Don't Blame Me! - S6E13: He Doesn’t Brush His Teeth w/ Melisa D. Monts

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

This week we're sharing advice on:    Making friends Differing hobbies in a relationship Boyfriend won't wear a condom How to tell if a guy is into you Update: boyfriend calling you fat   Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @dontblamemepod  https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/ @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa     Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,' PLUS exclusive bonus episodes.     Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I'll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out the YouTube channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9SMwL3ZgCUsD-yIDU_Zsqg/ Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Enterprise. We're here for it. hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me should we let them know what you did you can let them know um for the second time but to be fair statistically for as many episodes as we've done like this is the only reason that i did it is because we're doing two episodes back to back and when we take our break i move it to the side true and when i came back to sit down i did not move it back uh this is an advice podcast if you want to call in for an upcoming episode the phone number is 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com oh the light the sun

is coming in the sun will come out tomorrow i was an annie as a kid who'd you play i played duffy the big orphan i figured was not good for my self-esteem considering she was called duffy the big orphan and i was like five five with my size 10 feet like okay fourth grade yeah i can't believe in fourth grade you were taller than i am today i had size 10 feet in elementary school well where did you get your shoes like where adults get shoes but like even like a size 10 is still hard to find no i'm a size 10 now it's not hard to find size 11 i used to be an 11 um in sixth grade i think i was 11 or seventh grade but then they started vanity sizing shoes and 11 is hard to find and then they started vanity sizing shoes and then i became a 10 and i

was like thank you so much hi Megan Melissa and possible guests which who knows if that's actually a thing because it's corona time anyway I'm calling today because I'm having a little bit of an issue making friends um to give some backstory my best friend from childhood and I had a falling out several years ago and I'm still dealing with the aftermath of that there's still a little bit of tension between us. Anyway, that's a whole other story. Because of that, I am having a hard time letting people in. I do have a best friend and several close friends, but all of them live pretty far away, and they've all helped me heal for the most part to where I'm ready to make new friends um and all of my friends that live here in my town have kind of shown me their

true colors so I've decided to step back from them um and just try and find friends that I like more and that do more things that I like the problem with that is I'm a huge introvert and I really like staying home and that makes it even worse with this whole lockdown thing. Yeah, and I'm not really in college so I can't really meet anybody through school. I don't like mixing coworkers and friendships.

Yeah, any tips you have would be great. Oh, and I'm 21 and I'm a Virgo, Sun, Leo, Moon and Libra rising. Yeah, any tips you have would be great. Thank you. how are you not really in school I just I just want to know what that that means like all right do you go like one class whatever I mean this is hard because I think I wonder if you kind of set up these parameters of like I don't want like I don't

want to like be friends anyone who like I like I work with and like if you're in school kind of and like you don't want to be friends anyone like from school and all that I don't know if you set up these parameters based on like maybe your ex best friend or like some other friend drama that you've kind of had that like you're sectioning it off in that way um because I think that there there's something to be said about work friends I think that there's like an appropriate level of like it depends on what you do but I wouldn't I wouldn't like turn it down like not to say that you're not in the place to turn down friends because you definitely are because you have friends and like you should be picky with people even if like you're close even if your closest

friends like this was me for so long my closest friends just didn't live here and then I was like then being like okay now I need to be picky about friends because I've like just being friends with whoever lives around me and like this sucks but if you can kind of treat it in that picky way I don't think that like yeah i wouldn't turn it down if you like have a co-worker who you like end up being like you and i became friends because we work together yeah but i came friends we work in a different industry if it's like corporate where like because like part of our job is sharing personal things and so if you're in corporate you don't want to share like your personal feelings and thoughts about things because it's a different environment so i can

understand that aspect of it because when i worked temporarily worked in corporate which is not for me um i did not want to be friends with anybody i worked with because it things just get muddy they get muddy okay that makes sense um but you got i mean with lockdown let's speak about making friends in lockdown i don't fuck i i i can only think of just like virtual friends that aren't like friends like that you make on the internet you know like i don't know if you're in our facebook group but if you are people have become friends from that um and uh bumble has friends thing a friend thing on there yeah i just honestly like i think i think it's important to have friends in close proximity to you um but i would say like in lockdown i don't really think where

your friends are makes a difference like i think like your relationship that you'll have with new friends who live nearby is the same relationship or the same communication levels that you'll have with your home friends or like people who don't live nearby and i think maybe you kind of want to treat this as like a oh this is an excuse like let me do this now like maybe you're feeling like extra motivated to make new friends or that you just feel like you have the time and you just like kind of want to get a head start on it and not that I'm going to be like don't do that I don't think that's a good idea but I don't necessarily think that you need to do that like I think I think it can be hard to get to know people like it can be it can be really easy to know

people online but also kind of like really hard like people that you know and all of that stuff Because, like, truthfully, I don't have an answer of, like, oh, how do you meet someone who lives nearby you and, like, become friends with them through, like, while you're, like, staying at home quarantine thing. Like, I don't know of a way that you can do that, but I also don't think that you need to do that. I don't think like quarantine needs to be this like productive thing for everybody and this whole like oh let me overcome this thing I've had an issue with and like let me really grow and evolve and like take this as an opportunity that like now I've been given this opportunity of this time period and now I can like heal myself and do all of this like self work like we're in the middle of fucking pandemic the only thing you need to do is like stay inside and like not get sick and not get other people sick like that's it and I think that you are putting a little bit of unnecessary pressure on yourself because like you're putting yourself in such a a fucking box like this is like that's it's really hard like that's super hard and i i just don't know if it's necessarily if you need to do it or if it's like really worth it at this point at all like i talk to my friends who like i know my friends who live here i mean like you know you uh lily uh casey talk to cammy like i talked to like my like talk to you guys and then i also

spend a ton of time facetiming and talking to like my friends who like live in San Francisco and who live in New York. And I don't, I think this is like the time when people who have friends far away, this is like long distance friendships. This is when they thrive. And I also think if you're trying to make new friends with people who live nearby you, I don't know. I mean, maybe there are a lot of people who are feeling that same way, but I think people, a lot of people are just like in times of like uncertainty we kind of go to our comfort circles and I don't think that you need to I'm telling you to stay in your comfort zone I don't think you need to push yourself out of it agree agree just foster the friendships that you already have yeah and

you can focus on making friends that you go hang out with when you're able to hang out with people yeah and I think the more that you can focus and foster those like old friendships that you've always had and the people that you really care about at least for me that was like once i like stopped trying to make friends like where i lived and just was like let me focus on my like long distance friendships then i was able to make friends where i lived because like i wasn't searching i wasn't like trying to cast it it was like oh i'm actively being around like i'm actively like talking to my really good friends and i remember what it's like to have a really good friend like communication and support me and all of that and so like i can see this a lot easier

when i'm now in my everyday life trying to meet people who like live around me um but yeah if anyone has any ideas though of like how you would make friends in quarantine i'm so i mean like me and my neighbor have never talked before ever and then like one day she was out like drawing on the sidewalk with her daughter with some chalk and then we had like a full conversation because i I mean, we just hadn't talked before and quarantine. It's like people want to be around people. So we started talking. She's fine.

That's our name. That's our other neighbor. Like on the other, like the house on the other side of us. And we were bringing groceries one day. Also here. Listen to that. Have you ever seen anyone else bringing in groceries to their house? There's like this thing on Twitter.

I mean, like, no, you never see anyone else doing it. You're like, we are the main character. Like you are your own main character. Well, as someone who doesn't bring their own groceries in either. True. I can't say that maybe everyone else was getting them delivered but they like struck up a conversation with Mons and I and we were like oh and it was just like and now every time we see them they like say hi and like we've never ever fucking talked before that and we're like okay like cool

like they're nice and friendly but it's I think that that's probably maybe that's what it is talk to your neighbors yeah from a safe distance yeah okay ready next call hey guys um i have a question regarding um different hobbies in a relationship so after some pretty tough relationships i didn't have anyone i was like i'm going to be a single pringle for a hot minute and it was awesome and um i just recently started a newish relationship You know, we're only, well, six months in, and it takes me a minute to commit to something. Anyways, I am a huge nerd, and I like to craft and cosplay, mostly cosplay. And I know that's a little bit odd for other people, especially, you know, us upper 20s kind of people.

But it's something I love to do. It's great for my mental health. it's you know fun i made friends over it i've won money through it um anyways this uh this guy is just he's supportive but not really um i went out and i bought some supplies i needed and you know the small remarks about spending money on foam or on fabric or spending money to go to an anime convention and he likes anime and we game together but i just it kind of drops hints that maybe i should get over my hobby since i'm no longer quote unquote a kid um i really i do like them we get along pretty much with everything else except this and i've tried to get them

involved offered to help make them a costume or teach them or anything like that and it's pretty much a no-go so um i'd just like to know you know what are you guys's thoughts because like i said i like him he's a pretty cool guy but i'm not sure how i feel about somebody telling me not to do something anyway love you bye-bye nope throw the whole man away he either accepts you or he does it and even if he doesn't want to be a part of this he doesn't have to talk bad about it he can just say that's your thing and that's not my thing like it's not something that you have to do together but if he's gonna talk bad about it and call it selfish and then be mad about how yeah child that's what i meant child is not selfish and get mad about how

you spend your own money fuck that no he sounds insecure as fuck like he just sounds like a like a judgmental sort of shit like i this is just like it's just so dumb like it's so there's no reason like you said like if this was like if this was a deal breaker for you that you needed a partner who was like also into cosplaying and he was like oh i'm not into that but like you do you that's just like what the fuck does he like what what hobby does he want you to do does he like want you to do what you want to do or like oh i'm afraid that people think it's we it's literally not weird at all there are so many people do it i mean comic-con is like yeah like comic-con is like one of the biggest things that there is and mostly everybody that goes there

is an adult and like if you even like look into like the this is not like what you're talking like what she's talking about specifically but like if you look into like the sex work aspect of like cosplay too and like girl like big people who like dress up and like there's just like it's like cosplaying and like this whole culture like seeps into so many other facets of like like fucking life and shit and it's like you're not harming anyone it's something that you like enjoy doing and like he needs to just shut the fuck up like what does he spend his money on for his hobbies like it's like you cannot understand something like and that's fine because you aren't gonna do it for yourself but like there's no reason to pass judgment on it to somebody else

and this is like if he's willing if he's like comfortable passing judgment on this to you like all like early on to your relationship and on something that like has nothing to do with him and like is not like harmful or problematic this is this is a warning sign that this will not be the only thing like this will be like the oh like can you not wear that can you not like do that flag on the play it's just a sports reference yeah like red flag i blew a whistle i get it i get it i get it i only think you watch soccer flag football yes true true true um this is just like this is a red flag and throw them away because like this is just no person that you date should care at all like and that's not like it's normal to not

give a shit like it not in a mean way but like a you do you i've always wanted to like i was like i wish i could like i feel like that was something like maybe like when like i have kids and they go away to college i'm gonna jump into like the cosplaying world because like i love dressing up i love crafting i love like i mean you've seen me dress in my power ranger yeah justin's wonder woman these were all for like kids parties but i'd dress up 100 like maybe we maybe that's our our hobby we do i'll fucking do it and it's just like it's just such a to me it screams like he's like insecure about like himself like his own stuff and that he's afraid that people are gonna be like oh it's like weird like they think you're weird blah blah blah but anyone who's like

confident isn't thinking that like he's he's insecure about his own shit there's so much art that goes into making those costumes too like i've seen people make those costumes and it's like incredible it's and if he doesn't appreciate that he doesn't appreciate you it's a part of you no and it's just like it's just gross and like like that the fact that he also thinks he can pass that judgment like and make you feel shitty about it like and this is something like cosplay has been in your life far longer than this fucking dude has and he has the audacity to come in here and be like and like you value this my opinion i'm like i have every right to say this and like you should listen to me even though i'm new here and like and you even and i think part of the

