Don't Blame Me! - S9E4: Weed Is Her Whole Personality

Episode Date: December 20, 2021

This week we're sharing advice on:  College experience FOMO Who should get the graduation tickets Having a crush on your classmate Breaking up with a "friend" Don't Blame Them: Forgiving Your Dad Buy our merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me    Subscribe to our new show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/but-am-i-wrong/id1591757891    Follow Us! @meghanrienks  www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa  www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa https://twitter.com/sheisnotmelissa @dontblamemepod   https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/   Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME.”   Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf    Need Advice?  www.dontblameme.show  Domestic Listeners Call: [phone]   International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [e-mail]    … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! WeI'll do our best to share our wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame us if we screw up your life. I kid! Our advice IS AMAZING. - Want to WATCH this episode as well? Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme   Join the Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbmsecretgroup Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of don't blame me starring the two grammy award winning oscar winning nobel peace prize winning pulitzer is it pulitzer pulitzer it's pulitzer as soon as it came out i regretted it your face i hope you're watching the video on as soon as i looked at you you're like oh that wasn't it we're fantastic award winning we've won awards on like like not just like ego like oh no beyond like we we fucking we crushed the i crushed the ego before i could walk like it was john legend wishes right does he have his yet yeah i think he might like double down like not double ego but he has multiple in most of the categories can you double eco if you do i mean yeah you could if you got one and every one again

then i would be like what like it's hard so shady uh yeah welcome to don't blame me we are an advice podcast where we give you you guessed it advice oprah gave out cars we tell you to dump your shitty fucking boyfriends you get a dump you get a dump you get a dump that's enough and seen If you want to call in for an upcoming episode, you can leave us a voicemail at 310-694-0976. And international listeners, you can send us an audio message at meganpodcasts at gmail.com.

Got to be 18 and over, have your parents' permission, write everything down, practice it because it has to be under three minutes. So we can make sure that it doesn't get cut off, not just by us, but it will literally be cut off on the phone number. So let us know the ages,

pronouns of everybody involved and as much detail as possible. and if you do a fantastic job you will get the much coveted award it's not an egot it is a diamond yeah and i also want to say i've been forgetting to give them out so if you feel like you deserved one then you can get like a honorary one for now and you can get a cubic zirconia if you ever call back and you do it again then i'll give you an actual one that's a good call okay what are you doing for the holidays we are going to colorado we leave a little bit later i think we don't even leave until a couple days before christmas because i have a doctor's appointment on the 20th where i

get the vibrator with a camera on the end of it shoved up my pussy and we get no pleasure absolutely not just like a lot of fucking lube the kind where you like walk you like waddle afterwards and you're like i like need to scoop it out of my vagina i'm like okay they're gonna give you one of the you know when you go to obgyn they give you one of those little wet wipes they're like here you go yeah and you're like here let me it's just awkward because you're like you know what i mean their hand has just been up there yeah so it's not even it shouldn't be awkward but they know as soon as they walk out that you're gonna be scoop scoop juices out of your vagina jelly just scooping it the fuck out so i have to do that i've done one before but like the

you have to do it on a full bladder so they can like see your like reproductive system my one of my biggest fears that i'm just gonna spray them with piss i'm gonna say one of the symptoms and like things of endometriosis and i mean it's a lot of other things so like if you have this it's not an indicator at all but can be like bladder inconsistency where it's like either like you don't have as much like control over your bladder but also like it doesn't ever feel like your bladder is like empty or always feels like your bladder is like really full so you know can have hard having piss cues being like do I really have to am I about to pee right now or am I not so I'm not looking forward to that part which it just sucks I think it's like 32 ounces

I have to drink and have in my bladder without having to pee immediately I know that's one of the reasons I don't really drink that much while we record because I have to pee so much yeah so So that's going to be there. And I also like, you know, stimulants make you like Adderall like makes you pee. And I can't like drive without my Adderall because like I'll crash my car. So I have to like time that out well that like I have my Adderall pee before I drink the 32 ounces because like, even if I haven't drank fucking anything and I take it, I have to pee. like i know it's kicked in when i really have to pee and like i'm gonna piss my fucking pan and so i'm like i can't do that again i mean not again but like i can't do that so that's why we're leaving a little bit later is that why you asked me when i was leaving so i could go with you no mott's already offered to go with me and i was like i'm i don't necessarily need you to come but if you like want to come and like you know i'm all about that if you like definitely you're

