Don't Blame Me! - SYNT: Alignment Shenanigans, Villainous Realities, and a Disastrous Birthday

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

This week on See You Next Tuesday, buckle up for a chaotic ride! Melisa needs your help! Dive into the world of Dungeons & Dragons as she enlists listeners to determine her character's true alignment. Will she be a lawful good paladin, a chaotic neutral trickster, or something in between? Meghan takes center stage with a deep dive into the drama and intrigue of the reality show "House of Villains." Get ready for hot takes, insightful analysis, and maybe even a few predictions. Switching gears, the duo analyzes the ever-evolving love lives on "Abbott Elementary." Who is the perfect match for the ever-optimistic Jeanine? Join the discussion and share your thoughts! To wrap things up, Melisa regales the listeners with a hilariously disastrous tale of her recent birthday massage gone wrong. Prepare to cringe and laugh along in equal measure! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I forgot which one was my water bottle and which one was my mic and I didn't do it but I went well you're lucky that it wasn't recording video because I would be using oh no and I literally just like I went through all those emotions of like but it's on video and then I went no there's just audio and i was looking down so i know and i literally like paused and i went why isn't this happening when i think it's supposed to happen i look up and i go it's not my water your mouth isn't even around anything i know i don't know it's like my brain didn't let me like fully commit to it but like it was just very weird how was your break how was your lunch oh wait welcome

hi hello welcome to see you next tuesday um you all should be so upset that we don't record video of this because um i almost i couldn't figure out i had a moment of uh judgment lapse thinking that my water bottle the microphone was my water bottle and i almost tried to suck off the microphone it's not even like you can't you get your mouth around that no i didn't get around it small mouth i understand yeah emily also didn't see it so dodged a bullet what were you saying i say you have a small mouth um how was your lunch my lunch was pretty good i had a tuna sandwich because um i was gonna have a club sandwich or blt but we didn't have the l and the t and so you could have just had bacon

and just a bread meat sandwich which is like not my vibe um so i had a tuna sandwich and it was really good i love remembering to eat like lunch lunch this is like the one day a week i have like real lunch and it's it's great like i feel so much better for the rest of the day i'm like this is great everyone should do this so recommend to everybody have a real lunch and if you have adhd unfortunately chips aren't real lunch because that's usually what i'm like i had some chips i had some chips yeah during that was my snack during the break i love a snack delicious uh homemade parmesan chips damn praying for your butthole i know hey if they're homemade parmesan chips though fucking worth it i know well worth it so um you had something to tell me that you've

been teasing yeah that i need to know yeah you're gonna ask me what i did during my break oh what did you do during your break you just told me you ate parmesan chips yeah but i did more oh okay well that's actually that's crazy to me because all i managed to do was eat my fucking tuna sandwich so sure humble brag you were able to accomplish many tasks i let the dogs out who let the dogs out who i told you that i showed my nephew that song and he was like i don't like this this is scary and so then i was like oh sorry we turned it off and then his mom is like megan i want you to know that all we do around the house is sing who let the dogs out and it's like his hyper fixation right now is just saying oh that's a dog i was like okay sorry well he took

something from it he did um and then as i took the dogs out then the youngest child who's four came same age as your nephew came running around the corner so i guess she wanted to go outside too so then she went outside we were standing outside and then the other kids drove up in the car and i always pictured them in a yellow school bus i don't know why i always picture like places that aren't california like i just like pictured them always like high school in the movies where there's like yellow school but i mean there are school buses they just don't take it um and then me and noah tossed around the old pigskin i'm such an american girl is the usa god bless america um but yes what i wanted to tell you

are you familiar with um let me get the exact name of what this i'm when i tell you i'm on the edge of my seat like it's not that serious but i love when someone like breadcrumbs me a little information and then like i'll tell you that later like it's like finding a snack that you ate and then you like find a little bit of it and you're like oh my god this is like i just i just eat all that stuff up so are you familiar with the uh alignment charts of good verse evil dimension like lawful verse chaotic dimension okay i think of myself as chaotic good i agree thank you um it was brought up on another podcast that i do just between us friends of the pod friends in real life and um

