Don't Blame Me! - S6E23: He Cheated with a Witch w/ Melisa D. Monts

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

This week we're sharing advice on:    Work woes Choosing between two guys Choosing a therapist Update: Boyfriend cheating in many ways   Call Transcriptions   Follow Us! @meghanrienks  www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa  www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @dontblamemepod   https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/     Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,' PLUS exclusive bonus episodes.     Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I'll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme   Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me we are an advice podcast where you call in with your advice and then we give you some of our fantastic advice and while our advice may be fantastic we are also not professional advice givers which what's even a therapist what's the real term for a therapist or a psychic a life coach so we are not professionals by any means the only thing we are professional bitches professional cunts professional friends well no that sounds like you get paid to be a friend and yeah i mean sort of sure i get i get i mean there's a lot about off the clock things that we do too facts uh so please take all of our advice with a grain of salt or an entire bowl of salt or however much salt that you want because

we're just trying to help and we give advice like we do we give advice to each other because we're friends but like we give advice to any of our close friends so think of us like your big sisters or your little sisters because we're so youthful and young and just know that we come at it from like a tough love perspective and uh if you don't like our advice have fun yeah buckle up so i am joined by my co-host and producer and the glue to my glitter melissa d moms hello we are quite the dynamic duo i did you i mean you did see the um the edit that i made of us is share and dion yes i've been collecting it i've been collecting uh other images ones that we've like shared between each other being like look it's us someone's using our light our image

to promote something and i'm photoshopping our faces into everything love it so it's a good time this is what happens when you're in a pandemic and you can't take pictures together i miss you i know it's so oh i finally got all my meat in so i will bring you a roll would you like to share with the class about your meat got this big old thick dick no um i uh buy meat from wisconsin bison meat and have it shipped to me every few months and this order they had a special on the ground uh meat the ground bison so i got uh 12 pounds i want you to also know uh how tall are you by the way just almost one and she lives alone so 12 pounds it's a lot but it was on special and i was like you can freeze it

and uh bison actually like even in the fridge it lasts longer than other meats and because it doesn't and it doesn't have that much fat in it so like when you cook it doesn't shrink up also got some bacon and some hot dogs the hot dogs oh you love the hot dogs i love the hot actually this is the first time i've had hot like i love hot dogs as a whole but this is the first time i've had the bison ones and they're so flavorful that you don't have to put anything on them oh i'll have to order some yeah does it come in dry ice yeah that's why it's taking so long to ship because there as things trickle down people are driving less so like the production of dry ice because it comes from something with gas or something i don't understand it but dry ice

production comes from something with like people driving in gas and stuff and so since people are doing that less there's a shortage of dry ice so it takes longer for things to ship out whoa oh very interesting dry ice always i'm like what a cool weird thing it is so weird i loved it as a kid i was like i want to touch it and you don't touch it no i put my hand in to get i don't think it was this it was my daily harvest order to get something out and my hands like stuck to the box and it was burned it's terrifying yeah like it's it's not a good time um if you guys want to call in for an upcoming episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-6940-976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com if you are new here

or you're a regular listener uh actually if you're a regular listener you know that we have our new format where we usually start the episode with a callback and if you're new here um we usually start the episode with a callback but uh you know a little uh behind the scenes magic we do our first call back we do our call back before we start recording the rest of the episode and we got off the uh zoom with her and we recorded for 45 minutes because we have to include all of it so we're going to put it at the second half of this episode and when we say that this is the most wild update we've ever had ever had like she's called in several times and we didn't realize she was the same person and so it's like a lot of culmination of the different calls that she's had

and the update is a lot and she you said and she even said too that she called in we didn't listen to that you didn't listen to them i don't listen to the updates in general because again i am the glitter not the glue um but you said she she updated four different times with calls which is like because she was doing like live stuff as it was happening so this is it's literally like a saga over all of this time two years yeah and it's oh my god you're right two years holy shit yeah this is like a two-year we got a two-year breakdown from a call that we got yeah from several calls several calls and the first call was years ago and it's wild she is an inspiration to us all yeah so the whole b block is dedicated to her yes and um don't skip ahead

because you're gonna want to hear these calls and this advice but get excited but then we'll be back to our normal format you know unless later on down the road we get a call back from we get a multi-day saga about the girl whose husband was in a coma or the one whose ex-boyfriend accidentally killed someone we yeah wild times oh tomorrow is election day oh yep tomorrow's election day vote if you haven't voted early yeah vote blew up and down the ticket uh it is not a time to vote for any vote that is not for biden is a vote for trump and if you want to argue that have fun i'm not responding and do your research for this make sure your vote counts and if you're feeling disheartened with everything that your vote doesn't count your vote does and the surefire

way your vote won't count is if you don't vote right so vote for if you are someone who looks like me vote for people who don't look like us and vote for the interests of people's lives humans that are living and breathing and walking this earth and cut out all the shit people in your life and uh let's all hope that everything goes the way that we want it to go and feel free to unplug for a couple days after like it's gonna be pending huh fuck I know should we get into it yeah hey Megan and Melissa I just wanted to ask about what do you do when you're in a toxic work environment how do you handle that the right way because I've

been in so many different jobs that just don't treat me right and I just walk off that's all I do but I'm in one right now they offered me more pay up front but I just saw my pay stub and I'm not getting that um basically I'm like a contractor I guess I don't know what the word is but I go to many different like work locations per day and I like clean and I'm paid for the cleaning but I'm not paid for the driving and the job description did mention that I would be paid for the driving but it's just not happening and they told me this after I did my paperwork that by the way you're not going to get paid for driving because that's your break time and like I kind of get it but not really because I'm there 40 hours a week but I'm only getting paid for 20 hours that I'm

actually cleaning so I don't know how to go about saying hey you need to pay me for like the time I'm here because this is taking time away from my actual life and I had to get a second job on top of this just to pay my bills everybody there has a second job because we can't get by on just this job alone but I feel like we feel like we can't quit or something it's very weird like I want to quit and i don't know why i don't um they have a really big social media presence this company and they always are talking about how awesome we are they gave me like a measuring cup with their company logo on it they keep giving us like free shit with a logo on it and i'm like you could use that money to pay us more that would be something um and i just don't know how to deal

