Don't Blame Me! - S7E21: I Liked Doing It in the Car

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

This week we're sharing advice on:    Update: nannying for free Roommate talking behind your back Boyfriend's bitchy sister Splitting costs with a partner Don't Blame Them: marriage at 20   Call Transcriptions   Follow Us! @meghanrienks  www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa  www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @by.meghan.and.melisa   https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa     Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME.”     Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme   Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody hello everyone we sound like a creaking door it does not sound like we're djing scratching what if i beatbox hi everyone welcome to don't blame me you're not even gonna answer me what'd you say i said what if i beatbox for like a living or as a hobby no never mind right now so then you could do your whatever you're doing yeah you want to hear it box you want to hear it i don't know kind of go that wasn't bad it was not bad i mean i i wouldn't say that i thought it was an instrument but like hey it's not bad yeah you know a multitude of skills so many hidden talents

um hello everybody welcome to don't blame me weird advice podcast i'm megan i'm joined by my co-host melissa hello in case you thought this was a hip-hop podcast surprisingly to a shock to everyone it's been seven seasons and we finally have to admit to you we're actually not a hip-hop podcast it's come as a shock it's a shock to everybody but i think we'll get through this together i was talking to the new people oh yeah yeah yeah because they're flocking flocking flocking hi what am i saying um this is you just said it was an advice podcast yes tell them the number how to do it all that shit so you call in you leave us voicemails and then we give some fantastic amazing advice our advice uh is perfect and wonderful and flawless because we have so many

credentials which is actually a lie but what we lack in credentials we make up for in opinions it's tough love it's how we talk to each other and our other friends it's you know we give advice and the advice we would want to receive so you want to be on an upcoming episode you can give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com we ask that you let us know your pronouns make sure you are 18 or over or have your parents permission write it down practice make sure you have all of those important details in there and um read it practice over and over because you got to keep it under three minutes otherwise you will be cut off and you don't want to be cut off and tell us

your ages i don't always need to know that you're in you're a taurus but i do need to know ages are very very very very very very very very important because what we tell some what we tell someone in high school it's going to be something different than we tell somebody in their like late 20s yeah numbers in general are important it's like same advice like if we're giving advice from someone who's been in a relationship for like five years versus like a week and a half is that a relationship that would be our first question i'm gonna say no you know uh young love young love what have you been up to megan not sleeping and we watching every single marvel movie in order where are you now we are uh we started ant-man last night did you watch

Captain Marvel first? Where'd you put it? So we put Mott's accidentally skipped Captain Marvel because he knows I don't really like Captain Marvel.

So he accidentally skipped it. So we did Iron Man before Captain Marvel. But we then went back and watched Captain Marvel. I have high hopes for the second one. The thing that pisses me off

more than anything is that they dangled true love and romance in front of our faces. And then they never gave it to us. And I remember sitting

in the theater afterwards being like, what like i like i felt like i was blue balled i was so pissed i'm calling it their daughter because that's how i see it isn't their daughter in like the what's she in the town wandavision wandavision okay she's stunning too it was so like clear too like i was i when when the movie ended i was i i wasn't even like i was not even necessarily angry i was just like they what i was so fucking confused and the person i was with i was like what and she's like oh yeah no there i mean i don't i was like they're in love what what the fuck and i was just fucking pissed but what

i'm remembering now re-watching all of them months i did funny enough this time last year the very beginning of quarantine we re-watched all of them again but we did it oh we've done this already yeah we did it in order of um release release date and then we skipped a couple that like we just didn't really we skipped a couple and then we fell asleep for like good chunks of them so um we have a whole new appreciation i like it better in chronological order than i do of um release i like it a lot better this way but it's reminding me that like the thors prior to ragnarok are just like not that great and nothing pisses me off more than the fucking what's her name natasha romanoff whatever her suit i forget what her um uh black black widow

the black widow fucking bruce banner shit nothing pisses me off more than that relationship that just like appears and like makes no sense um did you watch like the no okay that was my other question no we did not start with those ones are just not yeah i mean they are because what they talk about things that happen in that movie so it's like partially in it but it's like also not in it so it's not like crucial to yeah like anything really in it do you mean like it's like the same thing it's like shield or whatever if you wanted to watch it like it it ties into the same universe but it's nothing that like adds anything um and i'm just remembering how much uh i'm just really looking forward to when we get into um the spider-mans because

spider-man is my favorite how you feel about spider-man i just love it i am sad that it doesn't work with um the andrew garfield ones because i love those ones but it's all getting tied in later though isn't it like the one that they're filming now aren't they tying him in yeah no so tom holland the one that one's tied in the new one they're like doing one where they're bringing all the other ones back in like what they're recording now oh really i think so because they're all like they're all have been announced that they're going to be in the movie oh yeah that's going to be interesting because the only reason why they weren't is because of the fox deal but now fox is like like x-men's coming over and deadpool is actually my favorite of all

of them i think that makes sense for me but yeah he's gonna start getting kind of woven into that's interesting yeah i have to look that up i'm excited so that's been what's been occupying me and that's what we've been doing which is nice it's like it feels like a very because we didn't even realize that we're like wow this has been like exactly a year since we kind of did this and i was like maybe subconsciously we're doing it because like this will end but i want to do that i just haven't had the capacity to do it but i do want to watch all of them in chronological order and people keep dming me and asking me uh how we're doing in chronological order it's just disney plus has them all in chronological order like

sorted in a list the only thing that you have to be you you have to factor in um spider-man and spider-man's not there there's also just lists that you can just google yeah yeah but if you want one that's like super seamless disney plus you just have to put spider-man there in there on your own oh it's not fox it's sony my bad right no yeah what about you what's new with you um shireen and i finished rewriting one of our not fuck boy but um another one um two secrets and I'm very excited because I think we went in a great direction. You're still forcing it. Thank God.

Yeah, I'll send it to you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. I want to read it. Yeah, that's what's new. That's about it. That's where we're at. Let's get into the update.

Okay, so this is, we have an update from a caller who has called in previously and is now going to give us an update. Thank you for the explanation of what the update is. You're welcome. You're welcome. I was the caller from season six, episode 22, about my sister not paying me to watch my nephew. And maybe I'm like really frustrated with that

and trying to like figure out a way to like confront her about it, basically. it was really weird because she wouldn't be like home for like most of the day and it would be me and my nephew from like 7 a.m till whenever i left for like my actual full-time job what was she doing for the most part i know she was like trying to get a job and then also running whatever whatever errands she needed to do um don't necessarily know why it was all day and I don't care to ask at this point it is what it is but about a week or so before Thanksgiving she accepted a job offer for a really decent company in town so I was really excited about that um kind of hoping that she'd

slowly like start paying me again on her own without me having to bring it up at all that did not happen I had to wait probably about two three weeks maybe after she got her job to finally sit down with her and bring it up and I told her how upset I was about not being paid like I love hanging out with my nephew he's the light of my life but not getting paid to take care of somebody when my actual job I take care of the elderly so it's like I still would like to get paid you know and so we sat down we talked about it she told me that she like understood where I was coming from because prior to this new job before she had quit her old job she was also a CNA so she understood like what it was like to

like care for somebody else who's not in your family so she understood where I was coming from there and we ended up on an agreement where over the next like a couple months she would slowly start paying me like a set amount that we had figured out that was decent and then her stepson said he wanted to start watching his brother since he was home and he wanted to make a little extra cash and he had nothing to do all day pretty much so he started watching him I still watch him a little bit but I do get compensated for it but I think now my nephew is in daycare because I think his brother ended up going back to school but yeah it was it was really nerve-wracking just trying to get the guts to sit down with her just because she's probably one of like my best friends

so just talking like any type of confrontation yeah i was not like comfortable with but it actually ended up going really smoothly and yeah great yeah that's so good to hear so you didn't take our advice about blasting bitch better have my money the next time you drove up to her house no i did think about it i really did i was like that would be funny but i don't think her neighbors would have appreciated it at like 6 30 in the morning yes yes yes yes yes so that makes that makes a lot of a lot of sense thank you so much yeah thank you that's the update if you have an update um and you've called it from previous episode we would love to hear from you so please send us an email that's the fastest way to get to us for the updates and we promise that we're nice

so even if we like you know unless you ask us not to be oh yeah if you ask for tough love we'll give you tough love but i'll play a little trick on somebody not just you um you're playing a trick i somebody was calling in and i was trying to figure out where the noise was coming from because i didn't realize they had the window open for the podcast and then i answered it while they were calling and they're like what wait that's so funny i didn't even know i forgot we could technically answer it that must have thrown them off so much they're like huh hello what's going on i was like this is melissa i'm just messing with you i'll hang up and you can call back gonna leave the voicemail that's so funny oh my god wow uh um so should we get into the rest of

our episode sure get these calls hey megan and melissa i hope everything is going well i'm a 21 year old virgo living on the west coast with my 21 year old aries roommate so i'm just gonna preface by saying that my roommate came to me about a week ago saying she needed to move back to her dad to save money, which I totally understood. So I started apartment hunting and actually found a place and got approved, which is down where I used to live. I told her I'd be moving mid-April, but that I'd still pay April's rent so that she has time to move. Anyways, I had asked to borrow her computer to apply to apartments and job search because I don't have my own computer, and she said that was fine, so she knew the reason why I was using her

computer she has a mac so her text messages are hooked up to her laptop and while I was applying for places and going back and forth with my new landlord text messages started to pop up to her boyfriend about how she was quote-unquote so fucking happy to finally have me out of her life and that it was fucked up that I was moving out so soon her boyfriend was calling me a bitch and other names and honestly I'm just super confused and hurt over the whole situation since there were really no problems between us while living together. We always had a great time together, always hung out while home. We were co-workers, and I actually was the one who hired her.

I guess I'm just calling for advice because I genuinely thought she was my friend, and I don't know how to go about the situation. Am I overreacting? I still kind of want to be friends with her, and we always talked about how we'd still be friends after living together. But anyways, thanks for taking my call, and I hope both of you are doing great. it was super short and sweet but i hope you guys can give me some good advice on how to go about this situation because i'm feeling very hurt over it thanks guys uh you said that you

still wanted to be friends with her after all this you were never friends to begin with no you need higher standards for friends she i mean you it was like uh uh like she was just getting things from you like she got a job from you she uh she's mad that you're moving out so soon even though that's what she wanted yeah be done with this girl like she like Megan said have higher standards for your friendship yeah I mean you're not overreacting at all I I want like I'm curious if she was at work when you were using her computer or something because like that's like you know that that happens when like someone like you're on a computer you have iMessage hooked up and like you see them so like was she not there and she didn't think it through or is like

she home and it's like I know this bitch is gonna see it like that yeah I'm curious about that but I mean like you've got two options here either you I mean you've lots of options you can just like ignore it and just pretend you never saw it and just not move on with your friendship but just be like okay this person's a fucking bitch and like we're not friends and she doesn't like me and like i mean here's the two things i would either do i would either be super fucking passive aggressive and just be like okay i'll be a bigger bitch than you then like i already like i my shit's fine like i don't you don't have any ties to her like as long as like you have it in right i would get it in writing first that like you're moving out in april like you're paying for the

month of april and like blah blah so there's no you don't have any contracts left between you two but what i would really do is i would just confront her and i would be like what like hey i saw these like what the fuck is your deal like see i would just ignore all of it and just wipe my hands clean of her when i left and just be done with it but some people you know want closure i'm not that type of person yeah but i mean i want like if you don't want to talk to her about this that your reasoning behind it should be like i don't want to talk to her i just want to move on and forget but if your reasoning is like i don't want to talk to her about this because like i don't want to hear what she has to say because like i want to maintain a

friendship then no like you like you don't need to be friends with her no she has no respect for you also you're still gonna have to see her at work though hold on no because she's looking for dropped oh yeah right right i just oh there's nothing i hate more than someone who doesn't have the fucking like doesn't have the guts to be a bitch to someone's face like if you're gonna be a bitch behind my back you better be a fucking bitch to my face and like i stand by that i do like if i'm gonna talk because if not you're just a fake ass bitch yeah like fuck you if you want to be a bitch be a fucking bitch but then like that but like own it don't have this like wishy-washy like oh i'm only gonna be a bitch behind your back when like i only have people who are hyping

me up but like if you don't have the confidence to be a bitch to someone who like is then potentially gonna fight back or say something back or disagree with you like you're you're just a fucking loser like you're just such a like it's just so lame and just i hate that i hate it just stand by it we can all be a little cunty we can all be like whatever any of that but like if you're gonna say something behind someone's back and just say completely something completely different to their face like i have zero respect for you like you're not even a good bitch yep you suck at being a fake bitch exactly be a real ass bitch not a fake ass bitch moral of the story moral of the fucking story and for everybody else don't say something that you wouldn't say to someone's face

that doesn't mean you can't say mean shit but would you say that mean shit to their face I would if I'm talking to you like I'll say it to your fucking face and most likely I already have yep on to the next hi Megan and Melissa I'm calling about my boyfriend who is 22 Aquarius his sister who is a 27 year old Aquarius and me who is a 22 year old Capricorn so I started dating my boyfriend um this was two years ago um I started dating him and I met his sister she moved home for a few months after she got in the breakup and was low on money um she was okay at first but I had a bad first impression she just came off as very arrogant and standoffish because they were really close I didn't want to say anything to him because I could tell it would be a problem

because she kind of seemed to be on a pedestal in their family between him and his mom She moved back to where she was at, and she was very arrogant about living in this place because she felt like it was better than where we're from. She came home to visit and was extremely rude and arrogant and talked down to all of us and said that we didn't talk how they do there, and she told me to shut up at one point, and then she bragged to me about going on dates with rich guys and going out and doing cocaine for free. Her mom even told her that she was being rude and told her to stop. I told my boyfriend what she was telling me about these guys doing drugs, and he told

his mom, and they both confronted her. She told them that her life was amazing there and that she didn't care and she would do what she wanted to do, and she's been doing it since she was 18. Once she realized this excuse wasn't going to work on her mom, she said that she was really depressed and that she was having trouble with her life, which I thought was ironic after she just told me that her life was amazing, which I know people lie about. but then her mom started making up excuses for her and saying that it was just because she was missing them so she always gets excuses given to her I can't get over this situation

what happened because I hold grudges and she hasn't owned up to her own mistakes and she's always super bitchy towards me and I feel like my boyfriend and his mother just put her be like brush her behavior to the side and let her get away with it and see no wrong and I understand that she's an adult but I also don't think she has the right to be rude. I feel like I'm kind of being dramatic about it. It causes problems in me and my boyfriend's relationship because we argue about how she acts and it's hard because I do want to be friends with her but whenever I feel like I try and reach out I don't feel like that gets reciprocated. So if you guys have any advice on how to move past this or how to handle the situation let me know but I don't really want

to confront her because their family doesn't really do confrontation and i feel like it would just make it really awkward and hostile thank you i'm gonna love with you i think you care way too much like you when you kind of give these parameters about like what you're not going to do and like all of that kind of stuff like you you your expectations are never going to be that like you don't want to be confrontational you don't think that will work okay but you also want to be friends with her i'm gonna love with you that's not going to work you want her to take accountability she's not gonna do that like you can't control her at all and so like you either need to be okay with the situation at hand or you and him need to break up so she's not in your life

anymore like you can't conditionally like pick and find a way that if if she was just like this or she did this i would like it would be fine and all of that because you have no control over that so it sucks that it's just kind of one of those things that it's like if if you don't like her and you don't like the situation the only thing you can change is the situation right this is a different type of bitch here this is a mean ass bitch yeah i mean she's um yeah she's not gonna change she's if she's not gonna change for her mother or her brother she's not gonna change for you who could be you know temporary to the situation so you either like megan said you have to accept i think this is pretty cut and dry you just have

to accept her for who she is and you can't argue with your boyfriend about it because that's his sister and you're not going to do anything to change his mind um and either leave or just deal with it yeah and like i think we can like look at people in situations and again like see what we like the best possible like oh all of this like she just might not ever be that person like it you don't necessarily like need to fix her or like need her to be like a certain way or all of that and like the right like her friend yeah and like his mom is like okay with it her like your boyfriend is okay with it and all of that like they're okay and they accept her for who she is and you don't and that's yeah that's that's on you and like she was rude to you like that sucks

yeah and if you feel like your boyfriend doesn't like support you and like stick up for you and all of that like that sucks but that's also a character flaw on him like like none of that is your responsibility also he's not she's not just rude to to her the caller though she's rude to everyone that's just who she is and like some people are like some people are like that and it can suck when like it's not your family and so like you will kind of want a comrade in that to be like oh my god she fucking sucks and like but they they can also think she sucks but like in a familial way that they deal with it because that's who she is that's who she is yeah yeah and you either have to accept it because that's who she is or or not and yeah i don't think you're

overreacting or anything i just think that like you care way too much you're trying to change who she is and you're i think probably what's driving you more crazy is you care so much and and i don't mean this in a mean way she doesn't give a shit like you're caring so much about her and like investing all of this and she's not giving two shits which is even more frustrating but if you can't just like let her be and like let her do her and just be fine with it then you need to be done with this relationship because you're the odd one out yeah sorry yeah it sucks but she sounds a little wild she sounds like somebody that i would like to just like hang out with for the stories but never actually go anywhere with her

she sounds like i could i i know this type also like that she just lives loves her life doing cocaine for free and i'm like i was like oh so people do it for i was about to be like no i know i was that's my i was even thinking of i'm like who i i've never done coke but i'm like i've done i've like done other drugs but i'm just like i'm sorry i don't think i've ever paid for drugs in my life like that's like the one great thing about the patriarchy like what like what do you mean like we're doing it for free that's not a flex dude the fact that she's sharing it with people is hilarious to me yeah but i know that person i that's when i first moved to la i'd never like seen coke before but i would be out with like a friend that i knew from work and then her

friends were like coke heads and we'd be out and they'd just be like walking around just asking people if they had coke and i was just like oh this is this is how things are done here okay cool we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back i remember what i was gonna say earlier oh what were you gonna say well i have a pro tip for people that live by themselves and they're tired of cooking i take out well yes but i was doing like my meal delivery service and then they fucked up my whole entire order for this week and i was pissed like they sent me five breakfasts and three of which i did not order and then nothing else like i was supposed to have 15 other meals and nothing else and it was supposed to come on sunday

and then they like pushed it it's coming on monday and then monday i got that shitty thing so then and it's not the one that was in the cute glass jars yeah i would never think that no they would never they would never so then i was just like pissed because i was hungry and i was like you know what i ordered family meals like from tender greens two family meals that had like four and they separated all out so it had like four big pieces of meat even the steaks were huge i got chicken and steak um got and then uh and then you can pick and choose like what vegetables and size that you want so then like i've had different mixes of the sides every week it's brilliant and it's less than what it would have been with the meal delivery because it like

equals out to like nine dollars per meal that's genius yes should we get into the rest of the episode why not hi megan and melissa i'm a 23 year old aries and an enneagram 9.1 and i'm calling for some sex advice today my boyfriend is a 23 year old we brought in an enneagram three and we've been dating for about seven months first off he's my first everything my first boyfriend first kiss first time having sex first basically everything um and we've had we have great sex so that's not the issue i mean i guess i have nothing to compare it to but i always i have a great time no matter what um but I need advice on two things at the beginning of our relationship we both still lived at our parents houses so it was difficult to have sex and be alone so we would often drive

to an empty parking lot late at night or have car sex at first it was hard but we got the hang of it and we both always were able to finish and it was great well now recently he just bought a house which is great and I'm so happy for him um and I've been clicking over there a lot and we have sex almost every night or morning and the sex is great don't get me wrong but I think I just got so used to car sex that I'm not as turned on when we do it in the bedroom I don't know if it's something about the quote-unquote danger of being caught having car sex that really turned me on and I obviously don't want to go back to having car sex now that we have an actual place to have sex because the car was usually very cramped and it could be uncomfortable at times

um so just any advice on how I could be more turned on in the bedroom would be great how what can I do there um and then the second issue that I'm having is that I know that my boyfriend really really wants me to suck his dick um but obviously I don't have much experience and the thought of it makes me very uncomfortable um I also have a really bad gag reflex and I'm terrified of gagging or even throwing up and I've tried going down on him a few times but I always start gagging and have to stop. It's not only how far it goes back down my throat but also the flavor I guess you could say bothers me and the idea of having cum in my mouth. He's a very hygienic person and he showers like one or two times a day sometimes so that's not the issue

and he goes down on me all the time so I would love it if I could return the favor but it's very hard for me I also want to say that he never pressures me or makes me feel bad but he'll ask if I want a 69 or go down on him and I always say no and he just looks

really defeated I asked him if it bothered him once and he said no it just makes him a little self conscious so any advice too on that would be great thank you so much love you guys and the podcast while this is fresh on my mind just gonna say um asking for a blow job and then looking

disappointed is manipulative that's not like not pressuring you like that's that that in itself that's not i if moth ever was like hey would you suck my dick i'd be like like it's something that you i mean some people do like a little you know assertiveness but like if you're already if that's something you're you're not comfortable doing this and then just asking you and then looking disappointed like this is something that should be 100 on your terms yeah not any any sort of even request from him let's just address the second part just to start because we already started on this i'm i'm wondering like is the uh taste and flavor is that have you ever sucked his dick before is

this something that you tried she said okay but yeah i think i didn't know if her trying was like she just like you know like kind of put it in her mouth and then is the taste or whatever is that like what you're expecting or is it something you actually tasted well she said that she's tried a couple times and she just ends up gagging and i think that like it doesn't sound like it's a cleanliness issue i it sounds like it sicks you out and like even if it's there's like no matter how clean a dick tastes like it's not necessarily like licking an elbow it's not appetizing no no and it's also like the skin they can't lick the elbow or like your arm or whatever like there's like lots of folds of skin there's like lots of wrinkly things like top some parts are very smooth

like it isn't necessarily like it's not like oh it's just like this like it is odd and if it grosses you out and like it makes you like gag to the point like mix yeah like yeah i just don't it should be something that you enjoy doing if you don't enjoy doing it then don't do it no and this isn't like if you have a bad gag reflex and it grosses you out like that's not an origin story of like the blowjob heroin like this like does he want you to throw up on his dick because that's what it sounds like it's going for and yeah and just that's not like you said like that's not going to make for like the rate like we've said before like love giving head because like we're good at it and like that that part of it but like if in getting great at it and all of that like i

didn't have to overcome a really sensitive gag reflex like at all like there are some just like you know biological things that you either have working in your favor or you don't and like working through that is just not like there are those like little tips where they say like oh you hold your hand and fist and like hold your thumb and like squeeze that which like that can help but that's not that's like your deep throat and like and you what i mean like that's like a oh this is like a party trick for this moment but it's not like i don't need like that's not going to like get rid of your gag reflex at all and I just think that like beyond your gag reflex it's something that sticks you out and like you're not like just the

idea of it too just like makes you really uncomfortable and that's okay and blowjobs just like aren't for you and like that's fine and like maybe a couple years down the road you'll be like you know what I want I'm not so sicked out by this like I want to try this again or you might not ever be and like you just like it's okay to not do that and just because he goes down on you like does not mean that you have to go down no and if it's a deal breaker for him then like that needs to be respected by both parties and like if he then withholds going down on you because you're not going to go down on him if you're not getting like you know what i mean it's like okay if you're not comfortable going down on me then dude like okay then cool then

that's where we'll both do that but it has to be a conversation it can't be just this tit for tat sort of thing and yeah also if you wanted to 60 if you if you wanted to 69 you could do like hand stuff with him it didn't have to be mouth yeah you get some like lube and get it like real wet yeah yeah i don't know like you might be into just like licking that could be something there's other things you can play with this balls like there's other things that can be done if that's what you're you want to do yeah but you don't have to at all get a pocket pussy but um so the second part was like sex drive up from not having sex in the car i've never heard this makes sense to me

like it does make sense like it's exciting i was like what like because first of all you're running away because you want to have sex so you're like leaving where you are to go have sex so like there's already a build-up for it when once you get there you're like i gotta be you know sneaky a little you know windows might fog up there's excitement around that i would say go do it in the backyard yours makes so much more sense than mine my advice i'm like just film yourself like that too like there's other things that you can like there's things that can heighten the excitement i like the i like that too yeah and then who's like you could go in the car sometimes or like if you've got like i mean obviously don't turn your car on if you're a garage

you don't want carbon monoxide yeah but yeah if you've got a garage have sex in the car there or like i think exactly like you're saying like there's like it's simultaneously like spontaneous yet also a ton of build-up to it because like it's like hot and passionate and like that normally is used with like spontaneous sex that it's like oh my god all of these things really fast but like it is kind of sorry it is kind of like planned but in like oh this is our this is our opportune moment like we only have this much time or whatever so having sex like that and taking that kind of mindset to like something else like sending him like a like a like a nude or like a hot picture or whatever and being like i like give that same kind of build up

in other ways maybe have sex in front of like a mirror like have sex in like the living room like something like that like in those kinds of ways or like even like super like have sex in front of a window like that kind of stuff just things that like legally yeah you don't want to like have like in front of a window and like your neighbor's like kid is looking over no no no like you know a small window yeah but have the blinds open but not like like slanted open but not pulled up finding like those kinds of things to like heighten it and make it be like oh we might get caught a little voyeuristic yeah i like it i think it's hot maybe a hand down his pants when you're like i don't know you're driving you're driving not him when you're driving yeah or a

tesla you know like not gonna encourage roadhead or anything like that but hi megan and melissa on today's segment of am i an asshole um i'm a 25 year old aquarius and my boyfriend is 24 turning 25 leo we have been together for five years and last june i wound up moving out of my parents house but on my own um basically after working from home for so long alongside my dad and brother who are also working from home it just kind of expedited my need to get out um I moved 30 minutes from home but only 10 minutes from work because at the time that was just the smartest and cheapest thing to do um in May though my boyfriend and I found a place this upcoming May found a place in the middle of our two jobs and we're super excited to be moving in together however when I moved out

since it was on my own everything I needed furniture wise I paid for myself um you know bed coffee table little appliances towels cookware you name it he's purchased some stuff for me like a tv a nightstand I wanted but the question is anything else that we need for this new apartment I feel like I shouldn't be paying for most of it like I he has um I don't know like you need a new couch, he wants a new TV, things like we need a window AC unit, stuff like that. But because I poured out so much money of my own for my own place to get these things that we need, I feel like anything else we need shouldn't be my expense. I would just love advice as to if this is unfair of me to think. Obviously, I plan on bringing it up to him, but I would just like some third party

opinions before I bring that up to know if it's like unwarranted or anything. Thank you guys so much i love the podcast it's why i look forward to monday so much um and i hope you guys are staying safe thanks so much bye this is interesting do you want my thoughts as someone who's never lived with someone yeah i think when you move in with someone it becomes our place and anything new that you buy should be a shared expense but i have never lived with anyone i mean so this is this is layered as someone who like lives with their partner this is really layered and so if there's something that like he wants to upgrade that you like what you have and he wants to upgrade it that's his i personally think and how much and i've done it like that's

the individual's own expense so if he wants to upgrade the tv that's on him if you have like a queen bed and he wants a king then that's on him yeah but if there are things that like i i completely understand being like oh okay i've covered x amount of money for this the issue is is did you guys have this conversation beforehand of like i'm buying all the stuff for my apartment as i'm moving out now solo which i'm buying it for us so like did he have a say in anything like did he have did he get to contribute to like the look and like the style of like that kind of stuff and if he wasn't involved in the choosing kind of process then you're just bringing your own stuff to your to a place that you shared and it's not it doesn't

it won't feel like if he his stuff do you know what I mean like if he doesn't like it and he like would want something different or anything I think if you didn't have a conversation beforehand about like okay well if I'm buying I'm buying all this stuff for my new apartments like when we move in together like you'll buy the rest of the stuff that like we need for that place I think like if he was like well that doesn't really seem fair to me because like I didn't know that that's what you were doing and if that was the case I wouldn't I wouldn't have wanted to get this couch or to get this kind of coffee table or whatever there is to it especially if there's like stuff from your place that's um you're not necessarily going to use in the new

place if there's like oh this bookshelf won't work here this won't work here something but at the same time like i think like financially like like that does it to come i think it also kind of like makes sense that it's like oh you bought this and you contributed money to like this thing that is like shared and that we're using and that like i like and like it feels just as much mine it is as yours so like i'll pay for this next thing to kind of do that but i don't think it can be a blanket statement i think it has to be like item to item thing to thing like upgrading that should be on him um but if there are certain things that like you bought for your place that you like and he really doesn't like it and like it's something that's like not his style or something that he

didn't feel like involved in the process of that at all i think it's completely fair for him to be like can we split the cost of this because if you're asking him to like factor in your fine like factor you in now when buying kind of stuff you needed to have factored him in before prior when you bought stuff so but yeah i mean i i i get that i think it's i think that's like i think it's valid and like that would be something that you want but it's i don't think it's that simple you know especially depending on how much like things cost and that stuff and also like having like open conversations i think it's great you're going to talk to me about it having open conversations about money when you live with someone is really important. Um, and you need

to be on the same page of what kind of people you are financially, because some couples who live together are really tit for tat. And it's like, Hey, I, I'm, I spent $55 on this. You're going to send $55 on this, like blah, blah, blah. And then some couples, which is Mots and I are the ladder where it's like, you got groceries this time. I'll get groceries next time. Um, take my like ours is like it kind of just we know it will always even out and so that's just how it is or like he got a promotion during the pandemic and like i didn't have as much work at all so it was like i'll cover groceries for the next couple months and then blah blah blah blah so like you have to figure out what kind of people you are with that but yeah also i'm curious what

i mean i get like the ac unit and those kinds of things but I also think like if some of the furniture and things you've bought are like not necessary and not things that he would have spent money on like oh I bought this like coffee table book or I bought this like these decor things to go on these shelves or I bought these like pictures or whatever if there are things that like he wouldn't have spent money on I could understand him getting frustrated that you're not going to spend money on something that you actually both need which is like an ac unit you know where it's like for him he's like i would i would have if i had x amount of money to like contribute to furnishing this place i would not have

spent as much as you did on these other things so it's a tough it's a tough spot but also yeah it just is and it's also i would say if you guys don't if you don't like if he wants to upgrade something or you don't if not even that but if you don't if he doesn't like something that you bought or whatever i would also just like sell it make them make money from that and then use that money you you get the money when you sell something that you owned and use that money to kind of contribute you know yeah but like fine you guys need to have a conversation about finances period before you even well you've already thought about moving together but before you move in together you need to have a conversation about everything financial

it's rough it definitely is rough it's super awkward too it takes a while to feel like comfortable i felt so awkward talking to mox about finance like i felt so so awkward at first i was like and now i'm like you owe me money bitch better have my money better have my money no he doesn't know this episode should always be the theme of the episode there's a lot of bitches in this episode good bitches bad bitches fake bitches crazy bitches we need to reclaim the word bitch i mean i think we have i think the world needs to catch up with us is this don't blame them this is where um a listener calls in and gives their own advice um on a call we played on a previous episode so this is from season 6 episode 17 where the

caller's giving advice on a caller who is getting married and moving in at 20. hi guys i am calling in as a don't blame them for um season 6 episode 17 i think it is um the girl who is 20 years old and is about to get married and move in with her long-distance boyfriend all at the same time um not that I disagree with your advice necessarily but I do have some experience with this um I'm a bit older I'm 27 um but I've also been in a relationship that has mostly been long distance um for you know four or five years and um we experienced what you know you're you're scared of um caller with uh quarantine and lockdown um he his job didn't require him to be in a different state during lockdown.

And I was really scared at first, thinking, oh, my God, we're not going to like each other after this. It's going to be horrible. We're going to fight. And it actually ended up being the best time of our relationship. I will warn you that you're going to have the honeymoon phase at first of, wow, I can't believe I get to see you, you know, wake up to you and all of it's going to seem perfect and you're not going to

want to go anywhere or do anything with anyone else. So my advice is to set yourself a time limit, like a month or six weeks that, you know, you can stay in that honeymoon phase, just the two of you in your little cocoon. But then make it, set a date that both of you have to go out with each of your friends or, you know, hang out with one of your families alone or, you know, start to do things outside of just with each other. It'll help a lot. and just don't be scared of setting boundaries and being honest with your partner

and saying, you know, I'm a little sick of you right now and I don't want to be, so I'm going to go do this or I'm going to take a trip here with this friend. It'll be really, really cool, especially since you've been long distance, to miss each other and to be able to come home to each other at the end of the day. There's really nothing like it after long distance, and just try to enjoy it as much as possible and not take the little fights too seriously because you've been waiting for this

and it's exciting and you love each other. So that's my advice. Thank you. Bye. Thank you for your input. I don't mean that. I sound cunty. I'm not trying to sound cunty.

I just, I have nothing to add. Nothing to add, yeah. Also, like we had talked about because they were, you're like the person that calls is older, but the original caller was like 20 yeah so they hadn't had like a lot of life experience and stuff so yeah i mean i think that's why we always say age because age is that plays a completely different role in the advice that we give and all of that stuff but don't lie about your

and you won't get the advice that you want okay thank you caller for sharing your experience yes thank you and that is it for our episode thank you all so much for watching listening if you listened and you uh were like i don't want to listen to ads go to stitcher premium get ad free and you don't have to listen to ads if you were like oh gosh i wish i could see their facial expressions patreon it's a dollar a month to watch the video version of the podcast you can see this beautiful face melissa's making now you can see how great her hair looks today all of that you can see our pixar light in the background it's a good time you can see absolutely nothing in my background there's a curtain there is a sheer and for five dollars a month we do two

live streams which are literally like zooms us all hanging out it's fun we do themed ones we do unthemed ones it's a great time and it helps us support the show and leave a review on the apple podcast app follow the podcast on instagram don't blah meme pod follow our individual socials listed in the description and if you want to call in to be featured on upcoming episode you can leave us a voice mail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcasts at gmail.com again let us know your pronouns make sure you're 18 or over have your parents permission write it down practice keep it under three minutes with as much detail as possible and if you have an update send us an email we would love to talk to you please

is there anything else what would you like to promote i mean i always say buy my presets buy my book follow me on instagram that's what you always say to me so that's oh wow thank you i have nothing i don't think i have anything else to promote yeah me follow me on instagram that's all i'm promoting right now follow me on instagram this episode is sponsored by melissa's instagram she is not somebody tried to hack in mine yesterday what yep i got the little code they're like and you were like she is not melissa yes she is not melissa i got an email from instagram saying we see you're having trouble getting to your account what reset my password sneaky sneaky well hope you all enjoyed and we will see you next time stay sexy and don't get pregnant unless

you're you want to goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts Edited by Katrina Henning and music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.