Don't Blame Me! - S4E26: Guest: Nikki Limo - The Other One Where We Drop the Advice You’ve All Been DM’ing About (Advanced Edition)

Episode Date: November 25, 2019

Nikki Limo is back and we’re sharing some very sexy advice. This week we’re answering your questions on non-conventional masturbation, faking it for three years, discovering your boyfriend is into furries, and coregasms. In Don’t Blame Them a listener shares her advice on HPV. Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @nikkilimo https://www.instagram.com/nikkilimo/ @dontblamemepod www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,’ PLUS exclusive bonus episodes. This episode is also brought to you by The Real Real and Hinge. Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today we have a repeat guest nikki limo hello i've been repeated hello lizzie mcguire you are an outfit repeater yes except you're not an outfit repeater because you guys have to watch the video because she looks very cute thank you oh right now yeah or the first time i was like yeah i did look cute that first time i want you to know that i was wearing a cuter shirt before because i was like oh she dressed really cute the last time she was on so like i have i think this was my outfit last time yeah but you had like a little a little tie thing too true you're a good memory it was really cute i was like i love this i bought some yeah ties after that yeah oh hell yeah you were

you influenced me such an influencer you are an influencer and i in my mind i was like i feel like she's gonna wear denim shorts and then I was gonna but I um I didn't because my legs are really hairy but more than that you when you wear pants for a really long time you don't look at your legs and then you're like why do I have so many bruises I am covered in bruises I don't even notice the bruises until I go to edit my photos and then I'm like oh I there's a baby face yeah I am a cheetah uh-huh but guys this is the podcast welcome uh this is don't blame me it's an advice podcast if you want to leave a voicemail for an upcoming episode wow let's see if i still know it 310-694-0976 it's never gonna go away thank god it's yeah and i still don't know matz's phone number

um and if you're an international listener which i get still get so many dms people being like how do i call in if i'm international guys it's in the intro of every episode send us the dot in the description too that's true you literally ever you're bombarded by it it's on the website yeah stop skipping the intros um you just send us an audio message record it on your phone and email it to us at meganpodcast at gmail.com and it is that easy ever you you can tell when you hear people with accents on this they're like oh wow how did they get on i was like wasn't they had to move to america they had to get a new cell phone yeah they got a pay-as-you-go phone and here we are um but uh yeah should we get into the advice giving let's do this

hi um english is my second language so sorry if i make any mistakes um i'm 17 i have a boyfriend we've been together for over a year now and we're having sex which is awesome uh so my boyfriend ever since he's been young he's masturbated in a non-conventional way so he'll just lie on his stomach and apply pressure to his penis until he calms so we looked it up and it's a thing that some guys do so the situation it's created is that he cannot orgasm from anything that's not penetrative sex. So hand jobs, blow jobs is just not working for him. He enjoys the sensation of it. Like it's fun for him, but he will not orgasm. So the problem is, is that I've been getting infections ever since we started having sex. So the first time we had sex, I got a UTI.

I went to a doctor and like I'm taking care of it so I'm doing everything that I can to prevent those from coming back but they do so recently I've had a really bad one and I really really suffer from them so I'm now sort of cautious of having penetrative sex and I'd much rather experience more with other things but it's not really an option for him so we're both sort of frustrated about it and i don't really know what to do so i'd like any advice that you can give me thanks wow these are two separate problems yeah i'm is anyone still just picturing him like face down yes yes i am smashing his penis wait his wait his he's sitting on his penis no i just mean like because usually ass up means that your ass is oh no i mean like he's planking

this is the only thing that feels good whoa oh i mean i don't want to sound like ignorant but i also think like if regardless of he's he's 17 too i'm assuming probably that's like it's such a small fraction of your life if you've been doing one thing for like your quote-unquote like like your whole life this is such a small fraction of your life that i don't think it's like oh well this is this is a forever always going to be like this kind of thing i think like um and i obviously don't know like the medical aspect of it like if it is something like with women that like it's not like i mean if we could all snap our fingers and be like yeah i can i can come from penetrative sex like we like we would so i don't want to say like oh he just needs to like experience other

stuff but i think maybe if you break it down like is it a pressure thing like is it like if you give a blow job like does it is there like a specific part of his body that needs like the pressure of like you know i mean like his penetrative sex is pressure or is he lying he's like i am sorry baby i can only do it yeah or he's his body's just gotten used to that feeling and so that's the only way he can come so if he tries if he like stops doing that for a while yeah because he's probably still doing this when he's at home not with her so if he stops doing that for a while and then they work in the other ways it could help okay so like i'm i need to know how this masturbation works so is he has his hand on his penis and then i was just like pressure i think

he's just so then why can't she with her hand job just be like with her with her palm you know on the tip and like add the pressure because that's like what i would say like find that same like stimulation in a different way but maybe maybe it's the same sense because like we've heard about this with like sex toys whatever they don't advise you to use the exact same sex toy the exact same way or like vibrator because your body's going to get used to coming that way that it it's not impossible to come any other way and that's not the only way you can come it's just your body it's like quicker it's like muscle memory so maybe for him he needs to like start trying to masturbate by like just jacking himself off and like having him be able to get there because i

think like ego wise too for you i'm sure like it doesn't feel great to like keep trying and nothing coming from that um literally literally nothing coming I would also say like not to like compare these but like a UTI versus not coming is so different like if your consequences UTIs are so fucking terrible painful but it's not like the fact that you're like oh well I guess I have to deal with this like so he can come yeah it's like well one of these things causes like actual serious medical pain and like it's not good to have reoccurring UTIs for the health of your body versus like oh i'm not gonna like come to completion um i would also say like i know you said you're taking all the precautions that you can but like definitely using a condom if you're

not that's like one of the things that they talk about with like even just body chemistry that that can be like a flare-up for you tis that like his like not that he's coming inside you but like his juices and his body chemistry might be like fucking with your own body chemistry and you're getting like reactions if you're not if he's not wearing a condom it depends on how long you've been with your partner too because i used to before i was married um i would get it with every new sexual partner like immediately and then you kind of get used to yeah that person's uh bacteria i know it's gross but like you get used to that um and then you stop getting the infections um but then so my husband i got i got in a uti when we first started dating and then it went away and i never

did again but um but then when we started using condoms i actually started getting them again because i wasn't used to like the condom yeah material i guess it just it your body has like i don't even know what the scientific term of it is but it's like bacteria yeah you need to build immunity or exactly whatever to that it's like a flu shot it's like you gotta get it like a mild reaction before you don't anymore um but i yeah i just think that this needs to be it's not an either or sort of thing and i think you need to kind of put your foot down um like health wise about the like that sense of it and if you've already gone to the doctor obviously you have maybe it's suggestion for him to go to a doctor and be like hey i

don't is there a medical like we looked at like you guys googled it and you looked up the medical term but like is there a is there a way you could go to a doc is there a penis doctor who can like be like oh this is a thing that like a different way to go about it just maybe yeah or even if you guys look it up in the sense of like like look up threads on like reddit of people who deal with this kind of stuff and like a way to kind of i don't want to get over it but for him to like experience pleasure in other ways because there isn't just one way for everyone to come do you mean like even if it's like clitoral like it's not one way every time like you're not going to come the exact same way every single time and i think because he's used to it uh it

shouldn't be at the expense of like your physical health and so i would just say like let's not and also he should be wanting to also make you come too so if you want to explore other things if If it's him going down on you and then him not getting anything in return because he doesn't like handjobs or blowjobs and you can't have penetrative sex right now, then like, OK, then that's like what it is for this moment. Yeah, it's a relationship. Yeah. But if he's very much like this is a like exchange and like this has to be like you get this and I get this. I don't think that that's also this kind of indicator. It is an exchange. I get sex. You get a UTI. Yeah, it's great.

And like if I was him, I'd be like, wow, I feel really fucking bad. Yeah. You're in so much pain. but instead it sounds like he's like no i have to keep doing this yeah and i get that you want to like pleasure and please your partner but um you also like need to like take care of your own vagina and your body so i say put your foot down and then have him hopefully like reciprocate that stuff and then work have him work on like maybe it's like mutual masturbation in like a different like be there with him and that and then maybe it's like a talking through it and being like

okay what or it's like porn gets important like things that are like going to like be very different to try and find like oh what are these other things that i like explore you're 17 it's the time to explore oh yeah yeah also i just like love like when i was 17 like we were having sneaky sex do you know like this like the fact that you guys like you can call in about like advice i didn't i had no advice i didn't need advice i was like okay how do i have sex as fast as possible when parents are home like that was the only thing i was worried about we would have sex um i don't know if they're listening but in my so my brother's room um looked out across the driveway like you could just you knew when they were coming yeah so it was always doggy style on my brother's

bed that is so looking out the window so we could both see yeah oh no that's genius mine was a lot of lunch time like walked to my boyfriend's house during lunch and his grandma was very old we would just lock the door and be like, is anyone here? And we were like, shh. It was really bad. But best of luck with this. I'm also glad that you're calling in so young. Obviously, be protective, but it also just means that you'll probably have a really great

sex life later on because you're thinking about that stuff now. Best of luck. Cranberry juice. Yeah, look at those forums, too, for the UTI stuff. If you're prone to UTIs, there's a lot of women that are prone to UTIs, and there's a lot of good natural remedies out there, too, because I've recently tried to find something that's not antibiotics because i used to get them often uh yeah there's a lot of good stuff out there yeah i know tons of people get chronic utis god they're the fucking worst should we go into

the next hey megan melissa and potential guests so i am 27 i started dating my boyfriend five years ago um so a little backstory when i was 21 i lost my virginity didn't wait for any particular reason but I did so obviously I didn't have a lot of experience and therefore I felt like when I was having sex I was really trying to put on a show and act like it was the best thing ever and you know just feeling like I was getting like that notion to act like a porn star basically so six months later, after losing my virginity, I meet my boyfriend, we start having sex. And I felt this pressure to orgasm because I felt like every girl was doing it. And I feel like it's talked about a lot now openly, but even five years ago, I felt like amongst my friends, no one was really talking

about women being unable to like come from penetration. So it started like right away in a relationship, I was just faking orgasms through penetration with or without foreplay kind of thing. He was still pretty active in foreplay. He would go down on me. I would have an orgasm like that, but never through penetrative sex. So it's become a problem where for the last like couple of years, I've been trying to get out of the habit of faking an orgasm because I'd actually like more effort into sex now that foreplay feels like it's on the back burner from him sometimes us having sex for 5 10 15 minutes and him assuming that I'm just gonna have an orgasm from penetration and no foreplay is really frustrating I know I've dug this hole for myself

I've tried just like not faking it but I feel like us having sex multiple times and suddenly I'm not coming he's been taking offense he's been asking a lot of questions if I'm enjoying it what's not wrong and like the sex is good like I really do feel like we have genuinely good sex it's just I don't feel like having sex through penetration is something that's gonna happen easily for me if at all which I'm okay with but like how do I get to the point where I get where I can stop faking like I don't honestly feel like I can have an open conversation and be like hey three years we're having sex I was faking it that's embarrassing for both him and I and I just don't know how to get out of the habit and to ask for more out of my relationship in terms of like

foreplay and stuff like that so like please help I'm an idiot thank you okay you're not an idiot you have to have this conversation i did this with my husband the first three years same exact thing she's been with this guy for five years i did it for three years in the beginning because i actually did have an orgasm within the first couple times we had sex but then i didn't want him to think that he's doing a bad job yeah the rest of the time so i just started faking it and it's the worst fucking feeling because then i when i tried to stop um faking it or like you know okay i'm just gonna like have a regular orgasm if it happens it happens if not who cares um but i'm not gonna fake it anymore he started thinking something was wrong with him and like

he was i wasn't enjoying sex anymore or something and i love the sex i just had to have that conversation like it sucks and yeah you dug that hole and it fucking blows but they are so much more appreciative because they do I mean I'm gonna assume yours does too want to please you they I mean that's why they're taking offense because they're like oh no like I'm doing a bad job now um so the more communication you can give them like hey I did this thing I fucked up I'm so sorry but like I really do enjoy sex and I want to get to that place and I want to just enjoy it rather than feeling like I have to come for you um it it's a hard conversation but our sex has been so much better after and i think like if you're coming when he goes down on you yeah like he

men are dumb just like blanket statement but like you're no one's ever going to be as good as if you're having real orgasms and then you're faking them not that he knows that there is a difference but he knows that there's a difference he knows that like oh there's an orgasm that she has when i go down on her which is like wow that's a really great one and then there's the one that she has penetrative sex but if you finally are like the one that i was having when you go down i mean like that's really what like that's what it was like the other like i wasn't i wasn't trying to fake it and like exactly like you said like i don't and also i think it's like you have to people have to understand especially i think guys and i've had this conversation people i've dated

before where it's like i'm not always gonna come like and that's fine like for a lot of the time with men like there there is an end goal that is inevitably going to be achieved in 30 seconds or 30 minutes like it is gonna you're trying to not come I'm trying to come and like I might not get there like and that's also okay and I think when we attach like oh this is the end result every time they can assume like oh but you didn't come this time and it's like okay well that can also be okay too if I don't like if I'm like if I'm like in the mood to have sex and I will enjoy the act of having sex I don't have to come to enjoy it like if I want to come and like I mean I personally would always prefer to come but like if I want to then like then let's go for that but

I can also enjoy it without having that end result which I think is like I don't know like it it like it's just different for them because it tends to be yeah like that more like result end of sex now happens yeah yeah um the other thing is uh like now sometimes if I want to come and I didn't get there through penetration um i'll like he'll like help me finish myself off after sex and that's still hot and i still love that um also uh it's totally normal to uh for a lot of women to not come during penetration sex um sometimes it has to do with like certain i don't know certain partners like you can they can access that spot easier and sometimes um you don't know where your own g-spot is to guide them there and that's a little bit of exploring on your part and then

you can kind of like have uncomfortable sex for like a couple times where you're kind of wait move this way to the left a little bit and then oh up and then okay yeah right there if you keep going right there then i will orgasm and also some women's bodies are just built in a way that like if someone's penetrating you you're not going to be able to access your g-spot at the same time and that's also like again okay but i think like if if it were me um first of all i've never had this conversation with someone i've just broken up and then been like cool this is not happening anymore and it was wasn't until months when i started dating that uh well i mean the guy before i did not lie about not coming because i was like this is terrible but with moths i was just like

i'm just not gonna fake it like i'm just not gonna fake it at all because i kept digging myself into this hole um and I think like like you said like it's it's constructive and like people want to your partners want to know like they want to know that they're doing a good like a good job and that you're enjoying yourself and as much as like that tiny little bit of awkwardness like he's not going to be mad at you if anything he's going to probably feel like oh I feel so bad that you felt like you needed to fake that like I feel so bad that you've been sacrificing like pleasure because like you didn't want to like hurt my feelings like it's not like I don't know I don't think it makes either of you look bad at all I think it makes you look like a really compassionate and like empathetic

person that you don't want to make your partner like feel uh I don't know like not feel like they're doing enough but you can even just say like hey um I've been like like masturbating in this way before that like in this way that I really liked and I think like you could just like fully lie and be like and now when we have penetrative sex I just think like I would like I would love to like if you like went down on me more I really like miss that and like you even say like it's more of like a recent time that you haven't been coming as much maybe it's like yeah because I've been like masturbating in a different way that I think is like fun and exciting and let's try like incorporating some like sex like some toy or like vibrator that like you can like

get some clit action on or like say that you watched some like porn thing that you thought like introduce it as something new not like if you don't want to and you said you didn't want to say like hey I haven't been coming for all this time but if you want to kind of bring it up as like a oh there's this new and exciting thing that really like turns me on let's switch up what we're doing to then get yourself there. And then it can also be like a trial period of being like, I don't know if I'm going to come. I think we'll figure it out together. And then you don't have to fake it there because it's a new thing that you're trying to figure out together. But I do think the smartest thing to do would just to be sit down and tell him the full truth.

Yeah. The truth will set you free. Also after telling him the truth, what, like what you said about going, like the going down is obviously where you get the orgasm. Yeah. But I also found that once i wasn't feeling guilty the entire time i was having sex and i was free of that i would actually come during penetrative sex more often if he went down on me first and i orgasmed and then i would have like a second orgasm and so i told him that and that got him really excited oh he's like i'm the king of pussy exactly yeah and so he wanted to go down on me way more after knowing that like I could possibly become a second time with his dick after yeah and and he clearly cares about your orgasming because he thinks you are yeah so I think that's what you have to also

take in into consideration of like when you tell him I think it is better to tell him because he cares it's not like he's a guy that like I've been with guys where like I've like haven't faked it and they like didn't give a shit but like you felt this expectation to fake it because he really wants you to come and so just know that like that's you both have the same end result and like the egos like who gives a shit they're probably relieved actually because right now he just thinks he's doing a terrible job he like had this skill and then now it's gone yeah and you can reassure him like i really love having sex with you but like i think this also needs to be a journey for us together to find like i come when you go down on me but like i haven't come penetrative wise and

like that doesn't mean i'm not enjoying it i'm really enjoying it but like let's try and figure out a way that I can and if I can't like I like miss that like that was really hot like let's do that again um I'm calling that this is happening right now as I'm looking okay so my my boyfriend left this computer at my place it's been here for like months and it's just been sitting there and today I just got really curious and he gave me his password for something else and I was like hmm, I wonder if it works to unlock this computer, because what else am I going to do on a Tuesday night? And it did unlock the computer, and there's, like, no files in it, because this is, like, his gaming bro computer. Like, he plays, like, Overwatch and stuff on here, and so I was like, hmm, I'm going to go through his internet history,

because what else do I have to do on a Tuesday night? And, I don't know, I didn't really expect to, like, find anything, I guess. I was just really curious. Like, I have no, like, suspicions of anything, and, like, there's nothing sketchy on here. however so this is i'm looking at his history a little bit before we met and in his history i found a lot of like hentai porn which is like um like it's like that anime like drawing stuff and like a really big theme that i found are like succubus which i guess is like oh like a woman like with like very like she looks very cis woman with like huge shits but then they have like

penises but it's all like drawings and like animated stuff and then I mean I didn't really care about that you know because it's like cool you're getting off on your own time I'm getting off on my own time and we still get off together whatever but like I also found a furry account and it looks like he made it from like right before we met but recently in like may june-ish i've found like more stuff in his history from when he's like logged in and it says it's like that he's reading like the history name will say like messages or like xyz profile and it's on fairy names in case you want to look at the website but i guess i'm just i'm kind of like really shook about it and like it's I don't I guess I don't need advice on like

it being sketchy or like things like that but kind of more like do I burn it up do I not burn it up because it's not anything I guess that could hurt our relationship unless he is having like sexual conversations with these other people who are into furries but I can't read the conversations on furry mate and I already tried to like log into furry mate but it says my credential so if you have any advice on whether or not i should bring this up and but i should pay any attention to it and yell at me for snooping for no good reason yeah cool i hope you have a great rest of y'all's day thanks how can i say something yeah succubus isn't like the dick thing it's a demon like a female demon that takes control of wow are you

a scorpio are you like wow um i mean i don't think you should bring it up because i think like not here to kink shame at all or any like whatever you're into you're into as long as it's not hurting anyone and i also consider that the uh the porn where you like force girls have blowjobs where they cry she's hurting that is not okay like don't be into that like and that's me kink shaming just in the sense that i just like those poor girls are not getting paid enough to like literally choke on a dick um but yeah i mean like you said this doesn't affect your relationship in any way i think um i think like what people can be into porn wise can also be very different what they're into like practicality wise so it's like i every guy i've ever dated has been like oh

yeah i'm like super into like girl on girl porn and i'm like yeah i'm not into that like i'm not gonna hook up with a girl it's like okay cool for sure and then it's not like a deal breaker it's like okay you can enjoy your porn that way but i think like if it was if he was feeling unsatisfied in you guys's sex life i think as long as you guys have open communication like across the board like if he wanted to introduce anything like that i think he probably would like bring it up to you and then there are some things that people get off on like porn wise that they don't bring into their relationships with their partners and that doesn't mean that that's like one of them is more satisfying than the other it's like different scratch itches you're scratching

And I wonder, though, because at first she was like, you know, people get off on whatever. I get off on my own time, whatever you're into. Did it sound like she was more concerned that he was talking to specific profiles? Well, that stresses me out. Yeah, because that's a different thing. But also she can't read what they were saying because she can't get into that account, which is a shame because, like, I would like to know as a detective. What I would do was. Look at his safe passwords.

Safe passwords or log. but then google has the thing now where they tell you if somebody logs in from another honestly fuck that shit more than anything because then i would log into his email reset the password and then do it yeah no that's that's that's yeah i would i would probably do that too i think but like i know that you said that you're looking at it for no good reason which and like you're like oh it's just here so this is one of the examples usually when i say when you're looking like you're snooping it's because you're trying to find something oh sorry someone leaves their fucking laptop there for a long time and you're bored and you have nothing to do i'm like yeah i just look

through shit by people i babysat their houses i'm like what's in your cabinet like i'm fucking bored like so i'm not saying i don't want people to say like oh my god you're like going back you always say that if you're looking you're looking for something i don't think this case is necessarily you thinking that you're going to find something but i think you need to evaluate the message stuff like was there an inkling for you when you saw that like some of the stuff was like furry messages and also was it private messages or was it message boards because message boards that's like reddit like that's a lot of like oh i found this thing that really like worked for me like it's more collaborative it's not like a maybe there are like reddit orgies stuff but like to me that's more

like hey buddy to buddy i found some like hot furry shit you want to check it out not like specific like i'm a furry um so i think like figuring out like if like if that sparked something in you that like if it was messages then i think you can like be like okay let me like maybe snoop a little more like figure something else out because you definitely need hard evidence before you ever bring it up it's a conversation oh yeah yeah yeah yeah unless she just like dresses up like a furry one oh my god or i'll message him as a furry and see if he responds to you and then you'll know but maybe also if you guys haven't had the conversation about like kinks and just be like hey is there anything like if you've been dating for a while and just say

like hey is there anything like i don't know like new that you'd be into and like you can even bring up something that like maybe that you're into that you've never told him before and like open up the opportunity for him to like talk about that kind of stuff with you and like say that he's into that um he's like yeah could you be a cartoon succubus yeah also i just don't know how you bring that up in like normal life you know but also at the same time like that to me sounds like that's like if i was dating a guy who was into that versus like like i don't know like instagram models yeah i'd be like well yeah i can't be a fucking cartoon or a furry like i am not threatened at all like oh and i agree like what you yeah what you're into kink wise may not

be something that you actually want to happen yeah because like he can't actually have sex with a cartoon yeah like it's like i'm in a gangbang porn and i've told my husband that since like day one but i'm like but i would never want to be in a gangbang it's more just like a oh it's taboo and something that could never happen to me type of thing and then that's like this is the hot sexy i mean there are people who have rape fantasies but it's not yeah they don't want to be raped no it's like there is something about like illicit stuff that like is just automatically like it's forbidden and and sex is forbidden so things that are also forbidden like they therefore become sexy or a control thing like being held down by a bunch of men is the

same thing as being held down by just my husband but it's like oh i don't have control over it yeah so and also porn is just like everything's amplified where it's like you want to be held down by one guy how do we give you nine you're like okay more is more for sure so like you like women what about cartoon women with the 17 tentacle what about huge what about i know i can just picture those cartoons with those boobs that are just like falling like they're bringing her down you like boobs how about a ton of like a quarter pound of boobs how about a truckload of tit yeah um but yeah i think you don't need to talk to him about it i i think if anything if you are worried i would you know do some more snooping um and also maybe make an

account actually how about this make an account on that website for yourself and then see what that is and so then like cross compare the urls of what he's looking at in the profiles that he's looking at see if there is a message option like see if like if you want to go message somebody is this the same like and then message him with your fake account and see if oh my gosh no i just love that like we get to give the advice because like oh yeah like if you called in dr dr drew or whatever he's like stop snooping and we're like no you gotta snoop the right way you're just doing it wrong yeah no that's always my advice is being like if you're gonna snoop snoop smart yeah and also like you want to snoop in a way that like then when you bring it up you don't want to be

the one who brought it up you want it to you need to create the situation in which it comes up and then you're like oh my gosh and then you're like i've known this for months but like wow wow and then it's a whole thing yeah it's the same page men make us crazy and therefore i'm gonna teach you how to be constructively crazy to get what you want out of it um but uh but yeah but i mean yeah i mean also um i yeah i i just think like in general uh i'm happy with your like outlook at this like i think like we can all giggle about like funny kinks and stuff but like i also do appreciate like that the fact that this is your boyfriend that you're not kink shaming him yeah like it is kind of like whatever he's into he's into um but it you have every right to feel like

a little like whoa like that's really jarring because you're like i thought you were just like wanted a threesome a threesome with a cartoon but yeah jessica rabbit dude she's hot she is hot but does she have eyebrows i don't know or is it just the eyeshadow i don't know yeah there's something up with her eyes that always weirded me out eyeshadow for sure it's so much eyeshadow yeah like and it's like if you saw that in real life like lots of purple eyeshadow with a red sparkly dress yeah that's very interesting i always think of what's that red and purple club with the ladies who are hats it's eyebrows she has eyebrows yeah she has eyebrows does she have weird eyebrows that's good they're just very thin oh okay that's what i don't that was in back

then we all did that i was inspired by jessica rabbit okay we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back hello everybody we are back from our break and let's get into the rest of the calls hi megan i am 21 years old and i have a weird question i don't know if this is like common knowledge that like my little 21 year old virgin brain doesn't understand but i've only given a blowjob once and honestly i don't think it was that good like it was awkward kind of clumsy but he did finish so i was like okay yay um but it wasn't that good also my question is do you like I need the real advanced techniques for blowjobs and then also if you're doing a hand job like if I wear a lot of rings do I take those rings off or do I just leave them on

because like that just seems like it wouldn't hurt the paint I don't know okay I don't know but just some advice about blowjobs and then also do you keep your rings on when you're doing a handjob I feel like you do but for some reason I'm just overthinking that advanced blowjob technique this is our most deemed question we get so many questions really because we gave like basic tips one time and also like i i wear as like a like on my gravestone it'll be like is fucking great at giving head like it is something that like i am not i mean i don't give it to everybody but like i am like i'm not shy about letting like no no i'm great at this that's the whole joy of giving head exactly feeling like you are killer and nikki glaser's uh did you watch it

not yet okay her stand-up she has a whole thing about like girls like girls who love giving head and she goes no those girls are good at it she goes and if you hate giving head it's because you're bad yeah i was like i mean you're like this is lasting forever like this is terrible but like you love it when you're good okay um i'm gonna admit something i've never given a handjob to completion in my entire life so i have i i am i don't know not even like in high school no i skipped handjobs okay wow i skipped a grade like there was a guy that like just like came with you kissing him though right oh yeah yeah just went from that to like not yeah no i i i mean i'm someone who like handjobs are not in my repertoire like i'm just like i it's first of

all am i making out with you like am i looking at you like what am i doing like they are just not a lot of like self-lubrication you don't yeah okay but you can incorporate into yeah but like a little but like not really okay like i'm not again i'm bomb at giving head no one's ever been like yo can you like give me a hand for a little bit longer like i'm just like let me let me get my hair tie i know what i'm good at um so i would say like i if your rings i mean in general as somebody who ripped their earring through their ear um because of a ring and had a seizure um i no longer wear rings i would say rings are a hazard in general wait what oh yeah okay a whole thing um but i think like the most important thing with anything involving like

a penis is like lubrication and wetness so if like rings if you're if you have rings that are like getting caught on stuff or if you find you have rings that get caught in your hair you're like giving a handjob to a guy who has like pubes i would say if you find your rings a nuisance in your own like if they get stuck in your hair they get stuck on things like in your clothes take them off don't wear them then um but like wetness is more important and like it's not going to catch on a ring if like you've like i mean like you've got like lube on your metal is like slippy um i would say if you're wearing like multiple rings and it pinches maybe that would uh get in the way um also if you have those adjustable rings or like anything

that's like sharp on the bottom part i would take it off but yeah i wear my rings um i i also don't give hand jobs to completion but it is part of foreplay for me yeah um and it's like yeah we'll be making out and then as soon like it starts we start rubbing and then as soon as it starts and it's like okay and then it starts we take it out exactly yeah it's like the pre it's like hey i want to have sex the pre is my hand in your pants no i'm about to do a blow job but like i gotta like get it as hard as possible first exactly yeah um okay i love how you went from like you gave like a like a like mediocre blow job to be like i'm ready for the advanced techniques are you like are you actually like i don't want to overwhelm you if you're not ready for them

you practice the basics first yeah um because i think like you get good at a blowjob with experience like i don't think that like the first blowjob you ever give is like gonna be great and i think it's also mine was you give them melissa give us the best techniques i think that it also needs like building it up with if whoever you're dating or whatever like you're gonna figure out what they like so like the best blowjob you give like it's gonna be different for every person you're giving like because it's going to be their best blowjob because it's what they're super into so like is he into getting his balls sucked like pop a ball in your mouth like oh that's advanced i think because you got to be gentle this so were you ready for the advanced maybe maybe this girl

might not be ready but there are other listeners out there that are like okay we are ready yeah we've already so we should give them advanced techniques i find it it's choreography the whole thing is choreography and it's like it's positioning everything and i think the first step of like a really good blow job is you have to set yourself up for success you need to not be uncomfortable you need to be in the right position to have access to everything you want to have access to I personally don't think I give the best blow jobs when I'm 69ing every guy is completely disagreed but I'm like I don't feel the best I don't I can't concentrate fully oh my god no I'm like this is not working for me but so I would say like set yourself up for success like make

sure you are do not I've never given the best blow job of my life literally on my knees on the floor you're on a bed i am like that is like some place where you can be there for an extended period of time um and really go for it and then we've said from beginning the wetter the better like spit on his if he's into you looking at him like that the whole like lead up to it is like like you said you want to get him like as hard as possible and like because you're gonna the advanced techniques like your mouth's gonna hurt your jaw is gonna hurt you want it to be like a quicker thing um we've talked about like what hand job hand twist one way whereas like tongue mouth the other way no teeth and then i think like the most like when you are like back in and i'm

demonstrating with the microphone you're gonna so it's like if this will say my hand is my mouth if i'm going like this this way i'm gonna make my tongue go this way yeah swirl this way and then flick two flick two and then get the tongue as you're still doing like going and then again this is my mouth not my hand you can have your hand here if you want to do that but as your mouth's going up and down like do your tongue yep underneath this is the most sensitive part the most and then the tip so if you can do like tongue stuff here and then other stuff like this like way with the tip there for those of you just listening not watching it's like the bottom shaft of the penis there's like a line to his body yeah and you just put more pressure with your tongue

there as you're going up and you can even do your thumb too and just like rub your thumb in like circles around it um but like the most mind-blowing blowjob is going to be one that like defies the laws of physics like how are you how is my ball in your mouth and you're like sucking my dick and like how is your tongue here and all of that stuff like that's what i mean like choreography like you have to get the rhythm and good at that kind of stuff so like practice the rhythm aspect of it but like if you can incorporate like the tip and then underneath the shaft and then like like and if he's like into like cup i mean always balls like cup is balls like massage is like gentle with it okay so not too firm there's this thing i started doing maybe like four years into my

relationship with my husband because i always like he loves my blowjobs like he's like oh my god you have such a good head i don't even want to have sex because like oh i just want to explode right now yeah you're like yeah i don't like i love it anyway um but i took it up a notch because i was like i want to make like i want to give him more yeah um and i had read in um several magazines from high school i remember this cosmopolitan magazine being like oh um push like i already know that yeah that taint area yeah between the asshole and the balls uh like apply a lot of pressure there but my husband is really like doesn't want my fingers anywhere near his asshole so i knew i had to like kind of pretend i was doing something else to get there

and so i would pretend to cup his balls and he's like oh i like how you massage my balls and then i would slip two fingers and he went wild he was like what are you doing that's different this is crazy it's so good and i never told him he still doesn't know and he probably i don't know if he'll listen to this but but you're married i would say in general like yeah i know it's good up a notch plenty of guys majority of guys do like a finger in their ass you that's a consent thing yes there's like there's a certain level of like and i would also say like even with um any if you're giving I wouldn't give an advanced blowjob to a guy that like I didn't know well because like I don't want to do any because like I'm doing extra work yeah I don't want to learn the person yeah I could like

it's like a very intimate like I'm like I'm a whore like I don't want if I'm a fucking whore right now like if you're not down like I'm I'm mortified so like there has to be a conversation there or it's a relationship in which it's like ah you see me in my sweatpants and then I'm about to like blow your mind because like I am a whore now like my husband likes it when I look sad while i'm giving him a blowjob and i like it because i like being dominated he's like you look too too happy like be sad like you don't want it you don't want it and i'm like i don't want this oh this is dick i don't want it and inside you're like yeah yeah uh but yeah i think like and even for like the amount of people

who like ask us about like advanced techniques i think like the way you're going to get like and i we can give these like specific advice like and locations and things but like listen to like your partner and like what they're and even if they're not saying what they really like but like how their breathing changes and you're like oh you really like this but overall you can do all of these things and if you're like timing and the rhythm's not right it's gonna fucking suck like it's like i always think like the more you can tease and like the beginning of it and then like it's a slow rhythm and then you're but like you can't get to that fast point 30 seconds in because then it's like they're not there yet it's like make sure there's lots of saliva

oh the wetter the better like you want spit dripping down his dick that's like the number like it should be all over your face oh you should look you should look like you have rabies like you should look disgusting like absolutely and they're like fuck yeah but like every guy i've said like that have have told me that like that one of the biggest takeaways they're like oh when it gets so wet that like your spit is dripping down my dick that's like i'm like fucking done yeah hell yeah and you're just like hawking loogies no not full-blown yeah yeah but um but yeah actually the viscosity of mucus it is the same thing they do like that yeah it truly truly also don't give if you take adderall and you get usually get cotton mouth don't give a blowjob i was gonna

actually ask you that question because you get your mouth gets dry a lot while we're talking oh yeah what do you do first of all i think if i if i i know i would i it's just a lot of water and also like i have to would over hydrate you know got it so like get like you know because like if my mouth is too dry have you ever tried have you ever given a try attempted to give a blow job when i used to like actually like smoke weed that would get me high not just like make me like not neurotic i and you have cotton mouth and you're like trying to get like i can't it's like eating like a sleeve of saltine oh my god true so funny do any other advanced tips techniques um oh i i don't know i mean like it is about your partner what they like the most uh but like yeah

recently like he's been liking a lot of deep throat and so like oh yeah it can fit like it all the way down he thinks that's so hot like that's you know you it takes if you oh if you can lie i said this is all over the place but if you uh squeeze your thumb i'm not fucking crazy i told you about this it takes away your your gag reflex yeah or it tricks you look like a master yeah yeah placebo effect i don't know what it is but i'm a master so one hand's on the shaft and you're like i'm not but nicole byer also does a trick of like just stick your tongue in the back of your throat and then they think you're deep throating and then yeah if you just raise your tongue yeah i also think someone also damned me and asked me if they thought like my tmj

hurt or helped my blowjob techniques i think help i think it helps because it would make it my jaws it just opens so fucking wide snake yeah this is me saying like give a blowjob and like stick a ball in your mouth how do you fit that yeah that's my giant giant broken jaw it's cool um i know my orthodontist was like i really think we need to get your jaw surgery like it's getting really bad and i told him i was like no what and i was like yeah it's like they have to like wire my mouth shut he's like that's a terrible idea don't do that superpower i was like are you concerned about the podcast he's like yes i'm so concerned about you talking that's what it is like for sure um but i think those are like advanced techniques i think like yeah that's a good a good

starter yeah advanced let's try those out and come back to yeah and again rhythm rhythm rhythm rhythm focus on rhythm um yeah and just like wetness and all that and like yeah ease into it once you get good feedback that's also going to make because again this is in the nikki glaser special where they say she says like about the second it was one it's one guy who tells a girl like you're really good at this and it's like oh my god yeah for me this guy was like oh you give a bomb hit and then you're like it's like you it's like you have glasses on you're like i got this i'm gonna go to the library and stuff like this is my calling like i know what i'm doing for the rest of my fucking life so like as soon as you get that feedback like that's when you're gonna feel

more comfortable if you're like if you're hearing these techniques i mean like whoa i'm like once you get that confidence boost like there is no ego boost like someone being like hey that was really good and you're like oh my god i'm a master i'm the best and so then you'll feel more comfortable and also like you're gonna get better just because you're more confident because like an unconfident blowjob is just yeah an insecure blowjob just like a licking ice cream i think hello nasty um oh yeah and pressure it was the last one i was gonna say oh we talked about that yeah but like making sure like you're not like just open mouth i mean like

yeah yeah yeah there's like a good amount of like do you block your teeth at all yes yeah because i i do but my husband likes a little bit of teeth and i'm like that's i think that's like the second in advance yeah like that's the next yeah most guys like a like a little bit yeah you have to have good teeth control yeah and also like i feel like when girls have a little bit of teeth i'm like it's always an accident and like i'm always trying not to and like i'll give a little and then you're like oh i like that you're cool i'm never gonna try and give teeth because i'm just gonna like like serrate like just yeah sandpaper your dick and like painful we do we've had a few dms too might as well bring it up now about if you're a spitter where should you spit i've never

spit i have no idea where you spit yeah well i think you have to prepare and like get a tissue before yeah like have a solo cup next to your bed or something not like a tissue or like your clothes whatever you're wearing his clothes i feel like a tissue might not hold enough yeah that's a lot of liquid for a tissue or just like i do don't or like have your mouth open and just let it come like out some guys like to see oh yeah yeah some guys like to see that i feel like you're a spitter you don't want it on your face oh really because like it might be the swallowing part yeah because the taste is what yeah and also the volume and being able to swallow that much back to the mics sometimes the volume too much yeah it's overwhelming yeah uh i think that's when i've

spit is like there's too much come to swallow and not throw up yeah um when you're not prepared you're like this much was about to come holy shit um i got to promote nikki gleiser special again but she talks about this and that's where she like doesn't understand spitters because she's like do you just walk around be like oh that's what i see it as but i think yeah spit on like get up like a towel yeah or something the best thing is to like to avoid being a spitter is like if he's about to come maybe he's communicating it to you getting it as far back it just slides right down yeah yeah like an oyster pills like yeah you take advil i would just i don't know for me i also personally i'm like i i don't i just like come dry as we like if i spit it it's

gonna like get on my you know i mean like it dries on your yeah if i have makeup on you ever get in your eye it turns it like bright red have you ever gotten in your hair after you've freshly showered have you gotten common wet hair no i was mad for days i was like you dick i just showered i deconditioned my hair i was so mad because no matter how much you know no matter how much you rinse it it is just it will not wash it no it doesn't shot it is it makes your hair dull it doesn't shine and it's like your hair's all shiny and then there's like this patch where clearly clearly there was something in it i was livid um but yeah so that's where i would i would say you can you should spit if you want yeah but i don't know i'm not it's not my first preference

right no i was just fine when i spit i look disgusted like if i'm spitting something out i look disgusted and i'm like just i'm just like don't just pull back and just jack them off yeah oh yeah yeah or just like stick it in your pussy really quick on to the next hey guys so i read this out so i'm just gonna read it to you to keep myself under three minutes so i have been with my boyfriend for five years now and have had sex with him thousands of times. Here's my problem. I experienced corgasms but have never came during sex. I found out about the corgasms in middle school and as it only takes me a few sit-ups to come, developed a six-pack very quickly. I've spoken to my gynecologist and she gave me the

generic, it takes women longer to cum, whatever, you know, foreplay, all that speech. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy sex with my boyfriend, but after five years, me not coming has become normal so he doesn't even try. When he does, I feel pressure to come and then, of course, don't because I'm thinking about it too hard. At Amazon Prime's The Book, She Comes First that you frequently mention for him but would love any additional advice you can give. I still enjoy having sex regardless, like I said, but I would love to experience having an orgasm at his hands, dick, you know, tongue, whatever. I think it's also important to mention I lost my virginity to him and have never slept with anyone else but he has and those girls have had haven't had a

problem as far as he knows this isn't a major problem in our relationship and we are planning to get engaged within the next two years but yeah i mean i just want to come so if you have any advice please let me know thanks love the podcast so much what's a coregasm so it's having an orgasm like when you work out so like it happens in five percent of women bitch you are so lucky also how do you go to the gym how do you work out she has a good time at the gym oh my i mean i have a good time at soul cycle sometimes but like holy shit another level wow wait so you do sit-ups and you just come yeah wow the only thing i get from a sit-up is a queef like i farted yeah like i farted i've queened oh my god you should pilates sensual yoga can you imagine yeah wow do you do you like

what about if you plank do you think you'll like orgasm while you plank like the first guy wow that would make working out so much really good i wonder if you do you have a six-pack from doing oh i would have a full-blown six-pack going to the gym all the time yeah sometimes i don't make it to the gym because i just masturbate yeah you're like i got my workout it's good for the yeah exactly i'm like this is serotonin i'm good i'm fine wow um we are screwing each other over by or we're screwing ourselves over by faking orgasms i've learned in this episode because uh those women definitely didn't come all the time with your boyfriend they really didn't um maybe they came once or twice or they came you know like they didn't fake a few of them but like

it wasn't like how he's explaining it men's egos just get really oh yeah big from us faking it and then put such unnecessary pressure on other women but if you've talked to a guy or you've like about a guy who's like who's really good at sex they will tell you the reason they got good is because they had a girl who was like hey this sucks yeah and like that like my boyfriend him and his high school friends were just incestuous like all of his high school friends they all hooked they were just friends they all hooked up he was like oh no like it was being like what are you fucking doing like no do this do this do this he's like i literally got like my best friends essentially to tell me as like girls like do this this is so much better and he's like and there was no ego in

it because they're friends it's not like a relationship but like they're we're doing nobody any favors like you're just like that's how like there are like 35 year old men out in the world being like i'm great at this you're terrible and how have you had sex for so much of your life and you're so bad not saying that your boyfriend is bad but i mean i think like it's just he doesn't have to put in the work to make her come so no and i think like she says something like five years without her coming with her boyfriend that's crazy not even tongue or anything and i think this is you putting it on you though but like i don't want to say this in like a negative way but i think like you're not i i don't think you're showing to him that coming is a priority for you

so he's therefore thinking oh it's not a priority but it is a priority for you but like you're just you just i don't know and i don't know if there's any like i don't know if you feel like weird shame about like coregasms of like a sense that like you feel very different that it's like oh well i have this thing so therefore i can't have like this other thing but like i think now it sounds to me that like you are like not realizing but like you want to try all this other stuff and maybe when you guys first started dating like this was something that felt a little bit more weird and you felt like i don't know maybe sex wasn't something you wanted to talk about because you had this like quote-unquote weird thing that you could do that you didn't hear about because

i've never even heard about it before let's do some sit-ups while you're having sex i know i was like can't you like if you're on top yeah like you get to enjoy that aspect of it but i think you just still it's like her putting it on the work without him really trying yeah but i think you need to have i think he's just he's just used to it and he doesn't know i don't think he knows that this is affecting you and this like is hurting you because i think you've probably put on this face for five years that like it hasn't and not that it's like and maybe at some point for you it felt i don't know have you like when i i didn't have orgasms like with a partner until i started dating my boyfriend and like i would just i wasn't like detached from sex but it was

kind of like oh like i didn't care as much because i was like oh i'm not gonna get there so like i'll have fun but like whatever but i could see the more you're with this person you're like actually well no i kind of really want to try this again but i think even how you phrase it to us was like i i would talk to him about it if you've been together for this long yeah i think you can just say like hey i really want to like try this again like i really like i really want us like i don't know let's go for it like and bring it up in like the emotional context of like hey i am not enjoying this and then i walk away from sex feeling not feelings of um of uh yay we're closer but rather like i'm uh less than yeah it's like she's being used right yeah yeah and i don't think that that's

necessary i don't think that's necessarily his intention i just think like you've been together with him for so long like you change and evolve and like maybe like you're more comfortable and it's like you know what if it doesn't work the first time or we're trying weirder stuff like i i'm so much more comfortable with you now i'm ready to try that stuff and like see how it goes yeah because she said she lost her virginity to him so like of course you're not comfortable talking about anything especially if your partner's more experienced which he is um you're like oh i am the novice i am the student i know nothing you you feel almost like you can't bring up these things uh but now it's been enough time that you yeah i definitely explore yeah and you're

comfortable enough to bring it up with your gynecologist and all this stuff like you i i i think it's just about like kind of like the other call like i think it's introducing something new and just being like hey this is exciting like guess what you get to have sex with me and we're gonna have sex a lot because i want to figure this shit out like it's it's not gonna be like a nuisance to him if he really cares about you like it's gonna be like oh wow this is fun and exciting and maybe you don't know maybe he's always he really like wants to do that but like you haven't been as seemingly as invested in it so like he hasn't been but like maybe he's gonna be fucking stoked one of my friends uh used to date this girl a long time ago and she had never

uh she'd never had an orgasm with a partner ever before and as soon as he found it out it was like his mission he was like i have been blessed by the gods with this opportunity i am not going to take advantage of it I am going this is going to be amazing and like was so so excited and invested in that but like I think like you just have to give him that opportunity and talk to him about it otherwise nothing is going to change and you can say like I've said that before with people that I've dated before where if it's like they're not going down on me as often I'm like honestly I just kind of feel like why am I here like I do feel kind of used and even just saying those words if they care but it's like oh my god I am scum I am so sorry like yeah they don't want

you to feel like that but i think a lot of the times i mean we all get in our own heads when we're having sex and guys in general can be like oh my god it's like it's what guys ask is like how was that handjob for you and you're like fine like i didn't do anything for me but he's maybe a little bit in his own world and not recognizing and realizing that you're not having a good time but i think the second that you say that he's gonna be like oh shit let me like fix this let's try this immediately let's figure this stuff out um and if they don't care about you at all then maybe it's not a good relationship yeah like i think when i try to think worst case scenario what's like the worst thing that can happen from people bringing it up with their partners that

like he doesn't want to try yeah is that they don't care they're like oh let's just keep doing what we've been doing yeah and it's like okay well maybe that's someone that's not considering your feelings in a broader sense that's exactly i was gonna say that's exactly like if someone didn't care about that then i'm like oh so this okay now let's take this sex out of the equation like something's not working for me but it's working for you it's like all right it's fine what do you what do you what no it yeah i think his reaction how he'll do that will also you'll be able to like see that and also we get so many fucking calls of people being like oh my god but he's like so great in bed like this this this all of this stuff like he's so great but like there

could also be someone who's incredible in bed and like you have a really fun time and you really get along with them but like if it doesn't work like sexual compatibility wise like you don't have to sacrifice coming with right like that's not your perfect partner quote unquote like it's not something that you need to settle for if sex is important to you like you should be with someone who matches you sex wise and like pleases you in in a way that like you can't like you want to be with for the rest of your life yeah it's so important yeah but i think it's just a conversation and let be honest like i think yeah like i said how you talked about it with us i think that like yeah i think you can literally just say that offensive at all yeah yeah i think it's a it's a

it's a good time but unless he's like yeah those girls did come all the time oh my god i i my favorite thing is bursting bubbles of guys that i've like i've been like getting you know none of those girls yeah i was like no she came from penetrative sex like all the time i was like did she wow that's crazy okay we have it's time for don't blame them so this is when uh a listener will call in with their own advice from a previous episode so if they had fucked a furry yeah they be like hey it's cool this is what it's about hi megan and melissa and guess um i'm calling in about um in response to the caller from the episode with kelsey um she had been diagnosed with um hpv or she got tested for hpv um i just wanted to call in because i had these back same

thing happened to me um i got an ear an abnormal pap smear um it came back that i was hpv positive but for one of the strains that don't lead to cervical cancer. I had a lot of fear when that happened. I was really scared of what was going to happen. I had a lot of uncertainty about how that was going to affect me and my body. So I just remember being really scared and having a lot of those same fears that the caller had. So I thought I would call in just with, you know, my own story in the hope that it might calm her mind a little bit.

So, I'll say that I did get the full HPV vaccine. I got the whole Gardasil series when I was young, and I still got HPV. I don't know. I had a partner at the time, but I maybe got it from him. I maybe didn't, which was its own fun conversation to have. Like, hi, I have an STD. Don't know if it's from you or not. Maybe it was from someone else.

You might have it. You should get tested. So, that was a scary conversation. um and um yeah but nothing else really changed um all the only thing is that I have to go to um the gynecologist and get a pap smear every year instead of every three years um and my doctor said the same thing Melissa did that the HPV would just kind of go away on its own um and we just had to keep doing the tests until um until we saw it go away and just double check that nothing else was going on so um it really wasn't as scary as I made it out to be in

my head um and um once I sort of got educated about um all of the non-scary things and how um how it wasn't really going to impact me as much as I thought it was going to um it took a lot of that fear away so um to that caller you're going to be fine it's not as scary as you think it is um and yeah I hope this helps so um anyway love everything you guys do thanks so much wait people only go once every three years i think that's i don't know i went for my first one i felt like oh really whatever yeah i know i know it's called an annual it's called an annual yeah maybe it's past i think it might be like if you're sexually active it might be every year yeah okay but this isn't hold on so i had hpv and the same exact thing it was like the

non um malignant strain because there's over 100 um and only 13 are malignant but i have to go every six months because of that um and sometimes it comes back as abnormal again and then sometimes it's like normal uh but yeah you just have to keep an eye on it um but yeah people there's a lot of like misinformation or like uneducated uh people about hpv so i'm pretty open about talking about it because a lot of women have it like it's like one in three and i think it's probably even more than that but people aren't like they don't know saying it or they don't know yeah and guys don't know at all that they're carriers of it and uh i even got it when i had sex using a condom and so people don't know that they can get it that way too because it can go around condoms um but yeah

people were like you have genital warts they were like oh you have a you have some other thing and i'm like no like it's literally not that it's like a cell that's in a different shape and then sometimes it's not um but yeah definitely get you have to definitely like yeah check it out every year and then if you switch partners there's a chance that you can uh contract the malignant strain if you don't get the shot um so if anyone listens to kelsey podcast kelsey actually just got diagnosed with hpv which is great yeah so kelsey was our guest for this episode oh okay prior to all of this happening but she just released an episode on her pod and i was dming her talking to her about this because she had a normal abnormal pap smear after she'd been on the

podcast where we gave advice to this girl about hpv um and neither of us really knew anything and then kelsey's done she's been super open talking about it and it's like it's crazy for us to go from like her kelsey and i sitting here being like oh we don't know anything now i'm like oh kelsey's my resident expert like she just did a whole podcast episode on it um which i think if anyone's listening to like if anyone who heard her original episode where she talked about it definitely go listen to her podcast about that episode um it's incredibly informative and interesting because i talked about in kelsey's episode the only experience i ever had was my mom had hpv but she had cancer so like i she just associated it and that's the

issue it's the same thing that i think like we're now breaking down the difference between hiv and aids but we're not breaking down that difference with hpv yeah there isn't like it's just an overarching thing that you see on a pamphlet that your doctor's like would you like a Gardasil shot so you don't get HPV which will give you cancer dude and I got it when the Gardasil shot was just coming out so it it was like $900 for one shot you know you had to get three times and I had never heard of it before and I was like well no and it was it's never it hasn't it's not 100% effective and also they didn't yeah force you to get the only reason why I got it was because my mom had it it was like no no you have to do this but it wasn't like polio it wasn't like doctors are like

no you have to do this um but yeah i think it's it's informative for like all of us because i think like it's something that like we don't i don't know you don't you don't think about for sure that like um if you have it like oh or something like you can pass it and you can kill someone everybody yeah yeah i think we're finally like at some point you've had it like the different types of herpes we're finally trying to like understand the difference and like how like oh the whole population has like one kind of herpes and the older you get the more people have fucked each other yeah more likely the people you're having sex with have something like it doesn't make you like dirty or unclean or anything like that it's just kind of something that like

happens and it's the same thing with like any like std or any even like illness like in that way like if you think about like yeast infections like these are different things that like they happen they can come back they go away they come back but like it's a medical thing that like as long is like you can have an open conversation with your doctor you don't have to talk to your friends about it but like i think it's great to talk to your friends about it but like with your doctor you're gonna be everything's it all becomes manageable at a certain point it's just like understanding that and learning that and not feeling like the grosser you feel about something and even kelsey said it before when she because she gets chronic uh was it yeast infections or

uts i thought it was yeast infections yeah no because we talked we got very graphic talking about our yeast infections um and she talked about how the more positive she talked to her body and the happier she was she's like we're in it together like this seems like a lot nicer and a lot better when it's not like we aren't disgusted by your own body like yeah you're at war it's like no no come on we're on the same team we got this so yeah i mean like that during periods too you get cramping and i'm like what do you need body you need a warm pad what do you need i got you yeah i take care of you oh i'm not like that with cramps i am at war with my body i am like you fucking piece of shit why are you doing i have so much to do today yeah oh yeah no i know i was

I'm going to the Jonas Brothers concert tomorrow. But I was like, I'm going to have to cancel because it'll be my day two period. And then that is just horizontal crying. Yeah. It's a good time. That's fun. I've got clarification on the annual thing. So in 2012, they actually changed going every year.

So it's not an annual anymore. So she might be now going every six months like you do. Well, see, here's a hack, though. Don't go every three years. Make that your physical in one. Like, that's still a doctor. So I still have them test for, like, my blood. Like, do my blood work.

Test my vitamins. all of that shit like the stuff that you would normally do like with your primary physician i don't do that i just do the gyno appointment one time and that one's more covered by uh like cheaper insurances too then um like the the physical the annual or the um primary care physician um so yeah i just have my gyno do everything oh wow and there's a life hack for you that's nice your animal yeah i need to find a new gynecologist guys that's it for our episode uh nikki thank you so much for being on thanks for bringing me on again thanks for talking about this dirty shit like i i love to i love that you love to and i love that i can like usually i have

to save these questions for just me and melissa but i'm like she'll talk about you know rubbing that taint yeah we actually if you listen to our new podcast hey bitch which is an all-in podcast yeah yeah we are we get pretty detailed in there oh my god there are so many of you kink shaming the girl that like is choking on a dick there's a girl in our group that loves she likes a guy to spit in her mouth and cover her mouth and make her swallow it like and she just loves that she must have a really great like no like nasal passages for breathing oh yeah she has to she just loves it she likes being choked she likes being like punched she likes like everything yeah girl i like that i like that for her so plug your podcast oh yeah so hey bitch

all women's podcast i also have a podcast called shit they don't tell you it's with me and my husband we cover relationship topics and sex and all that too but we also cover like finance and like credit and like all the shit that they didn't tell you back in the day um but yeah and then youtube it's nikki limo and instagram's all nikki limo but hell yeah i think that's enough plugs right that's a good time and now i'll plug us guys oh my god thanks so much for being on if you guys want to call in for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 or you can send us an audio message if you're an international caller and record that on your phone and email it to us at meganpodcast at gmail.com check out our instagram don't blah meme pod um if you're

watching this go listen to it if you go to don't blame me.show you can figure out all the different places you can listen and or watch and um that's pretty much it right cool we'll see you guys next time bye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso part of the her pod network Bye.