with this this is kind of a temporary job i'm in my 20s and i just need something to get me by for now but i know in future there will be things like this that come up and how do i deal with them um thank you for listening um hope to hear from you or whatever goodbye first of all let us know what what this service is if they've got like a big following um i'm curious to know because it is uh that was i think something really helpful for when uber like drivers like came out and taught and uber and lyft but like this happens all the time but like independent contractors uh through companies and that stuff when they came forward and were like hey x y and z is not great it gives the consumers that choice and understanding um

i mean my first thing i would say too if you're if you're cleaning like uh what's it called um like commercial buildings versus like independent like homes and that stuff if you're cleaning independent homes uh i would like have your own like business card or something like that and just to say like hey like if any point like you just want to hire i don't know maybe if it's not if you if you don't have that right in your contract that you can't do that um like hey here's this or like here's my like work number like myself if you've like a cell phone number like that you're comfortable giving out to like the people that you're working with um and saying like hey if you uh need any like let me know if you want to schedule you can just

also just text me and then you're not on work hours like poaching clients or whatever but like my like the first time i ever hired like a handyman and um like stuff like things like that like they very much were like through services and then they were like hey heads up we like don't get paid well it's kind of shit like here's my personal number and then i'm like oh great cool then i could just pay you personally and i don't have to pay the middleman through that kind of stuff but that also doesn't that's just more along the lines of like if you can take some clients and people that you're working for uh that can help like support you if you do like to find another job that like but you also have to be careful with that because it could break the

rules of what's going on which you know like you know i used to do task grab it back in the day and um you know i'd have people say like hey i'll hire you for this and then pay you like without going through task grab it and i had somebody do this one time and then they ended up like not paying me the fair amount and there's no way to oh like you can't go back because there's no protection like task grab it if i was doing it straight through task grab it then they would have still paid me and then like you know lay down a lot with the person's credit card so you have to be careful with that oh i didn't even oh people suck people do suck damn um but you can report this to if they told you that you were going to get paid for this have all the paperwork

where they said like they were going to pay you for it and you can report this to the department of labor um and you can also have the other people that work there like you guys can go as like a group and if all of you are complaining about this then you can get back compensated for it and i would also say make sure you leave regardless of like if you like whatever you end up doing make sure you like leave reviews on their like glass door and like say these kinds of things because if they are misrepresenting like uh that the job like online or however you applied and then i don't know like if they if it's in your if they're not like abiding by your contract or if like right before you signed your contract they were like oh psych blah blah blah or you just

took in good faith that everything you discussed would be in the contract and like they didn't write that like on glass door reviews of like they're like misrepresenting like what the job is and like what the requirements are and like they make it seem like oh you can get paid for x y and z and like you don't but also uh i don't know what the exact late i should probably know because like technically i'm an independent contractor when i work for like other when i do other things that aren't mine well you're not an independent contractor you're they're hiring your company so then you're a um they're hiring your company so they're actually you're not actually independent contractor i've been before i had a company i've been an independent contractor

and uh but um i don't there the i don't think even run in regards to an independent contractor that your breaks can be you like that's like if it's like oh it's your breaks to use to get in between to other stuff like what is their like hourly how like legally how many breaks do you have to have like based on like you know like they're not like the union but like legally how many breaks you have to have and then also if you can like look into like the specifics of like what a break entails like legally you do have rights in that and if they are skating by on that because also there's something that like sometimes companies do shit that's not legal and they just assume that you're not going to know and they're just going to say it with confidence

yeah that's what i was saying it needs to be reported if they told you up front that you were going to be compensated for your time for driving then you need to report this to the department of labor if they uh did not say that they like maybe alluded to it but didn't actually say it then as an independent contractor you don't have to be paid for things that you were not actually on the job for yeah and i think like i if you're an employee if you're a employee and you are doing this all on the clock then you do have to be compensated for that yeah and i think if you're feeling like you don't want to like you want to quit but you're not doing it that to me is they sound like they're guilting you and like they're making like you feel like oh they're

probably saying things like oh we're a family here and like when someone said when a company is like saying all that stuff when you refer to a job as a family unless i have equity in the company i'm not a part of your family like this is not a family because at the end of the day if you sell this company who's making money you not me yeah like i'm not gonna invest that site like don't don't have me invest in it like it is my own family when you're just gonna like take the kids away like that's like it's it's not that so know that like that kind of uh like manipulation and guilt tripping sort of things that make you feel like you don't want to quit or also i'd say you sound like you have like a good relationship with your co-workers there's also trauma bonding there

where it becomes like oh i don't want to like leave these people here and like we've really bonded through all of this and all of that stuff but i think the best like if you are not able to get compensated for this kind of stuff then I quit like quit and then like moving forward when you ask like how do I like these situations are going to happen again stand up for yourself do the research um make sure you have everything in writing before signing a contract and read the contract and you don't have to like hire an outside lawyer to read contracts but if you have a friend who even if it's not someone who's professionally someone just a second set of eyes who can catch things like i do like with even with writing like someone who can check check spelling errors and

things like that like just having a second set of eyes can be really great and then always with contracts in general i read all of my own contracts i'm not a lawyer i have a lawyer but i anything that i don't fully understand even you and i have done this with contracts with each other we've been on facetime and like we're both reading like i don't really get this and we google it and we're trying to figure all that stuff out um i go into every contract being skeptical that someone's trying to rip me off yeah and never taking the first offer with that kind of stuff and then at the end of the day too if someone's treating you like you're disposable most likely you are disposable in their minds and that has nothing to do with you that has everything to do with them

and then find another job because you don't have to tolerate that kind of stuff and if someone else will tolerate it then someone else can tolerate it like then fine like you i don't have to be bullied into doing something that i don't want to do or is like not the right job for me or is like not finding it's not enough for me and i'm like spreading myself so fucking thin and if someone else can do this and that's what you're throwing in my face like then someone else will do it so yeah best of luck though and don't yeah don't ever feel like you owe your company shit and i'm such an advocate of people if you can working for yourself and you know maybe you like look into you and some other people that are part of this and you guys go form your own company

and then you can compensate each other however you want to stick it to the man yeah we're very into that i work with you you're the person i work with well best of luck and also uh it's not like we do live in a capitalist society that like has made like work so important and everything like that but you should i know you're young you're in your early 20s but focus on how you can have a job that like working multiple jobs is not something that we people should have to do to survive and invest the time in trying to find a job that you can work at that doesn't like you don't die because you're doing both of those two like those two different things at the same time like that's so hard and uh i don't know if