we told the people to write in to tell us what we were and i believe what people wrote in for me and it was like unanimous everybody did it and i believe it is completely wrong so i want i want the listeners of this podcast to write in and let me know am i giving off a false narrative on that show i feel like i'm being myself but i need y'all to write in what you think i am and specifically people on our patreon there's they like if there's anything left to the imagination you're you they're gonna they're brie erica mary if she answers it seriously eric um jenny like also jenny if she answers it seriously but jenny is into because i think it came from well you and jenny are similar so jenny would troll you yes i think it came from dungeons

and dragon maybe i know they use it in dungeons and dragons so that's interesting and and jenny is very much into that so yeah i i what did they say that you were i'll tell you um and then we'll see we'll reveal in the next see you next tuesday when people with their votes vote what you think i am i know i already said chaotic good um i i think there's no way i'm anything but chaotic like that i'm confirmed that banner but i don't think i'm chaotic neutral because i i think i'm a little too i would say chaotic evil or chaotic good but i don't know evil yeah i don't think i'm evil either but i don't neutral to me just is like no one's ever described me as neutral right i'm not palatable and they were all like easy this is easy and i was like y'all are all

wrong offensive and i know we have crossover listeners because people have written in on their show and told me that listen we're gonna cut out most of the things that we just said because i want everybody to come through and then i'll tack it on to next week's episode what happens if they vote there's no way if we specifically call for the like the people who i'm saying like have to come vote there's no way they're gonna say that right i would describe next to nobody in our patreon who i consider my close personal friends i would i would put next to nobody in a category other than chaotic i think agnes might be in the oh you're without a doubt yeah and you don't gotta balance out sarai i gotta keep sweden gotta go back and forth yeah and if

you wore a fedora as a child that you're in the chaotic phase i'm trying to think anybody's chaotic evil with love yes she is with absolute love chaotic evil and i love a chaotic evil mary could also be chaotic evil if she wants mary is all is 100 not if she wants that's what she is i love it i just think yeah yeah let us know join our patreon we'll get to know you and then we'll put you in the category put everybody in a box i think brie might brie could not be chaotic if she didn't want to be yeah i think she could opt into being chaotic i think she could for a second i was gonna say i think she could be a true neutral but no no i don't think charity could opt out of being chaotic you know not at all i don't know those of us with adhd are able to opt

out of it i think it's part of it's just part of the brain um i wish there could be like oh there can be i think eric would flip between chaotic good and chaotic evil yeah maybe even just chaotic good you know yep okay i love it i think one of my favorite charts i'm looking at it right now and it has superman the joker robin hood oh my god i really do relate i always loved robin hood steel steel steel steel oh the wire matz's favorite fucking show of course the person is neutral is some man from Les Mis of course it was neutral thinking like what even is that right the long play about people being sad and dying and Anne Hathaway's in the movie version there we go whoop-dee-doo um well thank you for sharing that I feel really bad for you because

the identity crisis you must have had I just I'm like what is the perception I am putting out to these people well i now i think those people are lying about listening to both shows because like there's no way the people that that specifically like did it didn't say that they listened to both shows but i know there are people that do listen to both shows i would think of people who listen to both shows those ones who didn't vote because i'm just i don't even know at what point in our friendship i would have said that about you do you what i mean yeah like definitely not at this point but like i don't know when i ever maybe before we spoke maybe before i knew you even then i feel like you could feel the eye rolls behind my eyes without actually doing it well

no no first off i said before we spoke we had spoken by the time that we were hanging we're spending time in person and i had already you immediately i asked your birthday immediately our government aquarius and i at that point it's a burden to be misunderstood like that it is i actually have been thinking about it every day since then that's fair and i keep forgetting to bring it up because other things were going on i kept forgetting to bring it up on see you next tuesday and then i'd hang up and be like damn it i forgot to bring it up well just know that they're wrong and that would like really piss me off too yeah i hate being misunderstood unless i'm intentionally trying to mislead right which is part of the chaos exactly and this is

why mary is chaotic spreading misinformation is fun wow well thank you for sharing that and i can't wait for everybody to be to redeem this for you thank you mangan's doing her butthole loops i am doing my butthole lips um i've continued to watch the tv show the traitors when i tell you it is getting more and more dramatic they just kicked off eck and sue and I desperately need there to be a reunion for this show because you know everyone from all these she was on Love Island UK okay so everyone's from like different reality shows like The Challenge Real World Real Housewives a bunch of other like other Bravo shows I'm not familiar with um and The Bachelor like all of them and so they're all familiar with like talking to camera

the ITM like the little interviews and that kind of stuff and they're all very clicky so like they hang out with other people because also the age span is like so wild and there's like someone from like old white dude from like parliament or like whatever in the uk like it's just like matt said it's as if nancy pelosi was doing it and like i still can't believe that i know um but they don't like hang out like you hang out with who you are friends with oh and athletes too so you like hang out who you're close with and you don't really like fraternize much or hang out with other people but because these are all like fully grown adults and they're not with their peers they're like with their clicks they're so fucking comfortable talking shit to people's face and behind their

back because like they're never gonna have to see these people again they don't have to think about like workplace politics or whatever and so also most of the people on this show are like villains from the show they were yes they're all like so fucking messy i was i was confused as to why sheree was there it didn't make sense to me she just keeps getting everyone keeps telling her this person's a traitor and she goes okay and then she votes for them and then she goes oh we were wrong and like she's she's not as of right now she's just kind of getting caught up and then keeps going like oh shucks okay look alive girl um but there was um there's just like this one uh it's like early like this is not a spoiler like this is early in one of the episodes um

one of the traitors has to like kill someone in plain sight so they're like give this person this glass of wine to drink and it's like obviously not real poison and so she's like trying to like give it to someone she finally is able to give it to eck and sue and like that's not the person they planned hold on so ek and sue is one person yes not ek and sue ek and sue i can sue e k i n hyphen s u okay i'm she's i think her name is she's turkish i think her name is turkish she's turkish and something else i'm not don't entirely remember her brother if you look it up right now look up ek and sue brother that man timothy chalamet that man is and same mannerism same personality he came to like visit the villa one day and he was just bopping around looking like

timothy chalamet at nyu it is so funny um and uh so she was like not the target they like want to get these like big hitters they call them or like the big players out of the game people who like will catch on to like discover who the traitors are and so those people were they said possibly like isn't that timothy chalamet yes it is they said like larsa pippen was one that they were thinking um mj from shazza sunset i think and then another person who was on like the challenger real world or whatever and so when it was like eck and soon it was discovered like everyone to her face they're like why would like she's like it doesn't even matter that she's here and she's like just listening and they're like i don't even know why they would target her she's like kind of

just like nothing like i didn't like she's not like a threat like she's just like whatever like what a waste of whatever and they're all saying this behind each other's backs and they're like yeah people think it was so and so but like she's like such a fucking idiot like there's no way like no one even cares and then i'm like they're talking all this shit behind people's backs and one of the people who's talking the most shit is tamra judge and she is going and she's on there too melissa then we get to her she's so we go from her little interview room where she's talking about this guy she goes i i don't like him i i don't know if he's a traitor but i but i think he no she's like i think he's a traitor i just i don't like him then it cuts to her talking in the

room in front of everyone else going i just he is so annoying can we just pick him so he can leave then we have to get around and vote and she goes i'm voting you i don't like you and i was like what the fuck that's my opinion that's her that's her it was just like so fucking chaotic but then the next morning she shows up to breakfast and um i think it was phaedra it was like oh my god your outfit is so cute she was like i know i just wanted to be so cute and she is wearing a very cute outfit but it's just so crazy they talk about like let's just kill him he drives he's so annoying i hate the sound of his voice like and then her being like do you like my little hat and my outfit like and like the man is a shitster yeah and they all are and like so the ones i'm not

familiar with and then they have pilot pete who is the bachelor and he was like we all thought he was like a passive shit starter like he just like ended up in shit and he was like how did this get here and now i'm watching it i go oh my god you seek this shit out like this is this is a lot um but it is just really fucking entertaining but the one for eck and sue when they killed her like to to reveal because she didn't know she was poisoned they make the final three like everyone has to like guess so and so guess whatever and then they like narrow down the group of people and then when it's a final three they made them all get in these full-size coffins and then everyone had to vote with roses that they threw on the people who are laying in the coffins the

top three contenders for this and then um they did a jump cut to like when it was eck and sue and then they did a jump cut to her coffin being gone and then them filling up a grave in the ground as if they buried her alive in there but they don't show her being fine or her leaving the show they go here lies eck and sue and then they pretend to bury her alive that's wild so is there a new trader every episode no so it starts with two traders oh yes it started with was it two or one i think it starts with two traders and then um the then they had one where the traders got to pick a new trader and so then there are three right now and then the whole point is to guess who the trader is and then more and so i we haven't gotten this far yet but i assume

they guess a traitor then a new traitor will be elected or something probably up until a certain point so you could like win by guessing all of them um so i'm not entirely i'm not entirely sure um but so far they eliminated marcus jordan um they were on there together yuck and so when you realize like she knew him when he was a child well here's gonna say so they one of the guessing games to like eliminate people was like who are all the people born in this year i don't remember what year it was and like they someone said larsa and mott was like no way and like that was correct and he was like she's so much older than i thought she was and i was like yeah dude like she's been married she was married to scotty pippen when he was a child

like disgusting no disgusting okay i guess that makes more sense now why they were on why marcus jordan was on a reality show why he was on i i mean i i didn't know that he was on that show together but i did i did know that they were on you okay there you're having trouble with water bottles today i am she just took a swig out of her non-sippy one and spilled it on herself yeah something that you always tell me no i'm worried about you spilling it on the floor not on yourself um but uh they were on watch what happens live and i was like why would they be on here oh yeah but now that makes sense it it's just like and also one of them one of them was like oh like the little housewives click

and Phaedra shot it down so fast and it was the two trade that one of the girls was a trader and so Phaedra and this other girl are traders who was Parvati she's a housewife no no so she but so so Phaedra is and so but Parvati was saying that she was voting for Larsa because she's like I just like don't trust those housewives and Phaedra came for her ass so quick afterwards Parvati was like that was like you were like playing around right like we were just like in it and she's like no i'm like mad at you bitch like you're a fucking like can i like don't put a fucking target on my back because like i will shoot you fucking faster and she was just like and it's just like their height difference is like so funny but she's shaking in her boots as she

should and then here's the craziest part though in order to get people off of like from suspecting housewives phaedra then makes the choice to kill tamra that fucking night she kills tamra but i don't think tamra knows that pager's the traitor who killed her so she gets fucking sent home and the next morning at breakfast everybody's freaking out and then they have this compilation of pager being like completely unfazed going because i'm past the hard-boiled eggs and she goes oh what's a little salt over there and she's like making her little like breakfast i was going to do and she looks gorgeous and glamorous and it's like sparkly blue eyeshadows everybody's like i can't believe tamra's gone and she's so unfazed she goes oh tamra's also a racist so no and that was

part of the thing because i was like she's oc isn't she yeah i was gonna say i know the all the except for um didn't she leave though the brunette lady yeah she left but she's like she left before she comes back that her why can't i think of her husband's name but uh heather yes yeah um so like i the os i mean first of all you'd be hard pressed to you can be from the from orange county and not be racist but you can't be there present day currently as an adult like it's just not it's just like why would you wouldn't why would you choose to be there um so i i kind of feel like i was like well this is obvious but i don't think the other people knew that and so they were like oh my god i can't believe she eliminated her and i was like

i don't think they're friends because this is one of those feisty little blonde ones of that little group who's saying wild fucking shit with the new york lady the ramona one right yeah she's also one who says crazy shit yeah she's part of a clique called the trace amigas and they wear sombreros and hard republican she is married to he used to be hot i don't think he's hot anymore she got her a young husband after her old husband um he was abusive and she divorced him like she was that was her husband for the first few seasons and then she got this young hot latino man husband but it's still like you're not fooling anybody lady no i looked on google and apparently her kids don't speak to each other because of their political

differences the um her oldest son who is by someone like that she has different she had him like young and he is like a hardcore trump supporter yeah and he's like disgusting yeah he seems um he always he had problems too yeah he doesn't seem like a nice guy and he seems like a bigot yeah and she tried to get in one of the early seasons she her son was close in age to one of the younger housewives that she didn't like who was married to this man that was like 200 years old but he was dying and the good for her um yeah and um that woman um was like grieving and then tamra got her like super drunk and then tried to have her son hook up with her i wish i could like petition for her not to have custody of her fully grown adult children like

