Doomed to Fail - Ep 16 - Part 2: The Funnest Thing That Happened - The Mutiny on the Bounty

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

We are running late this week due to travel, so let's re-release! This is a top-notch story - The Mutiny on the Bounty! The Bounty was headed to Tahiti to learn how to propagate breadfruit for nefarious reasons - but there was plenty of back and forth and infighting and wanting to stay in Tahiti, bad leadership, and a mutiny!So fun. Hope you love it.  Join our Founders Club on Patreon to get ad-free episodes for life! patreon.com/DoomedtoFailPodWe would love to hear from you! Please follow along! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doomedtofailpod/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doomedtofailpod  Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/@doomedtofailpod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doomed.to.fail.pod Email: [e-mail] 

I am going to do a re-release this Monday morning because we are going to record a switch later this week due to travel schedules and all that. But I wanted to give you something and I wanted to re-release this episode because this is one of my favorites. It's the story of the Mutiny and the Bounty. And I feel like this story really gave me the jump to do other stories about the exact same time. So we're learning about Captain Cook. We're learning about exploration. We're learning about sailing. We're learning about the islands that people are going to that I've never seen before,

and we're hearing all these stories, and it's pretty exciting. So I am, I don't know, I love this. Let me know if there's more fun stories of the high seas. You know, we do do the Franklin expedition later. But really, like, to me, the idea of being on, like, a boat in uncharted waters in the middle of nowhere is just, wild like you might as well be in space so i love hearing about it let me know if you have any other ideas we were at doom to fail pod at gmail.com and as a reminder we are re-releasing our first 26 episodes we did two stories and one and now we're doing them you know just mondays and wednesday so i'm

separating them re-releasing them i think this is episode 15 part two and uh once i'm doing this and we'll have other fun things on the side but let us do you think In the matter of the people of the state of California, first is Hortonthal James Simpson, case number B.A.019. And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. Let's flip over to talk about historical failure and a crazy story. You might have guessed. by the rum that we're going into the high seas, and we're going to talk about the mutiny and the bounty. Have you heard of that before? I have. This is, this is, um, oh my God. This is, this is an Amistad, is it? No. No, because that's Amistad. This is bounty. This is bounty. This is

right. Correct. The bounty is a ship, though. See, I know, I know enough to know that. I knew, okay. So I have heard of it. Hi, sees. So the meeting of the bounty. I got this idea, actually, from my boss. She mentioned it. She was like, oh, I was looking this up this weekend and it was crazy. And I was like, cool. So I was going to do something else this week, but then I had, um, just like read a book and I was like, I can, or if I could read a whole book this week, I was super busy. So I was able to listen to a book and watch a movie to learn a little bit about this, about this story. So I read a National Geographic article. I watched the 1962 movie Mutiny on the Bounty with Marlon Brando. And then I also read the book by Captain Bly, who's the captain. He wrote a book

after called like the Mutiny on the Bounty essentially that's what it's called so I read his book so before I get to that story I stumbled upon a true crime story while researching it so I'll tell this really fast so like I said I watched the 1962 film Mutiny on the Bounty super long there's an intermission and an overture I love an overture but like it's crazy long Marlon Brando plays fletcher Christian one of the main characters he has this like really weird English accent where it's like hi like it's like a high voice and like a her no no no no no no brand no brando's voice is not made to be british yeah no it's real weird so he's like he's like uh he's in it kind of plays like more of a he's more of a rich guy as we'll learn so in the movie they go to tahiti you're gonna learn

this in a little bit too there's a woman who dances like for marlin brando in the movie they do like a lot of eye contact and you're like i don't know there's something going on between those two like they're definitely you know whatever they're looking each other weird so it turns out that she this is real in real life this woman this she's in 19 year old actress from Tahiti like actress is loose it was just like they went to Tahiti and like grabbed all the local people to be in this movie and so he he's 36 she's 19 he takes her back to L.A and they get married her name is Tarita Terrapia she's still alive she's 81 so he brings this like young woman back from Tahiti to L.A it was up and down because

he's kind of a monster just like you know being a movie star doing all these things like being mean they have two kids in total he has 11 kids and mom brando he died in 2004 but some of his kids are young they're like younger than us they're like 29 seriously which is bizarre yeah so i've had pretty good-looking kids though oh yeah everyone's real good looking i mean everyone's fucking gorgeous marlon brando is gorgeous i mean he was yes i know i'm not saying like island of dr morrow marlon brandon was gorgeous but like we're on brando and meeting the bounty it's gorgeous He had a kid who was 49 years old and died in 2008. Okay, wait, I'm getting there.

Stop. Am I ruining things? No, just wait. Don't read about his kids. Stop. So one of the 11 kids, the one that he has with Trita, he has two kids with her. One of them is a daughter named Cheyenne. So Cheyenne has it rough.

Her dad is like ignores her and is mean to her. He ends up buying some property in Tahiti and like building a hotel and having the mom manage it and kind of ignoring his family. So she's like, I hate my. hate my dad. Now it's the 90s. Shianne, Marlon Brando's daughter, has a boyfriend. His name is Dagdrollet, and he is abusive towards her. So he starts abusing Cheyenne. And then Marlon Brando has another son, Christian, from his first marriage, who's older than Cheyenne. Are you with me? So there's, yeah, like, it's just like, like, dude, it's just such a good-looking cluster of humans. They're also good-looking. Oh, my God. So, uh, Christian is,

older than Cheyenne, they're half-siblings. And Cheyenne, whose mom is from Tahiti from the movies, her dad is Marlon Brando, has a boyfriend named Dag, and Christian comes to Marlon Brando's house where Dagg and Cheyenne are having a fight, and Christian shoots him point-blank in the head and kills him. Good for him. So Marlon Brando's son kills his half-sisters' boyfriend who's being an abusive asshole. Guess who Christian's lawyer is when he is on trial? the guy who uh oh god um the charles manson prosecutor robert shapiro no shit yeah

robert shapiro but a bunch of like exclamation points so christian pleads guilty he sir he gets 10 years he serves five um Cheyenne didn't testify she attempted suicide twice she was also pregnant with dag's child and um later they thought that christian was also involved in helping robert blake murder his wife but that's not like confirmed and he's the one who died at of pneumonia in 2008 age 49 so christian died shyan has her baby then she's diagnosed as schizophrenic and in 1995 she's only 25 years old and she dies by suicide by shooting herself damn not wild it's like life i don't well depression's the thing right i was just like if you're marlin brando's kid like life has got to be fucking way cool than it is for me and you

i know you just don't know i guess you know anyway that's crazy that's all that's my true crime story i stumbled upon more than brando so effortlessly cool like i'm sure he was i'm sure he was a jerk off but like yeah it's like dude like the way he's rocking this suit like this picture of him and cheyenne with like him holding her from behind with a lay the lay on was like yes effortless absolutely effortless so handsome it's crazy and the kids are gorgeous you know like um yeah everyone's beautiful so yes okay so that's just a crazy story that happened because i was reading about meeting the body of the movie so i watched that movie there is a mel gibson movie but i didn't watch it because i'm not sure if we're ready to separate the art from the

artists on mel gibson wait do we so do we still hate mal gibson i don't know do we i think i feel like yes because of the anti-semitism and his dad being a literal Nazi oh i you know what i don't i'm not up on the dad nazi thing but i think that like braveheart No, I know, but that was like before we knew about the Nazi. Anyway, who cares? I didn't watch that. It's available. Okay.

We are in 1787. And so we're a little bit past the American Revolutionary War. Britain lost, but they still have a lot of other things going on. They're fighting with France. They're trying to manage this gigantic slave trade that they're doing, and they're trying to colonize the rest of the world. So Britain is still very, very busy. It's November 1787.

and a ship called the HMS bounty heads to Tahiti. It's called O Tahiti and then later it changes to Tahiti. I don't know why. The captain is William Bly. The first lieutenant is Fletcher Christian. That's Marlon Brando. And in total, there's 46 dudes on the boat. What's the first lieutenant?

Is that like? He's like, so because the bounty was not the biggest ship, it was one of the smallest ships that the British Navy had, it was called a cutter so because it had it was so small and it was i'll tell you what they were going to do in a second it had no officers other than bligh so the captain was the only person who was actually an officer of the navy everybody else was like just like kind of like regular sailors including fletcher christian it's a very small crew no royal marines to protect the ship which you usually have so it's like a pretty small group of folks those 46 guys okay the captain william bligh

had traveled to all around the world a lot before. He went with someone named Captain James Cook. Cook had first sailed to Tahiti in 1769. He sailed all over the world. He was eventually killed by Native Hawaiians, which I wrote I'm fine with because it sounds like he did a lot of like colonizing. But the goal for the HMS bounty was to get breadfruit to bring back to the West Indies to feed enslaved people, essentially.

So in Tahiti and in that part of the world, like a little bit north of Australia, that area. There's a fruit called breadfruit. It's been around for thousands of years. I'll post a picture of it, but it's like a big green fruit. And the inside you can like bake. It kind of tastes like bread. If you bake it the right way, you can like boil it, cooking in all different kinds of ways depending on the time of year. You can almost always harvest it. And it's like plentiful and has a lot of nutrients. So it's something that they thought they could, you know, bring it to the West Indies and just feed all those leaves with it. We feed them just breadfruit, basically. Have you ever had like jackfruit that tastes like pulled pork

I don't think I've ever had jackfruit it's like pretty crazy the stuff they can do with it like they do like a thing that I don't have a much barbecue sauce they taste like pulled pork it tastes exactly like pulled pork it's really weird but things like similar to that so the HMS the bounty had a botanist on board so there were

there were 46 men 44 of them were like the crew two of them were botanists who were there to get the fruit they had taken the captain's quarters and they had cut holes in the floor and added more windows and made it into a greenhouse to be able to put pots of breadfruit in once they got there so captain bly slept in like a much smaller room and everybody was pretty cramped because that was

like a big space that they had um allocated for the plants make sense yes hey do you remember this is like so i'm like having this memory arrived to me way after your point about the colonizing but you remember that guy who was like a missionary who went to that one north semitle island i was thinking about him too. I fucking love that he was just butchered like a hog. I think it's awesome. I think it's like, dude, stop fucking taking

people's religions. Stop taking people's cultures away from them. You should deserve to die. You should literally deserve to die. Like, I met chow. His name was CHAU, it was C-H-A-U, I think. I, I hate to say it, but I love that they were just like, fuck you and just like shot up with their

fucking love it. It's one of the most heartwarming stories. That should be a Christmas tale. Don't fucking do that. Don't fucking take people's cultures from them. There's a lot of that's happening in this story in this time. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So, okay, so they left in November 1787. They arrive in October 1788. So it took a little over 10 months and it was 27,000 miles to arrive in Tahiti from England. The ship was exhausting. A few people died. There was a ship surgeon and like surgeon I think should be in like 17 air quotes. because it was just like maybe off the cook or whatever. Yeah.

And he ended up killing a dude by accident because the dude had asthma. So he was like bleeding him and he had a blood poisoning and died. You're like, okay, that obviously is predictable. Yeah. Yeah. The Captain Bligh was actually pretty mean. He would order lashings or anyone who broke the rules. So a lot of people are getting whipped and punished for things.

And the book, he's very casual about it because his book, which I didn't even realize when I was reading it that it was like his, when I first started reading it, I was like, oh, this is like his actual account of this. But he was like, I'm maintaining order. What am I supposed to do? So it was like a pretty strict time. It kind of makes sense that it's called mutiny on the bounty when you're beating the shadow of people. Like what am I supposed to do? Like, not that probably. Yeah.

One thing that I wrote in, that I added in my nose that I thought was fun, fun, not fun, they ate albatrosses. Like they would like touch them out of the sky and eat them. And like the big bird. So it's a rough. Yeah. It's a rough trip. It takes 10 months. They were supposed to go via K-Porn underneath South America, but it was too late in the year to do that.

So they ended up going the other way down below Africa. They spent some time in Tasmania, which was called Adventure Bay for Parents, Adventure Bay from Paw Patrol. I don't think they're in there, but that's funny. Also in Captain Bly's book, so much of it is like, we were at this latitude and longitude. And it was like this time. And I'm like, how the fuck do they know what latitude and longitude they were at? So I looked it up, and I have no idea. It's called a...

Sexson. A chronometer timepiece, it's like the thing that could do it, it's like if you, I'll, if you look it up, it's like a beautiful like wooden brief case with like all these like gears in it. Like it looks like a time, like something you would use like a time machine. You know, like it looks fun. But they had like, they had they were just starting to figure this out and figure out where they were. They were like discovering islands sort of. Obviously like they're not the first people there. But then they'd be like, oh, I think if you're at this latitude and longitude, you should see this island that has like three hills. so that like someone else can like maybe know where they are later but yeah it seems really scary just to be out in the out in the ocean with just like guessing and like math and looking at the stars if it's cloudy you're like i don't know where the fuck i am you know so they were they were hardier back then i guess so now they're in tahiti they're about to go on to shore the captain bligh has everyone checked for STDs and everyone is fine in the movie they're like nobody thought so you're just going to gloss over that nobody thought was fucking weird that No, hold on. It was more. So, no, they did not have STDs when they got off the boat, allegedly. In the movie, they were like, the women loved having sex with us. Like, they loved it.

Like, whatever. Like, they say that. But in real life, they were obviously, like, trading sexual favors for money and, like, beads and nails and things. When it was all over, 40% of the men contracted an STD, the STD had been introduced to Tahiti by the English and French explorers anyway. You know. Hold on. So the women had the STDs that they gave the guys. Yeah, yeah.

But they all originated from other Europeans who went there earlier. Yeah, yeah. And we're like using them as like consorts and such. So somehow the bounty had a lot of stuff on it. They were always able to trade gifts. You know, so they were like, you know, here's a mirror and a knife and all these things. And so he was making, Captain Blah was making friends with the chief. Tyna was the chief's name, T-Y-N-A-H.

Captain Bligh never slept off the boat. He stayed on his boat while the man. men started to like live on the island with the native people but he entertained the chiefs and their wives almost every night there were a couple petty thefts on the boat but there was sometimes okay usually it was totally it was fine the chief wanted to come back to england and meet king george and bligh was like not today not this time you know so aim lower yeah meet his guards exactly so they like made a little you know they made friends and he was making friends with the leadership and basically being like can we have this breadfruit this is why we

hear that's the thing that our king wants and they were like sure you know a shit ton of it but it's hard to cultivate you can't just like take it with you there's no seeds in it it has to be cultivated directly from the root so they had to like wait for the root to grow and for the plants to be hearty enough to be able to leave so this this turned into like basically a fantasy life for all these men exactly it sounds like a fantasy like it's fucking gorgeous there's like delicious fruit everywhere there's like beautiful women that are everywhere and like yeah no they loved it yeah i can see where they'd mutinied yeah so fletcher christian he is the oh i don't know i mentioned this but he so he's like kind of like the the second in command um he comes from a wealthy family like they expected him to

be a lawyer but he decided he wanted to like go on adventures and such fletcher christian is 23 and captain bly is 33 during during this just to get some ideas like in the movie captain bly seems a lot older than 33 but basically they were like not that far apart he's Anthony Hopkins and yeah he's not that old that's crazy Anthony Hopkins was born like like 60 years old I know he was never 33 yeah yeah um so fletcher christian had a girlfriend her name was mawitua that's the girl that marlon brando flirts with in the movie and then ends up in real life marrying and in the movie the marlin brando is like fooling around with her and the captain is like you have to stop and the in the movie she's a daughter of that's chief

and the chief is like well my daughter is good enough for you so the captain literally goes I need you to go make love to that woman and Marlon Brando goes fine and they put him on a boat and Marlon Brando's like standing on this like little schooner going to land to like basically have sex

with his girl and they have him standing up at the front of the boat with his leg up and it plays the song like the dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun it's like really stupid but like funny like he's like I guess he'll have sex with her for the for the colony but that's not true they were just like hanging them for it essentially and i can't oh i can't hear you i see you i see you moving your mouth i was muted i was

going to say i guess if it's marlin brando and he's going to whip it out you've got to make it dramatic right right exactly and i think in real life there's probably a lot of also a lot of sexual assaults so not great so it's been five months the breadfruit is finally working it's in the pots it's healthy they put it all i have a couple thousand plants they put them on the on the bounty and the going to go back to the West Indies and everything looks good. So April 1st, 1789, the bounty set sale again back to England via the West Indies. Obviously, like you said, the crew is not stoked. They're like, why can't we see here? Fuck this. Yeah. Like, I don't want to go live a fucking by 10 more months on this boat in like doing those hard labor and being whipped all the time and

like it's terrible. And so I've also lost. This is another argument for why capitalism is flawed is if you could nobody who could live that life would then choose to go back to a capitalist structure I gotta wake up at 8 a.m. to do this. Exactly. They lost a lot of their discipline

that's like a big part of it too. They were like, why would I go back to like following rules? Yeah. So and also the captain's mean and it feels worse because they're like now I have an idea of what a good life could be like.

So there's a lot of something happens like a lot of abuse by the captain. There's lashings. People aren't allowed to have water. In the movie, I'm sure they did this. they pulled someone under the ship you know how you like like tied him to a rope and like pulled him across the bottom of the ship which would like really hurt because you'd like get all scratched

and that guy ended up dying so people who are dying bligh like wasn't really aware of how mad the the sailors were he was just like everything's fine it's hard but that's life at the sea you know so he didn't really like he wasn't i don't know he wasn't worried about a mutiny in real life it's thought that captain bligh on april 27 1789 so it's been like about a month they've been back at sea, he accuses Christian of Fletcher Christian of stealing coconuts and punishes everybody. So everyone is in trouble for this like alleged infraction that may or may not even have happened and everyone's pissed. So now everyone, like most people are mad. So the next day, April 28th, 1789, a group of mutineers led by Christian armed themselves with muskets and swords

and they burst into the captain's cabin, said, I'm taking you prisoners. Christian said, I have been in hell for weeks past with you. So they take him and some of his guards and people who were loyal to the captain and they bring them to the ship. I don't know. It's upstairs on the ship. Bly is surprised. They force him into a boat, but the boat's not big enough because actually 18 of the people

who are left want to go with the captain or they're like not sure what to do. So he hasn't getting a pretty big boat. And the captain and Bly and those 18. men they give them some food and they put them in in this boat and like let them go so this sounds even worse than being on the bounty in general obviously because they're in like a schooner they're on this for many weeks sometimes they see islands but mostly they're just eating a tiny amount of moldy bread this is where they get a teaspoon of rum every day to try to like warm up because it's freezing and it's raining and they're constantly bailing water out of it that's how they

warm up is have a teaspoon of rum yeah and he says that like awful it's awful and like they're it's because it's raining so much, they don't really run out of water, which is great. But they're also constantly soaking wet. And the rain is cold, but the seawater is pretty warm. So they take their clothes off and they rinse them in the seawater and then put them back on for warmth, which sounds awful. If you're just like soaking wet. If you, if you, okay, so I'm going to ask, like, do you think the way I think? If it wasn't me, like, sure, listen, I'm probably going to die here anyways.

I just want to get trash one more time. Just give me all the fucking rum. Like, you know what I mean? Like, just like, go for broke. Yeah. And then just like have one good night and then you know that it's all going to suck from there on out, right? I don't know, but what a way to go? Just like starving to death on a boat, you know?

I fundamentally, like at my core, I really don't have a problem with eating a person. Like, I just never thought that was a weird thing. Like, it's like, it's, no, I would totally eat someone. Right. Yeah, no. So I don't think I would go out that way. I don't really would spend my time trying to be someone that everybody likes, then one would murder me and eat me.

I would tell jokes. I don't know. So me and you would have to team up. Me and you would have to team up. So it's like, because, like, I don't want to hurt people naturally. So you'd have to distract them so I could grab them from behind and choke them. Perfect. I'll tell jokes. Okay, great. You're the funny one. We'll be like, hey, hey, want to go on a boat with us?

They'll be like, no, no. I've listened to your podcast. I know exactly what you had planned. So it is Captain Bligh and 18 men. Also, everyone is sick, obviously, because you're eating moldy bread and they're barely eating, so everyone, like, just, like, constantly sick. Meanwhile, the bounty goes back towards Tahiti. They find an island about 400 miles from Tahiti called Tuba, and they stay there. The natives are like, we don't want you here. It's a different group of people than we're on Tahiti. They're like, who are you? We don't want you here. They don't speak the same language. So they killed a bunch of them. And, like, the sailors on the bounty killed a bunch of the natives. they go back to Tahiti to the people that they know to get supplies.

And so they lie and say that like the captain died. They don't tell anybody about the mutiny because they don't want them to know that this happened. And they take 30 Tahitians back with them to this island. Eventually it's just too much. Like the natives who are there don't want them there. And there's a lot of killing and a lot of fighting. So they go back to Tahiti. So the mutineers are a mess.

They end up getting in another fight and dividing up. So 16 of them stay in Tahiti and the rest, including Fletcher Christian, Marlon Brando, pretend to throw a party and invite 30 natives onto the bounty and essentially kidnap them and enslave them so they can build a settlement on another island. So they leave. It's like it's like almost entrenched innate second nature to find people and horribly use them. Horrible use them. it's such a weird it includes women that they're like using as like sex slaves essentially it's just a weird instinct it's like when i meet a person i don't immediately think how can i use and abuse you to my own benefit yeah maybe i should that's my no no that's my fault that's my problem don't do that

um so now the original career of the bounty is in three different groups and here's what happened to them so group one is with captain blind as men they are on that small boat they eventually uh reach safety in Timor, which is like another island a little bit north, it's about 6,000 miles away from where they started. They get back to England and send a ship back to Tahiti to get the mutineers. Also, as soon as they took over the bounty, they threw all of the breadplants out of it. So they were like, so they were just like, fuck you. You're also never going to do. It was just a former rebellion. Yeah. Yeah. So that wasn't, that's not even an option anymore. Captain Bly does get court-martials and acquitted a responsibility for the loss of

the ship eventually. There were other wars and such and Captain Bly ended up being mutinied again in the Rum Rebellion in New South Wales Australia, which was not on a boat, but like they took the they like rebelled against him because he was being a terrible leader. And it's Australia's only military rebellion. And I can talk more about that later and I don't know much about it, but like you're a bad leader, Captain Bly. And he ended up going to Going back to England, he died. Oh, he got put on a ship for two years, like a prison ship. After that mutiny in Australia, and then he went back to England.

He died of cancer at home in London at the age of 63. So, yeah, he like kept going, even though he was, you know, whatever. Then the second group, the mooteneers that were left on Tahiti. So the ship that Bly sent back in 1791 to get the mutineers was called the Pandora. When they got back to Tahiti, there were 14 left. 14 of the mutineers were left alive on Tahiti. the Pandora took them back. It ended up pretty quickly after leaving Tahiti sinking. It landed. It got like stuck in coral. It sunk. They tried to save the prisoners, but four of them drowned because they were still shackled in the bottom of the boat. So now there's only 10 left. So these 10 mutiners are left. They go back to England. Four were acquitted. Six were sentenced to death by hanging. And three ended up being pardoned and three of them ended up being hanged. Thomas Burk. John Millward and Thomas Ellison, they were all hanged on October 29th, 1794 for the mutiny.

And they're the only ones who were ever actually punished. I mean, probably a good move. Like, you can't have people just fucking, it's never going to end well when you. So here's one thing I've learned that you're going to screw me again. We're going to, there's so many. I think bad leadership is better than no leadership. Taylor's being in the face. She's pondering the question.

maybe no maybe there's like something somebody has to take charge right because absent any leadership you have chaos yeah and chaos is rarely productive oh and that's what they ended up having the meet the mean years because they couldn't agree in anything right and that's like that's what always happens like that's what you see happening when like there is you know like you like have a good idea but if no one's in charge like that's what happened to um what was the thing with Occupy, Occupy, Wall Street? Yeah, 99% movement, yeah. Yeah, they had no leadership.

That's how all that ship ends up. It's like different factions, like, yeah. Yeah, totally. So, yeah, absolutely. And that's what happens to the last group. So the third group is Christian and his group. They go to Pitcairn Island, which is another island, where they want to have a permanent settlement with, you know, their slaves.

I didn't finish the movie. it's long i think i think i like you can get on youtube for free but they do find an island christian has a son and he has a pretty great name so here's another name that you can give to your future children uh fletcher christian has the son with a native teetian woman and the son's name is thursday october which is great because neither those are our names that is a stupidest fucking name i've never heard of a dumber name no i know they should have those aren't names the doctor should take that child away when the worship was submitted like not okay it's pretty great it's pretty great so essentially the women were

sex slaves and the men were being abused to like build this little colony on this island some women even tried to leave on a boat but they were unsuccessful and they had to come back one woman her name was teva rua she died by suicide because she was just like so tired of of the abuse. They did horrible things to these people that they had live on this island. In September 1793, there was a uprising by the natives that they had on this little island with them, and they killed four of the eight millionaires that were left, including Pletcher Christian. So he dies in 1793. The British don't find them until 1808. And when they find them, there's only one man left on this island well one

English man left on this island there's a lot of really fat just one really fat guy and there's a bunch of skeletons for real um his name was John Adams so he was involved in a lot of the turmoil on the island there was a lot there was like murder one guy wanted to marry

Christian's like widow in parentheses like the in quotes and threatened to kill everyone so they killed him with a hatchet and his sleep so they're like fighting against each other like this it's like it's wild and then one of guys was like super upset about just like everything and he he jumped off a cliff so everyone like is kind of losing their minds so guess where john adams turns after this he becomes president

in the united states no um he becomes very religious so he finds god and becomes very christian so he also had a bible so he tries to live life by the bible and you know starts to like be a big part of like bringing christianity to these islands and and does that even though he's definitely been a shit hole should have this whole time and then And he ended up in parted. You know what I was interesting about that? Like, you go to these places and you realize how incredibly amazing and rich that life is. Yeah.

And tell yourself, I got to make this like my own, my old spot. I got to bring Jesus into this. Like, it's just like what I mentioned when I talked about that one guy, the Egyptian guy, where it's like, why the fuck would you go somewhere and then try and turn that place into the thing that you escaped? Like, it makes no sense. There's actually a quote at the end of this natural. geographic article where a historian in 2017 said, European, European explorers effectively destroyed all the things that people had found exotic and attractive about Tahitian culture.

Yeah. That's the fucking worst. So I actually feel weird and guilty that I like Hawaii as much as I do because I know that. Learn about that. Huh? We should talk about that sometime, all the terrible things that happened in Hawaii. I don't know. I don't really know them.

So I don't know them that well either. It's just I can intuit that like it's an American state, which means it was settled, which means there were missionaries, which means like all these people who obviously don't look like Europeans with like crosses on the back of their vehicles. Like they lost chunks of who they are as humans because of Christianity and missionaries and stuff like that. And like I do love Hawaii, but like it's also I'm aware that it's. kind of gross

yeah totally there was a thing where no this is funny one of the times when the rock was on Saturday Night Live they were like

at a luau and he was like making fun of people and he was like oh cool you're on your honeymoon that's great do you wear crocs

and restaurants in Nebraska it's like it's so funny what are you doing here yeah so John Adams was allowed to stay

he died at on Pitcairn Island he's buried there so he's the only mutinyer with a grave, like he's buried there. The island is still a British oversea territory, because

of course it is. It has a population of about 50 people, and a lot of them are like descendants of the mutineers. And a lot of, there are a fair amount of people in Tahiti that are descendants of these colonizers and these people that came out there. In 19, oh, I don't know if I mentioned

that when they got to pick here an island at the beginning, they burned the bounty, so they burned the boat so they wouldn't, you know, have it as like evidence of what they had done. but in 1957 national geographic explorer louis martin found what remained to the bounty off the islands east coast so there's still like parts that are that are under there that's um yeah and yeah that's it so i feel like the red flags are don't be colonizers and don't treat your people like shit so that they overthrow you i um well i don't find this guy what you're looking for this fucking absolutely absolute dipshit loser fucking dweeb John Alan Chow who was all of 26 years old from Scottsboro, Alabama. What an absolute dip shit. I mean.

So like, so here's something like, again, like, I have no problem with people in their religious practices. I growing up and having friends talk about how they're going to go down and do a mission service in like Central America like fuck you like who are you to take their fucking culture away from them like well because they don't fucking have you know stock portfolios they're less than you like what are you trying to teach them like yeah it's so offensive and like you know what's funny. It's like, okay, not funny. It's actually kind of awful. I, um, I go on those weird rabbit holes on YouTube. And the most recent one that I went down has to do with the Narco wars and the Carcel Wars in Mexico. And I've like had this thought multiple times. I'm like,

dude, these people are fucking descendants of Aztecs and Mayan warriors. And they're cutting each other's heads off over like three dollars worth of like weed. Yeah. And it's just Like, and I try to, like, do the math in my head of, like, how do you tie that back to missionaries and Catholics going over there trying to convert them to Christians? Like, it's all there. I know it's there. I need to think about it more, but, like, it is so fucked up that people do that, and they think it's a good thing. There's just, like, no, like, this, there's no redeeming quality to this mission. You know, like, they were going to Tahiti to, like, take advantage of, like, this.

the women take advantage of the culture to steal their food so that they could bring it to the West Indies to be able to really cheaply feed their slaves. It's like all bad. It's all bad. Yeah, it's all bad. There's nothing redeeming about it. I do want to say that Anthony Hopkins does look kind of young in this. Oh, he's 47.

He just looks at the youngest I've ever seen him in this poster for the bounty. You remember when he played the wolf? No, wait, that was Jack Nicholson. No, mine. Jack Nicholson played the wolf. Jack Nicholson is doing terrible. He, like, lives alone and is really, really old. But Anthony Hopkins, his, his Instagram is like him playing piano.

It's quite lovely. God, what it. Even the locals told this fucking moron. They said they wouldn't take him there. They wouldn't take him. They wouldn't take him. They, like, dropped him off. It was like, this is close to him getting on this island.

He was like, I can do it. It was like, why? And I remember, I feel like his dad one time was like, we shouldn't blame him, blah, bye. You should 100% blame him. He said, 100% blame him. 100% laying him. He's a fucking idea.

And the people who enabled him, all of his fucking youth pastors and church leaders like they can all fucking bathe in his blood because they're fucking responsible for it, too. Piece of shit. Yeah, that story is terrible. And I hope those people on the island are doing fine. Yeah, no kidding. I think I read something else about them. I don't know, this is true.

This is just a random possibly untrue story corner that during like tsunami time when there was like a big tsunami and like that area of like India and Japan or something, people on that island were okay they survived because they had the tribal knowledge literally to know that when the ocean gets pulled back like that they need to run to the hills you know like without any science or anything

you know whatever I'm sure they have something you know what I mean super cool don't go there so um so his dad this guy's dad blamed his death his kid's death on the missionary community yeah fair 100%

one of my really good friends I hate fucking say this I wouldn't say her name name but like when we were growing up went to high school together and she was like super super Christian and was like always going on these missions and I was just I remember as a kid being like oh that's so cool you get to travel and it's like fun you get to help people and now as an adult I'm like that was kind of fucked up I know I had someone at someone also not saying it was like but they were like I got to go to South America and help people and I'm like no you didn't that wasn't helping people are you're out of your mind like that's absolutely not like

no you went there to like knock on doors and try to get them to be Mormon it's not the same thing it's a different thing yeah so Taylor Taylor I think we shine later than the evening I think I think at 10 a.m. like I'm kind of barely half awake and at 8 a.m. you're 100% not awake and I think that I think we shine man I think like later in the evening is maybe so Taylor moved our time but she didn't actually know what Taylor didn't know when she moved our time was that I was desperately wishing that she would because I landed at like 11 p.m. last night from Denver got to my house at like midnight and then

also had done almost no research for this episode. So the fact that she pushed it is uh it was hugely beneficial for all next week is going to be wild but let's talk about it because I might I can maybe do it from the hotel. Wait where are you going L.A. Wait, why? I have to go to working from L. the 24th or the 27th so i have to go on saturday because i also have to work on sunday which is like a big project and then um but i have two baseball games at the same time saturday morning the end of noon i mean there's a chance we could do it in person on thursday yeah but i can't come until later because we have piano until 530 being a parent is hard you should tell we should end with that no

no like have one one's a driver we have dinner well fuck it we'll order pizza the the casita and then we can just have some bourbon and pizza and record all right okay we'll talk about it i haven't i don't know what i'm doing okay great thank you for everyone who um i just don't stop i have to say thank you yeah thank you everyone and also i figured out how to review on spotify because my cousin lindsay asked me how to do that and i was like i don't know so i've honored out it's on the app only You can't leave words, but you can do the five stars. 15 people already have, so thank you so much. Please continue to tell your friends.

We have hopefully some marketing plans coming soon that we'll talk about next week and we'll get out to more people. But everybody, thank you for your reviews. Find us anywhere you listen to podcasts, also on YouTube as well. And I got us to Twitter just for fun. Awesome. Same thing. Doom to PhilPod.

We're on Twitter as well. Now we're on everything. When we're famous, we will not forget you, the little people. who helped get us here we'll remember you our first thousand followers yay because right now there's like seven of you but i do think but we are we are going up and i'm very excited and happy to happy to do this so great no we're way we're way past that we're like we're like we have like over 1,300 300 downloads no i know but like doesn't mean but this the last one you need to express positivity i did i just made something up and then i felt bad

about it. So I had said something else. No, we have in the last seven days, we have 76 unique listeners, which is great. Hello, seven and six of you. Thank you. So thank you. Thank you all. And yeah, we'll be joining you again next week, either from Palm Springs, remotely in L.A. in Austin or some other way. Also, shout out to Henry, our friend, who's definitely listening because we have one down. Yeah, we have one download in Portugal every week. So that could actually be the other friend i mentioned who did the missionary mission trips that means that she might hear this well there's one person in portugal listening to us so we know two people there it could be it's probably this friend it's playing on henry henry i don't know i thought i don't know anybody else in portral but you do henry listens like henry looks like mind hack stuff like he tries to like improve himself as a human he's lame people in jacksonville four people in los vegas guess one person in olympia

Washington no way seriously yeah one person in Houston one person in Rockport Texas oh that's the new GFs that's the new GFs that's the new GF's mom one person in Potoskey

Michigan that's your new girlfriend's mom yeah she told her mom about my podcast that's sweet two people in Grand Rapids what up Kelly and I was a friend from work. Anyway, very exciting. You should cut us all out. Bye.

It's like half this podcast, I'm going to have to cut out. Cut it out. We've been here for days. All right, I'm going to stop recording. Thanks, everyone. Thank you.