that's like possible but if there's a way that you can you know still have time for yourself and still be able to like not just like live to work and work to live i mean not work to live yeah yeah but best of luck stick it to the man and please slide into our dms and let us know what this company is so uh if you can't put them on blast for this then we can true all right on to the next call I was dating this guy Jay he decided that he didn't want to be with me well no okay I asked him if he could see us getting married he said no and then I broke up with him ish I was just like I can't do this anymore because I need you know I need to feel stable and I don't feel stable with you if you're not willing to like see this as like a thing that

could be going in the future and we kept talking and stuff like that we're still talking to this day he's still the first person when I call when I'm going through something and he's always there for me but I started seeing this guy I'm gonna call him B um and he's like a artistic dreamy musician with and like both of them are musicians but like B like composes music and J is like a producer so like they're both like you know i don't know i have a thing for musicians whatever fuck me they're all emotional and it sucks a i'm sorry j is a cancer and i'm sorry j is an aries and b is a cancer and b is like really cool and sweet and kind and caring and checks in on me when i need it but he doesn't check in on me quite as often as j does and maybe it's just because j's

used to me needing constant reassurance or whatever but like jay's recently expressed that they would like to like be back in a relationship with me and that they can see me being their forever person but i developed feelings for b and b refuses to tell me how they feel about the relationship at all and they're just like i really adore you that's it that's like the only thing that i'll hear is like the most i'll hear is like compliments and shit but like they won't admit that they want to do something or be something like and i know it's because like b has like a lot of emotional issues and shit like that what cancer male doesn't fucking cancer but like i don't know i just don't know i'm a pisces by the way so i'm just i'm all water i

just want to i want to love both of them and i kind of express being in an open relationship with Jay before and he's into it but the thing is because I'm so like emotional and like insecure honestly let's just like blame it up to my insecurity let's chalk it up to what it is I don't think I could be in an open relationship

with him because I'm too in love with him I don't want him fucking anyone else but I still want to fuck other people because like he made me feel like I wasn't who he wants forever so like now I want like I don't know not that now I want to fuck this other person because of that but now I met this other person who I want to fuck

and like i don't know it's not i don't know it's complicated that's why i need your help thank you guys i love you so much bye i am exhausted this is the prime example why we say to write down uh calls before and also why i like to know your astrological sign because yeah you're a pisces so B is the emotional one and then J is the one that wants to be in the relationship but may be

open but J she didn't want to be in an open relationship until she met B mhm and jay and you sort of ended things because he couldn't see himself getting married to you i'm gonna be harsh with you for a second are either of these people um i not not entirely sure what they're uh i mean she said he for both of them she said they for b b okay so partner um

are either are you in an official relationship with either of them and have you ever been because like if jay i think she was with jay because she said jay said that they wanted to get back together yeah but but but the way that she said it was like they ended things but not really kind of because he didn't want to see them getting married art i think that neither if if you have these insecurities that like high highly insecure person but if you have insecurities that are surrounded by a singular person and those insecurities are going to factor into your like relate like if it's like oh i didn't have these insecurities and now i do have these insecurities with this person and therefore that is going to change the kind of relationship i'm

going to have with them and get back together why like you're you're acknowledging this like close the door on both of these people if they wanted to be with you they would be with you and maintaining a relationship and checking in on you i'm gonna level with you that's really not that fucking hard that's not a lot of effort sending you a text message calling you checking in with you like that's that's not like don't paint this to be this like huge romantic gesture because it's not like that shit is so fucking easy so fucking basic like you for all you know you could be getting catfished like the people on catfish are like messaging every day like all of that kind of shit that like i think you need to have higher expectations for the people in your

life and i think if you wanted to be with jay you wouldn't have feelings for b and i think level with you b doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and you know that which is why you're not closing the door on jay because you're not secure in either of these things as being it so when it doesn't feel like it it's not it and just because you like think that you or just if you like regardless of how you feel about someone and i don't mean to say this in like a shattering way but how you feel is 50 of it and how they feel is the other 50 and you can't change that percent and right now you are giving more than 50 hoping that they're going to meet you there and they're not they would be putting as much effort into this i think if you i think

what you will do is i think you will get back into a relationship with jay and then end up in the same position yeah unless they've you just need to i was just going to say just take a step back from all of this don't be with any one of them date yourself for a minute um and also uh maybe don't date musicians for a hot second well also because she never you never like officially like stopped talking to jay yeah when that happened like what am i excuse me what i'm just gonna say they are a shitty person for telling you that they don't see themselves marrying you and then you guys break up this is me assuming that you guys were boy like uh you guys were in like a partnership you were in a real a relationship but if you weren't in a

relationship then i also think you just need to really really sit with yourself for a while but the fact that they were still talking to you all the time checking in on you that's manipulative like to say like yeah i don't want to marry you and i like we're going to like break up but i'm still going to talk to you every single day which that does not let you get over them at all and then they're like okay now i'm ready for this back again and that becomes pick me syndrome where then you become like oh okay they're picking me they're picking me and you don't have any of the power in that situation like it is oh okay i stuck around when they told me they didn't want to see they didn't see a future with me i stuck around and now they're back saying that they do

and like i'm like okay you picked me so then that becomes that like solidifying or like validating feeling that you didn't get before you need to stop talking to both of them and take a long long long ass break get go to therapy if you're not already in therapy and like focus on you and when somebody likes you you'll know and you don't need to ask them you don't need to like not ask them but like you don't need to be constantly like you said you're constantly searching for validations it's because they're not the right relationship. You won't need to feel, be constantly searching for that.

And if you're constantly searching for validation, hi, very much relate, but that's me. That's something that I work through in therapy. That's something that's like a part of me. It doesn't have to do with the relationships. And if you're finding in every relationship, you're doing that same sort of thing, this is a situation where, okay,

maybe your picker's off and maybe you are transferring any sort of like childhood stuff or insecurity stuff into a relationship which is like when we like test ourselves or whatever and that is not healthier at all and stop yeah just stop it just stop watch some movies read some books like you seem to really be like this is this is like a fanfic like you know you are relationships shouldn't stress you out as much as this is and you're very frantic and trying to get everything out and it's just like no get out of this triangle and just be a dot be a dot be a dot or every yeah be a dot be a circle

circles very masturbating you know i know that's why i changed it to that do it do it just for you and take a break from musicians for a while yeah ready for the next one hell yes hi megan and melissa hope you're doing well and staying safe here's a little background on me i'm a straight woman gryffindor cancer on the cusp of gemini i'm calling because i'm hoping to get some advice on how to start therapy It's something that I've been wanting to do for a couple of years now, but it's also extremely terrifying to me. I've tried to reach out a couple of times to different centers, but they typically don't answer, and I'm quick to hang up before they can even answer the phone. I know one of the first

questions they're going to ask is if I prefer a male or female counselor, and I don't really know how to answer that question. Due to some really terrible situations with my sisters and close friends throughout the years, it's really hard for me to trust women. It takes a lot for me to open up to any of my girlfriends, and it's been a huge strain on some of my friendships. It literally took me listening to this podcast for at least six months to really trust your input and advice, which I do, by the way. So going to a female therapist is intimidating and a little daunting to me. However, despite my ability to become friends with men easier, I feel like I also I shouldn't have a male therapist because I want to be able to openly talk

about sex and relationships and therapy and giving a man's perspective on that feels almost a little inappropriate to me. Wow. So if I can talk to any recommendations on how to a feel comfortable with therapy in general, and then B tips on how to find the right therapist would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I will. I'll start by addressing the gender therapist wise. Um, I, my therapy journey started with, uh, and the only therapist I currently see is Mots and I's couples therapist, which really she, at this point, like we kind of just use her as our individual, like together, but it's helpful because we hold each other accountable. Um, and when she was helping me find my individual therapist that I had for a while, she had recommended that she thought it would be important that I have one who is, uh, an older woman who is more maternal, because that was so much of what I was going to be talking about in therapy

would be the most helpful in like progress for me to be someone who in this situation was that kind of like, yeah, that same gender, same age range as that. And the fit in itself didn't really work out for her and I like I don't work with her anymore but my current therapist for also like being uh a being a woman that kind of you dealing with your internalized um massage like I'm just gonna say like internalized massage in a way that like is not I don't know if there's a better word for it but like you've had issues with women in your life and like a lot of your issues now seem to not just stay with those particular women with like your sister and your mom that it's traveling into your other like you have a hard time opening up female friendships

like you have a hard time like even taking our advice for the while because we are women you have an issue with women and unpack that with a woman that in itself the fact that your therapist being a woman is the most helpful i i personally think and that's what my therapist had said for that and if the first one doesn't work out then then that's then that's okay and i think like how to tell if it's working out or not i i personally think that like they're definitely something that like right off the bat you can tell if you're like oh i really don't like you like that'll sometimes happen but then there's other times you're like i don't know yet and then it's i say waiting waiting it out i think it probably took me three months or so before i was like i just

don't like how i could tell was i i didn't really value the therapist i had before that i got didn't i don't work with anymore i didn't really value her opinion like there were certain things that i was like if i told her i was like i i'm not gonna listen to what you have to say because like i don't really like it like and i don't i'm and i'm correcting you and i'm saying i don't really like resonate with like x y and z but like something happens in my life and i'm more like i don't want to talk to my therapist about this and that's like that's not what it should feel like with my other therapist, something happens and I'm like, Oh, file that away in my brain. I can't wait. I need to talk to her about this because I not like a, like she even said that she's like,

I think that you should think of your therapist. If she wasn't, if I wasn't your therapist that like, I would be your friend, like someone who you could just confide in. And like that same sort of like, maybe not excited to like unpack trauma, but if something happens, you value my, like you value my presence and my opinion enough that like, you want to talk about it with me. And that I think is a great way to kind of tell through that. But I personally would say I think like the hurdle in itself would be having a female therapist. And I think just having a female therapist would be putting in that work for you. um and yeah i mean i also don't trust uh men as much and i also you know my innate fear i'm like well what if you then suddenly have a therapist who then like like a male therapist who i don't know is also sexist i don't know like that's just where my brain goes which is not putting a lot of

faith in a male therapist which is just my own bias yeah the first therapist i had was male um because it was like at school so I could only go with who was available um and he was great and I never felt like he helped me work through a lot of things and helped ease me into therapy and I never felt like um I was in any weird situation um or that he made me feel weird or anything but you know when we when she first started the conversation I was gonna say um focus more on like the relationship and bonding with the therapist as opposed to their gender um but now you've kind of convinced me maybe she should go to a female to work through her own issues because she's not going to be able to work through them with the male um but also like

male and female aren't the only two genders like you could go to somebody that's fluid you could go to somebody that's non-binary. Um, but yeah, I think the first step, but really the first step is just like going to therapy and you won't even stay on the phone long enough to talk to the people to put you through therapy. So, um, going to her other situation, you've just got to maybe tell a friend that you're doing it and have them hold you accountable or be on the other line just until you get through to talk to somebody um also like there maybe look and see if there's any that um you can email first and then they'll call you back but then you have to be accountable for actually answering the phone so it's just getting over that hurdle keep in mind that like you're

going to therapy because you want help with a certain situation you can't get help if you don't don't actually like follow through so think of it like more as like a goal or like something to put on your to-do list like i have to get this done so that i can work through my own issues all right let's take a break okay guys we are back from our break and this is the moment we've all been waiting for the insanely long and wild update so fucking excited gird your loins all right so we are with the caller from season four episode 26 i think it was the first episode that Nikki Lima was on and so now if you will share a little bit about the original call

yeah so my original call was um I when I used to drink I was drunk one day in my apartment and I found out that my boyfriend used to be um in like a furry dating site before we were together and um was in a succubus reddit thread that was really interesting and at the time the advice that um y'all had given me was like kind of dance around it ask him about it but like at the end of the day wasn't anything that he was doing with anyone else or like it was just stuff that he was into beyond any part of our relationship cool whatever and so um after that happened i did kind of ask him like i was like oh my god like i was on twitter the other day and i saw this thread about like succubus stuff have you heard anything about that because i don't know anything about

my existence that's literally like how i would have done it exactly like so random but guess what i stumbled upon yeah it was like no idea twitter wild and so um but he was like you know i like i've heard some anime people talk about but i don't really know too much about it either google it so it's like okay whatever like tried cool so um i actually also happened to be the caller who called about um Columbus Day that you guys talked about where it was yes so he's this is the same boyfriend we had been together for um a little over two years so flash forward we had that issue talked to um I like followed you got your guys's advice and we had we're seeing a couples therapist for a little bit and that's kind of when I started thinking that maybe this

relationship was it the future that I envisioned it was going to be a little bit just can you share with everyone what the Columbus Day one what the call was yeah so that call was basically we had gotten into an argument because this is when things started to heat up in terms of um the United States at least being more socially conscious and aware and obviously that brings in discussions like your own personal lives and we got into an argument one day because we tried to tell me that um people hating on columbus day was like cancel culture and shit and how it wasn't like it was suppressing white people because it was columbus day stuff and i told him he was full shit um and so we got into a huge argument about it sorry i'm just vocalizing my feelings yeah

that's also how i felt i mean that's how i felt like when i called about it and i know when i called back i gave an update and you guys were like i'm happy you're happy but like i think at the time i was just kind of lying to myself to like save space a little bit because at this time period we were actually in the process of buying a house together so it wasn't just that we were dating or like living together we were buying we were in the process of buying a house together and um he is nine years older than i am so i'm 22 and he turns 31 now in december and so looking back at it now it was a lot of a lot of that but anyway so that's what the columbus day call was about and so we had started couples therapy and saw like maybe two or three um sessions

with like that one therapist and then the therapist kind of made it seem like we didn't have issues and so we just kind of stopped going essentially is kind of what happened and he hadn't really wanted to go anyways and when the therapist was like like made it seem like oh you guys like this isn't like a it's not like a seriously and this isn't worth like breaking up over like i see this kind of stuff all the time and i felt like i was maybe then kind of over exaggerating you're in the south as well yeah was your therapist white no it was actually a black woman um yeah so it was through better help it wasn't like in person yeah and so um but so when that happened i was just kind of like okay so then maybe i'm just like overthinking this and like they're right and

like it's not the end of the world because like to some extent i was like okay i think he's a good person or like he doesn't actively do like racist things i guess that i know but it was like a whole like conflict in my mind that i just kind of dug down because i was like okay we're buying a house together like this is not the time i guess for me to freak out about it really that would have been the ideal time for me to freak out about it right but so fast forward to now like melissa said I've called about four times so each was new information so I think you're really gonna enjoy this Megan um okay um but so basically what happened was the first week of October it's Wednesday and he is like acting super weird he goes to bed at like 5 p.m on Wednesday and I

was like okay whatever maybe you're just having a day that's happened to me too I've gone to bed at 5 p.m one day like whatever and 5 a.m for me but um and so I let him go to bed whatever I finished the season finale of the 100 that's how I keep days trapped in my mind and I go back upstairs and when I go back upstairs he like wakes up and he's like and because we're in our house at this point we closed on our house in April and now this happened like the first week of this October and so he's like acting really weird and he goes back downstairs and I was like something is off here so instead of hacking into all of his accounts because i was like that would be a lot to do um i just googled a username that he uses for everything and i found it come up

on a review for fiverr which is a website that people use like traditionally for social media graphics or things of that nature yeah but so when i look the review is for someone who claims to be a witch from slovenia and offers manifestation magic and now this is an immediate red flag for me because i'm into manifestation zodiac all of that stuff and he always kind of thought it was stupid like he wouldn't even download costar type deal and so i was like okay that's weird if you wanted something in that realm like you could have told me about it but so then the review he left was like this woman is giving me everything I needed in life so I was like okay that's something is weird there so I guess just password and log into his Fiverr account and it turns out ready

that he had paid $1,200 to this woman to perform succubus sex magic for succubus to be sent to him in his dreams so that was my first call I was giving you that update well first of all Fiverr like i only think of about five for like you know making graphics and things wow i didn't know it went that far oh my god ripped the fuck off when i tell you twelve hundred dollars which i mean financial security is something that's important to me he makes a good amount of money he's 31 but we own a house together i feel like twelve hundred dollars is not something you spend without telling someone else maybe like 500 but like 1200 i'm like how can i get in on this oh my god i want to become a scammer yeah so but so this is the thing this is like the kicker too

and i know this like now but like i said i have various updates is when i asked him about it confronting about it we did the whole conversation he doesn't even believe that it was a thing he essentially paid 1200 for something he knew was not going to function and ready disgusting because white men are disgusting disclaimer but i guess true um he was sending her pictures of his cum on symbols that they did to complete the program thing and when i tell you the background of this picture was a public bathroom i vomited i threw up i honest to god it's wednesday like 2 a.m into thursday thursday i had to go in person to my office because i have to mandatorily do one day a week in person whatever so that thursday is the day i'm going in and it's 2 a.m and i'm vomiting

into the toilet because i see that he's been masturbating in public to take pictures of his cum on symbols wow also i just want to say you're the only other person i've ever heard like i've had things in my life where i'm like so shocked i am like not even i like just throw up and i've never heard anyone else do that so that makes me feel that's good because it was very shocking but i was also i was like deeply am i in a rom-com literally i felt like i was in a movie because i was like i'm sorry i just heard some disgusting information and i threw up like actually like okay cameron diaz sit down like the fuck and so i get there's more there's more that was my first update call like melissa said there were several so that happens wednesday into thursday i have

like i confronted him wednesday because i i just don't what else am i gonna sleep with that information that's funny so i go downstairs and we talk about it whatever i'm upset i'm crying um he was like this happened in july like i saw the time stamps for what i was reading or whatever and i was like okay well you're sleeping in um our bedroom today so i don't know what to tell you and we'll talk about it tomorrow because it's 2 a.m and i have to wake up at 7 to be at work i don't have time for this so on thursday rolls around i somehow get through doing my job and then at this point in time i also booked a tarot card reading for friday because i was like someone needs to tell me what i'm doing with my life and my standing therapist appointment was

for saturday morning so um i go through the tarot card reading and i talk with my um like my individual therapist i started with her in august so she knows like a good deal about my existence and um so i do that and at the end of this the tarot card reading and my therapist kind of convinces me like maybe this is something you can work out like you own a house together whatever like this was something that happened online like maybe this is something you can deal with and so my therapist was like write a needs list and um you'll like present it to him or whatever and then you guys can go from there so i like wrote it out i gave it to him saturday night or my niece was like I need full access to your financial accounts like I want

your passwords to your emails like 24 7 I don't care and it was just like stuff like that and he would like agree to everything and so on Saturday I was like okay so maybe this will be like like cool like maybe this will be something that with like help we can like work towards because at the end of the day I'm thinking back to to my original succubus call where it's kind of like this is something that cannot be fulfilled by any human being this is just like an imaginative thing and so um and so that kind of like it made me feel like maybe it wasn't totally cheating it was just something like he hid from me and was gross and he obviously needs help to deal with at least the public masturbation thing and um so that was Saturday so then Sunday he went to his

friend's house to go watch a football game um I know we're in a pandemic there's only so much that i could do but um and so he went to a friend's house to watch a football game and i was like something is weird here because i had a dream saturday night and i was like there's more there's more going on and we talked about my needs list he was like i didn't do anything else nothing else happened but so sunday i hacked into his desktop computer because he's a big video gamer and it just so happens that the same pin codes he uses for everything was the pin codes we used to get into our house so he's stupid or he wanted to be caught and i log in and i find tinder messages instagram dms a disgusting not safe for work discord chat where essentially boys just send

each other a bunch of porn and he was sending them nudes of girls he used to fuck when he was like single or whatever and i was like thank fucking god i never sent this man anything because we had been pretty much together every day since I met him yeah I know because I was like I'll obviously end up here but it was like screenshots of like their Facebook profiles and their Instagram profiles so you could like see who they were and then like nudes like nudes on nudes on nudes and it was just him but a bunch of other disgusting discord gamer guys um so never dating a gamer again in case you're curious but um it was disgusting like it literally some of the stuff i saw i was like i feel like i almost like i guess this is legal but i feel like i have to report it

it's not legal it's not if you if they're distributing uh nudes without consent the women's consent it's not legal well maybe i should report to someone because it was literally like but when i tell you the disgusting things that they were sharing even stuff that they could find publicly for porn it was literally them sending like porn to each other back and forth and it was gross like it was like that type of like the kind of stuff that you see where it's like woman getting mistreated like beaten up like that kind of porn and it was it was a lot but so then i see all of that and then i go into his emails and then i find emails where he's asking for the location of like a happy spa in charlotte or something and so that's what got me because

everything else was just like instagram tinder like you know like regular cheating stuff um but so but yeah i took screenshots of everything i have voice recordings of all our conversations because I'm afraid his dad is going to make the house thing really difficult because he's an old Baptist white man from a very small city in North Carolina. He's the villain of the movie. But so I'm like protected in that sense or whatever,

but I just wish I would have checked his email because he got a notification that someone logged into his Instagram. And literally I had already screenshotted all the DMs that I needed to and I saw them delete before my eyes. And then I got a call from him and he was like, are you on my Instagram?

And I was like, I don't know. are you scared that i'm in your instagram and he was like well no i wouldn't be and i was like really i wouldn't find anything in your interview he's like i'm coming home i'm coming home and i was like you don't have to come home if you don't fucking want to like we're good here but so he came home we got into a huge argument about it that's when i did the voice recording and i was like you need to like figure this out like whatever because like that was the end of my straw so then saturday going into sunday at this point i'm still in charlotte i'm still having to stay at the house because i don't have first of all i'm not going to burden a friend with having

me stay there because I have a cat as well in the middle of a pandemic like maybe things have been different but like at this point I don't have anywhere to stay in Charlotte that I feel comfortable enough to like do anything so Saturday night I was like okay I'll figure it out on Sunday I'll call my parents and see what I can finagle from there but so then Saturday night I couldn't sleep again and I was like I'm missing something else to this story so I went into the guest room where he was sleeping and took his phone and I logged in and that's when I found out that he had um paying sex workers to meet up with him at hotels while he's supposed to be at work to have sex since february

yeah so the audacity white men have in case you're curious yes yes yes yeah obviously yeah but they're very safe um yeah they um make like them send id like pictures of their ids and like their linkedin profiles to make sure they're real and i was like you go oh fuck yeah girl yeah but like yeah since february so not only was it in a pandemic that i have been i feel taking as seriously as possible like if i have to go into work because they make me like i'll go into work but i haven't i haven't gone to a restaurant like my parents have been bugging me forever to like go out even to like an open air cd i'm like gotta go like i'll go grocery shopping because my house doesn't have like a delivery area yet

because the address is new so like that kind of stuff and to find out that not only was he like doing this but like in the middle of a pandemic so he obviously cares two fucking shits about my health but um on top of that i asked him um i was like have you been using condom because at this point in time we hadn't been because we owned a house together and you know i'm stupid so not stupid but you know made the decision that yeah you were in a you thought you were in a committed relationship where you know yeah but so at this point like dude tell me at least he's like I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you so at this point it's not only risking me pandemic wise I have to I did go I'm good in case you're wondering to get those results back but I

did have to like go through all of that as well and then on top of that this happened starting in february we didn't close on our house until literally the end of april which means for those whatever two almost three months that we were like going through the process and getting all this paperwork that we needed and everything he was actively doing this and still pushing me to end up buying a house with him because it wasn't even so much this is my idea if it had been up to me we would have moved into an apartment together and like we done a lease for a year because we didn't live together before this this was literally us moving in together and buying a house but my parents were like this will be a good financial investment for you eventually too

because the price is just where they were you know all of that stuff and so but so that means he was literally pushing me while he was having sex with these sex workers to close on a house and we ended up closing all while he was doing this from February until now that I found out and the last one that I found was from the last week of September so when I found this out it was like eight days ago oh my did you like like storm into your therapy or like whatever like virtually to your therapist to be like excuse me let me tell you all of the like holy shit so i saw her sunday or saturday morning or whatever we had a phone call on saturday night because i see her through better help again and so she was like i'm washing my kitchen right now if you want to

like call me we can talk more about it and i was like bless you katie so we talked about it saturday night and then sunday this is like 4 a.m so when i saw the sex worker stuff or whatever i ran to the guest room i threw the phone in his face and i started yelling at him in spanish because what else am i supposed to do with my life and um he started crying he had like a fit where it was like bad enough where i was like this close to dialing 9-1-1 because i didn't fear for like my own safety but he was like doing the like masculine like punching a hole in the wall trying to break my phone like being like upset that i got caught and like not your playlist might get you through the workday but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs what work helped them

build a life how did they adapt as the world around them changed with ancestry you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree you've got questions we've got ancestors search free until august 31st visit ancestry.ca for details terms apply knowing how to deal with my fucking emotions and um so it was like that and so I texted her at 4 a.m and she responded to me at 7 a.m on Monday or like Sunday morning and she was like you can call me whenever you want to we're good and I was like okay I'll give you a call like this time and so we talked about it and um and I told him I wanted him to leave the house but he ended up throwing like such a huge deal about it that when

monday morning came around he left to go to work and i just took my cat and like everything i needed like essentially to survive and i did end up going to that friend's house for monday because i was like if i come back and he and um i'm here like on monday i don't know if it's gonna get violent i don't know how it's going to be so my parents were like you need to go somewhere else and then my friend was nice enough he was like stay with me on monday night like well we can deal with it like on a Monday night so I was like okay so I literally dipped on Monday I ended up calling his cousin to be like someone needs to be home when he gets here because I don't know if he's gonna hurt himself and I know that's not my fault but I also don't want to deal with the

complexity of that either yeah um so yeah so then his cousin came there and then I ended up staying in Charlotte for that work week because I still had to go in one day at my office and my friend it also happens to be my co-worker so i ended up going in on the same day and then coming back and i ended up staying that week and then i was able to drive down that weekend to where my parents live where i have been quarantined for some time wow so what's happening with yeah like how do you feel like valid because there is something about like when you know and like i think we've all been there when like you know that someone is not like giving you the whole truth and then there can be this kind of like determination like i'm going to figure this shit out and then there comes a point

where it's satisfying but then there's also that like dip of like well fuck like what now so like where how are you where what are you feeling at like was it a good enough because even you said like even at the beginning of this update when you were talking about like the couple therapists how like you it like making you feel like you being like oh maybe this isn't the right relationship but essentially everybody else kind of telling you like or maybe it is like was it how do you feel now like good or yeah so i feel good that i guess um like i felt like something was weird since we saw the couple's therapist or whatever but like i kept chalking it up to like maybe the pandemic is affecting him as well um he's actually a veteran and has struggled with

that a little bit so i was like okay so i kept giving him excuses and i was talking to my therapist about it too but i felt like something was gone so i feel validated in the sense that like I was right and like I know to trust my intuition because I did start feeling like something was up in like March but I blamed it on being in isolation and like all that stuff and like ever since then and he said that at one point he was like you tried like so hard to um to like talk to me like make sure everything was good and like I just kept telling you I was fine and I was fine or whatever and my therapist was like I mean you did try so I also feel kind of good about the fact that um regardless of what happened like it wasn't had nothing to

do with me it had everything to do with him and I still like tried I guess um but I've also just accepted that I'm never gonna know everything that happened because obviously he kept lying to me at those like three individual stages where I kept asking like who knows like this would be the time to tell me so who knows if I found everything who knows if I didn't but like at the end of the day does it really matter because obviously if he's willing to lie to me not only for that long of a time period but like every time I caught him it was like a different effortless lie I feel like so so did you guys like officially like did you have like the breakup conversation or was it like because like this is like it's a steady decline of like

all of the stories over and over again so like was there a point like what was the official conversation you guys had or is it just like peace so um if it were up to me I would have ghosted him that would have been very sad you have a house together i know um so and eventually so he didn't know i was left monday and when he got home on that monday he was like are like your stuff or like you're gone like where and i took my cat so that was like a very obvious indicator that i was like and so um but so that was like he kept calling me and stuff and i just kept declining his call because I was like I don't have the mental capacity to deal with any of this and I knew his cousin was there as well so I didn't feel like I needed to respond in order

to make sure he didn't harm himself or anything um so it was like all that week he kept calling me and he still continues to text me like stupid fucking shit but then finally that weekend I called him to tell him he needed to leave the house because I was um going with my same friend to go pick up like some more essentials that i needed because monday i literally just grabbed like a pair of jeans and a t-shirt my cat and i left and so um i had to go grab like some more clothes i wanted to grab like my passport and like cell phone everything just just in case because you never know and i was smart yeah you're fucking smart dude thanks but i was like i don't know like if he's capable of doing this what else he's capable of doing um so i like grabbed

everything important essentially and when i called him to tell him he needed to be out of that house since i feel like am i ever gonna see you again like what's gonna happen and i was like what do you mean are you ever gonna see me again like i was like i might start a youtube channel you could follow me there and so but so no he i he was convinced like to your point so i hadn't had that official breakup conversation when this happened because in my mind i was like i left i don't understand yeah could be any and um but no to your point like he called me and he's going through he's like I talked to my parents he was like I know I like kind of like forced you into this house so whatever you want to do to feel more comfortable again he was like if that means you

don't want to live in the house and you take your name off and I stay here that's fine because like if you want to sell the house we can do that too and he's like if you want to go back to living in an apartment like you originally wanted together and he was like or we could even together yes he said as in like like he was convinced that this was just something that like I left because I was being emotional and um cancer moon but not that cancer moon and so um he was like yeah so he's telling me this he's like if you want we can live apart again like we did when we first moved to charlotte and i was like i do i i literally i was speechless i was like i don't understand how you came to this conclusion and i so that was i guess our break of conversation because

i literally told him he was fucking stupid and then he was like what do you mean and i was like that's not happening or whatever and so then the house thing has been a series of kind of back and forth between me and his father because his father also happens to be a realtor and so it's been a little bit of back and forth but i think where we ended up is um there's something called an assumption of a loan where essentially when two people are on a mortgage um one person can assume all responsibilities and let that second person off and um he's going to return my investment back to me which includes my half of the down payment and then my half of the mortgage that i've been paying from may to now so it was like all like

five months um so that feels good because at least i'm getting my investment back and what i was hoping was going to be like a financial investment later on or whatever um i did end up finding an apartment that's actually in an area that i've always wanted to live in and i just wasn't ever able to afford it but um with covid they were giving really good deals and obviously the last thing i want to be doing is having to move in the middle of everything but um at the end of the day i have to go back to for my job to make sure i'm financially stable and everything and i really do like the city um so that worked out really well i found a great floor plan it's like a triangle it makes me very happy the complex is very industrial my mom saw it like through the

virtual tours and she was like this is a really good place for you and um i also happen to be the person who called that a man followed me up to my apartment like about a year and a half oh my gosh you guys have answered a lot of my calls but so this building oh my god is very safe and like um like it's a lot of like key lock things like it's like a luxury type building in the sense that there's like a security guard there and all all hours that sort of thing so i wouldn't even have to call a cop to deal with anything we have like our own private security which makes me feel better the garage is all like locked everything's secure so that made me feel really good too because that was one of my things is i'm gonna have to go back to an apartment i'll have to be worried again about

something happening like what happened last year when i first moved but i don't have to deal with that and so everything just kind of seems like it fell into place and like maybe this was the right step for it to happen which is why i think i am not as like devastated as i was like when i broke up like my high school boyfriend to go to college or anything like that no like the pieces of your life like all it's all of them are falling into place like the place you always like area you always wanted to live in couldn't afford like all of that kind of stuff is like great and i'm sure you would already do this but i would tell the security guard like right off the bat like hey i like i'm living alone i've had one incidence where someone has like followed me and like really

freaked me out just like as a heads up i had like a very crazy ex-boyfriend who like would show like would just like a bad relationship in general and i told like the security guard of the building that i like lived in and he very much like he like would like every single fucking postmate that came in like not even just for me was like so diligent about it would like actually walk outside the building and make sure when i would get into my car he would like see me and knew all of that stuff but i i this is like i'm so happy for you and like the the arc that this has taken like pieces falling into place i do need to like note on the fact that he your ex is nine years older than you and you're interacting with his father who is like i'm just the idea you 22 you said

right yes you're 22 and so like let's just this is you interacting as like the most mature party in this relationship you interacting with some man who is most likely in his 60s yes yeah he's actually closer to his 70s um but so then this is the other part is i would like to say like um as much like you guys always talk about like age differences like they're like it's a weird thing like you always have to like you feel like it's cool or whatever like he's giving you attention and i actually i think i called back i don't know if this ever aired with like advice about a girl who was going through but it was like she was like almost minor type thing but i had called back giving advice i was like well you know you need to like be aware of like life stages or

whatever um because at the time we were in the same life stage he was doing his second degree we met like we were when we were both in college type thing so like i thought that was like enough but just for anyone listening it's not and it's still creepy even if you guys are in the same life stage it is and it's i'm so glad you can like see that now and say that because it's so fucking hard for people to recognize and like there are very slight exceptions to like that kind of like rule or whatever but it's not even necessarily exceptions it's more like things that you can see past and like it is like it's always it's always weird it's always going to be like there's always something more to it it's not just like oh ageism is not there's always something to

it and some people can look past that like some people really can but does that mean that it's like that weirdness doesn't still exist or like what the reasoning behind all of it is like it's it's not and the the thing with it is like the it's the power dynamic especially we live in like a patriarchal society like when you have um like a man who is older who already assumes so much power in in this country in the world yeah and then being in a relationship with someone younger that power dynamic even though we're talking about like oh maturity way more mature way more mature but it's that power dynamic it's like i'm already even we're the same age same everything i hold more power over you but then when that age thing switches it's even more yeah and i will say like

i'm very fortunate and lucky that um like i said finances have always been really important to me so i always made sure i had like a savings he didn't know about where i was like good for six months if like something ever happened or anything and like i feel so lucky for that too because what if i did it and i would have had to yeah stayed in the house right dude you're fucking smart you are smart but there are a lot of women right now in the pandemic that are stuck in the house with their physical or mental abusers and they can't get out so yeah i'm glad that you had a plan and that you trusted your intuition yeah but so those were my crazy updates kind of funny how i called like four bajillion times and everyone thought saw this coming or something it no but

i mean we all we all have to figure those things out like for ourselves and you never let your you never like like we we had it on i think was one of the more recent episodes maybe we recorded it or it's already up i don't remember what it was but about like at a certain point we can know something we can like not trust somebody but we can still like choose to believe them even though deep down we don't and like that's that's fine and i think a lot of people beat themselves up over like oh why didn't i leave sooner why didn't i do x y and z and it's like but at the end of the day everything that happened it didn't just like wash over you like you kept it like you you take note of it you like file it away in your brain and then when it comes to the

point where like it is that breaking point it happens and then you can be like okay i trusted my intuition and my instinct and just because like sometimes like i i wanted to make it work and i like made these choices to hope that it would work doesn't make me like it doesn't make that a mistake that i did that it's like something that i had to go through to get like this this point i'm glad that you're out of that situation me fucking do let's hope the next time i call it's about a really pretty girl who i'm nervous about going on a date with once the vaccine comes out that's the goal in life i love it that's that's the best and you guys have a beautiful apartment together and you just have lots of plants everywhere and it's and then she also has a

cat too and the cats become best friends yeah that's my life yeah i like it wow well we're we're all hoping fingers crossed maybe we're rooting for you maybe we'll spend the 1200 to manifest um well there's no succubus involved but maybe we'll find we'll we'll do our own scanning which manifests for that for you things are really appreciated they're raging all over fiber like the amount of people i saw him messaged no everywhere they all hide under not hide but like they don't promote that part of what they do a lot of it is like witches like manifestation magic rituals that sort of stuff but they all do some sort of sex type well melissa let's start this shit i know it's the next don't blame me endeavor yeah i mean we're not we would do it

wow holy fuck my gosh thank you so much for sharing all that and i know that you're still like actively going through it but you seem very strong and i'm glad that you know that things are working out thank you i appreciate it i just figured you're smart as hell thanks i just figured at least i hope someone listens to this and like goes back and like doesn't go through anything that's like aggressive but like can see like me i've been arguing with myself and even with you guys and all the advice that you guys have given if you go back through the calls of like is this going to work like is this something i should deal with and i always kind of made myself deal with it to like almost meet expectations other people had set for me and it's it's not

fucking worth it i'm 22 and look at where i got myself now so i don't have like the rest of my existence to go do things that actually make me happy holy tits everybody yeah wild fucking wild she's an inspiration to us all and yes thank you so much for sharing that's saga i was gonna say story but this is a saga the twilight saga has nothing on this did you ever watch those movies i watched the first one because my sister had a seizure and it was the first time she had a seizure and um she loved the books in the movie and so i stayed up and watch with them with her over and watch the first one with her over and over again oh you're such a good sister so that's a movie to watch the first was probably the best which terrible so i'm saying

a lot um well we hope you guys enjoyed this episode if you want to call in for an upcoming one please leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can leave us a voicemail at nope you can leave us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com oh i forgot to say this in the beginning of the episode please write down what you are going to say practice it needs to be under three minutes and you also need your parents permission or be over 18 yeah so we appreciate uh and you can all appreciate like shout out hey pisces caller you're very sweet you didn't write it down can we all we can all collectively agree you didn't write it down and it's a little more all over the place which is it's just not what we

it's just easier for us to follow when we've got more concrete um please uh get out there and vote and uh oh follow us on social don't blah meme pod our patreon if you want to watch the video version of this and we also have our live streams we do two a month they're very fun it also helps us continue this show and we love doing this show where can people find you on the internet they can find me at she is not melissa where can they find you they can find me at megan rinks uh okay guys um we will see you next time goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts edited by katrina henning and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso