Don't Blame Me! - S6E4: My Twin Slept with My Best Friend w/ Melisa D. Monts

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

This week we're sharing advice on:    Boyfriend talking to a teacher Boyfriend checking in on his ex Boyfriend texting escorts Talking dirty to your husband Update: Coma   Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @dontblameme  https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/ @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa     Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,' PLUS exclusive bonus episodes.     Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I'll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out my YouTube channel:  http://youtube.com/meghanrienks Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me in quarantine in our homes wait i didn't even ask you are you are you bleeding i just finished oh we did two days ago okay so i'm on day four now so we overlapped we did we did and um this is obviously pre-recorded guys but um yesterday i thought it was the end i'm so happy to be here i woke up in such a good mood and ron's was like what's up and i was like i'm alive like i don't think you understand how much i literally thought i was going to die yesterday um 99 sure i had no variances that ruptured and um yeah i'm just like i've never been one of those people who wakes up and is like blessed happy to be here blessed but like I feel like bless up wake up bless up honestly like this

is the first time in my life I've ever like woken up like blessed maybe after this evening or two where I was like I'm happy to be here like thank you so much for having me thank you for being here today thank you for being here today literally how I feel like oh great yeah it's a good time and also i had coffee today and i didn't have coffee yesterday well i did but then it came you had it again i had it again which is somebody who has a very weak stomach i could give you a full blown ranking of the worst things to um corn dogs worse for me worse i'll never eat a corn dog and i can't stand the smell of it i feel so bad for you because corn dogs are like an elite food like and the thing is it's the smell of them being of the oil with the cornbread and the hot dogs

because separately i can eat i eat hot dogs probably one every other day in quarantine in quarantine and i've got the bison ones so it's not it's not like bad there's nothing bad in it there's no nitrates yeah and like it's just like a bison tenderloin that they turned into a hot dog tasty yeah i love that i would say the worst thing to um this trigger warning for anybody i forget what it's called if you i almost said mesothelioma that's no that is not what this is infomercial but if you have a fear of throwing up or whatever i'm not going to get explicit about it but the the number one thing i can say with full certainty is popcorn because it is painful it is so painful you know when you poop out like like

i said porn kernels uh i have not ever pooped out a porn kernel but you pooped out corn and how it's like whole no matter what you do it's like corn yeah it doesn't digest that's the same thing with popcorn and so like when you are up chucking that shit it is painful um so yeah so glad i could share that with you guys thank you so much okay well um this is don't blame me guys if you want to call in for an upcoming episode our phone number is 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and um yeah should we get into it should we give some advice let's do it oh wait i do also want to say if you're watching the video version and i'm drinking out of a plastic water bottle moss is a dipshit for some

fucking reason he bought a water bottle when he was like out getting gas and i was like that was really stupid why would you do that but i'm drinking out of it because i'm refusing to let it you know go to waste also is fiji well i filled it up it's been like but on top of that um my other like cute water bottle the pink one that I always have there's like an air bubble that like I can get it out of the straw but then it just comes back and it was just making me like so gassy and I was like so fucking annoyed so this is this is where I'm at right now okay let's get into it hi Megan I'm 22 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for three years six months ago I discovered he's been talking with an older woman an ex-teacher who went after him at the beginning

of our relationship uh he did tell me about her and she kept chasing him but he told her no and i thought that was in the past but as i said i discovered those conversations they kept having and some were of about i don't know politics and normal stuff but a few of them were of sexual nature and it wrecked me but it also opened an honest conversation about what happened why he did it and also about other problems we've been having but also avoiding we were very happy it's not that we weren't but we never just said some stuff out loud that bothered us like i found out i sometimes made him feel stupid and it felt good that someone else told him he was brilliant and intelligent this woman i told you about and also other stuff

and we came to the conclusion that's why he did it also because the whole fantasy you know and he also told me that when he was a kid he was abused and now he has a hard time saying no to people and yeah he didn't blame all of this on his childhood or me or anything like that he owned up to what he did but also i think that played a big part in what happened because she did insist she did keep messaging him and i know he's not a saint and i'm not blaming her i'm not one of those girlfriend that blames the woman even though she's married and has kids whatever yeah but in some ways it made us better because we're more honest and we're working on our relationship and he's demonstrating me how much he loves me and how much he wants me in his

life so i'm leaning towards forgiving him but sometimes i'm just so hurt she cut off but they weren't just talking i guarantee that no that's the thing that like oh i mean i think it's i i'm there are plenty of different ways that like your relationship can strengthen and going through shitty stuff is totally one of them so i'm not gonna knock that at all but i don't think either you don't have the full story or you're not telling us the full story because like did they stop talking like did he own up to the fact like it seems like everything that he owned up to was more justifying and the reason behind it less of like what actually happened and um we are also if you're new here which may be so actually i have

gone a couple dms people who were like just discovered the podcast yeah there's been a lot of people in the comments too or on youtube sup guys um well if you're new here and you haven't watch all our episodes our whole thing is um if you find one thing it's like the iceberg there's a lot of other stuff below that so if you find out one thing and your partner is like yep that's all there is here's all the reasoning to it that's a load of bullshit like when you know that you are when if something's been like if they're hiding something from you no one's hiding one thing and if you want to know you can obviously never know for sure if someone's telling you the full truth but I go by the game or the mindset of if you then tell me things that I didn't find

that I wasn't close to finding that I had no idea about the things that you got away with that's the stuff that that's how I know you're now being honest with me but there's no way no matter how good at snooping I am that I found everything all in one go and that's all there is there yeah yeah um there's there's just a lot of things going on here first of all the teacher's a predator and and they're married with kids like she needs i don't know if she's still at her job but her behavior needs to be reported yep and that's not any nothing she did was okay at all so um i'm guessing it was like a college teacher i fucking hope so yeah i hope so too um but like that that's bad she and she tried to talk to your boyfriend when he um when you guys first

started dating but also the part that got me was that you said that he said this was a fantasy it was part of the fantasy aspect so that means that he's been thinking about this and just because and and it would and it happened like he hit on she hit on him when when you guys first started dating i don't think it was just hitting on i think something else happened and then they've been dragging it out this whole time but she's been married he's been with you so there's been this weird in between and like megan said i don't think you're getting the full story at all um and also he made a lot of excuses and was gaslighting you and my big thing that i live by is excuses build bridges to nowhere and you said he took responsibility but is he really

because he's not like he's not telling you he's not telling you everything and and I think you need to be asking more questions if this is where you want to say and the fact that they're you're even questioning if you should forgive him like that was your question should I forgive him or how can I forgive him that's something that you have to come to on your own conclusion we can't give you the tools that you need to do that like you either forgive somebody or you don't you either believe him or you don't you either move forward or you don't yeah if you're seeking outside opinion for something like that you want permission to not forgive them because there's like if you've been fucked over by somebody or anything like that and you choose to forgive them

that's all on you like there is no like you don't ask anybody else what their thoughts are like because truthfully this situation doesn't paint him to look good so asking anybody what do you think I should do they're gonna say I think you should fucking break up and so if you want to stay in a situation that doesn't look great and that hasn't been the best and doesn't paint the person you want to stay with in a flattering light you don't ask for input you don't ask for like hey should I stay you're like against any my better judgment or anybody else but they think I'm just gonna fucking do it and that's nobody else's business but my own but I think like if you guys have been together for three years you're 23 if we're gonna assume you guys are around the same

age that means he was like 20 when this stuff kind of started and i think the big tell here that he's protecting her is that he's giving a lot of justifying reasons on his end why he partook in this with her versus yeah this was predatory this is something like i'm gonna report her her family i need to tell her husband all of that stuff he's still protecting her because he's he's making it also like oh well I like I like had like trauma as like a child like I don't know have like I have a hard time like saying no and all of that stuff that's something that that's still that's still making it his fault and putting it on him and I think that that totally checks out with trauma but also regardless of his trauma even like because of his trauma he should

be going to therapy and like learning like oh i need to report this woman because she preyed on me and because i had this trauma and this was something that like i can then put on myself versus a he needs obviously taking responsibility for like i fucked up but it's also confusing to me like the fantasy excuse like the fantasy excuse and then the trauma excuse like you're right it is gaslighting it's like here's this thing that happened to me which we've said on here a bunch that that's it is a lot of sexual abusers have sexual like abuse in their childhood but a lot of people who have been sexually abused or abused do not continue that cycle it's not a cause and effect sort of thing and using that as like a reasoning but then also the fantasy

aspect of it i just think they don't coincide like pick which one it is and i don't know if you've had a conversation with this woman or if you kind of you know when you snoop and then you find enough and then you like can't handle anymore I don't know if you continued to dig but if I were you I would be like I mean truthfully I don't I think if you're asking to stay I don't think that you should but I think truthfully go to couples therapy and like as soon as you get into therapy being like I need you to tell me literally everything because I'm going to tell this because like here's like if this woman has like a family and kids she doesn't want that to come out so if you then come to her she's probably going to be way more fucking truthful than he is because

she's like no you can't do any of this stuff like i'll tell you everything that you want to know as long as you promise you don't like tell these people and all of this sort of shit but she needs to be like reported for her job yeah it's just you're in a shitty situation but i think except like forgiving your boyfriend is like step seven of like is he willing to report her to the school is he willing to like go to therapy is he willing to share this information with her family and like if he's willing to do all of that then i think consider staying with him but if he's not willing to do that then he's protecting her and like not protecting your relationship or just fucking be done because that's a lot and then just report on your own yeah

ew i don't get the teacher fantasy i've never had a hot teacher i was gonna say i don't think i've ever had a hot teacher but i flirted with a ta once and i got like a c in a class versus like failing it yeah i mean tas are like a year older than you like that's not yeah it's not the same thing no but he was he was not cute either and i was like please oh gross gross gross hi megan hi melissa i'm 19 oh just kidding i'm actually 20 years old um i've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now um where do I even start um so I've noticed starting about six months ago that my boyfriend would shut it up from his previous relationship

before me like just check up on her Instagram check up on her Twitter and I've confronted him about it before more than once and he's always told me like does it mean anything like i just best for her like they didn't end badly or anything but and i understand wanting the best for your ex especially if you and not in a terrible way like i used to check on my ex every once in a while but for like the past year i haven't really checked up on him because i just don't care I'm not with him anymore for a reason and I told my boyfriend like is there like a reason behind it like is there like any other reason and the only thing he told me was no there's no meaning behind it I don't know why I do it and it's a little unsettling to me but

I'm trying to trust him and I told him that I have no reason for him reason for me to believe that he would cheat or do anything like that because I know he loves me but I just don't really it's just hard for me to i don't know like i trust him but it's just i can't help but think there might be something else behind his actions like unresolved on something unresolved still between them but that's just my gut intuition but it's hard when he doesn't admit it and i just need your advice i don't know if this is something that i should seriously consider being like the deal breaker especially if i know that they haven't talked to each other or he hasn't reached out to her or anything so i just need your advice thank you

this is i would dude i would lose it i saw mods check like look up one of his ex-girlfriends like once and they did not like they did not end well like he does not speak of her fondly at all and I like saw over her shoulder I was like why did you like search her on Instagram and it was like some it was like someone had like a she's got a pretty unique name and somebody had like uh someone had like applied for a job or something he overheard someone saying that she like might end up working at some other place and so we like looked up to see if it was her and I was like okay but that was like it I don't know what I would fucking do does he follow her or is he like doesn't follow her and then looks her up because i think that if he doesn't

follow her and he's looking her up is like worse yeah um and when you said it has to be because he wouldn't be like well she said checking in on yeah but i don't know and see i thought when when she was gonna say checking in on like they text sometimes like hi how are you doing and that seems less bad to me than this because if you didn't end badly then why aren't they friends yeah because to me that seems like one of those things like oh she moved away or it was like there was something that like what it wasn't a choice on either of their parts because like why aren't they friends and like you're like yeah like why does he have the need to if they're not friends yeah why does he have the need to check in on her and i don't i don't even think this is checking in

or checking up because checking in means that you're like having a dialogue with somebody he's just like facebook stalking her or is to stalking facebook who does that like me but it's only Because I don't follow my exes on Instagram. Yeah. So what is he doing? One. And then two, if they didn't break up badly, they're not friends. That sounds like there's still unrequited feelings there.

Yeah. And I hate to say that, but I fully agree. It, to me, sounds like the reason why they broke up was consequence. Like, it was outside of either of their control. so he's like still kind of thinks of her as like maybe like the one that got away or as a possibility and this one's gonna hurt a lot but also maybe if like he is not i don't want to say he's questioning your relationship but maybe that he's like thinking about this other girl and it sucks but i think like you've talked to him about it and he keeps fucking doing

it that's the thing like you've been together for a year and a half and this started six months into your relationship and like he still does it and just tells you that it's normal that to me is like the biggest issue because if you tell someone something that hey this makes my like feelings hurt this doesn't really feel great I would like an explanation like and he's like he gives you the explanation but just kind of like if this is not like a hard fucking thing either like I'm all about like not like wanting our partners to read our minds but like you checking in on your ex like that's in movies sir like that's like spoon fed you know that this is like a way that people react to that that it's like not my favorite fucking thing and so him then continuing to do it but

just tell you that it's like normal and there's like nothing there that I think is weird and I don't necessarily think that he's like cheating on you or talking to her but I definitely think that he is thinking about her a lot and like I I don't know like I will look up which of my exes have I looked up I've like if someone has I've got like one like my high school ex is still kind of in a like a somewhat friend circle with a lot of my high school friends and so if I see like a tagged picture I'll be like oh what are you up to like what are you doing and I'll like look that way but I don't check in regularly like maybe like we broke up when we were 17 that's not even the same like that's been 10 years even stop but when I still had feelings for him when we after we broke

up and I was like in college and like I was in other relationships that didn't end I would look back all the fucking time and like but once you're in I think it's very weird once you're in a relationship to check in on your exes unless again you follow them like Motz follows his like high school girlfriend or I don't even know if he follows her but he's like a ton of friends who still follow her and she got engaged and then he was like whoa like I need to go like see what these pictures are but like he's showing me being like oh my god remember this girl I used to date in high school the stories I've told you like she got engaged I can't believe it like blah blah blah but I just think that he is downplaying it a lot and regardless if you trust him or not I think

like we kind of have this idea that oh my partner loves me and they're not cheating on me therefore I can trust them and like I think there's so much more nuances to all of that and like your feelings and taking them into consideration like your partner can do things that are hurtful that don't that don't involve cheating that also can just be like oh he's not necessarily prioritizing my uncomfortability and my feelings. And he's just continuing on with this and ignoring all of that stuff. So I think that you, you need to like evaluate that. And then I would have another sit down conversation with him and tell him how, as opposed to like questioning the reasoning and everything by it, just tell him how it makes you feel and say, this makes me feel

like you have unresolved feelings with this girl. Why did you guys break up? Get all that? Like, so if you're not friends, why are you still checking in on her? Cause it's like, makes me feel like you still want to be with her or you're questioning our relationship and if he's like no no i'm not no i'm not like okay so then what are you gonna do about my feelings like what like what's your response then like how are you you have made me feel this way so how are you going to fix it yeah and if he's like i don't know then fucking toss the boy in the trash yeah he's not worth your time and then if you find out that he's sneaking around and doing it later oh you should follow her you should i hope she's private request to follow her

mm-hmm that's petty yeah that's the point it's me but if she's private if she's private and he doesn't follow her then that's not true i would still follow her but again i am petty and it's petty against your boyfriend and not the girl yeah she doesn't know the girl doesn't know yeah that's true or she might true but that means that he's actually checking in on her yeah she does know okay so i don't i don't even know how to stop this story but so um I'm 22 I'm Dutch um and I just heard that my twin sister had sex with my best friend my best guy friend and I'm I just I don't fucking know what I have to do about it I'm I'm so mad I'm so mad at them I don't they're so fucking stupid because they they told me that

they like each other and that they're dating now and that now I can't like make choices for myself like to hang out with my friends because he's like part of this friend group of mine um and my sister because she's like my twin sister so she will like come along and stuff and like do things with me and that's fine but not all the time and now he's told me that like because they're dating now that he did because she's his girlfriend she can just always come along and like i don't i don't get to have my own fucking friends and and like my my dad found out and he's like totally mad at them and he he said things like um no that boy's never coming into my house again get him out is he there right now because they're like on this camping um and he's probably gonna like show up here and

like throw him out and I don't want to do that because he's my best friend it's so fucking unfair why couldn't it be just why could I don't I don't even know how to fucking explain anything more than this but how how am I supposed to do with this how am I supposed to be okay with this what the fuck man oh I don't I don't know I don't know um so right what else do you need to know um i guess i guess that's it i really hope you can give me any sort of advice i feel very much betrayed because they like kept this a secret and they have like all these secrets right now for me and i didn't know and they said that it's been going on for like a little while and i don't know what a little while means and it's just i don't know how much i want to know because it's like

so fucking gross and i just oh i can't i can't i can't i don't fucking i don't know this is extra gross because do you guys look alike because you do yeah um but i don't understand why it's i mean so i i get it in a like a proxy sense like i have a friend who's uh a fraternal twin so boy girl and she was very very adamant on like none of our friends could date her brother like it was like no like it was just like too too fucking weird because they had to share everything growing up and that's even more of a thing with like boy boy girl girl um twins is like like you're sharing like absolutely everything so I get that I think like I don't I mean I think I would feel I understand like the the betrayal feel I mean like I'm trying

to think of like how would I react I would be I'll be honest if like one of my friends decided to date Leo I'd be really fucking pissed because like for her she's being put in a position where she's gonna have to choose her twin sister's side and this is like a friendship that she has no desire to end with him and when they inevitably break up she's going to have to so I think that's the thing that like I would get I would get annoyed with if like a friend of mine dated like my bet like if my best for if like Sydney fucking dated Leo I would be like what the fuck are you doing like why are you ruining my life but we also can't control people and I think like those feelings are really natural and understandable but I would break it down more to oh I feel like

she's taking stuff that I have and I feel like this was my like my friend and now that friendship is in jeopardy and then I would really as much as I think you need to talk to your sister I would really fucking talk to him and have a like conversation with him about that and her and say like if you guys break up I'm not choosing a side like unless one of you like unless I decide that I don't want to be friends with him like and that's on my choice like you need to know that like yeah I'm not going to like end this friendship with him and then the same thing with him and just really try and prioritize that but I think you're in like a sucky situation that also happens to be like the plot of edge of 17 and a lot of other movies yeah um but i'm also like they like each

other and they can't help how they feel so why would you want the two people that are important to you not be happy yeah i think they should have asked i mean not asked or like giving you a heads up i think it's but i think they but i think they waited to see if it was an actual like if they actually like really liked each other before they did something that like they could have just like hooked up and then because you started off saying that they had sex but then you ended it with saying that they are boyfriend and girlfriend so like they clearly waited to see if they had like actual feelings before they brought it to you and and and made sure that this was real so that like you like i think they were being protective of your feelings just like not in the it's hard to predict

how you would have wanted do you know what i mean they had a 50 50 chance either we tell her right off the bat and she's pissed or we don't tell her right off the bat and maybe she won't be pissed and we wait and figure out what we actually have and they actually like each other now so I think that you should share your feelings with them be truthful but like also if this like don't stand in their way like you can't people can't help their feelings yeah I think you need to protect your relationships with them and I think like being angry is totally valid and I think like vent about it and all of that stuff but I think if your number one fear is like losing him as a friend I think if you stay angry and you project that anger then you're gonna lose that

friend and I think that's it is kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy in that sense and I would also like talk to your dad too and just be like hey they're my like this is he's one of my good friends too and like yes it is gonna take more scheduling of like hey let's hang out as friends and like my sister will be here or she won't and we'll figure that kind of stuff out and have a conversation with your dad to be like i don't i know that you want to like you're being protective of her like relationship and like her but how yeah whatever it is but i also need that to not get in the way of like my friendship with him too and so like also they're like understanding they're 22 it's not like they're like high school kids he's protecting her uh yeah i mean i think

it's a sucky situation that is already happening and i think it's how you deal with it it's whatever outcome you want that's not them breaking up like whatever outcome you want you need to focus on doing what you can to get that outcome versus like changing what's happening right now because like if like if you force them to break up you're also gonna lose him as a friend and then you have like all this fucking beef with your sister and i don't think that's what you want so i think figure out with the set of like the hand that you've been dealt with the situation it's not ideal it's not what you want express your feelings and then come up with a game plan an action plan to get what you can get out of this and like protect your relationships and friendships and all of that

stuff best of luck i apologize though sorry not a fun time are you in love with him i know is she okay guys we're gonna take a quick break and we will be right back and we're back from our break let's get into the rest of the calls hi megan and potential guests um so i i don't know how to put this okay so a few weeks ago i found like random numbers on my boyfriend's phone and they were like like it was like really weird messages like these like grown women sending pictures but they weren't like naked or anything and then they were just saying things like do you like that and stuff like that um and he would give him like really simple answers and I like freaked out about it and like I was at his house but I left and I didn't text him about

it until later yeah and then like we got in an argument about it and he was like oh no like it was just like me and my co-workers were messing around seeing if like escorts were real and stuff like that and I was like okay like I like just just to believe him um and that was that but we were hanging out yesterday and he fell asleep and I went through his phone again and I found weird text messages with these like random women again and that's when I realized okay like it's not a work thing like it wasn't like a joke um he was making with his co-workers or something like that like it's like for him you know um I guess I just like should I be okay with it I don't feel like I am but like should I look at it as a form of like oh like that's just how he like hit a form

of porn almost like as if he were to look at like an only fans account type thing if that makes sense um yeah um and I don't know how to feel about it because these are like grown women um and we're both 20 so like I didn't know he was like into that and I just don't know how to feel I don't know if I should like break up with him or because I obviously like he might be like a little embarrassed about it because it's the first time he had to lie and say it was a co-worker thing like they were just messing around and seeing if the best words are real and whatnot um yeah I don't think he's actually going and doing anything I think he's just texting um from what i saw and read so yeah any advice you could give me it would be great um thank you

so much and i love the podcast i needed to see if escorts were real like do you think they were unicorns right like you didn't believe that's not an excuse like he just pulled that out of his ass and why did you believe that escorts are for not texting yeah if he wanted to see if an escort was real he's like well let me see if i give her money what's gonna happen like it's not that i mean you can google escort like that's not he's not just texting these women bro come on it's in the dictionary this isn't a mythical creature no also like why i'm sorry but why would you buy the excuse that him and his co-workers were just looking this up to see if it's real because like she knows he's dumb yeah she knows you know that he's an idiot but

what what does he do for a job like what is he doing for work that you're like yeah this is something that's normal that happened you didn't think it was normal because you checked his phone again you knew he was lying um i get it you gave him the benefit of the doubt the first time because you love him but like he's lying and it's not like porn because with porn you don't lie about porn yeah no there's like and these aren't i uh i think you're being really fucking you're like maybe he's like embarrassed like maybe he's covering his tracks that's what it's not he's not embarrassed he knows the reason why he's not being honest with you is because he knows what he's doing is not cool and like if you want to do something in a relationship that like you know

your partner's not okay with and if you really want to do it fucking double check with your talk about it have a conversation but like there is you're saying that the pictures like are just normal pictures like they're not sexual like what escort does he think this like where did he go like text a mom.com like what the fuck is that is that a website no i mean it should be it's got if it's not it should it should exist but it makes no fucking sense like no are these people he is if it's sex being an escort it's escort is considered sex work right yeah yeah so is he paying these women or nah and like what is he paying them for to text and it's not within an app they have his phone number none of it makes sense like none of it adds up at all and i i think

that it sounds like he's on craigslist looking up these women what i was gonna say yeah like this is and it's and it and it's not like an innocent i just want to text it's hey i'm into this let me text and then let me go fuck a mom and like girl get the fuck out just get the fuck out he's too stupid regardless like he's stupid because he didn't delete anything he's got numerous oh my god pictures and phone number yeah after you already found it he's an idiot you deserve better if you are dating someone who doesn't know if escorts are real break up with them yeah they're they're so dumb you can't you can't fix stupid yeah he is a fucking idiot yeah like he knew they were real that's just the

bullshit excuse that he gave you and you bought it but stop buying it like you don't you don't keep buying things that are defected like you know this is a lie stop leave him it's like you're buying like a an apple computer from craigslist that costs four dollars and it's just like someone drew a picture yeah he goes this is what it is and then stuck the apple sticker you know you get a million of those with the real stuff yes that's what it is yeah and it's don't buy it he is a fucking idiot and he thinks if he can get away with a lie like that that you are also dumb and you are don't be dumb break up with the fucking boy oh my gosh and save the numbers and then start texting them and then be like hey how yeah you should text them regardless you should text them

yep just to see because i'm curious i want to know for my own curiosity i want you to text them and report back what they say and girl you need to start trusting your own fucking gut and like the second that you saw this that you didn't say anything and you just left and then you wanted to text about it I think you are not giving yourself enough credit to be someone who can like stand up for yourself and like say how you feel in the moment and I would take this as like a learning experience of hey my gut is right I can believe my gut and I can believe these instincts and so that if this happens anything similar happens in a relationship or I feel uncomfortable or I find something

I'm going to stand my fucking ground and I'm going to talk about it in person because I can And I am capable of that. And yeah, I, cause I, I think that he, I don't know what other relationships that you have or other previous relationships, things that you've had, but the, cause no offense, but like, I understand that like, we've talked about it before. We're like, you're snooping and you find something and then you're like, oh no, I'm not going to say anything because I want to catch it in the moment. Like I want to either like make this massive plan to like make it like, you know, a foolproof sort of thing. And you didn't do that. And so that makes me think that you just were afraid to like talk about this kind of stuff when you shouldn't be

because clearly your gut instinct is right this guy is an absolute idiot and a piece of shit so trust that moving forward yeah and please text those numbers and let us know or just send them to us send us the numbers text them if you don't want to we will i just can't please let we need we need more we need we need we need more text the numbers give us the numbers someone in this situation out of her and us needs to be needs to be texting these texting these so you're still texting other bitches yeah in the words of black china all right call number five okay hi megan and melissa and potential guests i hope everyone's doing well during this quarantine um my name Well, never mind. Ignore that part. So basically, just to give you guys like a rough background, I'm 34 years old. I'm married to my husband for a little over four years.

We have two beautiful little girls, and basically why I'm calling is I needed a little bit of advice when it comes to the bedroom. So my husband and I are very open when it comes to, like, what we like, what we don't like, things like that. And one of the things that he would like me to do is talk dirty to him. and I know I'm fine with you know empowerment and stuff like that but for some reason I feel really dumb when I try to do that I kind of smile or giggle in my mind I just don't know how to do it and sound extremely confident so I just don't do it but I know that he wants that so how do I do that and still not feel so dumb should I you know have a blindfold and blindfold him and then do it and or do I like I don't know if he wants more of like a raunchy type of talking dirty or

I just I don't know any advice you guys could give would be really great um I'm an Aquarius My husband is an Aries with Pisces tendencies, and my kids are Leos, so we are a very fun bunch of parents, but I also want to show my kids, you know, it's good to have, like, a stable marriage, and if my girls, you know, when they get older, they want to talk to me about things. like I just I don't know I just want things to be good anyway that sounds so stupid but anyway thank you I wonder what the other kind of dirty talk she thinks there is that's not raunchy it could be just like describing what's going on but not in a dirty type way okay like more seductive less like nasty yeah um my first advice as someone who I like I love dirty talk if you're not talking and we're having I'm like what's going on I hate this like please like speak up um but I would say I think a good way because I think dirty talk is different in

every relationship like I've been with some guys who are like not into it at all and I'm like not into this and then other guys that are into like yeah I guess like not necessarily different kinds of dirty talk but like what turns them on or whatever and I think a great thing is does he talk dirty to you is there things that like because most of the time when you're talking dirty yes it's for your partner but I think like if it makes you really uncomfortable like I don't think you should do it in general but I do think that if there's a kind of way that he dirty talks to you it's gonna give you a an insight into like what he thinks is hot and like what he's turned on by and then from there you can see oh am I turned on by this too is this something that like makes

me feel kind of sexy and I think the at least for me the thing that makes me feel bad like the best is when I feel the sexiest and like if you're talking dirty and like the response you're getting is incredibly positive that's that feels great and it fuels you and it's the same thing as blowjobs like you love to give head because you're good at giving head like you don't like it if you're not good at it and i'm not saying you're not good at dirty talk but i think you're not getting the response that you want or you're not she's not comfortable because she's not probably comfortable saying the words out loud also she doesn't know what her husband wants so i think the first step is to ask him is asking him like what he wants said um ask him in the moment but

you could also ask him just like hey heads up like you want dirty talk like what do you like what are you into and if you're uncomfortable like if he feels like weird saying it out loud like if there's like a fucking porn that you liked how they talk to each other like send that over like give me some reading material yeah study up yeah uh i was just gonna say i won't share with the audience but your profession came up on your caller id so um you could use that i think that that's a start well imagine we're wrong and it like came up wrong it was like an old like it's an old it's whoever the person who had it before she just got this number attorney i mean that sounds hot to me smack that gavel like come on throw in the book i mean i would say a good

rule of thumb like guy most men um unless they have like a really small penis and like they know you're lying like yeah like tell them how great their fucking cock is don't use the word like penis i would say like pick those like pick like pussy cock like sexier kind of words but things that you're comfortable saying i think yeah yeah yeah you get more comfortable the more you say it and you're only at least for me i think the more comfortable the more you get more comfortable the more you say it and the more that you then start to lean into what you get the positive feedback and positive response from and then that in turn will become like maybe become a turn on for you because I think that I yeah I think I if I would also just have him do it too

and you guys obviously have like a great relationship and so I don't think that there's any reason why if like it doesn't go well or if it feels awkward like you can stop and like let him know that and he sounds like like he sounds like a good dude that he's not gonna be like no you have to fucking do it yeah and i also think like it can be really jarring when like we're over here being like maybe like i love being called a slut in bed like that's like it's not like the first like that's so not how it has to go like the first fucking time that you like do dirty talk it doesn't have to be this kind of like really like scary sort of like hella fucking intense like shit it doesn't have to be like that it can just be more like seductive and romantic

maybe you start off by like sexting beforehand and like you like like you guys are both at like work or something like that and like you can just like start off by like sending him like some sexts and like have him respond and like see how he's into that and then that can kind of give you the uh the lead into it but you guys have a great relationship and sounds like you have a good like a good sex life and you're really open with each other so i wouldn't treat this like yeah something that's also that huge of a deal because like if this is something that he's into now you guys are married you have two kids this isn't a deal breaker for him no it might be something where he's he thinks this could help spice things up yeah and it's something that he's

like oh i've always thought this like might be like fun like let's try it and just because someone is into something if it's something that they haven't done with their partner before it can kind of feel like like oh shit like i need to live up to this kind of thing like it might not live up to what he wants either like i think in theory it sounds great and like he'd be into it but like let's figure out in practice if this is something we're both into and we both like yeah but yeah he's into it yeah i'm excited for you me too i don't know i mean maybe there are i know actually i think i do know some some people who don't like dirty talk but i most people i know are once you're in a relationship for a long time you're like but you you see me with like my

fucking face mask on i haven't worn makeup in a month like i need you to tell me that like i'm a nasty little slut when i've just been sitting here watching food network like i know it's a lot but i need you to i don't particularly like it's not something that like i would request yeah but like if it happens i think it's hot so it's not it's not something that's like top of my list i prefer like a good ass smacking but um yeah oh yeah but it's it's still i think it's hot yeah and it I think it's the I think the sexiest is when like the person that you're into is into like when you're both really into it and verbalizing that can be like such a great way and also that might also be like what your husband wants he just wants to know that like you're

really into it and like it doesn't have to be so complicated for like making up scenarios or saying stuff it can literally just be like i love it when you do this or like do this to me or do you want me to do this to you like do you like that like that's it can be really like yeah that's why that's why that's what i was saying it could be just like describing what's going on or he wants just the nasty stuff that's why you should ask him because you don't want to come in there like guns blazing he's like whoa she's like come on my ass with your big cock

call me a dirty slut smack me with that dick in your face oh my god smack that cock across my face and he's like what the fuck I just wanted you to just say like I like your big I like it when you put

your dick in me she's out here like oh shit I'm sorry i will too hard yeah build up to it build up to it and then also if you really don't want to do it just like be really bad at it and then he's like yeah that's true she's like put your penis in my pee pee just like what you do to your kids like give that kind of an idea mommy's vagina would love a pee pee give me that pee pee daddy and he's like he's like now i'm good or he's like oh yeah

oh i die well let us know how it goes um i hope you have a great time i hope he has a great time but more importantly i hope you have a great time because you're the one who called in yeah it's time for an update and this is who's it from um i'm just gonna say this if you uh have not seen our june 1st episode go watch that it's the title of the episode um i don't think that i can fully describe what happened so just go listen yeah yeah um and for people that did listen i'll just say coma i might pee myself okay i'm ready hi i am calling in with an update um i'm the girl who husband thought that he had killed a girl um but he was actually in a coma um i didn't give all the

details in the beginning because i was scared that my me being anonymous like it i was scared somebody that knew the story would listen to it and know that it was me um so that's the reason I give all the details. I do know all of the details. It basically was, he was drunk and he was driving. They crashed. We'll give the girl her name. Let's call her Sheila. He thought that he had killed Sheila. Well, nobody ever told him that it was, he was wrong. He never really talked to the family about it because he just believed this. Meanwhile, he stayed close with the family he just thought they were just trying to brush it off trying to just not remember um i don't know um but sheila never actually existed it was actually

what he thought sheila's twin sister um mackenzie mackenzie was actually the girl he was dating he thought it was sheila sheila doesn't actually exist so he's been talking to mackenzie this entire time thinking that that was the twin sister um so whenever he found out this wasn't real it obviously like messed with his head a lot and he basically broke down and we talked about it and it messed with me a lot um obviously i think that would mess with anybody and um whenever he first told me all this I also questioned it like you guys are like I was like that's weird there's no like news story there's there's nothing about it but I obviously like why would somebody say that they killed somebody as a lie I was like okay whatever so I brushed it off then I find out that

Mackenzie is who she is who she is um I kind of overstepped my I don't I at the time thought I was overstepping my boundaries, I now realized that, like, it's what I needed to do. I messaged her and asked her, I was like, hey, I know you don't know me, but this is who I am. And I just want to know if you still have feelings for my husband. And she's like, absolutely not. We broke up. And I see him as an older brother now. And I was like, okay, that really a lot of the stress for me that really a lot of the stress for my husband because he even though he didn't want to leave me he was absolutely terrified because he knows how strong love can be um I hope that answers all of your questions I know this is a crazy ass story

no it doesn't answer okay so did okay I know that if you're in a coma you have there's a lot of things like reality and versus like the dream state that you're in a lot of things get blurred and messed up and like you don't know what's real or what's not so i'll give him the benefit of the doubt there but mckenzie wasn't going by sheila when they were together so how did he not know they were the same person and how if he was close with the family how did nobody correct him because like he he would have been thinking that he literally got away with murder yeah and so then he then has gotten away with murder in his mind and is still close and in contact with the girl's

family whom he murdered and then still talking to who he thinks is the twin sister of the girl that again he thinks he murdered and he's not saying any of that and he's thinking that he got away with it and they have the same like was she lying about her name before like how how are the names not the same just i still have so many questions also like they if if he was in this coma when they got in a car crash they never really broke up unless she would have they she would have had to go to him later and say we broke like i don't want to be with you which means that he would have known it wasn't the twin oh yeah or they broke up before and he just they broke up before the accident but he doesn't remember that but also the fact that you texted her and asked her if he

had feelings if she had feelings for him and he was like oh relieved because she doesn't yeah she did the way you talked about it hurt with her it doesn't necessarily sound like she was even in contact with him yeah it was like no i'm in a relationship like not into like this and i'm just gonna say it and like i don't know how fucking big of a town that you are in but the fact that there are no like news article have you looked at any like because if like have you seen medical like wreck have you seen like any proof that this was a real thing that happened because this is just not like there are so many holes that like this just think I'm just thinking that maybe you met your boyfriend after the accident and maybe this was something that was happening

before the accident or maybe like he has a lot of uh um oh my god what's it called um some like trauma-induced like psychosis or something like that that happened you could also be brain injury too because of the accident and the coma there's there's a lot of stuff here that like isn't the story yeah itself it is like his perception of like reality and regardless of these people like exist or not and you can message them i think that you need to have i think i mean a he should be going to therapy in general but i think you need to have a sick a sit-down conversation with him this girl her family and his family and find out because right now you're hearing everything through him. And then when you're seeking out information on your

own, you're, you're not, you're not all on the same page. And I think you guys need to all have a whole conversation about it because if, if there are some stuff that is like not like, if this is like, there's a 1% chance that everything that is happening and there's like a reason for it and it all is like, it's like a fucking web of lies and it's fucking insane. There's a 1% chance that's happening. But if all of these people in his life care about him, you included, there's a 99% chance that there's something else going on with him and that if you guys all sit there together and you can talk about it and you can all get on the same page because i'm sure all of you have different realities and all of you believe like know and think different things if you guys can get all

out on the table there i think you can also get him some much needed help because like not that i i mean i just watched a criminal minds episode of this guy who had he's got uh trauma induced like ptsd which led to um led to him it led to him having like a psychotic break and like going into a state of psychosis and not knowing what he was like doing or saying or anything like that and it happens like that's not just a tv show thing it like truly is a thing that happens and it's in i would assume from everything that i've like read and seen about that it's incredibly scary for the person that it's happening to because like there is no distinction between their like the real their real reality and their other reality in their head and I think you've

been let into a portion of this and I think you and the rest of the people in his life and the people who are like in this story need to be let into the full knowledge of it because that's the only way that you can either move past this or just get him help in through all of this because this is like and like there should be at least some record of it and like it doesn't mean it doesn't make sense that he would then be calling because maybe maybe the whole thing is maybe he hasn't been talking to her maybe he's been think maybe he thought he's been talking to her it's been in his head and that he thought that she died and so this whole narrative that like the first call we were like how are you talking to this girl maybe he's not actually talking to her

maybe it's like it's all been in his head and that's also the reason why when you reached out to her she was like yeah no we like broke up i don't have feelings for him but i don't think that this is done at all because there's still even if you know the answers to these questions i think i don't want to say you can't trust him but like the stuff that's going on and the things that he's saying are literally explicitly coming from the fact that he was in like a coma and having a hard time distinguishing between like reality and like what wasn't real and so you need i don't think you can necessarily trust just his word on this and i think you need to have that conversation with everybody else involved and then get some help from there and maybe if it's

even if it's like a even if it's just like a casual you all go to someone's house and talk about it and then from there like seek professional help it doesn't have to be or maybe you know you guys know like a trauma counselor someone who could come in and like facilitate a conversation but this is like a lot yeah it's a lot to deal with it's a lot get your tickets now for the dog stars it's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear a therapist kill or be killed jacob allordy there are people out there they need our help josh brolin shoot first and inquire afterwards margaret qualley okay tough guy and guy piers arm up the dog stars directed by ridley scott in theaters friday get tickets now

to take in it's a lot to even believe so uh if you have all the answers great but we could only go off what you told us yeah and also nobody knew also wait if she was afraid that someone was gonna know but there's like no proof in like the paper or something and like it's not the only people who would then know are like him and the family sheila and mackenzie sheila mackenzie is sheila mackenzie's sheila mackenzie and that's it so and her family because he still talks to them right yeah but if those if those are only kids like who else is listening to this podcast like yeah i yeah i yeah and no one commented and said they knew everybody was like what the fuck um maybe we just need to do an episode where we call her yeah but i mean first

and foremost have this sit down conversation with everybody because it's not there's something else here yeah it doesn't all doesn't all add up there's no way you guys all have the same story too and then if you all like sit together and like break it down that it like is there's like such a slim chance you mean like that everything went exactly like everything happened in this like small chance of a way that ended up to where you guys are like that's just so so so so weird and also then everybody would have to be dealing with something like a little fucking wild yeah good good good good good good good god this is this is like this is like a heart i feel like i'm on season four and i'm like i missed all the other seasons like i don't know like i'm so fucking

confused like what do you mean and season four is usually when stuff starts getting like confusing because they gotta start thinking of new storylines it's like the last season of lost where i'm like what's happening like i'm what how did we fucking end up here good god um well give us a call back and maybe this be this should be the first person we actually just call i know maybe we should just call you yeah you put us on the speakerphone and we facilitate the conversation oh yeah everybody yeah you have a uh what's it called a red table talk yeah we have a red table talk that's not what i was thinking of but we will go with that i wish you would submit people for red table talk yeah like i wish i could be like jada

which is essentially jerry springer but like nice person because everybody on jerry springer was submitted that's true oh my god i love it i'm here for it wow guys well that's it for our episode i hope you enjoyed if you want to give us a call uh leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com our facebook group is still currently closed for new members so just you mean you can apply but i think what we're going to do when we have like when we started all over again we're going to delete all of the requests and then we've got new questions yeah so there's really no point to apply right now um but yeah it will be open again soon follow us on instagram we hit 10k baby

so excited swipe up links are happening uh don't blah mean pod and you can follow us on our individual socials my book is out oh do you want to source some questions for your new podcast yes please so um i have a new podcast she's cheating on us everybody it's okay she's not i mean technically you're cheating on grace with me yeah you're cheating on me with candace and kayla yeah now you're cheating on candace and kayla with this well actually i think i'm cheating on candace and kayla with lily and jocelyn oh true true the whole moral of the story is grace grace is the one cheated on by everybody yeah yeah and i'm just a big slut yeah oh i'm a big aquarius slut but i own it true and everybody knows uh so yeah i have a new podcast called coming out called

never sleep alone um i've i've talked about this lady's book in our facebook group dr alex schiller because it's fucking hilarious she calls herself a socio-sexual therapist she's so funny um and so we're we've we're doing like more of like a round table discussion for uh sex and it's all sex related questions. Megan's going to be on an episode. So, um, if you've got anything pertaining that you're, uh, that you question or just have experience with like anal cuck holding orgasms, any really anything sexual DM me and I'll send you the number because I don't know it off the top of my head right now, but I'll send you the number and anything sexual, like things that we wouldn't talk about because we have no experience and also like there's going to be experts on the

show as well so they're gonna like give like their expert opinion plus then like people that have other experience with it so it's just going to be a good time so please dm me i'll give you the number or you can email nsapod at gmail.com never sleep alone pod yeah yeah love it i'm all about it i'm very excited excited to be on excited to listen yeah um it's titillating juicy word titillating uh anything else that we no no i feel like no no hope you guys are doing well um and uh we'll see you guys next time goodbye don't blame me as a production by me executive produced by melissa demonts

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