Don't Blame Me! - S5E19: My Therapist Is Unattractive with Melisa D. Monts

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

  This week we're sharing advice on:    What to do if your friend is mad your hanging out with a guy she use to talk to Boyfriend doesn't want to get married Boyfriend can't stay hard Not having your medical conditions define who you are Update from the gal that got her back blown out from sex   Join our PRIVATE Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup  You must answer all questions correctly to be approved!   Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @dontblameme  https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/ @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa     Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,' PLUS exclusive bonus episodes.     Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I'll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Volvo is leaving the chaos of rush hour outside. Start by settling into your saddle-stitched Nappa leather seats. Notice the open space around you. Uncluttered, elegant, intentional, warm ambient light, and natural wood details to ground you. This is Volvo's Scandinavian sanctuary for every journey. Learn more at volvocars.ca. Optional features mentioned. Hey guys, this is Melissa. I just wanted to say that we recorded this episode before the Safer at Home Act was put in place, so you will hear Megan and I referencing that we are together.

We're together for this episode and the next episode because we recorded them in the same day, but after that we will not be physically together and practicing physical distancing, and you should too. Enjoy the episode. hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me if you're watching we are in my house we are we are comfy we are cozy oh you brought slippers i did i love that for you so cozy so for uh the foreseeable future if you're watching you'll be seeing inside my apartment so welcome inside if we go on lockdown we'll be skyping it yes we'll still be going we're giving you entertainment through all of this so uh at least for me i've been enjoying

podcasts not that i won't lie not that much of my life has changed minus like not being able to go to a workout class but um it's a it's uh we're gonna be continuing doing content for you guys so um i feel like that's the only time we need to address it right yeah yeah i don't want to yeah we're not gonna i don't want to say like buzzkill but we're gonna be a nice happy distraction yeah The episode that we recorded that you guys saw last week was meant for April, but we have to, we had to bump it up because we don't want to put our guests at risk or anything. Yeah. So without further ado, guys, this is Don't Blame Me, an advice podcast.

If you want to call in an upcoming, for an upcoming episode, that was English, leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. International listeners, you can send us an audio message at meganpodcasts at gmail.com. And what else? what's like a good fun uplifting like bit we can get into before we start i like math i rediscovered it are you fucking kidding me no i rediscovered that i really love algebra oh my god did you post it on your stories yeah what did you didn't you see it i did but like i i for some reason thought it was like you were tutoring your like little sis or something no she's not that old

she's only 10 she has not in algebra yet i i can't relate yeah i figured i was wondering why you didn't say anything i i truly thought that there was no way it could have actually been i saw a buzzfeed quiz that was like can you pass this math thing i got a hundred percent that's probably why i didn't because i i won't question anyone in their buzzfeed quiz taking because i've taken all of them um but not that no i probably have but i probably got two questions and then was like I feel really bad about myself I need to stop I I did a video like two years ago or something like that where I took like the practice SAT oh I saw that I did not do it granted I didn't do well the first like when I took it like when I was supposed to take it I did like fine like

mediocre um I also retook it three times I got the exact same score every time nice and I did the tutoring where if you don't go up like at least 200 points you get your money back I got my money back then i did it again that i didn't go up any points i got my money back again and then finally it was like yeah she's in physical parents and pay for you huh your parents didn't pay for you pay for me to oh no first of all did a did not give a shit uh and b could not have paid for that good god um but yeah it's tests were never my thing yeah which makes sense because i had to was not medicated at that point either which i wasn't good at any of it a lot of schools in the south don't do or don't require sat it's more act and um but i took the act and the sat

just you know to do it just to flex yeah well because act is more math and science right yeah yeah and it's a different way of answering the questions i forgot what's different but there the tests the way there's no written component right there's no written and that's the only part that i was really good at like i did great on the the reading and writing high above average it was just the math that brought me all the way down like i could not i think i kept getting i don't remember what the score was but like it wasn't good and i it was it stayed the fucking same interesting yeah it was not my it was not my prime but also i was not surprised and also during the ap test the first time i the only time i took the ap test for i was

only in one ap was english my contact ripped in my eye in the first five minutes then i had to take it out but then my depth perception was off so then i took the other one out so then i was like blind taking the test and so then i only did a third of the test and i still passed oh my ap test and i was like and i got the same score as my friends who finished the full thing and then i was like fuck i wish i could have put you are like really good at writing like matt like not not matt i can do like the writing and the reading stuff i can bullshit my way through that i don't think it's bullshit though you have the way that you write like i admire it um i'm not i'm not joking like the way that that you write it's very like it's personal but it's very um like it's personal

but like grammatically like telling the story in like a good way thank you yeah i can't write and not sound like myself i could never be a ghostwriter for anybody else which is i wanted someone to like help me write my book and then they were like no you sound very weird but like a good thing but like there's no one it's gonna be very obvious when it's like and stepped right in but thank you even in your little youtube things like when you've in the emails for people i was like i'm also like i good i read it aloud every time before i like when i write something down and then I read it aloud and I think it's also because I'm like very theatrical and dramatic that I like my writing I like when you if you were being asked to do it as a slam poem I want

it to like land yeah that's great which was great storytelling I think that's what I was looking for thank you this is great guys wow amazing compliments um well should we get into the calls sure I'll compliment you on your math skills but I don't know how to like I'm just sure you're great thank you hey um I'm having some trouble with uh one of my best friends from college I am 22 and there's a girl I've been friends with for the past four years she she had kind of a bad relationship that she got out of right when she met me and kind of you know credits me for helping her get out of the relationship and since I've known her she's struggled a bit with dating with nearly the guys not liking her back or like kind of ghosting her

that sort of thing and recently she started talking to someone who um my boyfriend is friends with and he's a really nice guy I really like him and things were going well for a while and then all of a sudden she kind of um just told me uh yeah no we're not like we're not talking anymore he's not good for me and during this time that they were talking I had had a class with this guy and had tried to you know talk with him because he was talking to my best friend and I just wanted to you know get to know him as well and so I had asked her you know why it didn't work out and she just said oh like you know I think he's a little selfish he's just not really good for me like I want to focus on me right now sort of thing and then kind of weeks later um my

the boy had reached out to my boyfriend asking him to hang out and my boyfriend invited him out to a bar we were all going to and the boy who my friend used to talk to had texted her saying hey me and um myself were going to this bar and asking if she wanted to come so he included my name and his name and asked if she wanted to come to this bar with us and she got very upset with me for you know hanging out with him and I had explained to her that you know he's friends with my boyfriend and I would never reach out to him on my own but because he's friends with my boyfriend I was uncomfortable you know being rude to him or ignoring him or saying no to come out so basically I've apologized numerous times but it's been about three weeks now and she still

