Don't Blame Me! - Smash or Pass Christmas Food

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

Melisa is deep into holiday/birthday parties in Arkansas and Meghan is prepping for her trip to Colorado. They then take a Buzzfeed quiz on holiday foods and rave about their love of Schär foods. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back we've well me trying to come up with a good way to tie in the title as the intro of uh i don't need you to try that hard we saw you last tuesday we said we said we'd see you next tuesday and and here we are we made it did you not think we would i'm just saying we made it everybody made it some people didn't make it to see another day well that is so fucking dark one of my favorite soap opera actresses just died so i'm in a dark place oh oh oh the okay the actual person died not yeah character not the character damn i'm sorry yeah how's reddit how's the community taking it very hard hmm i feel like soap actors like live longer than like most people

well she was only 55 so oh wow well maybe it's because i you you you picture a lot of like what you've told me a lot yeah they've been on for so like their careers are so long so it feels like you know it's like when people post their pregnancy every day and you're like have you been pregnant for like five years but it's just because right they've been on your radar for a very long time yeah like john aniston jennifer aniston's dad just died a few weeks ago and he's like 90 something so and they he's on days of our lives and they film six months in advance so he's still gonna be on the show for a little bit which is just a little unnerving you know that yeah that is

you know i understand production wise like i get it but it is it's not insensitive it just feels weird it's just weird it's just weird well sorry to bring it down y'all it'll be a fun episode i promise i we can ensure that because before we start recording i was like melissa let's do like a fun quiz or do something and we found the absolute perfect thing that we're gonna do but should we end with that do you want to start with that you you said you had some holiday things you wanted to yeah i mean holiday ish but just you know i'm here in arkansas with the family and it was a long weekend because we had three birthday celebrations oh my gosh in case y'all i mean y'all can't see it's not a video that's why

i turned it off i was like i'll put it on for megan has her frame tv now and so i just feel like even though she turned around and turned it off it just felt like a flex well that's just what happens when you're living with a frame tv it's just naturally a flex why don't you just keep it on maybe i was enjoying it uh it's not about you melissa it's about appearances it's about me and you should be you know trying to still make good appearances to me all these years later i'm so sorry that ship has low wow wow the romance is gone it is romance is dead we've been married for so long sorry go continue um first started off the weekend by one of my um little uh gals that i grew up with she was a lot younger than me i was closer in age to her older siblings

but she just graduated from college very excited for her my mom since now she's a doctor got to hand her her degree at the ceremony um but uh they were having a graduation celebration that started at we had a stacked day we had three two birthday parties that day on saturday and also her birthday was the day before too so it was a very busy time but she's having a birthday celebration i mean a graduation celebration and um me and my mom get there right on time and then as we're parking in the parking lot they say hey we're running a few minutes behind we're like okay and they said an hour and we were like an hour it's not a full a few minutes behind so we couldn't go so and we were also like it was kind of far out from

where the university is where we live so it was a trek so we were far out but it was where my favorite donut place is and i was like i'm gonna risk it for the didn't get too bad yeah it wasn't too bad okay essentially yeah i mean it's like i i'm i'm a classic i love a good glazed donut i also got one that was covered in chocolate and um but when i came home my dad had ate it so i didn't get to enjoy the chocolate one but that was that made up for it i said a win is a win then we had to drive to um audrey's party which was uh a painting party and i was the only adult that was wanted to paint again i had fun um there's a photo of me well i guess it's gone because it was in my stories but i was holding my

painting proudest could be as the only adult no i had a mini photoshop i need you to post all of those photos on your grid because like if people didn't find like first of all the world deserves to see them but like it is as if someone wrote in a sitcom like when your rich auntie from la comes to visit like it is literally like you look fabulous like you are just like exuding luxury and like if i was a kid there i would have been like oh my god i want to be her when i grew up like you were just like you were it like you you were it and it was so fucking good so i think i think they deserve a static yeah i'll post it and then i went to some event with my mother that i still don't understand quite what it was she was schmoozing to get people to donate to

things but for some reason the Pringles man was there Melissa you have driven in the Wienermobile so the idea that the Pringles man would then be at a party with the same at the party that you were invited to by the woman who's the reason why you drove in the Wienermobile it all makes perfect sense to me I don't know why you're confused I I just don't understand I still like they were like this is an event center that's going to be hosting something that I know walmart and tyson are funding but i don't i still don't understand what it is the pringles was was sponsored by hot ones and they've got like hot ones pringles coming out and you could do some challenges that you have to wear gloves for because they had ghost pepper in the pringles and

i was like no thank you but event it was an event it was an event yeah and we didn't even stay for the whole thing because then my oldest niece erla had her sweet 16 party and so then went to that so it was a long saturday saturday and then sunday we went to the trampoline park and i was doing some dunks like no i wasn't the only adult i was the only adult really going all that extensive cheerleading background maybe no because melanie tried to do a back tuck and land on her face so you're just a better cheerleader i didn't try to do any flips that's the difference you knew your limits yes i knew my limits i was doing you know some toe touches and things but i also did some dumps on the basketball hoop it was pretty fun i saw was i sore the next day yes was it worth it

also yes when i tell you that like i fucking love those places like i haven't been maybe i don't want to say maybe ever like i think i went to one when i was like definitely too old um but now i would love to go all the time like i just feel like if there was like a like a like a membership like fuck fuck a gym membership i want like a trampoline it's the same when we were talking about having a bouncy house same feeling exactly when we were like should we just buy a bouncy house was that on recorded did people hear us yeah about that yeah okay good because we do talk about some weird ass fucking things offline as well we do yeah i just have to make a joke about the nepo baby thing but i was like maybe i should use

save that for a hot take go for it wow you are do you have a ton more stuff to do like is that did you like front load your trip or do you now have to like go into like holiday party shit and all that social stuff there's still other stuff to happen like i was supposed to go to the children's holiday party on monday morning but one first of all they usually have them at the end of the day I don't know why they were early this year I think the teachers were done and just wanted people to take their kids out of school and they just didn't want anything else because most of the kids were checked out but I had to stay since I was very busy I had to post all and review all the episodes that had to go out on Monday so I was up to four o'clock this

time finishing things so I didn't get I was tired and couldn't go to the holiday party but I still have um a um what I have I have another birthday party for a you know friend who I say that their child is my nephew and then I'm seeing a couple more friends and stuff so there's still stuff to do but and my mom's birthday is on january 2nd but megan is having a surgery so we have to um not this megan my sister megan so we're celebrating her birthday early um also elective surgery so don't be worried um but um you're such a bitch i'm just saying it's just so like no no no if i was just casually saying she was having a surgery so i didn't want people to think that i was overcompensated by being so casual saying i'd like to surgery like don't worry about her

i meant it in a way of like i'm saying casually she's having a surgery like yeah yeah yeah yeah backtracking that casual yes yeah um so um we're celebrating my mom's birthday early so there's still a lot to do before i leave how's your weekend um good what did i even the fucking did i even do i mean so we leave for colorado tomorrow so uh it was a lot of you know packing planning i finally got my fucking video up it took forever and a half mostly because I had been vlogging since Thanksgiving so I have all these clips that I didn't use because it was three hours before I got into the stuff that I actually used so it was six hours total of footage so naturally it just involved every single day

me transferring files onto an external hard drive my computer it's like hating me it's like please take us in for a service so i'm trying to figure out what i'm going to do with like any of those clips like if i should do anything with them or just like you know save them for my documentary or just like literally never upload them like whatever put them on your um second channel that doesn't have anything on anymore just do like a dump hey it's not a bad idea um and so then it was a lot of like packing and shit cleaning what else did i there was something else i did on saturday what did we we did we went we like we did something what did we do did we go somewhere did we not what i don't know but i've been sleeping a lot

um no we actually have not gone to lowe's the past two weekends so it's probably you've had a visitor before so that doesn't actually count we almost went though so but we didn't um but yeah I've been sleeping a lot because my sleep schedule is just I don't know when it started up like it is 3 a.m. is the earliest I will go to bed so like I'm going to bed between 3 and 4 a.m. so I would finally caught up on some sleep and yeah just like planning shit for our trip the wildest thing I look up the weather and Mats is from Denver originally and that's like you know I look up the weather there I look up the weather in Bailey where the mountain house is and then we'll look up weather in Vail all these other places and then we look

at like the weather in Vail and you know different places to you know double check and I look at Denver weather and I let out an audible gasp I was like this has to be a fucking fluke Thursday so today we're recording this this is Tuesday and it comes out on a Tuesday but this is going to be for the previous thursday by the time you're listening to this the high negative one degree the low negative 13 degrees and then there's like this news report that places in denver like it could get up to like or down to negative 50 and it's going to be the lowest like the coldest day in denver in the last like 30 years and i'm like it's nationwide they're calling it a um winter bomb or some shit like that but on thursday it's going to be coldest

that it's been everywhere i just and so it's hitting about weather so i'm like i know who decided this and like how do we know it's only gonna be one day like how are we but that's like they're calling it a bomb like that's when it's hitting i'm like can we come up with another word for this because also because what's the shrapnel because like if you're thinking i i'm what are the lasting effects of that like bombs yeah don't just it's gonna be negative three here you know what they should use a flash mob that should be what it is if that's if it's just like it's coming and going quickly but don't give me like a comparison of something that is shrapnel so i'm dying like just thinking about how cold and everything is going to be but i'm so looking

forward to going we did panic and realized like should we fly like driving might actually suck and the reason why we were initially driving is because matz hit was returning his car to the car couldn't return his car to the car dealership and get his new car and so we're driving it there and then driving the new car back car's not going to be ready but we just found that out and so it was like hmm and then it was like well do we want to spend like seven to nine hundred dollars on a flight not really so be careful though yeah we're timing are y'all leaving pretty early tomorrow yeah we're leaving pretty early and we split it up over two days so um we're going to make the second day what we messed well not we messed up but the last time like i think we got on the road

a little too early and so we want to basically get on the road a couple hours after it snows so the snow plows have come through but i think last time we got on the road a little too early on the second day and then we were the roads had shut down because the snow plow was coming but we were ahead of the snow plow and so we're like well fuck damn so that was brutal and we're gonna take our time I'm gonna drive when the sun is out I'm gonna I'm like ready for it all but uh it's I brought some weed gummies afterwards for Mons and I like kind of want to give him like a uh like a I wish I could give him like a a tranquilizer or like put his body in like amniotic fluid and just have him float and relax afterwards because he gets so anxious which rightfully so because we had

traumatizing times that we've driven before yeah so that has been what's been happening so pretty excited can't wait holly jolly festive hopefully we'll have some snow if there's no snow there's 100 gonna be snow on thursday everywhere good i am just annoyed because i have this theory or this feeling that if it is below if it is below 50 degrees and it's not sunny it should be snowing or raining but if it's 50 degrees it's not in a stick no but what's that we're not talking about science and logic and how this would practically work i'm just saying it's just rain at that vibes it's just rain if it's under 50 overcast at any fucking temperature it should be raining like i just like sun needs to be hot overcast rain hold overcast i'll agree

with that that's what it should be that's always what it should be like i'm fine with like a summer summer showers but like don't give me summer showers like here i'm just saying fuck rainbows i don't need the rainbows they're whatever i mean the rainbows were god's promise that he would never flood the earth again actually that's don't come from my culture as an irish person the leprechaun that's not coming for your culture that is in the bible and a lot of people in ireland are irish catholics so it's still part of the culture but where are the leprechauns on which day did god create the leprechauns and did noah put the leprechauns on the ark guess not because where are they now it's a good fucking question it's a good fucking question

yeah i should know more about like irish catholic because that's what my dad was raised but um he refers to it as uh recovering irish yeah it makes sense yeah when nuns beat you at school and that's like allowed i i don't think many people come out of that with a strong sense of like faith and a positive view of that religion you know yeah well should we get into oh yeah our uh little segment for today and should we do the i guess we can include the link in the show notes in the show notes if you guys want to follow along or you can just you know listen and follow along with us but this is a buzzfeed kind of quiz and it is smash or pass on 19 classic christmas foods i'm excited for this do you have are you ready yes

first up we have roast beef smash or pass smash the fuck out of roast beef smash the fuck out of it I I couldn't tell you exactly which kinds of beef or what like I'm just like there's certain whatever but I just know if it's not gray and it's not like all the way like brown and it's not being served in the grocery I don't want I don't want a deli meat beef but this yeah yeah I hate when like people like I don't like don't come for me like Philly cheesesteak people I know phillies a little little proud of that but i just don't like shaved meat like that i mean i'll but give me a roast but give me a roast beef especially if you put in a pot roast with some gravy and some you cook the vegetables put the potatoes and carrots and maybe some squash

in there with it a juicy beef i'm i'm here for juicy beef and if it's pre-packaged no like that that's why i that's why you need the cheese on a philly cheesesteak do you want to read the next step or do you want me to do it i'll do it gingerbread cookies honestly decorating smash eating pass oh i will smash both i will smash both i personally prefer a soft gingerbread cookie not a crunchy one if i'm gonna go for a crunchy cookie i'm gonna go for a and my fellow dutch people don't come for me for the pronunciation i've heard it being some americanized version i think it's pfeffernuts and i think pfeffernuts is the more we could be wrong but if i want if i want like that kind of like flavor profile of a

cookie that has a little more of a bite that is what I want delicious they're fine but I'm not gonna sit up and cook them myself like if they're offered somewhere I'll eat them but I'll never make them unless somebody I love just really wants them and I'll make it make it for them this is like I'm desperately trying to find a gluten-free gingerbread cookie recipe that I can make but I also will have to plan ahead um in high altitude baking which has not turned out good for me so far yeah i you should get on the um old recipe subreddit because they have a lot of recipes that were made during wars where things were yes i fuck with a great and so there's a lot of creativity in these recipes no and so there's there's yeah what's

it called i think it's called old recipes that has 200 members are you sure hold on I will maybe I'm spelling receipts how do you let me get the exact name old underscore r-e-c-i-p-e-s old underscore oh there it is joined yeah yeah i as a i mean obviously you know how i feel about a um a trauma induced recipe as someone who's one of her favorite meals is corned beef yeah and cabbage like yes so people not only like are there you know trauma recipes but also people will change it and be like here's what i did to make it gluten-free and stuff so it'll it's it's

been i made the i don't know if i told you about it but i made a cinnamon roll cake that i found on here that had gone viral and i made it gluten-free and it was after i saw somebody give the the um substitutions and it was perfect wow nobody i gave it to thought it was gluten-free i love when that happens yeah next up we know how you feel about this oh yeah we have eggnog smash or pass oh i am fucking smashing to eternity and i am passing passing passing the only time i've ever had eggnog and i probably brought this up to you it was the first alcohol i ever drank i snuck some really really really heavily spiked eggnog at a christmas party or the christmas my my christmas party when i was in sixth grade and i had two sips it was disgusting poured it down

the toilet afterwards and then pretended went on aim and pretended i was drunk sounds about right a lot of uh people are now making it with oat milk so i'm very excited about this i saw someone make one on like recipe fails and it literally looked like egg drop soup and i was like makes me crave egg drops egg drop soup but like that's not that's not what we're going for so if y'all want to hear more about my thoughts about this listen to but am i wrong you'll have to go to the archived episodes um and i it would have been around this time ish but as i said then eggnog is the greatest creation that white people ever did so delicious it's a short list oh next one controversial glazed ham it is me but you know i'm we can share this we

glazed ham delicious smash think about it on a hawaiian roll melissa you know that there's only one where i'm eating glazed ham and i've said this over and over again it's on a but it's it's during the summer i'm only gonna do it i'm only gonna do glazed ham i'm thickly sliced don't give me a thin slice a thickly sliced glazed ham on a hawaiian roll with store-bought walmart potato salad on the hawaiian roll then the ham on top and i'm only eating it during the summer and then i'm finishing off with a carvel cake and i'm only doing it at my grandma's house but like any other time of year any any other context and take take me out take me out of monroville pennsylvania no i'll eat it in pittsburgh it's technically that i'll eat it in philly but like

you you put me anywhere else i'm not doing that i only like it at christmas time ham is not something i just go out and buy but at christmas time if there's a glazed ham i'm gonna eat it i'm gonna eat it and you're gonna fight over someone in the grocery store like christmas with the crank it's not that serious yeah i don't i'm not i'm not a ham girly i'm not a ham girly it's salty i know but i do love i do love spam and i do love um ham hock in other things like put it in split pieces of collard greens like i'm i like i love that but i don't yeah it's too flavor all right the next i don't remember whose time it is we'll just keep going fruitcake definitely pass definitely pass i've never had it but looking at it now

i think that the the green kind of colorings i think it just kind of needs a rebrand because at the end of the day why would it taste bad like it's a pound cake and then you have like dried fruits and stuff like that should be good whatever what is the green fruit no that's the issue is i think that they're picking the wrong dried fruits like i think you could do a good imagine dried cherries i hate cherries okay well if you did like a i mean you know how i feel about raisins but we you could do some good ones i do wonder if the green if like i don't know mint jelly isn't that in a christmas song that sounds about right but i don't know what that really green thing is i'm looking up recipes for um fruit cake and it doesn't seem like anybody's

including whatever the green thing is so maybe it's maybe it's been changed i just think like in theory delicious in practice and how pictures look it looks like vomit so i think if we we did a more cohesive color scheme it would be nice like it's like an all-natural funfetti it shouldn't It's got finely diced, crystallized ginger in it, which already passed. What's the green stuff? I'm Googling. What is green stuff in fruitcake? Oh.

Paradise green candied cherries. Yeah. Okay. I take it back. if these are all candied i'm not into that if we just do dried fruit in a pound cake not bad then it's not a fruit cake anymore something new it's a cake with fruit then we've got hot cocoa smash obviously i've literally had it every single day that i've been here it's so good and before i i wouldn't i don't want to say i could eat dairy

but i was eating dairy and the consequences weren't um so rapid sudden long or intense i fuck i fucked with the starbucks hot cocoa is really fucking good just get it with a different milk though no i know but like they used to make it with like a whole milk delicious thing and i even i had a friend growing up her mom would do it with like would do part like half and half and cream oh my god a good hot cocoa or dutch sipping chocolate delicious yeah i had um at the uh event with the pringles man they had onyx coffee was there and they were making hot cocoa and i was like put oat milk in it and um my friend that was with me she didn't know i had told them that and so i i meant just for mine but they put it in both of them and so she was drinking she's like

oh my gosh this is the best hot cocoa i've ever had and i was like yeah the oat milk really gives a little and she's like there's oat milk in here and i say oh yeah oh so good i really want to make i was like i was a big hot cocoa girly like after dinner every night for a while i you know i have those um cbd hot cocos that i drink half the week so i'm thinking that i'm gonna add this to our grocery list when we get to colorado yeah oh next up variation why this shouldn't be a separate thing i do have different feelings about it though peppermint hot chocolate so i i put some peppermint in that hot chocolate that i had the other day still delicious i had i had like half of it was regular and then i stuck a peppermint in it the refrigerator and then had like a cold

hot chocolate the next thing with the peppermint that's good i think that's the only way i could do it is like uh the residual hot chocolate left over i'll throw a little peppermint in it but i i'm i i like i like just the original i like it just how it is peppermint is not that's not my it's not peppermint hot chocolate is not my number one i'm not gonna just go for it but i'm not gonna say no if it's offered that's also probably true all right next one depends on the holiday this says christmas edition so since it's christmas pass you have to say it's turkey it's turkey i am honestly fine i'm a smash because i'm okay with turkey from thanksgiving until december 25th after the 25th like put it on a sandwich or i'm done like

i don't i don't want that but i'm only okay with a whole turkey on thanksgiving and on either christmas day or christmas eve like not a double whammy and then use the leftovers like i used the leftovers to put in a pot pie and then i did something like a soup or whatever so i'll do that but i i can smash it on christmas but then i shouldn't see a whole turkey until the following thanksgiving no the picture that they use looks dry as hell why are there grapes so i'm after um this sunday of thanksgiving i don't want to see it again until next year at thanksgiving no turkey for me well i have to eat something because i'm eating a glazed ham i mean there as i said in my holiday rants on but am i wrong last week for christmas

christmas is the time to experiment with all the meats christmas is the time to get freaky get freaky with your meat oh yeah who read it last one i did the last oh yes next up we have mulled wine i'm just going to have to pass based on the fact that i have never had it i made it one year and the i don't know if i'm pronouncing it correctly anise a star anise anise some people yeah that thing yeah um i'm not a fan of the flavor of it and that's like the main star of the drink and i don't like that flavor i saw some cookies the other week that were being made on tiktok and they look like the soft they were mix between soft and crunchy and i was like oh i'm gonna make some of those and i looked up the

restaurant the recipe and that's the and whatever i was like i'm gonna have to find some other flavoring to put in there and make it but then it won't be the traditional cookie so then i feel like i'm disrespecting the culture but i have to pass on this awesome it's anise i just looked it anise okay anise i think i would like in theory i love like i love warm cider and so i don't like alcohol so to me i'm just like oh well if it didn't have alcohol in it and it was cider and i'm like oh but megan that already exists yeah and cider has a little to it and the mulled wine it's just it's just warm wine with some fruit in it oh it's like warm sangria yes yeah pass that's disgusting yes that's disgusting yeah no no no no next up peppermint bark

i would say smash previously in my life but i definitely ate way too fucking much of it and it's kind of one of those things that has been ruined for me so it's gonna be a pass now um I also think I might have gotten sick after eating it one time and or like I hadn't stomach it you know how three musketeer bars have been ruined what else was ruined for you corn dogs there you go yeah I think I I did too much peppermint for me it's a pass because I hate white chocolate and I as i've stated before on some episode white chocolate looks like bird shit and should be treated as such and if we're treat if peppermint bark is supposed to look like candy trees because that's what i think of when i look at a tree maybe it's supposed to stand for snow but i just think

that fungus know that a bird shit on a branch so if it hasn't been ruined for you uh before that probably will ruin it for you now next up we have mashed potatoes smash smash smash if i had a dick i would stick in mashed potatoes that would be like it would feel so good i know right like yeah it's kind of like a pillowy face mask like for your dick i should ask mozzie but it would get in all the crevices think of all the dick cheese you'd get yeah you'd have to put on that's a condom yeah but then i don't think you'd get like that same feeling i would literally really now you heard it here first megan is a person is that's anti-condom that says you can't get the same feeling wow no what i'm saying though is i would literally if i had a dick i would like

i would bury my dick in mashed potatoes like i'm building a fucking sand castle like i would like i would i would just i would wrap i wouldn't just i wouldn't like sure maybe i'd fuck it i don't know but like i would just want to fully submerge my dick like i want to pack it all nice and tight i can see that potato and then dip your balls in the gravy so you can taste it exactly anyone if you have a dick let us know have you ever had the desire to put it in mashed potatoes and if you have let us know would you recommend the experience all right then next we've got frosted sugar cookies smash why here's the thing

do i like the frosting on top no but the way that the frosted sugar cookies are prepared the cookie beneath is like the softest cookie sugar cookie there is and so i will just eat the sugar cookie around the frosting so the picture that they're using is the loft house or walmart famous frosted cookies i think it's the loft house brand is that a walmart brand isn't it i don't know if it's a walmart brand but walmart does have a brand of sugar cookies that they're pretty well known for yeah yeah so i don't know if loft house is a walmart brand but like that's like they're the loft house cookies like every everyone knows i don't know who loft house is i just know it's walmart i personally i i think this is a hot take and which is wild that i think

i really hate those kinds of cookies and that is a little wild considering i love um circus cookies like those like those are crunchy coated ones exactly and they also live a leave a film on the whole inside of your mouth yep they do I just really don't like the I think if they package them maybe a little bit differently but I do think that they kind of take on a little bit of a plasticky flavor and I just I'm not a fan but I am a fan of frosted sugar like homemade frosted sugar cookies especially ones that when I make mine I do yes vanilla but I also add an almond extract so there's like a little bit more flavor profile there it's not just overly sweet which I think is this and I also prefer a frosting that has that that's not so soft like that kind of

frosting you you scrape it off and again I would put that frosting on my dick like it is it's like a mashed potato consistency and that's not what i like for frosting my frosting needs to add a little bit of a like a bite in when it's paired with that thing oh yeah i don't need frosting on any cookie period but again just the i'm gonna eat the cookie around it and they're so fucking pretty so that i they should be i don't think we should i'm not here to cancel loft house cookies but i think i prefer the the cute decorated ones and shapes and fun stuff all right candy canes smash smash i like to suck them into a point and then poke people with them

but i also hate how sometimes they'll they'll cut your tongue i have bled many a time from making my peppermint what is my candy chip that's literally what i'm saying i have done it many of time I loved candy canes like I used to be like that kind of was my thing in middle school in high school but like specifically middle school like winter would come around and I was it's as if like there was like a young coming of age movie about someone around the holidays where like I just always was like sacking on a candy cane like you just like caught me every day like oh look at her she's so quirky with her candy cane and I loved them and Mott's he got into i think he got them last year the year before but we've gotten like a couple different ones

this year that he's loved of um the like starburst flavor oh my gosh the starburst flavor are next world yeah he loves them they're so good so i feel like they're just they're great and i think we should have something similar more similar like year-round you know next up cranberry sauce big fan over here big big fan smash but here's my question if you don't want turkey what are you putting what do you like cranberry sauce okay so but what other things like what do you need in order for you to want cranberry sauce dressing just dressing that's it and if there's no dressing you don't want the cranberry sauce no okay the idea of cranberry sauce on the same plate as ham is like actually repulsive to me not for me too not at all too sweet all of them together well

i guess glazed ham specifically um i'm if it's with turkey i'm smashing it if i have a potato know i'll smash it um and if i have stuffing or dressing i will also smash it yeah i'm putting putting it on what the next one the next thing pigs in a blanket pigs in a blanket we fucking love pigs in a blanket this is a smash 365 days i didn't know this was who who only this is a holiday food so i don't think of it i think of it as like tailgate food but not like christmas food similar to a cabbage she's a shapeshifter like i think she is ready for any event like i think i had pigs in a blanket at sleepovers like yes one of those things that

it's like if you i think pigs in a blanket the only right criteria for most people is that there are more than 10 people in attendance and you need an appetizer like it then then pigs in a blanket is perfect for the occasion I fucking love it I specifically oh maybe here's the distinction for me a tailgate pigs in a blanket you dip into yellow mustard a holiday pigs in the blanket you dip into Dijon mustard see I'm only a Dijon mustard fan so I prefer Dijon all year again all year round for me oh and only was it last week something like that where i told you it was like bitch the fucking bread branch i keep wanting to say shiz that's like the shoe brand what is it score i think it's s-c-h-o-r sure gluten char s-c-h-a-r if anyone knows how to pronounce

that oh there's an umlaut i definitely am pronouncing this wrong it's char you kind of like the scars car yeah i don't know scotch what i'm trying so it's that gluten-free brand i love everything i've ever tried from that for from them and i recently found out that they have puff pastry and i told melissa and you're like sick and i was like that you're not understanding the excitement of this that means that we can make pigs to blink and eat them for lunch when we record the podcast they also make a kit kat looking thing melissa they have graham crackers they have a baguette i mean the they have lady fingers i could have an icebox cake can you tell which one of the sides of my family i got from each there's one me saying

my walmart potato salad on a hawaiian roll and then the other one is a icebox cake those are why is it when i scroll through here they also have the cheddar bay like they stuck it in here red lobster but you know how we talked about this before in the dairy you actually have to add the cheese so i could have the cheddar bay biscuits i would just have bay biscuits yes i'm fucking into it i'm really fucking into it god i need to get on their website you know what we need a collab of the century we need scar char meets lion rolls and yes like fuck the gucci fendi collab this is what i need i am i didn't know they made they first of all i need uh sprouts to get carry more of their products no you also need to eventually either tell me

what you want me to find for you or you need to go in store because they have far more in store than they show on instacart and gotcha okay walmart i also feel like i could tell sprouts like hey could you get this and they'd be like of course like i don't know why they just feel like i feel like it feels like a hometown story even though it's not they have christine's bitch croissants pan au chocolat oh my god i might just be doing orders from them like wait you can join their club what is that what do we get with that oh my gosh my gosh my gosh join oh oh what do we get lifestyle welcome back well i don't know what it is about us they've got snack cakes like little debbie

oh you're fucking kidding me i was literally telling mobs the other day i was like you have badly i want like we saw a commercial it's like i want that so bad i'm okay okay hey they have fruitcake they have panettone i saw that i saw it oh my i'm not a wafer girl though i don't need any of those wafers oh i am i love wafers entertainment crackers are apparently i saw those on the gluten-free subreddit they're apparently like ritz and i love that they're called entertainment crackers it reminds me of charles entertainment cheese oh my gosh oh i'm yeah we're definitely making an order yeah okay all right um so yes is there more blanket okay next is sticky toffee pudding pass i've made it i haven't tasted it flavor profile wise i think i

would like it i think i would smash it um actually i might take that back there's a lot of i think there's a lot of dates in it and i don't like the flavor of dates too much so i think in theory i would smash but uh based on the pictures i would smash but i think pass based on like the ingredients i'm not a big toffee person yeah if you put salt on it i don't hate it as much okay next we have beef wellington smash smash smash smash smash smash and now that i know about these puff pastries oh my god wellington you pair beef with puff pastry i could eat like i mean like so fucking good and when i watched uh masterchef and found out how to make this there's also like a mushroom like you you cook down mushrooms and essentially it sounds gross

say paste but you use that so you have that umami flavor paired as well fuck yes beef wellington oh i've watched uh um what's his name gordon ramsey gordon ramsey make puff uh beef wellington so many times and then judge other people by the way they make it on tiktok if you don't follow him on tiktok you're missing out he's a joy um but yeah i'm very much to beef wellington maybe that that's i'm yeah i've got to make it i've got to make it now gotta make it all right next is stuffing stuffing itself pass dressing smash smash i'll smash it any iteration actually no not any iteration good stuffing good dressing yeah i will smash regardless and finally fudge it's gonna be a pass for me you don't like sweets no and I definitely tried

to like it like growing up that was like a it was a thing and I just can't I just like can't hang with it I really don't like the texture it's way too sweet for me and it just felt like a shitty version of some of my favorite seas kinds of candies there's a seas that's there I think it sees i think they called it like their butter egg there's like a scotch mallow and then a butter mallow something like that in that i liked so much more and fudge just felt like a shitty version i love fudge it might be like the first sweet that i ever made on my own um i like how heavy it is i like the consistency i like how it just kind of like melts but also kind of collapses in your mouth like put some nuts in there too so good one of my so good not early memories but uh

one of the child's story early child stories of mine i've heard is the first time i ever had anything sweet it was pie and so then i thought anything sweet was pie and there's like this video of me chasing my dad around the house when he has fudge on christmas and i'm like pie pie pie and i sound like the fucking seagulls and finding nemo as i'm just chanting pie pie pie and um i desperately wanted the fudge and i think that they like i'm pretty sure like everyone at the party was like giving me little bits like i was a seagull begging for well there you go but yeah as as i've grown up i'm not too much of a fan there's a lot of things i liked as a kid that i really didn't like into adulthood like cream cheese avocado as soon as i was like

I don't know, probably, like, elementary, middle school, I was, like, yuck, not into those. Delicious. I like guacamole. Delicious for both. Well, actually, I've never been just, like, an avocado fan unless it is guacamole. You used to eat avocados, like, all the time a few years ago. Yeah, that's because I, like, there's only so many foods I can eat that I was, like, I did the same thing. Like, I did the same thing with coffee.

I was, like, I don't want to be that bitch. Like, I don't like being picky. like I don't want to be a bitch who like doesn't like something and it's not that I hate it or I can't stand or it makes me gag I have a couple things like that but I'm like bitch get over it avocados are cool and so I eat them I don't I didn't particularly enjoy them but it's just a vehicle for salt for me for me it's like it's the the the wet thing on something so like you put on a sandwich it makes the sandwich not dry yeah exactly like I like if it brings that thing into it but if you put like an avocado like a perfectly sliced avocado chunk that's not

at all like kind of mashed in a salad it's off-putting it is off-putting and it's turning brown within seconds yeah i i can't have i can't have leftovers you have to eat it all in one sitting if you have it and so it's disgusting no i don't like it blend it up and put it in the dressing if you want to add something to that but like never in my life have i ever been eating a crunchy salad and i'm like you know what this really means like a soft no piece of green like nah not so much well that is our results i'm excited to hear all of yours go comment on our instagram what yours are or send us a message whatever you want to do personally i think you i'll make an instagram post hopefully maybe have you ever made one for the bone the the

extra episodes no but i feel like this would be a good one to start okay and if i don't whatever whatever it happened it didn't it happens or it doesn't happen yeah all right the top comment on this smashing these foods is a one-way ticket to a bacterial infection lol i think i'll just eat them instead so witty so funny i just can't this is why people need hobbies well this is a hobby for some people okay well some people need to do their hobbies quietly without commentary mm-hmm okay all right we're done we'll see you next tuesday Going on vacation?

We're here for it. With kids who turn the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and why watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is a human right. Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that. Because whether it's a road trip or a business trip, where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2%, and your dinner is whatever is open,

yep, here for that too. Enterprise. We're here for it.