you're a rock star kind of way it can be like hey

i got cheated on my past relationship and like it fucked me up like don't do it if you're gonna do it just break up with me yeah it like really makes me nervous and here are the things that would really help me to not spiral and to not feel that way so like before your show if you could text me like if you could text me when you're done if we could facetime every night and like facetime all the time yeah and you have to and you can schedule that stuff so you don't leave that room in your mind to spiral because it's like oh this is a thing that we do and i know this and it's reassuring and i know that this means that he cares about me how do you let's so like that's i think the the probably actuality is that he's like starting out or whatever but

Like, how do you, cause, cause I'm not just starting out. How do you, do you have advice for that too? Cause you deal with it. I mean, communication is the biggest thing. I mean, I'm, I feel like it. You're not jealous though. No, I'm not. We're both not jealous people.

And also we have, we just have, we have such a strong foundation. It really starts at just the relationship and the core values and how much you care about each other because i mean outside of touring every other situation in life like i'm never worried that you would do that or you know that that you're interested in anyone else or if you were that you would tell me um and so i think yeah i mean i've never been scared of you know you but i think that's the that makes the i think the reason is she scared us because it's because of her history and i think you need to call or take that into account that like this is someone who's Sounds like she's scared of that because of that and because she feels that girls won't respect the idea that he's in a relationship.

And I was just talking about this with my friend James because we're both in really public relationships. And we were talking about how when you're in a really public relationship, people kind of leave you alone. Yeah, because they know. Because they know, especially if you seem incredibly happy. Maybe not if you don't, but if you seem really happy. like like i get very few like super thirsty dms yeah because i'm so public about like my relationship with claudia and they could be a fan a fan of that oh yeah and the amount of times like outside of a venue someone will be waiting and they'll say some really nice thing to me and

they'll be like i'm and i tell claudia i love her i'm like great you know yeah but i also do think that like there is a some people might not respect relationship but that's also but then you can't control that and that's also like you could the only thing that you can control to an extent is your own relationship and like what you can work with that and like yeah there are going to be like terrible bitches there are going to be like if there are they exist but it's not up to you to like prevent that or to do anything to them or say anything it's about like making sure that your relationship with your boyfriend is secure enough that like you feel that happens and like you might it's okay to feel like shitty and nervous about it but like let him give you his

word too yeah but you have to talk to him about it like if you just keep this in and like you don't want to and also if he's just starting out he'll be so flattered at the idea of you thinking he's just gonna like get girls and cheat on you so true like oh my god like what do you think i'm so hot so cool yeah but yeah and just and if you expressed him like your history with this stuff like uh and your triggers and all of that kind of stuff i think like if he's aware of that he obviously wants to make you feel like good and he doesn't want you to feel that way but it's also natural to feel that way and i think it's also for you figuring out ways that make you feel better and like things that you guys can do even if it's just like oh a text or like a phone call or

something scheduled so um yeah you can like feel that comfort even if he's not there at that current moment but yeah and i everyone i know who like dates guys and bands they're all i mean my friends band all of them are married and they're all just like it's just like the wives raging and i'm like okay well that's sweet but yeah I'm also like are you gonna have sex on a tour bus

oh yes that's so smart no but okay I mean yeah I'm happy for you but I just mean like with a random do you know what I mean

oh no no no I don't want the first time I have sex with someone to be like on a twin bed the second you're packed up you're on to the next city

it's a single there's no time to have a girl hitchhike and join the bus I know one girl who I won't out but she would like wake up in different cities

with like warp to her pants oh my friends and i refer to those people as warp tour thoughts sure yeah it's everything i wanted to be when i was pre-teen i was like i want eyeliner and i want to wear low-rise jeans and i want to be a warp tour thought she said it was like the worst like she would you know she'd wake up and like completely and often it was like a one-night stand and she'd be like just in portland and it's not gonna be that good yeah well and then you're like and then you're done and you like don't maybe want to see each other again and then you're just like in a completely different

zip code you're like how do i get is there uber here that's the most inconvenient one night stand ever yeah absolutely that's no that's i mean but i wouldn't have turned nick jonas down if he was down i don't think he was on warp tour no no but i was convinced me with my transition lenses that i was like he's gonna see me in the audience and be like let's fuck i'll take my purity ring off for you it never happened he's also afraid of me i kind of feel like nick is um uh when he wrote him and olivia copo broke up i made an instagram caption of mine saying everyone comment and tell like jonas that he should date me and then we have some mutual friends and she was like he thinks you're fucking psycho and i was like no nick thought i was because he commented on all of

his pictures date megan rinks and i thought it was funny and then i think it's funny exactly so therefore we're just not compatible because i think that shit's funny and if it wasn't funny to him no it wasn't meant to be and she's like yeah you think you've ever seen him laugh ever yeah yeah we don't have a lot in common he's very talented but i've never seen that man laugh i think i'm a joe girl now i watched the movie i think everybody should be a joe girl yeah i know i think well childhood like nick was my it was like the age like he was my age when i was like joe went and did like the most fun band ever oh my god so good so good and like sophie turner i'm like we can all be friends yeah so i'm just manifesting that into the universe

uh we're gonna go on a quick break and we'll be right back oh guys hey we're back from our break phineas had to leave um it's okay we forgive him um and now we have claudia who is obviously our always original this is where it all started you know literally yeah from fucking forever ago i think you were the first one that we had video we did yeah you were and we sat over there yeah we sat at the table it's fucking forever ago this is cozier i like this it is nice uh should we get some sickles hey megan uh this is oh i almost said my name let's not do that hi i'm 24 years old um i'm living with my boyfriend who is 26 he's a couple years older than me and he's basically 26 going on 45 so that's just the

kind of mindset we're in but he's still like a 27 year old guy um we're great me and my boyfriend we have next to no problems we're not perfect by any means like we have fights like anybody else but i think that we're really good on a lot of different levels i think what makes him different what this makes this relationship different is that normally we are very good at communicating with each other about how we're feeling about something if someone has done something that affects us, which is infrequent, but we're still, we're very good about communication, which is something that is surprising because I'm usually really bad at it. What I'm worried about is that I'm reverting back into that not talking about it and just

kind of trying to build a bridge and get over stuff phase. And I don't know why I'm doing it. In the beginning, when we moved in, we've been living together for six months. There we go. in the beginning there were the growing pains where we realized like finances had to be a discussion that we had and we knew how much the other made when we came in but then we had to discuss okay who's in charge of bills and all that stuff and that was a big conversation that we had to have as a couple and I think that one we were was which was supposed to be harder

was easier to be open about it like how I was feeling but now with little things like hey can you not leave your dishes in the sink for four days or hey can you not strip in the doorway of the living room and then just walk around the house naked i thought that would be nice like i just have an issue with he leaves the clothes in the door but the main thing is lately he's been scheduling things without me knowing about it and then when i bring up hey i like we can't do that at that time i'm busy he just doesn't cancel the things and like expects me to be able to accommodate it. For example, I'm on my way to our house right now because when I told him, hey, we cannot have the cable people come in and install cable that day because

I'm working and you're working, so we need to reschedule that. I told him this a week ago. He never rescheduled it and then told me today, hey, I got it moved to four o'clock if that's okay. no it's not but sure i'll leave work early and it's stuff like that that i just feel like i don't know how to assert myself with those kind of things but i'm able to assert myself with bigger things so what should i she's she reached her three minute threshold right well it really sounds like there are a lot of because i was going to give an answer towards like the emotional part of things is like the way that Phineas and I try to handle you know conflict and resolution everything is just approaching it in a way of like this made me feel this way

yeah instead of sort of targeting it like you did this yeah what you did was so rude so mean whatever you're this you're that just coming therapist would love that that's like her favorite thing it is a very healthy way of approaching yeah conflict is just being like when that was said, it made me feel unheard or small or whatever. Um, so I always like recommend that for sort of emotional stuff, but it sounds like there are a lot of, yeah, like schedule conflicts and things that like, you have to be teammates for that. You are living under one roof, like those needs and all of those conversations need to be met and understood. Um, what would you Sam I mean to me I have a thing about um uh like but boyfriends who come from families of two

brothers and then being the younger brother and that's my assumption of this guy I just think that like this just to me is uh it's not like malicious it's just he doesn't know like I don't know if he had a parent who kind of took care of stuff yeah or if his parents this was kind of the relationship they had where like he'd like take the garbage like not saying that he's not doing that but like he'll do like the schedule stuff but it's like oh but you'll be there right and maybe in your relationship earlier on like i don't there are some and i say so my best friend is like an extremely sydney hi shout out sydney she's an extremely accommodating person and it is like the greatest thing about her and also one of the worst things about her is because like she will nothing

is too big and like that she'll do it probably brings her a lot of stress yeah but like if you need her she's like the most dependable person ever like she never flakes on plans anything like that but at the same time like it's she's a like people will take advantage of that and then it's not like oh if for me if i'm like wow you're so accommodating i'm gonna be accommodating to you because you did this for me in this time that i needed you but some people will take advantage of that and i don't know if that precedent has kind of been said that like if it were i would say in regards to like the cable and stuff and it's really fucking hard again you're moving with i live with moths it's really hard when it's like you both benefit from it because like it's hard

just to put your foot down because you're like well i i want to get it done too like so like i'm just gonna i would say like the biggest thing i've learned and we've lived together for three years no three and a half years we moved together really early um but it's a relationship is not always going to be 50 50 sometimes it's going to be 80 20 sometimes it's going to be 100 zero sometimes it's like 40 60 me naming all the math i know how to do um so like there isn't uh it's going to be an ebb and flow sort of thing case by case and there's also a learning curve of you're gonna have to tell him to pick up his clothes and like eventually he's gonna start doing it but like he you're gonna have to keep doing this for a while maybe like he's had lived

with guy roommates before he lived with like a parent who picked up after him like and here's the thing too is like him leaving his clothes in the doorway whatever like that must be frustrating so like so frustrating to you yeah and it's bringing you so much stress that it probably seems so dramatic to like confront him about it but he's not even thinking twice about it he's like oh this bothers you it could totally be that situation where it feels like you know it's gonna and if he's comfortable living in more of a mess than you are and also if it gets to a breaking point for you where it's like fine i'll just pick it up don't like it's setting a precedent of being like you're gonna leave your shit here i'm gonna leave it out here and eventually because for him

he's not he's reaping the benefits of like oh i'm gonna leave my stuff here and then like because it looks clean and nice yeah yeah but if you leave that shit then it's like oh my god no i'm gonna i'm gonna fucking do this and my so matz's chore he does the dishes and there are times there's so many dishes and i'm like i want to do them so bad because they're so fucking messy but i'm like no i'm i'm gonna leave them and it's an eyesore and then he's gonna eventually do them right but i think like women tend to be a little bit more considerate especially and like if you've like lived with girls before as roommates like we can be conniving behind each other's backs but like tend to be a lot more like considerate of that kind of stuff so I think like this is gonna suck

but it's also not gonna suck forever like there is a learning curve with living with someone but you just have to stand your ground and say that and like the next time you schedule something for you can't where you can't do it you can't even if you can make it work and it's gonna make your life a lot harder say no yeah I can't do it I really can't do it I totally think with the cable thing it could have kind of been a lesson for you to be like I'm at work I let you know a week ago that this wouldn't work um so it looks like we're just gonna have to reschedule it because he could have left work the same way that you're being accommodating he can also be accommodating that way and he's not which isn't a bad thing it's just like no I have other priorities and I think like

it sometimes it's like not about getting the job done the fastest it's about no I'm gonna make a point like it's gonna be a lesson yeah and it's gonna be figuring that stuff out but it's it's a constant reminder and like just know that it's not malicious like there are times like we we had to get our uh dishwasher reinstalled and not schedule it for time he was like i'm like and he told me like the day before and he's like oh yeah by this way it's like three and i was like i'm not gonna be home and he's like what like can you switch it and i was like no i can't fucking switch it at all he's like oh shit okay well okay i can't leave work early so let me call and figure it out right there's so many more options and like if it like if you you being accommodating

doesn't just take that off the table for a while you can like maybe later on in the relationship you can bring that back and be like okay well now i'll do it because it'll make it easier for the both of us but there's until like you guys get into like that nice good groove yeah um and yeah i think moving in together is when you have those hard conversations yeah and i think like if you keep doing these things and you make him feel comfy yeah he's not gonna change anything about how you know yeah the way he works and how we whatever yeah so and he also doesn't sound like the friend who was like in charge of stuff when he if he lived with other people and so it is just figuring it out and it's gonna feel like awkward and uncomfortable and like and like yeah it's just

a lot of consideration like i used to i was always on who bought groceries every single time because i would grocery shop with monsters at work because like i i don't want to grocery shop like on like a friday night no and so i was like oh i'll just go tuesday but it became i was like why am i behind for all the groceries yeah and then it was like oh actually and he was like oh i didn't even realize that you're doing that i was like oh you just thought like food appeared in the fridge and he was like i don't know why i didn't think about it and i was like oh okay so like in my mind i was like annoyed with him for taking advantage but he was like oh i didn't even think about it he's like why don't we just go like saturday like sunday mornings every morning and i was like okay sure

that was easy we'll just go every sunday morning yeah that makes it easy and but it's you have to have those conversations because so much so much of the time it's not intentional totally but yeah and if nothing's being said nothing's going to change yeah and it's hard you i think like the first couple months of living with someone like it is it tests your relationship it's a huge huge change and you can think like oh we basically live together but no until like they have you have a shared set of you have keys you each have your own key and your stuff is there and that is where you come if you like want to come home from work to take a poop and it's that place like that's not you don't live together until it's that and then yeah it's a it's a it's an uphill battle and

you'll figure out if it works or not but best of luck yeah good luck i hope your cable gets installed i know also like task rabbit or have you paid a friend i used to pay my friend who like um when she was like fresh out of college didn't have a job um you're like can you house it for these people to come in open the door for them that's all the time every time because i had no time to do it back when i like was relevant um and i would be like yo so can i give you like 50 bucks if you just like stay here while the internet gets installed and she's like sure but that was the one that she was like it was rough because there was no cable internet she's like i just sat there and i forgot to bring a book i was like you just sat there for hours but yeah um best of

luck i hope your place is cute i hope you like it i hope it goes better should we go on to the next one hi megan melissa possible guest um i love your podcast so i'll just go ahead and hop right into it so back at the beginning of this year i want to say around march i ended my relationship of almost six years um i'm almost 23 so we were high school sweethearts and i mean it sucked but i've moved on since i'm with someone i'm happy he's great um but my problem is is that i got a text from one of my best friends the other day um who we used to go on double dates with I've been her friend for eight years and she said that he is now talking to one of her friends and I want him to be happy I want him to move on like I have no ill will towards him but this is

a girl that I know personally and I even opened up to her after I had ended my relationship about like how I was dealing with it things like that so I just feel like that's kind of against girl code you know and my friend is very like playing both sides she's known this girl for less than a year like they're not super close and like I understand not wanting to put yourself in the middle of it but she is very much like yeah well like follow your heart like if those are your feelings like go for it and I just feel like that's kind of messed up because I'm the only person he's ever been with and the only relationship he's ever been in so for the first person that he's like about to hop into a relationship with having it be someone that I know in my social

circle I'm just like deeply hurt by that and I feel like I don't know this girl well enough to reach out to her directly but then I also feel like it's just kind of crossing a boundary so I don't really know what to do in this situation I don't know how to handle my friends I don't really want to say anything to him because like we we don't talk anymore like i don't have any hard feelings towards him it's more so like this girl and the way my friend is handling it so if you could just give me your opinion that would be great thanks so much love you guys bye okay wait so the girl that's now talking to her ex she was saying they're not close enough for her to reach out to her yeah they're not friends but her close friend is like the mediator oh

who told her first of all that girl is the one who's at fault here you shouldn't even know this like i don't think no i yeah i i think that like if you and i think if a relationship is so important um that you should know when that person moves on it should only be from the person who's in that relation like should be your ex right like i think if it's if if you wouldn't call him and tell him hey i'm in a new relationship i don't think like to me your friend's starting shit you know what i mean like your friend doesn't need to like unless it's like a heads up of being like hey you saw something on instagram like but not like hey by the way like i told her to shoot her shot happening that sounds like a shite friend yeah it really does yeah um that's tough

oh that just sucks because you guys dated for so long and when you call it quits like that really means you're going your own separate ways and it sucks that he's in a situation where now you're hearing about it and you're trying to move on yeah you know what i mean so it kind of loops you back into this when you're like trying to not yeah which is a bummer too um why is the why is the friend getting so tangled into this you know what i mean that's what i want to know because it's also uh we say this all the time but like when you're going through a breakup like our advice is always like sever ties like whether if it's like temporary of being like hey i can't have any mutual friends with this person I don't want to hear about them like I need to it's not asking

a friend to pick sides and like I've had that before like I've been friends with couples who've broken up and I'm not picking sides and like ultimately but I'm like whoever is hurt in the situation whoever needs me I'm gonna be there for you like if someone else is like fine like you know what like I love you we're still friends but like you understand because you cared about this person like yeah I need to make this person my priority because they need me and I think like i don't know if you like came off as like oh i'm like fine this is all great uh but like i i think there is a thing i don't know i do kind of agree with a girl code sort of thing and not even in like a oh it's not okay for this other girl to date him because like you really can't control

that but like friendship wise she's not your friend she's yeah she's not your friend and even if it's like a they were in the same friend circle and like you knew her that's the thing that sucks about dating someone that you're friends with and you're intertwining your friend circles like it's pretty likely that they're gonna end up dating someone else you know because that's how they dated you and like you also might date someone in your same similar friend circle but um when breaking up with someone then it's about don't put yourself back in that circle because this hurts right now and like it if if it still hurts right now it means like okay i overestimated what i could handle and i need to take myself out of the situation and if that means that like if your

friend wants to like play both sides and like not create drama then be like okay cool i love you but like i'm not ready for that right now so like we're gonna have to take our friendship on the back burner until i'm ready for it yeah because like it's yeah it's there is no reason that you should have to deal with that as like and like mine like i've had like a good friend who and like i've gone through a breakup or whatever and if they were like my high school boyfriend and i we were in like the same friend group my female friends like my best friends like did not speak to him like did not look at him like nothing like that they would never and then i had friends one of my friends like friend group friends she went to prom with him and i was like okay cool

and i was like so i have this two like this difference of like yeah we can all be friends but there are people who are like in my corner even if it's mutual versus like someone who's gonna kind of go both ways and i just don't think if this is the first time she's doing it i don't think it'll be the last time that she's gonna do something like this doesn't make her a bad person it just might mean that like she's not all there for you yeah or just not self-aware and realizing how her actions are affecting you she probably hasn't had a ton of relationship experience yeah she's probably like hey like yeah that she's doing the right thing and giving you a heads up but she's just making it worse so she should you should just be clear with her like hey i can't

handle this so don't tell me anything yeah yeah and then whatever other mutual friends you guys have like i would focus on not those friends and like until it isn't awkward and painful and like as much as it does suck like yeah you can't control who he dates and all of that but i don't think that the people that you confide in relationship wise you're really close to should be the ones encouraging them to like date someone else you don't need to put yourself in that position no you know knowing that he's going to be brought up or that they're still talking to him and all that like yeah you're just kind of asking for trouble and it doesn't make you like not a cool girl like you don't like it's not it means that you had like a serious six-year relationship

and i also think if the table's reversed he probably wouldn't want to hear about you with this at all either yeah and so i think like just being really clear and then uh if you have friend and if your friend is kind of just like well i like i don't know i really am friends with both of you guys and that'd be really hard and it's like okay cool then like let's wait it out for a bit and like we're not going to be as close until like i'm ready to do that and like be okay with that kind of stuff because you should be able to like talk shit with your friends and know it's not going to get back to you like your totally and this stuff is all very like it's depend of course case by case it depends but it's it's it's not a gonna be a forever thing

life is so long and these different relationships that feel so you know it kind of they go in seasons and so there can be a point where it's like okay i'm cool now we're cool you know but i think give yourself that time and give yourself that space yeah if you don't fully get over it's gonna take i was i was the epitome of like oh i'm fine i'm fine and then i'm like three years later i'm like why am i still like spreading your ankle and continuing to walk on it rather than like letting it heal it's burning gold how old did you say she was by the way 23 23 because yeah because i would say also this incestuous sort of thing dies down in your mid-20s because like i fully like i could not find i had so many s like eskimo sisters yeah totally in high school and

then like same thing college that kind of stuff and like you guys are fresh out of college so i think like you're not gonna have to face this like more in life and like it's not it becomes like integrating like your partners friends with your friends and your friends partners with their friends like it's not something that's going to like be a forever so like it's kind of just like wow this is a shitty thing that's happening now but like i highly highly doubt it's going to be like that and then also if you are just have this one incestuous friend group maybe this is also a good uh time to like expand and branch out and like find a hobby and meet new people totally because this is a little it's a little high school-y yeah not like a like a bad way it's

just like i'd feel claustrophobic you know yeah totally it's just like too much i agree yeah plus you hook up with so many ugly people when your friend groups are incestuous it's so true because you have smaller options yes and you're like well he's funny and he's made out with all of your friends and you're like i guess well they all did it sure and you're like you're not hot why am i doing this the way i should be approaching my entire high school life i was like hi like it was also like youtube culture back oh that was high school on its own when you were on grace's podcast talking about like youtube and like playlist and like you and rebecca and i literally was like i was taken right back yeah i could smell our underage drunk breath and i was like i know

exactly what you're talking about that was so funny we all go through it we do i mean i personally didn't in youtube world but no no remember i was i i've always i'm always the wing woman i'm always that hey you know so and so you're the smarter one yeah but also i i hate dating the drug dealers oh i what no i dropped out of college no i wasn't dating any drug dealers at that point no but i think i was also um i was also like i don't know i'm very crude and i hate the whole like oh one of the guys things but like first a lot of i'm not the kind of girl that guys immediately are like oh i'm into you they're i'm the kind of girl they're like yo let's talk about like farting and like this other chick i want to bang i'm like oh my god yeah fucking tell

me right so i was always that so you'd be like hey claudia's hot i'm like i know water number that's true uh okay so now time for don't blame don't blame them so this is when a listener will call in with their own advice from like a previous episode so if they listened and they were like oh i really relate to that i can give some like personal advice so they'll give their own personal advice i love that hi uh i'm just calling back from um responding back to that caller who was on the most recent episode with lisa schwartz the girl who's saying that his um her fiance's a nurse and um there's that 45 or that 55 year old lady um i am going to be graduating from nursing school in about two weeks so i kind of know how nurses act on nursing floors and um i'm

just going to say that nursing is very team oriented um i see this all the time where nurses will be buying um other nurses lunch or they'll all get together and they'll order lunch or one of them will go down and bring up lunch for everyone on the floor so that I wouldn't say that's weird I would say it is weird that you know she was like touching him a lot but also there's a lot of older nurses that are just that way and um a lot of times nurses work together to complete tasks so it'd be kind of bad if you weren't like friendly or something uh but yeah that's just my take on it especially on night shifts where you're kind of a little bit shorter staffed and you kind of need that extra help but yeah I guess that's just my take from a nurse's

point of view um I would just say have a talk with him say like hey like I know that you guys all work together as a team but I just think it's weird that you know she was she's just always all over you I think that could be something I get why he wouldn't say anything or speak up because again you don't want to have beef with one other nurse and all of a sudden that nurse goes and tells everyone on the whole floor like oh this guy said this to me or blah blah blah I kind of ruined that um teamwork they have but yeah I would just have a conversation with him but it is not that weird for a nurse to be buying another nurse lunch it is weird that that she's kind of touching him but it is more of like a like a mentor and mentee kind of thing especially like a newer

nurse like even for three years that's still considered a beginner nurse so yeah that's just it thank you bye i mean blanket statement non-consensual touching regardless of like oh well that's just kind of no like i i and i i don't i don't want to like shit on your callback advice because like i don't know it's just a different perspective yeah it sounds like she's kind of confirming that like yes a lot of nurses are like this yeah but i think it can happen with any any job any job where you're working late or any job where you're working on a team where people can take advantage of their position exactly you know and be like we are you know nurturing this is just me extending a hand like yeah totally taking advantage of like the

atmosphere and the environment because i think it's like teamwork and working together as a team is so like different than like when bosses i suppose like a boss be like you were a team and then it goes into we're a family saying if you go to work and say like we're a family that's not okay because like right that's like oh i need you i need we're the same you need to give me a kidney yeah that all of a sudden like puts you on a whole different yeah it's taking it like you said it's taking advantage of like this system that's already set up of like teamwork and working co like uh together like that's a great thing but like if that pushes too far um and even if it is like a normal thing uh it's just like consenting to it it's like you don't if you don't if that's

something that makes you uncomfortable and makes your partner feel uncomfortable I think that's allowed and okay and I also think like I don't know I mean I I think like any regardless if it's like indoctrinated into being like oh this is just kind of how people are people were racist like you gotta say something like I think there's a a level of like understanding and learning and like we're learning I mean not to bring it to like me too movement stuff but like there's so much stuff that like people were like oh that's not like not okay um uh and like again I keep talking about Nikki Glaser's special it's so funny you would it's so watch it it's on YouTube it's I mean on Netflix it's so funny and she has one thing about like her guy friends who are like

what do you mean so I can't like hug my like co-workers and she's like no you never should have hugged your co-workers like that's weird yeah like there are certain things that it's like okay learning that now like that's allowed and okay um what advice did you give I mean I how he should handle I think I said that she was gonna like body snatch and like murder you and kill her and I was change your locks and doors um i think there's a level of uh i don't know it's there can be this whole thing of um like feeling threatened versus feeling uncomfortable and especially when it comes to like uh uh like a cis heterosexual man and a cis heterosexual woman and then him having relationship whether it's friendship work relationship with another like cis heterosexual

woman um and then like if she's not hot quote unquote or pretty quote unquote you're not allowed to feel threatened and you can only feel threatened not uncomfortable and like they're not mutually exclusive like there can be things of being like that makes me feel uneasy and like weird and uncomfortable and like it's not and that's what she was saying in the call originally that she was like i mean i'm not like thinking that like my boyfriend thinks she's hot but there's like a respect level and i think it's hard to bring that up with like partners because it's like what are you jealous and it's like no it's just like weird and why and like what's the point of that um and it's not like she doesn't trust him no yeah exactly like this makes me so uncomfortable

hearing this yeah and it's also not it's not a thing that has to happen to get your job done yeah like it's just like and i understand when people are and i think what we had said to her originally was like either he needs to have a conversation with her and put his foot down and like have this change or he needs to not talk to you about it because that's the whole thing it's like she's not necessarily seeing it he's telling her about all that i wonder how much it disturbs him enough to tell his fiance versus doing something. Yeah. It's like, you obviously feel a little weird about it. Cause you're confiding, even if it's like, Oh, how funny is this? It's like, well, like, I think it makes you feel a little uneasy and like, that's why you want to

express that. Right. But I think like, um, I also think that like what this caller is describing as like a professional teamwork environment, none of her, none of the issues that the boyfriend would have with his coworker. Um, they still align with that. It's not like, Oh, I don't want to work on a team with you it's like these are things that are like like you said like it's just going to it's just pushing too far she's buying him presents yeah and i think if she got upset of you talking about it it's like that is clear that she's got romantic and inappropriate feelings for him because it's not he's just saying like hey i could do my job better if like there wasn't this like intimate personal relationship what a distraction i know so i think i mentioned

that i was like she's gonna let someone she's gonna turn off life support accidentally she's gonna be too obsessed with her little child oh i thought that in my head that happened at like my hometown hospital someone turned off the life support because it was too noisy but also they were so understaffed she'd worked for like 72 hours straight and i was like that is so sad and i think they tried to sue her and it was like yeah it was a very like i was like oh my god yeah poor woman that's insane and poor person so it's crazy yeah so dark i yeah i mean this all sounds destructive and it doesn't sound like it can be justified yeah no and also like some and like as a feminist some girls are suck some girls suck and like not all the time and not in every

way in every relationship but like you know what i wonder i wonder because that woman she was around 45 let's say i wonder what she's lacking in her love life her personal life where you know she suddenly is romanticizing this 20 something guy who works at the same place she does every single day i'm it's probably such a fantasy for her yeah and that blows i know and it's she's got so much of her probably and it's also like uh that reminds me of like um like guys who go to bars like fall in love with bartenders i'm like so someone's giving you like doing their job and like giving you like just the attention that they have to and you're like oh wow yeah and that's what with her i'm like oh my god you're reading him doing his like being good at his job as like a romantic

intimate sort of thing and it's probably because he's probably one of the only males that are there yeah totally and there's something there's a level of like there's a 20 year age gap she could be his mom's age he probably sees her as that is like being polite and nice and she's not seeing him as her son and so she's like oh it's romantic and he's like well i don't want to call her out it's like calling out my aunt susan i have to see you every day and work with you i'm not gonna like piss you off and suddenly cause even more drama yeah even more tension um but yeah i just think yeah i am it weirds me out i told moz about this call i was like i'm not fucking wild yeah that sucks right yeah i would key her car probably but i'm crazy at least phineas isn't here to hear me

say that he's like okay she's crazy oh my god i wish he was still here to hear his two cents on this one that's funny i feel like he would have said something i love it he's a funny guy he's so funny it's so nice i know it's great not that i didn't expect him to be funny right but i just know you guys are like cringy and cute i just like didn't know that like i don't know what you mean like i didn't know the humor oh no no i know you're funny but i didn't know he was funny and yeah yeah i love that yeah yeah i know that for you we're like we're so like soft and sweet on the outside yeah yeah that's not how we i mean i was because it's not how we all are i'm like no not me at all i am not soft and sweet on the outside at all all i ever wanted was to be

delicate and i am not delicate i i'm like the opposite on the outside i'm just so delicate and on the inside you're like not fucking delicate could toss her around plug your shit i mean everyone knows who you are but like plug your shit um okay uh my name is claudia salewski just type in claudia s it's such a nice name yeah um my collaboration with nordstrom is still available to shop it's online um i saw uh the uh thing i saw uh what's it called one of the in-store displays yeah it was very cute i tried to take a picture but it was blurry and i didn't post it but i was like we gotta go and i was like yeah that was that was fun that was cute um so that's still going on twitter instagram youtube i mean fabulous youtube videos

thank you fabulous instagram stories yeah i get real nerdy with editing and stuff yeah no you've always been it's very good yeah you're the person that i'm like okay she's better at this i'm gonna quit in a good way though i'm like you have this i have such a love-hate relationship because it just takes so many hours and i could never get like an editor to do it for me because i'm so specific and stuff it's my team's like so the day that you get an editor i'm like that's yeah not going to happen but okay no my friend lily is like that she's so good but she's like i couldn't teach anyone i just need to clone me yeah i was like get one of those sex dolls clone it and then it'd be like edit for me it's a good time yeah it's yeah but you know what i'm still i'm still

hanging on there you know you're doing good yeah i really enjoy your videos content content content content content content um and uh if you guys want to call for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners recorded audio message on your phone and then email it to us at meganpodcasts at gmail.com. Check us on Instagram, Don'tBallMeanPod. All of our socials will be listed down below. As well as our website, where you can figure out where to listen

slash watch this episode. And we'll see you guys next time. Don't Blame Me is a production by me. Executive produced by Melissa DeMonts. Camera operator, Amanda Lechner. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso. Part of the HerPod Network. Bye.