Don't Blame Me! - S5E6: Guest: Jessi Smiles - Dog Licks Sheets After Sex

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

Jessi Smiles joins us this week to answer your questions on what to do if your co-worker acts coldly around the guy you’re dating, how to handle your boyfriend making fun of your fake tan, easing your boyfriend’s concerns about selling feet pics, and confronting your boyfriend about his addiction to porn. In Don’t Blame Them a listener shares their own advice on constant UTI and cuming one way. Join our PRIVATE Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup  You must answer all questions correctly to be approved! Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @jessismiles__ https://twitter.com/jessismiles__ @dontblameme  https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/ @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa   Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,’ PLUS exclusive bonus episodes. This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]  … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I’ll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you’re under 18, please get your parent’s permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can’t blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me today is an episode that's really fucking exciting for me because you have been on the list of people i've wanted to have on no i have no no this is the whole thing i was talking to lily about it and then she was you know she moved back right and i was like no because i was only watching your old videos oh my gosh i had no idea you had moved back here wow well i mean in your defense it was a couple months ago okay no it was true and i this is lily i talked to i think it was right before i reached out to you and i was like pitch you're here oh it's jesse smiles everyone i'm so sorry if you're not watching nobody knows but um why why did you want to help me because a i found out you had a

beauty channel that lily told me about then i lily's also your publicist by the way yeah i love that for me so then i was watching those and i was like this is so interesting i'm enjoying this and that's how i discovered kathleen lights through you yeah and then i was like watching all of your zodiac shit and i was like oh god we are all the same um and i was like i mean i'd know i had known you before that and i was like i just think you'd be really good on this well thank you um i was mentioning to her before i'm scared of hurting people's feelings but they're not here that's the part like you're watching yeah but like we've been told that we hurt feelings recently i literally got told i hurt someone's feelings yesterday but here's the thing but it's never

the person who like who calls in that person's feelings are never hurt i mean i'm not gonna never say never but they don't tell us it's other people who are being like i feel like that was kind of harsh and my response is sometimes you need to be harsh i'm gonna say the shit that your friends are too nice to say that's i mean i appreciate that and i'm like that with my family i always say that like if you're around a bunch of yes men that are don't want to hurt your feelings it cripples you as a human being so like it's beneficial to be offered different perspectives that are not your own but then i get scared i'm like oh my god they're probably crying it's okay i'm always the mean one our guest is always way nicer than me i'm always waiting except

megan tondress megan tondress matched me on a level where she was just going in and i was like yeah okay fuck yes i mean i think i'll surprise i think i will be maybe a little bit harsher than you and a lot of the time people will say feel free to tell me if i'm being a dumb bitch feel free to roast me and then i kind of take the three people who said that and apply it to everybody who didn't say it and i'm like some of the things you get are so bizarre that i just don't want to react the wrong way girl i'm excited yeah i was like jesse's coming i can pick the ones that i usually reserve for when it's melissa and i because i don't want to subject our guests to it but i know you can handle it i can you 100 can i mean i just have to tap into the old me pre

yeah story time you pre-birth i was a different human being so i can tap into that i'm still that bitch i know you are deep down um so if you guys want to be in an upcoming episode uh you can call us at 310-694-0310-694-0976 okay international listeners you can send us an audio file at meganpodcasts at gmail.com and if you guys want to listen ad free you can head over to stitcher premium and listen to us sans ads sansa stark ads we only do ads as the character of sansa stark kidding sans like none no none yeah i got you okay cool should we have it let's do it hi megan um melissa and gas uh so i'm 23 and the reason why i'm calling is i have this weird situation with my co-worker. In the past, him and I recently started working together this year.

We work together in a victim services unit. So we spend most of the day, you know, pretty much hanging out, waiting for, you know, people to call us back. um and on a company outing he mentioned to a couple of mutual co-workers mutual friends and co-workers of ours that he might have parents for me but because of a situation that happened in the beginning of the year with his ex uh he wasn't willing to do a relationship and i think he's i he's an attractive guy but I was also you know very much focused on my career and getting into a police department and everything um fast forward to a couple weeks ago this guy that I've been seeing came to pick me up from the job site and when I turned around to show him the guy that I'm

seeing from my offices after we kissed hello he I saw my partner looking out the window at us um the next morning I found out that he blocked me on snapchat when he um when I went to go send him a picture of a really cute dog and when I confronted him about it he told me that he deleted snap um and deleted his account but i saw that one of our mutual co-workers had tagged him in a story um and anytime that i another thing is that anytime i bring up like guys that i'm seeing or anything like that he gets all like distant and cold and very much like do whatever the f like do whatever the fuck you want to do like i'm not like i'm not here to tell you what you can and cannot do um but when he hears that they they went bad or i'm no longer seeing the

guy he gets all warm and back being friendly um the guy that i'm seeing thinks that he has feelings for me i just i don't know what to do because anytime i confront him he gets cold so if you have any advice that'd be great thanks that's a fucking loser he's a gemini or an aries for sure literally what i do on every episode what sign are you oh my god he has to be a gemini or an aries that is so immature that's so stupid yeah it's it's also one of those things that like it's i don't know i'm in the camp of like if you want to date me then date me but if you don't want to date me like you don't get to have like you don't get to feel some type of way about my life oh but they always do the losers yeah they always do the fucking weenies of the

world and it's like it's such a cliche because it's happened to me yeah before i met my husband so many times where a guy did not want to commit because that takes actual effort but they wanted that control and they wanted to feel like okay but if I see you and we're around then we're doing our thing where we flirt and then we're doing you know our thing that's what we do but it's like no that's not what I want and then when you finally find someone I mean when I found my husband I had guys like crying to me and being like you deserve that and I'm like yeah I do bye like what it's this weird thing where they just need to know that they still can't like they want that and it's it's so selfish and it's like get as far away from that as you possibly can a hundred

percent and like the fact that he acts cold and it's like do whatever the fuck you want or whatever like that's like a dick move because i'm also i will admit um i love attention i love when people like me even if i don't like them like for sure unless it's someone that i really care about and i'm like oh i feel so bad like which to be honest that's like happened once and i was like you're gay i was like really but i didn't say that it was really hard for me to be like you don't like me we're just the same because i'm a gay man trapped inside and like that's just this is why we get along so well he is out now um but like i there is never a part that's like an evil gross part of you that wants people to like you even if you don't have feelings for them

so like you don't act on that you don't like be cold you don't be a dick like that's something that you you self-filter and he's not doing that and i just think you have to lay down the law with him and be like here's the thing dude like I'm dating this guy every time I bring up guys where I talk about guys also figure out if you are doing it to make him jealous or if you like actually do like these other guys right and then be like here's the thing like I'm if you like you get super in your feels about anytime I bring this stuff up and like but you don't want to date me because of something happened your ex so like what do you expect me to do do you expect me to kind of wait around because at the end of the day if he really did care about you you wouldn't have to

like it wouldn't matter like the shit that went down with his ex he would quit if it was like oh i don't want to date someone i work with he would quit his job like do you know what i mean and like people just they love the excuses when they can't just own up to the fact that they don't want a relationship it's the most ridiculous thing about people like it's so hard for people to just be up front and be like yeah don't want a relationship with you and that's the whole thing it's like it's not gonna be you and the thing that sucks is like it's like trying to get someone to commit who doesn't want to you're gonna then like maybe it could be two weeks from now that they're gonna meet someone and they're gonna totally want to commit and settle down and you're like are you

you kidding me like all of these like those obstacles will be something like oh we can deal with this but if he's not choosing to like go through all of that he doesn't actually care about you like you said he likes that control and that power a hundred percent and i love what you said about the self-filtering because it's so true they're like human beings a lot of us do like attention and it's a natural thing and it's not like you meet someone and then all of a sudden you don't want attention anymore like you do but you have to be mindful and like not disrespectful and then just be like okay like i have wanted to keep someone around before but not want a relationship but as soon as you see that like affecting them you're like oh this isn't right

and you have to let them go yeah and they're still co-workers right yeah she was saying that's fine i mean everybody's uncomfortable at work sometimes it's like just go to work and then go home and you're fine yeah so if you're worried about that relationship like ruining that fuck it like yeah and i do think like it is obvious that he does have feelings for you but i don't think he has the kind of feelings that you want him to have for you and i don't think he's going to have them never i just think that this is like it is what it is and no matter like you have to lay down the law and then like you said just if it's gonna be awkward it's gonna be awkward and then just he has to deal with it and he looks super fucking dumb yeah i mean the times that i've had that

happen in my relationship now that it's like if that relationship is really important to you with your new partner you have to block that all out 100 like if you feel that it's disrespecting your relationship in any way like block him and only speak to him if you have to and that's it bye like go away I mean that's that's actually respecting your relationship because otherwise they weasel their way in however they can in the weirdest ways they'll like I've had guys who will just like reply to one of my stories with some shit that I'm like ew like that's just weird like get the fuck away I had a guy that I like had a thing with message me out of the blue like last week he has this like special nickname for me that like he just came up with that no one it's

just very weird it's very and like we never like really dated yeah um and so it's just very odd but he like basically at he did like the combination of my least favorite things it's like a someone coming out of like the woodwork that you're like oh i don't want to talk to this person but then also the hey i'm doing this like social media thing for work could you help me do it basically being like hey could you do my job for free and i was like um what but yeah i was like that kind of stuff where i was like oh this is clear like this is like it's like when i was in like middle school and i would like hey could you help me with the homework like i don't remember what it is like they will do anything a hundred percent and i think also like if you're gonna keep letting him

like out filter and infiltrate your relationships you're never going to get in a new relationship or a good one because like you said like you have to respect those boundaries with a new person that you're dating and you're just never gonna get there because you're like not fully letting this guy go. So I think you need to let him the fuck go. I think it's those what ifs that always like keep you around and doing weird shit where you're just like, well, I don't know, maybe. And it's like, it's not going to happen with him. It's just not. Once he gets you, that will be the end of that. Like that's it. Once you leave your partner, let's say hypothetically, and then you fall in love with this guy, he's not going to be the person that you need because the person that you

need would never even do anything like this. Like it's so shady. And that like cold sort of thing, that's a personality trait. That's not just about what you're talking about. Like he would do that again in other situations if he didn't like something that you're doing which is just toxic and gross so say goodbye boy bye bye fuck him but not literally on to the next one hi megan melissa and guest so this basically just happened um i'm 20 years old and my new boyfriend very new like only a month he was just over he is 25 and he was telling me that first of all he hates when I fake tan which bothered me because I like to fake tan because it's it makes me feel more confident about myself and I feel like I look better when I can and he was basically

like you look like a sweet potato walking around which I don't I mean I use a very subtle damn anyways I didn't know how to respond to that and also he had asked me before he left like how much I weighed and it was just a very uncomfortable situation and I don't really know what to say like I've told him that it is like hurtful that he's saying this stuff and that it makes me feel bad about myself and he's like no I just want you to know that I like you the way that you are naturally so if you have any tips on what to say or how to handle this or if i should run because it's so soon please let me know okay thank you bye for sure i love the sweet potato i need pictures of your tan i truly do coming from someone that used to get spray tan

yeah um i look back and now do realize i did in fact look like a sweet potato so i'm not saying you do look like a sweet potato i'm saying it's like an 80 20 chance that you do look like a sweet potato and that's fine like if that makes you feel good like whatever but you will look back like one in your more pale days like now i embrace i'm like oh my god like i like that i'm pale like it's who i am but like the it's always a sweet potato look oh yeah yeah and also it can just be a matter of switching brands of fake tan to go for something that has a little more olivey that is a little less orange yes that's true so i do wish we had um a picture just because like yes does it suck and he shouldn't be the one to tell you your friends totally should yeah um but the

weight thing is also really weird to me like is he does he want to take you like bungee jumping or like on a rock like it just seems so factual and she's like yeah but he's like oh by the way how much do you weigh i feel like my husband ever asked me that like but wouldn't you wonder like why do you want it for what reason no there is no reason you should ever have to like if you're concern maybe for my health fair enough okay i can barely get up a flight of stairs like huffing and puffing like okay thank you but like don't ask me like so what's the number that's completely in any i mean not even my brother can ask me that like nobody and i think that's the part of my mind that goes to like well why did he want to like it is a bit weird does he want to take you

on something that has like a weight minimum or a weight maximum yeah it got even creepier when i'm thinking about it i'm like i don't know what context that comes like hey by the way how much do you weigh it's like but that doesn't even tie into the whole he wants me naturally that doesn't even make sense no no that has nothing to do with weight i think the weight thing is weird maybe he's just one of those people that genuinely doesn't have a filter you know those people you're just like that came out of your mouth like what the fuck is wrong with you i mean both of these things yeah like no filter but it is a little i mean i think that the how one month yeah no at one month you are both like being you're lying you're not farting no oh my god exactly if you're

not farting yet like yeah you shouldn't be talking about shit like that it's just not the time it's a little too early for anything like that to happen in my opinion i feel like if there's any red flags at one month it's gonna go south oh my god because it can only get worse like one month again like you said you're on your best behavior so if your best behavior is calling me a sweet potato and asking me how much i weigh what is your worst behavior yeah like what are you six months in oh and god forbid like three years and when you're like just bored a little bit and then you're like then they say some shit like that and you're like okay all of your redeeming qualities have slowly faded away i love you but shut the fuck up so it's not i don't think that that's

appropriate yeah at all yeah you don't know each other well enough it is the fake stage and it's supposed to be perfect and that's a weird thing for someone to say even for a friend that you just met to tell you you look like a sweet potato 100 it's a month i think it's even weird like the wording of both of those even if it was like a lifelong friend like there's a way to go about of being like i've had friends who've like had splotchy tans and i'm like i will make a joke about it i'm like that's we got some nice neapolitan ice cream on that wrist right there like as a joke to a friend i've had forever and she'll be like oh my god no i know like it's not great or it'll be like hey i got i'm getting a new fake like i just got this new like fake tan

it's so good you should totally try it out like there's a way to be nice is gonna say that but like there's a way to kind of go about that i'm all for being up front i think it's one of the things that can bypass you past like so much of the passive aggressiveness we have as human beings towards each other but like that's just weird to me like that just like oh you look like a sweet potato by the way how much do you weigh i obviously we weren't there we don't know the conversation yeah but it's nothing to do with him i mean if he said sweet potato at all like that's all i need to know but like it's yeah i don't think i think it's weird and i'm not saying like break up with your boyfriend oh i'm saying break up with your boyfriend boy bye what a fucking weirdo i also

in to be totally fair i think if you have a label and you set a label as this is my boyfriend a month in i think that's also a little sketchy i think like you should i'm not one to talk i mean you got my husband moved in with me after like a month okay and i was pregnant but you guys you guys had a very different situation i think there's like when if you establish and have like oh we're gonna be boyfriend girlfriend and all this stuff before you've gotten through like your first argument or any of this kind of stuff i can't weigh in on this i would be a fucking hypocrite how long how when did you guys start calling to their boyfriend girlfriend do you want to know the real answer because i think the internet's gonna be like you fucking psycho

i met him we hung out the next night and the next morning he asked me to be his girlfriend okay and then two weeks later he was visiting me in miami but have you done that in other relationships never okay so then there we go never i think that's fair then it's still weird i mean i i mean i i moved in with my boyfriend very we were friends for a year before but we moved in together like unofficially like two months after three months after we started dating by then i was like super pregnant i think i went back yeah but you guys worked out no super but i tell him all the time like this could have been horrible we could have hated each other we're raising a child yeah for crying a lot so like i'm not one to weigh in but how like

although my situation could have gone a lot worse yeah you know it didn't and so i feel like i still can say like he never called you a sweet potato think about that he never no one month and he didn't do anything it was perfect it was bliss i mean i was pregnant yeah it went well but like you know like a month in i was just like this is like the best and still i mean he's like the most amazing person i've ever met so like i felt that therefore i continued yeah the relationship if a month or two weeks in he was being weird already i would have left and i would have been like okay bye i don't know yeah and so in that case then the title wouldn't matter that he was your boyfriend oh so i think that's also like yeah i would say like in general don't think about this

of like oh i'm breaking up with my boyfriend but it's like this is guy you've been dating for a months who's being fucking crazy who cares if he's your boyfriend or not like and you're young yeah I mean these are the best years you know I mean some say that 30s is your best years which I yeah I hope you know from what I've seen is true but like I just think that you don't want to if you already see weird things like this happening don't waste your time no like just just keep it pushing these are the best years you can do whatever you want just go for it like yeah it's only gonna get worse he's only gonna start calling you like carrot I guess we are saying break up with your boyfriend okay jesse doesn't want to own up to it and say it but i'll

say it break up with your boyfriend yeah so um best of luck and please send us a picture of what your tan looks like i just want to know because what if she's not orange at all yeah do you mean is that possible i also just want to put it out there i fucking hate when guys are like and they say this because they think i like a girl who's natural no you don't shut the fuck up And also, I don't give a shit. What they mean is, like, wear foundation. They're stupid. I want you to look like Emily Ratajkowski, and I want you to put no effort in.

Have you seen the Rihanna, there's, like, a clip going around Twitter where she's like, guys are stupid. You just, like, wear a little bit of lipstick, and it's a mess. Yeah, and they're just like, oh, you look so beautiful. And it's like, shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. And also, like, when has a girl ever done, like, a smoky blue eyeshadow look for a man? Never.

Do you know what I mean? like i just hate the idea that it's like well this guy he really likes me natural so like bullshit i'm like bitch first of all you don't know what natural is and also like fuck you in your opinion and then you see the women that they like and it's the kim kardashians of the world and it's like fuck off like none of us think like that no one was born like that you give me a makeup eraser and you're gonna be scared like it's like it just is what it is so it's bullshit yeah no i i wholeheartedly agree um leave your boyfriend yeah please do On to the next one.

Hi, Megan, Melissa, and potential guests. So I'm 23 years old and have been with my boyfriend, who is 24 years old, for about nine months now. We believe we're going to end up together because we both came out of very serious long-term relationships, and we went in knowing exactly what we did and didn't want. We also started our own businesses and are always looking for extra streams of income just as a side note. Anyways, our relationship is always more great than bad, however, we hit a rough spot recently. I was listening to your podcast that mentioned selling feet pictures and how common it was, so I decided to look into it and give it a try.

I didn't know if it was actually going to work, so before bringing it up to my boyfriend, I decided to create an Instagram to see if I get any interest. Immediately, I received guys willing to pay me anywhere from $500 to $1,500 on a weekly basis just for sending them feet pictures. for, like, good money. So before committing to anything, I brought it up with my boyfriend and explained how I understood if he was uncomfortable with it that I would allow him full access so he knows who I'm talking to

and what's going on. He wasn't very excited about it, but was impressed with how much money I could make, so he told me to think about it. The next day, he said that he doesn't love that guys are going to be messaging me for pictures and getting off to them, but if he was able to have full access to everything, it would be okay. So I thought that was great and proceeded talking to the guys and discussing offers. Well, later that night, we had a huge argument because he saw me on my phone talking to a random guy,

and since he didn't know what was being said, he started acting as if I was cheating on him. This was one of the worst fights we've had, and we didn't even resolve it until the next day. Long story short, even though this is already long, he didn't like that I started the profile without telling him, and now he feels like he's not sure what else i could do without him knowing and this upsets me because that all comes down to trust and i've never given him a reason to not trust me in the time we've been together plus i've never cheated on any of my past relationships and he knows that he was cheated on in the past so it stems from that but i never want him to feel that way about me we finally resolved it by having him check over the profile see who i've talked to and what's

and said, and then we decided that I wouldn't use it again. I'm frustrated because what I thought would be an easy, harmless way to make money turned into almost breaking up over trust issues. And I get his point of view. And I told him his feelings are valid because I think they are. But I just don't feel like I really did anything that bad. And I don't know if this is more of his issue or my issue. So just wanted your take on it. Hope you can give me some good advice and good opinions love your podcast bye i think we're gonna have two opinion two different ones what's yours you're you first okay um i mean i think that yes his feelings are totally valid but i think the last thing that you said at the end of the call of like is this more of like a him thing and i

think it is like i don't think what you did unless when you were you talked about it in like super hypothetical and it wasn't like hey i'm gonna make this account and i'm gonna do this and if it was more like hey i'm thinking but like i don't know maybe like probably would never like if you really like underplayed the whole thing and was like but that's crazy like i probably would never do that and then you just did it i think for him it would probably feel like if he was feeling misled in a way or if you were like hey i'll tell you before i make the profile you'll be a part of the whole thing we'll do it and then you did it without him and he felt like again misled but i think if you were very much like pretty clear of the fact like this and he was like okay cool as

long as i can see it and you kind of left it at like okay cool so like as long as he can see like see it and all that stuff that's fine and then you make it i mean i think in hindsight i think you probably also think i think we're on the same page that you probably should have told him when you made it and so he knew who you were messaging at that moment yeah um but i think this is like we have a line that we say here all the time if it's hysterical it's historical and i think this is a clear moment for him that this is not about like this is just bringing up all of those feelings again immediately that doesn't have anything to do with you it has to do with the fact that like this is like maybe that's how he found out his ex is cheating on him like she was texting somebody

else and all of that kind of stuff and so it just like triggered that kind of response in him um but i think i don't think the solution here is also to like not sell feet pics like i don't think that's the solution is to be like oh yeah so this is something we're not gonna do because because i think you guys need to work he needs to work through his trust issues in relation like his that that cheating stuff and i don't think you just not doing this is moving you guys forward and moving him forward i think that's something that like bother you oh i want to sell feet pics so bad and matz is like no yeah the roles were reversed and he wanted to it but well if he like yeah i don't think do people buy guys i don't know i'm not i'm gonna level with you i

don't think anyone is pretty well yeah my husband doesn't have to worry about me but like it to me it's hard because yes it's just feet pics it's not a picture of you naked but it's inherently like it's sexual but but in that but i think in that sense in that initial conversation you would bring that up and you would say that right if he agreed to it that's the part then then but then there's two sides to that because if he agreed to it there's one thing to like agreeing to something and then actually seeing how you feel when something happens but then you don't i don't think you should get upset i think it should be like hey you know what i realize that i'm not as chill with this as i thought i was yeah and i apologize and maybe that's how he feels yeah but

i mean i get it i mean so my proudest moment to date which is this is gonna just scream how much of a leo i am um my proudest moment today is someone made a uh a cum tribute account of me which is photos of me and people would jack off onto the photos and like claim them and post the photos and so i found out her name was cum slut and tasha and to this day it was the proudest i woke i woke mott's up in the middle of the night and just showed him this picture of this giant dick and like a picture of me with like jizz all over what did he do he was like what the fuck i'm trying to sleep and i was like but he like but that's the sort of thing but again it turned out in the roles were reversed i know me and i'm i'm also whatever everyone's to be like

okay two-way street like that's so like pot calling kettle black i know i wouldn't be cool with that yeah but do you know what i mean so but you would say that no i know yeah yeah i would say that I wouldn't be cool with that and so I don't think it's a double standard because I think it just it depends relationship to relationship yeah I agree and like he's fine with but there's certain things that I'm sure he wouldn't be fine with yeah I mean if I'm being honest like with this particular situation like you're probably not going to sell feet pics anymore if you want to stay in the relationship I guess it's safe to say because it doesn't seem like he's cool with it maybe he handled it the wrong way maybe he agreed to it and then he took it back in a weird

way like by lashing out which was not cool but like it's pretty obvious that like the feet pic business is closed yeah no i think that makes sense because i think you're probably right i think he did he just wasn't aware of how much it would hurt him or affect or like how actually sexual it is like because even though it's just feet pics like yeah there could be conversations going back and forth which is weird like to me if you're just sending a feet pic then maybe okay but like there has to be some conversation it's like hey baby like you know what i mean it's sexual it's not just like feet pic question mark it's not like you can sell them on etsy but that's what like kelsey said people will just send her messages like feet pic question

yeah and then she'll just send how much money it costs back yeah yeah it doesn't have to get sexual but i i would imagine if it's a business it might get sexual eventually and like that could be weird and also even if you're not responding that those messages are there right and that he might feel and someone's you know probably pleasuring themselves to a picture of your significant other it could get weird like even though it's just feet pics yeah so i feel like maybe he took it back in a weird way but like for your relationship's sake like just like that's it if he picks over like you tried it and it didn't work and that's part of a relationship sometimes it's not always sexual but like people try businesses and ventures and things that don't

work in a relationship and therefore you have to decide and like weigh your options and if you want to be with this person you know compromise in that way and i mean you haven't had this business for like a long time it's not like this was your clients dude 500 i just made an account i'm gonna i don't know i feel like it just depends on your partner how jealous they are how comfortable they are it just depends but yeah i think for your situation it's just it's over yeah and i would take this as like an opportunity to have a conversation about like his past and like how you guys can work through that kind of stuff because like you unless i don't want to say that you're at fault but like unless like you really like misled him I don't necessarily think

that you're at fault and I think like maybe he hasn't dealt with those previous issues before and I know I push therapy on everybody but like if he's not in therapy or you guys try couple therapy not even in like oh we have a problem but it's like hey that thing really wasn't fun and like I don't feel like I expected that reaction out of you and like I don't want to put you in that in that headspace again to feel like that but it's really hard because I don't know how to prevent that and if we can have those tools of communication or we can like check in with each other in like a really constructive and productive way i can avoid doing something that's triggering to you and also you can then figure out what those specific triggers are and like you won't project

your past relationship onto ours for sure i love that therapy talk it is like oh yeah so good wow therapy's great i love that no it's true i mean i feel like a lot of times we just kind of interact in the world without realizing that there are so many underlying reasons as to why we do everything why we think everything we do and so we ignore that and everything's just surface level even when you think you're in love you're in a relationship things aren't surface level they are in a lot of ways because if we navigated in a more honest way things would be different and like situations like this it could be like oh just no more feet pics but that there's a lot under there as to why he got so hurt and he doesn't know immediately in that moment doesn't

know why and you're being super mature and realizing okay I don't think this is about me i think this is about his ex but it's really hard when someone's like yelling at you when you're in a fight with your relationship to not think it's about you and it can it's just yeah it's just hard so i think it's a good opportunity for you guys both to grow from this and again please send us your um your clientele and then also if any of you guys else any other of you guys uh sell feet picks give us other like what are the other i would love to know anyone else's tips yeah like do you you just take pictures of your feet or do you grip things i watched i watched a girl do a like a video on like how to sell feet pics but like she was like she was starting from like she

wasn't like an influx she wasn't start so i was like so do you like would i use my main one to be like also by the way like would i tag my feet in pictures i think but how many men are following your account oh that's true not that many but who knows who wants feet pics i know but i'm just saying like the i think kelsey probably has more mill fallers than you that's true we have talked about that she gets on yachts and i'm like how do you do that i want to be on a yacht i've never been on a yacht i know me neither have i no damn no there's no way you would remember i feel like i would otherwise then it was probably just a boat like if i don't remember it wasn't a yacht it was just a little i've been on a cruise that's like a big yacht right yeah it's like a really

big share with like a million people lots of people from florida hey what's wrong with being from florida i mean you're from miami which is different which is like the butthole no i'm sorry until you live there i'm not gonna lie to you i don't love miami um yeah of course but it's definitely the best part of florida as somebody who has family from florida and has to visit and go i think orlando is the best part of florida are you fucking kidding me i fucking love orlando do you take away disney world do you love orlando but yeah there's universal studios But that's what makes Orlando Orlando, though. Okay, well, then I like Orlando the best, too.

You can't be like, take out the film industry and what's L.A. No, but say, like, I love Anaheim. Take out Disneyland. Do you love it? Actually, no one has ever said they loved it. No, nobody says they love it. Take out Disneyland. We'll be fine.

It's okay. I do like it, though. It's less sweaty than Disney World. Disney World's so hot. Yeah, but it's so tiny. It's so hot. Yeah, exactly. That's how I am.

I hate Disneyland. And there's no alcohol. Boo. no i can't go to the theme park well there's alcohol and um um uh california adventure yeah you have to pay a whole other ticket and cross the park i know the one time i went there i just sat there at that like one restaurant that serves alcohol and i looked like i rode one ride because the lines are insane like yeah it is it is true we're all 10 times better a million times and there's like how many parks four or five parks yeah but it's just so have you been to epcot

yeah epcot is fucking epic it's the best okay valid fine guys you win or not it's the best place in florida is what we're trying to say true true true okay guys we're gonna take a quick break you're right okay guys we are back from our break um we talked about chipotle you didn't hear it Um, so let's get into the rest of the calls. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 23 and we've been dating for about six months now. He recently admitted to me that he believes he is addicted to porn and he's frustrated because he feels like he has this expectation of me to have more sex all the time.

And when it doesn't happen, he's really frustrated. For me, my parents had me really young and have always been really strict about sex. and it caused me a lot of fear and discomfort with it in past relationships on top of me also having a really really low sex drive for me I've never cared to watch porn and I don't really care to initiate sex if it happens I'm into it and I'm enjoying it but if it doesn't I'm just as content just being with him and spending quality time with him and I'm also in school and we live really far apart and I still live at home so there's not a lot of opportunities for anything to really happen. There was one time when we did have sex that he did something I didn't like

but I thought it would be awkward to bring it up right then and there so I waited till after to tell him and while he was admitting his frustrations to me he said that when I did that it made him spiral more and on top of the weird expectations he has now he feels scared of hurting me or that I won't like what he's doing. And now he just feels kind of insecure about that too. I'm not really sure what advice you can give to help or what I can do right now. And I don't want to feel guilty because I know I haven't done anything wrong. And he even acknowledged that these expectations aren't fair, but I'm just, I'm frustrated because I don't know how to help him with the addiction or change the circumstances of anything else that's going on

especially when i already know myself and i'm not a very sex-driven person so thanks for any advice you can give me why does she have to be the one to fix this dude i don't and also admitting that you're like him being addicted to porn and then turning it on you and being like and i just have these expectations for you that you're not meeting like that it's not there's so many things wrong here number one if you're in a committed relationship or not if you meet someone that night anything that they want to try should be run by you they should not be i mean my husband your boyfriend of a long-term relationship would never do that it took me months to get to call me a slut when we were having sex he was like i don't really feel good i was like no

call me like and like and then even not in the moment i would be like babe i'm telling you right now like i'm like please like just do it and it was very much like it takes a while or like if you're like if you're into like rough shit like choke me or whatever i have never hooked up with like a guy where it's like oh yeah first i'm like for sure i'm gonna choke you well i saw a thread on twitter the other day everything i see is on twitter uh a thread about um people normalizing choking and hair pulling and just when you go to hook up with someone people are just choking you thinking you're gonna like that that's a form of bdsm yeah even though mild and there should be a lot of consent there there should be a lot of talking about even i mean are you okay with me

choking if you're in the moment just say it like just like it's bizarre to me that people are like oh yeah and just fucking pull your it's like what the first of all these are extensions back the fuck off like it's it can turn you off in a second and not only that it can trigger you oh yeah like especially if you're just meeting someone it's bizarre so he should have asked you you're in a committed relationship that's weird and that's what porn addiction does and I also think in that case if you're the person who's like asking like if you're the person who wants if if you're like turn on involves you doing something to somebody else I also don't think that that's I think I think that's a conversation to have not in the moment because you do end up

in situations like her where he didn't ask your permission but even if he was asking your permission hey can I choke you in the middle of having sex you're like oh I feel like I need to say yes even if I don't like that because then I'm going to take him out of the mood and we as women have this whole thing of being like oh i don't this thing that makes me really uncomfortable i don't want to make this man feel uncomfortable for saying the thing that made me feel uncomfortable are you fucking kidding yeah first of all he needs to seek help for his addiction point blank porn addiction is a real thing and it's affected so many people he needs to seek help for that you're not responsible for fulfilling his like fantasies it has nothing to do with his if he's

addicted to porn no matter what you do it's not enough it's not it doesn't matter and like the idea that like also to me him saying that to you without being like hey i'm really like i'm freaking out i think i've i'm addicted to porn and like i really don't like it and i'm gonna go seek help and all that stuff but him turning it back on you to me just seems manipulative and it's not even like oh i'm struggling with this issue it's like hey i'm gonna tell her i have this addiction to porn so i can get her to do what i want right and it's only gonna get more complicated down the line like if you're the more long term in a relationship that you get the more comfortable you are the more yeah you do want to have those moments where you're just watching tv

and you're just chilling and you don't and let's say some your partner does make a move and you don't want that right then you're just like i'm tired yeah i i don't feel like it you don't want to be guilted or like coerced and feel obligated like i have to do this that is ridiculous and i mean as far as like your low sex drive if that's something you're okay with yeah like for instance like after i gave birth that was something i struggled with oh my god and i was not okay with it yeah no because like I am like you're a Leo I'm a Leo I'm a very sexual person so I was like I feel like I've lost a part of myself and so I personally started taking maca and it worked it was great I think it tastes disgusting no I take it in pills oh I take it in pills yeah I'm down

to try it it's supposed to help with like it helped yeah it helped with me yeah and so you know for me it wasn't okay but if you're okay with that then whoever you're with should be okay with that but it has to there has to be some talking on your part and his part and then he needs to like go get help yeah for sure no there's no questions about yeah i don't even think like i don't even know what like the process of like going through therapy with that but i think like if he's dealing with like a sex addiction everything like that like i would think more than anything you guys would need to take a step back from intimacy and from sex like that and just have those more like not sexually like intimate moments just those intimate like let's watch a

together let's hang out and do all of that kind of stuff because like i just can't i don't know if he's not that's the thing with anything with any sort of addiction it's not something that you can do on your own it's not something you can just figure out and kind of like bullshit your way through like because you you would have to like stop yourself and usually in addiction you can think about in the same sense if like if someone's addicted to uh heroin anything any sort of like incredibly like an intense sort of drug you can't quit cold turkey right it will fuck up your body or the same thing with if you're recovering from like an eating disorder like your body goes into these stages and uh one of my friends is in recovery from eating disorder and she does

wonderful content meredith foster if anyone wants to follow her and she talked about how she really wished she had been in treatment when she was in that like first initial recovery stuff she's like because there's so much stuff i didn't learn she's like i didn't know i didn't know what to expect with myself like i didn't know how to like like deal with like the feelings that i was feeling or the physical like health stuff i was gonna go through after that because i didn't have like assistance and help and there's no way to like recover from something without someone teaching you about that kind of stuff because an addiction it's not like it's not a choice it's something your body is now it like it's dependent on it and this it's a whole thing it's not just like oh i'm

just i can just stop and be done and i think like he might feel like pride or like oh i can just i can just figure it figure it out on my own i mean it's good he admitted to it yeah but i mean history shows and i'm not trying to like compare him to like a freaking serial killer but like history shows that like untreated porn addictions like it can get pretty crazy yeah and it's like like ted bunny has gone on interviews and been like that's how it started for me like it was then and then it wasn't enough and it wasn't enough it's amazing that he's acknowledging it but it's not amazing that he's like this is the deal and then also like can you like it needs to be like it's something that like this is something i'm struggling with and i'm not okay with it like

you said about like sex drive it's something like recognizing about yourself and then be like and this is something that's happening in me and i don't like it so i need to fix it yeah but it's not like oh i need someone else to go about and fix it and i'm not even i just think that you need to he needs to get and even if you want to like schedule a couple's therapy session with him so he doesn't have to be there like alone and you guys can talk about it together with a counselor but it's something that that needs to be addressed and then also yeah again consent in relationships is also like a really big thing i hate that everyone's like oh you're married to him are you he's your boyfriend like do what he wants it's like sorry no like it's just bizarre it's this

mentality just like the you meet someone one night and you pull their hair like anything sexual needs to you need to feel comfortable it's the only way to have a healthy sex life you need to be able to go to your partner and they need to be able to come to you and there's no weirdness there there's no judgment but there needs to be that conversation otherwise it can get really weird and really unhealthy and actually scary yeah and just because you consent to one thing doesn't mean you consent to everything and you have to consent along the way and that's how you end up in like in awful and i would say you like someone ends up but like that's people who don't recognize that and don't take those like that's literally how those terrible situations happen is because people are like oh

no i mean yeah you consented to fuck me one times you consented to fuck me all of the times oh yeah or you can send it to this thing and then this means you can send it to all of that and it's just not and the fact that you felt like uncomfortable bringing it up and in the moment makes total sense because there is like that oh i want to i want to please him and i don't want to make him feel uncomfortable but he knew everyone knows like if you're gonna like and let's just say we obviously don't know what he did but let's say he choked you we know as a whole as someone like sure i'm into getting choked i know but but i know that other people aren't like i know that something so he did something knowing you might feel uncomfortable and he just took that risk

and then if someone's going to take that risk you have every right to potentially make them feel uncomfortable by calling them out on it because they thought through it there is not this like oh i didn't think anything like that's such a bullshit sort of thing and there's no limit to your relationship there's no time or anything that doesn't allow you to let that person know like hey no i don't or if you wanted to let's say you wanted to get choked in the past and all of a sudden you don't like it anymore you tell him like hey don't ever do that again actually because i hate it now yeah it's like that's fine it doesn't matter if you've been together 12 years it doesn't matter and there's no time limit on that and you have every right to tell him like hey not cool and

also i'm not your little like sex toy we need to get this figured out because i'm not down and he should respect that and then on top of all this the fact that all of this sex is about him like none of this is about your pleasure and him getting you off it's like you're not meeting my expectations for what i want what about what the fuck you want like does he give a shit about what you want or what you enjoy addictions don't usually even know what they want because then they can get it let's say and they're not going to get it how they want it this is not a produced show okay i can't like write a dick for 20 minutes sorry like i don't have the stamina so like we talk about that all the time oh absolutely not can anybody no my inner thighs

are dying you might do pilates and like get done that on top i'm like how can you enjoy that it just hurts pain anyway so it's like you know i just they don't even know what they want because what they want isn't real a lot of the times i mean porn is highly produced and highly staged and it's like you're not gonna get that the girl's not even enjoying it so like what do you yeah i just think that in your relationship at the end of the day like you're so concerned about his enjoyment and pleasure during sex and it's abundantly clear he doesn't care about yours and like it is so all about him and regardless of your sex drive like you can still have a low have a low sex drive and still in like you still deserve to enjoy sex like you're not like his like

toy for whenever he wants to it sounds so too with the way that she grew up that there's a lot there yeah i don't know if maybe she naturally has a low sex drive or because she has never medications too yeah there's so many things that can go into it and you'd be surprised how much when you have a partner that understands you and that cares for you in that way and is willing to do what you want on your turns and terms and vice versa you your sex drive goes up and you become a lot more like oh wait actually i enjoy this and i want to be with this person so unfortunately the experience you're having right now is not catering to that at all or helping you in any way it's actually going to make you retreat like more into yourself get more in your own head which for women

is a fucking nightmare when you're in bed you're just like i'm thinking spiraling i could hear like a creak in the corner that's it i'm thinking about like what did i eat this morning that's like our unfortunate reality regardless so this isn't helping you and so we you know i hope that you two can work through this yeah but it's a it's a really big issue is all i'm gonna say yeah it's a it's not a small thing and if i if he's not willing to uh make a change and seek help for his addiction i think that that's also a sign for you that it needs to be a big change needs to happen in your really like if he's not going to do that i think you need to evaluate the fact that if you still want to be with him because i think then to me that just

is i don't know like anytime anyone says like oh i would i would get help but i like i can't yeah okay the whole thing is is like i understand that like therapy can be expensive but there are much more affordable versions of therapy you can go through your health insurance to do something like that and then also even if you're strapped for money in that sense how often do you spend money going out to eat how much are you spending to go buy alcohol like if you can take that money your fun money towards something that's going to better yourself there's i just don't think or even like through schools and through like anything like that or even just like spending time like buying a book and doing like okay i'm going to take this like program to go through all of this

and deal with and like try and figure that out but if he's not taking any action i do think it was just a manipulative sort of thing yeah uh and also there's guys with low sex drive we have so many girls who come to the podcast you're like my boyfriend has such a low sex drive blah blah yeah and that's something that like you have to find that compatibility like you said once you meet that person it's so much more enjoyable for both of you because you don't feel like there's this expectation that you're and you're disappointing anybody because you're on the same page yeah and this is something that like i think if he doesn't want to deal with this and this is just how it is i think you you need to find someone who's on the same page as you

yeah because like oh god that made me feel kind of gross me too yeah didn't like that one but we're sending you lots of love good luck but let us know what happens um and uh yeah should we go on to the next hi megan melissa and potential guest i'm 26 years old and i'm from germany so sorry for the accent i'm with my boyfriend now for seven months and it's great he's a real gentleman and he makes me laugh all the time and the sex is pretty great thank you by the way for the blowjob tips worked like a charm anyway i'm very happy but there's this little thing that annoys me shitless and that's his dog don't get me wrong i love dogs i'm a total dog person and i myself grew up with one but let's just say it like it is his dog is a fucking nightmare she's

spoiled to no end she's allowed to sit on the dining room chairs she's allowed to lick the plates that are on the table she's allowed on the couch and she's allowed on the bed and if i say no to her she just barks and doesn't stop it drives me crazy till last week i was determined to stay out of it not my dog not my problem but then something happened so while we are having sex the dog is not only in the room she was watching us and not just from the other side of the room no she was sitting in front of the bed first row best seats in the house so I'm waiting that he says something tells her to go and close the door behind him but nothing and that just turned me off completely and I just wanted to finish him off so I gave him a blowjob and he came but in that exact

moment the dog jumped on the bed and started licking the sheets which is just plain gross i looked at him again to check if now he's saying something but still nothing so the dog is not just lying in bed with us little reminder we are still naked she's lying between us under the blanket so it's him the dog and me on the far end on the other side of the bed my question am i a bitch for feeling annoyed I mean I know the dog helped him through some pretty rough times and I initially laughed that he had such a great relationship with his dog but the thing is I don't it's not my dog for me it's just a dog am I overreacting should I say something or is it just something that I have to accept I mean it's his house his dog and his bed any advice would be great thanks bye

is this real dude this is a lot i mean okay i don't think okay i think we're on the same page the come thing's weird yeah but everything else like is fine to me minus the dog in the room having sex okay that happens sometimes but do you notice i look this up and 80 people are like fine with dogs being in the room and dogs like scientifically they are attracted to intimacy of any kind so that's why they like to watch okay okay hold on if i you're also you have a kid you're very busy i'm not gonna judge you well even before i'm holding you to a different standard no no like okay if we're like 75 of the way done with sex oh and the dog walks in no and then i didn't know he was there i also have a cat happens with the

at and then i looked at the side and just fucking staring i'm not gonna lie i'm just like let's just fucking do it because what i mean what am i gonna do i'm i'm married you're right i mean who has the time yeah but like i'm not gonna get up and like it's not like he's getting up on the bed that would be fucking weird now the whole like every other issue other than the sex one i don't understand i mean my husband banned my dog from sleeping in our room and i still like will never forgive him yeah because my dog used to sleep in between my legs like literally like warm and it was like so cuddly not like that that was weird i know with the concept no no no i understand it was cuddly okay so like i loved sleeping in the same bed as my dog until i met my husband and he

said that is like weird and that's gross and we can't have animals in the bed i and i resent him a little bit for that because i'm like i love my dog like i love my dog and now we have a cat and I love my cat so just not as much as your dog well dog's cat no I love no I love them both the same no it's not she's a little crackhead I love her but like to me I personally get annoyed when like for I'll give you an example my brother's now wife when they first met like she like didn't like his dog and I just like hated that I was like what the fuck is wrong with you yeah you know what I mean like it tells me something I mean I know people are allowed to not like dogs whatever you're weird yeah like to me it gives me like a little like okay that's not your dog

like just either don't interact with it but like there's nothing wrong with a dog like being on the couch like what where is the dog supposed to go yeah no i i i agree with you and i i like i grew up with like a demon dog so like i don't want to like refer to like so but we don't have a dog but i have no issue with like a dog being like when we get a dog i have no issue with the dog sleeping in my bed unless maybe the dog is like shitting everywhere and then i'd be like okay cool no even if they shed a lot that would be like no but also it would be because it's our home in that sense like i don't think that like that like staking like oh i don't like this and it's not your place i do yeah i think all the rest of it i think it's fine some people have like really

strict boundaries with dogs and other people don't like i love like my best friend's dog literally we would just like cuddle on the couch and like i love that like that's my favorite like i don't want to have a dog that just like sits in the other room and it's like no I want you I want to love you at all times yeah like I want that and some people are different with that but I think like it's not it's you you are it's like dating you're dating him and you're gonna this is something that's gonna come along with it or it's not like you're not gonna change him and I don't think it's fair to because I think like both of you are allowed to feel the way that you feel and neither one of you is right like yeah you like this he likes this it's but it's not no one's

like no one needs to like like make you feel the same way if he loves the dog you're not going to stop him from loving the dog i mean my husband he won the bed thing okay whatever because we both sleep there yeah but everything else he has not won with the dog and it's been years and i'm just like he's my i'd literally say i'm like he's my firstborn like this is how we do things okay like i cooked for my dog for the first two years of his life until he decided he didn't even like he also lives with you yes and it's his bedroom now too yes so he gets a say but even then he doesn't get a say in like no whether we have the dog exactly he won that one exactly and then the rest it's like this is the constellation but the cum thing's weird the cum thing is very very weird

well why was there cum on the bed if she gave him a blowjob maybe it dripped out of her mouth that's a rookie move no we've had people that don't like to swallow so i know someone who literally she waddles to the bathroom and just spits it out and washes her mouth i'm like that's that's also in your mouth for so much longer yeah just shoot it back 100 got it ow hit my face again yeah the come things weird yeah i i think like and he if he's not noticing it i think you're hyper aware of the dog because like you and this dog are i don't know i having i don't want to say you and this dog are having the beef but like you were hyper aware of the dog in the room because like you have this like this feels like intruding a lot and so he you're again you're noted you

might notice it before him so i would just bring it up to him and did she just point at it or did she say there's come on the bed and your dog's licking it yeah you have to say something in the moment about that stuff i think like if it's like licking on the plates like staying in the bed like all of that stuff you have to decide is that a deal breaker for you then stop dating him but like i don't think you have sex at your house yeah but i but i think you would say like hey like i love you uh i think you're and even if you don't love the dog say you love the dog i love your dog um but i will say like i i don't know if you noticed the last time that we had sex like he was just like watching us and like i felt super uncomfortable it really took me out of it

and i don't know if you noticed and it didn't take you out of it but it really like it took me out of that moment that i was like having such a great time with you and i think like if we can just like i love having the dog around like i'm all for it but like if we're gonna have sex like can that just be like just you and me in the room and i think that's a very fair thing to ask super any time that i've noticed my animals were watching was like after the fact like obviously if we're about if i'm about to come bitch i'm not gonna let anything get it like i'm not gonna be like oh let me stop last time like you know how cats get like really wide eyes like my cat was like and i was i was freaked out a little i was just like yeah it was weird so like if i know that

they're in the room get out yeah but if you notice like at the end it's whatever but yeah let him know that and then the dog needs to leave when you have sex that's fair enough i don't want my animals watching me just happens sometimes when you have uh-huh no exactly and i think like that if he's very much like no i really enjoy him in there then you're like that's something else then we're like great to know you thank you goodbye i was gonna say goom talk but i'm pretty sure that's hello um well now it's time for don't blame them this is when our listeners will call in with their own advice so if they've been through something similar to something from a previous episode they can give us their own two cents like if their dog enjoys you know yeah i really hope we

don't get calls of people being like i think that's totally fine that your dog wants to watch you fuck i don't even like my stuffed animal if i recognize my stuffed animal is right next to me i'm like let me toss you i feel like maybe they interpret it that they don't mind it but really it's just that like what are you gonna do get up and but again like you're saying it's towards the end it's not like minus you're just speak for everyone who fucks with their beds in the room i think that's the acceptable like that makes sense to me i think that's an except i think if like the minute you start like making out and you see your animals right there yeah get the fuck out of here yeah yeah for sure very much agreement okay we ready i heard that episode okay

Yeah. Plain thing. Yeah. And we were very confused. Yeah. Hi. I was calling with regard to your recent episode about the birth situation about the lady who had the UTI and her boyfriend can't orgasm with penetrative sex. So my husband had the same issue where he could not.

where he wasn't able to come to the clinic because he didn't activate for such a long time during that trial. We realized the only way to really help with that was just kept practicing. A lot of the time, it's just like you trained your body to only really respond in that way, and you kind of just have to start over and retrain it again. So it's going to take a while. It took me a couple of months, but eventually he was able to orgasm when we finally had sex. Also regarding UTIs, when you have sex, that's actually a really common problem, I'm a nurse, that's a really common problem with like a lot of women when they start having sex,

is that they just experience a lot of UTIs. So my suggestion is, you know, always pee after sex. And also like if this is like a problem that just keeps occurring no matter what, maybe you're going to have to be on like pre-antibiotic. antibiotics. So a lot of doctors don't want to prescribe antibiotics, you know, for women who, like, are sexually active while they're taking it. Therefore, they can just prevent UTIs from occurring to begin with. Otherwise, yeah, just really start by your situation with the UTI. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about, like, other options and let

them know that it's, like, an occurring issue. And with your boyfriend, honestly, I only advice is to keep practicing. It's mainly like a it's mainly like a problem that occurs when you've been masturbating in that situation for a long time and you just kind of have to like practice

having sex with him penetratively in order for him to orgasm. Okay, thank you. Bye. This is from the episode with Nikki Limo. That is bizarre to me. We never gave the advice to pee after sex because I didn't think we needed to. Well, a lot of people don't know that.

Yeah. But I realize we never said that in the episode, but that's also when someone's saying they have repeated UTIs, I automatically just assume like, you know, like you're peeing after sex and you're still getting UTIs. But yeah, I pee and have to wash or else I'll get UTIs. Like I'm like prone to them, which they're the fucking worst. But the preemptive antibiotics sounds a bit much to me. Yeah. That scares me. I used to be on antibiotics for acne. Me too. And it's just like yeah being on antibiotics for a long time is but correct me if i'm wrong don't you only get utis if it's without a condom so i looked this up once um and it is it's more common to get a uti without yeah a condom but it's not it's not impossible it's i don't even think it's like 90 10 i think

it's more like it's you're more likely to but it's not i thought it was like not a thing without without a condom because the only time i ever experienced utis was without a condom like that otherwise it was fine but yeah you definitely have to pee after sex yeah and i it's very interesting to me to see i've never even heard of that that like men can't orgasm yeah like when penetrating because i would think that feels so much better than anything else i know like vaginas are like warm like little cozy but if you haven't been in a vagina then you don't know but if they go in and then to like still not like to me that's bizarre i feel like if like if i had a penis i would just like want to find oh my god if i got to switch and i had a penis for a day

i would first thing i would do get on tinder and just go to town that's yeah i wouldn't even masturbate like i would like i need to be inside of a vagina because i would imagine that feels amazing like warm and you guys seem to love it yeah so that's really interesting to me i had no idea that was a thing but yeah for the infections you have to like and not just like pee a little bit like you have to sit there until you pee and not even wait even like don't wait like literally the second i'm like i'm gonna pee it's not like 20 minutes later it's not half an hour later yeah that's the problem is like a lot of times like when men will like come or something maybe they feel like oh now i want you to come or something like no you need to go wash first

and then you can engage in whatever you want because if you sit there and do until you come like that's already introducing all that bacteria so you gotta like go pee like asap and i think us as much as like preventative antibiotics maybe it's nice to have some on hand if you get a really bad one so you're not but you're not actually taking them every day yeah obviously not going to give medical advice but there are some uh i've heard them on ads for other podcasts that they're like it's more like like emergency like those powder drinks it's like that you pour into water that that's a preventative thing it's not an antibiotic but i think it's probably something that has like cranberry in it and then a bunch of other stuff that is like good at just flushing

your system yeah um so i would say and then also i think i'm pretty sure drinking a lot of water is supposed to be helpful preventative wise too so finding like maybe more like natural like preventative measures i'm not a fan of like the natural like uh uh treatment when you're like dying like right no like that's like take something yeah but yeah yeah so here's all the preventions it says drink plenty of water drink cranberry juice wipe from front to back empty your bladder soon after intercourse avoid potential irritating feminine products oh laundry detergent too and change your birth control yeah maybe even soap can do it yeah maybe if you focus on all of those um if you treat like if sex is the thing that you've been like

no i don't say like that's been the cause that you've been trying to deal with maybe if you do everything else then maybe the sex is kind of just like what's aggravating it because it's all like you're prone to it in every other part of your life yeah if you do all of that and then like make him wash his penis before sex and it still happens repeatedly some things yeah i would totally go to a doctor and just find out that if it's something different yeah but yeah it sucks yeah utis are the worst knock on wood i haven't that's not wood i'll do it later but knock on what i haven't had one in a long time oh i thought you're gonna say ever i was like holy no no i had a i had the yeast infection from hell though do you want to hear how crazy can't be worse than

mine i got it when i was pregnant oh my husband had to put my medication in it yeah can't be worse than that god yeah well my pregnant just sucks yeah i've heard terrible things so where can people find you on the internet oh uh everywhere i guess on youtube jesse smiles and instagram oh yeah i have one you don't post necessarily utilize it no you don't who can be there's too many social media platforms it's true who can fucking do you have a kid yeah and a cat and a dog and a cat and a dog and a husband yeah no i don't i don't blame you at all i mean even before that i sucked at instagram it's hard you gotta take pictures get ready for it like who has the time not me just post old pictures i bought your presets you did i was just gonna say i'll give

you some for free i bought them oh my god i love them i'm so happy people should also follow you on twitter too i think you're great on twitter oh thanks i usually just get into problems no but it's great because i follow you on twitter but i also my how i know people are like great on twitter and it's not just my opinion i see your stuff usually retweeted before i even see you post it oh really yeah and i'll be like retweeted by five people that you follow and i'm like i feel like i just get on there to just like talk shit and then i get nervous because people who are not my followers see it and then i delete it that's my twitter experience it's rare i tweet something and don't delete it then it's fun for people who follow you because it's like oh let me see if i

can see it and then it's gone and you're like what happened it's a reason to turn your notifications on because that shit's gonna be deleted oh i should turn my notifications on for you that's it's crazy the other day i got into some trouble i'm like oops delete oh i'm gonna never happen it was only up for an hour wow mine's only for spelling errors people are like we saw you delete that and i'm like oh no i have some opinions i just everybody's just like shut up internet person you don't have opinions i'm like okay no i like your opinions thanks uh well guys if you want to be on an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 did not stumble over that one and if you are an international listener you can send us an audio file at

meganpodcast at gmail.com check us out on instagram don't blah meme pod our own social will be listed down below and if you are not a part of our private facebook group you should become part of it but make sure you answer the questions and you answer the questions all of them and you answer them correctly and if you don't answer them correctly you're lying when you say you've listened to every episode and you're a fake fan and we're not allowing you in because you're gonna snitch it's true there's 67 people sitting with no response someone said i'm not going to say what the questions are on like right now but someone answered a question with the answer duane the rock johnson yeah i just want you to know none of the answers to any of the

questions are duane the rock johnson i didn't even know you can do a question here none of them are towel either oh my gosh like it's and none of them are your opinions they're just i think they said the duane rock johnson because you said that he looked like he was moist all the time yeah but like unrelated but just know all of the questions they're not your opinions and they're things that we say in the podcast multiple times yes it's if you listen to the podcast you'd be like yes yeah a title of the episode it really won't be that it's really not that hard but if you think we're just asking your like thoughts and opinions we're not like that's not how we're asking you like figuring out who we want to be here what happens when they're in that it's so exclusive

we talk now i need to be in this yeah you have to be able to ask the questions that fuck it's just very i don't know i also want to make sure that like uh obviously not everybody like we've got like at the point that we're recording this we've got like over 400 people who are in our group and right now a lot a huge majority of those people are active i don't want anyone to just be in the group and just reading and not and like engage you don't have to you don't need to ask for advice because a huge part of it's like like you can talk about the episodes but a huge part of it is asking for like your own personal advice and you don't have to ask for advice but like there's so many people who will just comment on something and i say this in a positive way who

comment like hey i've never and like the question has anyone been through something like this blah blah and people respond like i haven't at all but like i'm rooting for you like totally here to support you even that kind of stuff i'm like cool you're not just like lurking and like reading other people's business you know that's what i would want yeah but then just you just have to like engage a bit no no like something yeah yeah or laugh at something yeah or share a picture of your dog yeah that lot we have a whole section of people sharing pictures of their animals or like what's like hey what should i name my dog like my new puppy or my new cat and everyone comments but if you're just like lurking to like learn shit about people no it's weird it's like

you're too sketchy go to write it for that 100 and like also like that's what this podcast is like you already have that why do you need more yeah that's true get a hobby or a job exclusive i love it it is i'm gonna do my homework yeah you'll see my it's really fun i have a really hard time not episodes you might already know yeah i have a really hard time not responding to the stuff people say like i feel like they always i'm always like you want my opinion you need my opinion like even if all these other people have helped i'm like no no i need to help too uh don't worry i don't have a savior complex well guys we hope you enjoyed this episode and we'll see you guys next time bye