Doomed to Fail - Ep 22 - Part 2: Czech this guy out - Medieval General Jan Žižka

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

🎧 Ready to dive into the thrilling world of medieval warfare? 🌟 This week, we’re unraveling the legendary story of Jan Žižka, the one-eyed general who revolutionized battle tactics in the 15th century! From peasant origins to leading the Hussite Wars, Žižka's innovative strategies and unyielding spirit will leave you inspired. Don't miss out on this epic journey through history! ⚔️🔥#MedievalHistory #JanŽižka #HussiteWars #PodcastEpisode #HistoryBuff #RevolutionaryLeader #MilitaryGenius #WarriorSpirit #HistoryPodcast #LegendsUnveiled Join our Founders Club on Patreon to get ad-free episodes for life! patreon.com/DoomedtoFailPodWe would love to hear from you! Please follow along! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doomedtofailpod/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doomedtofailpod  Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/@doomedtofailpod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doomed.to.fail.pod Email: [e-mail] 

Hi, friends. Welcome to episode 22 part two, where I talk about the history of the famous Czech general Jan Jishka. Do I say Jan in this episode? I hope I say Jan. I mean Jan, probably, J-A-N, Jishka. I watched this movie called, literally just called Medieval on Hulu a while ago, and I was like, what is this? Is this Czech propaganda? And it totally is. Definitely was like paid for by the Czech Film Institute and all of that. So, um, but, But it's a fun story. It is a medieval story about a general who was very famous, who won a lot of battles. He lived to be very old. He did a lot of it with only one eye in an eye patch, the statues of him of an eye patch, and just a good old fashioned night and shining armor story. So, hope you enjoy this is episode 22, part two. Thank you. In the matter of the people of the state of California, first is Horthall James Simpson, case number B.A. 0.9. ask not what your country can do for you and what you can do for your country. Oh, yeah, obviously, yes.

Well, first, I wanted to tell you that I've been working on this outline for, like, days, and it's just, it's whatever. And I was like, brating it last night and my mom and my sister are here. Do you remember like several episodes ago when you said that lights out was one of the scariest movies you've ever seen? So scary. So I've never seen it. And so Juan was like, we have to see it because he really wanted us to get scared, you know? So he was like talking about it.

Then my mom and my sister are so funny. And they're always like, oh, we've seen every movie. We don't want to see anything again. So Friday night they were like, oh, we've seen it. We don't want to see it again. And we were like, okay. And then last night they were like, oh, no, we're not sure if we've seen it or not. I'm like, oh, my God, we should just watch it.

So we watched it. It was super fun. It was so scary. five minutes in i was like i had already screamed and my mom my sister wouldn't stop talking because kept being like i remember this i remember this oh i don't remember this part da da da like just talking the entire time um which like made it more fun but it was it was a good one i jumped a lot so i feel like i don't do that very often do you think it was one of the scary movies you've seen i think so it was like it was very scary yeah yeah i tried watching it again maybe like a month and a half ago and

I couldn't do it. I got like maybe like, I finished the warehouse scene. It was like, I'm done. I'm good. I can tap it out. That's the beginning.

And like the very first thing that happens, I was like I screamed really loud. Yeah, I couldn't do it. Which was very fun. Yeah. So, it's a good one.

So thank you for that recommendation. I just want to tell you that. Yeah. So we are, okay, so we're drinking Jesus's blood today because we're talking about Catholics. And I'm breaking the rules again because there are no rules. but I am going to talk to you about a winner, not a loser, who is the most celebrated warrior in all of Czech history.

So he's like, they call him the Czech Braveheart, like the best warrior in all the Czech Republic. His name is Jan Ziska. So I'm of Czech origin. My brother, Kinca, city abroad in Prague, and we went to like a little town that were from right outside of Prague. It was super fun. we like saw where my great great grandparents were born and things like that um my mom's side my grandma spoke bohemian so like from this area like for like generations back so i definitely wanted to go back and think more about like my people and i got here because i was home alone a while ago

there's a movie on hulu that's just called like it's just called medieval like the word and i'm like what does i what could that possibly mean so i watched it and then i was like what the fuck did i just watch. I was like, something was weird. Like something was off. The guy who plays, Jan Jiska is,

and I'm saying Jiska, I think it's Z-I-S-K-A with a bunch of accents in different places. And he was played by Ben Foster. Do you know what Ben Foster is? No, but I'm going to go to my...

He was on the Disney show Flash Forward, when he was little, and then he inexplicably dated Robin Wright for a while, and then now he's married, to Laura Preppin, the girl from Oranges the New Black in that 70s show.

I do know this guy. I do know this guy. He was in one of my favorite movies, actually. Which movie? I'm looking it up right now, because I'm trying to remember the name of it. I think it's called The Apprentice or something along those lines. But he plays John in the film and he looks like very rugged.

Like he has like a beard and everything. So I didn't really recognize him until later. Michael Cain is in it as well So it does have some like famous people in it But when I was watching it I was like something's off like what is this And it is straight up Czech Republic propaganda

Is what this film is Do we dislike that though? No I like it but it was just like that that's the weird thing Because you're like this feels weird It's a Czech movie It's the most expensive movie ever made in the Czech Republic And it's 100% in English Because it like they wanted to share it with the world

Which is like fine I listen to a podcast about the making of the movie and the dudes who were in it were like yeah this is something we learn about in school who wanted to share it with the world because what they learn about when they're little they learn about young just and how like brave he was so they also have a lot of it like a lot of stuff in the film is made up because they don't know a lot this is the 1300s so it's a really long time ago they don't know what happened a lot of the things are like whatever but they when they were making the movie they had a historian and the historian kind of like read through

everything and watch the finals and they were like could this have happened like we're not saying it did happen but we're saying like we don't want to like have a car drive by you know or something that we know like could these things have happened and then all of it was like yes like it could be could it could have been so do you know what's funny taylor is i did the research for um because i thought i keep mixing up ireland and scotland so when i was in ireland i did the research for braveheart and william wallace and i was like hey it's scotland not ireland and he was in Scotland, not Ireland. And B, it is considered the most historically inaccurate movie that has ever been made. Like, it's crazy. Like, it's like, there's, like, there's, like, nothing about this

is close to William Wallace's actual life or his activities. But I believe that. We're not separating the art from the artist on Mel Gibson. Right. Yeah. We've got it. So, anyway, so you should watch it. It's super fun. So, Alice, So this is essentially, like, listen to the podcast about this. I read a book about Jan Juska. And basically, this is a relationship between the Czech people who are having their own Protestant Reformation and the Catholic Church. So it's basically like there's going to be crusades. There's going to be tons of wars.

So the Czech people were following, some people were kind of pulling away from the Catholic church and following a man, another Jan, a Jan Hus. And he was like the Czech Martin Luther. So they were like Hussein, who sites? So basically, like, the thing with Martin Luther and with the reformations is that the Catholic church was like, you could sell your way into heaven, you could buy your way into heaven. So you would go to church and you would give them money and, like, jewels. Are they like, you're going to go to heaven? It's like, obviously it's not true, but like people thought it was true and they were mad about it.

Like. Yeah. It seems cheap. It seems like a cheap way to get into heaven. Exactly. Like, it's cheating. Like, it's not how you can do it. So here's what's happening in the Catholic Church.

This is very confusing. So we're in like the early 1400, starting in 1378, it starts to be a crazy thing called the Western Schism in the Catholic Church where all of a sudden there are three popes. I mean, live in different places and they're each like, I'm the Pope, but you don't know which one is a real one and there's a lot of that kind of at the same time. So the red flag I put is as soon as the Catholic Church started to have this schism and have more than one pope you should run because catholic church is already awful and now they have

like more popes so like that's a red flag dude i do kind of love it though it's a disaster i'm the pope like who are you to say i'm not the pope like i'm like i know i could like i could research us for like my whole life but essentially yes like well i think i should be the pope like what you just like bought a white hat you're like pretty sure it should be me guys so yeah we'll talk I'm wondering about the different post, but there's a bunch of them. But Jan himself was born in 1360, probably. Again, like, it's hard to go back. But his name is on some property documents.

It starts to kind of come up in, like, legal things around 1378 when he would have been 18. So it's assumed that, like, when he, that was when he, like, was able to, like, do those things, even in that time. So it could be him. I think that's him. It's a chance that he's younger and born later, but, like, we'll never know. But one thing we do know about Jan is that he lost an eye when he was a child.

It could have been any number of fucking dangerous things in the 13. hundreds, you know, like walking outside, you can lose your eye, I imagine. You know, like, there's just, you get like a splinter in your eye. It's gone. Like, there's so many things. Get a splinter in your eye. That sounds. You know what I mean? Like, awful. And like, yeah. So I can't imagine how like gross and smelly and dangerous everything is especially for a child. So like, I feel like having a child lose an eye is not a big deal because like at least your child survived because there's so many things going on. I think it might have been a last podcast, but I read somewhere where it was like, if you're a lot,

in the middle ages you're disfigured because it was their black was it them yeah because like yeah because like no matter what like you know if you break your arm your arm's not like going to be set correctly ever again you know so like most people are disfigured in some way and his way was he only had one eye that's so crazy it's so true also also in the movie in the medieval movie there's a woman who's like helping him she's like a princess but there was really no woman like that involved in the story, but he did have two wives, both him, Catherine, but they both passed away kind of early. So he didn't, he is able to kind of go off and be a warrior and not worry about anything at home. So it sounds like his family got into, he was kind of born into the minor nobility. So he

wasn't like, well, I'm just going to say he wasn't dirt poor, but everybody was dirt poor. But he was like poor. Right, right. He was like minor nobility. It sounds like his dad had to like sell some of their property. Like something happened. He was in debt for some reason. He became a gamekeeper for like the local ruler and there's a chance that yon worked there with his dad but he ended up becoming like a bandit so after like his at least his first wife died he may be married to the second wife it's like the late 1300s and him and his group he's not the leader but he's in a group of dudes and they go around and they rob if they plunder or they make deals with like different little towns they're like oh well we'll protect you if they give us money things like that so he

was like just like a bandit out in the woods he is out there things are like kind of happening but nothing super crazy and then all of a sudden we have the western schisms or the catholic church is going crazy and that kind of like starts off the hussite wars because one of the popes declares a crusade on the hussites who are in like the Czech bohemia area trying to have this reformation so is a crusade in this context just a bunch of religious people who follow the pope was a general, basically. Yeah, I mean, he doesn't actually go. No, no, no, no, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's not going to spill his wine on his way, you know, out into battle. But yes, he could be like, like, I send a crusade to you. So he sends a crusade of his, like, I don't talk a little bit about the titanic knights in a second, but essentially they're like, the evil, I think is fair, Catholic knights that just, like, you know, they were the ones who did the crusades and kill us just not people for, like, no reason. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough. I'll agree with you on.

So the Holy Roman Empire at this time is like all of Europe. And so Jan Jishka is kind of a bandit kind of fighting for like the people. And then there's Jan Hus who's like the Martin Luther of the time. In 1415, Jan Hus, the religious leader, was burned at the stake by the Catholic Church. And that surprisingly didn't stop everybody from believing him. it made everybody mad because that's you know riled people up young news was not a pope type he was just like some guy part of the catholic church said we got to kill you yes yes he was like the mart he was like martin luther so he was like

let's bring a religion back to the people and not have all these like ways you can buy away and to heaven everything so yeah no he's burned to the stake so that triggered a revolt among the hussites and they wanted to you know start to fight so here are some of the Pope stories. This is very confusing. So I'm sorry. So the first division, the Western schism that lasted from 1378 to 1417 that I've talked about, there was Pope Urban, the 11th, or no, the 6th, who resided in Rome, and Pope Clement, the 7th, who was in Avignon, France. So there's one in France and one in Rome, and there's a third one somewhere too. Alexander, it's Alexander the fifth. He was elected in like a compromise, but he died, and then his successor,

John the 23rd was the third Pope. So the third Pope, John the 23rd, his real name was Baldassaricosa. He was born in 1370 in Naples. I just think that's a dope name. Baldassaricosa from Nephry. That guy just can, his blood is wine. Exactly, exactly. So the popes that aren't like the real pope once they like, everything, all the dust settled

and moved back there were the ones that weren't actually like the real one after all are called anti-popes which is also a cool name some of them are anti-popes that's cool them being called a pope yeah I think so too um so I think we could do but we could do an episode on every pope and all like this shit that they did like so many of them did so many bad things but I just also wanted to mention that there is there actually was a more recent pope John the 23rd this was in the 1960s and he was born Angelo Diceppe Roncali, also Italian. And Pope John Paul, the one that we grew up with? No, no.

