Don't Blame Me! - SYNT: Beyoncé is Melisa's Cousin

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Melisa went to Houston for a writing conference and happened to see Shaq and her cousin-in-law Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. you are coming to us as a new woman melissa i know a rebirth if you will out of someone's vagina who is not your mother but she is mother i took a journey through her open legs but the other way hey you know yeah it was great so welcome to see you next tuesday if you're new here um this is not a structured show in any way um we have other episodes that come out throughout the week like on monday we have don't blame me which is a call-in or write an advice show and then on thursdays we have but am i wrong where we uh judge if people are right or wrong in a situation and then fridays we have fisting friday where we read those results

but today is see you next tuesday and this is more so a catch-up for us with each other and y'all get to enjoy it and this is there might not be structure to this show but this episode will have a little bit of structure and that structure is melissa did something i did we have all been waiting for and i as a friend online and offline have not been able to hear about it because we have this podcast together so so i had to wait i've been i've been wanting to tell you so much Um, but before we get into that, uh, last week on CNX Tuesday, we were talking about Halloween candy and in that face and, and in that group that, you know, we're not a part of, they were discussing how we didn't bring up Reese's and they were shocked by

it. And I don't know why, because I have gone on record many of times to say that I hate chocolate and peanut butter mixed together it is disgusting and especially Reese's because Reese's are like dry crusty drops of peanut butter in the midst of chocolate so that is why it was not brought up and I don't like peanut butter point blank um if I eat too much of it I always thought I just didn't like it and then I had a little bit and I was like okay um I got very sick afterwards not like throat closing up but like my tummy does not like it so i'm not a fan um the only way you could get me to have some is like if there is chocolate involved but it's a lot like

the only thing i'm picking over that is coconut and still i might have a bite i just need to smell it and then i'm i'm done so yeah this is not and i understand we're an unpopular opinion like it's it is a little wild that there are two of us here who are one of us who's like not a peanut butter person in general and one who is not a chocolate peanut butter person yes i love both entities separately but mixed together and the thing is i love chocolate and peanuts mixed together it's the consistency of the peanut butter you made that face y'all can't see she made a face but you said snickers were good but i still like milky way i don't love nuts and i but i accept that that is a me problem um and i've had to learn how i used to like not eat nuts as a kid like at

all. Um, but I had to learn how to, um, enjoy them because, well, that has never been an issue for me. Um, but the, because I, I need foods that are easy to eat and quick. So I had to learn how to like them. Learn how to like an almond. Um, but now that that's out the way, let's get to the business trip I took to go to a writing seminar in Houston, Texas. All right. So I left on Friday, very early in the morning. I believe my flight was at 630 and I flew Southwest and I have only flown Southwest. My god sister works for Southwest. And the only time that I've flown before is when I was flying as like a family member, but I didn't tell her I was flying this time and i didn't know that you had and also the last time i flew southwest it would

have been before they had an app anyway i didn't know that you had to check in like 24 hours in advance for your seat i never check in on my flights until i get there because i'm like i don't know if i'm actually going to show up i always do but i just don't want to have that chance where they're like where is she and i'm not there so usually check in when i get there so you're fine with boarding last i didn't know that's how southwest worked i usually no my i've always had an assigned seat before oh no no but you still board no matter where you're what row you're in you'll be in boarding groups but the boarding yeah i don't care about that yeah i don't care about we're all going to the same place i don't care when i'm getting on the

plane bitch you and me are the only people who i have ever met who like don't care about when i'm like why would i want to get on the plane first and then just sit there and wait for everybody else and look and have everybody looking me in the face no thank you I'll board last like I'm fine boarding I truly don't care we're all gonna get there at the same time to the same place I do not care as long as I have an assigned seat and I didn't know that Southwest didn't have an assigned seat I didn't think about it I just thought I had already done it get there I'm in the last boarding group not the last number so i wasn't like last last someone went closer than you did yeah so i get there and i get to the airport i always get there two hours early

regardless you know i go to clear i just walk on through whatever you get there two hours early with clear yes i do but i'm not here to judge i almost missed my last flight yeah i i just don't like to be rushed once i'm there yeah also i had ordered some clothing items from amazon that were supposed to be there on thursday i left on friday they did not arrive when it arrived well they i contacted amazon and they were like we're so sorry we'll rush it you'll get it before i was like i need it by 3 a.m they're like okay you'll get it before then i wake up nothing at my door i you know get ready still nothing there so then i cancel it and when i cancel it two seconds later i get a message saying we're two stops away

i was so mad wait they didn't let you just keep it then no because they they i had canceled it so then they just didn't end up coming i'd be like can you send me a can you drop a pin right like i can meet you there and so then i was uh and then i um ordered an uber and i guess because it was so early i usually have no problem getting an uber within five minutes but i guess since it was so early it took them like 25 30 minutes to get there but i'm still you know i i'm i gave myself time so i'm fine i mean the uber driver just drove i'm standing on the street it's five o'clock in the morning nobody's out there he just drives a complete block away like past me i'm like excuse me and doesn't doesn't come back

