Don't Blame Me! - S7E7: Closure w/ Melisa D. Monts

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

This week we're sharing advice on:    Boyfriend lying Exclusive “friends” Update: I'm jealous   Call Transcriptions   Follow Us! @meghanrienks  www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa  www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @dontblamemepod   https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/     Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,' PLUS exclusive bonus episodes.     Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I'll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme   Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me starring me and melissa we're the stars it's our show i hope you're watching the video because she's shaking her titties she's shaking her now she's grooving grooving and shaking oh twerk it twerk it twerk it twerk it um hi guys i'm megan my co-host here is melissa hello my name's melissa dine months she's australian if you didn't know she's been faking an accent for every other episode i have i have good day all the australians are like please shut the fuck up they're like they're like we don't say that we don't say that mate put on the shrimp on the barbie

i just my only like australian accent um like what i would base off base it off of uh i used to say quotes from the show called h2o which was about mermaids it's about water yeah well they couldn't go near the water because then they would turn like how would they take a bath and then they're a mermaid oh it wasn't chloe's cleo cleo cleo what a time well guys this is don't blame me we're an advice podcast in case you couldn't tell from that intro oh i mean i feel like we made it abundantly clear like it was very on brand like very much what we do we give advice and you might be being like why what are your credentials none stop asking questions and shut up and listen i'm just getting more and more aggressive as the episodes are going you know

just a gal in her 20s and a gal in her 30s you know moving through life figuring things out giving advice and then you know you finish it up i was gonna say i like the moving through life when really we're sitting at home and life we're watching life happen and we're we're we're on the sidelines going yeah that's what's happening this year um well yeah it's an advice podcast we want to call in leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and then international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and we ask that you are either 18 or over or you have your parents permission before you call in and you keep that voicemail or that voice memo under three minutes otherwise you'll be cut off so we suggest writing it down

strong strong strong suggestion it's almost a require if we could require it we would yeah but we can't um just because we we don't know we don't know where you we can't just like show up at your door i think we can probably figure it out though well but only after they call true you know i mean so we we do prefer that it's just so much easier for us to give advice and we want to hear everything and so a lot of time people like to um sugarcoat things or really like paint themselves in a better light we're not here to and very rarely are we here to judge you unless you're doing something judgment worthy and then most of the time our judgment comes out of being like hey you can do better come on you can do better so give us the most info don't leave any

any juicy details out and what i mean that's the that's the intro but what's up with you it's new what's new let's kick it what's what's the sitch yeah what's the sitch did you did you did you but i can't do the noise um let's see i'm really making you rack your brain because we were recording two episodes in one day so i just saw her so yeah i have two new podcasts that are coming hell yeah do we get any idea the genre uh queer oh fun yeah do we not do i do i know any of the people who are hosting them or these brand new people to us uh yeah this is more more so where the uh podcast was already packaged and then i was asked to produce them and i will be taking

more of like an oversight produced production role this is the first time that i'm doing that and then katrina and shireen will be producing the shows hell yeah that's exciting yeah boss man bing boss man bing what about you what's new with you what is new with me um we're in colorado still and um do you know how long you're staying no we've we we didn't get an airbnb for the way home yet like we didn't We just did one for the way there. And, you know, we're just, we're playing it by ear. We're lucky that this is like, you know,

a lot of people have asked for staying in Airbnb, which is so flattering. I'm sure to Mott's family, but this is like a family vacation home. But just gonna wait it out because we left before LA had stay at home orders. You left like the day of. No, we left two days before when we got here

was when we got um because my phone still didn't up i got one of those one of those alerts on my phone and i was like oh shit and i was like oh wow this is mayor garcetti why does he talk like that i don't i don't i he tries to be it sounds like he's trying to like sound like like he's just like you know being commanding but it just sounds like he's trying to be sexy yes like it just sounds like he's trying to use me and it's not working yeah i'm just like please stop please stop like actually just stop I'm so uncomfortable and I don't want to listen but I need to listen and then he starts speaking in Spanish too and I'm just like you're just making me even more dry like stop oh my god you make you make Spanish unsexy yeah I mean he's unsexy um but yeah we're

not sure when we're gonna go um obviously not beyond that but I mean I think the last statistic that we read uh la um icu's were at yeah they were full capacity we have the highest rates in the country yeah and i think something that people don't aren't really thinking people are like well no like even if people want to be like make incorrect and like ignorant arguments of like well like people recover from this like if i blah blah like or i'm being safe or whatever but like it's also like we're not going to get on the road and drive because god forbid we got in a car accident like that's our hospital especially in the snow yeah yeah so like we're not gonna go back until it is like but like say why would you come back not just like a dentist appointment and

i was like reschedule and he was like yeah you're right like um he goes to dentist all the fucking time he'll be fine yeah so um yeah and but we don't yeah we don't we don't know but it's like nice i mean the house is it's a very large house there's like a lot of like space for everyone to do everything um and so i mean i'm in no rush there's snow it's beautiful and i have no desire to like add any sort of risk are you getting engaged no everyone when i tell you my dms every day they're like you're getting engaged and i'm like i'm not and like people like well you don't know that i go no no i actually know that because like matz has strict instructions that taylor who's taken so many of our podcast pictures who also took photos for my movie and also took my

book cover photo taylor has to photograph it that is that is the rule it has to happen um and and yeah like we're this is not the time so for this episode we usually start the episode where we have been recently um with a update where we do like a live update and we talk to one of our callers from a previous episode and uh we did that and it's juicy it's very long and we had like a very length conversation um yeah it's not just like an update we also gave advice too we also gave commands we were bossy we gave instructions made her do things while we were on the call so it is very long so instead of putting it at the beginning and like cutting down so much of it we want to keep it for like what it is so we're going to do a couple calls at the start

but then most of this episode is going to be dedicated to this and i think the great thing about that too is like i think this call is so fucking relatable and i think this advice like not to toot our own horns or whatever but like this is advice that like you can take if you're not even her yeah i mean like this is like so this is shit that like i needed to hear when i was like 20 22 so i think you guys will enjoy it and um let's hop into us some calls before we get there hi Megan and Melissa I'm an Aquarius and I'm trying my best to channel my inner Virgo by writing this down first so I hope y'all appreciate that but I'm calling because last night I had an interesting interaction with my boyfriend who is a Scorpio

we were laying in bed watching tv and I look over at my boyfriend and he's on reddit which is a normal thing for him and he's in his messages and I see him click on a message and then click on a profile and then I see it's clearly not like it's a not safe for work profile because I see him clicking on the messages or the posts and then seeing the photos so I asked him what are you looking at and he kind of flinched and was like oh to be honest I was looking at porn and I had no issues with my boyfriend looking at porn like we've watched porn together I understand that he's gonna do that and it just made me realize like I always see him on his phone and he's on reddit and knowing that he has porn come up on his feed.

Like, obviously, I don't know how often it comes up on his feed or not, but it just made me kind of uncomfortable. And so he said to me, like, yeah, it was just on my homepage. And I said, well, no, it wasn't because I saw you were in your messages. And then he just was being super vague about it and then just kind of eventually showed me, like, here, let me show you how he got it. Like, he got a message from someone. It was a mass message where they sent messages to everyone

who had a similar username to him and I was just upset that you know he felt it was his first instinct to lie and say that it was on his home page instead of finally just telling me the truth and so yeah I don't know like the relationship I was in before this was super unhealthy and toxic and we've been together for almost like two years and I feel like we've had a really healthy good relationship so far and I just kind of feel like I have a hair trigger for lying and it was something so stupid to lie about and I just really don't know how to move on with the situation and really what to do so any any help you guys have thanks I hate it yeah yeah like the fact that he got like he was on reddit he got the message he knew i mean he knew he thought he was doing something

wrong because he flinched after it and he got caught um which okay so i tried to like see it maybe he just wasn't he wasn't expecting the message to come and then he looked at it and then he was like he obviously felt like some type of way about it because he was trying to hide it from you um instead of just being truthful it could have been just like he got caught off guard and he didn't know what to do or he's just lying to you all the time and that was just his default to go back on yeah i think that's probably like i'm sure that's probably that's how i would feel it's like when someone can lie when their first instinct is to lie and like so quickly then it becomes like a if this has never been a rate like you didn't sound it didn't say like you

that you've had trust issues in the past because then that makes you question everything you else everything else you thought was truthful because like it didn't raise any red flags at all um yeah i think like i think like people i mean to therapize your boyfriend i mean like people who like hide things or like lie about things usually that's most that stuff stems from like childhood and that kind of stuff like if a therapist like breaks that down like that because like usually where those things kind of come from but I don't think I don't know if you guys have had enough of a conversation about this to kind of like understand it more because like what did he say when you were like well then what's your why is your first instinct to lie like I would want to

know like what's his what's his response to that because like it's you you've been in another a relationship before that was like super shitty but like nothing you've said before has made you has said anything about this relationship or anything like that where he has felt like he would need to hide something especially because you guys like watch porn together and it's like not an issue that like i vote you know it's like kind of one of those things where it feels like i've had friends who like would quote unquote i hate the term like oh i'm a chill girl but like what dudes give that like straight dudes give that like and it's not necessarily like it's not a flattering term it's just like guys oh you're such a chill girl but like i've had friends who

like have been called chill girls by the guys that they've been seeing and then the guys like do something that's like so like on inappropriate or so like disrespectful or something and then they're like well i thought you were like i thought you were chill and it just becomes like a what like because i'm cool with certain things like it becomes this kind of like blanket thing that does just default like deflects and defaults blame um but i mean i'm not super familiar with reddit you're more into like the reddit like stuff i just think i just would yeah i'm curious why if you guys like watch porn together it's not like a taboo topic with you two like why his first instinct was to say that it was like on his home page versus like a message yeah because

like i don't message anybody on red like i've messaged one person because they had like this cool instagram page that i used to follow and they like closed the page and i was like i just asked them what happened to their instagram page yeah that's the only person i've ever messaged anything about on reddit i've never messaged anything in i mean i don't look at porn on reddit but i know that it's readily available so it i mean there's subreddits that have porn all on it so i don't i don't understand like how he was part of this message but i just like even if he was why would he lie about it that's the thing like who cares well that makes me wonder um and it was a group message so it's not like somebody was doing it like specifically to him

yeah so i do wonder if like he sought out to be a part of and included in this message because he it like would it be like can you like join a forum and then they message like yeah but like even then like so what like i don't understand why he would hide it because it could have just been like he was in this subreddit and then they sent out a message and like okay yeah well i think the i think the overall theme of this is like i feel like my boy my boyfriend has just lied to me he did it so easily now i'm really worried that he's been lying about other stuff yeah and i don't think that that's an irrational feeling or fear to have at all because like it is alarming when people are very good at lying and i think it's great that he like showed you like that it like

wasn't what like it wasn't like yeah i i think you just need to have like a sit-down conversation with him and then i don't know what else there really is to do there except just be kind of like not I want to say like on the lookout but just kind of be aware and whether that's like reflecting on like other circumstances where you might have felt like you've been like gaslit or that you felt like something didn't necessarily add up or even something that you like felt like kind of that like nagging feeling but you never said anything about because you were like oh I'm being crazy or like I'm like even stuff that you never even brought up to him like look back and if are you able to find any of those things and then just like moving forward if you like want to move

forward and you're able to um which i don't think yeah do whatever the fuck you want to do with your life but then i think like just being aware and cautious in other situations if you're feeling that same kind of feeling that he's like lying about something or isn't being fully truthful but i would start off with having conversation as to why his first instinct was to lie and if he's like because i thought you would get mad that's something you have to unpack because it's like why why what have I shown you any other time before that like this is something that like I would be upset about and if it's like projecting from something else or any of that other kind of stuff like I think it's a very important thing to like take note of because that can be pushing

blame on as opposed to like changing someone's actions it's like I'm lying about my actions because I don't want your reactions to what I'm doing versus like well if you think I'm going to react badly to something why are you going to do it and if you don't think it's a bad thing then like why would you date me if you think that like my do you know what i mean like it's just it doesn't it doesn't necessarily add up but this also could be an instance of like the one fucking time that he like he just got caught off guard and then didn't know what to say and yeah all right well okay next call yeah let's get to the next one hello megan and melissa hello i am a 37 year old virgo and i'm quote unquote friends with a 44 year old male we met on the dating app hinge

we shop together we cook together we sleep over each other's houses we act like a couple in front of his friends. I've known him since October 8th. It is now November 8th, and we spend 90% of our time together. He gives me everything I need in a relationship. I am so satisfied. It's insane. But he's been divorced for two years. His ex was very controlling and manipulative. At this moment, he does not want a title on our quote-unquote friendship. He is scared to repeat the past. My question is, should I carry on with him because he gives me everything I need in a relationship? I know a time that we will fall for each other. I'm just having a hard time with the title of friends with benefits. Also, how do I stop talking about a relationship with him? I seem

to need the title of dating. We are currently not dating anyone else and so we're exclusive quote-unquote friends so it would be nice if you can give me your advice uh to help me through this time in my life thank you bye your exclusive friends i mean you've only known each other for a month i think it's way too early to be putting labels on any type of relationship and i mean you're probably spending all this time together because we're in a quarantine um so yes it may feel like your relationship is on fast forward but it's still really early to be putting on a label especially if he's been divorced before like two years isn't that long ago when we're talking about marriage um yeah uh you you still it's still too early yeah it's still too early