hasn't talked to me and I don't know if I should reach out if I should just give her time to figure out on her own time but I feel like I didn't really do anything wrong here you know I apologized immediately after and said you know you're my main priority I never want to hurt you that sort of thing but yeah i'm just kind of struggling because i don't know if i need to apologize i don't know if i need to you know give her more space but would love any advice thank you um i don't know if we're gonna have what what are your thoughts on this i don't understand why the friend cares so much okay so we are going to be on different yeah um i figured we were going to be in this one um i i don't see like they were just talking there they weren't even like really together

you had a class with him you became friendly with him he's friends with your boyfriend i don't understand why this is a problem yeah i mean i don't think it's like a problem but i could see like if i was your friend and i was petty like i could i i my logic would be and i think a good rule of thumb in general is just if you gotta if something like that happens just get ahead of it like don't be the like don't be the guy who then can use you because like to be fair like he is kind of like puppet mastering to make her mad at you like there's no other like do you what i mean like i think like using that is just a little and especially because he said in the text that it was like hey let's call her like sarah like me and sarah are going to a bar if

you want to come as opposed to saying hey me and like Dylan Sarah's boyfriend are going to a bar Sarah might come if do you want to come like I just think like he intentionally like kind of stirred the pot a bit and if I were in your situation as like the friend I would have been as soon as your boyfriend got that text and told you I would have just texted your friend saying like heads up uh just got a text from whatever his name is Jackson I'm picking really like specific names that i'm not gonna remember sarah and jackson i got sarah jackson and the real the boyfriend is dylan so it's like hey uh dylan just got a text from jackson asking if we wanted to if like inviting us to go out to like the bar with him uh i know you guys like stopped talking

and like i didn't get a ton of details why but uh is it like i just want to give you and you don't even have to ask permission you can say like just giving you a heads up like letting you know or if you feeling like as so inclined to be like hey would you feel cool if i went i think that i think because i think that's really just it and if like you had done that and she was like still upset with you i think then i would infer that she's probably not telling you everything that happened with like the reason why the day ended um but i think that's the only thing that you can obviously you can't do it now but in general the only thing i think you can do to like prevent this kind of stuff is being i always prefer for it to come from me yeah at all times yeah i can see that

i can understand that part yeah and i think that it would just and i think the whole thing is is that like it is like innocent but i think he's making it sound like it's not not necessarily it's like oh i'm hanging out with your friends yeah i mean i think there is more to the story just because of the way they're both acting so something happened that it's so bad that they even though they were just talking and she thinks that he's selfish that yeah that it was um more than just like hey we're not talking yeah and i would also say a good rule of thumb is uh don't pursue a friendship with someone that your friend is like just talking to yeah immediately yeah yeah i get like you trying if you're gonna do that it needs to be coming becoming from a way

a point of view like I'm getting to know this guy better to see if he's good enough for my friend yeah and not in like I'm going to be his friend totally yeah I just think that it it just makes it messy and like I think if once you're like I would rather if I have a friend who introduced me someone that they're like talking to a lot of the time it's like hey what are your thoughts like do you like them and then if it's a friend who had most of like long distance friend who it's like hey I started dating someone I can't wait for you to meet them and get to know them as like a person as opposed to like pursuing your own individual friendship like with yeah because like it's just a different like pace and I think it can just end up weird and sticky and I've done

that where I've become friends with like a couple as they like just started dating and then I've only ever been able to stay friends with one half of them like it's just not so I would say I think i would also if she's still really upset with you i think i would um i don't know i i'm someone and this is only we can really give from opinion like our own opinions and what we would want here specifically especially when it comes to like should i keep apologizing and give her space i don't know her um but i or like really how close a friend you are either yeah she's her best friend though i know but like if that like that's your best friend but you don't know like the full story of what happened and yeah it does maybe it's like a group of best friends and it's

you're not you guys aren't as close close um but yeah and also if it was like a guy my friend used to talk to and immediately he texted my boyfriend and like asked to hang out i would immediately text my friend and be like guess what like like but i would also say that um for me personally i don't i think yeah i think a good a good rule of thumb is people who want space will ask for space but people who want attention and people who want apologies aren't going to really ask for it as much and so i think until someone acts like says hey i really would like some space i wouldn't assume that because like it's easier to ask for space than it is to ask for like validation and support um and that's what i always mott's instinct when i'm upset is to give me space

and i'm like unless i fucking ask for space and i will say it's you don't have to read into it i will say give me space i will want space he's like yeah but you never say that i'm like yeah because i don't want space i just want you to keep apologizing for like non-stop and then just make me laugh like that's what i don't want see i'm the opposite i'm like give me space and don't ask for it i'm but i don't say it though but i'm just like um i don't i hate people apologizing i'm just like don't apologize just do better yeah that's valid yeah yeah i think if it's someone i don't want to ghost then i would like an apology i would like an apology i don't know maybe it's different with dating no idea no i usually either i usually either want to never talk to you again

or i would like an apology like i just like apologize one time and then just do better after that oh yeah i don't like like keeping apologizing no that's true i maybe maybe i just like but that's also on a case like that's like it's not the the the regular but if i'm like pissed and he's like i'm sorry like do you want some space and i'm like no i would like you to put on see that's two things though it's i'm sorry do you want some space it's not just like i'm sorry and then a separate thing do you want some space you know what i mean yeah so i would say for her i would not i would just continue to like text her and reach out and like don't if she asks for space then like give it or even if in a text say like if you've already

texted a couple like a bunch of times and she hasn't responded or you've tried to call um then I would say okay I think that you want some space I don't want to like bombard you um I'll I'm gonna I'll text you in like a week or something and then give her space and then reach back out again but I would also double like I would just like look at your apologies again and see exactly what it is that you're apologizing for because I think the best apologies are wow I really fucked up you're right and that like seeing it from your perspective I could see how hurtful that is and I'm really sorry that I did that not I'm sorry if I made you feel you yeah because the end of the day you did and like it feels really sucky and even if you can't put yourself in her position

and you're like well I wouldn't care it she cares and like if it's your friend especially like you you usually know how they're going to react and you know how their mind works with that kind of stuff so I would just really apologize for all that stuff and then I think the best apologies are I'm sorry I fucked up I acknowledge your feelings and I feel really bad because of it and then this is how i should have done it differently and how i will do it differently in the future because i think that's a promising apology it's not just i'm sorry i did that and it's like well it's like i'm really sorry i did that i should have i should have texted you first as soon as he reached out to my boyfriend without any like qualifications like but they are friends

like just point blank i should have done this and that's also again if you really want to salvage the friendship because i think yeah i think i would also get down to the bottom of why they broke up because i think there's definitely a little bit more to it there and also it's just weird because you didn't say that like she got set up with your boyfriend's friend either do what i mean like every other relationship it felt like they're them talking started it yeah and then he got in a circle and i would be not fucking cool with that if i was her but i'm also petty yeah you know yeah that's that's why i don't think it's just like it was just been talking can't be it can't be at all no like something went down and also selfish is such a specific

word to describe somebody that you've only been talking to for a little bit of time like that you know i mean like you don't know them yet exactly so like it has to be from something you wouldn't be expecting that much from somebody that you're just 100 so like what is it in i mean my mind goes all like the shitty like really bad stuff yeah you know yeah like oh yeah you can't sleep with anyone else but i'm gonna fuck everybody it's like oh or that he's like yeah i like don't care about like female orgasms are a myth but you must suck my dick 24 hours can you imagine no i can't i mean i would die um well best of luck i hope in these times that's what we need in these times they're female orgasms the world would be a much better place if

every woman was coming yeah if you if you gave us political power and orgasms unstoppable unfucking be a different place it would it would um well i hope you guys work it out if you want to call in with an update or if you're part of our facebook group and you want to talk there if there's any more stuff that you can give us uh and yeah wishing the best for you guys on to the next so I just got out of my first therapy session with this woman I've done one other group of sessions before with another lady but I'm trying to find a new one since I'm in a new location and she was good like she I feel like she got me to stay a lot and she was really nice and like an expert on the topics that i was talking to her about which i feel like is

very important for um for therapy but this is so superficial and i i really hate that i'm even saying this but she's just there she's like bold and unattractive and honestly like okay yeah I really don't like saying this because it just feels wrong but but I also feel like you should really connect with your therapist and I just felt a little like uncomfortable in the sense that like I don't even know how to say it yeah pretty much she's just maybe just she's old like she's much older than me I'm only 20 and I feel like she should she might not understand as much like my age which this this all just could be an excuse but i guess i just imagined like having this pretty therapist and might be easier to talk to i don't know please let me know if you think

that's really stupid and superficial or if that's important or like if you've ever thought about that when picking a therapist um and yeah i love your show let me know what you think um maybe i just need to give her like a couple more sessions and get past it but yeah let me know what you think thank you get past her ugliness i'm like this is what i thought was going to be the first thing that you were going to say ready do you want to fuck your therapist that's yes that was in my mind the whole time like do you want you whoa whoa whoa whoa okay because here's the thing there are two very different things that you're saying here like wanting a therapist who is young and around your age that will understand like i don't want to say understand also i'm not going

to make any projections about who you are as a person but like something that's a huge a huge amount of like uh therapists who specialize in like transgender issues queer issues tend to be younger and i like my friends who go to therapy who are in the queer community tend to aim for therapists that if they don't have their specialties usually go for ones that are younger because more likely than not that's it's it's just how they've adjusted the curriculum of becoming like a register normal it's opposed to something that's like a new it's not like a specialty oh this is what i i have to like go out of my way to research it more if you've been more recently in school and done all of this stuff it's updated like everything's updated um but that's

not so you say the age thing is like the age thing is to be fair that's fine if you're but it's it's if you're worried that you've been talking to them and they don't understand you like you because of their age no oh i see your age yeah and you're not therefore not going to understand me yeah and you said that she was knowledgeable and what she was saying was relatable so that's not the thing why like it reminds me of like when i was six years old and there was this girl her can I say her name I don't even remember if it's a real name her name was Una and she was so pretty and she was in high school and I was like I want her to babysit me I want to look like her when I grow up and I loved her she looked like a Disney princess and I was

obsessed with her because she was just like this pretty girl who got to babysit me but I was six I don't give a shit she just looked like Cinderella like that was a happy and exciting thing but do you know what I mean like it wasn't like that's not like a prerequisite for any other person in my life and that's a thing that like as a little kid i wanted a babysitter who looked like a disney princess and not that there were like ones that did it was mostly just she was the one who's babysitting me and i thought she looked like a disney princess and i loved it and i was like oh my gosh but like what like i just think this is so fucking weird and like and it sounds like it's something you need to work out in therapy if you judge people like this based on their yes

appearance any like if you're doing this in therapy you're probably doing this in your everyday life like you don't want to hear you don't want to take advice and hear from a professional because you don't think that they are aesthetically pleasing to look at so then like do you surround yourself with anyone's do you validate anyone's opinions if you do not think that they are attractive right like i think it's just so so weird and there's definitely like a vibe that you should have with your therapist. And so when I was getting an individual therapist, which I don't have right now, I still just do my couples one. But when my couples therapist, when she was like, she was the one who had recommended me my, uh, first individual one, she very much was like,

okay, you have, she didn't say it. Like she was much more, she was much nicer about it. But the breakdown was you have mommy issues. And I think we should try to find a therapist for you that can be motherly to you I think that will benefit and then backfired and I was like you know what I don't think like and she was very much like I think you're either gonna need a therapist who's really motherly or I do not think that that's what you're gonna need but if you if it works I think that's gonna be it's really gonna work and it didn't work but like that's like if we want to talk about age wise like I wanted a woman and I wanted someone who like was like yeah kind of like a mothery sort of age but that didn't work out for me but it wasn't like I

got there and i was like oh you're like you could like be my mom like it wasn't that like and like when we when i ended up like not continuing to work with her it wasn't because of her age it was like oh we don't mesh and i think the next time i try a therapist i think i'll try someone who i don't see them as like a motherly kind of figure because that didn't work out so well that last time but that's not that's not what she's getting no she said that they meshed well and that's what I'm saying so like I think that there's a way to say that you like I think there's a a validity to wanting a therapist of like a certain age range and I'm saying I think my my like I think that was valid I don't think yours is at all I think it's and also like straight up

it's so mean like terrible it's so I don't think I've ever once like I don't know like looked at someone and been like you are ugly like thought that in my head like i've thought i'm not attracted to you to someone who i had that's what she said though that she wasn't attractive yeah and that's so weird the only time i ever think about in terms of if someone is attractive is essentially if i'm attracted to like only time i'm turned off is if i don't want to fuck you do you know what i mean like it's not like oh i shouldn't want to fuck your therapist which that's a whole other issue that some people do fall in love with their therapist but like i just this to me like i my mind goes to either like some sort of like you had like um uh older or like you had like a

a romand i don't know your orientation or what you whatever but like if you had some sort of like romantic thing with like an a babysitter who is like this hot pretty girl sort of thing or if you are incredibly insecure and like you like really need like you only want to you need like a like you want to embody I don't want to sound really bad but like my my therapist refers to it as like you can have people can have role models and then sometimes people who are have insecurities growing up and all of a sudden can have like a single white female style role model that it's like i want to be you and that it becomes like a very superficial surface level i want to mimic you i want to become you as opposed to like you're an inspiring role model and a great person that

i want to emulate or it's like a narcissist like just a fully blown like narcissistic thing of like i can't well you're not even saying you are but like yeah that you they can't associate with people that you don't find attractive i don't know it's so rude and like i i don't i don't get it like i don't get also like what does a pretty therapist bring to you yeah is it like her in your words unattractiveness is it blocking you from taking in what she's saying like are you distracted yeah oh my god yeah i think you need to figure out what this is yeah it's something it's there's some there's something that's triggering this in you and you need to figure out what it is i'm gonna level with you

though i think you should go to a different therapist and figure that out because i think if you say like that is so incredibly mean and like so then you go to like one that you find attractive and then you actually want to fuck them yeah and what do you do with that that's what i mean like what do you what do you like what does this bring to a situation like how does this benefit you because like you only want to take advice from people that you want to be like and that you want to emulate and then but also that is only valid that only goes to looks like i want to be my therapist i love my therapist i want to be like her when i grow up all the time that you want to be your friend i'm obsessed with her i think she's the greatest and she's so funny

and she's so cool and she's so awesome but like that's as far as it goes yeah like i wish she was my mom but i won't tell her that because i i mean i would tell i i like i always say i'm like i wish of my mom if you were older and she's like of course i was like yeah if you were super super old um but yeah i don't know and also just like this poor older woman i just like i love the i like one of my friends her therapist is very much like an old like sweet grandma and i'm like i love that that's that's that's the female approval i would like in my life yeah yeah so you need to figure this one out in therapy just not with this therapist because that is awful yeah it's so so awful and i just really also hope that i mean i think you need to work on this but i would also

urge you to work on this and self-reflect in the other aspects of your life that you do this in because it's that's so damaging to other people and even if you don't think you're saying something out loud to them people know people know it's judgmental and do you want people to judge you by the way that you look yeah and also people that you're judging by the way that they look they know it's not you're not keeping it in your head that's on it's on your face you're not doing a good like yeah it's you're causing so much damage and there's probably a lot of great people in the world that you're not letting in just because of their looks yeah i can't imagine the people you're surrounded with then because then also those like oh either those people feel like

so special because they've been picked and they're like good enough and it's like watching every step that they take or they're they're like that too and like it's just like you're bullying your therapist oh um well goodbye hi megan i'm guest or melissa whoever um so i have been with my boyfriend for nine years um i'm 24 and he's 26 and we got together whenever i was about 14 um and we are still long engaged um or anything and I don't really know how to feel about it I guess um we talk about marriage a lot and we have talked about marriage over the years a lot and I know that he wants to get married he knows a hundred percent knows that I'm ready to be married I was ready like a full

two years ago I've been ready this whole time um whenever we were in he lived with me in college I know you don't like that Megan but we you know he moved with I lived by myself in college for like a year and then he moved there with me because I lived in a different town and I really thought that he was going to propose whenever we were whenever I was in college he is still in college and not making great money I have a full-time job now and I pay for everything I pay for our apartment our cat like I pay for all of it because um I make significantly more than he does obviously and that's only fair I'm not upset about that at all I'm just giving you context but I think part of it might be financially and I have asked him several times over the past

year like what's the hold up and that kind of thing um and he basically just says you know uh well you know before like a year ago whenever I asked it was that he felt kind of like he wasn't sure maturity wise if he felt ready and the reason he said that is because he moved out of his parents house really late I moved out you know whenever I turned like 21 because I'm uh transferred to a university but he was still he's still in community college now um he was a little bit late to the game with college and everything which is fine um but so anyway recently whenever I asked him he felt like it was a financial thing I guess I guess he just feels like he wants to support the financially like supportive or feel like he can support me which is honestly i think it's

fucking bullshit but whatever i don't know what to do i'm a little bit frustrated and i don't want to pressure him because i know that that will not lead to a good marriage so um if you just give me some advice and like your uh opinion on the situation that would be great thanks megan bye i'm really confused how you can say all of that and be confused well actually i think there's like several things that could be going on here either he doesn't want to actually marry her he's too comfortable in their relationship as it is right now because they've been together forever it's a financial thing like as far as like he can't support both of them or it's like why mess up a good thing when she's already paying for everything

wow i mean that is yeah it could be all i mean i think if we're gonna play uh like from the team of your boyfriend i think it's the maturity and financial thing are both legitimate things i don't like and being you being like well i don't like okay like not it's getting married is just as much about him as it is about you and so him not feeling ready it doesn't matter how ready you feel or how much money you're making it doesn't make up for the fact that like he needs to feel good about himself and where he's at in his career and happy with his career like it's just as valid he might not be you pay for everything he can't afford a ring he can't afford a wedding like he doesn't want you to buy your own engagement ring and to like and to pay for your own wedding

and he's in community college too so that means busy he's busy and like is he like getting an associate's degree or does he want to get a bachelor's degree that's still another two more years on top of what he has to finish now like there's a lot going on yeah i think like yeah i just think that that's you guys have been together for so long and i think that that and i'm assuming that you live in a place where like your friends are getting married or something like that but if you're just going based off the amount of years you've been dating like well yeah you started dating when you're 14 like i don't know any 24 year olds who got married personally but like it also could be that like all of the rest of your friends are single and it's like well we've

been dating for nine years like and it would be a financial strain and it would be like a really big change and a push of that like it's something that's going to inevitably happen in a couple years when we're ready like why push it when we're not necessarily like when one half of us is not necessarily ready like i just yeah you shouldn't force anybody into doing something that they're not ready to do yeah because it's he's just gonna end up resenting you like you shouldn't yeah put that pressure on him and also you the idea you saying like well he wants to be able to like support out like i'm all for women supporting themselves but i also understand that like he wants to be able to support he wants to bring something else like he he can't even he doesn't

even support himself right now exactly and it's like in the idea that like you want him to like you guys you want to get married and like at this point it sounds like you're paying for everything you would pay for the engagement ring and you would pay for the wedding i that doesn't feel it's not i mean saying like emasculating to him i wouldn't feel good if i got married and someone else paid for my whole wedding yeah i wouldn't feel good about that it's not it it's not it doesn't make it comfortable and then it's just like then you put him in an awkward position too of like he can't really say no to anything because it's all you it's you putting up all the finance for it and it's a joint it's a it's a joint thing yeah it should be you guys making

a union and not about just like you want to get married yeah but i i don't know i think if you had said any other like excuses or reasons that he didn't want to get married like but the two you've said are so incredibly valid that i don't think that this is him not wanting to get married to you I think it's like he didn't want to get married in college because he moved out of his parents place late and like he didn't feel like an adult yet like and he didn't feel like fully mature enough yet to like and I don't even want to say this in a sense of like you have to be a like everyone can get married whatever age they want but like I think the common denominator is like you feel ready and you want to and I think a huge part of that is like

feeling secure as an adult and I don't think he feels secure as an adult yet I think he's like getting his footing with all of that and I don't think that's how he wants to be as a husband I think he wants to like I've tackled adulthood I feel like I've got a grasp on it as much as you fucking can and like now I feel ready to become a husband I don't think he's wants to learn how to be an adult and a husband at the same time which is very very very very valid yeah and it's expensive if you want to marry him then you can wait like just be patient if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with a couple more years doesn't mean anything and a couple more years for him to feel confident and secure in what he's doing and happy with a job

and like him to feel excited about it like marriage it doesn't change that much in that extent that like like rushing into it does nothing for you do you mean like i don't even know what you're gonna get out of that and i don't think that you will i think in theory in your dream world he would be just as stoked as you are right now but i don't think he's gonna get stoked and when he does then it's great but like sure if it's another like five years and he's got a great job like you're financially both financially stable and all of that kind of stuff and like he still doesn't want to then reevaluate that but like he has all of the excuses he's given you all the reasons he's given you are completely legitimate agree yeah oh god and also like

i don't to be i don't know many a people who i asked mots if i got a brand deal for an engagement ring if he would take it and he was like uh i don't think i could like i would just feel weird like i just that's just like a like a sponsor like that like do you think in that sense like i think there's not even emasculated but there's some there's some things that like because it should be a gift that you're giving to someone and not and I think it's also rep it represents I I'm like I'm at a good plate this is a this is something that has and again if you want to but this is something that has value and I can afford to do like it I think it's symbolic of like yes your love or whatever it's also symbolic of like I'm mature enough and able to do this and I'm

choosing to do this but yeah i wouldn't but i do understand that if you've been dating for so long it feels like what's one more thing yeah but pull back i want him to be like feel and i we don't use this term for men a lot but you want him to feel like empowered and like confident yeah and i don't it doesn't sound like that's what he feels like and that's insecure too has nothing to do with your relationship it just has to do with him and where he's at in his life and you would we would never give you the advice on the opposite end either if like you weren't feeling confident and secure and it was like no just marry me anyway yeah just say yes yeah um and if in the meantime if you need to like you know unfollow lots of like bridal pinterest

accounts oh you know she has her own board yeah i mean i've got mine i know but you're not like pressuring no every time he looks over my phone he goes is this a subtle hint and i was like no just pretty dresses i looked at one and now my entire instagram explore page is covered in them they're very fun i think i want to be when i get married i want to be i want to have like a pretty oh excuse me sorry like a pretty um very like weddingy dress and then for like the reception i want to be like a fucking whore like i want to look like a thought like i've said that i want to look so i want to be like wow she's a whore that's what i want to look like Yeah. Like I'm about to, I put it down before we even got to the reception.

That's exactly what I want to look like. And Watts was like, okay. And Kyle was like, yes, glitter nipple tassels. And I'm like, that's a fuck yeah. I'm about it. There has to be some nudity. I know there, especially cause right now. Um, well, um, stay patient. Yeah. And if he's the one, then yeah, he's worth waiting for yeah sweet um is it time for a break hey guys we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back

oh we're back yes we're back didn't see you there um let's get into the rest of the calls i'm 20 and my boyfriend's funny and we've been dating for around six months um before we started dating he was a virgin and i was i'm not super experienced with sex but had been with one other person beforehand um but basically we've been having some issues because he has been having a lot of trouble staying hard um and this has been a thing kind of since the beginning of our relationship and i thought it was because he was on antidepressants but then he told me recently that he's not anymore um and when he can get hurt the sex is it's good but like he doesn't last very long and we've also been having issues because um he cannot come from me giving him head it just

like has not happened and I've like tried really hard and like I've been doing all the things that I know to do and I thought I was good at getting blowjobs because the last guy I was with told me I was and I was also always successful in my attempts with him um so I don't know it's just kind of discouraging and makes me question my abilities and like I don't like I feel like he's not getting hard on me because when he says it's not about me and I totally want to believe him but then I get insecure about whether or not he's attracted to me um it also makes it hard to like try new positions and stuff when he gets discouraged because he can't stay hard and then he doesn't want to try new things so we just end up doing missionary and that doesn't really do much

for me and it's just kind of boring and I want to try new things and have a really good sex life but um we're just not really there right now um and you know he does he's really good at like getting me off and doing other things like to make sure I'm getting what i need but um yeah he just recently asked me to take a break from trying to um give him blowjobs because it's stressing him out so that he can't come so i know it's kind of taking a toll on both of us and i just want us to have good sex um but i'm not the most experienced and i don't really know what to do so and i've tried all the advice from your podcast about blowjobs and everything and i don't nothing's working so um yeah just causing some issues and any advice would be

greatly appreciated thank you i mean i feel like this is i don't want to say simple but six months you've been dating for six months and he just went off antidepressants are still it's still in the system and especially you didn't say how long he was taking it yeah like it's going to take a while to get out of his system um I also would I don't I mean you didn't I I would have an open conversation with him about also just mental health and like in general because I think you you know he was on antidepressants if you know why he's going off them if he's switching to a different one or if he has if he's going off them because of this or if he had always been wanting to like wean off of them because also as much as like antidepressants

can they do affect like sex drive they affect like libido they affect like getting hard all of like arousal and all that stuff so does being depressed right so like there is this like fine line in between that kind of stuff so i would be cautious if that was the whole reason why he went off them and then that's there's so much like getting like getting off of that stuff like that's it's hard like it's there's so much other stuff that goes along with it so i would really focus on like being there for each other like emotionally and then i think that there'll be less pressure with the sex stuff but i think also as i mean obviously it's so hard to not take it personally um and like objectively yes it's not about you it's not about how attracted he is to

you but like it's totally normal to feel that way like there's no like i would be i would applaud anyone who could like suck a dick and not have them come and then just be like really remove your like your ego from the situation i wouldn't be able to do that but i would remind yourself that like if he's going down on you and getting you off he finds you attractive like nobody's just gonna eat a pussy for no reason no not at all so like think about it in that sense and i think that like i think the break will probably be good because like that is a lot of pressure on him and i think just following his cues and like listening to him and then also just having like open conversations about prior to all of this stuff what were the kinds of things that

did turn him on like is it porn like is it like maybe like mutual masturbation like all of these other things that you could do that aren't um that i don't want to say puts it more on him but like it kind of makes it like he's a little bit more in control and doesn't feel like it doesn't make you feel like you're not pleasuring him and him then worrying that you're thinking that he's you're not pleasuring him and all of that sort of stuff if you guys can kind of like separate that i think like yeah mutual masturbation just watching porn together or finding like just like talking about things that are like sexy and then not necessarily like having sex but like just keeping that air to it i think would be a good yeah i and i i think with you

