Don't Blame Me! - SYNT: The P Is Always Open

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Meghan's voice is back, but can it survive a heated debate on MENSA myths and finger-counting shortcuts? Melisa's Renaissance Film euphoria takes a hilarious turn after a post-screening mishap, and the hosts dive into the fascinating world of IQ tests. Is finger counting a secret weapon against test anxiety? Tune in to this week's double-dose episode and find out! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello hi it is tuesday we did not see you last tuesday but we are here for the next tuesday we're sorry you know sometimes sometimes your moms have things to do and sometimes those things are losing their voice and your immune system failing you yeah sometimes those things sometimes sometimes mommy sometimes mommy loses her voice sometimes mommy gets sick and has to sleep on the bathroom floor and sometimes the mommy sicknesses do not align yeah which is fucking crazy and i do think the last time we recorded i think i'm on record saying i'm worried i'm about to get sick you did you did say that and for the people who are not in our patreon um we have our live stream on friday and i have a habit of either telling you melissa just like everything just like an update of like

everything on my life and then other times i'll just forget and then i'll you know tell you next time i talk to you and when i joined our patreon live stream it took me a second for like me to get to the right video window and so i'm like talking and i'm like oh hey look and i like finally opened the video and everyone is looking at me with this like what the fuck face and then you were like who's speaking right now and i felt like those jokes where people pretend that like their kids are invisible and they're like I can't see you and I'm like what do you what like that's how I felt it was like this I was like who the hell is that because I forgot to tell you I was like oh by the way I lost my voice and you're like what the fuck has happened to you in the last like

I don't like what was it like 40 like eight hours between the time we talked well because we had recorded on Friday I believe and we did the live stream on Saturday yeah so it wasn't even like 24 Or like it was just a day later and you were like, who is this bitch? That is not the bitch I talked to yesterday. I'm like, that's not the bitch I was yesterday. We finally came to the conclusion you sounded a little bit like Lindsay Lohan.

Which is so kind because the other suggestions I got from people were Awkwafina, but you corrected to what's her- Nora from Queens. There you go. Cause I'm like Nora Ephron, Nora Jones. She's not a Nora to me. so like i don't even it automatically is different um and then someone else said you

someone said jennifer lawrence which i was like a lie but so kind emma stone a lie but so kind and then someone said you you sound like my chain-smoking grandma when she was on her death bed and i was like and i love a down-home family feel that was um it was a fun time it was a great live stream and um i love our patreon so that they they were all privy to why i don't think any of them were shocked that um we didn't talk they didn't hear from us this last tuesday because they were like well i heard what her voice sounded like last time uh-huh uh-huh so um as we're recording this is monday december 4th and i put out an old but goody episode of don't blame me today that is with mitchell davis about um anal sex and i i the title of the episode was originally

I want to try anal with an exclamation mark and I had to I changed it we were in a different mind space then when we were really trying to shock people with the title so I changed it to uh something like trying to go through the back door or something like that I forgot exactly what I said love is an open door actually my asshole is a closed door is it though well right now I don't want to complain about too many things but let's just say we know I fucked up my knee and in turn of trying to baby my knee I think I went a little too I know I know I went a little bit too hard and I was elevating it too much to the point where uh everyone's called a sublax where you like kind of pop something out of it so my hips got real fucked up because I kept

doing that do you remember when I said to alternate do you remember those words that I said I only ever they all I only heard them in my head the second that I took my foot down my leg down from being elevated and I realized these hips are not where they're supposed to be and then in my head I just heard you go like make sure to alternate and I was like cool really a little too late for that um voice in my head of your voice um so my asshole like my body is working so hard to keep my hips together that like I when I tell I look like those memes of turtles on their hind legs like i can't unclench my ass right now i'm working hard at it okay so um this asshole is this asshole is closed okay well but the other hole that's open is my mouth i didn't know where

that was going well the pussy's always open and that's one of those things that freaks me out you know i don't i'm afraid of open water because like it's just a hole that i can't do anything about like i can't like it's just it's open i can't shut it yeah you can you can't not really you can cross your legs yeah i wish you could like your hips are out of place so vagina dentata that'd be nice you know please let's not even go there are you sure you don't want to go there i'm a positive i don't want to go there well how are you what's new to you i'm good um i saw beyonce movie on friday night how was it let me tell you about this adventure we're about to go on are you ready i i don't know but i think so okay so my cousin got sick so she was unable to go

that means we had two extra tickets wait so she got sick two weeks too late too but it's not it wasn't hers is more exhaustion because she's working seven hours a day i mean not seven hours a day that's normal seven days a week 12 hours a day yeah holiday season well i was gonna say because you went with her to janelle monae and that's where you got sick yes yeah we were supposed to be doing some holiday stuff this week it's not happening um and uh so she got sick slash exhaustion um we had two extra tickets so i posted in black girls la group well i asked a few friends but they're either going or not going and um so we posted in black girls la group for somebody to join us they did they seem nice they're from

canada we didn't really talk because she was like an hour late and left an hour early which means And she still got a whole hour because the movie is three hours long. Oh, shut the fuck up. That was a plot twist for me. I was like, so she didn't come? Yes. But she seemed nice and she was nice in messages. And so I got there a little early to meet her, but she didn't come.

But I got interviewed by USA Today. Oh, my. Of course. Of course. How would I expect anything different? I should have known in this conversation. It was like, let me tell you what my dad. I'm like, I should have assumed you got interviewed by USA Today.

Yes. That's what happens when you go out in public. they flock to you uh-huh so i got interviewed by usa today um and i taught i was just bullshitting things to make up because i'm like i'm here just for the vibes i'm not here to analyze things but she's like what does beyonce mean to you and i was like freedom beyonce means freedom she she does she does think you know you can just be yourself but guess what she said a million times during the film i said i said this i got interviewed before after the film i mean during the film she said i want to showcase what it's like to be free so i was right on the money damn damn damn you

were you were it's as if you wrote this you're like as a writer let me talk about the story and this is what it's conveying and so kudos to them and kudos to you for interpreting it without even knowing you were without even knowing i saw i was there for the concert so i was like i don't know god bless me literally the only thing i call my own right and then she also talked about being like you can be like your childish shelf self and i was like my my motto for 2023 so she said a few things where uh uh avi like one time like at one point she was like i don't like repeating myself and the day before i had told avia the same thing yeah i mean she's my cousin yeah she no she is everybody find that episode and it's a this is a full fact and so uh it was just funny

but it was like great to see uh because we me and ava turned to things be like that was our concert like we knew what the specific points were um it was a party too like people were vibing and dancing standing yeah at some points but like that theater is so big so even somebody standing completely in front of you you can completely see the screen through the grove yeah yep yep was there a step and repeat there was there was not a step and repeat but there was a full screened wall that had the uh movie like the poster of it yes when you left the theater it was like when you you remember back when you used to leave the club and people were just like vibing outside it was it was a whole mood was there dodger dogs outside because that's really

the club experience they needed it because because the movie started at seven oh yeah no and three hours yes three hours later the mall is closed so there was no food available and people were hungry and now is the time for a street dog yes yes it is that's when we have our movie premiere we're gonna do that afterwards where you get out and it's like a club there's music outside and then people are smoking cigarettes indoors and then we are like here's would you like a street dog right and now run across the street to catch your uber um but it was great and then the drama ensued so we get in line to do uh we drove separately and do our validation parking validations i get mine validated avia gets hers validated we go outside to pay avia pays five

dollars i go up and it says mine is twenty dollars and we were like the validation didn't work we trudge back across the pavilion go and validate it says it's been validated so we go back when i get to pay it says this ticket has been blocked and i'm like what the hell does this mean it's kind of nightmare at the museum you trap you there actually first we go to one it was like you have to pay when you go outside because this booth is not taking payments anymore then we go and it says this has been blocked i was like what the hell i'll pay when i get to the thing so um i go and pull out and i go to the pain thing and um it's not working it's still saying that it has been blocked there's cars piling up behind me so i pressed the call well and when i was pulling up

I was like, if I saw a man to the right of me that worked there and I was like, if when I go out, then, you know, there's an issue. I can just tell this man I look to my right. He is now gone. I press the call button. No one answers. Press it again. No one answers. Then I turn on my flashers to let people know there is there are problems happening.

They need to go to a different lane. Call again. And they answer. And he goes. and I tell him what happened. And he said, okay, just a minute. I wait five minutes. I know it's five minutes. Cause I'm looking at the clock in my car. Your poor anxiety. That is like literally the most stressful. Does not say anything. So I call back and they're just like, and I tell him what happened. I told him that I was just left on call, no answer. And then they just let the

thing up. I didn't have to pay at all. Thank God. But you know, gross 15 minutes from my house, i get home and i see that i have six missed calls from avia and uh look and also see that she's texting me uh i can't find my keys avia avia's me in this situation that's a big me energy so i call her and i'm like do you have your keys she said yes but i have a story for you so she went back she remembers when she was in a theater that she had jiggled her purse to see if her keys were there they were but they fell out she goes to the person that was working at the theater and says hello i need to go get my keys and they say you have to wait till the movie ends the movie does

not in for three hours we were just another showing there was another showing it does not end for three hours and so and then also i bought the ticket so she didn't have proof that she had been there so i had so she finally like pleaded that she can go in there she goes in they finally let her in she goes she doesn't remember where we were sitting sitting though because that theater is huge so she just kind of vibes where she thinks we are she asked the people that were sitting there she was like it was a bunch of gay black men she's like i know they're there for the girl so they're gonna help me help you out yeah they looked they didn't see them so she's leaving and then they find her and then they find them and then chase after her meanwhile she's been

calling me all during this time because she's like her uh partner can't leave because he's there with the baby yeah so she's like i guess i'll uber if i can't get i'm having my own problems at the gate but i don't even know cell reception yes when you're trying to do that yes and so um she finally gets her keys finally is able to get home she gets home about five minutes after i did so it wasn't like a we would have crossed paths we were both in turmoil in the thick of it at the same time just different parts of the grove and she lives further so it was we it was would have been like the exact same thing anyway so yeah we were both having issues wow so um and i don't know if you remember i don't i think you might have already gone but the last time when we were all

three of us were together i lost my phone yeah so the grove is cursed and i will not be returning um you know i i i don't think that you're wrong for that and i also like didn't even realize when you bought these tickets what time of year it was in the sense that it goes along with the worst season of the growth yes which is christmas holiday yes they have at least they haven't started the snow yet because that would have been a whole another thing but the snow wasn't out yet the snow bamboozled people people stop in their tracks they stop moving and then you're just you're amongst just gridlock of human bodies who are just like wow and i'm like you came to the all knowing this is about to happen i need you to be be in shock and awe and wonder amazement

you know out of the walkway just like scooch boot a little bit yes and um so in case you don't live in los angeles it does not snow here if you're not familiar with the climate here it does not snow so except for last winter it was a little flurry it wasn't like i mean it hailed yeah no it wasn't like it also didn't snow in the grow it snowed in like you know outer la yeah on the mountains so rick caruso brings in a snowmobile truck whatever snow truck and it skeets white glistening frozen droplets into the air and on the ground and people are awed and amazed right now you're just getting skeeted by the uh water fountain that's shooting straight up in the air yeah sometimes that gets a little the the bellagio knockoff yes yeah it's like a water dancing joke

well i am so happy for you that you enjoyed the movie and i do feel it is a little ironic that as you stated this movie and beyonce represents freedom and then they said ha ha ha we're gonna trap you in a parking garage yes yes i also had a megan p so i was trying to hold it as long as possible but three hours is too long and i looked down and i was like there's still an hour and a half left so i had to get up and go to the bathroom checking your watch the longest ass pee that i've ever had so much so that i took a picture and sent it to my mother because she had sent me because i bought her and her friend tickets to go oh fun and so she had sent me a picture saying hi we loved it here's us and then i said hi i'm sitting on the toilet i had one of the longest peas uh this

morning like i had i i was consciously was it 20 minutes long because they usually last 15 minutes yeah i don't know it was so early that like i can't even remember but like i just knew when i got up i was like this is not to be such a long it sits heavy it does i got up and then i was like like my body was just like closer to the ground like i was a gallon like i was like like you could hear it swishing in the body it took a while yeah well it is a satisfying when you're done with that though yeah and it's like wow the human body is amazing and then you're like this probably is not what it's supposed to do no not at all it's so when it goes on so long that when you stand up and there's just like a little pain where your bladder is that means we shouldn't be

doing this no no that's true well hey we live and we learn or we don't we don't and that i have to go now yeah you'll wait yeah and i am um so you leave for by the time this is out you'll be on the road again i will be in northwest arkansas did you decide on a costume that you are wearing for the birthday party no i found one i just haven't bought it yet okay so if we've learned any lessons from buying costumes for themed things i would suggest maybe we buy it now here's the thing though okay she's arguing with me about there's no no no no no i also have a pink suit so that i can just wear and i'm debating should i buy something or just wear my pink suit what's the weather gonna be like it's at my parents house i don't have to leave

no i know but sometimes people in the winter you included will turn your heat on so hot that you'd actually have to dress more summery than you do it like will you be hot in a suit i don't turn what are you talking about i don't turn my heat on it stays 63 degrees in this house i just don't turn it off when we're recording i don't turn it you know whatever when we're recording it just gets hot in that room because the lights are on you know when you when you you sleep with it cold and then you turn the heat on right when you wake up and then you turn it off yes and sometimes hot when i get there earlier well i run you know me sometimes it's getting very hot no it's never above 70 degrees in this house 70 degrees is hot yeah but for like

most people it's not most people are like 72 73 yes wow it's crazy because like i before this i used to run cold and so like i'm just like a whole new person now like i now that you have central air conditioning and you also post-covid no it's it's the pot thing that's the thing that's just like it's because like i used to not be a sweater and like kyle's like i'm just so glad he's like i'm not glad that you feel this way but like i'm just i'm glad that now you also consider being like a sweaty beast when we like about things because like i'm usually just a sweaty beast and i was like okay that's nice how does it feel though that you're not um bundled up in mitts and hand warmers and thick ass socks and like five other layers plus that blanket

jacket i got you i love it um let me just tell you that every single day i'm not a religious person but every single day i wake up and i turn to mots and i say we are so lucky and he goes what i go we have heat we have air and he goes i'm not sure if that's i mean he's like yeah we we got it and I was like no this is just this is amazing because he wasn't home the way that you were no and then when he was he was like this is unlivable and I was like I've been living and he's like not well um no I'm like I love it so much like it is just it's it's amazing and uh it is a great reminder because like it so quickly even like Matz's parents when they were here last time they were like damn it like the when you turn the AC on like it immediately works but

you're not like under vents like at my last place where they have them in the ceiling and so there's like these really cold fucking pockets where you can't even keep the ac on it's um all floor vents and so that works a lot better um but like very quickly it will cool down and then very quickly it will warm up depending on whatever we need and it's just so funny because i knew that the house was like not fucking insulated before this but because now it's not just temperature wise i'm just like i can hear so like i'll walk by the door the shut door and i'll just hear and i go that's the cold air outside like that's crazy but like i can't feel it now because it's so warm see and i think that that contributes to you were going from frigid climates and then coming over

here where the heat was on just in the morning that's actually probably exactly what it was and it's also like i have a really hard time um it's getting in the car like leaving my home and getting into my car like i'm sweating like i have to wear like pants that are loose so i could like lift them over my knees and like a tank top and then i rolled the windows down and i couldn't even put the ac on because it would be colder outside and in the car than i wanted then the ac could even go um and i'd be sweating my ass off so this that's it is being at like a stable temperature is much more helpful yes so now i'm about to go to my parents where it will be 80 where i have to turn the vents off in my room and then sneak at about uh one o'clock in the

morning and turn it off so do you want to wear a suit in 80 degrees i'll be fine okay i'll be fine during the daytime it's at the night time when they you gotta turn it down at night like that's like that's not they like i can't sleep if it's hot or warm i can't either it needs to be colder at night like i want it colder at night than in the day that's what you're supposed to do i think for your it is circadian that is what the uh sleep institute says i have i have some questions about institutes what is the and i say this like with love like so the sleep one that one i understand that like the importance of it and like the meaning of it because beyond like the bio hackers like hack your system like gotta get to the whatever like sleep apnea people who can't

sleep yes this is like legit doctors yeah but also like it is like a it's a very important thing to study and quantify and like learn about and have all these tests for because uh the the alternative of not getting enough sleep is it's not like oh how to have you have great sleep like amazing wonderful let's have better better better it's like if you have bad sleep you know really got to work on it because you can lead to um psychosis and like all these other things that put your body and you in distress but i have a question about mensa scholars so we've been watching modern fan we've watched christmas episodes of tv shows and so naturally mod fam has so many good ones um and you know luke we all know the mensa scholar not on the show but no not on the show and um

so he's like a genius and i asked mons and i was like who decided like who quantifies that like who decides that and like you'd say he's like oh it's an iq test and it's like administered by like this like mensa society scholars or whatever and then of course mons had to be like let's put a pause on the rest of our day while i take three iq tests before i find out if i have to pay for them to get the email results to me and i was like oh my god um what is the point of that like once you already know you're smart like what's the point of it it's like a club because you also get to go and like hang out with those people so you get to be around like-minded people that you probably like in your everyday life at your age probably aren't going to be around people that

think on the same level as you so like it helps like create community it creates community for people that think differently but like let's say like you have this brain that thinks differently than the rest of your peers it's nice to be around people that think to have a club totally but like the iq test is i could understand being like oh i'm gonna like get an iq test to like get into this or do ever testing thing to get into this mensa scholar thing but like aside from that but why does anyone else it also looks good on resumes you put my your iq on a resume you put that you're a Mensa scholar no I'm saying without the Mensa scholar part so if you take away like the community aspect of it like IQ tests and all that like no it's the Mensa part it's not just

like the IQ part it's but you can get an IQ test without being a Mensa scholar but there's no but then there's like there there's an IQ test but then like you have to take like the SAT to prove that you did blah blah because that's not an IQ test isn't going to stand alone that was my question because then I was like how do we even administer an IQ test because like wouldn't then the person who wrote the IQ test be the smartest person and then like how do you quantify it on a scale like of that like people and there's also like there's different questions and there's also like different ways that you would fit like you might have more of a creative brain or more of a science brain or a combination of the both a more of a math brain which you know there's different

sex of that too so like it's a it's a uh crowdsourced among among the quote-unquote smartest of the smart yeah well it's just to me uh it was so confusing because then i asked what's it out of and he said some number and i go that doesn't really make sense how an iq could be out of a certain number because like how do you quant how do you know what the smartest because it would be like mean girls limit does not exist like brains are one of those ever-evolving things and not like you can't know everything but it doesn't have a limit it used to i guess and it doesn't it's a scale though yeah but i think he said it used or for me it used to have a cap but now it doesn't anymore yeah now there's a scale yeah so um but mods took a test and he was like

in a mood afterwards and i was like so like what did you get or whatever he was like no it's like it's like very hot and it's fine but like you know last time i took it it was like i was like down seven points and I immediately went so what do you think did those seven points in do you do you think it was the lacrosse do you think you think it's been the golf like what what do you think it what what do you think it is do you think it's been all the love island we've been and he was just like getting so annoyed at me and I was like dude this isn't even real you took like a 15 fucking minute online quiz it's not real at all yeah I was like that is not your IQ and also your iq is literally so irrelevant what are you gonna do with it my guy yeah yeah that's you know

there's different tests you can take that's like the gifted test that you have to take in school too it's a form of that well not you not everybody had to take the gifted test in school i i just mean people as in general melissa and mox had to take the gift to test in school I remember when I was taking my gifted test and I finished this puzzle that I had to do. It was like, oh, sign me. It wasn't like a puzzle puzzle. It was like these blocks and I had to arrange them in a way that fit in. Like it was a math thing.

And I finished it. And then I sat there and my teacher didn't look up and I was like, am I not done? and she's like oh you did that rather quickly and then you walked around with your shoulders back and your head and i still think about it uh-huh still the rest of my life and i was just like bitch now my timing's off because you're supposed to write down how yeah fast you finish it and i'd been done she she gotta shave some of those off you know what i need i need like you know we've got book smart test iq test um street smart test which might just be american ninja warrior that's a different and or survivor but like i i want one of those because like

i do feel like i should be there should be a club for people who cheated on like sats act's or were able to like you know do all that without getting all of those things where they put all those things in place like i think we deserve our own scholastic club there's a uh girl who made i don't know if you saw this but she made a tiktok of this extension that like checks your answers for people that now because you know people test now online yeah because of virtual learning um and so somebody made an extension where you can like go through and check your answers and it tells you if you got it right or wrong and she was showing it i was like don't show this this is a thing where you just use word of mouth you don't put it on the internet because

then it's going to get taken down but anyway they're like half the people were complaining about like this is cheating i'm like it's not cheating because the information when you're in the real world if you don't know the answer to something it's not just like let me sit here and wait till it comes to me no you're sitting there researching doctors do that yes doctors when they leave the room they're getting there you used to be a big ass they're still our books but like they're going and searching on the internet trying to figure out what's wrong with you so like this is this is the world that we live in you don't you should have i i believe that tests should be you get the test and you get whatever resources that are available and then

do it do the test yeah yeah and i also think that if you cannot do math i think you should sign an oath that says i solemnly swear i will never go into a career field that requires me to do math and then you shouldn't have to do math you wouldn't even make it so it doesn't even that's what i mean you don't even have to sign an oath you just you won't make it so yeah so like let me out like literally let me out of this let me out of this death trap like because i used to for math it was my i was so bad that my teachers were like okay you can have open it used to be like i could have a note card and then it was like you could have a full paper and then finally like you can have the textbook you can have an open book and then it's like you can have the cat you

could have whatever you need no matter what even if i have the i have all of it it's a multiple choice this girl's not finding the fucking answer like i'm not i'm not able to do it and then finally they were like you know what we're just you're just gonna have a c so no matter what i did i would just i would pass because they were like you're not good enough you're not good at this even remotely that i don't feel like i'm being irresponsible letting you out into the world with this like you might accidentally not tip enough at a restaurant but then you'll figure it out yeah but and there's also like teachers that just don't teach for your brain because like when I was in high school I had a physics I was in physics class and I it just was not computing

like I didn't get it I was like I don't know what's wrong with me I this cannot wrap around my brain I switched teachers when I switched teachers it was it just was like it came so much easier because that teacher taught for how my brain worked and then i was like making aids but the in the other class we were able to have like we were able to have the formulas for every for physics there's formulas for everything oh yeah but in this class we weren't allowed to have the formulas and i didn't know that when we took the test so what did i do i looked at my uh person next to me and i just copied down the formulas because even with the formulas doesn't mean you're gonna get it right right and so i copied the formula so technically i cheated but guess

what i made uh uh and i remembered this because i wanted to check and see what the difference was on our grades i made 96 on that test and he made a 82 so that just shows like you need sometimes you need certain information to proceed yep yeah my i my cardiologist i'll be in his office and i'll ask him a question he goes huh let's see and then he just goes google.com and then he'll google it and then i'll be like no no and then i'll click a couple links down and then he goes okay yeah like this and i'm like wonderful thank you sir so if all the information is available to people then that's how we should be tested it's on the information available yeah and i'm still not going to pass the math test and that's fine but at least uh at least i'm not at least i have

a place to start because otherwise i'm just sitting there going yeah nowhere to go yep but also you might find there might be somebody out there that might be a better teacher that works the way your brain works you know i would use it to practice that uses it in practical application yeah i was gonna say i i i would have thought that i did when i realized that you're supposed to grow out of counting on your fingers and you'll be able to be able to count in your head i like can't count up in my head as someone who does math for fun i still count on my fingers the only reason i i stopped appearing to count on my fingers was because when i was in third grade I thought I thought it was fine because the teacher that I had the previous year said that

we could count on our fingers then my third grade teacher said was like I guess like in her mind she had made it up that we weren't supposed to be counting on our fingers and she told my parents and they were like you're counting on your fingers so what I did was instead of holding it up I put my hand down and would just press oh so then you couldn't see I was still counting I have to visual I have to visualize it but yeah no apparently there was like a thing at a certain point um where like i don't know you know they they fuck around with math a lot they started new math like they're all they like and the system's broken a lot of people are not very good at this um and so there was a point at in i don't know what time but maybe the time that that happened that they

suddenly decided that there was a cap of counting you had to stop counting on your fingers but like they didn't ease anyone into that or like let them know ahead of time of like okay so we're gonna stop doing this it was like with times tables when they were like okay can you do math And then they were like, well, here's a times table. And I go, well, I can I can go down from here and down here and find it. And then when you're there, OK, so we're done with the times table. And I go, I'm so sorry. You gave me a coat.

You gave me a poster. And then you told me suddenly now we don't get to use that anymore. Yeah. Like, no, but no, no, no. But imagine what you could have been doing if you could still use those things that they took away from you. Exactly. I could be an engineer right now because I love a little puzzle.

Yeah. And engineers have like note cards with things on them that they have posted up around or they keep a keep it in their desk or whatever i did some engineering digital stuff oh facts yeah yeah i did some engineering this weekend we were installing some bookshelves and uh naturally i bought the cheap knockoff version of the cb2 bookshelves um and mops was like well how much are the other ones we had to re-glue all of like the things together because we started assembling it and it was gonna fall apart and so we had to like do all of this stuff and he was like well how much are like the real ones and i was like oh like 460 each and he goes okay we'll make these

ones work and i was like yeah um and uh one of we have to like insert like metal pole into a metal pole and it wasn't fitting and the thing i always have to tell matz is i i'm the tortoise he is the hair he's like just come on fast quick and it'll work and i was like that's how things break and that's how things fall apart we'll go nice and slow so my ass pulled out a blow dryer and got the metal all nice and hot and then i'm i'm using like a and i'm prying it all and he's looking at like i'm crazy and then i'm like try it again nice and slow and it slides right in and he was like holy shit and i was like i'm gonna get you look at you stem men's a scholar my iq i didn't lose seven points in my iq can't lose what you didn't can't lose what i don't got baby

i need to get you know what maybe maybe while watts is like down on himself about losing seven points in his iq this is the time to really build him up to focus on doing jeopardy did he take the exact same test that he took before of course he fucking did it yes it's not the same he just here's the thing rando test that's probably isn't even an official test but i'm telling you him doing that i'm going yeah maybe you didn't deserve those seven iq points because that's fucking dumb but it's not even being measured on the same scale that's what i'm saying so i'm like the fact that you did that and then you're comparing them and i go maybe you don't deserve seven iq points there because you just took another random online test and you've suddenly

decided that you're comparing these numbers to each other and i'm like no yeah then you don't deserve that maybe drop it 10 they're not the same they're not the same but they're not even real somebody i could sit up and make a freaking iq test fucking quiz i'm like bitch this is buzzfeed so you know but hey he's a he he and it's also like a far fucking higher iq score than like most other people but i was like where has this iq score but is it do they just make people feel better no i think like his original one that he did which i don't know what he did it for but like okay i know but i'm like i was like sir this is he's like literally no impact on your life like with love like it's not your fucking bio like no and if it is you're no longer marrying him

no divorce you inseparable piece of shit i'm glad we were on the exact same page with that of course of course of course of course of course well all right we hope you enjoyed this tuesday and hearing us this tuesday seeing us this tuesday and what can we say about next tuesday we'll see you maybe next tuesday ayo all right goodbye at ikea we make things just for college life like the rose and mandel blackout curtains in gray they say you can't put a price on sleep but we did for the low low price of 49.99 Why are you in my room? Shhh! Go back to sleep.

You have a big exam tomorrow. Shop back to school at IKEA.