oh like you can catch up to me yeah rude and he's speeding down the street where i'm trying to get the speed bumps so uh-huh uh-huh you need security cameras so you can have like statistics based on like this is how many cars drive down the street this is how many you should make your own diy this is how fast you're going i should um so anyway i get to the airport get straight through clear sitting there and i'm like get on the airplane and And they, the flight attendants are arguing, the flight attendants in the front of the plane, and there's a flight attendant in the back of the plane. And there wasn't enough space since us on the end, there wasn't enough space for us to put our bags away. Flight attendant at the back of the plane is yelling, bring your bags back here, we'll take them off the plane. the one in the front of the plane yelling bring your plane bags up here we'll get them out and then when some people were going forward and some people were going back they start arguing about

no you need to bring blah blah and i was like work this out between yourselves and it is five o'clock in the morning why are we why do we have this much energy because they haven't slept yeah i could tell one of the women definitely hadn't slept that's why i'm like she either didn't sleep or got fucked real hard in the laboratory like before because she looked like she had been through some things yeah hopefully sexual yeah hopefully uh so then um finally this nice man that was behind me unfortunately he was wearing a wedding ring because he was very attractive he was just like i'll take your bag for you and he like made sure my stuff got situated and i was like thank you so much kind sir he also let me go one person ahead of him in the line too so

look at that not on then uh and and then i sat in my seat that i was a middle row so i was in a very uncomfortable position on the plane and i couldn't sleep because every time i fell asleep i would just fall for it and then wake myself up i hate that feeling you need one of those neck things i had one oh no the one that like straps you like strap it to the back yeah um but the plane ride was pretty smooth other than those mishaps we landed and i went to my hotel they have i stayed at the double tree and they now have allergen-free cookies warm and as as i was walking into the hotel oh my god i told everybody i tried to call megan and like i tried to call her on

facetime but for some reason it wasn't going through because i knew that this would be the delight of her life if she saw it but i couldn't it i don't know why it wasn't i maybe i was just too flustered oh i forgot before we even get there they gave away my rental car to somebody else because they were packed for the weekend and so then rental cars are a crazy business yes so i just ended up taking an uber whatever it worked out cheaper but i wouldn't say better um so i get to the hotel and i see this very tall very very tall chocolatey man and bald chocolate man and i was like i know exactly who that is and i call megan on the phone and i know she's going to answer because we don't ever call without like saying you know I'm calling because you know but

I know that she knows that I'm out of town and she will think it's an emergency so she will answer right away I think I answered the phone saying hey what's wrong yes and I go Megan you will not believe who was standing directly in front of me it was Shaquille O'Neal friend of the pod friend of the pod Shaquille O'Neal he's just standing at the entrance and then after I said that a ton of people went and took pictures with him and then he had moved before I could I was trying to get it and he had gone down the hallway but i i could not believe it the fucking double when melissa sent me the photo it took me a millisecond to register where shack was because he's surrounded by so many short people i thought he was a pillar in the hotel the thing is he's not

the people around him weren't even short yeah it's like the step it's the steph curry effect like it's literally like he's around these people where i literally thought he was a fixture of the building because he is so tall but you said you were like i saw him from the back and like before he like he hasn't even turned around at this point and i know it's him and i was like oh my nipples got my nipples have gotten hard talking about this like i was losing my mind and i i literally told like moths i told moths and i told his parents and i was like and they were like oh how cool and moths was like wow and they were like oh is that really cool i was like you know, like they were thinking that like Mott's thought it was so cool. Cause like Mott's loves

Shaq. And I was like, no, I love Shaq. Like Shaq is my guy. Like he is happy for me by proxy because Melissa saw Shaq. Like it is not that Mott's is his number one Shaq's fan. I can't believe it. And still I've been racking my brain for like, why was this man at the double train? I don't know. I don't know. But if you had to get your rental car, I don't think you would have seen him because it would have taken you longer no if no i was in the rental car line for an hour and a half two hours and then i had to i got i got too excited and jumped the story because the rental car is on the airport lot they were trying to and while i was calling my uber like i waited for two hours in line there were so many people there everybody there was for the yeah was there

for the concert and so they weren't caring they were just giving away people's cars so they're like whatever we're gonna if all the cars are gone then we can go home early so um i waited in line it was hot too for two hours i get up there and they're like we're so sorry we no longer have your car you can get this one which is six hundred dollars i said absolutely not and what are you gonna do for me now that you gave away my car right right so i was just like whatever i'm gonna take an uber but then i take the i go out onto like the street but it's considered part of the airport so i couldn't get them even though oh my god number two airport way they can't come there oh so even though we took a shuttle all the way there then and so they couldn't they're like you

either have to get back on the shuttle and go to the airport i'm like i'm not going back to that fucking airport so there was a hotel and i was like the hotel has to have an address so i just like walked over to the hotel and i see a big queue in the air and so i thought it was a quality inn so i typed it in as i'm walking like quality and then when i get there the queue is not for quality in it is for no i thought it was la quinta when i get there to quality in yeah that's a southern california and you did you mean this isn't a la quinta there's la quintas everywhere no but there's so many lichens here that's like one of the only um branches and then i'm like call i can't cancel at the point and then they're not letting me text i don't i guess they