saying like um changing positions and things that it's you can't do it and it's boring and but he can't um get hard any other way it might be like a control thing because it's in missionary he's on top and he's controlling everything so um kind of sex yeah that's when say give him time and then get like a sex toy and you can get ones that attach to him or they don't attach and you can vibrate on you vibrate on you vibrate on you yeah um but there are there's other ways that you guys can explore and play with each other and get to know each other's bodies better that puts a lot less pressure on him and that's going to take out some of the mental aspects get your tickets now for the dog stars it's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear go out there kill or

be killed jacob elordi there are people out there they need our help josh brolin shoot first and inquire afterwards margaret qualley okay tough guy and guy pierce arm up the dog stars directed by ridley scott in theaters friday get tickets now yeah yeah i think that's that's just it really um but yeah i would yeah i would i would also just i don't know like i said check in mentally like mental health wise because that kind of stuff too because if he is if that's why he wanted to get off the antidepressants um there's there's still underlying issues that are there yeah and that it's not necessarily like it's it's it's very twofold of like they can make your sex drive and libido good all of that sort of stuff but like yeah so can being depressed in general

um but yeah and i yeah i would also focus on like validation and reassurance that aren't like sexual between you guys i'm even just like texting him and being like you look so cute today like i really like you like what all of that stuff and like vice versa so you both are feeling like a secure and valued in relationship and that sex right now like it's not the only most important thing yeah but yeah best of luck um and i i hope you guys have we wish you good wet sex in the future yes very much so and we're patient for you get a vibrator um i'm 22 and i have two major chronic illnesses um like megan i also have endometriosis megan is actually the reason why i asked my doctor about and got tested for endometriosis so thank you for that um

and i also have narcolepsy which is a sleep disorder that basically influences every part my life um google it it fucking sucks but um I'm figuring it out and I just like have a lot going on in my life and right now to me it feels like um you know I just I'm a fucking woman who wants to fuck and have sex and that feels good to me right now and that's something I want to do so um I downloaded Bumble and I'm going on this date with this dude who's super fucking cool um it seems very chill he's like very sarcastic and politically angsty like I am and that like back and forth was there um and I basically am asking how to tell him um about my situation because for me it's really important um to be open and honest with people because it normalizes

it for me I think it's important to normalize it for other people and also like this is a huge part of my life it affects literally everything um you know I'm on medication I I'm on medical leave right now but I'm like taking classes part-time I have a cat I live on my own like I have amazing family and support system and I'm doing really well um and that being said like it still is a really big thing but I don't want it to define me in his eyes because um I'm trying to fuck this dude and I don't want to be treated like some breakable thing or something that he needs to fix because I'm not I'm like doing really fucking great I'm in therapy I have told my therapist about this podcast and she now listens to it by the way um and yeah like I'm okay and I think part

the reason why i want to fuck is because i like for me my sexuality is something that helps me feel in control and that like i can't control and it it's just like a really important part of my life and i want that back and like feeling sexy and like that whole side of me is something that i miss now because i've been sick and i have other things to worry about so um just any advice on all any of those would be really appreciated okay thanks love you guys bye i love being told when people love us so nice and by her she told her therapist and therapist and allison's wow that's that's amazing um i dated a guy that was narcoleptic and i forgot about it to right now so it did not define who he was i had no idea that's where you were going holy shit that's

yeah i've never you really i've never heard about this because i mean so you really forgot like yeah i've never heard about this yeah i've talked about him to you before no that's what i was gonna say i feel like i might know others but i yeah yeah yeah um so i don't think and he like we'd be watching a movie or something and he'd fall asleep and i just knew that that he had narcolepsy so i didn't think anything of it you know yeah like i knew up front i actually like i think i got to know him first and then he told me later and it was just like random while he was yeah he dropped it like we were going to a movie and he's like hey i might fall asleep during this because i have narcolepsy i thought i was gonna say though i think that like first of all if you

just want to fuck someone you don't want to like you said that it makes you feel like impact like all that kind of stuff but like also like you don't have to like if you're just like fucking someone i think the the time in which is uh if it's someone you want to date or even if it's someone that you just you do like people that you're around knowing it should be yes when you're comfortable but i think a good timing for that um is when it could potentially come up so if like you have like vagina pain from endometriosis i would let like i would let your partner the person you're sleeping with no heads up like i i can and and if it's whatever how you work through it whether it's like sometimes I might need to stop and you might need to go slower and need like a

ton of lube or there's some positions that just don't work for me um and then the same thing like yeah if it's like while we're watching a movie or something like that I think the only thing is like put yourself until you know someone well don't put yourself in a position in which uh like either your endometriosis or your like narcolepsy could put I don't want to say put you in like a dangerous position but like yeah if you like I wouldn't I don't yeah I wouldn't I wouldn't tell someone i wouldn't go do a date like go like put yourself in a situation in which it could potentially be dangerous not because you haven't told them yet but just because you don't know them well enough and you could pass like go to sleep somewhere and that's not and that's not safe at all um

especially like if you're just trying to fuck them and you don't want anything else from it and you just fall asleep after sex then yeah you're there or they're there if you're at your place they're still at your place so yeah yeah you you should be careful yeah and even if that means that like if you have like certain i don't know how what yours is like but if you have like certain like narcolepsy like triggers like if it is like oh uh like late at night oh if it's like move like like moving car like certain things like i and i'm literally pulling off as the only like information i know about narcolepsy is literally from a girl who's on the bachelor and she like made an Instagram live and I was like this is interesting and I watched the whole thing but

like so she was talking about like her like triggers for that kind of stuff and so if you have like specific ones like that I would avoid those and that sort of stuff but then even if it's like oh I'm only going to like sleep with dudes at my apartment and you live alone with a cat but if I'm gonna have invite a guy over I'm gonna tell my friend what time he's coming over I'm gonna text the time that he gets over there make sure the location's on my phone and they're gonna call me two hours or three hours later and that like just setting up that kind of stuff um but i don't think i don't think unless the guy's an absolute dipshit i don't think he's gonna like try and fix you or like treat you like you're like a delicate and like a broken because like

yeah you'd have to be an idiot like and is this he's he like a neurologist like what like what's he gonna bring to the table um but yeah i think if you go after they're definitely like not in not in like um a parental way but there are some people that like really love like people they can take care of like men and women like everyone like there are just sometimes people who like they really get off on that kind of like control and stuff like that it doesn't sound like you're even gonna end up going on like it doesn't even sound like you're gonna talk to guys like that yeah so i wouldn't be so wary of that you sound like what you're attracted to is guys who are going to be like mature adults and understand this sort of stuff but yeah it's i

think whenever you're comfortable um and you're in a situation in which it is like pertinent and i think like you said with your ex where it's like hey we're going to movie fyi i might fall asleep yep i've got narcolepsy it's like okay because it's not like i don't know i don't think it's, I think it's just about your comfort and that's whatever, like your partner or whoever you're with, they just want to make sure that you're okay and you're comfortable and you don't want to scare them or, and put them in a situation where they don't know what to do and they can't help you. They're like, even if you like take it back to like being diabetic or something, it's like, if you're going to spend an extended period of time with someone, they should probably know

that even if you're not, if you've met, if you're not wearing a medical ID bracelet, if something, god forbid happen that they could be able to help um and also if you're just fucking people make sure your friends know where you are at all times too oh yeah and if you don't answer in a certain amount of time then they need to come get you yeah i wouldn't i would i would hook up with people at yeah i mean my mind says your place but at the same time like it's the same it's the same thing yeah and they can also steal stuff from her yeah it's still like there are risks in either one but i think it might be easier if your friends show up yeah if you're at your own place and they have a key to your apartment or something i think that would be like a safe and smart bet um but you

sound like an incredibly smart person yeah so i yeah i i i'm i've i've high hopes i have high hopes for you and you're fucking it's gonna be good i'm excited for you very excited for you have a good time stay safe yeah i was gonna say thank you for the recommendation oh my god wow i feel validated yeah so much my therapist doesn't listen and i'm like i mean maybe she shouldn't no i told her she should watch my hacking i told her if she ever wanted to watch anything but i did she should watch my hacking video because it's pretty good and she was like do you want me to watch it do you think it'll be helpful and i was like no i think it's i'm funny and she was like i know you're so well done exactly but i was like if you get bored you

you want her to be proud of you i do this which i think she is she likes me we're friends as much as you can be if you're there friends with boundaries friends with boundaries we're the kind of friends that she's like if you weren't my patient we would be friends and that's all i need like i don't need more friends but i just need someone to say i would be your friend yeah that's enough i don't need you to actually be my friend okay update time we have an update that's what update means yes and so the update today is from the girl who said that the guy blew her back out okay so that originally happened in like the beginning of december and a lot has happened since then so essentially i'm going to try to i made a little sticky note so i'm going to try to

answer a couple things that you guys mentioned and then i'll go into what's happening now so his penis size was like probably eight inches um I tore just in my low back um and it was either from missionary or writing which was pretty gentle but then it got pretty intense and I think the adrenaline just took over so I didn't really feel it um so it turns out that he had some pretty crazy trust issues from a cheating ex I had no idea about and he blew up on me for having really close friends that were guys and told me that I couldn't be friends with them if I wanted to be with him and then everything just kind of fell apart from there um even from there he so for Christmas he gave me this really nice blanket and then called me a month later asking

me if he could have the blanket back but then ended up showing up at my house while I was several glasses of wine drunk I opened the door and I was like okay hello and he goes off about how he's so sorry start kissing me telling me how he wants to see me soon we talk through everything everything's great and then as he's leaving my house asks me for the damn blanket so give him the blanket push him out the door I'm like don't talk to me again like that was so just stupid like that was a gift he gave me I know that's dumb but um so since then that was the beginning that was like two months ago and then a month after that he contacts me again and he's like telling you this is me and he's sorry again and I was just kind of fed up at that point even though I still really am like

However, he'll show this guy in probably two months now since we were actually together. Long story short, about two weeks ago, I drank a little bit too much partying. I'm in college, obviously, but I partied with some friends near his apartment complex. Showed up on his front porch. I'm running out of time, but he told me he missed me, told me he was sorry, picked me up, like rubbed his nose on my nose, like all cute, you know. and he was wearing my hair tie as a bracelet so can we talk about what we think about that also then made plans with me to get coffee then told me that he's seeing someone new and canceled the plans because she didn't want him to see me so i texted him told him how i felt

that i'm in love with him and everything like five days ago haven't heard anything back help me please what the hell i'm sorry what the hell the hair tie is the least of your concern i'm sorry she's confused she's surprised and confused like ma'am what first of all you did not answer our questions no questions were was he holding your low back while your back was arched and you were not engaging your core and therefore that's what hurt your back i feel like this was i feel like the first call was all a lie i feel like i feel like he has a a little penis i feel like it was bad and she got like rug burn and chafing and it was hurting and then her back unrelated her and then he did not blow your back out he he is what i'm just what

i'm sorry first of all i just i'm really not over the fact that like if you're all listening i mean you're listening to this right now everyone should just rewind again but as i just need everyone to like let's go back and think about the fact that she does the whole call and then we get to and then i told him how i felt like you know i'm in love with him what biggest fucking plot twist of all time you're in love with him he sucks and you know the only reason why i know that is because you told me he sucks and obviously you're in love with him i just can't even form words you're not in love with him and you're like help what what what like what's happening i don't know you did this what are you doing are you're oh my god this is why you don't drink wine in college yeah these

are the girls who drink wine in college look that's exactly what i was saying you know what this is this is like it is one of those like it is like uh and everyone who's like oh my god i drink wine in college don't judge me it's like the the 35 year old women trapped in like a 21 year old body and so it's like i'm gonna fuck but i love you like it's like like telenovela like i feel like you dump glasses of wine on people i mean as as she was saying this because i know she told us in the last call that she was a nurse and i was trying to think about how nurses are not just nurses but like how this would unfold on a soap opera since i'm an officiato of general hospital and i feel like her name would be mckenzie yeah there's not any mckenzie's on gh but um

um this is too much like the fact that you allow all this drama in your life just tells me that you love drama they were just fucking they weren't even dating no and like what was the deal with this fucking blanket too i'm what and this was also all that stuff happened in december yeah also then christmas happened in december too so like that but what this all like the first time that he basically said he didn't want to be with you that should have been the end of it but you just kept coming back for more and you kept allowing it you can't open yourself and allow yourself to invite bullshit into your life no and there's nothing i find like you have no ground to stand on and i do not feel bad for you when someone shows up at your door and you're like

fuck this dude slam the door fuck you get out of my face actually like i'm hella down like it's like you can't talk this big game of being like no go away i don't need you like you're a piece of shit like it makes no like i no no i'm gonna tie it back to the bachelor one of the girls on the bachelor was like ultimatum if you sleep with any of these other girls i'm out guess what he did fucked all the other girls guess what wasn't out and i was like give an ultimatum go for it you just have to fucking stick to it nothing pisses me off more than like i'm done for now i'm coming back you ready like it's just just don't say it in the first place also there's another girl involved in this too oh my god that and also she's like why isn't he responding because he's busy

