Doomed to Fail - Ep 177: What's the worst that could happen? - The The Münster Rebellion of 1534

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

Let's travel a century or so in the future from Britain's Peasant Revolt to what happened in Germany after they had their own. It's fully the Renaissance now, but don't tell that to Anabaptist Jan Matthis; he's planning for the End Times. We're going to have a city under siege, a Preacher who (surprise, surprise) wants to be a King and marry everyone, and a lot of good old-fashioned torture.We recommend the 1993 made-for-German-TV movie with Christoph Waltz - per usual he's evil AND adorable.There are two Jans and three Bernards in this story!Sources:Dan Carlin - Hardcore History 48 – Prophets of Doom - https://www.dancarlin.com/product/hardcore-history-48-prophets-of-doom/comment-page-6/A King For Burning / König der letzten Tage (1993) - TV Film - https://archive.org/details/a-king-for-burning-konig-der-letzten-tage Join our Founders Club on Patreon to get ad-free episodes for life! patreon.com/DoomedtoFailPodWe would love to hear from you! Please follow along! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doomedtofailpod/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doomedtofailpod  Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/@doomedtofailpod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doomed.to.fail.pod Email: [e-mail] 

In a matter of the people of the state of California versus Hortlandthal James Simpson, case number B.A.019. And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. We are reporting. Taylor, hello again. How are you doing? Good. Same. How are you? Also the same. Feeling pretty mid. But energized. good are you going to go to yoga later so i actually went this morning

and then for a moment i was like maybe i'll go again later this afternoon but then like again people are coming in town in the house of pigs die and the dogs are needing to go get walked and do all that stuff so i'm going to skip it thank you i'm an athlete yeah sure um hello everyone welcome to doomed to fail we bring you history as most notorious disasters epic failures twice a week every week i'm taylor joined by far as yeah i'm here too it's my turn it is taylor's turn cool we're going to talk about something in the time period that you just talked about so we're in the 1500s ish in another part of europe and do you remember my last

two episodes that were kind of prepping for this kind of not really i did the peasants revolt and chaucer and so I do remember that but I don't know how that would prep me for this I'm going to well I'm telling you that I'm just telling you that it was essentially a prep so you understand kind of what's happening in Europe at this time and the peasants revolt

we talked about how peasants demanded more money because there were less of them post the black death and all of that so that's that has happened that happened in like the late 1300s we're like 150 200 years later. But things are still happening. Things, you know, they move faster now than they did then,

I think. But we're going to talk about my favorite cheese slash a moment in time when thousands of people died. Free? No, but I do like Brie. No, Munster. It's a Munster rebellion. Have you? Oh, fine. So for the record, Monster cheese is not from Munster, Germany. It's from a place called Munster and Alsace, which is between France and Germany, which is where my people are from, which is why I must like monster cheese so much. I don't know what mustard cheese. It's like a very like creamy

plain. I just like eat it on like toast. Is it stinky? No. It's like very mild. You only do stinky? No, I can't do stinky cheese. Okay, it's not stinky. It's not stinky. So monster Germany is in the northwest of Germany. It's kind of

landlocked in the middle, not near any seas or anything, but there's like rivers and such. And my sources are obviously a Dan Carlin, and again, I will make a personal pact to stop obsessing over Dan Carlin's Blue Sky after this episode comes out. But he did one called Prophets of Doom a long time ago. It was like a one hitter.

It's like three hours long. They're all three hours long. No, but it's like a one, one episode of three hours long. It's not like six episodes. It's only one. Wow. Wow. Okay.

Yeah. And there's only one, and he talks about this. There's not a lot of information, especially not in English, because it's something that, you know, are books about it in German, but not that many in English as well. So I basically listen to his. But then I also, and I find this with Dan, my good friend Dan Carlin, that it helps me to listen to his stuff, get some sort of like visual or other information about it and then listen to it again, knowing what I know from that. So like the Alexander, the great episodes that he's doing right now, the first episode, when he put that out, I had started to read an Alexander

the great book for this show and then i was like oh i'm not going to do it because i want to wait for dan's to be done but having the context of that book the first couple of chapters that i read helped me understand what was happening when dan was talking you know i needed to know a little more well i think that's yeah we've mentioned before like you kind of need to listen to his episodes like two or three times because yeah yeah so for this one i wanted to i was working on it and then noticed someone posted on reddit on the dan carlin reddit that i promised to not be on for a while that there's a movie, and it was on the Internet Archive, and it's called, in English, it's called A King for Burning,

but in German, it's called the King of the Last Day. It's in German. It's a made-for-TV movie from the 1990s. And have you, you've been to Europe where people are a lot more naked on TV. Have you noticed that in Europe? I did not notice someone. So I remember, I went to Germany in 2000. 25 years ago and I was with my like the girl Michaela that I that I like study abroad switched

with and she was like we were watching a movie and like there was like people were naked in it and it was like on TV and she was like she's like oh sorry I was like no I just like not made for TV movies in America don't have nude people that they do there so anyway there's a lot of nudity in this movie and they swear in German but whatever not like not like that's bad I'm just like saying that I was surprised that it was just like on regular TV when I went there when I was 18. Christoph Waltz is in it. You know who he is? Oh, yeah.

He's delightful. He's obviously a fantastic actor. And a woman named Deborah Kaufman is in it. She's in a show called Dark, which is on Netflix. It's in German. It is so good. So if you ever, I'm sure they have it dubbed as well, but it's also really great. So anyway, I watched that movie.

It is four hours long, but it was worth it because it gave me. some faces even though like obviously not rural faces but it helped me like be like oh we're talking about this person and this person because there's several people with the same name in the story so you like to do that so I recommend it so we talked about the middle ages in england germany is going to have its own peasants revolt around 1500 so a little bit later than the one in england but it's the same idea peasants are like you can't keep treating us like this like things are really terrible obviously like all over europe for it for people of that class. It's 1534, and we're in Germany, and we're full Renaissance because

we were like, end the Middle Ages, almost Renaissance. Now we're full Renaissance. The Mona Lisa is 30 years old. So we're in the Renaissance. Yep. So since we last spoke, and this ties into what you're saying as well, it's like Protestantism and Catholicism. So Martin Luther did his treaties on the door of the church, basically saying that like the Catholic Church, they were selling indulgences, which was a ticket to get into heaven faster that you could buy for yourself or for someone else. And like, isn't that what they believe anyway that they can just forgive people? I don't know enough to know that. Like, I don't think, this was obviously a scam, but maybe it was just more obvious of a scam than just like getting your sins. I think the difference is one is like,

I admit that I did something wrong and that clears my soul versus. is like, I don't care that I shot that guy in the head. I will pay you. Yeah, here's 20 bucks. Just make them think I'm not guilty. And I don't have to tell you. That's true too. There you go.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. That makes tons of sense. So Martin Luther translated the Bible from the original Greek into something that people could read, which is bad because the Bible says, you know, be nice to people. And there shouldn't be ultra-rich people and there shouldn't be ultra-poor people. but people humanity hates that they don't want that to be the way that we the way that the world is

if for example hypothetically the world food program from the u.n told me that six billion dollars would solve world hunger i would not then give a six billion dollars to my own charity and not end world hunger but sometimes rich people do that and i don't know why i don't get it what do what's say it again elin musk was like basically how much money would cost to end world hunger so the world food program said it would cost six billion dollars here's a very detailed plan he said great he took six billion dollars put it into his own charity and never did anything with it i think there's a lot of simplification in that statement but it but yeah but like but i think it's the same thing that like ultra rich and ultra poor

like that's just something we can't get out of yeah because everybody who's everybody wants to be ultra rich. I know. But Taylor, if somebody said that you could have a private jet and you never have to work again and all you could do is like be an archaeologist and you travel with your kids and like, yeah, everybody in the planet would do that. No, I know, but that's not about the, but the Bible, but I would still help people. I'm sure you'd help people. It's just like, I'm saying, like, nobody doesn't want to be old for rich.

I know. That's what I'm saying. That's why we can't have a society where like everyone is fed because people are always trying to be ultra rich. Yeah. Yeah, we're agreeing. There isn't. I'm just stating some facts. Got it. Got it. Okay. So, but the Bible says, you know, that there shouldn't be

ultra rich or ultra poor, but that's, obviously the church hates that because they always want to, like, have gold as well. So, um, also the Catholic Church didn't stop doing sermons in Latin until the 1960s, at least in America. So my mom remembers when it switched from Latin to English. So they, yeah, that was like, a bad move in terms of acquisition to like, can you imagine if you could only see movies in a different language with no subtitles?

Yeah, you'd be like, well, then you'd have to interpret it on your own, which I guess is what the point was. But also, last podcast just did an episode about a shipwreck that had a new sect of Protestantism in it. So that is a kind of why I was reminded to talk about this story

as well. But essentially, out of all of the different sects, of Protestants and Lutherans and people that came out of this are the Anabaptists. And they are people who think that, and this part I think is pretty normal. And the Anabaptist sect thinks that you should be baptized when you're an adult because then you can give consent, essentially, which makes sense to me. Yeah, I get up. You know, because there's infant baptism, you know, which is like been on and off as a thing

that people do there is you know I think some people do it when like your kids people do it when you like reach adulthood like whatever with the anabaptist in this time their thing was like we want you should be baptized and you're an adult so anabaptist means like baptized again so people would get baptized again because if it was a baby do it again they wanted to have like communal societies like based on like this like everybody help each other thing that like the bible says and the Catholics and Lutheran like aristocracy pretty much was like no like you can't you can't do that we need to you know have our fancy hats and such so it's also an extreme part of the Anabaptists there's always an end time coming of course because there's always like you know the world's going to end at this time

we need to be saved you need to follow me it might include violence so you need to be ready for violence in case of the end times and that can turn into something that's a smidge cultish as you can imagine you said a sminch cultish yeah yeah and the one that the example that Dan uses

that he starts off with and it makes sense later is Waco essentially like someone saying the world is ending you all have to be with me we are the last people on earth that kind of thing

which I feel like we should one of us should do that eventually I sort of yeah probably probably I think it's just been done so many times by everyone I know

but so is everything anyways so these are so the anabaptists are coming out of this reformation just FYI so we're in northern Europe Munster is a beautiful German town I've been there I have not been there but I've been to Cologne which is bigger but has the same vibe but you can imagine like it has a big cathedral it has like these like beautiful houses it was very very very very much bombed during World War II but it seems to be back back to the way it was so it was just like a typical German town also we know Germany isn't like Germany at this it's a bunch of like principalities but it's like in the place the space that german is and they speak german we've talked about that a lot so we have some our cast of characters in this story we have the

prince bishop he's basically the head of the catholic church and like so he's really really powerful in munster his name is franz von valdeck we're going to call him the prince bishop we have the mayor who is bernard nipperdalling um so he is the the mayor of munster so like like the non-religious governmental side, but he's so obviously very religious. We're going to call him nipper-dalling. And then there's two other bernards that we will mention. There's Bernard Krechting and Bernard Rothman. We'll mention them like casually at the end.

So there's two other bernards, but the main bernard is nipper-dalling. We're going to call him nipper-dalling. He's the mayor. I can see why that movie helped out a lot because it's a lot of the same. It's a lot of the same name. Yeah, exactly. And then we have two yons. We have Jan Matthias, which is funny because you also said Matthias earlier.

He is a preacher. we're going to call him Jan Matthias. And we also have another Jan, Jan von Linden. I'm going to call him JVL. So, Jan von Linden, JVL, Y'L, Yomathias, Y'amathias, Y'amathias. Two Bernards, we're not going to talk about much. Bernard Nipperdalling, Nipperdalling, and the prince bishop. So it's 1534, and Yian Matthias has come to Munster from Holland.

He enters the city on January 5th and starts baptizing people. One of the first people that he baptized, remember, this is like a re-baptism. when you're adult is one of the Bernards. So I think it's Bernard Kreikting, who's the one that was first baptized. Nope, Bernard Rothman. It doesn't matter. So, Jan Matthias was following one of the original Anabaptists named Melkor Hoffman, which is a dope name.

Melkor Hoffman lived up in the Netherlands, and Yamathias was following him, but also wanted to like have this, like, the end of the world is coming. We need to be a little bit more ready for some sort of violence. he left and went down into Germany. Yamathias is someone who talks to God like God's there next to him. He will like stop and be like, what did you say? Okay. Cool.

As far as he says, he says you're dumb. Welcome back. It seems like a cheat code. I know. So he will, like he has an air button, like stop and listen to God. He might have believed that he really did. So maybe there was like something wrong with him that he believed he was speaking to God. I don't believe it, but like, I'm not a doctor, but like, I don't believe that. I think these, I think these guys are all making it up. Yeah, you could just say whatever you want it because who's going to call you out. Exactly. Yeah. So, yeah. So he's, he's, he says he's talking to God. He's married and he brings his wife with him to the city and he starts to preach and people start to listen. So when I say preaching, I mean, he's like standing on a box in the town square yelling, you know. Yeah, we have a lot of those preachers here too and blah, blah, blah. And now we have one. He's so stupid. He like, he doesn't even yell. He just like a.

a boombox and play someone else yelling. I'm like, you go home. But anyway, so people start to listen. And he says, God has told me that the end of the world is coming ASAP. It actually said earlier that it was coming to Straussburg, but then didn't happen. So he said, J.K., it's Munster. You know, he had to keep moving that goalpost. And it's like, if you've read The Stand by Stephen King, it's like Boulder.

It's like, everybody come to the city where you will be saved. I know you haven't read the stand. for us. Thanks for not even asking. I wasn't going to ask. But if anyone out there's at the sand, it's like bolder. So these guys start like taking over hardcore. People start becoming Anabaptist. They start getting baptized, following Jan Matthias around, and it has not been long.

It has been like a month. And people are doing this. So the Prince Bishop is getting very worried. Nipper-Dalling, the mayor is getting very worried. And eventually the Anabaptist expel all the non-anabaptists from. from the city. They say you get an opportunity to get baptized again. And some people they believed, some people they didn't believe. Because I feel like I'd be like now I'd be the kind of person that'd be like, okay, who cares? Like, yeah, that's why I don't understand what the big deal is. Like just go it again. Who gives a shirt? Right. But I feel like people really truly believed this, you know. So some Catholics like would not do it. So they got kicked out like in the middle of the night. They raided all their houses, made everybody leave if you couldn't bring anything with you. People died. There was burning, you know, they kicked out, you know, thousands of people from the city and now the city is just anabaptists and munster is again like we talked about this with london it's a walled city so it has about like a three mile long wall all the way

around it and the wall is very thick so like they're in the city and they can't there's no way out there's no way in like they're very sequestered in the city now that they've kicked everybody out after they do that private property is abolished and it's kind of like a place where everyone shares everything so you had to keep your door unlocked people could come in and like grab your stuff it was like a total like equal society quotes it's not equal but everybody everybody who wants this would absolutely fucking hate this yeah they hate it i mean most people just are just kind of trying to survive during the story um there is a blacksmith who's upset about this he's like this is crazy like what is happening and he challenges yamathias up in the town square

and he's like yelling at him and yamathias is thinking like what do i do he's kind of scared and then Jan von Lighten, JVL comes in and stabs the blacksmith and he eventually dies. He doesn't die immediately, but he eventually dies. And that really gives JVL his name because now he's someone who can like do the thing for the Anabaptist. So he's willing to like commit murder for this cause that like he believes in. The blacksmiths slayer. Yes. Yes.

So the people inside are generally happy. They're excited. They think that they're the chosen people. you know they think that they are you know the new jerusalem god's going to come down in a few months and take them to heaven all of that so dan mentions that people have this like mass hysteria and some people think it might be ergot poisoning which i don't think is true because that's what same thing with the witch trials like afterwards people are going to be like ooh we're sorry we got really weird you know like people are going to believe religious fanaticism isn't that abnormal

no i know exactly i don't think it's a poisoning your brain i think it's just yeah i think it's just like I think he's just like fanaticism. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So the Prince Bishop, obviously, is not happy. He got kicked out with everybody else. So he camps outside the city and waits. So he builds, like, another city outside of Munster, essentially, where he is, like, just, like, waiting and keeping Munster under siege.

They can't get out. They can't get any supplies. He's just, like, standing there. So in April, there is a battle kind of at, like, the main gate of Munster. And Yamathias had said, I miss it only two. He's been there like from January to April. He's been there like three months.

And he said that Easter was the day that the rapture was going to come. All this stuff was going to happen. Of course it doesn't. Yamaathias and a group of guys go out to try to fight the Prince Bishop. They lose. They all die. Yamaathias's head gets cut off, put on a spike, and his genitals get nailed to the door, which is gross. We know for sure it says genitals.

Great question. I don't know for sure. No. Okay. Well, see, these are the other questions we got to ask. Yeah. I also feel like after, yeah, no, I don't know. I don't know how you know.

Kind of gross, right? When you think about it, when you start dwelling on it, somebody had to hold it. I definitely don't like a pile of... Somebody had to cut it with the other hand. And then they had to like hold it up with blood port. It's just like, it's just... Yeah. You know, gross job.

So he was essentially, he was the leader and he's dead. And it's been a couple months. People are like, well, what are we going to do? So, of course, JVL has always. was been there. He, you know, was a person who stabbed the blacksmith. He's been like working his way up. He's been preaching. And he also came from like Holland from from north. And he heard there were opportunities in Munster to preach. He was a failed tailor and a failed actor and like a million other things and was like, I think I could make my living preaching, which kind of reminds me.

Remember when Van Gogh thought he could do that? But people were like, well, back when we talked about Van Gogol, like, two years ago, he would go, he went to England and tried to be a preacher, people were like, this is way too much for me, because he had a really thick accent and was really, really, really, really excited about God. And people were like, but I feel like JVL is like that, but people love it in this time. It also reminds me a little, it also reminds me a little of, there will be blood where like, if you're like just crazy enough and just lacking in morals enough, you can be like a very successful preacher. Yes. Yes.

Exactly. Exactly. So JVL takes charge. He's like, I'll be in charge now that Yamathias is dead. He was obviously married in Holland because of course he was and like left his wife to go be a preacher. I feel like that happens a thousand times. And so he like left her. I was like, I'll be back. Never went back.

He also then the first person he marries in in Munster, he marries Nipper Darling's daughter. he also then is like I want to marry other people which is very David crush of him so he says that you know the Bible says I don't know who king David had a bunch of wives or whatever so everyone should have whatever many wives that they want there were definitely more women than men in the city some of the Catholic nuns you know they were no longer Catholic nuns anymore so they were like young women who were you know of marrying age whatever that means and so men could have more than one wife all of a sudden which cults do all the time they love that shit But I also think that back then, that's probably not a bad idea. Because, like, again, nobody exists back then because we just died so frequently. That's true. I mean, one of your wives is definitely going to die in childbirth, if not more than one. Yeah, so, like, have like seven of them because, you know that four of them are going to die. And then, like, they're each going to have seven kids and eight of those are going to die.

Well, that is math. That math doesn't add up. But still. But you know what I mean. Yeah. I know what I mean. So I was just listening to this for economics episode. about the brown rat and how reviled it is in the U.S. especially.

And they were talking about how, I never thought about it this way, but they were like, yeah, every female rat after three months can produce a litter of at least eight other rats. And every one of those goes into gestation three months later. And he was asked as like, why is nothing else evolved like then? like because rats are the like biggest prey animal there is so like they're made to be eaten and so as a result because they die so often they have to reproduce a lot to do that with humans i'm not saying humans or rats i'm just saying like we were like rats because

we died really fast yeah i i'm i'm coming over to the side yes because also like you're gonna first that taylor is pro polygamy i mean your wife's gonna die and you're gonna marry someone else anyway and then she's going to die she might as well do it all at once yeah and then your husband's going to get like his legs blown off oh not even that his pinky's blown off and that's going to be like a infection that'll kill him right but then what are you doing when the husband like falls into a poophole in the middle of town and dies and there's seven wives and 400 children to take care of and there's no man yeah they just all die in poverty horribly it's a horrible time to be like again everybody who thinks that the world sucks today you wouldn't last five minutes

in the 15th 100s. Absolutely terrible. But now they can marry whoever they want. In the movie, they're like, if the woman doesn't scream bloody murder, then a guy can just take her. Again, not great. And obviously they're young as well.

So, but he also marries Jan Matthias' widow. She's kind of the queen. She's, in the movie, it's very clear that she has the nicest clothes. She's just like, she came down, she had the nicest stuff. And she's, like, the queen, JVL is, like, the king, and later one of his wife is going to be beheaded because she didn't go along with what he said, but generally he had a bunch of wives, maybe up to 16. They've also taken

everyone's stuff. So in the vein of equality, they've taken all the jewels from all the people that they made leave and for everybody there. Let's even it out. Let's take all the money. We'll take care of everybody. So they've taken all the jewels. At some point, someone melts down all the jewels and makes JVL literally a crown and like crowns him with it. So you won't be surprised to know that Like, he has nice stuff, even though nobody else has nice stuff. No. No, no way. So in the first half of the TV movie, he looks like Jesus. You know, he has, he's wearing robes.

And it's Christopher. Christopher Walsh has, like, a beard looks like Jesus. The second half, like, immediately he's wearing, like, a really nice, like, outfit. You know, like, he's obviously, like, taking good care of himself. So sometimes some of the people, like, there's one thing I read that said that people were, like, ask to like go around naked because they were trying to be like as even as possible but also it's cold so i feel like that there's no way people want with that but they're in their in their city it's under siege ja matias died on east on easter 1534 the city is under siege until june 1535 so a little bit over a year

they stay in the in the city without any supplies without like adding any new any new any new things. So that means no food. So people start eating the animals. They eat horses, then dogs and cats, then rats, then their shoes, then they start eating each other, digging up bodies and eating because people are just dying. People are like literally starving to death in there. And JVL keeps being like, it's okay because we're going to be saved. His motto is Gotis Mach is mind-cracked, which means God's might is my strength. So you're starving to death. We have this man being like, we are the chosen people we are going to be okay just wait just wait just wait so i read on wikipedia that one historian was like okay well all of the information we have about this are from people who

won this this like battle and didn't and are not the anabaptist we don't have their side of the story if we had their side of the story we might have heard that like it was nice so you could share everything and people were really happy but i feel like that is for sure that is absolute bullshit also it's like the women were not happy no matter what

you know like every example where we did this as a society it doesn't work it has never worked and nobody's been happy for it

yeah so I was like that's crap I don't think I don't think it hey can you remind me the name of the movie that Christop Wolfson yeah it's

a king for burning might be I have the IMDB link I wonder what they call it on I'm a B hold on yeah a king for burning from 1999. Oh, it's old. Okay, 93. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, thank you. That's it. I was, I was tired of constantly searching for it.

No, totally. No, you want to, like, see their faces. Christopher Waltz is so cute. He's such a, he's like a little guy, and then he's like, can be so bad. So this is happening. Things are probably really, really bad. There are some spies during the siege, so some people do go in and out. They pretend to, like, defect, and they come back, and some people get killed. There's a young woman who says, um, the she'll go out and try to poison the prince bishop but like she gets caught basically the prince bishop is like standing outside of the wall every day being like give this up give me my city back everyone's stop it's ridiculous we all know it's ridiculous everybody hates it here yeah the the real martin luther like wrote a letter that was like no this is dumb like this is not this is not anything that i preached at all like this is not no good um but they're still going but again the original

intent was to live as closely to the telling of the bible as possible that was was the original intent. Yeah. Yeah. Which is even worse time to be alive. Which is infinitely worse. The further thing, it just gets worse and worse. So eventually, the Prince Bishop and his forces attack the city.

Maybe at night by accident, because people outside the city were drunk a lot of the time because they were just like hanging out on doing the siege. But in the city, they were not drunk because there wasn't alcohol because they either they like drank it all or they were like, you know, not doing it because of religion or whatever. So the people on the Prince Bishop's side were a little bit of a mess. But they did end up attacking and like getting into the city. And a ton of people died.

You know, they were like burning things down. People were dying. The queen gets decapitated along with some other people. JVL was found hiding in a cellar because of course he was hiding in a cellar and not like out there trying to like save their people. I did look it up that there's a 50. 50-50 about Koresh taking his own life, but he might have done that. So JVL tried to make a bargain with the Prince Bishop. He said, why don't you take me on tour and show me to people around Germany for a penny apiece?

You can make a ton of money. They do that in the movie, but I don't think they did that in real life. But essentially people would pay to go see him and laugh at him. But I don't think that really happened. But he was taken to a prison outside of Munster and then brought back. And on January 22nd, 1530, 3rd. 36, he was tortured and killed. Bernard Kreising and Nipper Dalling were also killed with him at the same time.

What they did is they tied them to a pole and spent like an hour or so just burning them with a hot poker. So they would like poke him on the sides. In the movie, they burn off his nipple, it's a little gross. They have like these like tongs that are like really red hot and like pinch them with the tongs. So they're being burned and tortured. Then they cut off their tongues and then they kill them by stabbing them.

in the chest with a burning spike. It was funny is it reminds you of like how people who are like so out of touch with everything else like it's not that bad people don't hate me that much it's all yeah and then they're like catching like oh we got to like make this the worst punishment yeah yeah no it's really really bad so their bodies were hung in these metal cages from st lambert's church in munster um they were there that was that was wild I thought that they were in there alive. I was like, that's freaking terrifying.

I thought that at first, too, like in Willow. But no, they were in their dead. But they were in their bones 50 years later. So they were there until they were bones. I'm sure like birds were eating them, you know, all that stuff. And the cages are still there today. The whole church was redone in the 1800s. And then it was bombed on November 18th, 1944.

One cage fell to the ground. Another one hit the organ and the third one dangled. They were repaired. in 1948 so the original cages are there but the church has been repaired um and since 1987 they light up at night as a reminder so they're still foisted in the air yeah that's how much you're hated that yeah yeah they're still there's they're still there and they um it's like they put them back after the church was destroyed during the war you know so they put them back after it as well um the city obviously was a disaster but it returned to catholic control

And they were able to, like, put things back together. But it was, like, a crazy year and a half in Munster. Yeah, wild. Yeah. And that's it. And then I have, like, post-woman's history month, I have something that's, like, not related, but feels a little bit related that I'll talk about later that I'll bring up again.

But another story for the future. But that is the story of the Munster Rebellion and the Anabaptists. And a lot of people died for no fucking reason. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. Um, they would have died anyways, Hillary, honestly, who gives a shit? I know.

I mean, like, we wouldn't have known their names anyway. You know, how many of these, like, walled cities, people just, like, live their life until they were 35 and died at old age. Yes. And there's no way... We died at 35 at an old age. That's what I mean, yeah. Right.

And, and there's no, there's no one where, like, the church doesn't have all the money, you know? Oh, my God. Also, I wonder if the Pope's going to die by the time this comes out. Yeah, what's going on with him? He's, like, might be dead. And they're, like, he's on. a ventilator he's not doing well Pope Francis is in critical condition

is showing mild signs of kids is he really that old 88 I thought I thought I will say out of all the popes I like him the most he's definitely better than the last guy yeah oh he doesn't look good he's 88 years old yeah it's not that crazy old

he um he got weird looking oh see he gained a lot of weight in his face face so maybe he's on like medication and stuff you know his name is Jorge

Jorge Mario Barrio Joe is Argentinian anyway I guess siblings that's weird not weird but like

that is weird good if your brother was the Pope what did his brother do oh he's the Pope oh they also are parents parents always take his side in every argument

just because I have this tech job mom doesn't mean that. I'm sorry, I'm only a neurosurgeon mom. Sorry. Yeah, he's not doing well. Oh, yeah, those 51 minutes ago is in critical edition. So we'll see if we have if we have a pope by Wednesday when this comes out. Sweet.

Um, anything else, Taylor. That was fun. Thanks. Yeah, it's super fun. I'm going to go out of medieval times. into something more modern that I have been talking to my children about. So my first women's history

month, I read a kid's chapter book to my kids about it and we've been talking about it a lot so I'm excited. Very fun. To share that with you. And yeah, anyone, if you have any ideas for us, Women's History Month and beyond, doomed to fail pod at gmail.com on social media at doomed to fell pod.

Find us. Talk to us. Tell your friends. Please put a review on Apple Podcasts. We have we have we have some and I'm so appreciative of them or any like random corner of the world where you listen if you make us famous we will make you famous by calling out and shouting out a listener once a week do you remember when last podcast listed every one of their

Patreon people at the end of every episode yeah you were one of them and I cut it out I couldn't listen to it no I'd listen to it at one point just to hear my name but it took a long last time yeah it was like the last 17 minutes of an episode and they just literally read the names nonstop but yeah thank you that's fun I love her a lot I feel like my German is just so terrible also that I like took German for like eight years and watching this movie I was like oh my god I'm dumb also if anyone watches the movie please let me know because I think that there's this thing that I've seen in horror movies from Europe in the 80s and 90s where I think that people are speaking whatever language is most comfortable for them, and it's all dubbed over. So the lips match the words for, like, the guy playing the Prince Bishop, but the woman playing the queen, she's Spanish, and I don't, her lips do not match the words.

So I think that they did it, they're doing the thing where she's doing her lines in Spanish, he's doing his lines in German, and they're putting them over. Because I've seen that in, like, some weird horror movies as well, and I'm like, what is this? But it was like a style that they did in Europe, you know, in the 80s and 90s. There's literally no German women they could have hired for this. sure there were funny. I mean, there are other German women in it, but their lips matched to the words, you know? But I was like, I can't start this any longer because I'm trying to

like find the German words in the sentence. So annoying. Every now and then, Netflix in particular has a thing where it'll like, if you pause it and you play it, it'll be like a 10th of a second lag from the audio starting versus the video. And it's just often like, I can't, I can't do this anymore. I got to go. Yeah. Yeah. No, I also like, a lot of like voiceovers, I don't. They sound terrible. Agreed. You know.

Anyway. Anyway, thanks for staying around for that two second conversation. Again, please write to us at Dvenafal pod at Jumel.com. Find us on the social. The Dovenfell pod. And comment on our TikTok,

which Taylor is super proactive about. And I'm boycotting. How moral of you? I'm a very, yeah, I can't go there. You know, you know, talk with your money or whatever. You know what I mean? Anyway, oh, we have, we have 839 followers on TikTok. We literally need to stop announcing our numbers so that people assume that we're bigger than we are.

I know that sounds terrible, but it's so much more than we had last week. I know, but they don't need to know that. Guys, we have 8 million listeners and you're just one of many. I mean, you are one of many. That's true. That's Benny. That is Benny. Anyway, thanks Fars.

We'll go ahead and cut this off.