if he wasn't recently divorced but like he's recently divorced like and i think that like we can kind of get into this like cycle of like oh yeah sometimes people who like don't want to put labels on it. Like we can, it's a blessing in disguise because like it's, we're not ready for that yet because I'm going to disappoint you with this title because I'm not ready for the responsibilities and the obligations. And the reason why I'm fulfilling everything is because we don't have that. And then like, if someone doesn't like, and let's say like years down the road or whatever, someone or like months and months and months later, someone doesn't want to do that they don't want to do that because they they're gonna disappoint you like that's why

like that's because if they're friends with benefits you can't cheat like and you can't like you i mean like there's just like it happens all the fucking time where it's like i'm some people like you're just playing house like you're basically dating but you're not dating and like but that title is like a technicality that like protects a lot of people from it. Yeah. It gives them the ability to like feel okay with then if they fuck up or do something that's like really not okay,

because there's the titles not there, even though that doesn't really make an emotional difference. But again, it's like, it's a technicality of it, but it also protects you in that sense because like he, he's not ready for a reason and like getting him to like be like your boyfriend or whatever and he if he's not ready you're not you don't want that boyfriend right you like the idea of

what you want is him wanting it just as much as you and it feel maybe it feels like that's what he wants too but he's saying he doesn't listen to him because otherwise he's just gonna disappoint you and that's so fast a month did she say she's 37 or 27 37 and he's 44 44 oh i thought he was 24 i was like that's a lot for a 24 year old that is but but like it's kind of like a good pivot to what the update is too which is the opposite of it's the opposite of somebody that was brushing into a relationship too soon so yeah I mean I think the the the last thing that you can not the last thing but I think something that you can also do if like it's okay if it's if it feels like he's your boyfriend and he won't be your boyfriend to tell him like okay then I think we

need to like dial back our relationship to match this title because it's just hard for me and you can do that and I think that's very valid but I would also say if you're like should I be done like should like is this something like if my weight blah blah that's also like you only know that do you like you only know like if it's like if you think that he's just fucking around and like it's not actually ever gonna happen and he wants all the perks with like none of like the actual like responsibility or anything like that then totally cut it off and be done but it's i i think your best bet is to is to dial it back like the emotional aspect of it to match up with like the actual title of it

because he think probably thinks and not being your boyfriend that like therefore what he did if anything inevitably happened he wouldn't hurt you but his actions are making him be like your boyfriend and then that's what will still hurt you so i think you need to protect yourself in that sense because i think he's protecting himself with not having a title so i think you need to protect yourself by not being so um emotionally invested yeah yeah which is hard but also like or not and fuck it you know i mean but yeah he's cautious with his heart yeah hey should have been should have been like the next uh should have been like our update that's there are two different kinds of men in the world yeah i'm trying to think if there's any other kinds

I think there's the guy that's in the middle not all men Megan not all men okay okay guys we are going to take a quick break and then it is time for our update okay so my original call was about um the girl being overly jealous of her ex-boyfriend and he had a new female friend that I was getting really insecure about and then you guys talked about different things and how we need to talk about it and in the original call I did say that we broke up for reasons that weren't very significant and that was kind of a lie I just I knew you guys would get mad at me if I told you the real reason so I just wanted to know like how to not be so jealous okay what's the real reason though we know we always know that this shit

happens well the real reason is he's crazy shocked yeah so kind of an update now is we're not talking anymore since that happened and he just has been playing with my emotions for like two years on and off now so it's just like finally needs to be cut off but I just wanted to see if you could if you guys could give me some advice on like how to actually move on and just be like not so bothered by everything and yeah and he's just done some really crazy shit so I wanted to share that too what kind of shit has he done so we met two years ago today like around two years ago this time and this was the first guy I've ever dated the first guy I've ever like really liked I first loved first time ever having sex with anyone so like it was a lot of first times

with him and I just had never felt so comfortable with someone until I met him like I had talked to guys here and then here and there and like there were a few guys that I dated kind of around like for a few months but nothing ever went anywhere and I was never like sexually attracted to someone until I met him so things just felt really different with him and from the beginning like I could tell that he was really really into me in the beginning too and like he told me that we were gonna get married so and this was all when we were both 20 like about to turn 21 so we were still young but not like 16 year olds when you talk about marriage you know it's fake so I thought I thought you know like this is my first relationship I'm really young but I was like

it could happen like I'm not that young I was like I know what I want or at least I thought I did so he would tell me like we're gonna get married we're gonna have kids we're gonna do this we're gonna do that he's just like I'm so excited for you to meet my parents like I've already told them that I love you so much and you're the one for me and like I met his parents they were amazing like they were both so sweet I was so happy I was like oh my god like I really do think this guy's the one and then from the beginning so I met him off of Bumble and I knew that my family would find that really weird so I never told them that I just told them that like we met through friends and when I like before they knew anything about him I showed them a picture of him and they're

like we don't like him and I was like what and I was like uh this is him he's really sweet like I really like him we don't like him what's his major in college I told them they're like yeah we don't trust him we don't like him and I was like okay so from the first second they didn't like him and like when I told them that I was going to meet his parents they were like we don't like his parents. We know his parents don't have good intentions. Like what kind of parents want to meet a girlfriend after like two and a half months, this is too soon. Like you're going to get played. Like we don't like him. So this was all before they even met him. And I was telling him some of this. So it made him really insecure that he knew my parents didn't like him. And then

I was going on vacation. So this was six months into us dating. And during those six months, we were like, completely attached. Like we went on vacations together, we spent so much time together. And then I was going on vacation to go visit my family. And I went to Greece. So obviously, there's a lot of good looking guys in Greece, like you go partying in Greece and stuff like that. I've seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. He was, he was very, very, very jealous that I was going to Greece. Like he made me well, he didn't I don't know if he did it on purpose, but I did not like I did not want to go to Greece at all and I go almost every summer because my mom's from there so I love it there so much and even if it's not about boys and partying and stuff

like he knows that I was also a virgin before him like I had never done anything so why would I do anything then but every day that I was in Greece we were getting in fights he was just like I know you're cheating on me like he would look at my followers and text me a picture of a guy and be like who's this guy did you meet him at a club did you do you have sex with him I was like no like I don't know what you're talking about and then one day he sent me a link and then this was towards the end of my um vacation he sends me a link and I'm like what is this link because I don't know why it was on Twitter and once he sent it it disappeared so he sent me the link and then I was like what was the link and then he ignored me for two days and I was like what

happened and then he sent me the link again and it was a Pornhub girl that looked nothing like me it was just like from chest down and it was just of her boobs shaking her boobs and he was just like these he was like these are your boobs

why are you on Pornhub and I was like um what the hell is your problem I was like first of all like you've seen me naked like you know I'm like you they're similar like maybe someone that's never seen me would think maybe that's her like the girl has darker skin like her nipples were different I was like

this is not bitches aren't my tits how have you not been paying attention they looked very similar though and then like the weird thing was that she was wearing an outfit that I basically had and then she had so when we him and I vacationed we went to go to my family home in Texas so we road trip like 12 hours there and we had this big fuzzy brown blanket and she had the exact same blanket wow so he was just like this is literally your blanket I've seen you wear those shorts like this is literally you I'm so mad like he's just like it's just the fact that you're lying to me right now about being on porn that makes me really sad but he was like on there looking like yeah yeah so he searched up my ethnicity because I'm mixed so he searched up like girl

with big boobs because he said i missed you so much i wanted to find girls that look like you which oh my god which is weird but it didn't bother me yeah i was like okay like i i don't have a problem with him on porn but i'm like you can't find girls that look like me and then say they look too much like you it is you that's so true that's such a bad excuse like i was looking at like i looked up girls because like i miss you and i only want to look at girls like look like you and then be like bitch this is you it's like you did this dude like you literally did this to yourself you played yourself you played your fucking self and then like the girls like it was oddly similar because like the girl's location was in texas and like him and i had road trip to

texas and the blanket and he was just like this is you and then he like for some reason found this girl and her actual face was showing and she had braces like she was like a 12 year old girl and he sent that one to me and he's like this just makes me so sad that you were doing this at 12 I've never met him he's so stupid yeah and he was like he was just like I don't mind that you did it but it just makes me so sad like he was just like I know like he was like I know your parents were so strict and you weren't allowed to leave the house but it just makes me so sad that at 12 you were doing stuff like this what can I can I ask can I ask a question real quick what about him like are your parents psychic like what about him that they they saw a picture and they were like

no is his name chad like did he have like did he like was he holding a fish in his profile picture like was it like glasses that look like the glasses that jeffrey dahmer wore so they thought that he looked like a serial killer well i don't think they were that off they weren't that fucking your parents were your parents or they picked up on that shit listen to them also that's such a specific like here i am thinking his name is chad and it's like no you know he bears a resemblance with his glasses to jeffrey dahmer so like serial killer like not even ted bundy like not a serial killer that anyone was like oh jeffrey dahmer like that's like oh yeah no they were like he looks like a serial killer they're like his his uh major is

finance and my mom's like a lot of people in finance become accountants and i don't trust to count it it's like it was like your mom me too she's not wrong but um okay so all of that happened and I didn't really tell my family any of that because I know that they would have been like what the fuck like if he was looking on porn and stuff so I told a few of my friends and then after that he ended up blocking me on everything for like five days and then these are like I had eight days left in Greece so for five days he blocked me and I was so so so sad I was just like are we broken up what is going on like every day I was just crying I even texted his mom and I was like I'm so worried about him what's going on and then he ended up um he ended up unblocking me and

apologizing and he's just like I'm really sorry like I was just too jealous like I'm I'm not gonna act like this anymore and then we were like okay and then at that point my family is just like we don't trust him we don't like him why would he block you for that long and then he actually broke up with me for good like three or four days later and then again blocked me on everything so after that so this was a weird transition time where he was in the middle of transferring school so he went to a school that was 20 minutes away from me and then he ended up transferring to one that was three and a half hours away from me so he we broke up he blocked me and then he transferred school so it's just like oh god like i'm never gonna see him again but then

this is actually kind of funny but also embarrassing but i'll share it anyways so i i knew what school he was going to and i knew the new building that he was gonna in toronto every arrival is a statement and nothing says it better than this cadillac optic was the number one selling luxury ev in canada for 2025 find your rhythm across a seamless 33 inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac.

Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. But I didn't know how to get into the building or, and my best friend went to that same school, so I was there anyways. So I knew that he went to the school

and the building he lived in, so i this is embarrassing but i was desperate and crazy so it's okay uh i downloaded a burner app and i texted his number saying hi um this is mike from uh insomnia cookies like i'm here outside with your order smart that's a smart way so he came running downstairs for his cookies and I was like oh hi it's me and surprisingly he was nice about it and everything and then I went up to his room with him because he's a serial killer that's what serial killers do he's like I would do this too he was just like I knew this was either someone he thought his mom actually ordered him cookies or he was just like or someone was coming to beat me up for some

reason so he opened the door like we went into his apartment wait wait wait wait wait someone was coming to beat him up for no reason or for some reason you can't brush over that like what does that mean like people just randomly text him to beat him up and he shows up and he comes down maybe like a drug dealer or something because he does do drugs I don't know okay loser continue yeah so we talked about everything and then I was still so desperate like I really wanted to get back with him and i i brought i pulled up the porn video of the girl's boobs and i showed him mine and he was like okay you're right like this isn't you i'm sorry that is such a funny image you holding it like shirt lived up tits shaking that's so funny oh my god and i was like okay

like do you can you see now this isn't me and he's just like you're so right and he's like i'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, I feel really guilty. I'm so sorry. And then I was just like, yeah. And I was like, okay, well, I don't know if we can get back together because of what happened. But you know, I really did want to like, get your point of view and actually kind of talk to you. And then from there, like, he seemed like he was really, really willing to try. So I gave him another chance. And then so this was last September, so September 2019. so then we I could not tell my family that we were back together and they were in a different state so it was fine like I was just hiding it for several months so we dated until December of 2019

and then things were like okay like I could tell like things were a little different like in the beginning of our relationship like he really really liked me I could tell and then now it's just like he wasn't as sweet like he wouldn't say like in the beginning of our relationship he always made it a point to say good night I love you like good morning I love you like he stopped doing that as much um and he just wasn't trying as hard to come visit me like I was visiting him a lot more often and then so in December like for his birthday his birthday was early December so he's a Sagittarius so I got him a birthday gift and he wasn't that appreciative of it and he's just like I wanted something else and he's just kind of being an asshole so around Christmas time

so I broke up with him and then of course we got back together after that and then we saw each other and then things were like whatever for my birthday which is in February I'm at Pisces he did nothing for my birthday he told me like why don't you come visit me and then we'll go see my parents and they'll take us out to dinner which was just weird I'm like why can't you just take me out to dinner I want to hang out with your parents on my birthday yeah and I'm like and you're making me drive because his parents live six hours away from where I was so I was like I have to drive six hours so your parents could take me to dinner they can't Venmo him like if he didn't have money they couldn't Venmo him yeah right or I'm like or you can just make me food for free or just come

visit me and like spend time with me so he didn't visit me so I ended up crying on my birthday and then I went and drove three and a half hours to go visit him like he he said happy birthday but like he didn't even send a sweet message he didn't write me a card he really didn't do anything like he got me flowers for valentine's day and took me to dinner for that but nothing for my birthday so i was like okay this is this kind of sucks and when's your birthday february 20th as february 16th people try to lump our birthdays in with valentine's day and it's not fair and it's stupid he didn't even acknowledge that my birthday was close to valentine's day like he did something for Valentine's and then birthday he just said happy birthday and that was it like we went to a

bar for my birthday with my best friend but he was kind of annoyed the whole time while we were there and I was like okay like does this guy even like me at all and then so March came and it was um I went to go visit my family for what I thought was just going to be a quick one week spring break and then quarantine happened so I ended up staying there for a while and I told him like at the end of spring break like when I had my ticket and this was before like things got really bad and they put the stay-at-home orders so I told him I was like I think things are about to get bad do I get on my flight tomorrow and I can come like and stay with you and quarantine with you or should I stay here and he was like just stay there and then he ended up breaking up with me

again and I was so bummed I was like why are you breaking up with me and he's just like I don't know what I want like I want to see other people like I think we both he's just like we're both so young like we can get married later on but like for now we need to go see other people like I just I need this time blah blah blah and I was like okay what the hell does that even mean and I was like do you even love me he's like of course I love you I was like are you in love with me he's like yeah I'm not really sure and I was really really sad and then so that happened beginning of March and then I was starting to get over it and like June 1st I think I had to move out of my apartment here so I had to take a flight back I had no option I had to take a flight back

come move out and he was in the area so it's just like do you think you could at least come help me move out and he was just like no blah blah blah and then we started talking a little bit and he was just like you know what I'm so sorry like I want to be with you of course on and off and then that all ended up he just said okay goodbye like I have feelings for another girl so then he dated that girl for a little bit and then in September he texted me again saying like hey you know this year has been really hard for me like I've gotten into a lot of hard drugs and like I just haven't been myself like I ended up dropping out of school and everything he's just like I just haven't been myself but like from now on I'm definitely going to take care of myself and I'm really trying to

work on myself and get better and I was like okay like that's good and I was just like but you said a lot of hurtful things to me when we were broken up and he was just like well like I don't even remember what I said but I'm so sorry for saying anything because I was on drugs and he's just like I don't I really don't remember what I said it was all the drugs he's just like I was mixing acid with who knows what and he's just like I was just mixing all the drugs and it just wasn't me like I really don't remember what I said I'm so sorry so I kind of believed him and then we started talking again of course but I knew like it wasn't really gonna go anywhere so I got on hinge like finally I got on hinge and some dating apps. I was like, okay, like, you know what, I'm just

going to see what's out there and try to talk to new people because it's been way too long wasting my time with him. And then, um, he, so for some, I was telling him something about my sister being on hinge. And then he said, I got the idea that you were on hinge. So he made a hinge and found me on there. And he was so mad at me for a whole week. Like he didn't talk to me for a whole week he's just like why are you on hinge like blah blah blah like I'm so upset like this really hurt my heart to see that you're on hinge and I was like okay I'm so sorry so I completely deleted it and at this time like he hadn't even mentioned like wanting to get back together with me or anything but of course my hinge bothered him so much and he even acknowledged he was just

like yeah like I get we're not together but you know like we're gonna get married so this just really bothers me yeah so he's just like the only way I can forgive you is if we live out my fantasy of having a threesome and I was like what the fuck is this threesome and he was just like do you he was just like do you know any girls that would be down like he asked me if my best friend would be down he's just like yeah he's like I've just always wanted two girls to suck my dick at the same time and he's like after I do that I feel like I'd be ready to settle down the audacity for you to be on hinge but he's like but I in order to settle down I I need two girls to suck my dick get one not just two girls but you and your best friend yeah and I'm like first of all I would

never be able to look at my best friend the same way and also she would be so disgusted if I even asked her like she she knows I have feelings for this guy why would she do this to me so I'm like no and then to make him feel worse I was like okay what about if we have a threesome with your best friend and he's like no he's way too hot he has a six pack and like he's taller than me he's like but he has a smaller dick, so it's fine. Oh my God. Yeah. So I was just like, okay, like you're literally so annoying and crazy, but I don't know why I can't just block you and stop talking to you. And then I started thinking like, okay, like let me play this guy. And I started sending him pictures of girls on Tinder. I was just like, would you be down for her? Would you

be down for her? And he's like, oh, this is going to be so hot. Like I'm so excited for this. And he's just like maybe you are like a little bisexual like I think it would be cool blah blah blah and I'm like okay like I'm I'm genuinely not gonna do this first of all like when do you even COVID won't be over for like two years like when are we even gonna do this he's like maybe maybe it's best that we wait until we don't have feelings for each other to do this and then he would tell me like but but he wants to marry you like that makes no sense yeah I think the marrying thing went away I don't know he's just like I've never had a connection with someone like this he's just like my ex-girlfriend another thing about when I was on vacation he told me like oh like last time

my ex-girlfriend was on vacation that's when she cheated on me so I had this image of his ex-girlfriend that she cheated on him and like her current boyfriend that she was with that she cheated on him with but then I found out like her and this guy like got together after they broke up and like her and her boyfriend broke up once him and I broke up and then they started following each other on Instagram so I'm like what the hell is this and every time I tried asking him he's just like I don't know like she just wanted to follow me like we still have mutual friends it's not a big deal and I was like okay is it a big deal I don't know but that kind of sums it all up and then two days ago I told him I was just like you know what like I don't know why you're still

playing with my feelings like this I was just like it actually really hurts like I can't continue to do this like I do really want to move on and I was just like I just and I was like I don't think I can block you and I was like can you please just do me a favor and block me and he kind of just said like no why would I block you like I'll see you again someday he's just like but I don't know what I want and he's just like and I but I don't want a relationship right now man I hate him I hate him but okay so you you want you want advice from us on how to move on right yeah what kind of advice do you want can we hurt your feelings a little bit a little bit not because you're a Pisces so I know I will hurt your feelings to a Pisces extent I'm not gonna hurt

your feelings like you're a fire sign not gonna do that do you want to start Melissa okay so this man is emotionally abusing you on so many levels and and he has the power and he knows he has the power and 100 he knows because you've told him on numerous occasions the most recent one with you saying you need to block me because i can't block you like he knows that he has this power over you and he's going to manipulate you he knows that you were he essentially he was your first everything and you don't have any experience in being in another relationship I'm guessing do you do you feel like this is the type of relationship that you should be in no like I know deep down or not even that deep down like I just know in my heart that this is

not what it's supposed to be but for some reason every time we stop talking it just hurts so bad that I'm like I rather just talk to him a little bit even though when we are talking I'm crying every single day is it because you miss him or you just miss being with someone there so another thing is like we were long distance for a while and anytime we were texting things felt like okay I don't want to be in this relationship and when we were together like everything felt really great even though we weren't really leaving his room whenever we did leave it was really nice like that's still a form of manipulation like he was he was keeping you there to keep you from leaving to keep you from going to the outside world and then like not

letting you eat like he wouldn't get food with you like these are all things that he was doing to manipulate you to keep the power in the relationship he's attracted to control and power and you love him he loves control and he loves that so like even the same thing like we say right off the bat like any guy who's saying when you start dating like oh I want my family to meet you I see myself marrying you and all of that that's a manipulation tactic because even if we feel that you wouldn't say that to someone immediately just because like it's a responsibility even if you feel that because you just need to guard your heart because you don't know this other person but when someone is so willy-nilly just gonna say all of that kind of stuff we have

this skewed perspective of someone who's like oh wow their communication like they're so open with their feelings but in reality they're reckless with not only their feelings but your feelings and they're doing it to get a response out of you and to get like to gauge your reaction versus like it's like we say when you say like you love someone or whatever like say it not because you want the other person to say it back is because like you feel you really feel like you need to say it and when you don't have that like filtering system of this is like too much too fast or like these are these things are like I'm gonna marry all of that kind of thing like it's a guy who tells you that he is going to like marry you when like very beginning of when you

start dating and all that he's love bombing you already and what that does is it sets you up to the fact that he will never be like that again and so then you will always compare it to this previous version of himself and how he was acting and it romanticizes that when in reality that was also manipulation but like he knew that you've never been in a relationship before and like even if you have been in a relationship before that can feel really like you can you can really get caught up in love bombing like it's something that we fall for all of the time and so then he will all you will always be comparing him to a version of himself that he created to get you to be so into him the same thing when you're like i could tell he like really really liked me and all

of that stuff like that was a manipulation tactic and like to get you to then he felt like not even he made you feel like you had the power because he like not knocked himself down but like really kind of puppy dogged it and was like I'm so into you I'm so crazy about you like I have all these feelings for you like I want you in my family like I see myself marrying you and makes you feel like all of those like statements and everything like really encompasses like how he feels and it makes you feel like chosen and safe and like picked and like just like accepted and like loved and then he flips the switch and then he takes that away and he takes the power and i i promise you i doubt you even liked him that fucking much until he fucking love bombed you

and then took it away and then you're like oh no i really i really like you when in reality it's just he's depriving you of something he already gave you and he's just manipulating you for that and then the same thing when you go away the whole like you're gonna cheat on me you're gonna do all of that stuff like he's emotionally manipulating you to be so upset so you don't leave your room so you don't do any of that stuff because he if he can't keep you within like arm's reach he's not positive that you're not going to realize that he's a piece of shit and other that you deserve better and other people will treat you better so he has to make you feel like shit so then he makes you feel like his love and his acceptance is like the only that is like the only way that you will

feel like appreciated because he's the only thing you have to compare it to and that's like the hardest part because like when my like first I would say my first like serious boyfriend I when we broke up like it was so fucking hard to get over him because I had never been in love with anyone else and so like he was also the first person I ever had sex with so like I I compared everything to him because I didn't not even necessarily compared everything but like my idea of like a boyfriend a relationship love sex was only with all on one person so like I tied those two things together as opposed to being like oh you were not the you're someone I had sex with but I had sex like I had to make it about me versus like this is on like he was a part of it

like no you were just fucking there and like this was my first experience being in love but like you I had to sever the fact that there was another person there that was involved in it and I just had to be like yeah it was me like these were my coming of age things these were things that i did but it's so hard when it's your first relationship because people take advantage of that and they like know that they can get away with fucking shit because you don't know not necessarily you don't know any different but like yeah they love bomb you and they just manipulate the shit out of you and now now that you like i think that he picks up on you seeing through that some and now he's trying to use drugs as an excuse for how he was behaving and then bringing you back in having

you feel sorry for him saying that he doesn't remember what he said like all of these are things that he's doing to manipulate you and you need to I want to like right now give you the permission that you can block him like you are empowered to do that and if you want to do it while we're here watching you you know yeah you can be your emotional support and you can also like have um like have your like i don't know if you have like a family i mean your family does not like him but like even if it they don't know any of this but like if it's like someone else that you need to like actually press the button and like actually block him or if it's it's like blocking him and then changing the username like changing the name that's there or something so

like you don't know where it is and you can't find it and all of that kind of stuff it's and it takes like i don't know it's kind of like if you think about like breaking habits or whatever like it takes a while to actually like commit to like going through with it and it will hurt more until it like before it doesn't and then you're going to recognize like oh wow this is like so much fucking better but it takes a while because like you have to kind of you have to get out of the habit of reaching back out too and i will also say like there i i mean if he's i'm is it acid and weed that he was doing like what was he calling hard drugs um he was doing like ketamine is a hallucinogen isn't it yeah the horse trinkle I thought that was so weird and

who knows I don't even know anything about drugs but they all scared me and I was like can you please stay away from all of this so like acid ketamine do you think like I don't know like ecstasy molly shrooms that kind of stuff not like coke heroin like like fentanyl like oh no no no not like too hard okay because i don't do anything it's hard i know i i mean i i have like a difference between like i i say like you know hard drugs and party drugs like party drugs i think of like hallucinogens like those kinds of things so like he's even if he's saying that he's like his rhetoric of him talking about drugs and like placing blame on it he's not actually like getting any help for drug like that's like the first step if you're going through like addiction counseling or even

going to an AA meeting or even just reading a fucking article or a book like this is it is there is that is like once I said it's just a manipulation tactic in there because he's not taking any accountability and like onus for what he has like done and like his choice and also like I'm not into drugs I'm not a fan of drugs but like there is a very big difference between like really i again like party drugs and hard hard hard drugs and him using this like excuse of like you know like whether it's like being a stone or like doing acid or stuff like that like you can obviously have like really bad trips and do things like that but like he's he's also banking on the fact that you don't know a ton about drugs and that you are going to come at it from a place

of empathy and like you're not an asshole who's gonna immediately question like are you lying to me about like this and like all of that kind of stuff like he's just this is essentially like us giving you permission being like no no he is like it's just manipulation and he's he knows that you're empathetic and he knows that you're going to look at it and i think that a lot of people when it comes to like especially like drugs and stuff like that people think if if you don't have like experience with doing drugs or like know people who have like gotten caught up in doing all that kind of stuff like other people do use that as like a manipulation tactic to be like I blame this on like the drug and it's if someone has a real as someone who knows who

has had people in my life who've had like real bad substance abuse problems there is like a time where like everything is blamed on that but like when you're actually getting help it's accountability and it's like people who are really taking accountability for what they've done uh writing their wrongs addressing their kind of issues but they wouldn't want to be in a relationship either because when you're going through those type of programs they tell you do not be in a relationship with someone because he's using he's using he's like the way he's treating you even if he was like going through like the way he's treating you is like the exact textbook of like how you shouldn't treat somebody especially when you're trying to like be in recovery and like in like

like work on yourself and do all of that stuff like he's not like he's just lying and trying to get you like Melissa said he can sense that you're starting to see through his facade and so he's like reaching that he's like scrambling and trying to like he's pulling out all of the fucking stops of ways that he can get he can get through to you again because his previous tactics aren't working anymore he's putting all of it on like there's he has not accepted responsibility for everything even if you think of like him being jealous when you're going to Greece oh was his ex-girlfriend cheated on him on vacation so like that's why he was so upset or like even like the porn thing like oh i was looking up girls who like look like you so again that's him saying

this is your fault for looking like that like everything is on he's not accepting responsibility for absolutely anything at all and like i think i mean what he likes is the control and the power and like i truly think like he just likes fucking with people and he just likes to have that kind of manipulation and make you feel shitty and he's intentionally doing it which is like a really hard thing to hear because like you don't want to you don't want to think that someone is intentionally going out there hurt your feelings but he is he knows he's going to do things that hurt you and then make you make you not feel worthy make you not feel like enough and then he's going to come in and like quote-unquote fix it kind of or just like grace you with like okay we'll get back

together like blah blah blah but take no responsibility like he's just any time that like and that's why you have to like block him and like like just like take that time off because you'll right now what he's doing it's like whack-a-mole like the second that you start to like build this confidence up and like start to recognize that he swoops back in and knocks you back down and then you start a hundred percent and you need to get over that hump so when he comes back around you're like fuck you you can't fucking knock me down like you're an asshole like i'm i'm clean of your shit like i have been once you're separated enough from it you'll be able to see it from like this bigger picture of like oh shit like wow and i will say tell your fucking

parents because they will hold you accountable hold you accountable 100 and even if it's like can you just be like i i like here you guys are fucking right he's a piece of shit and like he like first love first boyfriend so like i like hate that i'm still kind of caught up in it and like i can i really have been missing him like i'm blocking him and i know he's not good for me and i know he's a piece of shit and i know i deserve better so like i just need you guys to hold me accountable and it can even be as simple as like like if there's like a certain time of day that you like think about him more or like you're used to talking to him whatever like be like okay every time that this like i'm going to like watch an episode like pick a tv show like this is i'm

gonna watch this show at this time when this happens like and retrain yourself so you have new habits which habits are important especially if you like we're long distance for all because like oh we text it this time and we like call it this time we do all of this stuff if you reschedule your life with new things that just like take the place of him and eventually you're going to realize like all of the stuff that you recognize now there i'm sure there's so many other shit that he's done that like you won't even recognize that was like so awful until like months months have gone by but you need to block him on yeah everything these are your action steps block him on everything tell your parents tell your parents tell someone that you trust

write down every shitty thing that he's ever done to you and i want you to like replay this call too like whenever you think about reaching back out to him replay this call and go to therapy if you're not already in therapy and you have to take a break from dating i know we're in a pandemic so i'm sure but like because i i like i so relate to this like i so so relate to this and i my like goal is to make sure that nobody has to go through some of the stupid shit that i did but like when you have a really toxic really bad relationship and i'm someone who like i love a distraction i love something else but the issue is is our barometer of how we see people and like what we think not only like what we think we deserve because we think we deserve better than this

person but the issue is is anybody's better than this dude right now and then like it's someone who's only marginally better and we just can get into this if we don't take the time to really get oh like not only get get over it but like really like look at it and see how awful they are and how it's not that you deserve better than that but like what you deserve specifically and like something that's like a fucking high like this is where the these like fucking people need to be and like if you if you bounce back into like any relationship or talking to someone afterwards like that becomes one shitty relationship becomes like five in a row that they all become marginally better than the last but they're all still shit guys so it's until you're over him

and you know you're worth more than what he gave you and you know specifically what it is that you're worth and it's not like a bare minimum like it's like fucking it's high but yeah it's unfriending any of your friends who like if you have any mutual friends or anyone who if you're friends with people i was gonna say there's no way that this dude would allow you guys to have mutual friends because then that would take the control away from him so i'm sure you don't have any mutual friends one time though so like one of his friends from high school or something that he doesn't even really talk to followed me on instagram and then two days later he texted me saying like are you are you talking to my guy friends yeah that's that's that's him manipulating

you and controlling you so I think just the hardest part for me is like I don't know I just find it so hard to believe that people can actually manipulate people on purpose yeah like I would never I don't even understand it it's like what did I do to you to make you want to manipulate me it's not about you it's not something it's it's so hard to also recognize and the fact that like you would never do this to somebody else and also you didn't give him permission to do this to you and that's that's a huge thing i had to learn in therapy that like my therapist was like you didn't give anyone permission to hurt you at all like they just fucking did it and like that's all there is to it so like there yeah it's it's recognizing that

all of this is on him and there is some pride that comes with like being in a shitty relationship because you don't want to think like how did i let him do this or how like you didn't he did he did all of this kind of shit and there is no his his potential redemption arc has nothing to do with you and you don't want to be around to see it because if you're around to see it it's not it's not real like he's not actually going to do that and like it sucks that there are some like really shitty people out there who just who just do it to people who don't deserve it not that anyone really deserves it but like that it's it's nothing you could have done would have changed this at all at like and nothing that you can do now will change the situation other than just being

getting rid of him and being away from all of it because if he wanted to like change and fix and be better he would have already like that's like he he has no desire to and this is who he is and he's shown you his true colors and anything that you and this is this is one of those things that like i don't mean this in a mean way but anything that you saw that wasn't this like any of those bright spots he's acting those are on purpose like he wants you to think of those things and he he orchestrated those he created a character and all of the shitty stuff is actually him all of the good stuff those are that was the manipulation and like him doing a good job at trying to trick you into feeling or seeing him a certain way and then he shows you his true colors and then makes

you believe that that's the anomaly and it's not like that's that's him and he is just he's not gonna change he's not gonna be different and it also does not make you an asshole for being done with him like whether like regardless of any shit that he's like if he's like that's why you have to block him because it's like you and you know he's got a like relationship with his family he's fucking fine but like it doesn't make you an asshole for it thinking like oh well what if he texts and like reaches out for me for help or like what if he needs like he doesn't he doesn't need that because you can't provide that for him because it's all on him this is the time for you to be selfish this is for you you wasted so much fucking time not being selfish and him just being

a fucking asshole like you could set his car on fire and i would be like yes do more like the very bare minimum is like block him do not speak to him and then just move on like your life from him like you have every right to be so angry and so pissed at him and you have to get to that point because like you have to get past the sad point to get to the anger and the anger is fun and like just think of like how fun it will be to like hate his guts and just like look at like if you if you ever see a picture of him you're like trash disgusting i feel nothing i have scissors in my hands so i'm nipping balls off like that's literally how i feel now and then i'm like but i'm sad because i always just like you said like think of those first memories and then i've been

trying to talk to guys on hinge and i'm always like don't do it you're not ready you're not ready delete because no one's no one's going to sound like he did then because how he sounded wasn't good like and if that's like we tell people that all the time who call in when they're like talking about some guy like that's my biggest red flag to my friends is a guy who comes on so so strong and you'll never you when you start talking to other guys it's like well it's not that and it's like that's so good that's so good a guy should be kind of nervous with his heart and he shouldn't want to like put it all out there because like he doesn't want to get rejected and also he doesn't want to make you and the other thing he doesn't make you feel

uncomfortable someone who will love on you that much does not care about your own boundaries or how you feel or anything like that like it's it's never genuine and it's never it's never real and never true and I think we have this idea that that's what like love feels like like right like when Moth and I started it took me a fucking I Moth and I were friends for a year and a half and the whole time I'm like do I like you like what I want to have something like and like I love him so much but like that instant effect in fact like we have this idea that it's supposed to be like oh sparks fly we see all of this it's like great and amazing and someone's telling you that they feel all of those things before you feel them and then their words get into your head and then

you're like oh i feel this you're like i actually don't like it is kind of more of like a slow burn and even if it's not like if you instantly are attracted to someone you are cautious with like your own heart and like you're not being reckless versus him where he's being fucking reckless and then you'll be so stoked when you like meet a guy or like talk to someone who's like not love bombing you and then if someone else tries to do it again in like months you'll recognize you're like oh shit i don't like this because it's also you're compensating for something you're going above and beyond because like you fucking suck like there's something else here that like you don't think i'm going to like you because i shouldn't like you so you have to go above and

beyond oh i hate it also because like you i've said this to guys before on like dating apps back in the day i'm like when they're like oh my god you're so great i'm like you don't know me you don't know that i'm fucking great like you say this to everyone on a podcast yeah like it's true though like that's what happens like they just when someone is so over the top saying those things they don't know you so they're saying it to everyone and then they're seeing who it sticks with I hate him he's a he's also just like what a fucking deadbeat like what just like a like just like a piece of like he's just like he's weighing you down he ruined your grease trip yeah and I was like who would have thought that was like the last time for a long time that I'd

be able to even go on vacation because of covid and everything like where i decided to move for work like i wanted to move close to him so i'm here now and everything it's just like garbage garbage he's glowed down a lot there's no way he's cute i'm just gonna say this right off there's no way he used to be really cute and then he has a mullet now and he has the creepy mustache with his glasses with his serial killer look your parents thought so your parents thought he looked like a serial killer when he was cute now when he was cute now he has his glasses he has a full-on bullet and um like he looks like a trump supporter is he no no he's very liberal and like his family is too but i don't know why he's choosing to look so weird now

no offense to anyone that has a mullet or creepy mustache no i mean okay a mullet and a mustache is fine but when it started with my parents said that he looks like jeffrey nommer you have to show him a pic when you are telling them everything you have to show them a current updated photo to like really get their range going to be like this is what he looks like now i really need you to hold me accountable and they're gonna be like oh yeah fuck this holy tit balls yeah yeah um that was I always say this but that was a lot um it was a lot to take in but I have faith that she's she's strong oh I'm gonna get through this yeah she's been listening since the beginning and she called us knowing what we were gonna say and she also started it with like I know I said we

didn't break up for like any bad reasons like but I'm coming clean with all of this right now and yeah no I think she's so she's so ready yeah she took the first steps to to talk to people that don't know her at all and don't know her situation I think the next steps are then just letting people in her life actually know what's been going on and it's it's hard and I think we've all been in those kinds of relationships and even if like your first relationship isn't necessarily like tumultuous uh in like an emotionally abusive or manipulative way we can get caught up in comparing like and just associating love romance and everything with a specific person and that it's it's a it's a really hard thing to unlearn and that's also like purity

culture and everything that's trickled into like even people who aren't necessarily like religious or like waiting to have marriage until sex. But yeah, so I think that's something that I had to like unlearn a lot of was like associating stuff with a person versus like, oh, this was my first time having sex. I don't, who cares that you were just there. Like, but like, I didn't lose my virginity to you.

I had sex for the first time and you were the penis. Yeah. and like who yeah and but it's it's it's hard and i i hope uh you know maybe for those of you who are in like similar situations your homework after this is doing the same thing blocking finding that friend that you can like confide in and they can hold you accountable and telling other people in your life and people who you live with and really taking those steps to raid your life of that person so you can actually like actually actually get over them yeah um well that's it for our episode guys hope you enjoyed if you want to call in for an upcoming episode

you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com and again we ask if you're we ask you to either have your parents permission if you're under 18 or be over 18 to call in write it down you've got three minutes practice get all those details in there and um and yeah what else you can follow us on instagram we have our own individual instagrams as well as the podcast you can rate the podcast find us over on patreon if you want to support our show so we can keep going and doing all of this stuff we do live streams twice a month which are super fun especially they're so fun i like it they're so great especially for like if you think of it in like a

if you had like a group of friends who like does like a zoom night like girls night over zoom like it's i mean people night doesn't have to no no genders necessarily but like there's also i don't know if you've noticed but there's been a few times where like people's boyfriends have been in the background and it's pretty funny too because they're like listening but like pretending not to listen and i think it's funny because we get a lot of people who tell us that their partners like listen to the podcast like with them and like especially like straight uh like cis male partners who like listen to the podcast without like with them and so i think that's funny that they could like also like eat like listening you know like the

patreon i'm like i see your arm i see you're there yeah i see you um but yeah our videos are also available there and if you want to leave us a rating anything else do you want to promote any of your other shows do you want to just tell people to go to your instagram bio do you want to have your website done maybe i'll have my website done by now so we'll see yeah she i'll put the if if my website's done by now then there's a link in the note she's booked and busy everyone she truly is booked and busy yeah i don't even think you could do anything else if you wanted to uh she's like don't say that i can do i can i mean we'll talk when we're done recording you can make time with anything um well that's it right that's it yeah okay guys um have a good one

and we will see you next week goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts edited by katrina henning and music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso Thank you.