Don't Blame Me! - Vanderpump Anaphrodisiac

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Content Warning: Melisa's But Are They Wrong - Gun Use But Am I Wrong: Melisa: Friendship spring cleaning Meghan: Give fondue the recognition it deserves But Are You Wrong: Reality show ruining husband's libido Social Media birthday posting But Are They Wrong Melisa: Clifton Williams Meghan: Teachers Off Duty Podcast Write In: [e-mail] Weigh In: vote in the weekly poll on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ Buy Our Merch: https://store.dftba.com/collections/don-t-blame-me Join Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dontblameme Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/by.meghan.and.melisa/ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdYV7J5p/ Follow Meghan: https://www.instagram.com/meghanrienks/ https://twitter.com/meghanrienks https://www.youtube.com/c/meghanrienks Follow Melisa: https://www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa/ https://www.instagram.com/diamondmprintproductions https://twitter.com/SheIsNotMelissa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hey hi hello welcome to another episode of but am i wrong starring two people who have never once ever been wrong i like that energy thank you i'm overcompensating because i'm asleep inside holy how are you hi hello hi how are you i'm okay now i'm freezing we started today where i was like so fucking hot and sweaty and changed into a tank top and shorts and now i put on pants and a long sleeve ironically as you were saying that the sun just came out very bright yeah the sun's now coming out here again too so maybe i will have to strip on the podcast which good thing we're on patreon check us out uh maybe you'll see a titty wouldn't be the first time no they they pop out they pop in pop out

unannounced they're welcomed intruder titty intruder anyways um so this podcast uh we've got many segments on here but really what you need to know the through line of all of this is we're megan and melissa and we are never ever wrong and therefore we have a podcast which is far more credentials than most of these men with microphones have you know some of them they do have points yeah some of them and i say they're good points but they have points no yeah they have points they have voices and they have um audio tracks and they have microphones um sometimes they're they have good microphones sometimes they don't um and you know that most of them have bald heads yeah there are two guys that i think are funny that have microphones

and they're not they they seem like on the surface that they're toxic males just from their appearances and accents but they're not frankie and joey yep yeah there's a very short list of men who are on that podcast and frankie and joey are up there yes they without a doubt they're really really really funny i think they do a good job um of like their content because like they're just like nick and schmidt energy like the whole thing like it's just that's exactly what it is and that's why it works so well because frankie's like obsessed with joey like loves him so much and he's like oh my god stop like why are you so obsessed with me and they're just so funny not to give a furry promo to men but uh they they're they can have it this is just proving

not all not all men which is funny that you say that because my um one of my topics i'm talking about is a lot of well not all and i'm like pipe down simmer down all right so how do people participate megan so we do love an audience participation so we've got three different segments on this show and we will obviously say our opinions which are also facts but we solicit yours we would like to hear your thoughts if you agree with us if you disagree with us so we post all of the circumstances situations things we talk about on each segment on the instagram story for our podcast account and you can vote on who you think was wrong in each situation and you can also send us some words with it like if you disagree with what we said or you have some

other insight or anything like we love or you agree with us like we love to hear like other people's thought process when hearing like the same things that we hear or see or deal with um and yeah it's a good time head on over to the instagram uh my my apologies for not posting the one for posting one far later than i've ever posted one before um melissa and i just realized today i never posted it like i 100 thought that you but a lot of people wrote in about one specific thing so i think that's why like they already just shared their thoughts on it and i think that's why i thought you had already posted it because i thought they were responding to that but they're not they're just being ahead of the curve good job for them all right here's

our update first apologies melissa for misspelling your name thank you so this is from an episode that this person was with a group of their classmates and the classmates had said something about someone being adopted and then out finding their parents and why they weren't there so this is an update to them i ended up facetiming mallory because i wanted to make sure nothing was getting miscommunicated. For some context, her text also accused me of misremembering things that was a quote-unquote private conversation. I made her repeat in front of the group, etc., which made me angry that she was only seeing that I was attacking her and not how hurt I was, so I wanted to have the last word. Over FaceTime, I explained that by repeating something, you are at some level

co-signing it so it's kind of a cop-out to say that she doesn't take accountability for the original statement. I also explained that already referring to Allie as quote-unquote the adopted girl comes out as derogatory against part of her identity. Like Allie is a bitch but let's just call her a bitch and be done. We don't have to insult things out of her control. That's just low. I also told her her message was really upsetting and didn't give me a lot to move on from, wasn't productive, and she told me that she meant it to be attacking because that's how she communicates when she's upset and feels attacked. Since we're graduating, I ended up just wanting to be done with it. I've definitely lost a lot of trust in Mallory and honestly don't see our friendship

continuing as is, but I hope she's learned something and can grow. She did say she talked to john the originator comment about it but for me it was more also about her being my friend and her behavior and treatment toward me also when i went individually to the others and they were immediately apologetic embarrassed and gave me full heart-to-heart apologies so this might just be a her problem so wow they all still seem like they suck

awful like yeah no I meant it to be mean like I was trying yeah fuck them yeah since you're graduating you know you don't have to see these people again anyways

alright well should we get into our first segment but am I wrong and what segment is this melissa that is when you and i megan picked something from our own personal lives that could be something that we might have been wrong about a hot take a rant anything that's really grinding our gears right now i'll go first since it's still technically spring my hot take slash rant slash but it's like all the the segments of of but am i wrong all the different things it could be. This is all of it. It's time to do some spring cleaning

for friendships. Love this. I have a friend that I used to enjoy her company. And I've recently realized that every time we're together, she spends 95% of the conversation complaining about things that she sees as injustices in her life, her other terrible friendships and how her work is never fair even though she's self-employed and at this point i'm like she has to take some responsibility because there's no way that like the whole world is just against her and there's no reason that she should just be this miserable because she just she always seems like the victim in everything and i'm like i i just don't understand and we were recently somewhere and she snapped at a fellow patron that was there

because it really doesn't even matter. She just snapped at this person and was really rude to them. And then afterwards, she sought out some people at this venue to talk to the manager and was trying to get free stuff out of this, even though it was in no way the venue's fault.

It was just this person couldn't find something And she was mad about it. And they were, in her view, getting in her way. And so the venue was like, I mean, I guess I can give you like some free candy or something. And she wasn't satisfied. And she's like, but like, what are you going to do about it? And this is a place that I frequent a lot. i told them i was like i'm sorry i i apologize like i apologize for rudeness and stuff and i was just like and then i told her i was like you don't need to snap at them and then i was like maybe this is actually how she is in her everyday life and this is why because it was like one thing and then another thing and i was like maybe this is why she feels like the world is against her because she's actually just like a rude person and like i said like she spent our whole time together like going into the place talking about this job that she took where she where she knew

that she wasn't getting paid the fair amount and she's like yeah but it's going to be good exposure but then was complaining about the whole thing and this is how a lot of our conversations go is like she just feels like she in her career that she is just not being taken seriously And so like, this woman is older than me, has been in her career for 20 plus years. And I'm just like, it can't just always be someone else. And then also, it can't always be that like, that your friends are just always so mean to you. And it can't always be that like, the world is against you. There has to be something else. And I've, I've asked her, I was like, why are you still friends with these people? Blah, blah. She always makes excuses. And I'm just like, at this point, I'm just tired.

Like I was going to this place thinking that I was about to have, I had a terrible week last week, like, and I thought I was just going, this was going to be something where I could decompress for a second. And it was just like one thing after another, after another. And I was just like, I am mentally exhausted. it she and I realized she never asked me how I was about to ask you that yeah I really she never asked me how I was doing because you know I would have mentioned that my aunt had passed away like I was not in a good like I really was like this is gonna be great this is gonna be fun she also had

invited herself to come along with me to this thing like I hadn't invited her and then she like you know she didn't even like say you know like what are you doing this weekend if she had said that I've been like well I'm going out of town like she never asked anything about what was happening in my life and I was like why am I still friends with this person because this is how all of our conversations are like I don't think that she knows that much like it's a one-sided friendship I'm a friend to her and she's not a friend to me at all and so I'm going to have to like sit down and talk to her and be like this friendship is over because she's not the kind of person that can just ghost because she's gonna keep sending messages and texts and calling like

so yeah so i'm just saying if you feel like you're in a one-sided friendship it's time to get rid of them and that's what i will be doing yeah and i've known this person for years at least like five years at least five years that friend i i was talking to you about like a friend circumstance situation that i had had a couple weeks ago that was like this and everything you're saying to yourself now was like what you were saying to me you're like they didn't even ask you about like all of this thing like that's a very one-sided stuff and like it's hard to like recognize it and then sometimes like yeah going out in public and seeing how they treat other people it's like oh this is a character flaw like this isn't when you're only hearing

things through other like their lens and stuff like you don't see how they behave in the world then it goes like oh i don't want to be associated with this that's unfortunate and i hope that the ending of it goes well yeah i mean i don't know how else it's gonna go well for me either way no i know because i and yeah because when i'm done you'll just disengage i'm done goodbye yeah but yeah no spring cleaning is cycle i need some i should do some psychological spring cleaning too it's a good call yeah i do need to do the physical but i also don't want to i know i wholeheartedly understand i feel the same fucking way i'm like i really need to do this but like that doesn't sound fun and unless something's fun like i'm not gonna do it you know what's really fun using a

little bissel that's fun so maybe i just need different toys for different things and it'll make it more exciting yeah okay well anyway your turn my what am i wrong is i hope to god not a fucking hot take you know what i really hope it is melissa i hope it's a revolution i hope i'm about to change the trajectory of personal dining moving forward okay well this has me intrigued because i have a lot of thoughts when it comes to personal dining but go on i think it's time that we give the respect the accolades the time and attention that fondue deserves okay i agree i so the melting pot was like one of those things that like one of those restaurants that was a birthday place that you would go and where and where i grew up it would be like are you gonna

have a a hotel birthday party where like you get a suite and like everyone stays there and then you are you into the melting pot for dinner with like friends and then like go do something else or you're gonna do both like it was a place first of all it's dinner and a show and you are the show like it's benihana but you're in the driver's seat you're behind the counter like it gives you something to do it's so fun how fun on a date like that's something to like do with your hands i love an activity i think it's a i think it's criminal that they stopped that or that they only give children things to color when you're waiting for your food like i think everyone should be given crayons and things to color with i would prefer colored pencils but like i'll take

a goddamn fucking crayon but like fondue what happened what happened to fondue where did the trend go away and i think what the real renaissance needs to be because at a restaurant it's fun but you can't have a really great turnover because you have to spend the time for your food to cook so like it's you're there for a while and it takes a while like to to get full because you're cooking and you're eating like it's a long process so i think we need to bring fondue machines into the home similar to air fryers, I think I should be able to post up on my sofa with a TV show and I should be able to have a little stand and a little fondue there right next to me. But like that should be it should be the norm. Like it should be something that we implement

back into our lives. Like I think the idea of like an after school snack, I can't have like can't have cheese, but like people who can imagine an after school snack, you just You're turning on your, you have fondue. Cheese fondue is an absolutely cool snack. Dessert, fantastic. Dinner, wonderful, amazing. The real crux of this to me is why I'm so desperate for this to become a personal dining product

is because right now, the only place where I'm seeing fondue machines get the love and respect they deserve is a place that I think they have no business being at. And that is weddings and large events with multiple people dipping their things into a collective vat of liquid. No, no, no, no. Charcuterie boards were nasty enough. You have your grummy little fingers

on lukewarm room temperature, sliced cured meats. I was not okay with that, but I tolerated it. And now you're going to dip, dip a piece of bread into a communal vat of cheese. And you know what you're going to do? You're going to stick that whole thing in your mouth. You're going to get your little tongue germs and your mouth germs on your skewer and then you're gonna fork another piece of bread and dip right back in there criminal criminal and i'm afraid that people who are on our side anti-communal charcuterie boards are going to become anti-fondue when in reality fondue is just not in the environment where she needs to be where to thrive she has been miscast we need to bring her back into the home so as someone who grew up going to a lot of

charity events and the banquets and things i do with the norm at these events until one day a little kid stuck their hand in the chocolate fondue and i went and told him good then after that after every after every event after that they did then started having a staff member man the station where they would tell them like you know here's your scoot skewer you know you only use it for one thing and then you throw it away and you get a new so there are ways to do this in in the uh in the mainstream of weddings and things if if you have someone that is monitoring it so it can be done it's the same person who is going to save the vegas buffet you're right it's that role good call good call uh because as a child i definitely would have

i mean it's a whole thing of chocolate of course like as an adult like that's also why i want a personal one i want to be able to do that when you can do it all do it all you want to i also do like like hot pot and shabu shabu which there was a place in downtown downtown that i would go this is before i met you every birthday i was at this place thank you for clarifying that you're like i wasn't depriving you of this we didn't know each other yet and actually i would go anytime somebody would come to town i was going there and then they got rid of the parking lot and started building something there something else there and so then the patron because there was no parking downtown there was literally no parking around it so the patronage of it

dropped i even forced some people i was working with to take me there on a birthday even though i was going there later that day now double dipping twice in one day but they would have you know you would get the meats and do the do your meat and stuff but then they'd also have cheeses and then also desserts so you get a whole tray of like cakes and cookies with chocolate and it would be like matcha and i don't like that and white chocolate don't like that either but regular chocolate and then you tell and stuff and so it's like the same thoughts behind it great i love it there used to be an infomercial that had like yes fondue at home that fucking machine i either had one or so hard to clean no that so that's the thing that like i just think

we need to revolutionize this because i need it to look luxe i need people to want to put it on wedding registries like i don't want this to be plastic i don't want it to be bright red like i want this to look classy as hell like this needs to be a gorgeous item i need le creuset to make one i i need cuisinart i need i need kitchenaid like i need this does make one when i typed in that's the first thing no the proof of concept is there first of all people loved fondue when it was in its heyday but also between hot pot and korean barbecue places where you're doing your own meats and like marinades and you're putting things on there like people love an activity right give me the reins like let me do this and also i'm pretty sure you

waive all the liability because you're like if you eat something undercooked that's your goddamn their fucking fault yeah see i'm looking at the pictures and most oh no this one is nice this is a hundred dollar one from uh this looks like food 52 this one looks cute yeah that's kind did you see the one that i sent you i texted you oh no i'm on to not disturb we need to find a way to make the the fountain it's the fountain the fountain looks looking luxurious you know like call it the whoever designed the bellagio fountain can they design a new fondue fountain because i just think that she she's she's ready for her resurgence like we're rebooting every tv show all the trends are coming back in when is it fondue's turn this is a question okay we're gonna take a break

we're back for a break and we're getting into our next segment which is but are you wrong where you listeners write in and submit the predicaments in your life the situations where like unsure am i the hero am I the villain was I wrong would I be wrong am I currently wrong and we tell you so you can submit it to but am I wrong pod at gmail.com you should keep it under 300 words we do ask that you it's obviously anonymous so if you're going to be talking about other people give some pseudonyms some things that help the story be told and include your ages for people involved all right so here's mine it's pretty funny but sad but funny uh what the fuck is that kind of intro i usually don't even intro it but i just no i know i was like i'm like looking for

where that says that and i was like what is going on this is me this is you're off the cuff it says hi and i say that because they put two h's for that hi megan and melissa last night was the finale for Vanderpump which I have recently started watching following the scandalous drama I watched and my husband who is not a fan of the show sat in the room with me later when I tried to initiate sex context my husband was leaving for a work trip the next day so this was the last night we had to connect for a while this was met with my husband saying I don't really think I'm in the mood after what I just had to listen to he then went on a long rant about how morally corrupt the show was and how terrible it made him feel to even be around

it. I felt shocked and belittled as well as upset at the implication of what that meant for me. If it was so terrible he couldn't stomach the thought of having the thought of sex after, what does that make me for being a fan? Am I wrong for feeling this was unfair to me? I respect his feelings on the matter and i understand that this kind of content isn't for everyone but the context of when he decided to bring this up to me was really hurtful and made me feel undesirable i'm not upset about us not having sex last night but about him waiting until a vulnerable moment to unload all of this on me instead of stepping out of the room while it was on or asking that i watch this after he leaves on his trip thanks for all that you do love the pot sincerely i should have

just watched ted lasso that's and they say men aren't emotional oh what well i mean i i as y'all know i used to be like heavy into all the housewives i watched every well most of all the franchises but then i was watching so much that it started making me feel sick and angry because i wanted to fight with people all the time and so i can personally i can understand how it could like get somebody not to be in the mood to have sex with you maybe he um wasn't when y'all were sitting down watching it maybe he wasn't thinking about like how he would feel sexually later or if you were even even going to initiate sex like that might not have been on his mind and so that's why he didn't there wasn't like another time for him to bring it up because he wasn't thinking about

the future and so i i mean like you feeling undesired like you just like he's entitled to his feelings so are you so i don't think you're wrong for feeling like undesirable but and and hurt but i can understand where he's coming from without a doubt i am i'm him and in this like not in this situation like i'm fully writer i'm 100 on your side but that is because i understand your partner and so like i think he could have gone about this in a very different way so i have only gotten into the scandal ball like through fucking tiktoks and shit and i watched the reunion and moss was asking me like oh do you want to start the show from the beginning and i was like no like the i don't think any of them are like good people like i really don't

I have no desire to watch it. Like, we tried to watch one season, like, the beginning of Salt Lake City Housewives, and we got through, like, an episode, like, maybe all the way through, and we were just like, I just don't get, I do not enjoy watching some, where I can't root for anyone.

Like, the only real, like, Bravo reality show that I have gotten into from, like, conceptually, like, I'm sure there are ones I could get into if i started them and like watch them and like there are like you know redeemable characters and it's not just like people fighting and like being terrible to each other but was below deck because and like mons and i were surprised like and we realized like oh it's because the people the charter people like who are coming on like the guests they usually fucking suck and so the other people they might be bad to each other shitty to each other but there's always going to

be there's enough people there that the goal is not to create drama the goal is them doing their job and like watching them do that so i fully understand like his point of view like i wouldn't watch i don't like watching things that are in in the same vein of like morally bankrupt but i also don't like watching tv shows with hard drug use i also don't like watching war movies i don't like watching things that are like abusive level of violence like excessive nudity and not necessary thing like those are all things i like do not enjoy watching even things that are too loud and like the the audio is done in a way that's supposed to be shocking or horror movies i don't enjoy watching i don't even like watching things that look cold so like i don't even like perfect

examples i don't like watching things that are underwater because it makes it me feel like i am too aware of my breathing like there are so many things i don't like watching but it's my responsibility that if it is if it is something that i know that i take with me that i carry with me or i have that much of a visceral reaction to it if it's not something i can just turn on my phone and like you know zone out do my own thing then it is my responsibility to like let the person know that like i'm gonna remove myself from the situation i'm not gonna tell you to turn it off but like i'm like i don't want to watch this this is like really like this makes me anxious this is like uncomfortable especially things that have like a fast-paced soundtrack at this point

like my heart like rate will just spike and it's really it takes a long fucking time for it to go down and it's really uncomfortable and so matz will be like oh no no like we can just like switch it so for me i think if you're jumping to writer like jumping to the the whole like morally bankrupting thing i'm assuming a lot of the stuff he said was like how can anyone fucking watch like in a way that it felt targeted but i do think that he's not wrong for feeling that way he is wrong for not removing himself from the situation or bringing it up to like talk through with you at a later date because i think that there is a lot more nuance in things that are seen as like frivolous and catty or like specifically targeted like to women like a lot of the stuff that like

blows up or gets popular like it's just drama and stuff but like i mean i've talked mad shit on vanderpump rules and i've seen a lot of tiktoks of people who are like breaking down like the nuance of like young women who grew up watching the show and like siding with one of the guys and thinking that the woman really sucked and going back and watching it and realizing that like you were hating her because you're watching a woman like set boundaries and as an adult you're able to like kind of look at it and it was like all of these like nuanced things there and so I'm sure if he engaged you in a conversation with it you would have not co-signed awful behavior but also would have been able to share with him like the things that you enjoy about it even if

it's something as insignificant quote-unquote as being able to unplug from your life and things that are so unrelatable to you but I just think shitting on something that someone else enjoys it's just like not like a kind thing to do and we do it unintentionally and so like to intentionally do it to me I think he's in the wrong there but I don't think he's in the wrong for how he was feeling but maybe you maybe you're right that he just didn't realize it until that moment I don't think he could predict that it would make him not want to have sex so I don't think that that if you're asking him to have predicted that like now he knows i don't think there's any way you could have predicted it but if it's really not sitting well with him like that's his responsibility to

remove himself it also might have been like he was sitting like this like the writer said that like this is their last night together before he was going out of town and maybe he was like you know i'm gonna sit here and watch this because she wants to watch this and this is what we're gonna do before i go out of town and then he didn't realize how much it would actually weigh on him i don't think he went about it in the right way but also like again he couldn't predict how he would feel in that moment yeah i guess like i just i mean for me i can only go for like my own experience but i'm like i would have to be watching it watching it watching it to like take it all in to be affected by it or i would be on my phone and then i wouldn't be able to like hear it or

you know what I mean like I would have been if I'm like staying there but I'm like doing something else then I would have been into that thing or I would have been watching it and I think like depending on how long he was watching it too but I also think a lot of people are right like they don't want to they think doing something for someone else is the good is the nice thing to do but if it's not gonna if it's gonna put you in a bad mood or like you're not going to enjoy it like I would then just rather not do it as a shared experience you know I also think that it could also be projecting but I don't think that either of you are wrong in the feelings but I think that he could have handled it a lot better but now you know now you know that

Vanderpump Rules isn't going to get any pump for you you've got to you know watch something a little less morally corrupt and the funny thing about that is that they on Real Housewives of Beverly hills and one of the women called this other woman the morally corrupt favorites so it's just funny that he used that language when that is like a a term that is a part of of beverly hills specifically which is vanderpump rules is a spin-off from that yeah i mean i don't think a lot of them aren't good people but i also think that they're not when you're when someone makes a tv show about like it's the most accurate i've seen of like an la tv show of a reality show people like that i'm like you made if you made a fucking tv show of me and my friends in la when we are

like 20 years old trying to none of us would look like good people like it's it's just it's the you're victim of circumstance and like it's just a televised yep and then if the tv the cameras are constantly in your face you don't have that experience of growing up outside of it like you're going through your 20s and 30s and now or some of them are 30s and 40s like they're in their early 40s and it's just like you don't know what it's like to be an adult without this yeah and apparently the ones who've gotten kicked off the shows like they're the ones who now when they talk about things like oh it's so clear they've gone to therapy and like they've removed themselves from that situation and they're like oh it's a bubble and like i wasn't able to grow without it

because you're rewarded for being awful uh-huh it's odd all right well your turn all right ladies i need to know if i'm wrong to be annoyed here my boyfriend he him 31 and i she her 27 have been together for five months but officially boyfriend girlfriend for one month he posts me on his instagram story on occasion but he didn't post anything on my birthday he posted something for his friend and he posted something for his cousin's birthday whose was a day after mine am i wrong for being annoyed by this i know it's petty and silly but it means a lot to me like i always do it for close friends and former significant others let me know your thoughts or if it's worth bringing up to him thank you okay so you meant you did it for when you were

in relationships like if you're posting on like happy birthday to my ex wonderful love it i mean i don't think you're like wrong to be annoyed but i i think it's like circumstance so like my friends who don't like live near me if i don't see them on my birthday like those are people who are more likely going to post something about my birthday but like the friends who i'm spending my birthday with like they're rarely posting something about my birthday because we're actually spending quality time together it's i think of it kind of in the same way as like sending someone a card like thinking of you it's like i don't have to send you a thinking of you card because i'm not thinking of you i'm spending time with you and for significant others like i do appreciate when

like someone will like yeah not someone i don't have multiple significant others but like i appreciate when he does that and i think it's like sweet and i i i like it but i also i would have like a do a double take if a like a long distance friend didn't post anything way before I would do it with then my partner if I was with my partner but if I was not with him and we weren't spending time together then yeah at that point it is social media's currency and sometimes it's like social currency but also it can be relationship currency where you're not spending time together with someone and it's a gesture to show that you're thinking about someone so I think even if you spent time together I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed by it but I would figure out

what why you why before you like bring it up to him yeah does he post you in everyday things yeah so like if he didn't then that that would be the issue with me but i'll say like personally i literally got off facebook because i hate it when people were like why didn't you post me for blah blah and i'm like it's not like i literally saw you in person like this is not real but if this is something that is important to you and he knows that then i do think that that is a little you know hurtful the the complaints that i was getting were coming from people that it's not the same situation but if he's doing it for other people is he doing it for other people yeah yeah it's hurtful so like if he's doing it for other people then yeah it's hurtful then

i don't think you're wrong but if he doesn't do it for anyone else then i mean he did it for his cousin two days after yeah that's the thing that's the thing it's like if he didn't do it for anybody else then it's like okay but since he does do it for other people then yes this you're not wrong for being upset about this yeah i think he might view it as like oh i didn't see them long distance So like, that's who I do it for. But it's one of those things that like, even if it's something that you're like, oh, that's not my instinct or like, that's like, I don't need that from someone else. There are certain things that are like so fucking easy to do that please your partner or like is a way that you can show your partner that you care about them. And they tell you that this is something that they value. And it's easier to just do it because it's the easiest way where something that you don't even think about. It's not a lot of fucking effort. And it's someone telling you like, oh, this makes me feel really loved and appreciated. i think it's really fucked up to be like i'm not gonna do that when it's something that is has no fucking skin off it's so fucking easy for you and you're like really that like to me that's like a throwaway it's nothing and it goes well fantastic for you that you now have this thing

that you think of so inconsequential so easy so simple so basic that you can do that you know makes your partner like happy and like feel good about them but refusing to do that like on the principle because you don't think it is valuable i i think that's a red flag yeah yeah i would be annoyed too and i've not in relationships like romantic relationships but i've been this person before in other relationships where it's like okay yeah all right well now we're gonna take a break and we're back from our break and now it's time for but are they wrong and that's when we pick somebody in the world in the news in the headlines that was wrong and we share it with the class oh tomato tomato tomato all right so mine this week is clifton williams a 64 year old man

from louisville kentucky he accused his roommate of eating their last hot pocket clifton attacked his roommate and started throwing tiles at him and then the roommate ran outside and clifton got his gun and shot the roommate in the butt and so he was arrested on assault charges williams is prohibited from contacting his roommate but uh has non-life-threatening injuries and his bond is set at seven thousand five hundred dollars i have i have so many questions how long have they been roommates do they know is there is this their only relationship is of roommates was this out of the blue like this is such a was this a mental health emergency or was this what was the lead up to this a hangry event is this a you ate my hot pocket like

i'm so because i'm like so yeah i have questions too there's not a lot of write-up on this because the victim roommate has not come forward to with any identifying information so we're only hearing the police report at this time this is fresh news from yesterday so hot off the press yeah you know we talk about things of people having guns and you know passing background checks and all of that for like people who are like school shooters and mass shooting but also the the constant threat of any interpersonal conflict that you could have that it could be escalated to violence with a deadly weapon yep then you get shot in the butt over a hot pocket hot pocket dude hot pocket is having like some fast like immediate recon meetings being like

how do we switch up our seo they're calling tree pain taylor swift publicist and being like how do we how do we do this and the hot pocket was just coming just came under some scrutiny because uh they've gotten rid of their little little condom you put it in before you put in there's a it's like that that little yeah they reformulated the whatever the the crust so then now they're crispier and then less waste and people were so the pocket doesn't need a pocket yeah wow that's a that's a big loss for the hp community so damn they really are on high they're like we need to catch a win stat who do you think do you think that they'll have to get a spokesperson who's like the most oh yeah i love that but i was gonna say if they've got a gen z

they're getting ronald from jury to do a hot pocket endorsement he's not gen z i'm saying like if a gen z person is on the team they'll they'll get someone who's like new and like someone who's very topical but i would personally love you know as jack's number one fan i would not be i would love solo shack but i think shack would do a wonderful job with ronald i think as a duo together promoting hot pockets they could do the everyman and then the there is nobody else like me man earlier today as i was trying to find a news story i came upon a lot of videos that's why shack was top of mind a lot of videos little kids going up to hug shack like just in awe of him and they're like I love you and it'd be like security's like no and Shaq's like no come over

I love Shaq Shaq supremacy you know how much I love him and I think everybody I I put him in I put everyone else in competition with Shaq I'm like just give up already and you're like they're not trying to be Shaq anyways that's wild thank you for sharing with the class I also hope the person who stole the Hot Pocket and was a victim of this crime receives a lifetime supply of future Hot Pockets. Yeah. They make

this person limp in with their bullet booty and they're like, they're with Shaq. It's them with Shaq. That's who it needs to be. Oh, yeah. Fuck Ronald. You know, you're right. And I know they're not listening to this,

and I'm sure their doctor will suggest, but for any um but depending on the location any butt ailments donut pillows oh yeah are a wonderful invention the bbl community no listen when i started seeing those i was like oh my god representation for my fellow broken tailbone girls no it was bbls and i was like solidarity and however i can take it you're fucking strolling up to the nail salon with your donut pillow and me in sixth grade carrying it around to every single class i feel seen in this even though one of these things was a choice and the other was not i'm trying to imagine you with a bbl

uh it's hilarious to be honest so my nomination for the rachel of the week is the teachers off duty podcast. So I saw a clip on TikTok and I stitched said clip and I wholeheartedly stand by what I said. It's about Meghan Trainor. The clip is not about Meghan Trainor, but I made it about Meghan Trainor. So this podcast, I guess from my research of this is kind of like a rotating cast of different teachers teacher influencers people who are social media presence and so it's not like a a constant not like you and me on our podcast it's like they have people kind of like a panel coming in and out on every episode to me that is uh that's not a like saving grace for like oh that makes this like better at all because it makes it worse to me because I go so you have

your pick of all of these fucking teachers and these are this you work with these ones regularly and you have this not committed to this like no one is you can use anyone you want to use like these people didn't start it you don't fucking need them um but these teachers are kind of using it in the like well we didn't edit the clip like we don't so it went viral on tiktok i'm not gonna i stitched one from oh well i was gonna give credit to the person i stitched because i wouldn't have stitched it without there's no stitch for me to stitch without their original video but they took it down so i guess i will shamelessly promote my tiktok but they are discussing kids with ieps so one of the women on it says talking about children who quote unquote

barely qualify for ieps and she's airing her frustrations and iep stands for uh individualized education program it's a rigorous thing that involves like an entire like committee and references and people that a lot of people it's really hard to get an IEP so there is no barely qualifying like you either qualify for an IEP or you don't and there are people who don't qualify for an IEP who should qualify for an IEP like this isn't a oh you're just skating by like oh you're just struggling enough that meeting these accommodations and it's like by law you have to meet these accommodations and again still a lot of the time they are not upheld and a lot of the time schools do not have the resources for them teachers do not have the time and education to do

that but the difference is being a student with a disability is not a choice being a teacher is a choice. I think teachers deserve to be paid exponentially more. I think they are in nearly impossible working situations and conditions. And I think that better working conditions would make teachers be better teachers. It would also foster people to stay within the career. They would be happier. They deserve to be far better compensated. But ultimately, at the end of the day teaching can be a calling but it is still a choice so to view they like i just have to vent about these things and unload as like as a teacher fine to do to a therapist but to do so publicly you're complaining about something that you might not be able to control your school environment but

you can control if you are going to be a teacher or not like that is it's an opt-in but you don't opt into disability so the guy then goes on to say that he the best thing he loves when they have like a parent teacher conference and he can call the parents in and talk about their students and say that they're d-u-m-b but they can't even spell it so they can't the kid can't know and then he laughs oh my gosh and they all laugh and it's like what the fuck like it literally was like a double take moment for me where i was like you're fucking you're fucking kidding me because i have oh yeah so he said talk crap about the kids there you know because you could be like this kid is dumb i'd be worried about him knowing what i'm saying but he can't spell

so these teachers then first the account issued an apology so their first apology they did on their tiktok which take in mind the clip was posted from their official account this wasn't someone who went and pulled this section from it on a different platform like they legitimately used this to promote the episode and use it promote the episode and upload it and these same teachers on this podcast i don't know if it was the exact same ones on this podcast but this podcast and these teachers also when megan trainer said fuck teachers in the context of trisha paytas talking about how she was severely bullied by teachers and megan trainer's husband was as well she spoke far too generally she should have edited it whatever she said that

um but the teachers were coming for her being like you should have edited that out like the They posted a written statement, multiple slides on their TikTok. Dear valued listeners, viewers, and followers, we recently posted a clip from an episode about a parent-teacher conferences on Teachers Off-Duty podcast that included conversations in which we regret that our words and thoughts were not chosen carefully. You do choose your thoughts, Tim. We know this conversation has caused pain, and we apologize and take responsibility for everyone that it hurt, whether it be a student, parent, or fellow teacher.

As teachers, we always want to advocate for our kids, and educators always try to keep them out of harm's way. Unfortunately, during recording session, we fell short of that understatement of the fucking year. Additionally, looking back, a joke was made that upon listening to your concerns and reflecting, we see was wrong and in poor taste. Often we use comedy and humor on our podcast that we hope listeners understand is never intended to be malicious. And though intentions weren't meant to be so, the impact it left was. While there may be hundreds of other published episodes in which we show and express our support and how we advocate for our profession and our students this one failed to do so thank you to everyone who called us in like for us to

get an opportunity blah blah blah blah blah then the woman and the man who were the two speaking in this segment they did apologies quote-unquote apologies and the first apologies that they did because they both since had done second ones heavily stressed that the clips were spliced together edited together and taken out of context and the guy had the audacity to say in the actual podcast and then shows like the clips for like shows like it in it because so we are talking about ieps here and like a full like minute and a half later like we even like read an ad break or some shit like that like i'm talking about like this here and like it's not even related and i'm like no no it's like literally the same thing like it's the whole theme of the episode like

that's like legitimately what you're talking about it's the same conversation like but even if they weren't related he's still calling a student dumb it doesn't even if it's completely unrelated it doesn't matter well that's i'm like it's never unrelated because you're talking about being a teacher and interacting with a student like that's the whole point so it's like oh well no no no i wasn't calling a student with an iep dumb i was calling a different student dumb and it's like well it doesn't matter you can't do either of those things so they both have like since issued second apologies but also i think they both should clearly if you need to vent about your job and your work to the point where it is detrimental for other people specifically an oppressed group

of people in a marginalized group of people you need to get that's your sign that you need to get out of its job like you have to like it is if it's weighing on you so much that you need to do that in a public setting and you need to laugh about you need to laugh about that you have an ability to change this they do not have an ability to change you do so in that moment you have to fucking remove yourself from that situation and you also do not get to use dark humor and coping at the expense of other people the only thing you can have dark humor about is your own experiences and you do not have an experience with IEPs even as a teacher in that sense unless you are a student with a disability or you are a parent and advocate for you do not get to joke about

students with IEPs being dumb parents can't even joke about that as a student you can with an IEP you can joke about your own level of like but you can't make broad statements about what this means for other people like you do not get to do that because you have by proximity you feel like you have a grasp on this it's fucked like it's just so fucked the fact that they have all these teachers rotating coming in and out has made it hard for people to even find the specific teachers who've talked about this and like find their accounts and like who they are because they're kind of a little bit buried and the one teacher who when i was watching it i was like who is this because he started doing all of these clips or he started like stitching the things and like talking all

about it there was one guy who was there and kind of like laughed along yeah mr williams on tiktok who laughed along didn't say anything really like laughed along didn't participate in it and has made the most effort of it and has been the had the first apology had a true heartfelt apology and was like i'm mortified this is needs to be a learning experience for me and has even said now like i need to step away from the internet for a bit has like we're doing things of like i'm today i'm the student like i'm learning about this this and this like did you know this and he's like i'm constantly learning about these things and he was a bystander and to me that is like okay that is where i look at someone who had a horrifically awful horrible time in school

I was called stupid by teachers. I had all this. When Meghan Trainor thing happened, I was like, I'm so sorry. What do you mean we're taking this out of context? I feel like anybody can understand that there are really, really, really horrible and awful teachers. There's a teacher that I had who punched a student and still works at school. A teacher who threw a desk at an elementary school.

One of my elementary school classmates still works in school. like there are horrible awful awful fucking teachers and the idea that like we can't say that you can't say that like teachers go through so much i'm like i don't think you don't associate yourselves with these like with with this at all like you the idea that you can't call that out because it then negates any of like the hard struggles that teachers go through and good teachers go through like the the system does not make you ableist like i do strongly believe that the education system is not built for neurodivergent or disabled kids like it's not it's really built for people who do not need a lot of assistance like in the traditional school system but it does

not you don't go into being an educator as a advocate for students with disabilities and you don't walk away being ableist like that's a choice that you you have and there are shitty fucking people who get jobs and they make them worse fucking people and i think about it in the same way that i do like shitty medical professionals it's like this hero complex that you can't you can't say anything yeah you can't have any critique of it and you and if when you come for them it's like oh well you you try doing what i do for a day and i go but so are you telling me then that you say these things you call kids dumb you do all of this stuff because you have to because your job is so hard i'm like who's requiring you to do that that's a personal choice there are some people who

should just not fucking be teachers and there are people who have the calling to be teachers and i think there are a lot of people who would be fantastic teachers but there's not a lot of support there so then they decide to not be teachers and so then you've got a lot of fucking people who are like i'm power hungry i loved i want to be an authoritative figure like i want to call the shots i want to have control i want to tell people what to do i want to have all of that i want to feel like a fucking ruler and i'm going to do it even though the circumstance in the situation does not foster an environment where i can do a lot of good in educating people like i would i'm valuing the power and like it's just really really really fucked up and i know the

circumstances and the situations in which like we can foster better when teachers have better support in and outside of the classroom they will be better teachers but it does not make people bad teachers like it is your job to advocate for your students because also like i needed an iep without a fucking doubt but like you have to have parents advocating for you and teachers advocating for you if you do not have both or either if you don't have both like that in my case you don't have both like you're you're you've reached a wall and I don't like look down on any of my teachers for not trying to fight harder for that kind of stuff because I know that their resources aren't there but those were never the teachers who were calling me dumb like there's a huge

distinction and a huge fucking difference between all of those things and you should be fighting back against the administration for things that are not fair and that are not okay and you see injustice happening all the fucking time so like why would you contribute to that when it can be avoided like there are things that are out of your control that are not fair to the students and are not inclusive and are not okay and that will weigh on you so then why would you create those instances yourself like if i was if i was a student if i was a parent i would pull my kid out of that class write the super i would so fucking fast so so fucking fast so lily and jesse their podcast uh do we know them they talked about this her son is autistic and she talked

about one of the hardest things was that for a lot of parents your kids aren't necessarily able to explain what is going on if something were to happen at school so you have to trust your your teachers to be forthcoming about information and so when you find out a lot of parents will find out that their children are being abused mistreated at school and they find it out a long time afterwards because their kids cannot express that and convey that and let their parents know that that's what's going on a whole other level of of fucked up like you're understanding what someone is being said to you and then you can't you're unable to communicate that to the safe adults in your life that the other adult who they think is a safe adult is no longer one

so fuck those teachers they do not deserve their fucking jobs they should not work in schools or with children or if children with disabilities or without fucking disabilities with or without ieps they should not be working with students period nope nope nope okay well that is it for the episode we hope you enjoyed as always leave us a review on apple podcast or spotify you can also review for the individual episode check us out on our socials and you can always tag us on tiktok on twitter instagram if you see something you want us to talk about or slide into dm that's hey we'd love for you to talk about that everybody who's like megan are you going to talk about taylor swift maddie healy no uh he desperately wants attention and i'm not going to give him

yet another platform for that there are so many people who are talking about it wonderfully and giving lots of insight when people are trying to control a public narrative i do not enjoy participating in someone trying to you know what i mean like they're this is a goal it's a goal for people to talk about this and create discourse and there is no fucking way i will ever create create a discourse where people feel comfortable defending nazi behavior it's not gonna happen it's not gonna fucking happen but am i wrong is a production by me megan rinks and me melissa plus diamond imprint productions post-production by coco lorenz and production assistance by Melanie D. Watson.

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