with his girlfriend yeah and he played you like i don't understand why you don't understand that he literally said what you wanted to hear so he could get the stupid blanket back and then left and was like my girlfriend got mad that i was here no he was oh i don't know what this the significance of this fucking blanket is i but it means something to him also that hair tie could have been any fucking hair tie oh my god you're so right shut the fuck up i didn't even think about it like that unless you have like an etsy scrunchie business and this is like a custom fucking scrunchie can you imagine it's a scrunchie he's a visco boy i'm dead he has a puka shell necklace on oh my god like what also again it is so it is just so weird to me how you can like talk all this

mad shit on him and then be like but obviously i love him and it's like no you don't you don't even know this dude all you've done is fucked him one time and then he's fucked you over several you hate him you don't love him and like you have to love drama you have to because otherwise this like you would not keep inviting this shit back into your life that is so melodramatic this is what i want you to do if you're 21 switch over to a different alcohol yeah no wine is not your drink no because it's just making you sad and doing sad things you're just a sad girl making you like a divorcee like it's making you like this like vengeful sad divorcee number two delete his number don't answer yeah block him don't answer anything that he ever like send you ever in life

don't accept any gifts from him get on a dating app like and like be changed to vodka and get on a dating app number three focus on school yeah yeah this is just i just can't you hurt my heart like do you listen to this podcast regularly like in what world you think that you were gonna call in and we were just gonna be like i love him too you know what you gotta figure out how to lock this dude down that was never gonna happen no and also you were doing so well with the first call you really blindsided us like we you like why would you why it's like you eased us in and then you're like pivot actually psych girl reevaluate your life oh my god also your friends must not watch reality tv they just watch your life they're like oh my

god i'm gonna train right i can't i can't dude i cannot and also again we really didn't get the questions answered about your back just again physically the only time that was not an update at all that was you should have just just called back home with a new also you never even needed to tell us it was the same dude it is irrelevant that he like that he has a big dick i don't think he does anything also like can you even gauge eight inches in your head all right you know what i mean like if you if someone said how big is that guy's dick would you be able to say it in inches no unless he had a fucking ruler no unless i knew unless he told me how big it was would i only be able to say how big it was maybe a few because we know that the iphone

11 is like i think seven and a half no it's not that big did you see there's like this thing on tiktok that's saying that your span between like your uh pinky and your thumb is like how big like guys dicks are and it's like just not true at all but there was some guy on tiktok being like yeah so true this is how big and he was like nobody don't believe it it is very true my dms are open and it's like not true at all but he's like trying to be like i got big hands yeah but i also think like my pinkies like will pop in and out and i'm like like how big mine would be yeah it's a fucking schlong yeah and we're not saying hard i think they're just saying mine'd be a little cutie guy you would have a cute dick it'd still be yeah

whatever mott's hates any of the like uh penis hand correlations because like i have huge hands and he doesn't have like massive hands and he's wonderful penis does not have a small penis but like he anytime there's like oh you know hands he's like can we not i don't i don't like those ones it makes him insecure because he can't just like whip out his exactly and so it's not like no it's not it's just because like to be fair like he does have small hands like just like just doesn't have big hands i mean you guys wear like the same size shoe so it is that is true granted to be fair i have no arch in my foot so i think i would usually i would probably be like an eight and a half but like yeah it's it's always very funny when any

hand stuff i like will do this and he's like don't and i'm like hey my dick would be bigger than yours um wow so we're gonna need um i'm gonna need you to i think changing your alcohol of choice is gonna be good and i think you need to watch some reality tv and not live it yeah jeez louise i feel like you made me uncomfortable and i love reality tv like i watch all the real housewives and i watch soap operas and i watch primetime soaps so it's just like the fact that you shocked me like this is somebody that lives this type of life in real life unprecedented i also want a picture that you're drinking red wine so your teeth are stained too it just adds 100 there's nothing funnier than like a on reality tv a drunk woman with red wine

teeth oh that happened in an episode i was looking at real housewives last night so whole lips and then the woman she was talking to usually wears contacts but she had gone swimming so she'd taken her contacts out so she had she didn't know that it was as bad as it was then somebody like came downstairs and was like girl you have you look like the joker stop it that's so funny it's always when it dyes the gums and it's like you look like you have gingivitis yeah it is i also just love this is, I feel like this is going to be one of those moments where, um, like I'm going to relate back to the bachelor. The mom on the bachelor was like being so like, she was just like, so extra Peter's mom. And I was like, Oh, she's definitely a cancer. And I got all these people in my DMS

being like, Oh my God, I'm a cancer. Yeah. She did. Like, it's not a flattering thing. And I feel like if you're a, if you're a college wine drinker, I feel like you're going to be like, this was not flattering. And I agree. Amanda's nodding her head. I just feel like it. Cause like if i had powered through my sadness when i drank wine in college this would have been me you know what i mean this would have been me i didn't touch the glass of wine until i was older yeah me too and sleepy like i'm not a type of i'm the type of person like if i have one glass of wine i'm going to sleep but this is why i think people drink wine and then watch reality tv it's because like you just become like a like a like a wealthy yacht owner just like holding it like and if you

have the fucking uh crate and barrel like long stem like big ones like olivia pope you're 100 there just being like i'd fuck the president not this president but like if the president was not like it just it just gives you there's there's a it's a wine confidence yeah that you're like i'm gonna fuck up some lives starting with my own all you eat is popcorn oh my god yeah in theory you'd think i would like one because i do love popcorn but i don't like my own i don't like drama in my life yeah yeah no you gotta switch your drink well um best of luck give us a call back you don't hate us and uh yeah that's it for our episode guys if you want to be on an upcoming episode you can give us a call at 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send

us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com if you want to listen ad free we're on stitcher premium and if you want to watch the video version if you want to watch it again you've already listened watch it it's on youtube audio version everywhere else you listen and leave us some review we would love that on the podcast app it makes our lives and one of my other favorite things that people do is if you um in your review let us know who you're either your favorite guest was your favorite um episode i think that's always interesting yeah i'd like to know who's who's the most memorable it's like we should know i was gonna say we should make it like a don't blame me yearbook i'm i've been in quarantine for a week and i'm like i want a project kind of fun

i was on yearbook well you should update the website that's what you should do that is what i should do i keep forgetting i'll make a to-do list yeah um well your book yes oh my book comes out on may 5th guys and if we're still quarantined you're gonna need some more content read it pre-order it it's available on amazon and if you are uh not a fan of amazon you can pre-order it from barnes and noble and lots of other places digital version audiobook all of that stuff and follow us on instagram and yeah that's it that's it goodbye don't blame me as a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts camera operator amanda lechner and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso