Don't Blame Me! - Sexless Relationship

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Meghan has no issues. Melisa has all the issues. After Meghan fills Melisa in on the fires she knew nothing about, Meghan and Melisa give advice on if you should break up with your long-distance boyfriend, and receive the requested update from the co-sucker. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Subscribe to But Am I Watching? Apple  Spotify Subscribe to Don’t Blame Me! Apple Spotify Call In for DBM - 310-694-0976 (3 minutes or less) Write In for DBM - [e-mail] (300 words or less) DBM Submission Form Buy Our Merch https://crowdmade.com/collections/sister-sign Follow Us! instagram.com/meghanandmelisa @meghanrienks instagram.com/meghanrienks https://twitter.com/meghanrienks @sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa instagram.com/diamondmprint.productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

oh my god wait we're matching color wise we're like fully color coordinated i know i noticed but you were having other issues going on so i didn't want to bring it up i've actually never had an issue in my life okay i'm like an issue free i'm like the exact opposite of a magazine okay well we can talk about my issues then wait should i introduce our podcast sure go ahead yeah yeah for sure hey uh what's up everybody um it's megan melissa we are here at don't blame me headquarters which is a podcast where we give you wonderful amazing life-changing advice we also talk about our own lives pop culture current events everything everything under the sun so before we get into the advice part i'll give you all the

how to what's my habit but now on to melissa's issues thank you so much megan so um yeah i'm getting blood drawn after this and so i'm trying not to have my phobia brain focus right now um because i have in case you didn't know i have a severe fear of needles i was freaking out because you know i've been in i've been picturing this for days because i'm trying to get myself in the right mindset picturing what the blood drawn oh like the visualizing it i feel like that's exactly not with okay does that help you prepare yeah because if not i'm just thinking about i don't know i forget that too many questions part of my brain that is able to like absolutely just shut everything off is called adhd and that's not a skill everyone else has no not at all so

yeah i have you know i overthink about things you don't say yeah never witness that mm-hmm so um i got little vapor things to put in your nose it's like a clip that you just put there and then you put your mask on and it's like an inhaler thing so it's it's eucalyptus so i got that to help me calm down during that you got smelling salts i also do not i can the smell of a doctor's office just puts me in panic yeah as is scent is the strongest trigger uh it's so clean but so that must be so hard for you because like on one hand i love how sanitized and clean and disinfected this is on the other hand my memory the scent triggers i know what's going on here and i don't like what's going on here

so yeah so trying to get that and then i also was like i'm gonna wear comfortable pants and i'm gonna wear my cowboy carter shirt because it's comfortable but also like it's the right length yes you don't have to futz around yes but then i couldn't find it this morning oh no yeah that would stress me out if i had it like yeah yeah and also hopefully hopefully your phlebotomist is um like a beyonce fan and can talk to you about beyonce and thus distract you i don't want them to talk at all i'm gonna have my headphones in i will have we are so different yeah i will have beyonce in my ear any specific song or album probably uh cowboy carter i mean it's not gonna take long it'll take three minutes so i just need american requiem to play and that should be the

whole thing okay wow we are so like the fact that you're picking a song that like hits me in my feels is like the exact i need to be distracted no no i would need to listen to school in life like i that would be what i would probably pick no no no i need to be distracted in a different emotion like a like a sad emotion so then i can be focused on something else yeah so here we are they'll probably give you a snack too which is nice sometimes they give you candy no doesn't do it for you no that's not gonna do it for me they always try to give me the candy because they're always like hey um so how do you do with blood draws and i was like i'm always like i psychologically fine physically um my body sometimes i think not so great exactly and then

they get so worried and i go don't worry i didn't drive myself here ma like i don't he he's got this and then i was like do you want like do you want sugar water do you want candy and i'm like no i'm good i'm i'm i'm a seasoned professional at this but i as long as you have as long as you i mean you know this but like i think the thing that anyone who avoids medical stuff because you're not one of those people we talked about that no i do it i'm just you prepare you extensively prepare and that's exactly what you're supposed to do but for people who like don't the like the easiest thing i can just stress to anyone is that like if you tell a phlebotomist that oh you're like a little nervous they will often like remove themselves and get someone who they were like

if you're a little nervous i know we have someone who's like the best at this yeah and they'll do it so well because like i had a really bad experience the first time i got my blood drawn once as a kid and i had a really hard time after that like getting my blood drawn when i was like younger and then once i got mono i had to get over that because they're constant they were just taking your blood all the time fucking with that i was in so much pain during that i don't even remember it and i actually wasn't i didn't get so when i was a teenager i got uh dehydrated and so my oh and so oh yeah and i already have small veins as it is yeah and so that's what damaged me yeah i was fine up until that point no it's always like an experience that happens

because you don't know what to be afraid of or whatever but i my first time i was at kaiser i had a a phlebotomy it was her it was her first time oh like her first day and the like head person there was like yeah come on try this out and i was like what and then it took her like 15 tries and someone got yelled at yeah like loudly i will say the best person who's ever drawn my blood was a like probably like six foot three gay man dressed in a actual bear suit on halloween you told me that and i was like honestly this is the vibe like thank you so much dress like a circus bear specifically so i've run like it's like half bear half clown with that yeah no totally i understand i was wondering if my cardiologist why would you dress up as a clown