don't let you text message people anymore until they arrive i think so i am like calling this man i'm like i am like a block away it's too fucking hot for me to like walk anymore yeah i have luggage i can't and like he wasn't getting that what i was saying until like we had called about three times then he finally came i gave him a big fat tip and then he drops me off i see shack whatever then i go check in and the guy at the desk so funny he was like i don't know why they're taking pictures with shack they should be taking pictures with me iconic i'm sorry there is something special about people who work in hospitality specifically people who work in big chain hotels that are large areas for conferences um business trips concerts i'm like

you are an actor you are a stand-up you are a performer like the personality is like see like those are my favorite fucking interactions yes and he was every time i went downstairs he was there so it was we had fun exchanges i love that um got to my room exhausted and uh i slept for a couple hours and i met my cousins and they came and picked me up and we went to this delicious mexican restaurant that had text mix which on i had a uh enchilada and they had they put chili sauce on it instead of just the very oh my gosh and they and i i was they asked like when i we got there they're like do you have any allergens so i could tell them what i couldn't eat and it was still made to perfection houston we have no problem

right oh i love it yeah but i haven't my cousin we've only seen each other at funerals in the last few years um so it was good to see him outside of that um does he listen to the podcast does he know this land or you spoke on he he listened to one episode a long time ago that was very sexual and he said never again like he started and turned it off so so you were protected from him he was not that he was not one of the cousins you had to apologize to when you realized you may hear it saying that was a cousin that was a cousin-in-law thing so he wouldn't have counted in that oh true true true true true true true they're all cousins they are they're all cousins but in that specific thing that was a cousin-in-law type thing um yeah and then i uh saw his little

babies and they're so cute he's got a six-year-old and a whenever so what's this month almost 10 month old um so cute so what side of the family are you gonna say both this is my so his mom mary his mom is my mom's cousin yeah and she married my dad's brother they are not related that's pretty close they're not related in any type of way no i know it's just the fact that the words are cousin and brother like it's not like my fourth cousin twice from it's just there's a cousin and a brother and i understand that those people are not related at all were they did they meet in arkansas yeah they met at my parents wedding but they didn't get together two years later like brian isn't like biologically my uncle um kenneth's son um but

stepson um but they didn't get together till we moved to texas when we lived in texas our uncle kenneth came to visit us and then that's when they were reacquainted and they used to i figured out they were dating before anyone else because you know i'm observant yep and i used to see them like sneakily touch each other's hands yep and i was like yeah then we had these our stairs like looked over the uh like one of those tv show stairs where you could hear and yeah and be suspicious in dark corners uh-huh and so one time i was looking they thought nobody was around and they like fully held hands and like and then later after they no then i would i started teasing them and didn't tell them what i knew i was nine years old at this point some things never change

yeah so then yeah that's how they got together yeah then i went back to my room and then the next morning i was had my you know what i was there for the writing retreat um it's very uh fulfilling we got very much into uh character study i'm sorry when you have to start ascension we got very much i know she's trying to find a kind word the kind word is searching the the guy that taught it was great no but after the day of travel that you had to then do like there you I could be meeting the only person that I would be meeting with where I wouldn't be in a bad mood is Shaq like that's a you had a travel day from hell yeah and I also had to overnight me some clothes

for the concert and here I was days before being like send me pegs your outfits and you're like I'm not worried I'm not worried who should have been worried you well guess what's great you didn't have to it still came through it still came through it doesn't matter it came how it should be um there was a nordstrom next door so i knew push come to shove i could have just walked yeah i was next to the galleria so i which we did go there several times so i knew that if something happened then i could just get a stylist at nordstrom to pull me something yeah i'm sure that your girl could give you a reference to someone there to be like or you could just do you did before and judge a book by its cover yeah which i i knew i was gonna be fine yeah it's

fucking no boo next door like i was gonna be fine oh yeah no you're in houston houston you're good yeah so um you know i got up i did my class that day and afternoon and then worked out and then my best friend katherine other best friend sorry fine i'm not offended i know katherine katherine i katherine's heard of me i've heard of cat like this is fun yeah she came and uh then we went to the galleria and we um then went to uh pf chains because it was right there and we were hungry and they were playing football so we ate also they underrated restaurant also if you ask them for gluten-free they will swap out your noodles which terrific hiccup question have you seen the audio of um i think it's paris hilton saying i want either two or can i get me another one of

those little blonde bitches we need me and katherine in a room so you can do that audio give me another one of the little blonde bitches i don't know what you're talking about i'll try to find the audio for you and send it to you later um and then what we had found also um that a bar that was like where the alumni for university of arkansas was playing so then we went and avia met us there and um i feel like we got hate crimes like in a very passive aggressive way and not in the way that you think so university of arkansas bar to watch the football game uh-huh okay so we're we're there

and i live in houston huh no she lives here you know that's what i was saying but you said avia met you oh yeah she she was going to the concert you guys just didn't fly together correct okay because i thought she moved her partner is anti-southwest so and do you understand it now because I have to tell you Melissa I know you accidentally sent me your flight information and I should have been a good friend and checked because I would have been like girl do you know you're flying southwest because as someone who only flew southwest as a kid because um it's cheaper and my didn't have a lot of money like I when I went on my first flight that was not southwest I said look at this ritzy experience Mott's is a big southwest flyer because he has a southwest

credit card which I was like burn it get rid of it it was the only one that had a direct flight to the smaller airport and that was the only reason no but i just would have warned you because yeah southwest is so not you that i would have had to tell you i need to explain how this works and the only time that i've flown southwest before i was getting vip treatment so it was different so people pay for this this shit yeah sadly i just flew it we go to this bar this lady who was from arkansas barely talked to us just kind of looked at us and then we mentioned we were going to beyonce and every time we brought up beyonce she just shook her head it's a white woman okay everyone here in this story is white except for me and avia

i assumed so i just wanted for the audience yes and she just kept shaking her head and was like what the fuck is that woman she's a bartender no she was there as a Razorback fan like there's usually like a camaraderie yeah camaraderie when yeah it was weird and then the a guy that was there who shocking to all of us that he was the same age as us and it wasn't because of his physical appearance it's because he just talked like an old man what era like a current old man or like when mon says his 1920s welcome to the boom like if i didn't see him i would think that man was 60 and here's why an anti-smoking psa it wasn't even the voice it was his spirit he didn't have it like he didn't have an old soul it was just his presence and there was a legit old

man that was like seated behind us and he was like get this fucking geezer out of here and he he was like he had to be in his 70s 80s and he like bought us a piece i'm like i can't eat it but he bought like pizza very nice old man this guy same age as us he said i like and this is where i felt like it was hate crime white man he says i liked beyonce better when she was in tlc is this the real geezer or the geezer in spirit the geezer in spirit he's because there's no way that anyone our age would think that beyonce is in tlc was in tlc he thinks beyonce stood up there Beyonce he thought that her mother was behind the camera being like yes Beyonce don't go chasing

waterfalls like did he think Kelly was a part of like who did he think was in TLC and then he goes and then he started oh he's like oh Destiny's Child like we're like yeah and then he named songs including waterfalls and we're like that is TLC and then he said uh something like yeah and i really like t-boss and again we're like that's tlc you don't even know what you're talking about also as someone who is like not a huge i don't know i know all of tlc's discography that's a song that i wouldn't necessarily like that's not a deep cut of tlc but like that's like you have a knowledge of tlc enough that you should know who's that it's you don't have to know who's in it but you should know that beyonce's not in it

And you should also know that they're like 10 years older. Like I can't name, I can only name the songs that are in movies like that were popular in like pop culture because I am younger than the demographic. Like, so you're clearly the demographic. Yes. You know,

the song, you know, the songs that aren't in television and movies. Yes. And then he like switches it. And then he starts talking about, well, I'm a fan of George Strait.

And we're like, who doesn't love all my exes live in Texas, but what does that have to do with this? showed him he goes oh that's the only song i know well damn so did you ask how i feel about morgan wallen no that we already know no it was just odd it was just the tension was just odd it was just a and then he just kept inserting himself in conversations and this man he said he was a lawyer and or i know he said he was a professor and he might have taught law and i was like you're not annalise king um but something about like i

know for sure he was a professor and then he like kept inserting himself in conversations that he had no idea what he was talking about we're not talking to you we don't need you to know what we're talking about this isn't about you or for you and then we were like talking about ai like in like a you know talking about the industry type ai and then he like jumps in and he's like did y'all see that uh video where or that uh ai thing where somebody typed in jesus throwing a table and it was like actually jesus throwing a table and we're like okay but we're talking about the complexities of this with the complexity it's not his vocabulary yeah question so what would you say is the when you went to school there what was like the

racial breakdown of arkansas arkansas as a whole or the university of arkansas i mean we're definitely in the minority like yeah i don't remember but a smaller like it was a lot it was enough of us but like yeah and i'm just surprised because also houston like of the places to of the colleges like it's not uh overwhelmingly like it's not that there are like no black people who go to school there so then therefore a college bar like a bar that is for that in Houston would then get all of the white people in Houston but like yeah we're thinking that there's probably another one that has the cooler people that had the cooler because this was a hole in the wall and the fact that me and avia and her partner were the only non-white not even latino people like

we were the only non-white people so where'd you get the recommendation for this bar well it was it was on the official website like this is the official place that people go to the alumni bar to watch the games yeah maybe it was a i don't know what the houston subreddit is but you know how they have like black los angeles or specific poc los angeles it was by the way they're saying it's it this is not this one because that's what and it's the whole like the whole bar is playing different college games and the fact that we were the only ones yeah yeah and the vibes were just except for the old man the actual old man the vibes were just weird in this place oh icky icky icky

yeah well I hope that other people ate the pizza and then clogged up the toilets there so then the other people

couldn't use them yeah and then the next day Sunday the Lord's Day B day yep um

woke up about 11 a.m. because we were like we gotta sleep because prepare

concert doesn't start till 8 didn't they never mind like yeah i realized it yeah my adderall's kicking in got up we went to the mall and then went to the best barbecue place i've ever been to in my fucking life period point blank like period regardless of where you are i will fly back to houston Ma'am, I'll be right there with you. And just eat this barbecue and leave. I'll take Southwest.

I'll take Southwest. I trust you with my whole heart in terms of food. So we get there and like we're talking about stuff in the Uber and the Uber driver's like, yeah, this is like the place. And we like the essence of an old man also recommended this place, but I heard about it from other people. And also they own the Mexican restaurant I had gone to the night before. Oh, already good. and it was like down it was a block away so we go in and it's this little bitty like tiny building and there's just like a line out but the line's moving fast like we get through

the line 10 minutes and it's kind of like you got to be ready like they you don't sit down and order like you have to they've been slow cooking the meat they have the the uh barbecue grill is like in the wall like it's sticking out you can see it on the other side that's my favorite kind of place smells incredible they say do your research when you get there we are not waiting time for you to peruse a menu like get out of line we don't need your but that's my favorite kind of places i got up there and i was like i want um two meats uh they had a two meat dinner and i was like i want the beef ribs and he goes beef rib not on the meat not on the two meats and i was like i was like okay i just want to guess i'll do the one meat and then i ordered i didn't want chicken

but i ordered it because i was like i gotta move yeah i gotta move i meant to say brisket came out chicken whatever so whatever i get it and get my sides which were um coleslaw and potato salad yes not a young and in sight not a youngster in fucking sight and uh get my i ordered a sweet tea it was one you could go to i couldn't find it when i was like whatever i'm gonna eliminate you get a tray and i was like where the fuck are we sitting and then they're like there's more seats like outside we get they have like five different seating areas and another whole building where people so like the line is like long but there's so much seating room because they know that they're going to take up all of it sit down i pick up the bone

that the beef rib is on and it literally falls off and i was like oh my gosh it's so good and so then i'm just like i'm just in bliss eating like it was so in silence where you're just like this is ever this is heaven yes it was incredible like i don't i don't know how to describe it but it's the best and i usually like my barbecue cooked in the sauce yeah not adding it but they didn't do that but and so i had to i was like adding it i was like oh my god and they don't ask you like what kind of stuff they only have one sauce they also had like pickles that they had it was like homemade pickles and stuff like it was just a bar yes and it was just a bar where you can just pick like get as many as you want

oh my like megan that's my exact we have to go we'll go i'm gonna give them a shout out too because they deserve it that sounds amazing speaking of shout outs guess who i dm'd with the other day who are gluten-free baddies char what oh they responded to my story about my pizza And they said, I hope you enjoyed. And I said, I love. It is in our weekly rotation. It's in our weekly rotation. And I am a huge fan of legit everything y'all make.

And I still need to find the puff pastry. I like, I can't sing your praises enough. My friend and I talk about Char on our podcast all the time. You're changing the gluten-free game. And I said, thank you for your kind words. We appreciate the love and support. I'm into it. Your playlist might get you through the workday,

but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With Ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st.

Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. So the barbecue place is called The Pit Room. Oh, the name in itself. As we're sitting there eating, you get a text message from Ticketmaster saying that the concert that was supposed to start at 8 p.m. is going to start at 10 p.m. And everyone around us was also going to the concert, so it was a buzz. So everybody's like, what the fuck, man? I was like, well, I guess we can get a nap before we go.

after we're eating this barbecue nap yeah um and then so we decided to go get our nails done and then we're gonna go take a nap and we were getting our nails the nail salon was directly across the street from our hotel oh cute cute cute oh that looks nice i just got i just got um regular polish because my nails are brittle from the last time i got a gel but i've just never seen you with that color that looks it looks really good they had um this which i've never had heard of or didn't even know existed they have a clear coat that like dries instantly so it was like a gel because i was like yeah i'm like sitting there like waiting as the things blowing on it's like i can't pay her yet because i can't reach into my and she's like no you can

touch your nails they're dry and i was like what can we buy that for recreational home use i don't i was gonna look it up i haven't like imagine on your toes just put your shoes on yeah what the fuck yeah incredible and they still don't advance printers i know i know there's this man that was also going to the beyonce concert that was there getting his full like they they had like four different women on him he was getting a full facial he was getting his hands and feet done massage and getting the full scrub i was like was he getting this for beyonce for julian like what was i don't know wow can i just read you one yelp review for the pit room this is the only negative review i see on the front page pretentious good it's not pretentious though that's not sure

when texas became pretentious but this place is no matter how good the food is not not saying it is pretentiousness makes all the food subpar that is someone who got kicked out before he could eat yeah because you're literally sitting on a bench like it's not pretentious at all he saw the line and he said no yeah wow so getting our nails done and then there's another message that comes through said no it's eight okay while you're getting your nails done while we're getting our nails done thank god you had that instant dry top coat and that we were right across from the hotel so then we go get ready and then as we're getting ready there's a message that says from Ticketmaster saying so sorry which is still like an hour later saying so sorry we

sent out the one about 10 p.m. by mistake or whatever so whatever then we get into the car after we're all dressed and we get in and we're like we're going to the concert and when we sit down the woman's like i'm checking your purses this is an uber driver i'm checking your purses to make sure they're the right size and we're like yeah we got uber driver yeah and she's and i'm thinking you know like a girl's girl yeah like no she's like being like a girl's girl like okay she's like two oh well you're still at the hotel at the hotel oh yeah helpful yeah the um she's like there are some gals that got in the car yesterday um and they had like these big bags and i told them they need to take them back inside i was like great oh that's so nice

and then it went downhill from there oh no and i'll be sharing that on thursday but am i wrong these poor people have to wait to hear it but i get to hear it in like 10 minutes if that yes oh my god so how long was the drive it was only 15 minutes but it felt like two hours but anyway we get to the concert and uh i'll fill in the blanks when you listen on but am i wrong and then you know we're sitting in our seats it's so overwhelming just going through the crowds like i thought and in la for her concerts that i've been to and i know they did it for this last one too um there's always like a party in the parking lot like no one actually like goes in until it's almost time for the show to start everybody's partying in the

park like playing music laughing he he there's like food out and stuff was none of that it was just straight to business in texas i will say i think you can uh blame taylor because say this with love but people like who didn't get tickets started tailgating for her shows and now specific venues not even specific venues specific cities have made tailgating before concerts like prohibited in certain places boo yeah yeah so whatever we got in um and it was because i you know we were there a little bit early a lot early and um it was just it was too many people like they should have slowed down on letting people in yeah because i was like people were like getting crushed and like people that were carrying food couldn't even get it through the lines for the

merch were like around the corner even though there were like a ton of stations but every one of the lines were so full it was way too many people in there does she have an opener she's her own opener oh yeah so that because i was gonna say that's the thing when you have a an opener who's not you then people come it staggers the times that people arrive

yeah so then we're sitting and sit in our seats it's like 7.15 we've got like some drinks and stuff and 7.15

just waiting calming down from the rush Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter doesn't come out until

9.45 so they should have kept that 10 o'clock start time who who made the call to pull it back yeah yeah yeah but the concert was phenomenal and you had seats you were not you were in yes yes you could sit yeah i could sit um but yeah i couldn't i would no i can't do club renaissance where you can't sit at all um but yeah she was incredible like i've seen her three other times and she just keeps getting better and her voice was like raspy and i was like oh this is because she's been on tour for months now and i was like oh no she's not gonna be able to sing no salt like constant

professional her voice was so solid and perfect and the dancing was phenomenal and we got to see the visuals taste of the visuals that you know she hasn't released yet um cool yes and she's like here's a taste of it um and like it's out of this world like i say that like Like, I know that like Alien is part of this album, but like it's truly out of this world and it's very futuristic and sexual, like, like really empowering for your body. And it's just like hot. Oh, I'm so excited. Yeah. And yeah, she's saying there's different sections, like different, I don't know what you call it, but there's different segments.

and then the songs go with the segments and there's visuals for each of those segments and um she was i was just like and she also we like at the top she did more like ballads that are um older and she also did a tribute to um tina turner um and then like the renaissance part of it started and it was just great great phenomenal 10 out of 10 I don't I want to I was telling you earlier like I want to be an intern just because I want to see all the thought the thought process and the journey that goes in the planning that goes in because the way the music is even like mixed and how it's all put together is so like mind-blowing yeah I think if I could literally shout out anyone in any industry ever it would be her because like from the sense of

like conception of songs or albums to like you know we talked about how um the synesthesia of like seeing numbers or whatever and like doing all of that stuff that like her creative brain of visualizing uh a beat becomes a song becomes an era becomes a color palette becomes a visual becomes like all of those things that like then the execution of them is done immaculately but from the idea and conception and like we've also seen from all of her documentaries like how fucking hard she works and like the standard of perfection we're not even perfection but like the standard of effort she requires from like everyone that she works with everyone on her team like everyone needs to like you need to put forth all of your effort like you don't fucking half-ass

this i would just love to see that and i think about all the time of any nepo kid who is going to be like molded in a way that like everything has been like shown like those kids are gonna have a like a crazy work like a work ethic yes but like in the sense that like you are gonna be on a different level because you have this i mean jay-z's great but like you have this mother like this creative as a mom who shows you not only how to like dream it but like how to fucking do it yeah i would die yeah blue ivy came out i can't believe she's so she's growing up from like from the first time she it's not even just like her confidence i'm like you like i forget how much older kids look over like the course of a couple months yeah i was like damn you're getting older

yes uh and megan the stallion also came which you know i was super excited about even the possibility and i've been asking for it for months and then whatever gig that she had before i got canceled and was like this is it and i told no i told everyone do not spoil me about what happens on houston night one and of course avia does and i was like she's like i forgot i'm so sorry i mean it it was everywhere too i didn't know i i literally didn't see it for i was staying on tiktok yeah it's it's it's your people who will be the ones lay you down uh-huh and she's listening avia listens to our episodes especially when i talk about her so um here's a burning um and uh yeah so great great night getting an uber back was

a pain in the ass times two um we didn't end up getting back to the hotel till like two o'clock in the morning and my flight left i had to be at the airport at 4 30 I had to be no Catherine had to be back at the airport at 430 I had to be there

at 530 when I got to the airport the guy driving me was like there's gonna be a lot of people there

and I was like I'm here two hours early that I need to be and I have clear I didn't tell him that but I'm like I'll be fine

but he was like really like concerned did you sleep I slept for one hour that's remarkable yeah but

um this time it was a lot better because i had set an alarm 24 hours before so i got up at 5 30 on um whatever that was saturday sunday sunday yeah sunday and had checked in rolled over went back to sleep and so i was in b and i was number three so it was perfect i got where i exactly where i usually if i had booked it i always get left side of the plane over the wing that's where i sit in the window seat i got it it slept perfectly came back and i had work because i forgot to that's why i came back early because i forgot to mark it off my calendar that i wouldn't be working that day so but i had a amazing experience it was great i'm so glad you looked gorgeous thank you what were what you what was the thing that you're waiting on did it come from him did

you order from amazon those things to the hotel the dress i was wearing i had got it i had ordered it in black that's what i was waiting on but then um it was black with silver i once i got it i was like yeah this was the move but that was the only one that could get overnight into houston oh okay so same dress but in black i'm so glad you had such a good time i where when slash where do you think she's going to release the um behind the scenes documentary of either the album or i'm hoping album plus concert yeah i want the album i was looking at the set list the houston pacific because we got the whole album of renaissance and people in the earlier concerts didn't get all of it but the way that it's mixed is so much different than how it's on the things i think

i mean i maybe because it's just she has kansas city this weekend i think it's this weekend and that's the last stop i'm like kansas city hot spot right now i can't i can't even i can't yeah i think it'll probably be after that because she's been dropping merch like she's done four merch drops throughout the tour and so i feel like she'll do one final merch drop no probably one merch job for kansas and then do another one in like a few weeks that'll be a teaser and probably you can get the album like on a vinyl yeah like the and then it'll probably i think a couple months where they can properly i don't know she has people working around the clock so i don't i truly don't know because like you know she was like the first person to drop an

album with no advertisement for it at all um so she she likes she doesn't want us to know her next move she doesn't she's never she hasn't released the visuals for this album that's been out for almost a year if not a year now yeah and so who i i can't predict i can't predict i want to see it so bad especially because like of how predominantly featured like the twins are in all of the dances like how blue like the starting of this towards like the like the beginning of the first time doing it towards the end like i want to see all like every like this is such a all of her everything she does is such like a labor of love but like this has such a collective kind of it feels like it's like a family feel like she literally gets like she looks like these are her

children some of them are by blood others not and like it's just like i want to see yeah how this came to be because like i'm it feels like so exciting for everybody me too and i wonder if she's going to mention that there were visuals that she didn't like and then dropped it which i it has that has to be the only explanation yeah because i i have i i have questions yeah and i think since like i think some stuff didn't get finished which is why people didn't get the full album that saw it earlier in tour too yeah because the the visuals that were there which we got like full like mini videos in between each segment so they're like five mini videos and they're like works of art truly i i want her to clear it up because taylor swift then when she dropped

midnight said it's a visual album and all of us said lemonade fantastic we are getting videos forever we're getting transition videos like we're getting everything uh i'm dead serious she i think there's two music videos no three she wrote three music videos and i went that is not a visual album did you get confused because people thought brennan i was like beyonce can you clear this up so other people don't start overselling yeah yeah no but i think hers is a sense because i've seen a lot of people who did um costuming for it and like they were like so excited to see like the visuals like she wore something of mine i can't tell you what it is but like you'll see and i'm like i don't think she something she didn't like yeah so um yeah i'm i'm really

excited i had a dream last night that me and her were just hanging out which i think would be possible because oh my god the whiplash i got this by the way i did both of these back to back with the shack story telling mott and um his parents and then i had they were like this is crazy and i go you know it's actually not that crazy and now we have to stop making fun of melissa's dad because this is he was not lying when he says i know everybody everyone's related and and this wasn't even my this is my cousin-in-law no but it's your dad has the mindset and he does have the mindset he has put that onto you so like even with you not having the mindset you resisting and rejecting his mindset you've been given this that you've

been given the nugget of family so I'm we're at this was we were eating at the Mexican restaurant and I was asking my cousin-in-law I was like are you going to the concert and she was like no because they're going someplace in Mexico now they're there now and then they my cousin he had to go out of town for chicago for work stuff like on sunday so it's like she's like it's too much this weekend and then uh brian's like did you know that beyonce is her cousin i go what and i thought they were joking and he was like and brian's not like a joker like that either he's very he has the deepest voice that you've ever heard in your life and so vocal notes yeah and so like he's not like a joke like he can't like do a joke because his voice is so freaking

deep yeah so you just believe whatever he says like i was kidding it's like i guess i can't do that yeah so he um he's like on we had he was we had been dating for a year and i go back where i was looking through a photo album and was like that looks like beyonce's mom it's a family photo album and she goes that is tina's my cousin and he's like what so they're grandmothers they're sisters that's so close yeah yeah i was like we didn't get you free tickets you didn't get a house of darion wedding dress right like come on pull those strings because that's actually crazy yeah so Beyonce's my cousin-in-law Jay-Z's my cousin-in-law Solange is my cousin-in-law Blue Ivy's my cousin-in-law the twins are my cousin-in-law Miss Tina is my

cousin-in-law so don't fuck with her this is like you roll and then if we won't even get into your sorority sisters I know this bitch is I insert blank name of um superhero franchise assemble yeah destiny's child was there the first night all the two original other originals and kelly and michelle they were they were there and i was hoping for them to be like yeah like the night before you know it was just us in the crowd and then we'll be on stage the next night but that didn't happen but well they did that for um but not with and but not with latavia and uh latoya the original two oh my mind in my mind i rewrote history oh it was yes kelly and michelle yeah and beyonce kept saying like singing like little things she'd be like say my name say my name

like she would say it and i was like like everybody was like she was teasing and then people know that in the say my name video it is latavia and latoya's vocals but it is michelle and that other one farrah visually so i i was like if she does is this messy and you know what she would do it she would she would and we'd eat it up i would be like nothing about that was doing it yeah don't talk don't don't speak ill of her she was she was being completely honest and totally kind not at all shady i would have loved that oh what a time yeah no we now we need something else to um get us through the the cold winter months i know something to look because we've both been so on our concert bullshit i know there's so you're

going to gel monet i am there's something else coming up that you're going to be mad at me about that i'm going to oh no well you're already seeing plan a boss with at janelle monae they're not going to be at her concert oh okay so then i can be mad at you because now i don't have to be mad at you for that yeah am i gonna be more mad at you shut the fuck up hold on and kindle because kindle invited me to go with her it's not a singer but it is my mind went to i was like share abba i'm like me kendall me a white woman kendall a white woman i thought you're gonna say kendall was gonna be mad too that kendall invited you to go to i don't know what i like z way i cannot be mad at you for that because if kendall invited me and not you that would be problematic yes it

would be problematic but i was how did she get tickets wait i was gonna text you and say she's coming to la let's go i think i did send you on instagram when she did her show announcement yeah and then I didn't realize we just never followed up to get tickets yeah I just I thought there would be a post and by the time they were on sale they were already sold out and so then Kendall sent me a message and he's like do you want to go see Z-Way and I was like well it's sold out and she and she said someday and I thought she meant it's like the 25th but it was of October and I thought she meant September and I was like I'm gonna be in Houston and she's like in October oh oh october and that's when it's like that around there whatever and um and then so then

i went she told me i was like she said that they added another day and i was like oh and so then i went to see if the tickets were still on sale so then you could come but they were they were gone i'm happy for you and i don't know i don't know how she like it doesn't really seem i'm sure she probably got them from somewhere it's not really up kendall's alley you know so my thought process is I think that she must have had, because I don't think that she would know Z-Way in depth enough to then not be like, I got a block of tickets instead of two. And like, and she, she's going to love her.

She sent me, well, she sent me a video like of Z-Way a few years ago and I was like, Kendall, I know who Z-Way is. I am a big fan. and then i told her about the showtime show and then that's when she started watching it and so then like she's a fan so but then also the tour is called like your black friend or something so would be odd if maybe she saw that as an instruction and said melissa but hey no i would be if she invited me i would have been like how many tickets do you have like did you invite melissa and then i'd be like we have to find another ticket or she can go i tried to and that's why

I held off on telling you. But also imagine if Z-Way did crowd work and she sees me and Kendall singing together and she goes, do you see the name of the show? And I would, I would have to sit there in that guilt and go, I took the ticket from, I took the ticket from Melissa. I would never. No, I'm so, I'm excited for you though. That's, that's one that like, I'm incredibly jealous, but much like Beyonce, I have faith that everybody who works for her is such a huge fan that they are going to ensure the success that i will see the the outcome whether it's a movie a tv like i'll see the the filmed version maybe she'll do more dates and i tried i tried to get you a ticket i appreciate that maybe day of we can find something oh yeah no that's actually a good

call i'll look a day up by the what the fuck the outfit i would have to i know i've got to you've got to have the outfit already melissa i have to get tickets day of i dress emily radikowski you dress as d-way when we are there and we take a picture in our seats yes and we do the good yes i'm obsessed when we have my life i'm automatically assigning myself so i'm emily wow look at you know you got your car got hit but you can't stop winning i know i looked at the dent yes like i went i temporarily forgot no i temporarily forgot and then i got in my car and i saw it and i was like why yeah we need to get you a blind spot like a part in your eye that's just dark every time you try and look at it i'm gonna get it fixed what about how big of a dent

is it because you know there's ones that they can do where it's like you suction like yeah it gets a suction one but then there's also like some other stuff from other people hitting me um needs a little tune up yeah it just needs i need more that specific one can be pulled out but then there's some other ones that can't so so what you're saying is it needs some tlc and on that note this is see next tuesday tune in on thursday where you can hear the rest of the story and then uh enjoy us and if you want us to have more fun experiences like this like buying tickets to beyonce doing that um if you have a family member or you work for any sort of live events company you'd like to invite us please do we might not always go but like we'll respond to your email

and like we'd love to or feel free to join our patreon so we can make some money and we can attend these things and if you work for a company that does podcast advertising put us in a box not in a i mean you can put us in a box and like sell us in a box but i meant like if your company has a box that they're doing for something at a concert we'll be there we'd love it rip me off the plastic i'm acting brand new that's all she wrote all right goodbye goodbye We'll see you next Tuesday Your playlist might get you through the workday But have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs?

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