Don't Blame Me! - S8E11: Dad Refuses to Get Vaccinated

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

This week we're sharing advice on:    Update: boyfriend couldn't be just friends with women Mother-In-Law moving to the same floor as you Boyfriend has been hanging out with a girl that's in love with him Boyfriend doesn't want to live with you   Buy our merch   Follow Us! @meghanrienks  www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa  www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @dontblamemepod   https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/ Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME.”   Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme   Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me welcome back we are an advice podcast where we give you guessed it advice my name is megan and i'm joined by my co-host producer and the only reason why anything gets done melissa hello i'm so happy to be here today thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to be a guest on um jimmy fallon thank you what who's the one that like laughs at everything jimmy fell oh yeah say something oh my god that was a good impression i won't lie though like i do find it like if i was a guest i would love that like i would find it like really comforting for someone to laugh at my jokes even if they weren't funny i would find it annoying i think i fully understand that for

you i think i'm in the minority like it would just make me feel comfortable but i i do love the people who is it um dakota johnson who she thought you're supposed to let people talk on your show she i love her so much i've loved her since the first month i saw the um first 50 shades of gray movie and i was like this girl is so funny like so great at this role and like not what you would have expected like the performance and i was like i fucking stand her too and then i went back and watched this uh fox show that she was on that was very short-lived but she was really good what show i don't even remember it was like her and a guy that played her brother and she was like a young mom and her brother had to move in because of i don't even remember and

it sounds like a canceled fox show yeah but it was really funny like she was great in it she's great yeah i just love her and the icon we if we didn't have her we would never have the iconic line that's not true alan you were invited i think about it daily you tweeted about it recently someone was like wait i have no idea what's going on and then the rest of people were like knew exactly what was going on i think about it a lot um well if you guys want to call in for an episode you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976 and international listeners you can send us an audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com so yeah we are a call and advice show you leave voicemails you tell us what's going on in your life what you need some help with and then

we use our amazing wonderful life-changing um brains or our brains our beautiful wonderful giant super smart brains to give you life-changing advice super smart and super juicy brain got a i got a big old but bodacious juicy brain i mean a brain does kind of have like a an ass crack yeah and it's juicy if it's not too much then it dries out and then you're dead just moving around i don't like brains i don't like brains i don't like to it's probably right here megan doesn't like to give hit that's actually not drowned that one specifically but you know um well yeah that's that's our uh that's what we are that's what we're about and if you're gonna leave a voicemail which we encourage you to do or you can send us the voice messages

keep it under three minutes you'll be cut off otherwise 18 or over have your parents permission to call in let us know your pronouns and practice write it down and then read it because that's how you can get a potential gold star or at least a shout out from melissa we've got a pretty long update so we're gonna keep our our chit chat to a minimum at the beginning but i do have to fuck what was i gonna i knew something specific i was gonna ask you would you like to share with the class your exciting news i'm moving i'm so excited that i am getting out of my tiny one bedroom apartment and moving into a house and it's very cute i said making pictures it's so fucking adorable it's like and i just like can picture you like at the front door just like

hello i'm getting like rocking chairs stop to put on the front porch are you gonna yell at people i'm not gonna yell at people but i'll sit out there and quietly judge as i sip lemonade oh i love that that's like on it the american dream i mean i feel like i'm finally like a real adult now oh hey that is like you are not a true adult until you are calling your neighbors youngins and you'll be like they need to slow down on this road speaking of neighbors my next door neighbor that i speak about quite often on this show um she yesterday i was walking up to my door and she was standing out with another neighbor and I and I put my mask on and she was like half the time I see you have on a mask and half the time I see you don't

and I was like half the time that you see me the majority of the time that you see me you're in your house no one's out here if I'm walking to my car I don't have a mask on also she never has on a mask and is unvaccinated and is like over 80. that is like at that point i'm like someone should do a wellness check on you because like she has family over all the time so it's not even that i that old people yeah i'm like you didn't have to say anything you could have just said hi i could have kept going to my door i thought it was going to be like because she's a fucking creep i thought it was going to be like it's her peering into your window it's like yeah i don't

have a mask on she is a creep i don't like she's creeping at me from the inside of her apartment like she'll literally like watch and like yell out like hi melissa like that's being a creep she's a fucking creep yeah i'm so excited nosy ass creep i'm excited for you to not have to me too me too because the neighborhood that i'm moving to is like a very like trendy neighborhood we love a trendy neighborhood a lot of good like walking places to go to to eat and stuff i'm so excited for you i can't wait to go over i can't wait to record there it's gonna be like it's so cute yeah you've and i'm jealous that you're getting rid of your neighbors our weird ass fucking neighbors who play with this is no knock to star wars fans but they play

with like full-size replicas of lightsabers and they're the kind that like make the crashing sound when they hit each other and they play with them outside like right outside one of like our windows and so we can hear everything and they had like probably like 40 people over yesterday just like hanging out in their garage do they dress up yeah okay i've seen them walking in their dressed up outfits they also fence they do a lot of weird fucking shit like no offense and i really only say this because like they're the same people who like they're larping well as someone who's larped i am not really there i can't really pass judgment on someone granted i was larping as like a friend of a larper i was like sure i will attend weed wine i'm there um but they like had

like 50 people over yesterday and they were just i don't know what they were doing i think it's making a joke demands which i was like he was like do you think that they're like like watching something he's like i think they're like playing a drinking game and i'm like i think they're playing settlers of katan he's like they're not and i was just like you know ragging on them i'm sure it sounds like a fun i mean i'm sure it's a fun game but like i was just making fun of them but they literally were like nobody's wearing masks and like it's not even just that like sure we're in la you're outside but like we're in la and like wear a mask don't invite like 50 people over but it was just like i didn't even feel like a crotchety old person i was just like

you guys are so annoying like i'd be like yelling from across the street when friends are coming with like jessica is that jessica oh my god what's up and it was just like so obnoxious and it was to like 3 30 in the morning and they were just like screaming no i wouldn't have but i was gonna say there's no like legit place you can call and be like shut the fuck up i know mox mox and i were joking that it kind of made us want to get like because like we're not going to call the police on someone for like a noise complaint anywhere here regardless of like what they're doing um but once and i were saying that we should invest in um some like scary masks then we could just like go outside and then hide i don't think it would scare them though i know we thought that

that we would have to really specifically like pick something for them that like yeah because we're like i feel like they were just like a great reference it was probably one of their they'd probably think it was one of their friends it was just like you're it was just so obnoxious you're the kind of people where like it's like when you're hanging out with someone and they're like talking so loudly and you're like you don't know how loud you are like it was everyone was like that and they were just screaming and i'm like we can all hear your like really lame mundane conversations like it was just oh gosh so horrible and they were like getting in the way that i couldn't hear the fucking announcers as i'm like watching the olympics and i first thought that

maybe they were watching the olympics and then i like kept going through the channels to see if any of it matched up with like their exciting cheers it was nothing absolutely nothing they're probably watching some type of larping competition yeah maybe i don't know what larping really is and that's the thing that like i am like all for like the nerds and i'm like fuck yeah nerds revenge of the nerds do all your but like it was like nerds that were broing out like like a fucking fraternity and it was like it was like the annoyance that you get by like being around like drunk frat boys but they were nerds like i thought better of you fucking bitches like i had higher standards that's what you get for setting standards it's from from men fucking that's on me

oh well well let's get into the update let's do it um so my call was back in like 2020 in the very beginning before the pandemic became like huge um I was still in the live shows Becca I believe Becca Martinez was your host and um I was the one whose boyfriend like all in one breath was like I don't know how to be just friends with girls. Also, I'm bisexual. And I was like, this is all things that you figured out in therapy. That's great. But we need to actually like have a conversation about this. And he had been planning on going to a birthday party for one of his girlfriends. And I was like, not going to be able to go until like an hour before the party was supposed to end and i was like thinking should i ask him to wait for me to go to the party because

i feel kind of weird about him hanging out with his girlfriends like after he told me that but i never did um so that's an update part of that i never talked to him about it um the only thing i said was to have boundaries which he totally deflected yeah um so here it goes um so I'm bisexual too I never thought like being bi was like an issue and so I like never really brought that up the only issue with me was that he literally said I don't know how to be just friends with girls I've been in a relationship with this guy for three years and this is my first time hearing about this so that raised a few red flags obviously and the one girl I was worried about was the one throwing the party oh yeah that sucks yeah yeah and then when I got to

the party finally her shirt was like hanging below her bra and so I was just being nice and moving it up and she yelled at me for that she was like don't look out for my modesty and I was like okay um and we're like all theater people so we're dramatic as fuck so i was just like okay whatever like yeah um we had a couple of conversations about it and i did say like it is kind of weird to me that you have this like friendship with this girl and you're kind of like secretive when you text her and you're you have like a nickname for her in your phone and he kept deflecting deflecting saying like well we're just friends we're just friends and then a month later he breaks up with me so this was all like in February and then he breaks up with me in March

uh like three days before the episode had aired oh oh gosh yeah so when I watched that episode I was like oh great awesome uh yeah so he breaks up with me and says he wants to like explore his sexuality he doesn't feel the same way about me blah blah blah and I was like you I can't stop you from breaking up with me and you just figured something out about yourself that's like kind of something you need to explore so I'm just gonna go ahead and let you do that um obviously like it was really heartbreaking but I wanted to let him you know explore and give him the benefit of the doubt like I asked him was it for a person did you break up with me for a specific person and he said no and that girl had been messaging me through Instagram like even after the breakup

we were just talking about mundane things uh masked in the heights for some reason um and then uh in like June of that year I went to go look at her profile to see if she was moving somewhere because uh they had just graduated and uh she didn't show up so she had blocked me and his best friend lives with me so I asked him I was like why did what's her face block me and he go he just like basically told me everything and so I messaged him and I'm like dude, you lied to me. And, um, literally he did not want to talk about it. He was like, I don't have time for this. I don't need to talk about this with you. I'm tired. And I was like, you literally said, we are going to be friends after this. And you have kept your word up until

a certain point. And I think it's because what's her face told you, you cannot be friends with me. Um, and so I was like, we can't be friends. Like, 100 we're not gonna be friends you dumped me for this girl that i was worried about i asked you you lied about it it's one thing to like leave me for somebody but to say we can stay friends when you leave me for somebody somebody you know too like and somebody we both know it's like no i'm not gonna stay friends with you not to i don't want to interrupt your flow but so what did his friend what did your roommate say like when you asked him like did he say like oh they're dating or what did he say about your ex and this girl so he kind of acted like he didn't know what

was going on at first your roommate his best friend yeah okay he was like oh well i don't know like i think they're just like kind of good friends and then i was like no show me her instagram there's a reason she blocked me and it was a picture of them at the beach which by the he fucking hates the beach it's like that lord song you say you love the beach i know you're you're a damn liar you know yeah see exactly yeah he hates the beach i can never get him to go with me and so it's like of course they're dating if he's at the beach with this girl yeah like what what else would he be there for so yeah he he eventually told me the truth because like he wanted to look out for his friend but he also like loves me yeah so he was like okay like i'm not

gonna lie to you but it was also none of his business so I don't blame him for kind of wanting to hold back a little bit yeah so eventually like I don't know what happened between I basically told him like we can't be friends and then another one of our friends had invited me to uh some like zoom party thing and I just like and my ex-boyfriend wasn't there and I just like over the zoom call was like breaking down crying and so we like went out to a breakout room and he was like asking me what are what is going on like why are you crying and I like told him the whole thing and he said that he had talked to my ex-boyfriend this random friend had talked to my ex-boyfriend and said that he wanted to still be friends with me and that this

girl wasn't that serious because she was moving to Hawaii we're in like California so Hawaii that's really far is she like a native Hawaiian no and there's more about that so she's she's she's a current debt current time colonizer for sure got it got it current time colonizer colonizer and then um so basically after I told him this I um I texted my ex and said like look we were together for three years and like friends before that I want to at least like try to be friends um and I brought up that he had cheated um like whether it was physically or emotionally it was still cheating in my mind uh and he went off on me and so I just stopped talking to him and then I found out a week later he had broken up with this girl because

he told her uh what i had said and she was like you need to you need to cut her off you need to block her you need to um you need to tell her like to fuck off and me who didn't really do anything wrong um was like okay yeah and so he broke up with her because she was like trying to control his life and she made him go to the beach yeah and he hates the beach what a bitch uh so they break up and then I'm trying to move out of my parents house into like some uh I don't know it doesn't matter so I'm trying to move and I didn't have anybody to help me move and so I was like yo you should help me move and then so like as he's like helping me move he tells me the entire story of like how they dated and all of that stuff and the only thing that stuck

out to me was that like in the area she was living um there was a BLM protest going on and she was freaking out about it like not in a good way she was like I can't believe they're coming over here that's so crazy like I don't want them to burn down my house and I was like Why would you be with somebody like that? And he's like, yeah, like she was low-key racist. Yeah. And backtrack to the party, he's Latinx. And there was another Spanish speaker at her party.

And she like went over to him while I was standing right there and was like, such and such, come say hi to my friend who can speak Spanish to him. oh my god so like he's such secondhand i know it's disgusting what she sounds like a handful she does oh i know i mean i think like this like to me scream like going it goes all back to your original call like he doesn't know how to be friends with women and like i think even him breaking up with that girl i think that like that to me is also kind of like i can't be friends with women because this a friend would call you out on your not that like him being friends with you was like bullshit or anything like that but the fact that he can't be just

friends with girls applies when you guys were in a relationship to the girls that he was friends with and then when he's in a relationship with someone else it also applies to the people that he's saying he's friends with even if it's like an ex like he just he can't be friends he can't be friends with women he can only see them in like a romantic kind of way and it applies like obviously it's like it and i don't think it's like i don't think it would make me feel better in any sense of it that like the if i was dating him the female friends that he had he had a hard time seeing them just as friends but even when you break up he has a hard time seeing you as just a friend and like he needs he I know you said he's in therapy but he needs way more he stays in

yeah so like after after we were all vaccinated and everything like a month or so ago I went to lunch with him and we were just talking about um like what we're gonna do when the world kind of goes back to normal when like most people are vaccinated and the dude starts crying because he and this is really sad like I feel bad for him but like he's got some slight issues just being around people in general like he gets angry and I was the one of the only people that he said that to like he spoke to about that because he hasn't been going to therapy because he lost his insurance okay yeah so he needs to go back yeah I mean that girl like had nothing to worry about though. Cause like, I'm not an idiot though. Like I'm not going to get back

with somebody, even if we've been together for three years, I'm not going to get back with somebody who broke up with me to be with someone else. Well, I mean, how you get them is how you lose them. So regardless of like, I think the logic, the logic like goes out of her brain at that moment because they, like you said, they definitely, whether it was like physical or emotional um or anything like it it happened during your relationship with her so she without a doubt doesn't feel that secure in her relationship because she's like if you did it with me you'll do it to me and i think that like it's an easy target to think of like the ex like that especially when personally if i i would my biggest advice is like don't be friends with him like there's like

there's no need for any of that and i think that for her if she sees like holy fucking shit like this girl definitely knows that like shit happened while we were together and she's still cool being friends with him i don't think that has any reflection on her feelings towards you i think it has everything about her feelings towards him being like oh god you treated her like like you fucked her over in this situation and she's still like being your friend like you definitely are still hooking up with her on the side like how like not in like any like slight to you but i think like all of it is on him you know oh yeah 100 and like uh in my original update i was like oh yeah he's gonna produce my album um because i gave him voice lessons when he was doing his album

and uh while we were dating so they were free oh and so i'm like dude you gotta you gotta like pay me back somehow and produce my album for me and uh last night i was hanging out with my best best friend for the first time in literally forever and I was kind of um breaking down everything that happened and then like how he's currently acting because he's doing the same thing he did when we were together like and um basically he is playing me hot and cold in on a friendship level like we'll be good we'll have like multiple conversations and then just like all of a sudden And he's ignoring my messages, um, which is what happened when we were in a relationship. And so I'm like, I'm not going to go through that again with the same guy on a friendship

level. I am worth way more than how this person is treating me. And, um, I decided like, from this point on, I'm not friends with him. I'm not going to reach out to him. I'm going to be cordial because his best friend still lives with me, but then he's moving out in like a month. So I have zero reason to talk to this person at all. And I'm just going to produce my own album.

I'm not going to use anybody else. Like just let me muscle my skills because that was like also for him. So he could work out his skills and producing because I can do my own stuff. Like I don't need him. I just wanted to help him out and learn. You've got a really good like sense of perspective now in all of this and being like not going to be friends anymore. This is a timeline.

This is going to be done and all of that kind of stuff. But I do think that probably part of the reason, if you haven't already thought of this yourself, but part of the reason you wanted to maintain a friendship with him afterwards is you had said that you both had been friends before you were dating. And then having him say, I can't ever really see my female friends as just friends. There's always something else there. That kind of invalidates your entire friendship you had before you were dating. And that can be a very sucky thing to hear that it's like, oh, surface level friendship.

even if like you had a crush on him or like whatever like you want like when a relationship goes from friendship to a relationship the base of a relationship is friendship and when it can kind of feel a little bit slighted when someone says like oh yeah it can I would if it was me I might feel like oh wow so you just like you necessarily want to be my friend this whole time like you were friendly to me because you like wanted to like get together and it was like flirtatious and it never went away and then maintaining a friendship afterwards I think for me it would have been me trying to like really validate and prove that we did have a friendship and it was like it was different and it was like i know he's not friends like we had the real

friendship that turned into like a relationship and all of that and i think that like i think it's totally possible that you had a very real and honest true friendship then and that his statement of saying like i don't know how to just be friends with girls can be like that doesn't invalidate your relationship or anything like that i think that that's something that i think it's a really shitty way of saying i'm letting you know i'm probably going to become unfaithful to you and i want to make sure i've given you this kind of vocal warning so i can throw it back in your face afterwards but if you ever felt at any point i don't want to put this in your head if you're like yeah no i never thought about it now i am but like if it did ever feel like it was invalidating

a friendship that to me like that statement of his i don't even necessarily think it's like a real moment of honesty I think it is literally like when shitty dudes say certain things to then throw back in your face when they inevitably live up to like the incredibly low standard that they said that they're going to perform at oh yeah it took the dude a year to like finally take accountability for what happened yeah I'm just like it wasn't me I didn't do a goddamn thing wrong like I was there for you I pushed you to go to therapy like when I tell you I pushed him I was in tears by the way I was like yeah and I should no one should ever be in a relationship like that where your partner is in such a rough mental state and they refuse to go to therapy

and you're the one who pushes them like that should be their responsibility yeah you seem like you're in such a good place now and that you've had a lot of perspective and like in the relationship you had perspective to it was just it's just him he's just not who you need to be with and it sounds like he doesn't need to be with anyone at this point anyway but i'm glad that you have realized everything just like on a friendship level too that you're ready to move on yes thank you guys so much for hearing me of course that's like it's a lot i can imagine that's like a lot to go through especially like this is like really like been an entire like saga through the pandemic like it that it's a it's a lot to deal with and i can't even imagine like having your roommate be a

close friend of yours but also like his best friend like it is our biggest advice is always like cut cut cut that person off but it is like hard and i think you've done like a really great job throughout all of this and like it's great to hear at the end of this that like you're like no boundaries like he's moving out not going to be friends cutting this off like i think that's like a really strong and great thing to do that i can imagine was really fucking hard especially in the midst of a fucking pandemic yeah that's still going on by the way it's very much oh my gosh yeah everybody in la is currently getting covid so yeah it's brutal brutal brutal yep i just go to work and go to my car and go home yeah valid i just stay inside all day

all day well thank you so much for giving us the update and i did want to say though i don't know if you know this but the last that episode that we recorded with becca was our literal last episode we recorded before the pandemic where we like stayed at home and all of that stuff so like i remember that episode vividly yeah so you're very much like so the timeline full circle right and the timeline even though it was like weeks later for you like that was the beginning of the pandemic for us so like this I yeah I can totally see that timeline crystal clear yeah yeah honestly I feel like on a spiritual level like it was meant to happen this way like the beginning of the pandemic right after we break up and then like right after I figure out like

I don't want to be friends with this dude at all I don't want him in my life is when we do the update yeah no it's perfect and I'm so happy for you in this clarity and you're gonna have such a better relationship like the next person that you end up dating whenever that is it's going to be like because when you could have a really shitty one you're like i have no tolerance for any of this like it's going to be great yes yes well cool well thank you so much you did a great job nothing to be worried about no not at all to be i know you were being vulnerable but thank you for opening up of course we love to see growth during a pandemic but damn lots of people yeah i love how many people are cutting other people out of their lives too well when you're stuck you realize yeah

who's got to stay and who's got to go yeah i've been doing i was gonna say you've been trimming the fat of your of your of your people i have i mean what was it that you i mean it's a phrase that both of us use all the time but you specifically we always say like other people consider us best friends we're like we're not but you said the last time we were talking about it um you were like i realized how many people consider me close friends that i consider acquaintances i was like savage yeah i mean it's true it's true so many people like i have to see you now that we're vaccinated i'm like do you i'm only reserving that for people that like i actually consider a friend because it's just it's still risky so i've got like

three more people that i'm seeing before i go back into my hole it's a smart move i don't know if there's anyone i weirdly have realized i haven't seen lily but i talk to lily all the time and we facetime all the time and i'm like oh yeah we haven't seen each other in person but i think i will see her in a month that's like the only person i haven't physically seen yeah yeah oh what a time um but let's take a break now okay we're gonna take a quick break a pick break a quick break and we'll be right back We are back from our break, and we're going to get into the rest of the calls. It's my Russian accent.

Well, should we get into the rest of the episode? Let's do it. Hi, Megan and Melissa. I'm a 23-year-old, and my pronouns are she, her, and I live with my boyfriend, who is also 23. We met in college and have been together for four years. We moved in together in his home city of Boston in 2020 and have recently left our apartment for a new lease in a building in our same neighborhood. When we moved in together in 2020, his mom signed a lease in the same building as us. We were both okay with this at the time because it was a very large high-rise, and she was not on the same floor as us.

The building was in the same neighborhood she had been living in for about seven years and was one of the nicest buildings in the area. Plus, she's single, and it was nice having my mother-in-law nearby since I'm over six hours away from my family. His mom now wants to move out of the old building and into the same building my boyfriend and I just moved into. She secretly reached out to our broker and signed a lease for an apartment on the same floor as us. She told my boyfriend this after the fact, and he was really upset about it.

He told me living in the same building as her once was weird enough, but now he feels like she's following him around. She claims she didn't realize the apartment was in the same tower of the building complex as us, but I find that hard to believe since we've had her over our apartment before and the other tower in this complex has a different street number. She didn't even tour this apartment. She just signed the lease and provided checks to the broker without seeing it in person. My boyfriend and I don't know what to do.

We both agree that her moving down the hall from us is way too much and that we need our personal space. However, his mom is going through a hard time. She's been divorced for over 15 years. she left her old job in 2020 and hasn't been able to get a new one since and both of her kids have moved on with their lives my boyfriend does everything he can to help her he's helped her complete job applications he's trying to help her find other apartments that are equally as nice as the one in our building and he even lets her borrow the car he bought since she had to sell her car he already has so much stress going on in his life from his job it's unfair for him and i

to have even more stress at a dawn she's also very upset that we've been spending a lot of time with his dad and his other kids how do we convince her not to move in with us without hurting her feelings thank you guys so much love the podcast i mean if she wants to get her feelings hurt she's gonna get her feelings hurt what do you mean like in her mind there is no way that you do this without being like i think it's very unlikely that she's going to be like oh my gosh i had no idea that this would be over like overstepping like i'm so sorry like blah blah blah i think she made the conscious decision value like knowing that it's like uncomfortable for them and is like no i want to do this and i think that like it is a pretty obvious overstepping

boundaries oh 100 and i think she knows that too and i think that like the nerve that you have to do to kind of do that at least in my mind as someone who like who knows that because i think if she would have asked and had a conversation like that would have been more like i want to hear you out like i want to hear how you would feel about that so i don't necessarily think there's anything you can do aside from like make sure you're not like a raging asshole but i think like she's gonna get her feelings hurt because like she consciously made a choice that like will and like it's highly likely to hurt her own feelings yeah i mean she reached out to your broker which i think is a little odd she reached out to the broker she knew exactly

what she was doing um and she didn't tell you guys that she was doing it like surprise i mean at this she's already signed the lease like there's nothing really you can do except for set boundaries about like if she's gonna stop over like unannounced or she could tag depending on how long it's been like you can pull out of a lease like if it's i don't think she's going to no and i think that like yeah i mean i guess that's hard because then at the same time like i think the thing you have to say is like it has to i think like the best way to go about it is like obviously padding it with like we love you we love spending time with you like we enjoyed um there were parts of like living so living in the same building before that we

really enjoyed with you um but we would really love to have like our own kind of our own kind of like space in a way that extends past just our apartment and like we want to be able to like have you over all the time and like do dinners and like that kind of stuff um and it feels like a little uncomfortable we wish you would have talked to us first before moving in here like it feels a little it doesn't really feel great to know that like you kind of went behind our backs to do this thing that like does also affect our lives and we obviously like want what's best for you. And, um, I think maybe it's one of those things you could say, like, we, it's not necessarily fair of us to ask you to like, go back on this lease. We obviously don't

want to put you at a financial place like that, but like, if that is possible, we'd love to be able to find a different place for you to live that you like equally as much, which just sounds like your boyfriend is already doing. Um, but if you decide to live in this building, like we need to establish some really clear boundaries. And maybe if you say that, like you said, like if you establish those clear boundaries maybe she won't want to live in the exact same building yeah i'm just imagining her popping up for dinner or telling you that she made dinner and just like well living in the same expecting you to always be there or she can always come over on the same floor like that's yeah that's like college dorms yeah and that's like not okay and

i think that like i understand having especially as you like the partner it's not your parent but like i understand having being understanding that she's like gone through a lot and all of that kind of stuff but um her moving on the same floor as her kid and his long-term girlfriend wife or whatever does not help her i think she thinks it does but like that boundary setting and like that space is healthy for both of you like she's not going to be able to get out there and like become more independent and like find things that like she's just what she's doing and obviously don't fucking say this to her but like she is reverting back to she no longer has the wife role that she had after her kids moved out and she's now trying to revert back to a mom role

well because she was married because it's been like 15 years didn't she say that it's but i would assume that like it was you know if they got she was they were she was married for a while so she was like the she was a wife role and then she had kids and she was a mom role and then her kids needed her up into a certain extent and then the marriage was done she didn't have the mom the wife role anymore and so even though her kids are grown she's reverting back to like okay let me step in like i am like the mom roles like you're and she's young again yeah she also isn't working either so she doesn't have that much to do yeah and like it's just it's not it's just regressive for like everyone and it's just going to cause more tension and i think if like your

boyfriend says that to her where it's like i love you but i'm really afraid you being this close is going to really hurt our relationship and i don't want that like i want this like if you are deciding to live here we need to like really set some clear boundaries because like i don't want this to hurt our relationship further and like that's hopefully not what she wants either but like yeah there just needs to be like some like why didn't you say anything to us like some communication surprise yikes i also want to know if you're like broker like did she say what floor she wanted to live on or did she ask like what floor do you live on like to him that and if that's the case you gotta have a word with your broker too

yikes but yeah that's stressful also yeah like you're right because she's not working so and it's like no matter where you are like a lot of people are still working from home a good chunk of the time so it's a lot of home you know and mandates are probably going to be she's going to be in their pod yeah i think the thing is like that needs to be addressed with her is like the you didn't tell us this because she knew she was doing it she didn't even go look at the apartment because she knew it already knew what it looked like and i think the reason why she didn't tell you is because she knew it's kind of crazy and like she wants it's like at uh ask for forgiveness don't ask for permission i mean like it's that kind of thing

this is it's manipulative and like i think that like i get that she's going through a hard time But, like, that doesn't excuse, like, being manipulative to, like, your kid and that shit. Oh, well, best of luck. I hope that. I think if you go into it with the intention of not trying to hurt her feelings, that's, like, the best way to, like, not hurt her feelings. But she kind of hurt her own feelings by putting herself in this position. Should we get on to the next? Let's do it.

Hey, Megan, Melissa. I love the podcast. Basically, I'm calling in because I'm not sure if my boyfriend emotionally cheated on me and what I should do next. Short version of the story is we lived together for a period with some other friends when we were at school. My pronouns are she, her, and I'm almost 20. His pronouns are he, him. His other girl's pronouns are she, her. We'll call her Annie. And we lived together in the fall. It was great. We fell in love. We did long distance. He's about two hours away. I don't go back to school because I'm working. He chooses to go back to school for this semester, and he starts hanging out with Annie. I got a little bit of weird vibes, but I

just didn't think about it. Then two weeks later, Annie tells my boyfriend that she likes him. Apparently, she's a little drunk, but I don't have any way to verify that. Then he waits a week to tell me when I'm in person. I say that it makes me uncomfortable, but I'm worried about not being like a chill person, I guess. And so I kind of just let it go. They go on to hang out almost every single day during the semester. And then at the end of the semester, she says that she still likes him. So they decide not to talk. At this point, I've made it clear that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Then a couple, three weeks later, let's say he visits me. She swipes up on a Snapchat story and says, hey, why didn't you tell me you were there? If you would have told

me you could have come over to my house for a sleepover I told him this makes me extremely uncomfortable and he needs to stop talking to her immediately which he tells me he does then about a week ago he tells me that she reached back out to him they had a 15 minute normal conversation and then she told him that she's in love with him and has been and can't stop thinking about him then he was supposed to visit me so he comes anyway and at this point I feel really really terrible and he says that she tried to kiss him at the end of the semester which he didn't tell me about until just now right now we're on a break and I told him that he has a lot of personal growth to do and he knows that but I'm just wondering am I being too forgiving I still

love him but I don't know if I should but I really do my friends have given me a lot of different advice so i'm really interested to see what you guys have to say also we're all going back to school in the fall thank you so much bye i mean right off the bat i will say like you can regardless of whether or not like our advice is going to be like stay or leave that doesn't negate if you still love him or not and like the whole concept of like not to be like cheesy but like love isn't rational like people you can love people who like do really shitty things and like have hurt you but that doesn't mean that it doesn't like erase your feelings towards them but it also doesn't have to mean that because you love him like that's the sign that you have to like stay

together um this boy is shady as fuck he is can i just say the one thing that really jumps out to me she tried to kiss me no not even that what was when we looked the casual one where we could have had a sleepover that you don't just drop that casually as a one-time thing this has happened before yeah he slept over with her before more than one time yeah this is like I think that I also think like, if he and this is like, I'm going to be talking on his character right now. But like, I think if he was a really good guy, and he found out that his close friend had feelings for him, he would be like, I need to separate myself from this because I see he was a really great friend. And I don't want to confuse you. And I don't want to make that uncomfortable

for you or make it any harder for you. And in doing that, I am going to really invest a ton in my relationship because let's be honest, most of the time, people who are falling for other people, it's not out of the blue. You're getting like signs or hints that like, and especially like telling someone that like, if you're going to tell your friend who's in a relationship that you have feelings for them, it's not usually because you think that they're not going to say like have anything back. It's usually because they've given some indicator or like, I don't want to say like led them on but like kind of opened up that door a little bit to make it seem like a possibility because that's like a pretty embarrassing thing to just like say to someone

without knowing that they might feel that way back so if he was a good guy he would have been like i need to separate myself from you so you can like move past this i don't want to hurt you and then i need to spend more time focusing on my girlfriend and myself because i have inadvertently given off some sort of vibes or on purpose to someone who has made it seem like i am also interested in them and i need to figure out my own shit but he didn't do that they stayed being friends and like he's waiting to tell you in person later and all of this stuff like from what you're regurgitating what he sounds like a negative word but like you are retelling what he has told to you and everything's about her and he told the best possible version of what happened

and it's she did everything yeah she told me that she likes me she tried to kiss me she did this she did that but like they're hanging out like every single day she's not is she stalking him does he have a restraining order because like otherwise like he's showing up there too he wants to he either likes the attention

yeah he likes the attention he really likes the attention he knows how she feels about him and he's doing enough where she felt comfortable enough to try and kiss him

And I think if he was this upset about what was going on, every time that something happened, one, he would, like you said, be putting distance in between the two of you. And then two, I don't care if he's waiting to see you in person. He should have told you like he could have FaceTimed you. Yeah. And this is like you said, this is the girl that you've worried about. Like this is the one. and i think that like a lot of the time we focus on like the other woman in this situation or whatever and like mostly like men intentionally doing that be like she tried to blah blah blah

but like you said like he gave her an opportunity and signs that made her feel like she was in the right place to try and kiss him and he stayed the night at her place i also think that i'm gonna be this sucks to hear i'm gonna say 99 of the time when someone says she tried to kiss me it just means we kissed i don't know anyone who's like been like i was like i'm friends with lots of women I don't anyone's like I tried to kiss him and he shut me down it's like oh no we kissed like and I think that like he is he like you said he likes the attention of this and he is not shutting down her enough in a way that has made you feel comfortable at all and I think that like it's made her feel very comfortable which to me leads to your original

thing that like yeah i think it's either i think there's a high i think it's without a doubt emotional shooting but i think there's a high chance you like physically cheated too which like obviously sucks to hear but your instincts from the start have been very spot on and you guys being long distance and him spending time with her like that should have been like extra cognizant to make sure that you feel safe like whatever and like this does come from like we are too i am i am friends with like dudes who have girlfriends and like there is a certain way that you act and you respect their relationship even though there is like i would like rather like cut off my own arm than fucking kiss any of my guy friends but like there is still a way

there's a very respectful way of still being friends with him without making well i mean even that but like he knows that she has feelings for her yeah difference is like with the guy friends that we're friends with that have girlfriends like we're not we don't have that's what i mean in the sense that like this is like that's how a female like a like a guy girl like female man woman relationship platonically should go and there is no chance that feelings would ever develop because neither party is interested like the fact that her feelings have developed is because it was cultivated in an environment where like that was an acceptable thing also because like from what it seems like you also know her and like that to me is just

equally shady because it's sense it typically means that this person has the person that you are in a relationship with in that sense has talked about your relationship in a way that makes it seem like it is it's belittling it or like that is inviting someone else to come in and all of that shit but i don't think i mean we can't tell you to like what to do or what not to do but i think the thing is is like if you're going to forgive him you have to believe him and i don't think you do and i don't think you should because i think he's lying yeah you have the inkling already you guys are on a break whatever that means yeah um listen to the update that we had yeah um and i think that will also give you a lot of uh things to let simmer yeah

because forgiving someone is knowing that the action knowing the all of the actions that they've done working through it and deciding that you can forgive them and move past it this is basically being like please suspend disbelief that any of this this is all in your head blah blah blah and just ignore it and that like in the update you'll hear like that is that will eventually the rose colored glasses will come off and it will be like a death drop versus like a slow wade into it yeah but this sucks i'm so sorry um and uh i hope i hope it all goes well and i hope you give us an update and like you're thriving and everything's great and you know not to put my own two cents in there i hope he's on the picture okay yeah hey megan and melissa um

I'm 22, my pronouns are she, her, and my boyfriend is also 22, pronouns he, him. So we've been together for about four years now. We went to the same college. It was a small school, and we both did track together, and we just spent a lot of time together, a lot of nights in each other's dorms sort of thing. He actually ended up getting a job and admissions at our college, and I'm staying at the school another year to get my master's. so this being said we decided that we were going to move in together um the two of us plus my

friend her pronouns are she her the three of us were going to be roommates and get a two-bedroom that we could split you know and have cheap rent um but he ended up needing to move into a place in the summer because that's when his job started versus the two of us didn't need to be anywhere until august so he kind of came to me with the idea of him just creating a studio and me and my friend getting our own place at first this did honestly kind of hurt my feelings because you know the three of us had plans to move in together and I was getting excited to kind of start a life with him but after explaining it to me further how you know kind of made sense for him to go ahead and find a place and he kind of wanted his own space I ended up you know understanding and being okay

with that um fast forward however I know that um with August coming you know the two of us got our own place but I know that he's going to be working full-time nine to five and grad school most of my classes are going to be night classes so we just don't have as much time to spend together as we did in undergrad also he's kind of more social and outgoing and he's totally fine with just hanging out on the weekends and going on dates and that sort of thing, versus I'm a lot more shy and kind of like a homebody. So I kind of would just prefer to, like, be able to come home to him sort of thing. And I feel like after dating four years, I don't want to just go on dates.

Like, I'm kind of looking for a next step sort of thing. But I'm still, at the same time, not mad at him for finding his own place. Also, we're not wanting to get engaged anytime soon. I didn't think you guys were going to suggest that since I'm only 22 but I live in the south and a lot of people I know are getting married right now but we've talked and both of us aren't really

looking for that anytime soon at least but like I said I do think after being together for four years I kind of do want a next step but I don't know what that would be other than moving together or getting married and you know he's kind of content where we are

but he'd probably be open to suggestions So if you had any, that'd be great. Also, I am a Pisces moon, so I can be a little sensitive. Anyway, thanks so much. Love the podcast. I think the next step is where you are now is dating or being together outside of like post-grad. Like that's a whole step in itself because now you're, I mean, he has a job. Now you're like in grad school. Situations and circumstances of college, they're not the same anymore. and so the next step is like you going into adulthood yeah i believe no i fully agree

because like the next step is balancing his full-time work schedule and you being in grad school like that is that is it i think that like there are only so many steps in a relationship and i think the step that you want is moving in together there's not like an alternative or like an in-between or like something else that like you haven't thought of that we're going to be able to tell you it is moving in together and i think that like what you need to do is evaluate do you want to be in this relationship because it seems like you are ready for that next step and he's not and that's okay and like that can be something that like we're not always on like the exact same plan and path and trajectory like all of the time but i do think it is important

to have a conversation that's not like when you talk about like getting engaged on either of us want that like in the future blah blah blah and maybe those conversations are more specific when you're having them but like does he see wanting to move in together in like a year like is there like a plan like is there something that like is going to happen or is it kind of like college dating can be really casual and like then you're going into like the real world and like it is like actual adulthood so because the college is kind of just like glorified high school yeah i mean it's high school in some cases away from your parents yeah without rules and i think that like like you said like the adulthood dating is the step but i think you do need to check in

and be like um i think that logically obviously like he had to move into his own place i also would say like i really would not not recommend moving in with your partner and yes i'm so glad i thought that was going to be where this call ended and i'm so glad that it's not that that he's getting his own place which to me makes sense if he's like working and stuff and then you guys are still in school i think that makes total sense from what he wants right now well and i think that like moving in with your partner and a roommate is not the next step yeah like moving in with your partner and getting your own place together where it's just you two that would be the next step eventually but if like financially you need to have a third person in there to do it

don't do it like i honestly don't think that you guys should live together until after you're done with school yeah because you're it's college is a massive commitment and then like it's hopping from like thing to thing to thing and like you both need to like understand your independence of like being adults and um it doesn't like negate like the importance of your relationship or anything like that but it's probably again because you said you're in the south and people get engaged really quickly right out of college and all of that stuff that it might feel like keeping up with the Joneses. Like you, you want to take the next steps, like prove something to people, but like, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. And, um, you just have to keep that line

of communication there because there is a chance that you aren't on the same page. And he might be like, I don't want to move in together for like at least three years. And if that's not what you want, then you're like, then that's like, okay, I don't want that. I would like to, I'm done with this relationship. I'm going to like meet someone else. I like, I want to do that because also the thing that like i think it's fine like to have like a homebody versus someone who like goes out or whatever but like like i think you really want to play house and like because you're like i don't really want to go on dates i want to like be at home and stuff and that doesn't work if you have like a third roommate friend like that sucks for them at all i think this is like a great call for

him to have a studio and like you can kind of play house when you're spending the night there because like it doesn't seem like he has roommates and then you can still have your own space with like your friend living together and all of that and you guys are on opposite schedules too because you're going to school at night this seems like the best setup i think because you haven't started school yet i think let this play out and see this is the next step and just see how things go yeah that's exactly it and then i think if like after this like and you want to talk to him about it which i think you should talk about like the timeline for what you guys want and then let him know like that your feelings were if your feelings are still hurt after that time and you

still feel like that then have that conversation with him about it but i think that you're probably going to realize in a bit that like this is actually like really good for your relationship um and yeah it's like another exciting part because like at college too like if you think about it like especially if you were like living on campus because you said you spent the night in his dorm all the time and all of that stuff like it's like dating someone at camp or whatever it's like really comfortable and then you're like oh we're out in like the real world now like we're getting to do this and like we're doing this and like you're gonna pick me up for my date and it's not just like walking to my dorm room and like i'm not just wearing like my college sweatshirt

like we're getting ready and we're going out somewhere we're doing i mean you know safely or like he's coming over and like you want to make sure the place looks all cute like it is it's in its own step and i think also like those milestones and relationships and all that also um they are they need to be separate from your own personal milestones and graduating colleges and like going to grad school and all that stuff like you are dealing with a lot of personal milestones and it's not the time to have in my opinion to like throw relationship steps on yep there on top of it yep you're doing your personal shit but i think in like a solid i think you're right in a solid like three months two months you're gonna be like wow this was like what it should have been yeah

well let us know I hope we were right hi Megan and Melissa so I am currently 25 years old I go by she and her and I am from Canada which is an important part of this story so just as like reference I am in a PhD program I'm very feminist and I am very liberal so my father he currently lives in Florida he remarried when I was younger and he's been living in Florida for many many years and it's not an issue except that he's developed very right-wing kind of attitudes and this is a problem for me because I am not obviously and he is currently refusing to get the COVID vaccine. And I of course have it. I've been double vaxxed for a while now and my dad is just refusing to get it because he just doesn't understand and he's not educated on

it and he doesn't see the point. So I've tried talking to him. I told him months ago that I would not see him unless he was vaccinated. Just because that is my way of life. I don't really want to associate with those who aren't vaccinated just for my health and for other people's health that I care about. So I've been telling him this and every time I talk to him, he still is not vaccinated. Well, tonight I called him again and he is still refusing to get vaccinated. And I made it very clear that I will not be seeing him unless he is vaccinated and that I completely disagree with his position on it and to the point where I said that I'm not even comfortable keeping a relationship with him or talking to him until he gets it. He basically responded with saying I'm

bullying him into getting it and that I'm not being understanding of his view, which I understand like where he's coming from, but as my father, he is not able to see his children who live in Canada because of the border and that's not a good enough reason for him to get it. So I'm struggling a lot with this and I need advice of what I should do. am i being too harsh by cutting him out and giving him this ultimatum or i don't know i i just need help so thank you i mean you know how we feel about an anti-vaxxer yep and almost the entire state of florida yep if my brother's listening not you but i do not know why you live in florida

uh um i don't really know what you need advice on because i think that you're doing everything that you should be doing um he doesn't seem to care enough about himself or you or your the rest of your i guess she has siblings she said um to get vaccinated um and there's only so much arguing that you can do with people that don't want to get vaccinated i think because you said that he was uneducated on the information all that you can do at this point is just share factual data with him and if he doesn't read it that's on him yeah i mean i honestly think that like i think you're going about this in the best way possible because i i think that for a lot of first of all you're not you're not bullying no and i think the

caller knows that no totally but like i just like sir you're a father your child is not bullying you um no but i think honestly cutting off contact with him is a really like smart and strong thing to do because I think that like, and I have friends who have parents who are refusing to get vaccinated and they've shared as much information as they can. They've done all of that stuff and they had to get to a no contact point because like, it's so emotionally draining and taxing and it's, it's like low key kind of like being in a toxic relationship. Like it's, you are putting all of this forth into it you're just getting hostility back you're getting like anger back and like all of this kind of stuff with like a parent and like

in those cases um you need to prioritize your own mental health first and it sounds like you've gone to a point where it's like i can't talk to him about this anymore and i think you're calling into a podcast of two people who are like so pro-vaccine because you you want us to validate your feelings and your choices and like we're validating you're doing everything right sweetie you're doing amazing sweetie doing everything that like i would do in this situation and i think it really sucks um especially coming from a parent and i'm sure it feels like um really hurtful and i think that in separating yourself from him and putting that space between you you're able to kind of

mourn the loss of a parent you thought wouldn't let you down and you're able to kind of process that and deal with that and that's pretty impossible to do while you're still in the thick of it with him and but I'm sure there's probably like a good deal of like

literature and like shit written about um the like cutting out people like anti-vaxxers and like parents and that kind of stuff online i would definitely like look into that kind of stuff and if you're not in therapy and like talking about um that my therapist has told us that like that's like one of the things that like a lot of people are dealing with right now in the pandemic um because she like asked she's like are you everyone you know i was like oh yeah i'm good she's like oh great because that's like half of my sessions are about people who are dealing with friends or family who aren't getting vaccinated i will say that early in the pandemic which i've talked about quite frequently like in the early days on this podcast about how like my

dad was socializing a lot and i did bully him and you know what sometimes you do have to bully people to get them to do the right thing say it worked it worked it's like first in line to get a vaccine too so like get the fuck off my back now yeah exactly you're welcome no and I like I am I'm very similar we're very similar in that sense that like I'm going to be like I'm gonna be really honest I'm like really ruthless like I don't fucking stop but like there does get to be a point where everybody has their breaking point and it's also you know more than anybody if you are wasting your time and energy with someone who's like not receptive at all and uh it's also not it can be hard because like we hear like you have to do all this stuff like this is like

especially this time like your responsibility we're protecting other people responsibility when it is a relationship of someone who is this close to you it is not your responsibility to change his mind and make him see the right way and all that stuff if it sacrifices your well-being like there's only so much that you can do and the people who are the best people to talk to in like getting the vaccine are people who are like open to listening and if he's not open to listening i think like the conversation you have with him is like i'm not able to maintain contact with you like this hurts me a lot and like this is really hard it's really hard for someone who i love and like my dad to um not take this seriously and not do the steps necessary that

I need as your daughter to see you and I really don't want this to be a permanent thing and I understand if you are angry with me and I understand if you have felt like bullied and that has never been my intention my intention is keeping you safe and keeping everybody around me safe and um going off of like correct information and if you I hope the day comes soon but I will be waiting for the day that you reach out and you are ready to listen and you want to get educated and we can make the next steps into you getting a vaccine and we our relationship can move forward but until you are ready for that i'm pulling back but i i'm i am ready at any time that you are to take that step and put that ball in his court for that and then like just you really lay it on thick

like guilt trip the shit out of him with that i was like i really miss my daddy i mean daddy just always sounds sexual to me but like i really miss my dad like like lay it on fucking thick and guilt trip the shit out of him and then you'll see but it is also hard when he's in florida yeah wow um well best of luck apologies just know that a ton of people are going through this and um i hope he's able to get educated me too so that is it for our episode we don't have a don't blame them because you all called in a ton of times but for two episodes over and over and over again two calls yeah yeah that's it yeah two calls so everybody the call about the guy who was um twist pinching his um girlfriend's nipples without her consent

wife wife um said wife hopefully ex-wife if you are listening just know that you have dozens of people who would uh like to um have a conversation with your husband in the physical sense there's so many like like more than does it like okay yeah come from a couple dozen yeah you gotta just make the time and place yeah there's a lot of people who including us ready to go to bat for you and then the other one was the um the uh caller who was in college and felt like everybody else was ahead of her financially yes so just know that you are in the majority both of those people you've got a lot of support yeah aka our entire don't blame every single don't blame them as people uh hyping both of you up and validating both of you so that being

said um we don't have a don't blame them for this episode but we would love if you call in for other episodes leave don't blame them yeah um mix it up yeah maybe pick one where you're like i don't think people are going to call in about this oh yeah you can pick an old episode too it doesn't have to be a recent one yeah and that is it for our episode um if you want to call in leave us voicemail 310-694-0976 international listeners send us audio message at meganpodcast at gmail.com keep it under three minutes let us know your pronouns h and over have your parents permission and write it down and practice we are also available as a video version on patreon way waving hi to patreon hello we also do live streams twice a month they're really fun they're literally

just like zooms of us all hanging out we have a great time this past one's about the olympics yes and oh boy oh boy do i for a couple weeks in the year like dick that would have been my dick you hadn't gotten to your like oh runners dicks yet so that could have been part of it but it really could have been you know the olympics just like brings up a lot of questions to me mostly about the undergarments people with penises are wearing or not wearing yeah and also our cameramen they have to be doing it on purpose there was like well yeah but then they also so someone was also telling me that like you'll notice on like some things that they shoot from like um head like they have like more overhead angles because some people like who are again have

penises are wearing like looser running shorts and then they have nothing underneath yes and so like i'm like so do they have like do they send out the call sheet from the day before be like oh so and so from germany is not wearing anything like we have a full bush and dick inside like please keep that because it's live yeah i know but you can google like plenty of penises just that's what i mean like you can catch them and so like i just want to know what is the plan of like how does the conversation go with like the cameraman probably i think the cameraman probably know like they'll like radio into the director and be like hey dick bush out i wonder what they have like what they call it yeah because like there's like you know there's terms for everything

on sets and stuff through like camera yeah i wonder if there's like an actual code like you how there's like a you know 10-1 love it i'm gonna look it up um we are uh we have an instagram follow us we also made a tiktok yeah we got one of our videos taken down it's back now oh is it i did shocked i filed a like uh whatever you do to get it back see the only other times that i've had that happen it was for bullying for gooby hammer and it didn't come back and so my hopes were wow yeah mine too because i mean he said we were it said sexuality and nudity was why it got taken down and meanwhile megan and i are sitting there in long ass sweatshirts sweating like sweating her ass summertime sweatshirts yeah um speaking of sweatshirts our merch is we've got

our merch out um it's very cute wonderful as as it starts to get colder you can throw a sweatshirt on or just a summer sweatshirt where it puts some shorts on with it it's really cute or wear nothing underneath it live your best track and field life let your dick hang out um and we always have that like linked in the show notes and it's also on our instagram and all of that follow our own individuals buy my book uh my presets are out by the time this is out obviously my presets go get them and um anything you want to promote uh follow my instagram for my business uh diamond imprint productions there's no i in imprint it's just an m at least still she's a wordsmith it's very cute very you got you will see like wow damn most of us so much you do like me and my team you and your

team oh no of course but like you have like the booked and busy i'm is you yeah it's remarkable so if you're ever also looking because everyone always asks for all of their podcasts that you do you can see they're all there you can become a number one melissa stan follow everything you do um well that's it leave us a review and then we will see you all next time goodbye don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts and diamond imprint productions edited by coco lawrence post-production sound by chris henry Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. Music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.