you would like to understand and be privy on but uh sydney and her fiancee are also going to be in because his family is from southern california and so they're going to like stop in la for a couple days before they go so i get to see her and she was like i can come and then my friend misa was like we can both go and i was like i don't need like a fucking like four people with me in here i was like yeah it's why not yeah i'm like i don't think they'll say yes it's a vagina party but yeah so that's my holiday plans and then when we go to colorado you know just like taking lots of pictures of me in the snow with my ring and just being like i'm engaged it's snowing i'm engaged and it's christmas like i'm engaged here's a tree oh it's so cold out here is that

the ice on my hand i will say though like i don't know how like kim kardashian or those celebrities who had like 15 to like 20 carat rings how they function because like this hand is heavier than this hand that's insane it you know what i mean i don't get it so what about you what are your holiday plans next week this is we're recording this before but this will come out after when i'm already in arkansas i'll be going to arkansas i'm excited to see my family i'm getting boosted on friday okay so you know yesterday when i was looking for appointments i was already getting queasy like bubble guts sweating but i know what i need to do yeah who's taking you allison okay yeah i want everyone to know that i'm not a horrible person for not taking her i just would

not be comforting in this situation no no no we would i said this before this would be the first time we would get in a fight if yeah because here's the thing i also do not like needles but i would overcompensate by like making jokes and i would be able to like half hold your hand and like look away and like somewhat talk you off a ledge but like not really and then i could see you'd like making faces and stuff no no no i am not the calming presence no no no no at all no allison's perfect she's very calming and talks about very simple things yes yeah she has a whole account called emotional support lady yes i don't like i'm a professional bitch like it's not it's not helpful that's the great thing about having a variety of friends you friends for

different things for different exactly i used to call those like target friends in high school i'm like this isn't a friend like this is a friend i'll go to target with and run errands with but like you know it's not not like a close close personal friend oh well i'm excited for you so it snows in arkansas yeah do you think it'll still warm now so probably not you know global warming yeah my dad asked me to get him some gloves for his birthday which was in october and then he asked me a couple weeks ago he's like why haven't you sent the gloves yet i was like because it's still hot there like i will send them when they get cold you don't need them yeah you don't need them can be like diane keaton though you know wear them all the time i could

see that for him hey you know i think once you get to a certain age like you should become eccentric because it's either that or you're like crotchety already too much i like it i'm into it i love that well yeah so we're here to tell you all that it's actually our last episode of the year so for the next two episodes we are going to re-put up some of like the most iconic episodes and like some of our personal favorites ones that like we know that you all love so we can take some time off for the holidays but you can also like go back and binge them all but i think it'll be fun to have like old ones re-uploaded especially if you've like missed certain ones we're including ones that have some of the most iconic calls that people are always like wait what episode is that

from again we think you will enjoy it and we appreciate everyone understanding because it's the holidays ho ho ho hoes be a fucking hoe this is the first year we're not dressing up for the both wearing winter white yes winter white because we're both virgins too it's virginal winter white here actually i am iced out for the holiday season and i'm naturally iced out diamond most i'm not truly we recorded the uh but am i wrong where we talk all about the engagement you've probably already heard but you haven't heard that episode go listen and this is the first like video patreon exclusive of my ring though should i like get up and show them you should i knew you wanted to i do i think my ring is like so much prettier in person and like

sparklier in person yeah and like you can't capture how much it sparkles like on video or in pictures that shows how much how real it is i know can pull out a trope from the 90s when they would have this isn't even real and then they'd like slice it on some glass and then it breaks because an actual diamond can cut glass and a real one can't oh and it was in so many tv shows okay i don't even know if that's true it just became a trope i love when like things like that are like actual just lies i kind of hope it is like i love when that happened it's so funny because i'm like i bought it i believed it i wasn't gonna test it but yeah so if you want to watch the video version patreon again it's a great time and we also do live streams twice a month

so if you're missing us shout out to all my friends that listen like real life friends none of mine listen i didn't know that they did and then they'll tell me or they'll mention something that happened and i was like oh that's funny yeah not a single one of my friends listens and if any of my friends want to dispute that because you've listened to this part like you can fucking tell me but i will not bring it up moss was looking at his spotify unwrapped and i was like before he played it i was like i know for a fact that my podcast won't even touch the top five music no no and i'm like just own up to it you don't listen it's fine like i talk about us and you as if you under the guise like you aren't listening yeah he doesn't listen i can't