for at a hospital when people have phobias of clowns and then you're already for sure no but he was a circus bear so it's just a bear that has like some clown accoutrements like the neck thing or whatever okay i thought you meant like no no no he had like bear arms and then no that's like dressing up like a spider okay you should just said a circus bear not a bear clown i did i that was the foot but you said but you said bear clown i said he was a circus bear so he was like part bear part clown yeah that's part bear part clown that's fine fine just circus bear that i was that gives all the information you need i was just offering too much context but i remember being like is my fucking cardiologist gonna walk in here like in a costume because every other person

was in a costume he didn't but i was like okay because i was like what the are you gonna be wearing an outfit that's gonna be a little bit crazy i mean i think if you're a pediatrician but like but even then you have to be careful about what you're dressed as because you could trigger something in a child well and also you don't want to be like the princess giving shots yeah you know i mean like that would ruin it for some yep for some kids but well i'm excited for you for once this is over me too what are you gonna do after treat yourself come work work is a treat to me i got my new inhaler didn't cost 30 300 how much 35 wow wonderful they just chopped this other two numbers off yeah i just started it last night so i don't know today it'll be a test

because you know sometimes i can't even get through the whole podcast how's the uh flavor Uh, chalky? Mm, could be worse. But you have to rinse your mouth out or you'll get an infection after, so... Yeah, you'll get, uh... This is one of those where it's, like, a circle and you gotta pull the lever back

and then blow to the side and then... Oh, I'm sorry, a ye old inhaler. Like, that's, like, one of those ones... But that's how the powdered ones are administered. Yeah, but, like, it's like the candlestick where you, like, walk around, like, and it feels, like, ye old. But, uh, you can get a yeast infection in your throat.

from this yep which are not good yeah but i don't know who would want to have that it literally tastes like you took a piece of chalk and then just swallow it and then you could go and a cloud would fall out that's so funny yeah no i don't know that i'd be able to stop myself from rinsing my mouth out like i don't think i could i don't know who would be like yeah let me just yeah even in public because it's not the one that you get if you're it's not an inhaler when you're just out of breath type inhalers this is one that you have to take on the clock so yay yay i hope i i hope it works for you anytime that there's like those inhaling things or the things you take put your nose and breathe in there's such a fucking learning curve to make oh i'm so sorry you were

actually breathing wrong and it's like yeah like they're like don't breathe on the mouthpiece and i was like oh okay like i can suck out of it but i can't breathe on it thank you that's how i feel about like so many of the nasal ones where like i will know after an hour if i did it incorrectly and i'm like sorry so you need me to not you need me to breathe in normally but that's always liquid but don't let it drip out of my nose but also don't tilt my head back yep once i so i i was taking the nasal stuff wrong my whole life until i watched a youtube video and i was like oh well now i know that it actually because i'd always be like this doesn't work now i know why you're supposed to breathe regularly not snot it up and then hold it in and then lightly blow your nose

after i swear that was like the longest amount of time my um doctor my uh allergist spent with me was like literally she like took one to demonstrate it and it was like a 15 minute demo and she's like if you don't feel like it's doing anything you're in fact doing it wrong and i was like oh okay good to know good to know but i got the nose irrigator and that has been life-changing have you had anything come out that was like surprising yet well the tonsil stones yeah the tonsil stones i had no idea i had three of them in the back of my throat and i didn't know that this would be a side effect of so did it happen your mouth yeah it came out my mouth wow so i guess the pressure because all that's connected anyways i guess the pressure i was like what is this coming

and three of them coughed up i've done it just twice says i don't i don't think my nose itself is as bad as like some other people because like the irrigator thing is like do this every day and i tried to do it two times in a row and it was too much yeah you can get that like like water in your nose headache yeah you don't need it yeah yeah so um i'm just gonna do it like maybe twice a week so i did last night before i had i was like now i have my whole allergy i guess allergy slash asthma bedtime routine now so yeah you clean up those pipes and then yeah you chalk them up also went to the optometrist i'm getting all my doctors appointments out the way like i said and i was still great she was like you might just want to like wear some blue blockers while you're

on the computer and i was like okay and my insurance cover glasses i was like let me just get some cute ones oh cute so that's fun they have it they're getting them special because i was like also can i get them where it doesn't reflect back uh if i wear them on camera and so they got to treat them and i'll get them in a couple weeks but she was like do you have allergies i said yes and she goes yeah i can see it in your eyes so i'm gonna go back to using eye drops every day too so i love the ones that i use i if you want a rack i love what i use too they're great and i i just i have like two boxes i just don't use it i think more people need to start using eye drops because like a lot of people are freaked out about like anything touching their eye but i'm

like i like if your eyes feel like irritated or annoyed at all like lumify is not the answer like just a regular eye drop like it's like what it's like washing it's like never washing your face and then be like why is my face so tight like that's your eyeballs same thing and i use someone's like oh my eyes are a lot wider than i remember them being yeah and you're like oh they're open and i can like i can see clearly now the rain is gone well uh i texted melissa a couple days ago and it's like damn i just went outside and the smoke's crazy and she goes smoke but what smoke and i go from the fires and you go fully messed up i haven't been on my phone um so if anyone else is well here's the thing the the app that the fire app i have it yeah but they share a lot of just

like trash the small plant is on fire and then it's out in two minutes and so i've become immune to it and so i've just been ignoring them yeah so there is in fact a pretty extensively large fire in simi valley as of i still think now there's only one house that's burned because it was a vegetation fire i feel really bad for the person who accidentally started this like everyone always has like conspiracy theories with fires but like this was someone who was like oh we're having a lot of overgrown brush and we're in an el nino year so we're gonna have like a lot of fucking wind and a lot of hot wind and so they were like i need to like i'm at this farm let me clear all this brush and they were using on the tractor and they accidentally ran over something that

caused a spark and then that's how the fire happened but i think the only house that had burned down at that point was that the house closest there and i think it might have even been like attached to like the house on that farm but it's been like mostly vegetation but the thing that i am mott's is worried about one of his favorite golf courses burning down which i was like how does it how does it burn down it's just it's grass it will grow back i'm a little i'm a little confused why you're worried about that like i think that's kind of like the best chance scenario i was like i'm not excited about like the grass burning like if it's not good but you know he's like with the clubhouse and i'm like okay sure whatever you can rebuild i'm sure

with all the fees that are being paid to this golf course they can rebuild it yeah and then i was like well yeah I what I'm I'm worried about the uh Santa Susanna plant and Mats goes what and I go the chemical plant that's right there and he goes oh okay I take it back I'm more worried about that too it's like yeah yeah good call so that's what like I've just been following it to be like oh god please don't please don't because they like for the entire rest of the year they're like this place is totally safe like you don't have to worry about this like it's totally fine it's like a coincidence that there are lots of people who uh are on this exact water supply who are like getting like cancer really like rapidly lots of those people it's totally coincidence this place is

totally safe and as soon as the fire happened they have their own fire department and they're like going they're freaking out i go so you know this isn't totally safe you know this is a little freaking yeah after you told me i looked at the map and i'm like this is it must be the wind because it's like equal distance from you and me but then avia was like yeah i was and i i go outside every day I haven't noticed anything different but maybe it was like yeah I was downtown the other day and um I could like smell stuff and I was like what maybe maybe I just can't smell no it was weird I mean I go outside multiple times a day I water the clover I take walks all of that and it wasn't until like probably like 6 p.m one night my neighbor texted me being like hey do

you smell that and I'm inside and I was like huh and I like stand up and I'm like oh actually no I do smell something and then I go to open the front door and it like wafts in like I'm like at a barbecue like it's like I feel like I'm right there and I was like holy shit she was like there's no way that that's Simi Valley like I feel like something near us is on fire and so then we were texting our uh neighbor group chat and it was like no everyone was saying as soon as like the sun went down uh probably closer to seven seven ish it was like every it was just hit with it like so people are saying in pasadena and people are saying in burbank someone's saying downtown all of that it was like wind happened and then everyone could smell it everywhere so it is just like a very

weird because we obviously have like mountains here and hills but then we also have like a lot of wind and then when the air gets heavier and it like pushes in certain directions it's like now i can't smell anything but it's very weird but they're getting it on they're getting it contained which is great um still waiting for spencer pratt's comment on it you know how's he gonna fix this how's he gonna solve this you know did i tell you what his new thing is that's pissing me off so fucking much i think okay so i've watched tv with ads now and i've not seen one of his ads or anything about him i must just be in like an insular circle where i'm getting nothing from him i'm not seeing anything on social media you're not on threads are you no i remove threads

yeah so threads i'm only seeing people reply to those ones and like so i'm seeing people in my echo chamber engage with the others but his new thing is which i'm like god i hate him but damn does he know how to attract his audience which are middle-aged white women you know what he's gone for now tugging at their heartstrings you know what middle-aged white women love more than anything or white women more than animals we must take all of the animals away from homeless people because they're having sex with the animals they're practicing rituals on them they're drugging them and they're killing them for sport what and you talk to anybody who works like a veterinary office and we'll say like the most well taken care of pets are those of from

people who are homeless and like we actually want to take everything away from people who already do not have housing and so they're like well he's the only one who's caring about the real issues like the animals i'm like you're fucking insane truly fucking insane but damn he knows his audience okay mm-hmm mm-hmm well um don't vote for him that's like yeah don't vote for him i am loving hearing all the people say that um they're gonna come to california because we don't have voter id laws and they're gonna vote for him and just like write in and like prove that anyone can vote and i was like honestly like please do that because like you'll go to jail and then you can't vote in the presidential come here and do that you're right you're totally right there's nothing

in place for that go for it it'll be really easy and you will not be committing voter fraud at all because you say that that doesn't really exist or they say it exists but only from our side uh so best of luck don't bring any bail money either well we're gonna take a break and we get back we'll get into some advice but we're back let's give some advice hello goddesses of truth and today i'm coming to you for a bit of relationship advice the big thing is should i break up with my boyfriend or is there a way to work through it all because he didn't do a bad thing so i'm 23 3 a.m. and he is also the same. We can call him Ryan. I gave him these thoughts for a few main reasons. No, he's not a bad person just right now. He's just going to be like the best person

for me. This is my first relationship calling someone my boyfriend, so it's all new for me and the things I should expect. I'm trying to see if this is a season reason or like some kind of thing. We've been dating for almost a year and a half and things have been okay. When I say okay, I mean not bad, but just not great. The things that I've been dwelling on are one, our distance, two, our sex life, three, our lives in tandem, and four, just growth in general. All right, So we are in bordering states, a little under two-hour car ride. So it isn't horrible. I definitely don't mind the drive since I get to listen to you guys.

I just think over time that seeing each other regularly has been a little harmful to our relationship. And looking forward, I don't see myself moving closer to him. And for his job, he's a high school teacher, and it's his first year teaching, so he probably won't look closer to me. Not to mention the sense of his job has been a little annoying for us. He complains a lot about it, which I get. It's your first year, and kids are really hard to deal with. But there has been little time where he's shown fondness for the job, which we have talked about. another part is our sex life or lack thereof in the beginning he said he was inexperienced and

wasn't comfortable with that stuff just yet which i respected and we eased ourselves into it after a few months now what's fun at first when we first started but there have been a few cons one he's gonna last long two i barely got the chance to get off myself three it's been all like hands and oral stuff with like only one attempt at like penetration four very little actual intimate time like we're an old married couple and not like people in our 20s we've had a long deep conversation about this but now it's just changed and part of that is the stress of the job making him not in the mood for it now for a few months I was content telling myself I don't need sex and I'm comfortable doing like handling myself you know but as of late I realized I don't

need it but I enjoy it I want to do it with a partner I love now another thing is we went in a big couple trip recently like it was three couples us his two best friends and their boyfriends and it didn't make me realize a few things like I definitely don't see myself like in their group dynamic anytime soon we've hung out a few times before this but like still like looking forward i just don't see it and like i probably want to go on a trip with them again you know it's just it was just a lot and i can glad more about that so ultimately just like seeing our future it doesn't look right he always says how much he loves and adores me but i just can't feel it most of the time and i don't love him anymore it's just that he definitely loves

me more and the idea of me more and so any advice would be helpful the more honest and blunt the better do i break up with him how do i do it you know it's gonna suck and be super horrible so how do you get through it anyway thanks again love you guys bye oh my god you don't like him i don't even think you like him as a friend well he is your friend because you're not having tags but like you don't like being around him and you're like we'll never go on a trip again like you don't period no no i think you like the company and like you like you like riding in the car for a couple hours so you can listen to us yeah interrupted start like a hobby that's like a little far away like figure skating or like horseback riding like or just like get into like

long haul truck driving like this to me is like the distance part is the only hang up i have because everything else you've described is like oh well this is a relationship of convenience like but it's actually not inconvenient at all so do you like i'm curious if you like hate the apps if you hate dating and so like you like this part but you just this isn't what you you wanted like you prefer when it's like i'm in a relationship i prefer not sleeping around i prefer being monogamous i prefer having someone who i can text throughout the day and go on dates with and all that stuff so i could because i can't that's the only thing i could see staying in this because logically you know like you said like you're like he likes me more than him like I don't see a future

how do I do this and maybe you're just not like as confrontational but you've had these conversations these topics so like I really wouldn't I don't know I think it'd be more shocking to me if he's like wow this came out completely out of left field you're like you've had multiple talks about like the lack of intimacy and like not only just like sex but like the lack of like intimacy it feels like an old married couple and it's like oh but things haven't improved so like the logical next step is like okay this relationship is ending so like i don't think you should feel like oh this is going to be blindside it it shouldn't feel like that to him at all and if it does then it's like okay well then why are your needs becoming the default as opposed

to like you're expressing how you feel and what you're looking for and it's like okay here you then nothing changes and then i don't think anyone should ever expect you to to stay in that relationship when you've you've brought things up that you need to be worked on that you are looking for and when those needs aren't met the logical reaction and logical next step is to go seek that somewhere else how do you remember how old they said if you're over 25 23 okay okay okay break up move on break up and move on also 23 going on a like a couple's trip with friends like other couples that's like i don't know if i would do that a year in i feel like people do them a lot well i think that it was a good call to do it because there's nothing that gets me the

ick faster than being like i can't hang out with your friends like i can't do i can't do this part i'm sorry you also needed to leave that like you said you've had penetrative sex like maybe once in a year and a half and you're 23 i think the conversation of like oh maybe i don't need sex if that comes up in a relationship for you to be like oh okay you know what things to me i'm like okay that's like you know we're we've been together for years we've done this we've had this but like if that's not ever crossed your mind out of the relationship i don't think that you need to off the bat like settle for that when that's something that you have wanted like in general like yeah the whole thing is like you're settling for comfortability but you're not even

comfortable in the relationship does your work like pay for your car like your your like your gas for the mileage like i don't understand why why you're just in the relationship to be in a relationship you're like they don't do anything wrong except for breathe and like they're really nice but like we don't fuck yeah and like i never get off and it's fine for someone to be inexperienced but like hey how do you get experience by experiencing with like this is the time for your partner to like gain experience it's not like well you know maybe next time and it goes but we're together now when are you gonna are you gonna get the experience when you're not like what's the what's the plan there so i think like i think you've been incredibly kind and

gracious with someone who's maybe moving at a slower pace than you but i think ultimately when we're kind of like mismatched in experience when we start dating someone the expectation is like we eventually get caught up and it's not about like the amount of partners you've had or any of those kinds of things but it's like if that's what we're looking for you know intimacy sex whatever in a relationship one person being less experienced in that the implication is that the experience will be gained in this relationship but if it's like oh it's never going to be that, then I think that you've been very, very kind about it. But I would feel I would feel confused. Yeah, babes, it's time to move on. Break up. How do you do it? I mean, do you want to

drive two hours to break up with him? I would say a FaceTime. Yeah, this needs to be a FaceTime call, unfortunately but that's just how long distance relationships go and it needs to be high i like you so much actually i don't actually scratch that we don't want you lying hi this relationship has come to an end no we regret to inform you we are not reviewing your subscription we will not be moving your application to the next steps no like it just needs to be like just be truthful to the point where like it's gonna hurt but you don't have to like really hurt their feelings just be like it's not you it's me like because truly it's not them in this case this is not a lie it's like you're fine just not fine for me yeah and i the thing that i always say is don't invite

you're you're done and you're over it and it's not fair i it can seem like it's a nicer thing to do is to give the other person an opportunity to quote unquote fix it but like that's that opportunity has already existed and so not not having it be like a like follow-up question or being like can i do what so it's like hey you know i have like really enjoyed dating you but as this has gone on i've realized i think we are looking for different things and i know that i'm not going to be able to meet your needs and I don't feel like my needs are being met we've had these conversations before and I think that this we've just come to like a conclusion point and I like hope for the best for you and I hope that you can find someone who is like I know you'll

find someone who is much more compatible with you and at a closer distance and all of those kinds of things and like I wish you well and I think that's that's it and if you feel like they are searching for closure or searching for like more information I think that that's when you have to make the call of being like do I hurt your feelings and tell you like everything or do I just be like it's honestly just you know we've had some of these conversations before but I think the end of the day I just I don't think we're as compatible and unfortunately like you can't control if it hurts them and it probably will and like you can't control how they feel about you afterwards but i think the longer you stay in this where you clearly are like you know that they care about you more

than you care about them and it also seems like they're okay with the dis like that they're i don't know like i think that both of you should already probably be feeling this like this just this two hour distance like this is like really taking a toll and if they don't feel like that i don't think that they should be surprised that you do because i think they should view how they feel about it as an anomaly yeah and then the best part about being two hours away like mute him or block him or delete him off of instagram and any social media and like don't talk to any of the mutuals or whatever and like truly just like get back out there and like talk to other people and like meet other people it doesn't have to be like hop into a relationship but i think

you've done the processing about what you i think you've kind of started to get over the relationship we're already while already in it and i find that oftentimes like we kind of just want to get back out there pretty quickly yeah and fuck you need to you need to get fucked or be fucking get some good sex safely wrap it up but like get have some sex you you've been deprived yeah i i it's it's time to stop being nice it's like the real world time to stop being nice and start getting fucked start getting real the real world fuck vegas love it best of luck best of luck this person's like i have no idea what y'all are talking about i only know that from um i only know it from some parody of it might have been an snl okay because i never watched it but i did know i

watched it and i shouldn't have been watching it that was too little to be watching what was going on that jamie chung she was in she went to my college we didn't go at the same time but she went to my college she was in my sorority in my chapter and she went on real world and then she became an actress and so then i used it i was like okay fine i guess i can go to school in riverside i'll and then i'll join real world and then i'll be an actress like her and then i'll marry unfortunately he was my favorite from one tree hill so like i don't have anyone after that well there's that all right uh we're gonna take a break and we'll get back we'll talk some more get an update from a long-awaited update that i i requested

oh i can't wait all right we're gonna take a break a brown butter cherry upside down cornmeal cake just popped up on my feed is it not on our sister-son feed because I saw it there and it has so many things that I do not want brown butter don't like the flavor cherries don't like the flavor as soon as I saw the color of her skin I was like I'm a little she started adding way too much I saw the title at first and I was like oh and then I see oh she made a blueberry cornmeal scone and I was like I'm out oh that what's the other thing cornmeal I don't want that in unless I'm eating a cornbread cornbread I don't want it in my desserts too milly well that's why for scone it makes sense to me because it's it

breaks apart yeah I understand but no thank you so that cherry thing just everything about that cherry thing was like yuck for me it also just looked very wet brown butter I don't like brown butter i don't like cherries and i don't like cornmeal i love cherries that hate them disgusting absolutely disgusting i'll take a a cherry flavored candy love it an actual cherry oh absolutely rancid in your mouth you're a demon that is the exact opposite how i feel cherry oh i like a real cherry flavor i mean it's not it's not banana that one i that one does not work for me i prefer like an apple flavor than like a cherry because cherry to me tastes like cough syrup different different flavor cough syrup has the cough medicine in it you can taste the

cough medicine well i think this is also the the perils of not being allowed to have like artificial flavors in candy until i was so much older that that it becomes the association with those things that i'm like it makes it yucky to me that's i think probably also why i don't like the taste of bubble gum because the first time i ever had it was bubble gum bubble gum is usually disgusting okay good because i had bubble gum toothpaste at the dentist one time that's absolutely nasty give me just mint who was just like let's have the yeah bubble gum flavor at in dentistry even when they would do i guess it was a fluoride treatment they put it in a little thing and then go no give me mint yeah they used to be like uh the dentist as a kid it was like

okay so we have we have strawberry or we have banana so nasty grape they were all the color of that one was like gray grape we've got bubble gum and chocolate and i remember i was like i want mint and they were like and i'm like six and they're like um well mint can be a little spicy and i was like i don't want any and they tried and i kept gagging and they're like okay guess we'll give you mint and i was like wonderful like that would much prefer that yeah my nephew he used his like strawberry toothpaste he goes it's so good and i'm like i was helping his sister brush her teeth the other when we were there she wanted me to do bath time i did bath time for her and then she went and then we brushed her teeth and i was just the whole time like trying not to like

make a stank face at her because i was so sicked out by the toothpaste it's like yuck yuck yuck yuck and they just like suck it as a kid they're like i love this i'm like i know give them it they don't know any better no they don't and i'm just trying but i also remember those flavor when we would go to the dentist they would give us the flavor toothpaste in the little baggie a gift and i would be disgusted like who why i don't why do you want your kid eating toothpaste disgusting no and then they're like oh look they're actually focusing on oral care i go no they're not they're sucking a toothpaste dry like i'm doing with a washcloth on a hot summer day yeah at least mine's flavored by hose water and that's like a really nostalgic flavor

sorry i don't understand that totally speaking of nieces mine youngest one has now every day she calls me and we play play dolls and she just puts me up in wherever she's playing she gets mad if i don't answer the phone and you know they can spell they're going to first grade so she can spell so she just like puts it because i don't know think she knows where the space bar is on the keyboard and so she'll just send me a one message that's all like why are you not answering the phone right now and then she has to tell me good night at the end of the night but yesterday she was playing she was like do you want to play barbies or you want to play baby doll and i was like baby doll and so so she picks up the baby and she goes this is baby melissa and then i had it throughout this

thing i had a birthday and then a new baby came and she goes this is baby megan as in my sister megan i got excited and then birthday she doesn't know you so i'm sorry but we have the same name so i still can get excited yeah yeah yeah and then this is baby melanie so we were just playing your life story life yeah and then it got to just like what we were having for breakfast every day and then she was making something else and she was like what are you allergic to and i said nothing and she said what is making allergic to and i said nothing and she goes well melanie's allergic to pineapples because that's her mother she's like she's allergic to pineapples so she can't have this and i was like okay that's so cute yeah we're having a good time but it's so cute

i love that i was wondering what age of dogs i know lol dolls are still really big she plays with that too but that was actually like that was as she was telling me she goes this was my big sister's doll though but she was playing with an lol doll yeah i think that that's like a slightly older age range of it but god like i love when they're like kids are just so chatty and like they become like real they stop being like blobs and they become like real humans like i love that that's so so cute my like my niece her vocabulary has exploded like she's just and she's two but she just literally ran up when we went to her brother's baseball game just like runs up to me throws her arms around me and is like wants me to hold her the whole time and then was like

aunt megan drive in our car her mom was like no aunt megan is gonna drive with uncle mott's and they'll meet us at our house she goes no uncle mott's drive uncle mott's car aunt megan come in come in little red car and i was like there's actually no there's no room and like but uh me here his car seat here to her brother aunt megan and i'm like love you to death girl i can't fit in the middle seat between your car seats i'm i'm good but she was just like so so cute and so funny and just like just chatting about everything and i love that that phase of like oh we're having like full-blown conversations and like just talking about random things and it's so fun because like yeah they go from being like little loafs that you like try and coax words out of

to them being like hello pick up the phone why aren't you responding yes and it's like with her with miney she she she was like she would talk but she was slower to like do that but now like her vocabulary is so big like she'll say words and i'm like how do you know what that word is yeah and then uh she's also very good at math problems too she loves doing math she does it with her brother who is don't say how old he is that's gonna ruin my life well i'm just saying he's uh four years older than her yes so he like teaches her how to do his math work and she like sat there with me and we were doing math problems together too i'm like how do you know this and because she sits with her brother and he teaches her how to do it that's so fun god i wish they

lived closer because that is that's my nephew's like favorite thing to do is math and i was like i can't help you with that but like go for it have fun um so i asked you had told me to ask if there was like a uh kindergarten graduation coming up and i was like oh good call and so i asked and my sister-in-law was like uh i don't i don't think so i actually don't know but they don't they go to school she said through like mid-june and so i was like oh okay so she's like maybe there's something but i don't know but she was like he does have like a school play if you guys want to come to that and that's it like at night and i was like oh my god yeah i want to come and i asked him who he's playing and he goes captain hook and i go i'm so sorry

cap the titular character you're playing captain hook so i guess it's not peter pan it's like some other kind of thing but then i asked him just like gauge because i didn't want to like you know big wow you're so good because i don't want to you know it's it's everybody there are no there are no small parts only small actors but i was asking him like what his friends were and they were like pirate number two and like ship hand and i was like oh my god i i think you've got like stuff to do and so i don't know what kind of play it's going to be but she sent us the information and i'm like oh my fucking god i cannot wait to see this every time he talks about this i go you know who you know who did a lot of plays growing up here i'm banging so if you have any questions

i'm fucking here for it like love i will die if he gets into theater and i do think that if he does his mom was into like uh like production like stagehand like that kind of stuff but if he does get into it or what she does now yeah total sense but if he gets into like performing and like acting like doing plays i will take all the motherfucking credit because I have had that boy doing dance parties like since he could before he could walk like when I would just watch him when he was a loaf of a baby I just hold him and dance and sing to him and then as he got older was able to like stand and walk and crawl we've been doing that and we still do it like every time we're there like to this day and I'm like wow I I really got you on this yeah we

have a whole choreographed dance to love on top like he I've helped I've shaped your brain to be able to do muscle memory with choreography so could be cool could be cool oh so speaking of fires got a notification this morning from what from who from citizen that's it i thought you meant like on your door like it was a personal notification okay no uh that said man attempting to start a fire 400 feet away from you. Okay. And I was like, hold up. The fuck? What? And I look at where it is

quite literally. Like, I should be able to, like, almost see it. Like, I should be able to see a pool of stuff. And you got the notification telling you go film this. Yes, I did. They were like, hey, boots on the ground. We've got your phone. Take that camera. Open. Go live. Wanna go live? Yeah. Um, I was

panicked because I was like, and I called Mons because he had just left for work. And he was like, are you gonna go over there and look? And I was like, I was calling you. So I resisted the urge to walk over there and look. I thought that's exactly the opposite of what you want me to do. He goes, well, I don't want you to do it. And I was like, I guess, why don't you bring that up? But then finally someone commented on it, like after like five or 10 minutes being like just off by fire trucks, like, holy shit, like hope that like, and it seems like crisis averted, but God, that is obviously like the initial fires are horrible,

but arson is contagious. Like as soon as they see a little bit of fire, they go, gotta start another one i gotta start a fire now even though the first ones are oftentimes not started but like it'll be just weather related random but god damn it these fucking arsonists who are like now i'm into it and this is the third fire someone has tried to start in the area and like only a couple miles like two miles away or something someone it was like a another fire like two fires that someone said i was like stop and also i've got to know if like people like to say that the uh the entirety of the homeless population are arsonists it's mostly firefighters and i'm like is there not a test to like suss that out to be like if you i love fire so much

i'm gonna fight it i know and i'm like i get a lot of notifications it'll be like person starting fire on the corner and it's like the person that has a taco stand is starting a fire god the way i wish it was that i would have walked over there and be like hey what you got right can i place an order for pickup why are you why are you putting this on here no the level of so the issue that we have in our neighborhood is someone calling in gunshots when someone brings their trash cans in and i go man that those aren't those aren't gunshots by the way if you heard that many consecutive gunshots people would be screaming like an entire block would be dead that's like 45 and it's moving too so like and i'm like are you living in like there's no way if you genuinely

thought someone just fired an entire round out and you're just like sitting inside your home being like okay you're not gonna step out be like oh i'm concerned for like the well-being and safety of my neighborhood i'm like no you're just like addicted to calling 9-1-1 like they do it for fireworks for cars backfiring for people cheering loudly for people clapping they're like oh gunshots and i'm like my god you i worry for when there is a gunshot you don't know what it actually sounds like pisses me off me too most of the notifications are very dumb oh yeah very dumb my favorite is always um when they are like a group of of 10 of 35 people battling at a taco bell and i go like a dance battle right what do you mean like a battle or they like make an estimate

of a very large number i go well that's not a headcount number like you that was a general guess of a number you sat there and we're like and like what what in any means like makes you be like that's a suspiciously large group of people so like i'm actually gonna call the police what i'm always like what are they waiting for for me i'm always like is there a new thing is there something dropping is there like an event no no must call the police they're battling how Okay. All right. Well, we're going to take a break. And when we get back, we'll hear this long awaited update. I'm excited. free drive extraordinary let's take the cadillac find out more at cadillac canada.ca luxury sales claim based on s&p global mobility canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025

for the cadillac definition of luxury all right we're back and uh we've got an update from who we've uh named the co-sucker so if you're new here this person used to work at ace i don't remember if they told us or we just concluded that it was a cell phone store i think they told us they used to work at a cell phone store if not i made that up and if we did make it up we definitely specifically made up they worked at radio chat and so they were at the cell phone store and it was them and a male co-worker and a female co-worker this person went to go see wicked with their female co-worker and I don't know if they

were inspired by the eroticism in that film. Mm-hmm. The sapphic undertones. Actually, the sapphic overtones of that film. And then they went back to the cell phone store and then this person,

our caller, they were first the lookout person while the female and male co-workers were hooking up but then eventually they joined in in the fun and it should be noted that everyone besides the um co-sucking co-worker was in fact married or had a child yeah and in relationships they were both in relationship also the male co-worker claimed that they were in an open

relationship but they could only get their dicks up so they could not go down or have sex with anybody oh yeah which is very typical boundaries set in heteronormative relationships and being like hey you can totally get your dick sucked but i don't i don't want those lips touching no other lips yep and this continued for a while uh and then i think was it around christmas again maybe making that up but uh at some point the uh wife of the male co-worker found out and kicked him out and i believe the caller uh picked them up off a curb also the female co-worker ended things with in their relationship too and also this person had previously called talking about how they live with their brother and they couldn't bring it was odd bringing people back home

so they they sought sexual activity at the workplace so i think they've called three or four times and now thank you so much for hearing my call for an update from you because it's been a minute and you should listen to the original calls and like you should just know that like we have such a fond place in our heart for this caller like we we love them and there's something like one of our favorite things is people who make absolutely insane choices knowing how insane they are and then who have no shame about them afterwards and must discuss them like i'm very casual about yes i live for those kinds of people who are like i made a really bad and i knew it was bad decision but like they're not like oh i'm embarrassed let me hide this and i was like no

i consciously made a really a really poor call and like i'll tell you about it like for sure like you know we live and we learn like i love that i love it i also have you saved on our google voice as co-sucker so um i know when when you call so here we go what's up guys it's the co-sucker um life has honestly been very good in the last year i have well let me back up the people that i was co-stucking with that all kind of blew up after christmas like it was christmas okay and in february everybody kind of went separate ways got new jobs switched stores all that good stuff so we haven't really spoken to each other good um other than a handful of times over the last year but i've been good i currently have a girlfriend i'm in a committed relationship

we've been talking since september she asked me to be her girlfriend january 1st so very excited i probably actually do have questions regarding this relationship this one is a new one for me but i'm good i am in the patreon i'll be on the live streams so hell yeah i hope you guys are doing good i'm doing great i'm just checking in because i'm listening to the podcast from um i hate my friends and you guys call me out so hell yeah okay still obsessed with you as i've always been what the fuck do you mean you're in our patreon i have no idea who this is i think i do but they don't talk like they come but they don't i was just about to say i could say someone recently who came and didn't but they've come a few times but they don't

but they don't talk i see and now you understand if you guys haven't listened the other ones you understand they're like cavalier attitude in nature is like something i just like i fucking love like i just i love it i love it so much and uh i do need to know have you told your girlfriend about this this this incident this event you said you had a few questions ask yeah and that's my first question and my question is have you told them about it and have they heard the podcast episode yep episodes because i was gonna say that actually is probably like a great way to do it to be like oh yeah fun fact i did this i i talked about it on a podcast if you want to if you want to hear because we're not shame we don't shame you you know i mean like it's it comes it's

all in good fun but my god i just i love this for you i i love that it's like oh we haven't really talked for like you know occasionally i'm like i wonder what everybody else's families are like Yeah, you say they switched stores. So do you all still work for the same company? Um, holiday parties. If that happens and you bring a girlfriend, you definitely got to give a heads up. Wow. God, I just I just I love your I love I love your vibe. I've always loved your vibe. It's it's it's elite. It's so good. And yeah, we're big fans here. Just know that. thank you so much and now we have a singular it's a singular sucker co-sucker has our liquor yeah yeah yeah but you also can like suck face you know yeah that too yeah so happy for you i can change your i can change your name no no you're it's iconic it's so iconic it is it's the best it is the absolute fucking best and also don't worry you do not have to reveal yourself

in the patreon that's no no no that's totally okay but it's just good to know all right well thank you so much to everyone that called in thank you for listening uh join us on thursday where we will be discussing one of our favorite movies someone great it's so fucking good yeah so just come watch it if you haven't and you'll love it also when i had started watching it on netflix it was like 75 done so i was like what did one day i just turned it on and didn't finish watching it okay but i love this movie megan loves this movie um so uh just just hear us love on this movie and then next week we'll be back for a new episode for don't blame me on monday Bye.

Bye. This is a Sister Sign production hosted by me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa D. Montz, plus Diamond Imprint Productions. Post-production by Coco Lorenz. Production assistance by Melanie D. Watson. And music by Ryan Hunter and Giacomo Picasso.