Doomed to Fail - Ep 10 - Part 2: Ask what you can do to live a long life: The Kennedy Curse

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

The key is not to be a Kennedy, or at least never get on a small plane with one. Re-visit the harrowing story of the Kennedy Clan - from Papa Joe's pretty racist stint as the US Ambassador to the UK, Joe Jr's Death in WWII, John & Bobby's assassinations, ski accidents, lobotomies, and plane crashes --- this one has it all!Explore the history of the most American Family of all time with us!Thank you for listening to our re-releases as we take a little break! We'll be back with brand-new content next week!As a reminder, you can also go back and listen to our full episodes anywhere you listen to podcasts! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doomedtofailpod/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doomedtofailpod  Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/@doomedtofailpod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doomed.to.fail.pod Email: [e-mail]  Join our Founders Club on Patreon to get ad-free episodes for life! patreon.com/DoomedtoFailPodWe would love to hear from you! Please follow along! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doomedtofailpod/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doomedtofailpod  Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/@doomedtofailpod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doomed.to.fail.pod Email: [e-mail] 

My friends, here we are with episode 10 part two. One of my favorite episodes that I've ever done. This is Taylor. And my historical doomed to fail subject for this one is the Kennedy family. So I go all the way from Joseph Kennedy, who was the U.S. ambassador to the UK right before World War II. And then all the way through to what some of the current candidates are up to. And this was even before RFK Jr. was running for president as a Democrat or not. But, yeah, you know, we'll get there.

So hope you enjoy questions, concerns, thoughts, doomed to philipot at gmail.com. Please share with your friends. Please help us grow. We'd love to keep doing this. So I appreciate your support. Have a great holiday season. And we will be back early December with new episodes. Thank you.

In the matter of the people of the state of California, first is Hortthall James Simpson, case number B.A.019. And so, my fellow American. ask not what your country can do for you ask what you can do for your country today and um yeah yeah well time so farce Taylor today I know that in our thing in our um in our theme song It's JFK, and we're thinking Jackie and him. But actually, I'm going to go all the Kennedys and talk about the Kennedy curse. So there's so many bad things that happen to the Kennedys.

So I'm going to kind of go through them. It's going to be a little out of order, but it's also going to be kind of like reading the Bible, because I'm going to be like, Jack, son of blah, blah, blah, because I'm going to go person by person and just tell you the bad things. that happened to them. There were nine Kennedy children. A lot of bad things. There were nine Kennedy children. They all have tragic stories. Kennedy women aren't as cursed as the men. Take that for what you will. And outside of these tragedies, there are plenty of nonprofits and good political decisions and the things that they did, but a lot of bad things. Like not even bad things that they did,

bad things that happened to them. So a lot of things that you could definitely, you know, lean towards there being some sort of curse. There have, the Kennedys are, As you know, an American political family, there have been very few years in the past 100 years that a Kennedy has not held public office. It's almost always someone there, and an album was always federally as well. So for my research, I did a lot of just like compiling from Wikipedia, but also I read a James Patterson book on the Kennedys. So it was like a book that he wrote that's nonfiction, but about their stories. So some of the more dramatic things. I'm going to start with the parents of the Kennedy children and kind of go from there.

The dad of JFK, the patriarch, is Joseph Patrick Kennedy. As you can tell, he's very Irish and very Catholic. That's a very Irish name. Joseph Patrick Kennedy was born in 1888. He started a political family in Boston. He made his money in the stock market. He would do these things called stock pools with other investors that was a little shady and he shorted a lot of stock. before the crash in 1929. So by 1935 in the height of the Depression, in today's dollars, the Kennedy is worth $3.5 billion.

Whoa. So they were fine. They have a lot of fucking money. Uber rich. Exactly. Totally. And JFK, you know, one of the problems that he had running for president is that he had no idea of what people had been through

during the Depression. He just wasn't involved. you know um so joe definitely had connections to the mafia at one point he leaves his family and goes to hollywood to try to open a studio he invested in a lot of movies like kind of like bee movies like cowboy movies he had a long affair with the actress glorious watson and also i'll mention this kind of periodically but every single kennedy man had a ton of affairs and it's just not interesting because everyone was doing it but yeah i would have figured much what was the dad and did it a ton.

He, after Prohibition, he worked with James Roosevelt to sell liquor. So he knew like Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt's kids. He definitely had connections to the mafia. So he was doing some shady things. And all this time, you know, he's still very, very Catholic. He holds several political positions. He was president of the SEC. And then the big one he does is from 1938 to 1940.

Joseph Kennedy is the ambassador to English. which is an interesting time to be the ambassador to England because right as we're getting into World War II. And he was definitely the wrong guy to do that. He was a little bit of a like, I don't know, maybe a wet noodle about it or maybe he just was like too rich to care about it. But he was like, why do we have to write? Why don't we just see what this Hitler guy has to say? Yeah, I do remember some stuff around his, he had like a weird affinity for eugenics, what I recall. Yeah.

And so this... Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, this kind of falls in line. Yeah. That totally makes sense because all the Kennedy look the same and have like the same thing. I mean, I feel like it kind of fits into that.

But he was like, he tried to meet with Hitler twice and you never actually got the meeting. But one British MP said of him, he said, quote, we have a rich man, untrained in diplomacy, unlearned in history and politics, who was a great publicity seeker and who apparently is ambitious

to be the first Catholic president. of the United States. So, like, no one took him seriously out there. And he was also anti-Semitic, unsurprisingly. And the things he said are bad, but generally it was like, Hitler has some good ideas. What's the problem? You know, what's weird about all that is, at that time in history, Irish people were very much looked down upon in the U.S. Like, they were, like, yeah, they were a minority, right? And he's definitely from a minority. Yeah. And it's just interesting, like, he doesn't see the irony and, like, his own belief system and how people treat him directly.

Totally. Totally. Yeah. So, I mean, that's just, you know, part of his personality. He was also, like, a very strict father. He raised his children to always win, you know, they, you know, had to be the best. And he basically raised them all to be president. That was his goal. Joe does he dies of complications of a stroke in 1969 so the timeline's going to be a little weird but he dies in 1969 he married Rose Kennedy she was born Rose Fitzgerald in 1890 she actually died in 1995 when she was 104 which is somebody's women that's crazy I can't believe it was that recent time I know so she was also very very Catholic she met Joe at parties in like a rich society she devoted her life to her her children that was really that was roses thing she was you know a grandmother a great-grandmother a mother that was her number one thing that she did and um jacqueline kennedy jacky kennedy described her mother-in-law it while in a letter to a priest she said i don't think jack's mother is too bright and she would rather say a rosary than read a book so a little bit of like internal criticism about how much she relied on being catholic for things but that was rose she was the mom. So obviously, yeah. How do you think me and you would do at one of those parties?

I totally agree. I think we talked about this before. Like, I do not fit in. You would see me like a sore or freaking sound. People would ask me for a drink because they would think I worked there. They just, I just don't think I could fit fit in. It's a laugh. I don't think I can nail the laugh. I think, because I feel the laugh is so, like, yeah, it's just, I don't know. Yeah. I'm too rough. I think I'm a little bit too rough. I think I'm a little bit too for that. Yeah, I think I'm just, I got the shadow of, I don't know, not being rich my whole life. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's definitely a society that like I don't know. I don't fit in and don't know anything about. But they, you know, yeah, exactly. So now I want to talk about all nine of their

children. I'm going to do it in order and it'll be maybe confusing, but some stories that maybe you haven't heard, we'll get to. The first born son is Joseph Kennedy, Jr. He was born in 1915. He was the one who was going to be president. He was super handsome. Like, they're all handsome, whatever. He was like super handsome.

He was an older brother. He was really being groomed to be president of the U.S. by his family. He was also anti-S., and had some of his dad's ideas. There's like a story that was in the James Patterson book where Joe Jr. was working with a professor at school who was Jewish, and he was like, yeah, it's too bad that that guy has to go, but in general, it's fine. You know, like, not great. So, but he was, even, even though he was very active in World War II, he married an actress Sheila Rouch in 1940 that had no children because in 1990, in 1994, in 1944, while serving as a naval pilot during World War II, Joe went on a mission that he didn't have to go on, and it was a little bit like the plane may not have been ready, but he was like, I'm brave and I'm going to go on this. He had already done some pretty dangerous missions in World War II, and his plane exploded over England.

So he died in 1944. Obviously super sad to have like the older brother, first tragedy of many that Joe Jr. died that way. And the second son is John F. Kennedy. He was born in 1917. He was a sick child. He had back injuries after being injured in World War II. So a big part of his story is how many drugs he was on when he was president. Have you heard those stories?

I have. Yeah. It was apparently that injury was like almost debilitating. Yeah. The kid did wear a back brace. And like, so, you know, during the Cuban missile crisis, the person in charge is like, pretty fucked up. So super interesting. If people had known that maybe, like they wouldn't have, he wouldn't have gotten as far as he did, but he was in a lot of pain for a lot of his life. But he served as a commander. He would have been on like opiates, right? Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. He had like literally the doctor that called Dr. Feel Good was his doctor.

Oh, geez. So yeah. It was absolutely on a whole bunch of shit. Yeah. It was like, you know, a pill to go to sleep, a pill to wake up, a pill to do this, da-da-da, loss a shot. those kind of things he sounds like a burning man attendee um he was injured in world war two like we said he was a commander of a patrol torpedo craft and um he i think he saved a couple of people when it got um like torpedoed he is the only president to have the marine court medal and the purple heart either of those like he's really like probably one of the most decorated presidents besides like eisenhower It's actually pretty cool. He married, yeah, it's pretty cool because it seems like he did a good job over there,

especially like after his brother died, you know, he still went over there, which I think was pretty, pretty brave. I know that he, like, couldn't get in immediately because of his injuries and his, like, history of, like, being kind of sickly, but he ended up getting in however that happened and was actually pretty, pretty heroic in there. So he married Jacqueline Lee Beauvier in 1953. She was also a socialite, but she was like, like doing okay she had a job as a reporter and she um when he proposed to her and she left without answering she went to england for queen elizabeth's coronation so she had a pretty cool job

and she was sort of reluctant to marry him he already had had a lot of girlfriends and he didn't plan to stop having girlfriends you know that was kind of part of it as well but they got married anyway and jfk and jacky have this kind of like perfect looking marriage they have four kids They have, Arabella is born, still born in 1956. So that's one tragedy of them for their kids. Caroline is still alive. She's still involved in politics. She has three kids.

She's still, you know, with us. JFK Jr. Can you picture JFK Jr.? Yeah, I remember this guy. Yeah. So he was born in 1960. He was two when his dad died and he was always in the public eye. There's like a picture of him in his like little like nice coat.

his dad's funeral. So super sad, obviously. In the 90s, he was like a political playboy. He was a lawyer, but he like barely made it. He like barely scooted by law school. All these guys went to like Harvard and Stanford and all that and Yale. And, you know, but he started a political magazine called George. You heard of that? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So that's like one of my favorite facts about him actually is. So full disclosure, the first time I threw the bar exam, I failed. And past the second time but when you fail it it feels awful like you feel like everybody's moving on to greater and bigger things and you got to go back to the books and try again and knowing that he failed he failed the bar a shit load like he felt like somewhere between

three and five times like he had a really hard time getting past it it's one of those things that money is never going to get you there completely you got to kind of do it on your own and so i was uh or lead on that a little bit i was like well if someone like that can keep failing then it's all good and it's all good totally that's good um yeah so he you know became a lawyer but he was really mostly like a political playboy like i said he started a political magazine called george which sexy politics like the first the first issue had what's her face like the really famous model from the 90s like dressed like george washington no that not cynthia crawford came moss was in it too like they're all in it he was like the circles he was in he was

on Oprah. There's an episode of Seinfeld where, like, Elaine sees him at the gym, and she's, like, really excited. He's, like, the sexiest man alive. He's also, like, I don't know if this is what you picture, and you picture him, but he has, like, a very hairy chest. And I feel like, I don't see that in the cover of magazines anymore.

I haven't in a long time. Didn't picture that. Did you picture that? But I pictured him was, like, 90s sexy, like, Tom Selleck, you know, like, a hairy chest and a lot of hair. So, he was, like, the most eligible bachelor, sexiest man alive. all those things. And I think he probably struggled with it a little bit. You know, people,

he's one thing that it said in the James Patterson book that like someone was like, oh, everybody sees you and they know who you are. And he was like, everybody looks at me and they know who my dad is, but I don't know who my dad is. Like he didn't get to meet him. He didn't get to really see him. So that's sad. I can imagine that on the outside looking in, like what a charmed life, right? Like you're Uber rich, you're Kennedy, your good looking living. I think he was in New York or something, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah.

And I think on the outside it can seem like it's all rainbows and sunshine, but there's gotta be a lot of like, how do you, how do you create your own life when you're like your dad is- Pretty big shadow, especially for him. Yeah. Yeah. Like they called his mom and death, like the king, queen of Camelot at one point. Like they were- Yeah, it was like Camelot. It was like a perfect marriage of power and all these things.

And yeah. Yeah, that's going to be tough to grow up in that. Totally. So JFK Jr. marries another rich woman named Carolyn Beset. She was also like not super stoked on marrying him, but then she did. And they were like a dream couple of the 90s. And it sounds like they had like a lot of problems and they were maybe going to get a divorce.

And another thing about JFK Jr. as he always wanted to fly. Like he was obsessed with like planes. When his dad, even like up until he was two, when his dad would like go somewhere on a trip who'd come back off the toy plane and like he just loved it. And Jackie told him not to learn how to fly,

but he did anyway. And so in 1999, he and Carolina probably separated that they're going to a wedding anyway. So he says, I'm going to take you and your sister to this wedding. We're going to fly out of New York and go like up the coast. And he should not have done this.

he was not certified he was not complete with all of his training for being a pilot his ankle was broken and you need two feet to be able to do what he needed to do in that plane so you need feet to do it too but his ankle is broken and it's the same thing it's like this attitude that i can't remember what it's called but that like pilots say like a like a got to get their attitude which is kind of what happened to Kobe Bryant as well where it's like the pilot is like oh no i can do this i have to get there like i'm invincible you know and he you know what I mean so he got up in this like little plane and he probably lost sight of the horizon because it was really dark so we couldn't see the horizon and he had also like he almost hit like an American or some airline like passenger plane first and then he was kind of like flying erratically and then he disappeared off a radar and they found the plane like two days later so he also like I don't know there's a Malcolm Gladwell book where I can't remember which one it is but where he talks about this losing side of the horizon thing and he's in a plane with a pilot and the pilot's trying to explain to him what might have happened and he says like okay I'm going to the pilot says I'm going to point the plane down and put us in a spiral and you're not going to feel it and because of like the force and Malcolm Gladwell was like okay and then like a minute later he's like okay you can start and the pilot was like we're already doing it like you can tell you know so that might have been what had happened like he was like he was like he was like he was like

Like, everything's fine, but just imagine. So JFK Jr. dies in a terrible way in 1999. The fourth child of Jackie and Jack is a son named Patrick who lived for two days. He was born in 1963. So pretty tragic, you know, their kid's situation. In the other, obviously, thing that you know about is in 1963, we all know. JFK is a president. They're in Dallas, just like you.

The Dallas Morning News hates him. I wrote an article about how much I don't like him. In the car in Dallas, the governor's wife says, see, Dallas loves you, Texas loves you, you know, to him. And right after she says that he shot from the sixth floor of a building by a crazy man named Blee Harvey Oswald. Both this and another assassination we'll talk about, like, I wish it was a conspiracy, but it's just a crazy guy. You know, like a really radicalized person. The Harvey Oswald wanted to defect to Russia. They wouldn't let him in.

He wanted to be a socialist, all these things. So just kind of a crazy person. There is a theory that. Taylor, yeah, sorry, the overlap, because there's some lag in the Wi-Fi, so I don't mean to keep interrupting. It's just, there's a lag there. No worries. Go ahead. Did you ever listen to the last podcast on the left about JFK? Yes.

Do you remember what the theory was? You talk about the Secret Service? Yes. Yes. I do believe that. I love it. You tell it. Yeah.

So the idea is that, or the theory is that what actually ends up happening, was Oswald did set off the events, but the actual bullet that tore JFK's head off. The theory is came from the Secret Service agent behind the president's limousine. So Oswald fired the first shot, hit the ground, fired the second shot, hit the president in the neck and Connolly in the shoulder. And then at that point, the Secret Service unsafetyed the gun to try and do something. car lurched and the guy fell backwards and there he is that he shot him in the back of the head that way so anyways random aside i love that i think that's fun that they were like super

hungover and just were like not doing their job well also like it's weird because the way that kennedy moves when he gets shot like it's confusing to people but it's also because he's wearing a back brace so yeah you could you could be your job you could just learn about it that could be all you do but um man fucking poor jack she is holding his brains in her hand and like it brings to the doctor and is like here I have these brains you know like absolutely horrifying that evening she's on Air Force One with his body she's still covered in blood she's wearing her like her famous pink Chanel suit covered in blood while LBJ gets sworn in on Air Force One so a really fucking horrifying horrifying situation Jackie remarries pretty quickly to a Greek man named Aristotle Onassis Aristotle's daughter is like, do not marry this fucking woman. She is cursed. While they're married, Aristotle's son dies in a plane crash.

And they separate, but they never divorce because he passes away. So by 45, she's been a widow twice and then does not get married again. Jackie dies of cancer in 1994. So she lives like 30 or so years more than Jack did. Wow. Tragedy, that could be your job. Your whole life could be about those two. But let's move on.

So the third child, maybe the most worst story is as of Rosemary. Rosemary was born on September 3rd, 1918. You know, I wrote, poor fucking Rosemary Kennedy. Like, this is the worst. Her birth is an actual horror story. Her mother was giving birth. The midwife wanted to wait for the doctor, but the doctor couldn't get there because of, like, I don't know, a storm, something happened. So they had to wait two hours.

and the midwife, instead of just delivering the baby, kept her in the birth canal. So made the labor two hours longer than it needed to be. And she was like literally holding the baby's head so the baby would not come out. And like, I cannot think of a single fucking reason to do that. Take the baby out. But because of that, she was definitely deprived of oxygen. And so I think that was like something that like made her a little bit disabled from that experience. Yeah.

She wasn't, like, a terrible person. She's had trouble in academics. She couldn't really read. She had special tutors, you know? She was also super depressed because people treated her, all these things about her. When she is, like, in her 20s, her parents sent her to a convent, but she keeps leaving the convent at night because she wants to, like, have a life, you know?

Like, she's a grown woman who, you know, is just has some, like, you know, problems with reading and comprehension. It's not, like, nothing's terribly wrong with her. And because of that, her parents are worried that she could, like, get an SCD or get pregnant or something. And they're just, like, pretty embarrassed of her. They don't want her doing anything stupid. And I'm sure a fucking joke, yeah. She sounds just precocious.

Yeah. And that's it. Nothing terrible, exactly. And when she was 23, her father decided to have her lobotomized, which was experimental at best. It was never, like, a great procedure. And Farras, do you want to tell everybody what a lobotomy is? I feel like you know. Oh, yeah.

So this is when, where they take a ice pick through your eye socket. They push your eye sock, your eyeball. Out of the way, stick the ice pick up into the frontal cortex of your brain and just kind of wiggle it around a bunch and turn you... And hope for the best. Hope for the best. Basically turning you into like, a very close approximation of a zombie.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's what happened to Rosemary. After her lobotomy, she ends up with a mental capacity of a two-year-old. And her family institutionalized her, and many of them never saw her again. When Joe Sr., her dad died, they did start bringing her around again, like, oh, great. And, you know, bringing her to things and that. She was always in, like, a nice facility, but still. And she died of natural causes at 85. she lived like most of her life after this horrifying procedure happened to her it wasn't that long ago that she died right she died in 2005 yeah so there was a person living in 2005 who had their brain scrambled with an ice picked up like that sounds like yeah it's nuts it's absolutely

horrifying so poor rosemary um so she was the third the fourth uh kennedy child is kathleen kick Kennedy so they called her kick she married she was really close to joe junior her older brother she married a lutheran englishman the marquess of hartington um and it was a big deal obviously because he was lutheran and they're very catholic and they married and he died pretty soon after they were married he was shot by a german sniper during world war two which is super sad they had no children because he died so quickly after their marriage and then she Kick herself died in the plane crash on May 13th, 1948. So another just like short tragic life.

Like just stop it. Don't go in planes, 100%. Absolutely. So Kik had a short and sad life. Number five is Eunice Kennedy. So Eunice was born in 1921. She married Robert Sergeant Shriver in 1953. He was the first director of the Peace Corps.

So he did a lot of good things. They had five kids. Robert, Maria, Timothy, Mark, and Anthony. You'll remember Maria, she married Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yep. She was the first lady of California. They got divorced after it was discovered that he had a child with her maid, which I'm sure was not his only affair.

Their son, Patrick, is an actor. Her daughter, Catherine, is married to the worst Chris. She's married to Chris Pratt, who is... Why do you just like Chris Pratt? I'm not the only one who says this, but of all the Hollywood chrises, Chris Pratt is the worst Chris. And I think a lot of it's because he's, like, super religious and in like very like Jesus helped me do this which is really annoying and a lot of people just like think he's very like haughty like when you see him and katherine together she has these like this like weird smile you know like they just like seem kind of weird i found a self-help book she wrote in like the 90s about like hey my life is so hard blah blah blah and like i don't know i know i know i know i know i know he said jfk junior's life must have been hard but also fuck you so like i don't know like they don't seem great how does she get a pass on having a hard life i don't know i don't know and then

And then, like, oh, one thing about Chris Pratt, I also think, like, maybe he's a great actor because, like, Owen Grady in Jurassic Park is super sexy. But if you, like, look at Chris Pratt in real life, you're like, you. I think, that's the worst character. Like, I really hate that character. You get it, everyone. But, so that's one of Eunice, the granddaughters.

Eunice was like a mother to a lot of the Kennedy children. She was, you know, stayed, you know, with the family a lot. And one thing that she did that is fantastic that, you know, one of the many, like, things that they do that's actually, like, really good and a lot of philanthropy, she started the Special Olympics in honor of Rose, of her sister. And when I, yeah, I went to the Special Olympics opening a ceremony a few years ago in L.A. I don't know how we got tickets to it, but it was beautiful. I cried the whole freaking time and Maria Shriver spoke, and it's really great that they did that. So that's super cool. That's awesome.

for Eunice. Yeah. So the sixth child is Patricia. She was born 1924. Oh, also Eunice died in 2009. So she also lived to be very old. Patricia is the number six. She was born 1924. She died in 2006. She married actor Peter Lawford. And I don't know if you know who that is. But I know him from Easter Parade. Easter Parade is one of my favorite movies. And so like I was just like really excited that anyone got to marry Peter Lafford because I just thought I've always thought he was so hands. him. But he sounds like kind of a douche, you know. I don't even recognize his picture. Yeah. He was like a not cool. They called him the least talented member of the rat pack. Like he wasn't really in the rat pack, but he was like on the outside of it because Joe was trying to get the rat pack and like people in the mafia to get people to vote for JFK. So they had like Peter Lafford like go in and try to be cool.

And Frank Sinatra was like, yeah, I totally want to hang out of JFK. but he ended up having a Peter Lofford and he was like really disappointed, which is funny. It would be sadden up as your claim to find us. I'm the saddest rat pack member. I know. It's so funny. So they have four kids and they do get divorced eventually, but they have four kids. And like the divorced stuff I couldn't figure it all out.

Some of them get divorced. It's also weird because they're Catholic and like you can't get divorced, all these things. Patricia and Peter Lofford do get divorced. The only one of the four kids with the Wikipedia, Paige is Christopher. He was an actor and he was super involved in drugs as a teen. He got arrested for imprisoning a doctor to get drugs. And his cousin, who we'll talk about later, ODs, he sobered up and he was sober for 33 years. He did a lot of activism for drug awareness, but he died of a heart attack when he was 63. So it sounds like he turned his life around after all that bad stuff

happened. So that's Patricia and Peter's fun. Number seven is Robert S. Kennedy. He was born on November 20th, 1925. I wrote Bobby, Bobby Kennedy. He married, yeah, he married Ethel Skakel, and they had 11 children, which is too many children, just way too many children. I know one of those kids that I think you're going to talk about, because the name Skakel sounds really familiar. There's a Skakel story. It's her nephew, but we'll get there. So they had Kathleen.

Kathleen was Lieutenant Governor of Maryland from 19-5, 2003. She's still involved in politics. Her daughter, Mave, died in 2002 in, and, like, the weirdest way. So her daughter was 40 years old, and her and her son went on a canoe on a lake, and they both just disappeared. They found their bodies later. Like, something happened, and they both died, which is terrible. Wild. They have Joseph, who's blonde.

I don't know, I feel like not many of them are blonde. He's an energy businessman. He got married in 1979, and he tried to get divorced in 1993. But he was like, I'm Catholic. I can't get divorced. He tried to get an annulled by saying that when he was married, he was in a bad mental state. But like, it's been 15 years. You can't get an annulled, you know. And his wife wrote a book called, this is so sad, called Shattered Faith, a woman's struggle to stop the Catholic Church from annulling her marriage. Everybody called that. How important do you think you are?

well, we're fucking real. But, you know, that's, like, again, how Catholic everybody is. Joseph had two sons, they're twins. One of them is the ginger, and he's currently the ambassador at North Ireland. So, like a Kennedy with red hair, which is kind of adorable. So number three is RFK Jr. And so there is this woman who writes for Vanity Fair, who writes a newsletter. I actually haven't gotten it a while, so I wonder if she still works there.

But her name is Bess Levin, and she's fantastic. Like, she just has, I just like, love. reading her stuff. And she called Robert F. Kennedy Jr. an example of an apple falling as far from the tree as possible. Oh, that's kind of mean. What, why, why? Let me say. So he did a lot of activism, a lot of environmental stuff. So he worked a lot on that. He was been married a couple times. Ex-wife actually killed herself, which is pretty tragic. And I think that that happened after some of his affairs were like out in public, which is a bummer. But then he did the bad thing. he is anti-vaccination like real hard like all of them

he's one of those people that is like do your own research and do it on your own schedule and it's like oh my god i'm not a fucking doctor i'm listening to my doctors what are you talking about so he has done all this stuff about vaccines connected to autism which is not true he doesn't like the flu vaccine and then of course he hates the COVID vaccine he literally wrote a book called the real Anthony Fauci Bill Gates, Big Pharma, and the Global War on Democracy and Public Health. He's an idiot. Yeah, he's in that job.

Yeah, and I wrote, he sucks. Fuck that guy. So, fuck you, RFK Jr. I hope you're listening. Then fourth kid of their 11 is David. David has a fun story because he almost drowned while RFK was running for president, and he saved him and it was very heroic. David was the only member of the family to stay up late on the news as his dad, RFK,

accepted the nomination for the Democratic president. president. And so he's the one who saw the news about his dad being shot before everybody else did, which is terrible. He was 12. And he turned to drugs, like after that. He got into a car accident. There's so much drunk driving. Just assume that like everybody's been drunk driving this whole time. David got in a car accident. His girlfriend was paralyzed. He was injured. And in 1984, he died of a drug overdose. So he was very troubled. I think probably obviously from his dad being assassinated and him being like the first one to see it and all of that. Yeah. The next kid is Mary Courtney.

She married an Irishman. They had one daughter named Sorshap, and she'd have a drug overdose in 2019. So another drug overdose death. Then there's Michael, and Michael is a nerd who looks like a cartoon of his dad. He looks like Bobby Kennedy, if you, like, took your hands on Bobby Kennedy's head and stretched it out an inch. Like, he's really long teeth. It's like a lot. He married Frank Gifford's daughter.

Look him up. That's Michael Kennedy. Dude, he's mostly teeth by body weight. Mostly teeth, yeah. And he's in the news because he married Frank Gifford's daughter, who's like the football guy. And while he was married, he had an affair with his babysitter. His wife woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn't in bed. So she went to go find him and found him in the room of their babysitter who was only 16.

And because 16 was the age of consent or is in Massachusetts at the time or whatever, he was able to get off of being like actually in trouble for it but like he was definitely sleeping with her before then you know like he was absolutely like grooming and a predator and slept with his or raped his 14 year old nanny and he blamed it on the booze he said you know I don't drink that was this was in 1997 he blames it on alcohol and drugs and then he was like I'm going to get sober and he got sober for like maybe six months and on New Year's Eve 1997 so the same year that it came out that he was sleeping with the nanny he died in a ski accident and like this is one of the dumbest fucking ways to die so there's a dumb thing that the kennedy's do that the parks and ski

resorts have told them not to do which is playing ski football which is playing football on skis with no pads and no fucking helmet so michael kennedy this is like playing ski football of this family he catches the ball and he hits a tree and he dies like almost immediately it's like it's almost like they have no understanding of like they are like but like you should because everybody dies there's no like the universe is trying to take you out you should be more scared yeah you're always there's a target on your back anyways and then you play football on skis which like skiing on its own people die just doing that you don't have to make more complicated totally why are you even like pushing even further so

Michael Dias, 1997. The seventh kid is Mary Carey. She does a lot of activism. She seemed fine until I saw that she was married to Andrew Cuomo, which was probably not great. So there's that. She did get in trouble for drunk driving in 2012. Another son, Christopher, seems fine, lives in Chicago. There's Matthew Douglas.

I can't find anything on them. And Rory, they're just rich kids. You know, Rory is a filmmaker, you know, like Richie Ballar. Like Sophia Coppola. Sure, fine. So as you know, so those are all the kids. That's what happened to the kids. After JFK was assassinated, RFK ran for president.

And as we know, he had no secret service protection that was not a thing for people running for president yet. And he was in L.A. accepting the Democratic nomination when he was killed. It was a lone gunman. His name was Sirhan Sirhan. He was just denied parole like two years ago. Again, he'll be denied parole forever. I listened to a long time ago, an entire pocket.

about it where this guy was talking to his uncle who like devoted his life to trying to find the conspiracy behind it there's no conspiracy it was just a crazy person so is there a is there a why to i can't remember the why i'll look it up but i can't remember but like yeah it was just like when he died ethel was eight months pregnant with rory so she had her a couple days after which is terrible and just a couple other like tragedies around rfk and ethel's family it nice In 1955, Ethel's parents were killed in a plane crash, just, like, coincidentally. And then also the Skakel thing is her nephew, Michael Skakel, was involved. He was convicted of killing his neighbor, Martha Moxley.

And he did it in, like, 1960. It's like, we can maybe talk about it later, but it's like a story where, like, she went to a party in, like, a rich people's house. And he lived with his dad who wasn't really taking good care of them. and these rich kids would do whatever they want and he ended up beating Martha Moxelita to have a golf club

and he got convicted like in 2013 so like 50 years later he was convicted of that but he was definitely also a murderer so there's that another one in

number eight of 11 is Gene no of nine what am I doing okay this is the last these are the last ones number of the nine

original Kennedy children so Gene Kennedy is number eight she was born 1928 She died in 2020. She was the last one to die, the last of the kids. She was the ambassador to Ireland for a little while. She married a man named Stephen Edward Smith.

They had two sons and adopted some daughters. She had a son, Michael, who was, I think, also like something bad happened to him. I can't remember. It's so many things. It was just blending together. It was a steep thing. It was an airplane. It was some rich person way of dying.

Exactly. Exactly. Her husband cheated on her a ton, and so, like, their marriage didn't last very long, like, togetherness, but they stayed married until his death. She was pretty embarrassed about it and kind of, like, hit it and just kind of like let it happen. Her son, William, was involved in a rape case. He was ultimately acquitted, but he had been convicted in a rape as well. So some bad things happened to her, too. And then we have the last of the Kennedy children.

Do you know the last one? Who were we missing? Teddy. Teddy. Edward Ted Kennedy was born in 1932. He died in 2009. He was a senator from Massachusetts for over 40 years. I wrote lots of drunk driving, like, a lot.

Like, imagine the most drunk driving. That's where we are right now. Yeah, this guy's, yeah, I have a lot of conflicting opinions about him, which you're going to make clear why they exist. Yes. So he married a woman named Virginia Bennett. They had four kids. The daughter Kara died of a heart attack on a treadmill pretty young.

She had had cancer. I think another one of his kids had cancer as well. They got divorced. He obviously, like, cheated on her a ton, and Virginia was, like, really just, like, beaten down by, like, being the wife of a Kennedy. It doesn't sound like a fun job. It sounds pretty fucking terrible. And he actually had a second wife. He married in 1995.

Her name was Victoria Reggie. And they said that she helped him kind of settle down and, like, live out, like, the remainder of his life. And she is actually newly the ambassador to Austin. So 10 Kennedy's widow is now our ambassador to Austria. So it happened like literally this year. Here are the bad things. The first bad thing that is like not as bad, but like a whole thing, Ted was also in a plane crash in 1964.

He survived, but he was in the hospital for several months for the back injury and one of his AIDS was killed. So, I mean, don't get into a fucking plane with the Kennedy is my number one piece of advice. And then a really bad thing was in 1969. So in 1969, Ted Kennedy is married to his first. first wife, Virginia. And he's also a senator who's already a senator in Massachusetts. And he goes out to drink with his nephews and with his family. Actually, I think that I got this wrong. I think he went out to drink with his nephews night that his nephew was accused of rape. And he's part of that story. But it's not this. He went to a party in 1969 with other, a bunch of people. And he said he would drive a young woman named Mary Joaquackney home. And by all accounts, like, she didn't really drink that much. Like, I don't know if she, like, trusted him because he was, I mean, he's a senator, you know, and he, for whatever reason, drove her home.

He crashes off of a bridge and into the water. He gets out of the car, and he walks 15 minutes back home. He passes four houses where he could have stopped and called for help, but he doesn't. And he eventually, when he finally tells someone, they go and try to find her, but she's obviously dead. So Mary, Mary Joaquackney died in that, like, horrifying way. His wife had already had two miscarriages and was pregnant and had a third miscarriage after the trial. So it was just like super traumatic and horrible for everyone.

Wait, Taylor. She ended up not being, yeah, tell me. There's a part of that story that's really, really bad. So, like, when they found, when they found, when the police finally got the car out and pulled her body out, they found there was like scratching claw marks on the, roof of the car. Like, she was very much alive when this all happened. Like, he could have actually saved her. Yeah. And then another he could have saved her. That's incredible. And this, I'm getting this from the last podcast episode on the Kennedy's was that apparently he went back

to, I don't know, the hotel or kind of whatever he was staying in. And he called the manager to complain because the neighbors were being loud and playing music too loud. But this night that this happened. That's what he did. Oh my God, he just killed the one. Yeah. So he ended up not being charged. And he, like, offered to step down, but he didn't step down from the Senate. He paid her family $90,000.

And they got $50,000 from insurance, but they didn't pursue it any further because they just didn't want to, like, they just wanted to grieve in private, you know? Like, it would have been just, like, a media circus. And then the last thing I read about this is, did you watch Succession? Uh, is that, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've certainly three. On HBO? Yeah. Oh, well, spoiler alert. This happens in this session as well, where a rich kid gets a car accident and someone dies,

and his family covers it up, and it's a lot, and he's definitely traumatized by it. It's a whole thing, but it was obviously, like, about to have a critic. And I didn't see them, I don't know there's a movie about it, but I haven't seen that. But it's just like, it's a, what the fuck are you talking about? I've had anybody else there to be in jail forever. You can't drunk drive someone off a bridge and kill them because it's the rules. Yeah. Cool. Well, that's all I got. That's it. That's the ninth and last of the Kennedy kids who none of them had a really great life. Despite all of their money and privilege, they were definitely, I mean, I don't know, obviously to believe in curses, but like, that's a lot of tragedy or a family. So when I think of dynastic American families, obviously the Candidies are the very first one they come to mind. Feels weird to say it this way.

But, you know, I now would probably categorize the Bush family as well in that similar vein. And interestingly enough, like, it's just like they just don't have the same. Like, you never hear about them, like, killing somebody. Laura Bush definitely killed someone driving. Did she really? Laura Bush did. Oh, yeah. When she was younger.

No, but I don't know if she was drunk or whatever, but I know that that definitely happened. Well, okay. But I think also, like you said dynasties, yeah, look that up. I went to mention, like, this is also ties into, like, Ka from the Great and, like, Jenghis Khan and all things you're saying is, like, you cannot have a dynasty because you're going to have dumb kids, you know? And, like, also, if you try to have a dynasty,

you're going to have really traumatized kids. So, like, if Joe Kennedy is, like, we have to win no matter what, we're a super rich, we'll pay for you to get out of trouble because you have to win. Like, that doesn't breed people who are going to not do stupid things, you know? Well, yeah. It's just, like, hard to continue that.

I don't believe in like a dynastic line is just impossible because you have like an idiot like I don't know I would I would also say that I mean like with anything media related there if there are amazing Kennedys right who like lived a great life and did great things and I mean I'm talking about the next generation's removed from this you probably don't hear about it because it's not sensational right I mean yeah I mean did do a lot of good things you're right like the special Olympics is huge they did there's like so many non-profits tied to the Kennedy. That's all like really, really great. So they definitely did a lot of good, but they were like tragic and haunted, I think. Yeah. Yeah. You should definitely not get, I mean, these people getting on planes, like, come on, guys. You have to have learned by now that that's just not a mode of transportation that's accessible to you anymore. Even if you're like a person who's like, I want to buy my own little plane, like, you better have made your peace with God because that's how you're going to die. I know. You shouldn't do that.

It can't be like a side hustle. Like you have to have an actual job. Especially like the planes where like the JFK Jr. did the same thing that Kobe Bryant's helicopter pilot did where they were like, oh, we're not using our instruments. We're only going to abuse visual guides. And it doesn't work in the dark or in the fog. Yeah. There's just like so many things that you're like, don't do that.

I kind of feel for Carolyn Bissette in that situation. She wanted to get to. divorced. Yeah. So I was, I was casually glancing at her, her Wikipedia in the middle of this. And it sounded like the media piece, like, I mean, she obviously knew who she was marrying, but I don't think that you know the gravity of it until you're in it. And she was just like so not about the media, so not about, just getting paparazzi all over

her. Like it sounds, I mean, maybe they were going to get divorced for other reasons anyways, but it sounded like that was a huge issue. I think so. I think so that reminded me like in the book they were like talking about how if she couldn't leave her apartment because there was like paparazzi everywhere. And there's actually like one of the first like real paparazzi in the street pictures is of Jackie Kennedy. Have you ever seen that? No.

It's like one where she was like walking out of a hotel and a photographer was like, hey, she turns the smiles because she thought she thinks she might know him. He takes a picture of her and then she's like get super upset. But that was like one of the first like street paparazzi pictures, you know, before it became like everything. And I don't know if you've ever seen like a video of what it looks like from the other side of a paparazzi thing. And like, it looks horrifying. It does.

You have like a hundred people screaming at you and flashing in your eyes and all of that. So like, that sounds terrible. Yeah. My favorite is when celebrities lose it and break their stuff. That's always fun. They should, man. They should. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I think they're actually first. This is a long episode of all time. Yeah. Well, I don't think so, but I do think it's. I think when you're like, when you do so.

much different we do so many different things and you have the resources do so many different things bad things happen right like i don't i don't have a ski chalet in aspen to go skiing play football on but if i did maybe that's how i would die right exactly yeah no i've never been invited to play ski football taylor i do think that this is going to be like a two hour long episode it is well great job it's our 10 it's our 10th though if you stuck around long enough to actually hear us come to a close then good for you we appreciate it thank you thanks friends your friends thank you everyone for the feedback yeah absolutely thank you for everybody who's listening and who's been providing that feedback and check out our episodes and especially rating us on

all the apps that actually seems to be really helpful so usually taylor calls it out yeah you'll do it if far as asks yeah maybe you'll do it if far as asks yeah maybe you'll do it if far's Yeah. Awesome. Well, Taylor, we'll go ahead and wrap up. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and stop the recording. Thank you. Everyone for listening. All right. Thanks, everyone.