Don't Blame Me! - SYNT: Beyoncé is Taylor's Proud Mom

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Meghan and Melisa ask each other @questionsforlove and discuss and Beyoncé and Taylor Swift. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome to happy tuesday welcome to happy tuesday happy happy tuesday look inside my see you next tuesday cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunty cunty cunty cunty i suddenly i have school spirit suddenly i'm a cheerleader c-u-n-t-y was it spelled cunty cunty cunty i'm about to do a toe touch no i'll break i'll split in half i wonder if i can still do one i i there is something about gymnasts and cheerleaders people who did stunting tumbling like for a couple years like a good chunk of their life and their adolescence of like growing up that you don't lose it like you'll go to a party and someone's like let me do a backbend and you're like okay i can do that i know i can do that like that's so impressive because i do stretches all

the time so i know i can do a backbend i get dizzy if i like oh i've started to get dizzy like if i lean my head like if i'm laying down and like i like put my head over like the arm handle of a couch even slightly and i like tip it i'm i'm i'm out i can't it's i can't see shit if i sit down too fast or go down into a stretch too fast i like there was a day a couple weeks ago where i was like i'm never doing this again unless somebody else is here because i literally felt like i was drowning and you probably get that sensation and i was like i had to stand like i stopped the workout i had to stand up i wouldn't chug some pickle juice and then no it's like it's alarming yes my like i felt the like you're like i'm going under i'm going under

no it is it it's like you realize you go i can't do this alone so like that's like when we do our live streams i'm feeling brave and like they're tendrick i'll stand up and then i'm like i gotta sit right back down but i'm like but hey something happens i've got everyone here to be like girl went down moths help her out so so mostly yeah i will call moths and then i will come over exactly like so it's just but i do all the fucking time i will have those moments where i go this is this is maybe no longer a safe thing for me to do speaking of months i realized that in about i realized this about five years ago but i just never changed it that i completely misspelled his phone his last name in my contacts and then every time well it's not like i see it recently

but like when he would come over and like pick things up for you and would text me that he was here you're like who is that yeah that's funny and i still haven't changed it i will have that with like there's certain people who are in my phone as so like claudia is in my phone as beyond sexy star and so like her username you see beyond beauty star and so like there are times like well look at a voice. I'm like, Oh my God, it's Claudia. Like, this is so funny. And there are people who have me in their phone as something entirely different. And I looked through my phone. When I tell you that I have to say something that I've consistently been good at is using descriptors for the people and the contacts in my phone. I have a contact. It goes from people I know. And like,

this is very specific. So I know exactly who this is to something so vague that I go, I have no idea who this could be i have agent from hell it's one of my old agents do you know specifically who it is yes it is my first agent i ever had then i have airbnb couldn't tell you which one that is any airbnb um then i have people with usernames um like their youtube usernames then i have some people who i called by celebrity names instead of their youtube usernames but i still know who those people are and then for sororities i would put a key like a like a like the kappa the yeah yeah so a little emoji but then i wouldn't do it for everyone so i'm like okay who's amelia who's anthony i have so many anthony's i have so many anthony's and then i used to put people's jobs

you don't just put that in the area that they designate for jobs because there is a area for jobs that you can put it but this is just i don't know the last time i added new contact like i just they've transferred over to now i have one two three four five six of the same phone number for every contact like you can do the thing where it consolidates yeah i also have neiman marcus beverly hills i get you saved that is that the person that was going to get you the purses maybe also who's brandon go brandon like oh i have an x in there who's bunny somebody's grandmother also the amount of caitlins i have spelled differently like there's no shot if i need to get in contact with a caitlin that i would be able to do so i have a lot of feelings

about hot air balloons a the fact that you're scary you're terrifying you're so scared like you're standing the whole time with fire next to an open flame and you can't even sit you have to stand and then they tell they give you instructions they go now move to this side so we can and i go i'm so sorry choose your own adventure where my life is literally on the line no thank you like we're flying in the air and you're asking me to have a job like my only job on an airplane is maybe i'll be in an emergency exit row i don't find anything sexy like if somebody was like do you want to go on a date on a hot air balloon no also you're like shoulder to shoulder with strangers people who propose in hot air balloons i'm like do you have the shortest legs on earth

like how do you even manage to do that people did it for um the work retreat matz's work retreat someone brought it up that they're like oh hot air balloons and i was like that's terrifying and they're like oh we went yesterday and i was like happy you're still here with us and then i asked them where they took off off from and they pointed to the parking lot across the street and i was like no hard fucking pass like what happened were you just gonna run into what if you hit the frozen yogurt chop that's right there like it's just there's it's too much and they're pulling the thing the fact that they're just like pulling little there i know they're not little but they're pulling like strings to guide it that's scary if i can see

the depiction of this in a picture book and then in real life it goes that's exactly how it works no no i i can't tell you how an airplane flies in the air and that's fine yes the fact that i can tell you that like there are three steps to a hot air balloon no thank you no thank you but they're gorgeous they're so pretty it's pretty i love to look them look at them but i don't want to be in it i don't want to be in it and i don't want to know anybody who's in it like i don't want to like have the fear of like people's lives who i like i care about everyone else's lives but like i can't be personally invested in the safety of the passengers no this is most of one fell mon came into my nose last night when i was hugging moth i just smacked myself in the face

because there's a little gnat on it my bug person's coming on monday so best of luck because it's an it's a los angeles problem like shit i know but this happens every other trooper and then when he comes i don't see him again he comes like every three months and i don't see him again into three months from there that's fucking nice yeah yeah no a gnat flew into my nose yesterday no thank you i thought it was gonna come out my mouth there's a giant spider like not on here it's like up in the tree and you can see it fuck that i will be exiting not out that door i'm that's why i'm letting you know so i don't forget it is giant like the web is humongous like a fucking thick it's a bounce back web yes the thick ones where

if you hit it it's like no there's a but it's too high up it's still too high up but you know they like to just drop no I can't I I actually like to not think about that specifically like I pretend that I never learned that spiders do that and I pretend it's made up for children's books and then also you know when they like sometimes it looks like there's just like a leaf just floating in the air but it's actually like a spider coming down the web and just hiding behind the leaf no incognito mode and I'm not gonna bother you like them like I'm like you do your thing i do my thing i do need us though i need to know where you are like i would like to have life 360 on the spiders in my life so this is the tiktok user questions for love if you would

like to see what she posts are you ready i'm gonna ask you one okay yeah i'm ready how would you describe me to someone who has never met me before that's a good question i mean it it wholeheartedly depends who it is yes because i'm if it's someone who i know that you would strongly dislike and they're trying to be like hey i love her i love her vibe i think she's like so cool what is she like and i'm like melissa would kill me if i gave her a going review and then you slid into her dms or email address and ask for a professional contact i would be like oh you know she's she's she's cool um i would i would describe you as busy in that case okay swamped um but to someone who i'm like oh i would be like oh my god she's amazing like she's the best she's so funny

um i would then say do you know about are you familiar with astrology and they would say yes because why else would i be talking to them and then i would be like classic aquarius and i can't confirm or deny if i would immediately bring up that like she wants to have sex with an alien um and when it's people that i like and i'm talking to someone else that i like and i'm sharing about someone i like this is like how when you talk about cammy or when cammy will talk to me about other people it's just like oh no she's one of us and it's like oh yeah yeah so that's probably how i would describe or i would say like you know she grew up in the south moved around a lot like i don't know if i would give if it was somebody that uh you'd be like this is gonna be

the love of melissa's life oh my god that's so much pressure first of all i would probably do what you did with the shack picture and i would sneak a little photo to you to be like i need you i need to know how hard i can go like this is this is your this is your fucking person but like i i need to confirm that like you you feel it too from this image before i go fucking balls deep i would play it so cool though i would just be like oh i have someone i think like you should meet and i they i would i would give them that like intrigue of that because also you're intriguing and like you're i think you're very yourself on lot and like in people who like hear you on the pot like you're very yourself but like you're very intentional with that so like i would i would

plant the seeds to be like oh you and they'd be like well tell me more about her and i'm like you just have to meet her like there's nothing i could say that like you just have to meet her she's an experience that's what i'm saying and then they would be like oh my god i'm fucking in and then you'd arrive and you'd be like you're in um this girl i know that i've only i've met her virtually like in a writing group and i think i might have gone a little too hard with something she i don't think she appreciated it she uh she's also an aquarius and posted this meme whereas is that from that movie like yeah jennifer's okay so there's uh it's split into two how aquarius see themselves and there's megan fox with a lighter to her tongue and it

says i am god and then the other half says how others see aquarius and it's an alien with the sombrero in a car or something it looks like like the vibe is going through a drive-thru yeah like huh like what you said i can't hear you and so i said to her i said uh what day is your birthday birthday on and she goes the 23rd haha and i said a january aquarius and then she goes yup and i said that's unfortunate and then she just saw it and then respond didn't respond and when i tell you that like there is a very big stark difference between the difference in the month of which zodiac zodiac sign you are like yeah it explains a lot and all of the aquariuses in my life are february aquariuses i don't have a january like i don't even realize i'm like you can be an

aquarius in january like i forget yeah and same thing with august leos yeah mots's brother and casey are both july leos and we're so different yeah you know yeah very much so well it's hard now i'm like because i sent it yesterday and she saw it so i'm like do i have to say haha i was just joking now i just thought that as two aquarius is because we each other without the formalities i thought i thought we were language we met in a writing class i was i was right these are pros like what do you mean i have to explain the joke no that's not fun um i'm just gonna put in parentheses just kidding and then she's like you sent this a day later yeah you're like oh this has been on my mind this is a great question okay imagine that we got a call from the guinness

book of world records telling us that we broke a world record without even realizing it what record did we break oh conversations that are that last the longest that are one way but it is a two-way conversation i i i was thinking the something along very similar along the lines of like longest conversation without punctuation or without filling in the blanks on the other side like where it's one of those things where it's like a conversation where it's like we're all speaking the same language but two people who didn't know us would be like what the fuck are you talking about what the fuck are you talking about why do y'all hate each other uh-huh uh-huh and like do you understand each other like neither of you are understanding it's

like no no no will we and i could also say like the most times the word cunt has been said on a podcast maybe um and we're not being derogatory no it's a celebration of the cunt of the cunt within us all what inanimate object has the same energy as me a chaise lounge that's you i don't think i'm that fabulous you just like to lounge i do i wouldn't say like a couch so a recliner is that better no moss wanted to get a recliner and i was like we are not at that point in our age yet like let's settle down i would say to you for you i would say like um and this might not even be something that you like but just energy wise like one of those really luxurious freestanding bathtubs oh yes that is 100 me but like with like the gold claw feet and where

people see it and they go oh my it's like it's unattainable but you're like i want to be that and it has this the water comes from the seal yeah that's 100 i literally have that of course saved and you're fucking i'm not gonna say because we don't like ai you have to yeah you have to abandon your your ai um interior design no that one is like a legit one that i did okay and i saved it those ai ones i have it saved in a spreadsheet for dream bathroom i'm just like obsessed with the fact that like i have pinterest boards and you're like no i have a spreadsheet i do have a spreadsheet because it doesn't just come from pinterest and i know you can pin things from other websites on pinterest but i don't like that i need it all to be uniform yeah that's that's

that's what we different um i see myself as like a yoga ball or um the yoga ball that's like for children that has handles that you sit and bounce on see i don't see you as that because if you bounce that much you're gonna bruise too easily i know but it's just so fun or or and you're not a little more high strung than a hammock you're not a bouncy person i guess that's true it depends on the i'm not externally always bouncy yeah she's an internally bouncy person maybe i'm just an empty bottle of adderall or like a parking ticket like or a late fee oh i could write a dissertation on this one imagine i was just crowned the rule of a small island nation i can make any changes or new laws

i want in the snap of a finger what would the first thing i did as royalty you would take over so quickly like this is you your hoa dreams yes like you should talk about that when gabe and allison also come over but do they know about your hoa obsession like you can never be in an hoa because you will be a terror no no here's a thing i wouldn't want to not be your i wouldn't want to be your enemy but like i'm gonna make it a better place i agree i i don't doubt that and like you're the same like i would want you to run the pta and then i would love to just be riding on the coattails like showing up to the meetings like late with like with with some with a nice little iced beverage for us and people are like oh my god she doesn't even do and she gets the

and then like you assign everyone jobs and you give me like and you know what job you'll have and i know it's moral support and it's nothing that's going to be too hard for me yeah but like everyone's like she's playing favorites like this is just not fair and i'm like i so sorry that you didn't fall into the favor category that's try harder that's not my problem no making this great for everyone yeah i can't wait to write like just benefit from that this is funny if we just switch lives for a day what would you be the most and least excited to do with me i've told you this before i want to be able to just talk the way that you talk oh i thought you were gonna say this the height difference i don't you don't care i don't care about height i want to be able to just

get any subject and just talk and just go no it's i think that you would i think you would become like over like it's like there's um there's like a buzzing in the in my in my body that you would be like oh my god this is how it happens and yeah that's that's what i would do that's fair i do feel like i run on electricity sometimes yeah um if i were you i would be i'm not gonna lie to you I do think the height thing I would be very interested in, in just like seeing the world. You can't also just squat down. I know,

but then I, but then I'm thinking about like the pain in my thighs. Um, but I mean, I would always be interested in living in a day in a body with someone who doesn't have ADHD. Like, I think that would be very cool.

Um, but. I do get, I will say, do you get sidetracked a lot, but I have notes that bring me back. No, I would I would actually probably just be so excited to like wake up and live a life knowing

that like past you thought about future you you know that like I think if I just I wouldn't need I would need to give you like a handbook to be like this is how to start I just want to go I think that like if I was being you like you you've set up your life in a way that like it's logical that I'm just like this makes sense this this checks out for me if you suddenly discover that i have a secret room in my house that i've been hiding from you what would you assume is inside it all the projects that you started and didn't finish and when i i tell you that that is my dream room like i also did i tell you that i found out monster's mom told me that she went to a store that her sister had suggested she go to that is a store that where people just donate

their started and unfinished projects and you can buy them it's like a thrift store so you can like someone started knitting a scarf and then you can buy it and finish it and i was like man that's the smartest store idea of my life i would live there and she got like um it's not like a not a stick and poke what the fuck is this cross stitch the the needling that thing it's not like it is that it's not that but it's something similar to that and she's just finishing and it was like three dollars that should be just like a place you can go hang out a day you know like somebody started something and you work on it and you're like i'm done with this and like the next person can come in and finish it or whatever like a relay yeah or just being like

it's i can't get past this hard part like it's like a level in a video game like i can get past this part like can you do this for me and then like i want to pick it back up and i'm like for sure yeah like that sounds like just like a place to go hang out during the day that's like we need to bring that's that's a village that is i like that me too think about that um what would i have um oh my god first of all you could have 10 000 and i wouldn't know i wouldn't know about them the issue with this question of having a secret room is there's no way i would keep it as a secret from you like i would just tell you you would have a full storm shelter bunker um you would have a with a panic room um that has like like presidential level iron doors that come down

um i could also see you have having like an archive of you know like kim kardashian has like an archive of like all of like her outfits like you could if you had the option to have multiple like temperature controlled secret rooms like i think you would have archives of other things that you like or you've had over the years um because you you moved around so much you didn't get to keep any of that stuff so now it's like it's true you're gonna get mannequins that this is I have this outfit from the time that I did this um I think you'd have like a full like wine cellar without the wine and just with various um almond cow products and I mean you already have like your well you don't have it but like you have the need for your uh what's that that freezer box

thing deep freezer deep freezer um but yeah i could also see you having like a zero gravity room or a uh oh that's good i need to add that to the list everything you already said already on the list or like a sensory deprivation tank like those i don't know that you would want that specific but things like that i do have the sensory deprivation but the other zero gravity zero gravity i don't have but yeah i have a same spreadsheet i have a tab called spa spa room it's like it would look like what you would think that if if anyone else went in they would be like is this like a villain's lair yeah but it's like oh no it's just that we haven't seen a good person with money like this it's so long the next one i got to already exists if we start a podcast tomorrow

what we spend most of the episode talking about oh my god at this point i don't even know what other podcasts we could have it would just be but am i watching yeah because every we've made everything encompass everything else so like we do we talk about our lives we do internet deep dives um we shit talk even like we have current events we talk about new stuff like it would have it would just be a podcast for only us to listen to where we it's all the stuff we cut out where we are talking about people we don't realize oh yeah like that would be a personal yeah a personal podcast a conversation is really what that is if i were to hypothetically start a cult tomorrow what bizarre

belief or practice would it revolve around because i think you'd do anything for the bit yeah i would like you don't even have to believe things that i've started on this podcast that i don't even remember if it was i know that i genuinely started it as a bit yep and now it's just you don't know where the bit ends and you begin like it's just like you will start a rumor about yourself and then go i think that might be true and it's like what like you're like so i know i've done it several times yeah i have no clue like there is nothing that someone could say like oh in her in like the what is like the cult creed the cult manifest what's the like the the doc the thing that it's based off of or like the the doctrine yes like there's not one there i could

i genuinely think you could you would do any of it as a bit because like it could be like really really awful things and then i'm like well yeah this is a master plan she's she's fixing them or she's she's dealing with the problem or it is like she's just and then i could see you and you're like you go in the back room and you've got your little cloak on and then the door shuts and you're like how funny is this it's just like oh my god and you're like what it's great i'm having a great time and then you pull up your laptop and you're like look how much i've written about this this is about to be they're not ready yeah that's true i think for you i don't know i don't know if you i think like you would think about it a lot but i don't know if it actually

get executed no no and the issue is is that like i need everybody to care about the things that i care about so deeply but i also need to care the most about them and so like if there's something that like i'm in love and obsessed with and then someone else like oh i if they're like oh i don't like that i'm like that's the wrong answer but if they say i also love and i'm obsessed with it i go no that's the wrong answer because i have to love it the most and then i also think that you would just get over the people so fast you're like i don't want to look at these people anymore no i'm done so then you wouldn't have like followers no i would the the legwork that you have to do to start and maintain a cult is something that i have zero desire to do like

i have zero follow-through with that yeah and i also don't like i don't like yes men you know because like i need us to have a conversation if someone's like oh yeah you're right and i go no no i need more words than that like i need us this needs to be a dialogue see for me i don't like yes people but when i think of it as a joke i'm like yeah no that's it's hilarious i would join and then i can be like the um like the plant you know in in those um uh like what would you do shows that can be me and i just am acting as if i'm a part of it and then they're like i didn't know you it's like when adele pretended to be to join the adele impersonators but it was adele we need more content like that i agree like i don't love a hidden camera unless

it's for positive things speaking of singers we didn't even bring up the thing that happened last night oh that beyonce came to taylor swift's musical theater performance yes and i say this with love as a taylor swift fan you cannot tell me you look at those pictures and it does not look like a mother who's attending her child's performance to play but like the hot mom no it is the mom that like like everybody wants to fuck like there's a group chat between all of the parents and all the teachers being like mother is here yes and taylor's like oh my god mommy thank you for being here and she's like anything for my girl and she wears sunglasses the whole fucking time and funny thing is for beyonce's movie i got sunglasses that look very similar

you guys are connected i know so i i just i i loved it i thought it was so fun and funny leaning into the people who are trying to pit them against each other and um specifically i cannot believe that it was at the grove like the idea that they showed up together to the grove when like when i tell you like most of i've talked mad shit on parking and like different places like the grove is the one that we when we have to go see movies and it's like oh a movie at the grove that is like a i'm so sorry yeah and this is but you know what i do at the grove okay you valet i told monson he went she is so smart and i was like i know and he was like that's what we're gonna do and i was like okay but like the idea of them getting on the escalator because there's

know where the closest their car can get either they're walking through the main strip or they got on an escalator in that gown yeah that's fucking hilarious it's so funny to me and like i always think about that in general with like i like to remain ignorant about red carpets like i like to pretend that they are they start and finish where the photo is cropped but like when you then start going to these things and you see people in these designer gowns and they are literally standing in the gutter it's crazy but also we as we talked about too the grove is so steep so like imagine people in these dresses climbing up that steep ass it's not you can't like it's inside the movie theater you can't escape it it's just like you gotta take like

my little legs i gotta raise my knee to my chest yeah you're doing with high knees yes you're gonna it is literally like a tabata workout class like and like that is where for everyone who does not know that is where the quinta video oh he's got money it's shot and so now imagine popcorn taylor swift is standing behind quinta in that video yeah preparing for like it is just it is such an i'm like out of all places why well it's also not um a movie theater that does premiere screenings no that's what i'm saying like think of your everyday amc why that's where you have to walk through the mall to get that's what i mean i'm like think of that like this is not the chinese theater this is not like you're passing the uh this is the uh juice place is right there

in the middle creation no it's not creation marmalade nope uh oh pressed pressed yeah you're passing by pressed juice you're passing by the person selling hats like you have to pass by a made well in the middle like it there there's a kiosk like you have to cross by the fountain and you have to like be next to the fountain where people are eating at the restaurant through the restaurants you're cutting through sprinkles when you come down the escalator you like on your right is the sunglasses store and then there's also isn't it still the cupcake yeah that's like sprinkles and it's just like there is no anonymity there like you see everyone and this is not even like where they play indie films or like where it's like oh

they're doing a screening like people that are in town or like visiting go to this place yeah for like people that live in la don't even come here it's like i've had to go a couple times like the times that i've gone is because i had to go see a movie for a certain reason and that was the only place that was that wasn't sold out i love it during christmas time and it's an experience but like you just go there and you walk around you don't go there as a in a gown yeah for a premiere of them i'm just it's just it's just it's just so funny to me and again like i cannot stress enough to people there's nowhere for a car to go like you have to she's being dropped off it's like she's going to school like a block away it's like you're being dropped off

and then like girls go yeah girls gotta walk or she has to go into the parking garage like i'm like ma'am like and like the grove when there's a tree letting ceremony and it was either in sync or backstreet boys or 90 degree one of those i feel like it was 98 one of those boy bands was there and when i tell you the roads within a three mile radius shut the fuck down like it was everything was shut down and that is for a boy band which i cannot name a single member this nick lachey okay there you go there's one this and people were invited to this and what the initial photos i just want to say kudos to everyone in los angeles who was invited where they made sure that from their photos you couldn't really tell they were the girl because they're

like that is like relatively embarrassing weird fact it took me until it was like reported like at the grove that i was like girl the grove yeah i sent you a picture of it yes like because i was like do you want to just go to the grove to hang out and see this but you'd missed it lord um but yeah uh but that's all we hope you all enjoyed and uh we'll see you see you next tuesday Bye. Bye.