wait for next year because i want to see people that have us at one and two we i think i saw one or two people and it was because we're like the only podcast that they listen to yeah i don't use spotify at all except for for one of my podcasts that has a music playlist and that's the only thing but i don't listen to music on it i don't listen to the podcast on it so yeah i don't have one i only listen to one podcast on spotify once and that's because it was when we were driving to colorado last year and it's the only time see i'm an apple purist it's just easier to save individual episodes on spotify i find like just actually but at the same time you don't doubt i download them if i'm on apple so it would have been easier yeah did enjoy seeing us at the top

yeah and thank you to our patreon watchers because theirs didn't compute too yeah because they watch on patreon so you get the biggest shout out yeah you get the biggest shout out so thank you so much but just know when you all are showing your top i am judging who else is in your top someone message me when i like on that specific story and they go we've got like three vlog squad podcasts and murder ones they haven't been listening and i was like true i like when we're in good company yeah otherwise i'm like are you rachel okay well should we get into giving some advice hi guys i'm 18 years old and use um she her pronoun so i need advice on one specific problem To set the scene, I graduated from high school about a year early and took that time to work on my music and other hobbies and just take some time for myself.

So now that all my friends have graduated together and are moving on to college, I feel like I missed out on that last year's high school where all my friends had been planning for college together and just all this stuff. I guess I just feel a little FOMO and I'm starting to regret not finishing and graduating with them and missing out on the memories that they have had so I guess I really just want to kind of figure out how to deal with that FOMO and like you know not regret taking that time for myself but you know they're all moving on and like I feel a little bit left out so any advice to help with those feelings would be great love the podcast okay bye this is hard and I don't think you're necessarily going to like my answer, but I just think that there are very few things and very few decisions that you make in life that like, I don't know, the effects, side effects,

aftershocks, like the ripple effects that come from that decision that you're going to be like 100% satisfied with, you know, and assuming this sounds like a big decision that you made. And I think that you thought about this probably ahead of time, but now that it's actually here, it feels worse than you anticipated it. And as somebody who I didn't like end high school early, but I dropped out of college, I definitely had FOMO for college parties and like my friends doing college age things and, and all of that kind of stuff. I knew I made the right decision for me, but that didn't mean that every side effect that came with that decision that I made, like felt great all the time and now looking back on it I'm like yeah whatever great perfect

awesome I can't imagine missing out on senior year of high school like that is like a quite a big thing but it's only really a big thing during your senior year of high school like when you get to college like that that's what I was gonna say all the people I went to high school with that I was friends with when we got to college some of us remained friends for a short amount of time but Then most of us did not remain friends afterward. After I graduated college, there was probably only as far as like my high school friends, there was only one person that I still talk to. Cut her out a couple of years ago because of Trump stuff.

But it's a temporary feeling. You won't feel this for the rest of your days. It may feel rough right now, but people grow apart anyway. So just enjoy what you can right now. the FOMO may feel real but it's only gonna last for a little bit of time yeah and I don't know if you're going to college it doesn't sound like you are it doesn't sound like it yeah just know the intricacies between their relationship with each other as they all go to different colleges like that will change and it's inevitable again as somebody who dropped out of college and

like what my where my friends were all in college and I wasn't it is different like it is really different and like the best thing that helped with me to not feel which I already did feel which I've always felt but like kind of like rushed into adulthood and I'm like fending for myself like financially like and that's all it's a lot of like necessity but that I would like for big like homecoming stuff or like depending what the school is like I would go visit my friends and like stay there for a couple days or like maybe a week and like enjoy that like aspect of it to kind of have that social side of college. I don't think college is necessary for everyone at all, but it is really hard to maintain and make friendships with people your age when you are not

in school because so many people are in school. So if you can still like hang out with people your age and that stuff, that's like the biggest thing I would recommend because you don't necessarily miss out on senior year or like college, like you miss out on the social aspects of and being surrounded by people that are your age yeah also she has she can look forward to working and making money while they're in debt yes that is true that is true but you also you still need to have fun and you still need to like yes yes yes yes of course that social aspect of it because like having to like pay for yourself and like that financial burden it's really hard uh because we associate being taken care of with like childhood and it's really hard when you your

parents or whoever your guardians can't like financially take care of you you have to take care of yourself it's really hard to um not then feel like you take care of yourself on every aspect and then not just like start hanging out people who are all older than you and like trying to move really really fast yeah you know so still have fun party on party on wayne next one hey Megan and Melissa. So I just found out that my college will only give me four tickets for people to attend my graduation in April. I know it's way too early to think about this, but I'm a planner and I'm ready for undergrad to be over. So the problem here is that I don't know who to invite and who won't be getting an invite and how to kind of gauge those conversations. So my mom and dad

have to be there, obviously, because they really paid for everything. But then the other people who I wanted to invite, but not have to decide between, are my 84-year-old neighbor, who was practically my grandma and helped me through everything in life and has literally been my partner in crime since I was like eight. But then there's my biological grandmother on my mom's side, who planned to travel here from El Salvador for my graduation, but she only speaks Spanish.

So she might not be able to really fully understand the ceremony and what's happening, but she would be really excited about it. And then there's my brother, who has intellectual and physical disabilities. He's 18, by the way. And he just really gets incredibly upset when the attention is on me and not him. So I think he'd be very upset the entire time. And then there's my boyfriend, who has literally been my rock throughout college, despite us being long distance. The problem with that is that my dad has refused to meet him for the past four years that we've been together.

However, I am a stubborn tourist and I know that I want my boyfriend there, but I don't know how to go about that conversation with my dad. My mom knows, but my dad is the problem here. And I also don't know who else I should invite with the last ticket. So if you could give me any advice, that'd be great because I'm really conflicted and I just don't know what to do. Thanks. Love the podcast.

Bye. Here's what I'd do. One, check and see if anybody you know isn't using all their tickets. yeah sydney fucking hustled for months ahead of time like the fact that you're thinking about this and it's in april this is actually a good call like she was in like fucking facebook group like she was putting in work yeah to throw a party yeah afterwards and then invite everybody that you want to invite three i think your boyfriend would be understanding i think so too so i think you invite your mom dad neighbor and grandmother because even if your grandmother

can't understand what's being said symbolic yeah she wants to be there i'm sure this is a huge deal for her those are your four boyfriend can understand he comes to the party meets your dad there and you don't want your brother there yeah which like no no shade but like of all of the explanation that's clear that that's that would be an obligation invite and not something that would make the day right better so yeah i fully agree with that and i think that like yeah put the work into trying to get extra tickets and let your boyfriend know that like hey i'm gonna do this if he is like upset that you're gonna have your grandmother be there over him that's like honestly a red flag yeah but like and also like if he's like around your age too like it's just

it's a graduate he should understand fucking get you should fucking get it especially when it comes like older family members like and how much that means to them like for him it's just like anything else he didn't watch you grow up from diapers i fucking hope not yeah and i think it'd be awkward if he's sitting there with like your parents that he your dad that he hasn't met before save that for after where you can be there with them 100 this is like a thing that happens with everyone around graduation and stuff so yeah people should be happy to like not have to go because like you sit for so long when I was in college they did each individual college separately like for the whole university and so I sat through so many of them over the four years of my friend's

graduation they're boring they're so boring no I only went to yeah we went to Sydney I went to Sydney's and I went to Jerry's and that was it and the whole time it was just like me and their grandma just being like fucking boring shit bring snacks we oh somebody brought snacks so did debbie that's a snack family i love it parents old people everybody else understand yeah people who like you wouldn't have actually gone to college if they didn't exist as in like you know or like who have watched you grow up not like a relationship that could potentially be temporary but no offense your boyfriend you know yeah and no one who's gonna make it about them all right okay let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back. What'd you do during the break?

i took about a single breath of air i solved world hunger what else did i do to my refrigerator oh my god okay everybody needs to know this so i feel like if you've been listening for a while you know that like there's bougie and then there's like melissa bougie it is what so you're a meal delivery not a meal kit you like to cook and you can't cook you just are so busy you don't have the time so you are a this is pre-made thing so i can eat it throughout the day during my very busy day yes and you're not like me who's just has adhd who can hyper who hyper fixates on food and i eat the same thing every day and so through the time the years that i've known you i've seen you cycle through many different food deliveries and i love them because you know it just makes