problem is that you had said you just thought that you were gonna be single for a while or whatever and now one guy that shows up and he's fine you didn't even say like you loved him and you're just like i like him uh don't settle for less maybe you'll find some guy at a convention yeah and also you could like you saying that like oh well like there's nothing really like wrong with like there's nothing else and i'm like yeah but this is enough this is enough like you don't have to be like oh well besides this point everything is great and it's like well no that point that you made is more than enough that like no not everything is great like it's actually it's not like a pro-con list where it's like one for one it's fucking scale and like if you're like oh he's

like you know he's like nice and like he like isn't but he's not always nice or like he like you know like flushes the toilet after like he goes to the bathroom like that doesn't it's not weighed the fucking same as like not being a judgmental dick like what a stupid stupid fucking dude yeah he would make fun of me for my um fanfic past i just know it me too we both wrote fanfic different uh different genres but you know all fanfic falls under you can just sub out names yep no mine's very specific so is yours no that is true that is true the world that is more specific yeah oh can you um slide into our dms and send us pictures of your cosplay costume i'd love to love that i was watching some like youtuber a while ago like i just got into like

you know like i don't know some like random video and they were like doing like a whole time lapse of like making it was like days and days of like making a costume it was just so fucking cool hey megan my boyfriend and i are 23 years old we've been talking for about four months and officially dating for about two months our relationship has progressed pretty quickly and we're each other's first love. We've both never had sex, but we've made it to third date so far and we'll have to go all the way.

We recently started talking about contraception and both agreed that birth control pills would be a good idea. However, I told them that the potential side effects of the pill makes me very nervous, but I'm choosing to go on it so that I can do my part in making sure I don't get pregnant. However, I am also a very cautious person

and I'm only comfortable with the idea of having sex if I'm on the pill and he's wearing protection. To me, I think we should both be doing our part to make sure I don't get pregnant. That's fair, right? Well, he recently told me that he does not want to wear a condom because it'll take away from the experience and kill the mood and that he'll just do the pull-out method. But if that doesn't work, then he sure will get through it, it being pregnancy.

I was immediately set off by this because he was taking this so lightheartedly and kind of being offensive. He wasn't really understanding how much of a pull birth control pills can put on a woman, and then he was being selfish about not wanting to wear condoms. If I forced him to wear one, he said he would, but he'd be really unhappy. So this puts me into a weird position because I want him to be happy. I know having sex is and should be a mutual thing, but I'm honestly so scared that I'll be the one person that gets pregnant while on birth control,

and it's all because my boyfriend didn't want to use a condom, and that he was so or is so confident about the pull-out method even though he's never had sex before. Anyway, so being him to be selfish and a total asshole during this, which he admitted himself, really made me rethink things and I honestly want to wait even longer before we start having sex because he's not even trying to understand how much birth control will affect me and how much a pregnancy could affect us. So I want to get your thoughts on whether or not I'm being irrational for asking my boyfriend to wear a condom even though I'll be on birth control. And I just feel like guys should have, you know, their fair share in this and that they should be doing their part in addition to us doing our part.

So, yeah, I just want to give your thoughts. Thanks, Megan and Melissa. Love y'all's podcast. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage, garbage, garbage. First of all, he's a virgin and doesn't know. No, he's not.

He's not. I'm saying he's saying he is a virgin. but going with what i'm saying he doesn't know how it feels if he's a virgin he doesn't know if it feels any different also most dudes will tell you doesn't feel that much different no if he's a virgin he's gonna nut me in two seconds yeah that pull-up method is not gonna work also the pull method does not work anyway i he's not a virgin he's not like he's this is he's either not a virgin and he is like a manipulative fuck boy or he is a virgin and he's like beyond manipulative stupid and like a kind of fuck boy that is like unhinged to like

the fucking nth degree because like he's not even going based off of like yeah the typical fuck boy like he's going off of like either he's going off he's lying about being a virgin and going off his own sexual experiences to like take it like to manipulate you and like convince you to do something you're not comfortable with or he's never even had those fucking experiences and is listening to word of mouth from other dudes and is like yeah no the concept and the idea and like what i've heard is so much better than my own girlfriend's comfort level either either circumstance he's a piece of shit i am i'm i'm so convinced that he is not a virgin at all just by the way he is talking to you about this like the fact he's super confident in the

pullout method you can't be confident in something that you haven't done before like all of the language that he is using is like and it's like oh well i would be really upset like i mean like we could if you you could force me to wear a condom but i would be really upset with this guy just don't have he's not worth it no break up with him it's literally a load of like it's literally a fucking load of shit and like it sucks that this is common but this also isn't this isn't like i i've definitely like hooked up with people or like dated guys who are like oh i don't really want to use a condom like a cool tough shit like use one and it's like okay cool well i'd still rather have sex with you like and i'm not going to complain like i want to do this

and especially the first like if he's saying you're he's a virgin like the first fucking time and all like that's it's just it's just sus as fuck to me that i'm like he's a she's a shit dude he's a shit dude which no matter which way you cut it and they're both shitty options but the only thing that you should do is not have sex with him and break up with him because he doesn't give a shit about you he literally does not care he does not care he doesn't care about you he doesn't care about himself he's trash he's trash doesn't deserve you no and also you're going through all these things and you say you don't like how birth control makes you feel physically like birth like a condom is something that you're gonna wear for a few minutes birth control has

like a lasting effect on your body yeah for a while so if he can't fuck this dude i don't i don't even want to spend any more time on it yeah and i will also say four months in first love of your life blah blah blah not fucking tread lightly with people who seem too good to be true and everything clicks and it's like a fucking fairy tale if it feel and we've had people who've been like oh well i met my boyfriend and blah blah and it's like yeah but you didn't there was no red flags like you didn't feel this it was like an ease it was like a comfortability like there is know this idea that you get swept off of your feet and it's like those whirlwind romance no it doesn't feel like a whirlwind romance when you guys are on the same page it just feels like oh

we really connect like we're propelling at the same speed it's all fine blah blah blah but this whole thing just like reeks of just fuck boy who is like just trying to have sex with you and then is gonna be out oh i hate him goodbye goodbye okay guys we're gonna take a quick break and we will be right back hey everybody we are back from our break and we're getting the rest of the calls okay hi megan melissa i can't believe i'm calling into you guys but when i realized this i like the first person I thought to call would be you guys because it's very like sensitive so basically I'm 25 my boyfriend's 25 we've been together about 10 months or so um totally in love I really feel like he's my person and from our accounts like he feels the same way about me

recently I've realized that he doesn't brush his teeth every day and I don't know exactly how long he'll go without brushing his teeth but i know when he stays over my house like even if he brings his toothbrush he won't brush his teeth if we're at his house and he wakes up at his house he'll brush them but if it's like at my house and like later on the day we end up at his house he won't like brush his teeth when he gets to his house and it kind of just dawned on me it took a while but i thought like it was like accidental type of thing but recently we had a day where he woke up at my house he didn't brush his teeth which is like okay whatever but then we went to his house after a few hours later and he took another shower and

he still just like never brushed his teeth but like if it's not like a stay over type of thing he will brush his teeth like normally like if i just see him on any other day like like it just seems like he has a rubber and i just don't know how to bring it up to him i don't know how to mentioned like hey babe like your breath stinks like I don't know I just it just psyched me out thinking about it I just wonder if you have any advice on how to tell your significant other like to improve their hygiene without being rude and like I don't want to like break up or anything like that but I don't want to also like mother him so do you have any advice on how I could like say this in a nice way it's not going to hurt his feelings I feel like I'm judging him because I

realize that not everybody's way the same way and i just want to be sensitive to that okay i hope you guys can help so much thank you bye i'm utterly disgusted i brush my teeth at least twice a day at least plus i have a water pick and those like dental like actual dental tools to scrape shit out my mouth i'm i'm all day long i'm the same as you i don't i i brush my teeth if i had my in my perfect world if i'm like not busy i brush my teeth after every single thing i eat like i hate i hate that i like as a kid i used to call it fuzzy teeth like i hate that feeling of like it's black on your teeth i even have like if i'm out and i can feel that i have those um wisp that i use oh this just like disgusts me more than i've we've had a lot of

weird calls on this show but this is the one like i'm obsessed with teeth i was going to be a dentist like that was my oh i mean to be fair i constantly have to remind mods to brush his teeth um but it's how do you tell him that's her question you just say fucking brush your teeth i said did you brush your teeth like he'll walk out of the bathroom and i'll make you brush your teeth and he's like uh no i forgot and then we'll turn around or i'll be like i'm gonna brush my teeth come brush your teeth with me like there are certain things that i get that you're like oh i don't want to be like judgmental to the way he was raised okay like that's this this is not that like this is not that at all and like it's not that he has like an aversion to brushing his

teeth it's not like there's some like like issues that need to be worked out there like i think it's truly that he just like forgets like i think he's in like a like a habit at home where he like has like you just kind of are on autopilot when he's at his own house he thinks about when he's staying with you he doesn't so then just there's no it's the i don't want to say that there's no nice way to do it but it in itself is not a mean thing like there's no nice or mean way to do it like it's just like hey did you brush your teeth and like if he's like whatever like okay sometimes you need to be a little embarrassed that's fine like be a little embarrassed like embarrassment will not kill you and it will be fine like there is no like judgment aspect on that like there's

it's yeah it's just like i'm i mean like if you're gonna if he's like leaning in for a kiss yeah you have to like mouths are dirty and germy and you don't want to swap all that dirt and germ and grossness into your mouth it's like protecting your health too and like why would you this goes back to like somebody's like i have to suck my boyfriend's dick when it smells and it's like no you don't have to put your mouth on something that that does not smell fresh yes appetizing you just need to like just straight up tell like in whether it's like it's the morning time and you're brushing your teeth just be like hey come brush your teeth with me like come do like and just do it like that you don't have to be like hi i've noticed that you haven't been you don't have

to do what you did with like us on the phone call where you explain like the origin story of it all like you can just like in the moment or then call him out like you guys are getting ready to leave the house and you're like okay you're right you brush your teeth and if you start saying like yeah i brushed my teeth and you're like did you though like what because embarrassment will motivate him in this and it's like oh and like honestly you're probably just reminding him that he like just forgot and like that's not mothering someone no that's just like sometimes some people need like a friendly reminder and like don't take care of him like don't like baby him and like don't like let like don't feel like or like he'll like if he takes advantage of it and then it's

like can't do anything without you reminding him to do anything but like fucking have to remind mods i'm like put the toilet seat down did you brush your teeth and like it's not in like a bitchy kind of way it's just like a hey i don't want to kiss you because you're like your breath fucking smells and i'll say that i'm like okay or he'll like come home from golf and like like he'll give me a hug and i'm like you're stinky or i'm like can you take your socks off your feet fucking smell like but it's not malicious like at all and i think that like we get very afraid of like hurting people's feelings but a lot of the time like that's you can only really hurt someone i mean you can't hurt someone's feelings but like when you really hurt someone's feelings

it's hi this thing that you intentionally did like if it's like oh i forgot to brush my teeth i don't think he's gonna be like wow i can't believe she like told me to brush my teeth like you forgot you have to say something you have to and really like truly like it's it's so not a big deal if you don't make it a big deal and if you just say like did you brush your teeth yes or no or and brush your teeth with him like i'll do that well i'll brush my teeth in the morning like right after i have coffee and like mott's usually excuse me starts work early i would say earlier than me i don't really have a normal job so i don't really start work i just like exist um but he like will like be in the office and like working and stuff and like when i get up

to go brush my teeth i'm like to brush your teeth yeah like come brush your teeth with me hot scene bring it on true and i also yell at him all the fucking time because i got him a sonic hair and he will like turn it off and he's like no like the timing's done i was like no it's not we get the same but i mean i've dropped mine so mine doesn't work now but like i still have an electric toothbrush i'm like it's the same amount of time dude and we started at the same time yours not and earlier than mine but um yeah just get on or another one you guys could share a dentist which mots and i do share a dentist and so then you know playing both sides i mean 10 months since a little early to be sure that is so yeah unless you have to unless you already

do what have you already serendipitously serendipitously share a dentist best of luck to you and your stinky mouth man she's going to the next hello megan and melissa and potential guests um so i'm needing some advice on whether or not a guy is into you a little backstory um so this guy added me on snapchat about three weeks ago he said my emoji was cute or whatever um and I was on the quick ad list so he added me we started talking and we made plans to hang out that weekend um so I didn't hear from him all day um and then he messaged me the next day and he said he was sorry he got busy

whatever so we kept talking a little bit and made plans for the following weekend so I met him at his house that following weekend um and it was really sweet I got there and he was outside he came over gave me a hug or whatever um his family owns this huge farm and he lives on all this land so we went riding around um on the farm and stuff and then after that he remembered I like chocolate chip cookies so he went to the store and he fixed them out we went back to his house and just hung out for a little bit um when we got back i met his brother who stays with him a little bit um and his brother is really sweet um really good looking and we have a lot of chemistry i think um more so than me and the guy that i was talking to just because he's

a little quiet and his brother's a little bit more friendly and out there whatnot so long story short we hooked up that night um and he we hooked up a few times um he didn't take long to finish um he asked me if it was okay to come in me and i said i don't think that's a good idea and the next thing i know he did um and i'm not on birth control so that's a whole nother scenario um that I'm worried about but then we had sex a few more times that night everything was fine um I stayed there I left about two in the morning um he was really sweet when I left he just gave me a long hug like he seemed super into me when I'm there um and when we hang out we hung out twice but he doesn't talk that much um I might hear from him once or twice a day

So I don't know if he's into me or not, if he's just not very, you know, on his phone all the time when I'm with him, he's not on his phone. So it could just be that he's not, you know, a texter or whatever. So I just I don't know, like how to tell if he's into me or not. I wish he had his brother's personality. But he doesn't. So what's some advice? What should I do? Should I lay low and not talk to him for a little bit? um i just i don't know like i feel like i'm more into him than he is me and that's obviously never a good feeling so any advice would be wonderful um thank you so much you don't like him you really you don't like you're more into his brother than you are into him like why are you questioning if he liked you or not you don't like him at all you like hanging out at the farm maybe you like meeting the brother you liked his family i mean you like snapping with him i guess but you don't like him and also we're in the middle of a fucking pandemic this just like pisses me off because like that like i i just like

you're being reckless and stupid doing this in the middle of a pandemic and then i'm gonna be a cunt and then being like oh my life is hard what do i do like there are bigger fucking problems like there are so many fucking bigger problems in the world that you are actively contributing to and then you're then going to like instead of like staying up all night being like wow how like fucking reckless have i been during this pandemic and like what if i've like how many lives has like my recklessness like endangered or killed or put people in at risk and all of this sort of stuff like and now but i have like i'm gonna instead worry about like does this boy like me or do i like the brother like how fucking bored are you like how fucking

bored are you that it's like not only are you going to like go out and hook up with some dude in the middle of a pandemic you're gonna go hang out with his fucking family meet his brother and then make but i kind of like his brother but i like him but like does he let me and i let him nutting me more than once even when i told him that i didn't want to the first time but then we had sex several more times during the day you just need to lock yourself in a tower rapunzel style until this is done like this is just like you're being reckless with other people's lives anyone who is going out in a pandemic like in the midst of a pandemic just to get some dick is being or even whatever you're fucking doing like is reckless of other people's lives

and then yeah you're hooking up with this dude who like is then just like fucking coming in you when you're saying i don't like and you didn't even really make like a statement that like you don't not a strong statement in that situation and that to me like we do that all the time like women do it all like oh i'm trying to like tread lightly and then for him to take that statement which like we so clearly know is a no even if it's like it's like a no but i don't want to hurt your feelings i feel uncomfortable i just met you and then him being like well you didn't say a hard fucking no so i'm gonna do it fucking anyway well she did say no and he just did it that's what i mean like you but she said like no like i like i don't i would prefer if you didn't like like why

is he even fucking asking you and then you had sex with him more times and you don't even really know this dude you just met him on snapchat and i guarantee you you're not the only girl he's out here snapping and bringing back to the old farm like and like the fact that he like lost track of time the first time you were supposed to hang out like i have adhd and i don't do that like with like if he's important you will be written down on a notepad on the calendar like and you weren't and then also like then just like the i wish he had his brother's personality but you also said his brother was like hot and like this whole thing just like just screams like stop yeah stop you're being selfish and you're being reckless and it's just stupid like you're just not making

smart decisions and the first smart decision you need to be is like staying the fucking side and like stopping the spread of the virus and like that's all you need to fucking do right now and like if you can't do that like until you can do that then do not add any other fucking things onto your plate or like because yeah that's just it's poor judgment all of this is just poor fucking judgment and you can't make good decisions if you're making like the biggest stupidest decision ever which is going out in the fucking middle of a pandemic dumb i don't care how fucking cool the farm is i don't care if it's like also he said that your little emoji looked cute like all of them look the same yeah what it i don't all it is it's like

you're the all the faces are the same we're just changing the hair and how can you tell how somebody like that's you fell for a terrible pickup line yeah and you seem bored you seem bored as fuck be bored at home by yourself get a fucking vibrator and stay the fuck away from people stay the fuck home stay stay the fuck home nobody cares about anyone people that you don't even like no no no no put this as much thought and effort you've put into this put into educating yourself about the spread of the virus and then doing your fucking part

update time yes it's time for an update so this is from season 5 episode 23 and this gal in the original call

her boyfriend had called her fat now she's giving us an update fucking hope they broke up well hello Megan and Melissa um I am calling to give you guys an update I called about my boyfriend of seven years I think it was on like episode 23 of this last season um we I was like wanting to break up with him and wasn't sure what to do um so ended up breaking up with him best thing I ever fucking did so basically what happened is I just started kind of distancing myself um we never

really went to bed at the same time anyways I was always falling asleep by myself um I just started hanging out with my friends not really talking to him much not really making him like a priority in my life um and then we got into an argument and he said something very hurtful he said that um I have gained too much weight and that he's not attracted to me anymore and so the next morning I told him that I needed space and I needed space to think And so I asked him to leave, and he did. And then a few days later, I called it quits, and we both agreed that it was what was best for us and that we both were not getting our needs met in our relationship.

And it's been the best thing I ever did. I lost, like, a shit ton of weight right off the bat. I moved in with my best friend. We got a puppy together. She also ended her engagement, like, a month later because the guy was a dickbag. um but so we are just living our best lives and literally couldn't be happier i seriously wish that i would have done this sooner but i would not trade where i am for the world i am so so so happy and honestly like i wish i wouldn't have put up with that much shit um and thank god for

my therapist because wouldn't have been able to do this without her hey thanks her name is also megan so love that um but i love you guys so much and i've called you guys so many times you guys have given me the best advice um i ended up living alone for about four months um because i was the one that was able to pay all the bills and pay the rent and everything and everything was in my house anyways and that was amazing i learned a lot um but honestly like don't be afraid to be single ladies being single fucking rocks you can have anything you want so i love you guys have a great day and

bye wow she is thriving she's like she is thriving I'm gonna take her and walk into like a supermarket

and be like I'm just taking this I can have whatever the fuck I want like you just sound like you're robbing banks like that's how like I

I love this like oh this is fucking great I think this is inspirational as hell for anybody who is like

debating breaking up with their significant other do it do it fucking do it just do it like you have i mean this girl's even the way that she just like started the call off inspirational like i want that serotonin me too fuck like it's it's just so and like anytime that you're thinking about it like it's not an easy thing to cut like you don't come to it just like oh i kind of want to oh never mind or i don't like it's one of those like you know or you don't like if the thought crosses your mind you should fucking do it

this is proof that good things happen i also love that her therapist's name is megan me too well that's it for our episode guys hope you enjoyed it if you want to call in for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and follow us on instagram we're at don't blot meme pod our own individual ones hit us follow me on twitter oh chef's kiss fantastic tweets big fan love them check out her twitter and leave us a review if you'd like to leave us a review for the uh podcast it makes our day it's a good time and we discuss all of them we do we just all of them if they're like nice one like yeah and like also like if you want to get

creative like live for it like if you want to get specific if you love a specific episode or a specific call that you enjoyed or anything we love a good positive review um well that's it guys we'll see you next time say goodbye to my apartment it's the last time you'll see it oh my gosh goodbye melissa's apartment don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts edited by katrina henning and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso