Don't Blame Me! - S4E7: Guest: Natasha Chandel - Ex’s Friend Spreading Rumors

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

Natasha Chandel of Kinda Dating podcast is here to share advice! We’re answering your questions on what to do if you get laid off from you job, how to handle your soon to be mother-in-law pressuring you into having kids, how to keep your parents from finding out that your boyfriend is living with you, and how to get rid of a third wheel. In Don’t Blame Them we have someone sharing her own story about her ex killing someone. Check out our NEW Patreon Community - https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @natashachandel www.instagram.com/natashachandel  @dontblamemepod www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa Listen to ad-free and bonus episodes on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,’ PLUS exclusive bonus episodes. This episode is also brought to you by Betterhelp. Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hey fuckers don't forget to check out don't blame them on wednesday on patreon as well as our cut for time clip on friday on patreon as well hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today my guest is natasha chandel oh i did it right yeah i mean i did practice uh from the kind of dating podcast thank you for having me oh my god thanks for being here i just listened uh to you with our good friend shireen oh yeah that was a deep episode that got fucking real no and i i love it also i just love i mean you guys all have great voices but like shireen's voice because i know when you listen to someone you know talk on a podcast i can just like picture her face and i also picture

like her uncomfortable face which is yeah i try to make her uncomfortable all the time yeah yeah that's a yeah it's a it's a great thing we actually have a video of that one like oh my god i need to watch yeah it's very she gets into it she does and she just has her her voice is so expressive and it matches how expressive her face is and so there's just a lot of like and i love it and i love it yeah it was a good time i was like i was laughing and enjoying it and then you know obviously not as far as like the parts that were funny i was listening to yours it's so awesome i was like oh man i get to be on this show okay get excited to hopefully help people with their lives yes but even if we fuck it up that's okay because they can't blame us

yeah it's not our fucking people people yeah don't blame anyone else i mean i blame lots of people for lots of things but this time we're taking we're not taking accountability oh no maybe this is just aligned with my life then it's fine um well if you guys are new here and you uh have an issue and you want to call into the podcast you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international callers you can send us a voice memo at meganpodcasts at gmail.com and fyi i just need to clarify because a lot of people are confused about voice memos and i will say some of you who are confused have been dming me okay you guys kind of really have no excuse because you're australian so it's not like there's a language barrier here at all voice memo on your

phone android it can be an iphone anything like that go to a voice recording app and you just record your voice then you email it to us and if you're going to send it like you think you're just gonna do it via instagram and it's more than like one like quick little sec like if it's not like a yes or no question and it has lots of paragraphs call it yeah i'm not gonna read that i'm not gonna read it either it's a lot of words also i'm not good at scrolling and remembering where i'm at because there's no little like markers so like i'm i can't follow so call us hi megan i'm gonna try to keep this short but it's just a lot of shit right now basically i'm in washington i am almost 27 and I am a teacher and so I just found out well I didn't just find out but a few months

ago I found out that I was laid off from my position and it's effective the next school year so I'm finishing out this school year and my paycheck as well as my insurance will carry me through to the end of August but after that I have a couple of options I'm looking for jobs I'm looking for, you know, a decent paycheck and to hopefully keep some kind of insurance. But I might have to substitute teach, which means I don't have insurance. And I may potentially have to move back in with my parents, which is an option because my parents are great and supportive and they will help me out however I need to. And I know I'm lucky for that, but it's really scary and it's really stressful because I would like to stay on my own and I would like to support myself. And really, the only thing that's kind of helping me through this entire thing is the fact that I'm going to be starting my master's degree in September and I'm kind of switching career paths.

So being laid off was not the worst thing in the world. It's just kind of really stressful and really shitty. And I'm sitting in kind of a lot of shame for potentially having to deal with all of this. And if I have to move back in with my parents, like I will feel really shitty and it's really scary and just, I don't know. But I mean, there's options and I'm currently, you know, applying for jobs and trying to figure it out and trying to get my shit together. but I can't shake the feeling of you know worst case scenario I might have to move back home for a couple years and I know that it's temporary and I know that I'm lucky and I know all of these things and it's societal pressure of what success means and you know it's really shitty that you know it costs so much to live on your own but I can't shake the fact that it feels really shitty

and i don't really know what to do and the fact that i might be without insurance you know um and i've you know birth control and prescriptions to pay for and i don't know how that works without insurance and if things are going to be super expensive and like i just i can't even begin to list off all of the things that i'm stressed out about and um just if you have any words of advice or comfort or anything I would really appreciate it um I know that it's really just going to take time to figure it out but I it's really really hard and I'm really anxious that's our three-minute cutoff she got the three-minute cutoff yep oh oh that's a yeah tough situation yeah I think I mean I think you're doing a very good job of therapizing yourself

in the call um but i mean i think it's uh i'm not going to tell you that it doesn't suck because it does and uh i personally love to be validated as my therapist says like you just live for it i was like no i live for validation that's just all i want is i want someone to be like i see you and i see how you feel and i don't need to make you feel better but like you're you're good and feeling that it's also annoying just when somebody doesn't tell you like if you're like oh you had a shitty day and somebody's like no you didn't like no I fucking did like and it's okay to say yes some things happen that are shitty yeah and it's not gonna be shitty forever I think um like you said like you're you you do want to take a pivot in your career um and this is

probably as much as like no one wants this kind of happen it did happen at like a time that um is just, it's going to work better with your life. And also I think you are lucky and you are right that you are, you're aware of how lucky you are that you're in a situation that you do have parents to fall back on and all of that stuff. I think when it comes to, um, like the pride with it and like that you are correct in like the media's idea of like what success is. And I wouldn't even just say the media, but it's also like what your friends talk about and what you see from your peers um i don't have a stable job at all like when you're an act like i constantly am having insurance and then not having insurance and having to pay for my own insurance and

do all of those other different things that like there isn't a steady so i understand that when you compare it to people who have seemingly had a very steady life but then the more i even talk to my friends who have normal corporate jobs like no fuck i got fired like i like have been crashing on my parents couch but i no one advertises that kind of stuff nobody's yeah that's not the instagram story no which i'm sure you're not even doing that either so i would try and as much as like i hate being like well whatever journey you're like it's gonna happen like everyone goes through shit i think like my my opinion in the situation is i think the most important thing for you to invest your money in um it would be health insurance i think that like you're

talking about like you have prescriptions you have birth control like also same have to have health insurance because my prescriptions are insanely expensive without it but if she's going to be a student she can get insurance yeah but school the in the in between yeah and it's she her her um insurance stops in august she starts school in september oh and also um if you have like breaks in employment then you can get cobra as well which is an insurance thing yeah the cobra is fucking expensive sometimes but i would just you know i would say to her i'm like girl you're 27 i'm like shit happened that's this is the time i'm like you're not 50 with two kids or three kids and you know i'm like this unfortunately we're sort of that generation that got you know post

recession life where everything is unstable but if it makes her feel better i was 30 31 i was at MTV for four years I was like the one person who knew like everybody's job so I was like I'm always gonna be here I got laid off and I remember that whole feeling of like oh my god what am I gonna do I suck was it me what's everybody gonna think of me and there's always that like weird shift and I remember it was thankfully like my mom who was like you weren't happy one and two like why don't you use this opportunity to do the thing you really wanted to do, which at the time was I was in New York and I wanted to move to L.A. So she was like, you have severance and somebody basically paying for you. Why don't you just move now instead of twiddling my thumbs in New York?

And I was like, you're right. And so I sold everything in two and a half weeks. I moved to L.A. and I'd been in New York forever. So and I came and then like that weird feeling of uncomfortableness and like what's going to happen pushed me in a way to reach out to people that like I didn't know would eventually end up helping me and in three weeks I got a job and then I was at Fox and then I went to Disney and it's like shit works out you know and like we always think in the moment it's not but it's like life is always going to be like ups and fucking downs and you sometimes gotta like ride it but I also don't think like what you said right some you got to feel shitty and you gotta allow yourself to feel shitty and even if that's like feeling that

shame but then also like don't dwell in it and don't be like this is the only reality yeah because in her situation it seems kind of like you got college coming at you yeah the thing you really want to do yeah and then most people when they're like doing a master's or something take up another part-time job yeah and there's no shame in that at all like that's how people fucking survive Yeah. And there's so many career pivots in general that I think like this is this is something that, like you said, like you don't have anyone to support and you're lucky that you have people who can put a roof over your head if it comes down to that. and i think like as much as you can um like swallow that pride and then think about how much money do i want to spend on my pride and how much money do i want to spend on things that are actually tangible and that i need because like to save face and to get an apartment and potentially

like rack up credit card debt that you don't really have like a guarantee to pay off immediately also how much of that is the appearance to you like do people even need to know that you moved back in with your parents like if you don't feel comfortable saying that but like if you're going to spend all this money to get your own apartment and your own place that you really can't afford how are people even going to know that you did that like I think you it's I think as much as like we're like oh I feel embarrassed about other people seeing all this stuff I think it's also just knowing that like you don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed of yourself and so much of like this appearance we try and keep up nobody else gives a shit as much as we give a shit about

like what we think like oh i think everybody's paying attention and cares about this i'm always like people go off and they go back and live their own lives and nobody gives a flying fuck what you're going through and to be honest i always tell people if i had the opportunity to live with my parents i would totally be living with my parents and saving money like i would have no ego about it because but my family's in canada so like example when i got laid off i was like oh fuck I gotta I have nowhere else to go I gotta figure this out and you know but again I always think like necessity is a mother of invention and it kind of forces you to think outside the box in a way and you're lucky yeah lucky you have a home enjoy it trust me the people who are if anybody's

judging you it's because secretly inside their parents are mean to them yeah a hundred percent they're like my fucking parents would never do that to me oh yeah oh yeah no I would be that i'd be like i'm fucking jealous i want to live with your parents will they make me dinner will your mom do my laundry totally no that's a lot will your dad do my laundry yeah will your mom help me with my taxes can i save this much money yeah i've got friends who live with their parents and they they have had like relate partners or friends have been like come on like move it on your own they're like first of all i'm saving so much more money i'm gonna be able to probably buy a house before like you are able to like any of that stuff i think there's any of that shame like

you said it's definitely misdirected in like a wow we would all be kind of envious and jealous of that and also know that like as much as you don't have to feel like ashamed of it it's also um if you feel better and you feel more confident in not necessarily telling people you don't you don't owe anyone an explanation about anything you don't have to talk about it but if you feel empowered to talk about it and you want to talk about it with your friends and like let them in and let them know i think you'll be um pleasantly surprised how supportive and how people also probably open up but with like the other struggles and shit that they've been through yeah i moved in with my parents in between me like finishing school and then moving out here and i i like i

did have a little bit of shame but i was like i need to save money before i move so it was does it matter in the big scheme now you're like whatever man it was like a tiny blip i love my parents and and for people who like i don't know about you megan but for like me i because i don't i don't get to see them whenever i get to spend time i'm like man i don't know how much time any of us have yeah just cherish it well on to the next one it's been really smooth segue hi megan melissa and guests um i am calling in because i have an issue with my fiance's mom so backstory my fiance and i have been dating for 10 plus years um met in high school he is He's the best person I've ever met.

I love him more than anything. So excited about our wedding, but his mom is making it harder and harder to get excited about. A little back story about his family. His mom is insanely Catholic, like so much so that I am having a Catholic wedding ceremony just to kind of, not to please her, but just to kind of get her on my good graces. And because I know she would probably flip if I didn't. But she keeps bringing up us having children. Now, this is not the first time she has started bringing this up. She's been bringing this up.

I mean, even when we were in college, about asking when I wanted to have kids and how excited she was to be a grandmother. And I've kind of told her each and every time, the same exact time, I'm not having kids anytime soon. I probably won't have kids until I'm in my 30s. And I'm 25 right now, so that's about five, six years, depending on, you know, what happens in our lives. Anyway, it hasn't been as bad until we got engaged. Every time I see her, it's the first question she asks me. So do you want to have kids yet? Are you excited about having kids?

When are you going to have kids? I can't wait to be a grandma, et cetera. To a point where I have told my fiance to tell her to kind of pump the brakes because it's really stressing me out. I've told her multiple times that I don't want to have kids anytime soon. And my fiance and I have both agreed that we wanted to wait to have children, but she keeps harping and keeps bringing it up no matter how many times I can scream it at her. Not scream it actually, but like really wanting to scream it at her that I don't want to have kids yet. My fiance and I don't want to have kids yet. So I guess my question is, how do I, I mean, I've said it nicely before, but how do I really kind of harp home that I'm not having kids anytime soon?

that she needs to stop without being a total bitch um thanks so much i love you guys um be as brutal as you want i don't care rip me to shreds or not i don't care but just help i'm tired of getting asked i'm gonna have a child and i might not even want one so thanks so much bye i feel so bad for you this seems like this woman seems like i don't know how like you said like i mean i haven't actually screamed at her i don't know how you haven't yet i would lose my mind i was gonna say like i i so empathize mostly because i'm like welcome to every brown girl's family like but you guys were talking about that on the amazon totally it's like all day every day when are you getting married when are you having kids with i want kids or like basically them being like they want to be

grandparents or they want kids around but you know like how how your life sucks about constantly can we set you up with somebody and it never ends so what do you do i mean i literally like just had a thing with my parents where they asked me to be on, um, an Indian dating site called, uh, this is going to, okay. I know you think that your issue with your mother-in-law is terrible. I, I just want to put this in perspective. Okay. There's a, there's a website called shadi.com, which literally translates to marriage.com. And, uh, my family has known since I was very young, i don't believe in marriage i've been very upfront about it i'm like i want a partner i don't believe in marriage um so and and to get a profile on that account is two ways either you put one up

or your family puts one up and it's called a family-run account because in indian culture parents are so fucking overbearing wait so you could they could be talking to someone else who's also running a family family-run account and both of you are like i don't want to be here it's happened to me before where my parents against my will put up a picture of me and created an account which was a family-run account and then made me go on a date with a guy that my dad was like also side note my dad's an astrologer like he's an actual indian astrologer i want to meet your dad oh my god and so he found my astrologically perfect match on shabby.com for on a family-run account i might be on your dad's side were you guys not super good here's the thing no because

he fucking had the same name as my brother and all i could think was fucking my brother oh yeah and my brother's tall and he's an engineer and this guy was tall engineer and had the same name as my brother and i i was like guys no and then like we ended up talking because his family was running the account my family was running the account so i just want to put in perspective about overbearingness you know and so just now they still tried to convince me and so my my dad the other day was like you know i just want you to think about it what do you do with your life let me let me put up some picture let me feel oh my god and then i was like no dad and like i've gotten to a point where i've scared them so they they know not to say these things to

me because i just like i'll just go like i see red and that's just my way of like getting them to And then so he knows that he can't convince me. So then he got my mom, who's like my best friend. And the next day and she knows, don't tell her what to do. So my dad, my mom is like, you know, have you given any thought to maybe what your dad is saying? And I was like, yep. Nope. And it becomes a point, but I get it.

I'm saying all this because I so empathize with what she's going through, that constant. And so then I put up an Instagram story asking like a poll and just being like, how many people are being pressured into shit that they don't want to be doing? And it was overwhelmingly everybody. And then I realized, oh, shit, I'm not alone in this. And everybody from all cultures are getting pressured into getting married and kids. And then it's always the next thing, right? Yeah. Oh, after your kids are done, when are you having the second one?

Oh, OK. Well, when are you getting a house? Or when are you? I don't know when the fuck it ends. Yeah. and people started telling me they were like it never ends like my married friends were like tash just because you get married doesn't mean it'll end then the kid thing happens and that doesn't end so there is some point that i guess you just have to sort of fucking let go and put down a

boundary and maybe not saying like hey we don't want to have kids but saying how it makes you feel yeah that's what i had to do with my mom i just eventually said hey ma like i had to send her text because i get angry oh yeah speak i understand that so i was just like ma you guys saying this keeps making me feel like i'm not like i'm some fuck up child for you and i just really need you to trust me that in my current state it's just not what i'm into and and uh and i don't want to be leading somebody else on and wasting their time when i'm just not in that space at all and I but I just basically told her how it makes me feel yeah then she tried to passively like passive-aggressive guilt me she's like uh she goes okay honey I I hear you

thank you for relieving us of this guilt just like for sure literally I was like you're welcome that's funny moving on because I'm not going to play into this passive-aggressiveness yeah at some point you kind of have to put down i think i don't know how you feel about it but yeah i mean i think that makes sense though because i think like even in related to anything else i think when uh someone can say something to you and it comes from like such a place of love or compassion but like the way that you process it and take it you're like i hear what you're saying i know your intention is not to make me feel like a fuck up or make me feel shitty but like it does so what you're saying isn't helpful this isn't

like an encouraging positive thing this isn't like oh my parents really want or like anyone they really want what's best for me like wow they're just so supportive it's like that's your goal but like the that's not how i'm taking it and so if that's let's have let's talk about something else that could make me feel that that how you're trying to make me feel this is such a more positive way if i was gonna say i was just gonna be like just start explicitly talking about your sex life make sure you're trying doggy style and his mom would just think and then we'll never want to talk about it again like if you because that's the thing i find with my oh my god it's so funny my uh friends who are pregnant and they are like my female it's yeah my female friend

they're the ones carrying the babies um but uh they were talking about how funny it is when people when they were like trying to get pregnant how everybody's so involved and i asked them i was like is it like super weird people keep asking about it because like i like love them i was like all i can fucking picture is you and your husband fucking like i don't want to think about it whenever it's like how is it going are you trying i'm like you're having sex like i don't like i love you guys like i don't want to like think about it and picture it so like in my mind i'm like well what if you really like people have this like massive separation when it comes to like oh like we're trying to have like we're not having sex we're trying to have a baby i'm like it's the

same fucking thing you're just like coming inside me and like i'm not on birth control like this is it's like it's in my mind i'm like make it sexual and then she'll be like oh my god it's like lord jesus she would be especially she's like mad cap like she's like can you imagine she's like premarital sex exactly i thought for 10 years you guys have just been hugging just long extended eye contact oh my god it's just been sweet penny oh yeah but not more than three seconds like nothing oh my god so that was like my like that's a good yeah that's also a great way just making people uncomfortable because then it's like oh fuck i don't want to like hear about this anymore yes um but also i think like i'm i this is obviously in a very different way

because like i don't get it like in like purse like in real life like from people like but if i post any picture of my boyfriend and i it's like oh my god when are you guys getting married like and all of those questions i'm like first of all like we're 25 and no matter where you live in the world like sure maybe people get like i'm gonna tell you almost all of my fucking friends are single if i got married now i would be like what are you doing like yeah we don't even have boyfriends or girlfriends and you're like getting married it's like just on a different like level but like i getting that pressure and the one you respond to one person you have that out there so it's not like oh she's never talked about it it's like with your mother-in-law like

she's heard you say this before no matter how many times you say it your answer isn't changing so i'm also kind of a believer of being like if i've said it once you're gonna ask me about something again i'm just gonna pretend i didn't hear you yeah we just changed the subject and it's like it's not that you're not answering her question because she can't be well you didn't tell me it's like well no you know like you know what my answer is and i'm gonna come to you and even if like it's saying one more time it's like i want to let you know that like like you said this makes me feel because i think it's like this makes me it makes me so excited that you really want to have grandkids and we're really excited to eventually have kids but i'm just letting you

know that like right now that's not where we're at and it makes me feel like a fucking like human gestational tank. Like it doesn't make me feel love and appreciate. It makes me feel like I'm just kind of being used for something else later down the road. And I don't want, I want to be able to come to you when I'm pregnant. And I want this to be something that like we can talk about and share, but like right now I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing you. And it's making me feel bad about myself when I feel great about myself and where I'm at, but now you're making me think that I shouldn't feel good. And I like love you. And I think you're amazing, but I'm just gonna say now this is the last time we're gonna talk about this and when we're ready to have kids

we're gonna let you know if you don't hear anything we're not ready yet and i'll come to you but like the next time that you ask about it i don't want to come across as a bitch but i'm or rude maybe she'll die like satan will come down if you say the word bitch and just be like i'm not gonna talk about this again so if you bring it up don't take this the wrong way and don't take it as me being rude but i just need to protect myself and my self-worth and my self-esteem and i'm just not gonna answer and i'm just gonna change the subject yeah and eventually i think hopefully hopefully she'll like get bored i'm just gonna say like don't get pressured by it yeah if it's what you want yes have a kid like have it when the time feels

right and that's what you want but like that pressure of everyone telling you to i think it's like that's the stuff that like i mean at least for me like that's the stuff that stands in my mind is all these people commenting to me telling me to get married i'm like no one i know in real life has ever been like hey you should get married now nobody but i'm like oh it's a bunch of like 11 year olds from minnesota who are like get married and i'm like oh maybe they're right i'm like well none of my friends have been like do you know what i mean it's like this it's this aspect that like we can kind of stick on to those things that also i don't know as humans think we're very good at like second guessing ourselves and so when someone says something like oh that's not what i

wanted you're like oh god is this and you spiral down that whole thing but stay strong with it also know that your fiance uh he's on your side and then have him like also lay down the law with his mom yeah i think he's gotta definitely say something because he can't be a pussy about it Yeah. And does he have like a brother who could like have a baby or something? So like, yeah, that's, that's, that's a good call. It's a good time. That's the book. Yeah. Well, let me know what happens. And if you do, I don't know what state you're in, but if it's legal to record people without their consent,

I would love if you could record this first time you tell your mom, like really just like explicit shit or your mother-in-law that would make my fucking life. I would love it. I would just love to hear it. She just, just actually gets struck down by like, is it lightning that Satan has or fire? What does he have? Does he have? Oh, he strikes up though, right? Does he strike up because he's down there? You're talking about Satan?

Yeah, doesn't Satan? Oh, God. No, God is mad at you. Okay. I was like, I think Satan, you just burn in hell. My little understanding of it. Satan's there. So I, Satan's a big fan of me.

Like he, what I'm saying to you, he's my hype man. God would strike you down. God would strike you down. Satan would welcome you with open arms. Like, come on in with the threesome. Is that the threesome here? Dummy out, you nasty, nasty bitch. Here's a nice fireplace.

Oh my God, I'll meet you there. I will 100% meet you there. Should we go on to the next? Hi, Megan. I am 24 years old and I love your podcast. And I thought I would call in with my own issues. So I graduated from college two years ago. And my boyfriend and I have been dating for four years now.

Once I graduated, I got a job in my hometown. and ended up moving back home however my parents don't live in this house anymore so because my job is really close they allowed me to technically live at home and I pay for some of the small little bills since I don't make that much money but you know it's great because I don't have to pay rent and stuff like that so my boyfriend graduated a year after me and also got a job in a similar town and we've been living together ever since the reason why I'm calling is because they don't know that we live together in their house because they would definitely not approve My parents are very traditional and believe that me and my boyfriend should be married before we move in together.

And we do want to be married and we do want to be together, but we don't necessarily believe that we have to be married first. My parents are coming this summer to visit and thankfully his friend has allowed him to crash at his place and he will no longer be in the home when they come. But I do want to talk to my parents about me living with my boyfriend without their permission. Now, I'm really concerned about having this conversation because my parents are very protective and they control a big part of my life. Just as a little bit of backstory, they pretty much picked my major and pretty much picked the field that I work in. And I feel like I really don't have a lot of autonomy. And just the idea of sitting down with them and telling them that I want to live with my boyfriend and there's nothing wrong with that really stresses me out. But at the same time, I don't want my boyfriend to feel like, you know, upset at me because he's so understanding and is so great because he has been encouraging to me and so supportive during this time.

But at the same time, I feel like I do need to stand up for our relationship. I just need some advice about how to go about this conversation because I do want to still live at home with him because it'll give us so much. they will give us so much like the ability to save money and not having to pay rent and we still want to pay bills it's not like i just want my my boyfriend and i to freeload off of them like we want to contribute to households we want to help with some of the renovations because it is an older home and we do have plans on like what we want to do with the kitchen and things like that but i just need kind of advice on how to confront my very traditional and um stifling parents if you will wait so let's just get she and him have been living in the parents

house with the parents there no parents aren't there they they have another place parents pay for it and they pay i'm assuming utilities is what they're paying got it so they're both living there for free if you i'm going to be honest i think if you tell your parents they're going to kick both of you out so i think you need to decide and like i live with my boyfriend you know in sin i mean we already knew i was going yeah um but so we live together but i i and so i'm not saying that like oh you shouldn't live together i don't but i think at the end of the day like if you want to do something that is against um your parents wishes you can't be financially tied to them like in that and we've had callers like that before where it's like i want my boyfriend to come over

whenever but i live with my parents they don't like it it's like well tough shit yeah then yeah totally i agree i think like you have every right to want to live with your boyfriend i think it totally like you don't need to be engaged clearly like i'm very on that side but if that's your that's the lifestyle and the life choice that you want to make you also have to fund that and pay for that and so am i telling you just to like lie to your parents yeah yeah am i also saying run that scam yeah run that fucking scam first of all you guys have it good yeah you're saving money i wouldn't i but here's the thing though i wouldn't i wouldn't get into renovating i wouldn't do anything like that i wouldn't give any sort of suspicion of like where is she getting this like

money and like who's doing this with her anything like that i would keep the lie fucking going and then i would just save the money that you would put into renovations or do anything like that to then get get your own place yeah i would also change the locks pretend someone broke in and don't give your parents a new key yeah because that's my biggest fear is like he's gonna be there also he it should be like the bachelor every night he packs his bags so if they come he can just like throw them out the fucking window and get out of there yeah like where's all his stuff is he moving like all his clothes to his friend's house and all his belongings that are out at your house like he needs to act he needs to live like a squatter that's what i'm

saying like but when they come visit like oh you have to not have stuff there i mean i hope and then they must have to hide it i'm telling that this just sounds like such a low-key indian girl move because like this is the shit we had to pull like i was with my boyfriend four years my parents didn't know to like the very end we always call yeah like that yeah because you're like i don't know yeah you know i agree with you if she if if you do want to have the talk which i do think eventually you're gonna have to but then you have to take you have to go with the repercussions of that or you have to be okay with the repercussion that they might just be like get the fuck out of my house or it's us or him like yeah that might come down to it so if you don't want to deal with

that definitely just keep it low key till what i did is you break your parents yeah and you break their spirit by them thinking you have no hope yeah and then and then you look like that's what i mean because right now she's 24 so they're like oh she's got time yeah fucking keep that lie going for a couple more years and then they're like oh oh shit she's not finding it sure yeah you whoever you have you want to live with him okay live with him i think that's a good call yeah do they know that he exists though that's yeah that's it i was gonna say i don't know if they because if they know he exists you okay might be suspicious they might be and then if they are you need to every you fucking have to change the locks yeah you have to make him like change up

like the deodorant he wears you need to like go in there with a ring dove baby powder you need to like vacuum everything like he needs to dye his hair your color and grow it out that length so they find hair like you have to fucking like like hardcore ninja like jedi mind trick this shit otherwise like it's gonna blow up in your face or tell them and say we'll pay rent but you can't yeah they're saying they're trying to save money i know it's like that's a hard position for him to be in those right because like he feels like he he's got no homes yeah oh yeah she better shut up it's a house you're right you're fucking right actually you're right i would just be like they have a backyard yeah if he got mad at me i'd be like boom yeah you gotta go where are we gonna

so but i think it needs to be like this like you guys have like a really great like it's also kind of like you know hot and sexy where it's like oh we're being secretive you have a really great thing happening right now but like it's only going to it's only going to be so great for so long and i wouldn't say like don't enjoy it but really use it as a stepping stone of being like okay we're getting away with this it's like we're fucking getting away with murder we have to fucking save money as fast as possible get out of here because this is too good to be fucking true and like it's gonna blow up in our faces yeah yeah so i think you need to like work as fast as possible um i think they know you do yeah there's a good chance they've been dating for

four years she's been graduated for two years he's been living there a year like i think if they don't they at least know that he's spending the night yeah yeah at that point i'm like what do you care after that yeah they're like paying for their sex pad it's time for a break guys and we'll be right back okay guys we are back from our break and uh let's hop into the rest of the calls um i'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 21 he just turned 21 um he has a best friend who was dating my best friend for the last year uh well no they broke up a year ago so they did the first year of our relationship it was really fun and we did a lot of double dates but since they've

broken up he still tags along with just my boyfriend and I um it's gotten to the point where I brought it up to my boyfriend about how I want a little bit more time just him and I and without having it as kind of like a group date and just kind of my boyfriend and I um my boyfriend doesn't think there's a problem with it he thinks it's fun when his friend comes Um, he thinks that we do have enough alone time and he thinks he would be mean if he brought up to his friends. Um, his friend kind of knows that it bothers me, um, because he's texted my boyfriend stuff like, you know, um, I don't know if I should call him if she's there and stuff like that. I don't want to make her mad. It's not that it makes me mad. I do love his friend. I just want

more time just to us. Um, he literally comes to all of our dinners, all of our movie dates. It doesn't seem to bother my boyfriend or his friends and neither of them see a problem with it so I really need advice on how to bring it up again to him I've brought it up about three times now and it doesn't seem like anything is going to change but it definitely does really affect my happiness and it makes me feel like I'm not as important as a friend I want us to be equal but he sees his friend seven days a week and he sees me usually three and even those three days his friend has to be there wow yeah that's like a like the epitome of a third wheel yeah like I think you're the third wheel yeah actually yeah like I think like yeah wow that's odd I mean I I definitely

like they also broke up that was the part that like so him and his ex-girlfriend who you guys used to hang out with broke up a year ago so they dated a year before so like I would think my in high school uh my boy when my boyfriend and I broke up like I definitely invited myself to but like i invited myself to everything that my boyfriend my best friend and her boyfriend did um and she was like very nice about it he was even nicer about it he was like yeah for sure the more the merrier and she's like can you like like not be around all the fucking time but he was me i was the one instigating it and you know like it wasn't like they were being like come on it like all the time and why were you doing that well because i was newly single and

like hella fucking lonely but it didn't like last that long like it was one of those things that it was kind of like I it was the end I think it was uh no I don't know it was some point in time where I was like just hanging out with them a bunch um but it didn't last it was kind of like oh I was really sad about my breakup and like it's when you're young and you're sad about your break whatever you want to hang out with your friends if your friend is a boyfriend it's like okay well I'm sure I'm gonna hang out with you guys for a couple weeks but like that seems like it's ongoing yeah and they see each other seven days a week like I'm definitely all for like I get the bromance thing because like you know dudes get like that girls can get like that but there definitely is

like a little if he's coming to every movie date and dinner that's what i'm wondering like does he watch when you fuck i was gonna be like if it was me i'd just embrace it and invite him shut up wait that's actually the way to get your boyfriend unless they've got like a romance thing in your boyfriend but if your boyfriend's like super super super hetero like yeah that's the what you get i'd be like you know what like maybe we invite him to like do like some other stuff with us since you enjoy him being around oh my god he's like never fucking mind you never see him again yeah never see that guy totally again you know if he's just gonna be around i feel like we should put him to use like for the movies you know maybe i'll make out with you for like

oh my god i just love that just making this the theme of this episode is like how to get what you want make people so uncomfortable that you trick them into it don't say how you really feel that's not working clearly not at all clearly this is why people call girls crazy because we say how we feel then you don't listen to us they're like well fuck now i have to go on that elaborate fucking scheme oh my god or you know what try to get set him up with some other girl yeah that's a good try to get try to find him some other date because i mean there's tinder and shit there's lots going on convince him of that get him out of your hair if you guys are having sex this is gonna be classic like crazy female i think you need to like your boyfriend

is having his cake and eating it too i think it can be like you know what like i don't know i just didn't i don't really feel if he's like you sleep over there or whatever and like maybe they're roommates or whatever you're like i just like don't really feel in the mood like tonight it doesn't really that like make it be like no you can't hang out with me and your bro keep doing all the fucking time and then like be like oh we're gonna come home we're gonna have sex you're like so we're just friends because like i like four let's i hate the word four play whatever like especially like female fourth four player whatever it doesn't just start with like making out or whatever like i need to be in the mood mentally if i'm not in the mood mentally and

that means we're like fucking watching like uh like super bad with your bros and you guys are all like smoking out of a six-foot bong like you know what i'm not thinking can't wait to bone my boyfriend later like completely romantic date like something that has not even necessarily like i don't know like just just in a way that like you can still be flirty and like sexy when it's just you and him because like i'm sure at least i would i'd feel like a fucking idiot trying to be sexy in front of like my boyfriend and his friend yeah your girlfriend she's trying so hard you're like duh okay yeah i'm like god i mean it's it's it's sweet that the you know that you guys are being nice to him but it is it does seem like a tad much why does he want to be there but

but he's also said like i don't want to come it would be weird and the boyfriend's like no come are they are they having issues like as in as in maybe the boyfriend doesn't want to be alone with her I don't want to put that idea in your head but maybe that's something to ask like what's really going on yeah because it's just it's odd if you feel uncomfortable you've made it clear you're uncomfortable he your boyfriend's friend has said that like he also can sense that it's a little bit uncomfortable and your boyfriend's like no no we're all good like why is he why is he on your his friend's side not yours like why isn't he backing that up you know maybe like coming up with some compromise like maybe he comes out one day and then two days you guys

have your own thing because there's got to be some balance to that if he's there all the time it's legit weird and maybe maybe it's one of those things that like he invites if if i want to know how the plans are being made like are you guys making plans and is then he has a friend going along and is your boyfriend then inviting him or is it are they making plans and then they're inviting you like maybe you just like you you don't instigate plans you don't make plans at all and then if your boyfriend's like hey we're gonna go come do this like we're all gonna be doing this like no i'm good and then realize like oh he never asks you to hang out one-on-one because in my in there are so many times like i think this happens a lot with guys we're like no no i am doing that

thing you're like no no you're not but i'm gonna show you you can't see it because when i tell you that i'm just being an asshole so like instead i'm gonna be like oh no i'm gonna say no to these other things you're gonna be like oh i guess maybe i am not doing that thing like maybe i'm not we're not hanging out alone because now i realize that the only time that maybe the only time you guys are hanging out alone you're instigating it or it's the end after like the end of the night after after you've already hung out with his friends and so if you don't give the opportunity like put the ball in his court in the sense of being like you also shouldn't be the one who has to like force him to want to hang out with you one-on-one agreed and then he needs to also

instigate it and if you real and then also if he like is fine with not and like you realize that i think you need to let them go live happily ever after like at 21 he's he should be wanting to just bang you all the time like my boyfriend at that age was like trying to be alone with me i was like dude like fucking kicking him away like let me breathe a little you know what i mean yeah so it's kind of strange that he's always and i remember being like like my you know boyfriend's friends or we were all so close we all hung out like the boys hung out with us all the time but he also was like all right no i want to be alone like he so it's definitely something else to go i feel like there's something else going on i i think so also because like your friend is a

cock block in that age at that age it's like all about like no man don't fucking cock block me so i have to say you know don't have sex withhold the sex and not even like oh i'm not having but just like being like you know what like this i'm not really in the mood because like i don't know i just felt kind of like one of the boys today and make him i don't want to say make him work for it but like i think make him realize that he needs to make space for her and if he wants to make the effort you need to see now if the relationship is where it's at and has progressed where it's at because of the effort that you've put in or has he put an effort to yeah and it's super hard as somebody who's a total control freak and like i'm okay with putting in a lot

of effort and it's like i sometimes would rather put in effort and reap the benefits than not like have that like there's my like leo ego thing of being like i don't want to feel rejected so i'd rather make the plans versus wait for someone else to do it but it's it's all that's going to do when you overcompensate for other people's like shortcomings it's gonna have it's gonna come clean at the end of the day like it's exhausting like you can't eventually ever do that well let to know what happens i would love to know we definitely agree yeah it's strange yeah and they might be in love and if they are in love i would love to i would i'm just i would want to be part of the throuple that's i think that i think you have to suggest that and then also but that imagine

though it's funny you suggest that and then he's like yeah for sure and then you're like oh my god no never mind it's all i need to know i'm out for fucking out or you're i would be into it like i'm serious but i don't think she's into it no also her unless she's just not open to her friend used to date him and then what if she her friend is like wait so you guys are all dating now it's been a year yeah i was gonna say and he's been around every time yeah oh my god so open your mind and all the other holes in your body because now you got yeah yeah yeah okay is it time for the next one hi megan so i'm 19 and i'm actually from germany but right now studying in poland um i'm studying medicine for the next three years here and then

moving back to Germany. And I'm calling because at the beginning of my studies, I met this guy and we dated for like two months. And after we broke up, he was very, very hurt. He's a very emotional guy. And his best friend also was very jealous while we were together because he had the feeling that my ex-boyfriend didn't spend enough time with him. He spent too much time with me and afterwards we actually stayed friends for the next two to three weeks and then we went on a vacation with like six other friends we went skiing and after that they didn't talk to me anymore they talked about me to other people and also the people that I met through them because they already lived here a year longer than I did they also stopped talking

to me and the people from my school from a university they already have a lot of groups and I have like two good friends here but because of the breakup and what especially the best friend is telling about me I have the feeling that I can't really get to know people because I it just does not feel right to go up to them and say hi do you want to do something this evening or do you want to hang out sometime it's it's it just it feels weird to me and it's also not very easy for me because I'm living like 700 kilometers away from home now I'm home every four weeks and I'm very close to my family so that's also not very easy and my question is how can I cope with things like finding friends at university even though already people heard a

lot of stories behind my back or how do I cope with the situation with my ex-boyfriend and his best friend and yeah it would be great if you could give me some advice about that I love your podcast that's why I'm calling in and wanting your advice and thank you for helping me I mean my first theory is this best friend either is in love with you or is in love with your ex-boyfriend yeah he's a dick yeah this is like i i think also as much as like gossip and all that stuff like that it feels really isolating and it like really really hurts um also just try and put yourself in the position of thinking like i've definitely had people who like gossiped and told me about like shit about other people that i'm always that i'm like why are you fucking telling me like i

don't care but like usually if someone's got you're like oh smile and nod so i think like regardless of the fact that like he's told all of these people if there's a couple of people in that friend group that you've actually felt really close to like know that they probably don't give a shit like i think there's a lot of like saving face of awkwardness that because that those friendships are a little older that they're not going to be like why are you gossiping man but like it's in one ear out the other kind of shit yeah so i wouldn't i wouldn't stress too much about that i've dated and i said this on the podcast i did my freshman year uh i like met a guy at orientation who is oh he was like a senior or junior and we started dating like literally

like day like three or four of my freshman year and so that's how everyone knew me it's like I was introduced and I like this was like oh this is this girl's dating him and him and by the time that I like we broke up I was like oh my fucking god like I don't have like a people already only know me as your ex-girlfriend and you also have seniority here like you have all these friends like it felt awkward and it felt weird to like make new friends. But that's when I just like switched and went to a different frat. And like, as much as it feels sucky and I, again, like the winning the relationship, the breakup or whatever, that you like all those friends and you invest that time and that energy. That doesn't mean that those people aren't going to be your friends

later on, but take like a solid step and break away and find some people who don't necessarily know him that well. Find some people that you can have those new relationships with. Even if they knew him they knew that you dated that they don't have like oh I feel have this loyalty to him that I can't talk to you in that way you know yeah no totally I I also I'm also sort of sensing with her that this might be about something deeper for her I think it's like she's away from home so there's like a lot of that insecurity that's just like natural that's building up so I think like she might be telling herself a story that's not reality like nobody likes me they've heard all this stuff but it seems like just go take the shot you know of like going up to your to those other

people and being like hey man you want to hang out this weekend or whatever if you notice that it's like a continuous pattern don't take the truth as like a bad thing take it like the truth is a gift you found out that those aren't the right people for you and move on like but but the the big thing is like don't give somebody else the power to take take away enjoyment and joy in your life that's the part you control you don't control what anybody any fucking dick because he's literally a dick does out there but you control how you react to it so like don't give him that fucking power he's a douche yeah and it vets those people like if those people are going to like hear some lame gossip and be like oh yeah i'm not gonna speak to her anymore i'm like cool

you didn't want to be those that's what i'm saying anyway because that happened to me in high school too like my my first boyfriend he um i literally only dated him for a month and a half and it's kind of like this I think she said two months right um and he went around after that like we didn't do anything because I was so young and like I wasn't allowed to go out or anything so he ended up telling people he did a bunch of shit with me that he didn't do like sexually oh high school boys right and um and I remember like suddenly half of the school stopped talking to me yeah and it was like and he was you know he was a white Italian kid and I'm Indian and there became this race war that suddenly went on that like suddenly it became like a oh like all my brown and black

friends used to come up to me and say like oh uh you so we're like we're not good enough for you and i'm like huh and then other girls like his crew would say oh he's with like a brown girl like it just became this weird thing wow yeah yeah and and i remember my parents don't let me out of the house when when did we have sex i but i'm always like lucky because i it did it got to me a lot at a point when I remember being like oh my god who are you people like I thought you were my friends yeah but then I realized like oh my god it's so much better I know this shit about these people and I can move on and then I found other friends that had heard stuff but didn't give a shit yeah and they like liked me for me and like they you know they were like my band of

brothers to be honest with you and and uh it got me out of my shell and created a new set of friends and then I ended up meeting my four-year boyfriend as a result of that but it wouldn't have happened if like I didn't get out of my circle and take the truth as like a gift I was like those are the those people who aren't listening they're the quietest ones the loudest ones the ones who are like oh fuck you you're a fucking slut you're a fucking whore it's all those things and it feels all-encompassing because like that's the loudest voices in the room that's what you're surrounded by but you're like oh if I take a step back out of this circle of people I'm gonna realize that there's all these other people around it and i'm just i'm in this little pocket of people who care

and there's all these people around who know but don't believe it or don't give a shit like and it's hard when it's those people who you also it feels it's betraying it feels like oh these are the ones that i was friends with and i knew and i trusted and you of all people shouldn't believe gossip yeah it should be people who don't know me and i think that's a lot of the time like this is happening in person with you but like you're not there like it's like this is like a hater in real life situation of being like when you confront people who like I'm very confrontational yeah and not like when if someone's talking shit I'm like hey can we like I heard and it's so much of oh my god fuck I didn't know that that you were gonna know that was me and I also assumed that you would

never approach me about it and it it completely blows up in their face exactly and so I think like if you can take that and I know that that's like so scary because you do feel like you don't have the upper hand here but you also did mention that you had two really good friends already two friends is more friends than i had in college like i think that it can feel it can feel like your friend circle has like completely like i don't know like gone down by like 99 and so it feels like your world is a lot smaller but when you can invest in those people that like really like you're saying with your friends like the ones who actually really care about you and all of that stuff i think you're gonna realize that like oh when i i can give them one i can tell

them like cut the fucking bullshit this is not this is not true this is not how it is and then you ignore it and it's gonna suck for the next girl that is but it's gonna move on it's gonna happen again this happens all the time totally just don't be the victim in the situation i don't i don't like when people are pushing other people around i'm like don't don't let them yeah and what's the worst that's gonna happen you don't have friends you can find you it's the same situation you're in now you have two cool friends and that's all you need like i agree they don't want a reaction that they're gonna they want to see you break down but the second you stand up for yourself i think they're gonna crumble and if not and they are still an asshole then it's like

okay cool like i don't care and then that's like i don't give a shit and go have that talk in like a truly empowered way whatever whatever that is for you i think you and i are like kind of stronger and tougher so you know it's like excuse me fucking say that to my face you know but if that's not your style empowerment just comes from like owning whatever words it is you want to say to that person so going up to them and even if that's hey i'm hearing these things why are you saying this you like you said he might just be so thrown that she even had the the like balls to come up and say that that he'll he'll be like oh and then kind of challenge that like dude why are you saying this you shouldn't be doing whatever is right for you yeah we're going on to don't blame them this

is when our listeners will call in with their own advice from previous episodes so if somebody was oh my boyfriend and i were squatting in my parents house for three years here's how we did it they would call in and tell us i love it give more we've got somebody from the episode with um rose we've got somebody that's calling we had somebody that called in that said that they um were into somebody that had murdered accidentally murdered someone it was her ex-boyfriend accidentally murdered someone take in mind get ready so this accidental murder he's a good christian boy so that's just fyi um so he was she kept reiterating the caller that he was a really good christian boy and that he had she found out through his they had broken up already and um she hadn't heard

about him in a while but then she heard from his mom who was like you should go check his facebook when she asked him at the grocery store asked her at the grocery store like how is he so she checked his facebook but oh he doesn't have a facebook it's his wife's facebook so she checked his wife's facebook and through the facebook status she found that he had accidentally murdered someone and was serving time he's been convicted is in jail like he's been charged guilty for um accidental murder is also her term not the jury didn't rule then she was like should I reach out to him like I just feel like this connection to him like I really feel like I just like what do I do like how do I get back in contact with him and then I mean what we didn't say on I mean we

safe to say she doesn't fucking listen to the episode anymore but like what we did like fetish for murder I was like that's that's all this is like it was insane so what the fuck is this one about we'll just listen hi Megan and Mel so I'm sending this message because I'm currently watching the episode the most recent episode with Adam Rose and um someone called in to give their own advice about the girl whose ex killed someone and you were super excited thinking that maybe they were in the same situation but it turned out that they wasn't so I have an ex-boyfriend that murdered someone a long long time ago we were together so I'm 32 now and I was maybe 15 16 I think when we were together um and then when I was around I think 20 years old I was working in

Italy and I got a phone call from like all of my family and my best friend telling me that he had been sent to prison for murdering an old lady um and he subsequently killed himself but um this girl that's thinking of reconnecting with her ex like come on get a grip I'm sorry I know I'm harsh, but the dude fucking killed someone for Christ's sake. Like walk away, walk far away. You don't want anything to do with someone like that. Like, hello, get some reality because that's just insane. I am so fucking happy that, well, my ex didn't kill me, for example. And I managed to you know escape that one like stay away come on anyway that's my thing and i thought you'd like to hear from someone who actually was kind of in the same situation have a good day

love the podcast love your videos bye oh my god yeah so the original call was in the episode with nikki limo and so this caller is responding to another caller's advice oh my god wow i mean i'm this is so mean but i'm like you literally dodged a bullet like an actual bullet yeah like or the back of a gun or a candlestick in the foyer like you dodged a lot i've made that joke so many times this week it's my go-to holy shit wow wow does it make you do you think anyone that you've ever dated could have killed somebody uh yeah there's a good chance of i was in a really abusive psycho relationship with a sociopath like he's a legit actual sociopath and i remember near the end he told me he had a gun and i was like oh god the fuck have you been you know and he is kind of

like he was a loose fucking cannon so i wouldn't be surprised if there's something somebody something he's done out there i think it's so crazy though like the amount of like i've told so many friends about this episode we've talked about it and almost all of my friends have somebody that they've dated that they're like oh i definitely have this guy that i dated that oh and i'm like god and it always is happening like in the young 20s oh and i'm like god what the fuck were we all doing i remember this crazy ex he actually said to me um this is what i was like okay i think there's something up um he said to me there's a song eminem and rihanna song that came out love the way you laugh yes and so he goes you know that song and it says uh if you ever tried

to walk out again i'd tie you to this bed and set this house on fire he's like that's how i feel with you and i was like romantic that's literally what i said i was like that's romantic but he was like in my house at the time so i was like oh god and like just super like don't fucking instigate this person right now but like i had to come up with the whole plan to get myself out of that relationship because he was psycho oh that's always how it happens the whole like now you have to like let all your friends know this is the plan we're all on this yeah but don't go back oh my god it's just attraction it's just fucking lust to go get some fucking dick somewhere else vagina whatever you're into look this person murdered somebody we're not here to say you know

that's like for a court of law to say if good or bad person okay that's not what we're here contending it's that you can think you can like somebody and not be with them oh yeah you can even love somebody and not be with them watch the ted bundy movie exactly you're like all right just see the person for for what they are and you could still love them from afar if you still are like trying to go that route or join a cult get over the love you know like there's yeah do something out not that you should join no do not join a cult you know but i mean like at that point rock climbing go do another activity that expends some of that energy that's clearly in you i more mean join a cult in the sense of being like no they would not join a cult like would you join

a cult do what i mean like be obsessed yeah i do but i just have to i know don't join a cult but i mean like if you're like if you're making this guy the exception like would you date any other like don't make him the exception like would you would you join a cult where like you're cool with someone murder like something like that like pick these other things are in the same field like would you do that like why are you making an exception for like this one fuck boy from like when you were 16 i mean i also don't want to get too too deep about it but like maybe there's something that you need to discuss that was our entire one definitely you know talk to i was like you got issues you need to go to therapy i go to therapy twice a week you need oh yeah i go

i go once a week i love it oh wow what a time easy well that's it um i hope you guys enjoyed this episode promo your shit oh my god thank you first how fucking awesome are you guys oh my god you're oh my god no you're fantastic we have to have you back on yes no you have to come on oh my god i love talking clearly um yeah you can follow me at natasha chandel on instagram um and the podcast is a kind of dating across the board, wherever you get your podcast. And we're at kind of dating on all social media. Hell yeah.

And for international people, we have kind of dating.com now. Oh, wow. Yeah. So the international, we love all the internationals. Um,

well, if you guys enjoyed this podcast, uh, and you liked it, um, rate us, we are everywhere. We can find where else we are on.

Don't blame me. Dot show. And then if you want to call in for an upcoming episode, you can leave us a voicemail at 3 1 0 6 9 4 0 9 7 6. and international listeners you can email us an audio file at meganpodcast at gmail.com follow us on instagram don't buy meme pod and our patreon has released um check it out join the team join the club it's like a cool cult but it's not a cult because like it's way more fun cult it's a group it's a group i know i just read an article about cults can you tell

my buzzfeed has really been catered to me also my buzzfeed article like my buzzfeed homepage is currently in french so there's only a few like i just go based on pictures right now so that's what i've been doing um uh check it out there it's fun time lots of chats lots of exclusive stuff so much exclusive clips so a lot of stuff from even from this episode that you guys have missed out on so uh yeah and we'll see you guys next week goodbye don't blame me as a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner production assistance by julie carley and music by ryan hunter and jacomo picasso part of the her pod network