everything easy but it gets so repetitive because you're still bougie you can't do the like fucking boiled chicken and rice no no she needs variety she needs like luxury she needs flavor and where's the spice and so the new one that you just started got delivered and we took a quick break to go get that and i'm looking at this and i'm going this looks like not to be dark i'm like this has given me flashbacks to parent has cancer and all of the moms in the class are making me lunch like these are like tupperware containers and i'm like what the what is this and you're just like um i hired a personal chef to make all of these things her entire kitchen island covered in like breakfast lunch dinner snack multiple kinds of snack salsas like restaurant

style salsa there's like all of this shit and like if you're on patreon right now you can just see one of these it looks like something like someone's grandma made you all this food yeah it is the funniest thing in the entire world i just get hungry like a regular person you know yeah i'm a regular person i'm just like you it's just we are so the polar opposites of this because i'm like i could tell you i eat the same like five things for not counting dinner but no i eat the same two things every day for the i can't i just know that's mine is everything he brought is like there's pretty much the same thing for the week yeah but next week it'll be different yeah and see with the last meal delivery service i was using i'd have something new every day but then

the next week it'd be the same stuff and then i just stopped eating it because i was sick of it yeah you're fine i mean mine is my brain like that's like mine's like a i mean it's my brain so i can call it what i want like it's my brain like not being normal like i know that so like i literally eat turkey slices with trader joe's vegan pesto and garlic spread and then i eat bananas and almond butter and that's it that's like the only things i eat besides dinner like that's all i eat all day am i deficient in a lot of nutrients and vitamins yes that's why i have to take vitamin supplements like but i applaud you with this matzah similar i mean everyone actually i'm just the i know i'm beyond if i if i had another person that i could cook for

and it wasn't just me so it was i was just cooking like for one person which is a lot of work it is it would be better but it's just me and i'm busy and i don't even want to think about what i'm going to eat like i just want it here and so i was going to cook and then i just didn't have time my food went bad and then I was ordering food which one so expensive it's so expensive and it's unhealthy it's got so much stuff in it that's hidden they don't know like extra salt and stuff that I don't even like salt so yeah you can't control it as much either no I think it's a good call I would also just like people know that this is like my hyper fixations of like the food I'm doing really great because I want you to know that there was a solid year where I used to

my like hyper fixation was a bag of frozen not even like fresh brussel sprouts that I would microwave and then dip in mustard i thought you're gonna say you ate it raw because i know that you eat frozen peas and frozen corn it's it's a dark time like when i lose one i'm fucked i'm screwed for a very long time and i'm due for one we'll see what's next we'll fucking see okay let's get into the next call hi megan and melissa i am a 23 year old female she her and i have a crush on my classmate, 23 male, he, him. We are both in grad school and are in the same cohort. He is the only straight male in my cohort, so I don't know if I like him because I actually like him or because it's Slim Pickens around me. Also, about a month ago, he got out of a situationship with someone

that he knew from undergrad who just so happened to go to the same grad school as us, not in the same program, thank God. She was also friends with someone that I work with, so I kind of see her often but he and I do subtle flirting all the time but I'm not sure if he likes me back or he just likes the attention that I give him I'm scared to confess anything because of the relationship he recently got out of and I know if I were to confess my feelings I would want to take it extremely slow should I say anything should I just get over it what should I do also side note we're both leos and I just feel like that that is important to mention thank you both so much love the podcast bye i don't think you should do anything i think you should i'm sorry we need to

go back they're both leos why would you do that to yourself why would you do that to yourself because it's grad school and grad school is monotonous and you want to have a little drama why not you want to have a lot of drama there you go why not i wouldn't i just i refer to this as camp goggles that's exactly what it is yeah why not because you're how far you're only 23 you're not that far into fucking grad school how big is this group of people we don't know how long the program is could be a year program could be a two-year program that's a three-year program that's true but every time that i have like had a crush on someone in a situation where like the camp goggles were on i never liked them ever and she doesn't if she doesn't tell him then she'll

never know if she actually liked him as long as she's in this program he's the only dude there confess your feelings see if something happens why not she wants to see the mess that's gonna happen i want to hear the update she won't watch the world like she confesses it and then it turns out to be a big nothing it could be her soulmate i think you should go for it i don't think so i think that you should sit on it see if you still have feelings on his face don't sit on his face see if you still have feelings like when you're out of school like if you would go on vacation with friends or something like are you still thinking about this person yeah he's the only man that she's been around no i know that's what i'm saying you need to see other straight men

and like just figure that aspect out of it and then here is my toxic advice if you are someone who drinks and he is also someone who drinks here we go you've given this advice plenty of times and also i just want everyone to know that this is so such toxic advice i don't even i don't drink anymore. And I used to do this and I stopped drinking. So just know, I don't think this is good advice or it doesn't even have to be like, you're going out drinking. It's like, you're going out to like a restaurant and like everyone's together or whatever. Like, I just think that like testing the waters in that way, like we're out of school and like, we're like doing something all together as a group of people. And it's like late and we're

hanging out and like, do I still feel it here? Like, do I still feel it in like this moment? because i've always found that like when i'm i don't know it's like like the little like flirting and like that oh my gosh like wow it's always like in a group setting like i'm in class or i am i don't know something where it feels like a little bit more tunnel vision sucked into a thing that this thing is kind of getting me through it is like really entertaining and fun and then the second i like go out with this person one-on-one or spending time with them one-on-one or like there's energy there that they like might kiss me i will be like no exactly that's why she should try it i don't think that she should be like hi i have a crush on you no you ask him to hang

who says i guess some people do that yeah it should clarify when i say you should tell him i think you should hang out with him one-on-one and see if something happens and how you feel about that i think you should do a group hang and i think you should have the rest that people orchestrate them like leaving early or something so then you're hanging out with him okay different me a swiss amen just invite him over to study yeah but here's the thing i've done that and then the moment that i see their face in my peephole i go nope i don't like you and then i'm like well fuck then still have a study buddy yeah but then i've said then there's like you've never wanted to actually study she's in grad school so she's gonna want to study you're academic yeah i was

like that that's my cover too fuck yeah okay for sure for sure for sure studying i get it multiple meetings yes yes yes you want to study his dick i'm in uh i have a phd in dickology in a dick i don't know happy dickness love it okay well best of luck melissa wants you to call back so she can hear what happens and she's smirking i just want you to know that i'm smiling full on smiling it's a smirk it's smile it's a smirk this is smart that's not no one would ever do that face this is smart no it's do what the difference in the smirk is the smirk is the look in the eyes like the smile your fate your mouth is doing one thing and then your eyes your eyes are an inside joke do you what i mean that's what a smirk is i think that you won't know have your

answers until you make a move if you actually like them or not yeah or you could be like me and just like be rolling in vegas and then have some text message exchange with the guy that you're not sure if you actually like and then one day you get engaged six years later six years later hello megan and melissa um you guys are awesome megan i am such a huge fan of yours i love you i've been watching your videos since the beginning of time so i have a friend group at home there's six of us and i just moved to chicago from living at home for the past like year for COVID with COVID. And I have one friend in the friend group, let's call her Piper. And I very recently had a pretty minor incident with her where I set a boundary and she crossed

it multiple times. It was like a very minor thing where she asked me if she could use something of mine and I wasn't comfortable with it because it was a joint. Let's just, I'm just going to say it was a joint and she's like a huge donor and it's like her personality which I like weed and I smoke weed but it irritates me when people like make it their whole personality um I just tend to not like that in a person particularly her and because she makes me feel bad that I don't smoke as much weed with her which is to me just like a dick thing and kind of the antithesis of why I smoke weed is like, I don't want to judge people. I want to like chill and relax. So anyway, when I was just home for Thanksgiving, we got together for our other friend's birthday. And

then we went out after for a little bit and I don't drink. And she knows that and she kept pushing me to drink. I haven't drank for a while. It feels like she just like doesn't take it seriously and was trying to like break me which really really irritated me and then I had a joint which she knew and I drove her home afterwards and she was like oh can I have that joint like it took her a while to ask but I knew she was gonna ask it because she always asks stuff like this and I hesitated and I wasn't comfortable with it because of COVID because even though I was like with her and I'm vaccinated and have my booster I just didn't want to like share spit with her if that makes sense and she kept saying like no I respect that but then continued bringing it

up and pressing it to the point where I just folded because she makes me feel weird about this and basically there have been a lot of times that she just irritates me and after hanging out with her. I'm always fuming. And then I kind of black it out and forget about it. And then the next time I hang out with her, everything's fine. And then she does one thing to annoy me and it brings all of it back. So basically, I just don't know how to proceed with it because we have this friend group of the six of us. And I live with one of my really good friends who's in the friend group in Chicago. I just moved here. My other really good friend who's in the friend group also doesn't really like her. So it's nice to have that one person that I can like, kind of vent about her,

but it just feels really inauthentic. Part of me, I just kind of want to ice her out. That doesn't really feel fair. I just don't know if I should just cut her out of my life. I've been distancing myself from her, but she's kind of the person that I don't really care to like rock the boat with her. Because for me, I just don't want to be friends with her anymore. I haven't gone through a friend breakup in a while and I've never really been the one to initiate it. So any advice how to break up with a friend basically especially when you're in a friend group even though she's the only one that lives at home right now but any advice would be great thanks love you guys bye this girl sounds so fucking annoying at first though i thought she was like trying to can you

give me your whole joint i was like the fuck but like she's pressuring her to drink no totally she wants i just like being around her you don't want to be your friend you're the complicated thing is that she's in your friend group yeah here's the thing i don't know how old you are but a friend group of six people who are all like have relatively same origins of friendship or are like, cause you said she's the only one who lives at home. So that sounds like to me that like this is high school friends or like childhood growing up friends, maintaining a equally close relationship with a group of people that big is not realistic into your adult years. Like all of my friends, even if I met them, like we're hometown friends, like I met them at different

points in my like childhood life or whatever. So like all of our relationships aren't reliant on each other it's not like a pre-prom kind of group so that's an inevitable thing that like if it's not this girl it's gonna be someone else like you don't have a really really close friend group of six people where you're all solid all of the time and like the thing that feels odd and like why i definitely think you should just cut her out with this is like sounds like you've been friends for a really long time and like my high school friends and like the i can tell them fucking anything like i'm like you're being so fucking annoying like stop like it's like we can be like that and you don't feel comfortable doing that with her and that to me is like that's a really big red flag

that like you should just stop being friends with her because i get that if you don't feel comfortable doing that with like newer friends or whatever but if you've been friends for so long through your growing up process like that's a good point someone that doesn't have childhood friends i can't relate oh i could say fucking anything to marilisa like the first time our boyfriends like saw us together they were like damn and we're like oh we're sisters like we're literally like sisters like i can tell you if you're being annoying or like we can just call each other out on that kind of stuff and like i feel comfortable doing that with friends most of the time in general and if i don't that to me is like we're not at a level of closeness that i would

then want to spend time you know i mean like it shouldn't be when you've had a relationship for this long. Right. What it seems like this long. Yeah. I agree with everything Megan said. And then in addition to that, I would put myself in situations where we're not one-on-one together. So it seems like you guys rode home together, have her ride with somebody else. If you're the one that's driving or if you're not driving, don't ride with her. Yeah. And then I would call her out on all this stuff where you said that you don't drink. Why are you trying to pressure me to drink and you already know that i don't drink and if she's a friend that doesn't understand like even if it's just like you didn't want her to smoke because she annoys you but like on top of

you didn't want her to put her saliva on something else that you would be putting your mouth on like she should understand that and then she's saying she does but then he's like still pushing it yeah call her out on ours on all her stuff and then just distance yourself from her yeah i think that like you said that you didn't want to do that like call out because you're like i don't really feel the need to mend the friendship it's not even a call out it's a call in and i was gonna say i don't think that that's an indicator that you want to mend the friendship if anything what you said is you don't know really how to cut someone out or ice someone out i've done that before too where it's like i'm saying this to you it might seem like i'm giving i'm telling this to you because

i want an opportunity for you to change i don't think you're going to change but this makes me stopping being friends with you a lot easier on both of us because essentially i've given you a warning sign and then when something doesn't change which i know it's not going to you're not going to like have this complete pivot there is something for you to look back on and go oh wow yeah it's that thing so it doesn't feel so out of left field for them which then means that like you're probably going to get less text messages you're probably going to get like less of those conversations it's way less about her and that and more about you yeah and i agree that like don't be alone with her like have other friends who are there like around her and the biggest thing i

would recommend is to not talk shit about her to other people in said friend group especially if you are going to distance yourself from her because it will inevitably at some point get back to her and if you wouldn't be comfortable saying to it to her face don't say it to someone who knows her just don't there's no point talk to like about it to someone who's like not her and even if you can like both kind of commiserate with like her being annoying if you're just constantly going to have to be in situations where you're talking about her if you've already cut her off then she's still essentially in your life right you know right i think that there's like a a slow fade with these kinds of friends and things and i think the friend that you've complained

about with that should be the friend that's like if she like tells you to drink you're like oh i'm not drinking if she says it more than one time and just goes on like what did you say what do you mean no i'm saying you should drink i did you uh-huh what what was that i you you can i have what i know i are you you see and i would have just snapped and said shut the fuck up i already told you i wasn't drinking yeah it is just like a matter of like there is no once you've had the you've said the thing one fucking time after that it's like oh i didn't hear you and then it's like if you want to keep talking to me about this after i've already told you like i'm just gonna ignore you sorry fuck off as someone who doesn't drink anytime anyone is trying to get you to drink it

says so much more about them than you and when i've had certain people way way way less now um who when they find out i don't drink basically take that as like a mirror reflecting them being like oh shit i've had someone because nobody who is confident in their relationship with alcohol gives a shit that i don't drink at all but anytime that i'm like oh i don't then that is just a mirror and being like oh i don't have a good relationship with alcohol and i still drink and like but that's not what they're going to say so congratulations on being our last call of advice for 2021 light up a joint in celebration okay well on that note it's time for don't blame them

hey i'm a 38 year old um and i was calling about the 25 year old whose dad wants forgiveness and I just wanted to call and say that it took me seven years to get through my childhood and I do forgive my mom and I didn't see her for about 10 years and I'm just now reintroducing myself to the family. And yes, my brother was not happy about it. My family was not happy about it. But be as selfish as you can be. Take care of yourself.

You never see him again. That is perfectly fine. if you want to see them for the holidays that's perfectly fine just do whatever makes you the most comfortable and if they want forgiveness that's their problem that is not your problem and definitely you're ahead of the game if you're 25 and you're already in therapy that is so awesome and i am so proud of you so that was it bye so sweet love it but i like their voice me too very nice voice well i guess that's our holiday episode jingle balls jingle balls jingle the balls your way um we hope you all enjoyed this season don't worry we're coming back and we have two

more episodes that are coming out there i mean it's technically the still same season just end of the let's call it our uh winter finale okay grayson avenue fucking hell it's our mid-season finale speaking of mid-season finales i ended up on riverdale slander tiktok that show has gone wild it was dumb the first i watched about six episodes of when it came out because everyone was talking about it and i was like but some of these clips i've seen i just want to praise those actors because i know they're in those long contracts and they are they are doing their best looks like they're getting paid here's the thing though i know they're not getting paid they're not getting paid well getting paid they're getting paid really what they're getting paid in

is from the first couple seasons big exposure and then from other projects but like there is nothing worse than doing like soul-sucking acting work that like people also think that you're getting like raking in that they're not one girl's in like a secret commercial she's she's like the spokesperson for secret oh yeah they're like you look at their socials they're salt they're doing it but the thing they're getting paid least to do of everything in their life is remember they use that and it's the most time that they have to do everything else yep but it's the most time they spend working and with the least amount of money it's a rough time well it's not that rough i mean it's still a lot of money compared to people that don't work in the industry entertainment

oh okay yeah yeah but as far as an actor on a as a series regular and a television show no no i think about if you like convert it into like any other field think of like the base level union pay in your field and that's yeah that's that that's about it or they're making more than sag minimum they're making a little more yeah a little bit more yeah that's true for 18 hour days and living in canada and and doing what they're doing they're getting a little more a little more they got great health benefits so they do they do they do gotta love that insurance okay um well if you've listened this far into the end leave a comment on our last instagram post of whether you think that the third caller should tell her cohort mate her co her cohort colleague if she

should tell him or not so just say tell him tell him or don't tell him or you could say team melissa team megan tell him tell him and that's it um yeah go leave a review on the podcast app if you would like and we have our other podcast that comes out on thursdays but am i wrong go follow us on instagram you can follow my individual socials my presets my book if you want to get those things for the holiday season yes it's a little late in the game but hey digital you could show that i don't know what you're saying okay i didn't finish the sentence um uh what would you like to promote me melissa diamond mods please follow me on instagram thank you very much and seen okay we will see you all next time goodbye

don't blame me is a production by me executive produced by melissa de monts and diamond imprint productions edited by coco lawrence post-production sound by chris henry production assistance by melanie d watson music by ryan hunter and giacomo picasso