that's to me yeah and that was like before snow contact yeah that was like 20 years ago like i don't if it happened now she would have been like fired forever you know like that's not something that horrible for both parties yep ew and like why would you want to put your son and a co-worker either of those situations because she hated her and she was trying to make her look bad well she also hates her son okay damn well her outfit was cute that's like the only thing i can she's entertaining i'll say that like she's very entertaining as as is phedra yeah and i'm just obsessed with how fucking afraid these random real world bitches are of her like she's just this little pint-sized glamazon with these outfits and this makeup looking

gorgeous and also everybody wants to be her friend yeah and like the other traitor is this like just white guy from the real world and like people have their eyes on him and he's like floundering trying to ask for help and phage was like you either got it or not sorry i was like okay yeah so it's a very entertaining show um and my one of my favorite things is that um alan what's his name alan cummings alan cummings is scottish which is a brand new discovery for me um and specifically scottish his name sounds scottish i don't know why i didn't i don't know but my second last name is very irish and i can't speak irish um but uh he like anytime he says anything i just then will repeat it for like the next like 20 minutes like murder like i'm just having we have

so much fun with it so i recommend it to everybody it's a great show and i'm watching that abed elementary did you watch the newest episode of abed elementary not no it wouldn't be the newest the i was gonna say because last night it aired but we haven't seen it yeah i haven't watched last night yeah but the one before that yes okay i i think i i spoke very much about how i don't like gregory um last season fuck boy um and hold up he has not worn his chain or his white tank top in this season you can't call him a fuck boy underneath his fuck boyness is still coming out because even barbara called it out i know even barbara called it out even those even those students can pick up on it they say tell me about your bench boy and he goes what bench

right and let's not forget that he dated barbara's daughter so she knows oh yeah so i just i and um quentin well not quentin uh janine janine's other boyfriend was looking real ex-boyfriend was looking real good no no melissa i don't know what machine they have put him through i don't know if it's a stylist i don't know if we're getting a new haircut i don't know what it is he appeared on screen and i said tarik tarik you are looking gorgeous like tarik is giving the glow of like a pregnant woman like tarik is like there's an aura and i was like the thing is i see tarik and i'm like i can fix it no melissa melissa when he came out i was like oh tarik is a stepfather he has stepped up he's not he's not the father was born he's the father who stepped up

and right does he know his stepson's name no is it even his official stepson of course not does he have a job no he doesn't but is he fucking gorgeous is he helping raise that kid and picking that kid up yeah is he showing up for pickup and drop off and drop i can say from other people but like no he looks so hot i was like okay okay boy i don't think the i really would love to have known what it was like the day that he showed up because like it's not a character shift like this is just like this fully grown adult man just had like a like a hiatus glow up a post-strike glow up and like he shows up and they're like god damn it uh-oh he's looking a little too good because Janine's gonna

This is Right This doesn't make a lot of sense And then at the end of the episode Ava was like Tariq's back I know So

What do you think of Manny? Is that the Dude from Well first of all They fucked up by naming him Isn't his name Manny? I don't remember But that's the dude from

She-Hulk Yes His name is Manny I like their vibe together Him and Janine i nope right now he for as far as they go um if i could actually find the exact text that i sent avia it's been a while so i don't know if you can see this man from she hulk no to tariq

number 76 jacob what's 283 who's black zach jacob's boyfriend and then i forgot black zach and they're like i love that fucking episode where we meet him for the first time yeah it is so funny i have to say though they stabbed up and when they pulled out gregory's little gun show there i said okay but he's giving me like i'm annoyed with him right now i'm so annoyed with him he's so i don't know if everybody could if i don't know if it picked up clearly so i just want to say that i made a ranking of uh the men for janine and at this present moment and it's number one is man from she hulk two is tariq and then 76 i have jacob who not even straight 2083 is black

Zach who also is not straight And then Some large number 1727499958 42627234 Is where I put Gregory Where do you put Vince Staples For Janine

Oh well Yeah or for you For me he's not on my radar at all No no but if you have the dating pool Of the men from Abbott Elementary this is my ranking yeah no but where would you put him there i would put him probably right above jacob at 75 me too i also said rather him her be with greg than mr johnson if it counts for anything no it does count like manny is not my number one unfortunately right now i need janine

i need janine to buy a vibrator and i need janine to go on a long vacation she did go on a long vacation that's what she did i need her okay then the then the thing that we were missing is the vibrator i need that and i need gregory to go out for a weekend i need him to take off his fucking button-down shirt and i need to remember who he is and i need to remember him i need to remember the tank top that he's wearing underneath it and i need him to remember the chain he has around his neck no and i need him to stop being like this i'm not that guy well i still am that guy and i do all of those guy things like either do it and be hot but don't be like i didn't do what do you pisses me off pisses me off to throw some game in there like you can't be a fuckboy and then

not serve the game and that's what he's doing right now is like he's like he's doing the whole like non-committal like oh no i thought like okay and that only works if you're like slinging it around and you're like you're throwing some great game and he's not doing that right now and so i'm just like it's the worst of it yeah can't stand them right now but Tariq I'm so sorry that man is gorgeous yes yes even even the other guy that's working at the admin building I don't even know what his name is way above Gregory too who there's there's three new people there's she hulk guy there's another guy oh you mean of this of the um where is she working for not the school the school district she's yeah the district so is that one of the

guys is the district okay remember because tariq was like she's in dc now and he's funny yeah here's the thing we let women i'm a big proponent of women being hot dumb idiots i'm also proponent of men being hot dumb idiots yeah and he just because he's not like a bad guy no he's gorgeous i'm just looking him up on instagram right now well well well this is the greatest caption i've seen on a picture of he posted september 3rd 2023 y'all broke as fuck worried about what the tab is i just took a bitch tabbies and some marjella tabby shoes if anybody didn't know oh and it was a whole saga on yep tiktok so my birthday i went and got a massage yes i went and to a massage place the place was gorgeous i was welcomed with justin timberlake they're playing the whole 2020

album um the ladies at the front desk were so nice they came out and told me that my um water was being drawn it was great to get back there the woman like walks me through my private in the private room there's like a large tub that has like jets in it but it's not a jacuzzi they're like bubbles that come up from the bottom in these little tiny holes and then um a sauna and um like like towels to like ice yourself off with oh nice and um luxurious himalayan thing to put your feet on but could you reach it huh could you reach it yes i could reach it no i didn't know if it was like you're just me laying down no okay that's good no i've been to some ones before where it's like i was like this is only built for people with the span of me

no i could reach it uh so i was in the sauna it was like i did like two different like 20 minute sessions it was so good so nice i've inhaled it oh good that upped the experience right it's like smoking before a movie you're like whoa this is awesome i should always do this uh then you know tal i saw she kept bringing me like beverages and things then i got in the jacuzzi tub um it was great then i go and lie on this bed of sound like it's the bed is like slight vibrations and okay doing like the sound stuff in your ear where you like doze off and you don't realize it that kind of thing that goes like deep in the brain so nice like someone powers you it's like a hard factory reset i love that shit that's exactly what it was that's nice and then

i had dozed off and then the massage therapist comes in and he puts his hand on me to wake me up and i was like you could have just said hi or taken my headphones off but it's a massage it's gonna be touching me anyway whatever he's getting you used to it so i was like um i said do i need to roll over and he's like no and he just starts like gently i 90 minute deep tissue i should start there he starts gently touching my neck and i'm like what are you doing and he's like i'm just trying to like see if you have any like soreness here and i was like it's sore let's massage this uh he's still gently touching then i roll over and he's still gently like it's been like 30 minutes and he's gently touching my neck and i said i like a deep tissue

massage this is a deep tissue massage and he's like yes i know um and i said can you please add more pressure and he said i'm not gonna do that for your neck i'm just creating space i said what does that mean and he said uh i'm loosening your muscles i said you're barely touching me then he's like okay now we can start what we're a third away done then he like tells me that he does two different deep tissue massages one is a lighter pressure and one is a heavier pressure and most people like a lighter pressure i said that's not a deep tissue massage then he starts and i'm like please make the pressure firmer and he says to me you ready for this no i'm still angry about this he says

i've learned that black women like like it harder because they can't really feel the light pressure that is so not where i thought you were going yeah to go yeah i think i sent that in a text message i said or something or when we recorded on monday i said i'll talk about it and it's not going to be what you think it is no yeah no you didn't say that i'm lying here naked like have you seen no hard feelings because there i was gonna say this is a time for a no hard feelings moment she gets disrespected while in the nude and she said that's not stopping me and then she there's an entire fight scene where she beats the shit out of these people just pussy lips out yes i did hear about that and i cannot stand this idea that it's like you're in a vulnerable position so

i'm gonna say this fucked up wild shit and assume you're not gonna do anything about it i literally that's not true because my sister doesn't like a deep tissue massage and then he tries to change it like he's like talking during the massage which i also hate and i also and i also knew he was a gay man and he is like continues to massage and he has like made the pressure deeper but it's still not like good and um he and then he's like yeah um because i had told him that i lived in la because he's steady talking and uh he goes yeah i've always wanted to live in a blue state and i was like okay i guess you're trying to tell me that you're like liberal but you're still racist giving very much um a a middle ground democratic party giving that is okay giving bill clinton

home state okay he keeps massaging and taking so much time and then he gets to um like the like my upper thigh area and he goes um okay we only have uh 30 minutes left he has he's only done my back and touched my neck at this point and he says what do you want to do next i said this is a full body massage like you haven't done my arms you haven't done the rest of my legs like you haven't done like my chest my head yeah this is a you problem sir yeah yeah so aggravated no and that's like the it's the exact opposite feeling you want to have not only during a massage but then after yes and then after the massage he goes because he had asked me like how like how often i get a massage and like

every month i get a massage like i'm not new to this um and then he um says um well um make sure you drink a lot of water and i was like yeah and he said but you probably already know that but that doesn't mean that you're gonna do it and you probably won't do it uh but i told you so that counts i understand hating your job but being like violently bad at your job and like abrasive and a bitch to be people who like you also work on tips sir what the fuck yeah what an asshole yes oh i left him the worst review good like the worst review um and but i was like everyone else like i gave high praises to everyone else there because they were all just like so nice and sweet and then this asshole came along ew no way he has any fucking work friends no he's like

a completely different vibe ew ew ew ew ew ugh already i'm like i the men should i'm not i'm not a fan of male asus's because i'm usually like fine because i like i said like i like like a really deep pressure so most of the time like I prefer a man and see I always get deeper pressure with a woman similarly I find workout classes harder for women but I'm also taller and bigger and so I think there's a whole I mean besides the him being a racist part but I think in other aspects of it um you're shorter than a lot of women and so I think other women can be like oh you're shorter you might be more fragile than the only time like when I get a Thai massage of course like it's women like you're yeah naked like they're incredible they're walking on my back

so that's different than when they are like rubbing like massaging massaging with their hands it's not like how deep i want it yeah there's just one lady that that i i can't i've been chasing like i want to get back to that massage yeah miss you girl call back i know uh she worked at i went to a chiropractor and this is when i had like insurance where i paid nothing and i went there every like twice a week and i could get a massage go to pilates class and a chiropractor and it was just all coming out my insurance yep and the woman that worked there oh european she was latino okay um i had a great massage from this like intense eastern european lady in la and i don't know where she is now yeah that woman she walk it in and like she'd crack my back yeah and i'm there

for for a chiropractor and she just walk in i don't she just like touch it and oh there's putty and then yeah that that woman was the best massage i've ever had but and then i had this other guy at this other place and then he wasn't there anymore and i was trying to find him like i found his like facebook page but then i couldn't see where he was working anymore so there's two people that have given me the best massages ever and i can't find them anymore but thai massages are usually what i prefer and the best period oh my god i'm so sorry and i hope that man gets fired i know and um a healthy dose of education because it is so wildly rich to me that he would say that and then say i want to live in a blue state yep because like first of all sir if you hadn't said

that i know that you're a gay man unspoken i'm assuming that but now you're like oh actually i need to clarify that because you're also clocking that what you said was hella fucking racist so it's like but i'm not that kind of racist i'm the kind of racist who says i care i'm the kind of racist who who votes for democrats and it's like so just a same same kind of racist different political party affiliation how old was he probably like early 30s and the thing is i i will 100 go back to that place like it was one of it gave everything like the korean spot gives to me but like in a personable like one room where i'm not with everybody so it was great well i doubt you're the first person who's had an issue with him and or uh it might have been like that you're

the first customer who said something and they can finally fucking i forgot to mention this also he spent like 15 minutes rearranging my legs and was like are you bow leg i said no and then he goes he'd be able to see that's not a question you have to ask and then he goes have you ever been pigeon-toed i said no and even if i were either of those things what does it have to do what does it have to do with you massaging me but also like there's nothing we can do about that if that's the case adapt this meant like certified masseuse from like the university of phoenix like what is this like an online like this is not yeah there's no filter coming in here either yeah i had saw like he

mostly had positive reviews and there's just one person that said like that he kept diagnosing her with stuff and i was like maybe you know like i'm like no yeah maybe it was just it's just one review out of these but also like what does that even mean now i know what that means as you are pigeon toed and bow-legged right also i would love to know if he is a family member who's old who is a doctor and or if um he thinks he's a doctor because he read a pre-med textbook because a specific thing about not feeling pain i go bitch he uh has a degree in biology so from 1975 so he i'm saying he might have like started pre-med and then didn't finish so he got to the part where it's all of the um racist uh ideas about specifically black women in pain and then

he just didn't read past that chapter where it said we fucked up that's not real and i just don't like in the area that we're in i just don't there's not a lot of black people that he would be seen anyway so i don't i just don't believe it i think i heard that somewhere no i think i 100 i think he heard it on a fucking like wannabe doctors subreddit or he saw it in a fucking old like textbook or he heard it from someone else oh disgusting man la does not walk away with open arms no no well he said it was too expensive anyway so well yeah being racist doesn't doesn't doesn't pay well for you and your shitty massages nasty hate him hate him well i hope next time you go they give you a wonderful experience and you

have maybe they'll find that woman from la fly her in for you and she'll work you the fuck out literally like uh maybe like two months ago i was like trying to see if there was like record i was trying to like look through my medical records at that place to see if i could find that woman's name i couldn't find it um trixie and katya talk about getting massages a bunch on their podcast i've been listening and watching re-watching old episodes of theirs which is you know you can always tell what mental state you're in based on like what content you're watching anyone who's like going through a trixie and katya phase you're not that's a seasonal depression it's a something's happening but um they both get massages like a lot and they both

are like you know relatively like athlete athletic um and i don't know if katya shouted hers out but trixie shouted hers out and was like he's amazing so i'll go back and see which episode it was and send it to you thank you you need you need a new one did they give you your money back for it no nope did you ask i didn't ask i just wanted to be gone do you want me to call them and ask your money back if you want to i'll do it yeah i am fine calling for other other people that's all i got you deserve a new one thank you a new fantastic wonderful amazing massage have you watched anything any good content lately no um i just a lot of stuff happening so no i haven't even watched any of my soaps yesterday that's how busy i was

well well actually let me take i was busy but it was mostly moving files off my computer onto my hard drive because my computer like just shut off and i was like oh there's no memory left on here so i had to hold off on reviewing edits like if i was at home i could look on my desktop and then have one thing going so i had to hold off on reviewing but am i wrong and um a super bloom because it was taking hours to move all these files off my computer that's actually one of the worst work days there is because it takes so long that you want to forget about it but if you forget about it then you've wasted precious time for the other stuff so you have to be like actively waiting and there's nothing more infuriating than that

yep speaking of super bloom showed up my for you page today was candace talking about how her daughter who by the way is seven terrifying to me i go i remember when you didn't exist that's fucking i remember when you weren't even here fucking crazy um was saying that she watched uh she marathon and binge watched Hannah Montana and she's like talking on a panel and she goes and boy oh boy does mommy have some good info for you and it always like just makes me like geek out just to like open the comments and see people being like oh my god I love her so much she's so great and I'm like I love when people like love someone that I can make you picked a good one like she is she's the best like she is so great I'm so happy that you love her and I'm

so happy that like they're like I want her to do so many good things and I'm like me too I'm so glad we're all in her corner well we hope you all enjoyed this tuesday and um let melissa know who she is yeah don't fuck it up you better be right there will be i have so much faith we'll circle back is that what we say on this one we'll see you next tuesday oh it's in the fucking name