This is one before that. This is the one from the 58 to 63. But I think this is the one who, so this, that one in, it was like in our parents' lifetime. And he picked his name, John the 23rd as a tribute to the first John the 23rd, the one during this in like the 1400s. But he's the one that did this stuff like, we don't need to have. have mass always be in Latin like mass was in Latin until like 1960 well they wanted that right because that made them seem like you had to go to them for salvation yeah that's the exact thing

that like Jan Hus was against or Martin Luther was against 500 years in the past you know they're like yeah make it accessible to people and then they like you know we'll go crazy with it anyway and dun dun antipops so all that stuff is happening in the Catholic Church in the meantime You know, this is a hard time to, like, get a lot of information about because it's, you know, it's 1400. There's not a lot of information during this time. It's like the Dark Ages, quote, unquote, you're not supposed to say that anymore. But, really? Yeah, because it, like, implies that, like, nothing was happening.

And it also implies that, like, other parts of the world also was, weren't great, which is not true. Because there was, like, there were, like, revolutions and cool things happening in, like, Asia and, like, other parts of the world. So, anyway, it's this time. In Berlin is about a century and a half after this. So now we have a crusade. Pope John the 23rd declared a crusade against Hussites. And so now they're heading towards Jan Juska and his people in, like, Bohemia, Czech Republic area. The first big battle that Yon was a part of is the Battle of Grue Wald.

It was also known as the Battle of Tannenberg. It was on July 15th, 1410. And it was like the beginning of the Crusades. So it began, it was between like Poland and Lithuania on one side. the titanic knights on the other so the pope had sent the teutonic knights to do this so they're in order a military order of knights that have been active since the 13th century but really i think since the 11th century until now they still exist as like a thing they had a big the battle of grunwald was you know a big battle the titanic knights had a much bigger calvary they had a lot more people and they went and invaded and they lost so in poland and lithuania in that area right now it's a symbol it's like a national pride they're like really excited that that they beat the titanic knights and yon jishka was there he probably you know he wasn't like a leader but he was most likely there so then there's a whole bunch of other battles that that yon jishka is involved in

he starts to kind of move up and become a leader um he ends up getting like enough you know plunder and money and all these things he has a castle but only has one castle he doesn't like go crazy with it he's just like really wants to be out there on the field like with the men fighting He's a modest. You know, a modest castle. Nobody too. Right. Nobody do.

In 1419, there's an early battle of Hussai Wars. Zajiska against, he defended the town of Soudomer against an army. And he used a thing called a wagon fortress. So he, like I said, like never lost a battle. And one of the things that is because he had a bunch of new military ideas that had never been done before. So one of the things is a lot of. wagon fort so in in check or german they call it a wagenberg in german but it's like essentially a fortification made out of the wagon so he would like like circling your wagons but like very

seriously and like chaining them together so that you basically made a wall that people weren't able to get past so in front of the wall would be a ditch so people would come like running towards the carts and towards the wagons then they would like fall into the ditch and they had like that to deal with and then behind those the wagons would be more people that you didn't see coming okay so it was like a way yeah so it was a way to like surprise people they hadn't been done before they also attacked at night which was like very very uncommon i know that's even something that we hear from like the revolutionary war is that someone attacked at night and no one ever imagined anyone would do that because it's fucking dark that happened in texas that was how texans

got back at mexico for the alma yep just do it at night and no one will no one ever expects it he also this is also the beginning of like gunpowder weapons so it's just just was one of like the first people to use gun gunpowder like in battle he would put cannons on wagons and like move them around the battlefield and that had never been done before so it was like the first like mobile artillery essentially it also the checks at this time called this is just from Wikipedia but they called the handgun a pistalia and their anti-infantry field guns huffnice which are where we get the words pistol and howitz are so they were like the first people to do that Yeah. So you would, yeah, you would like be able to shoot out of the Wagonberg and like out of the wagons and like different ways just like haven't been done before. And that's where they kept winning all of these different, all these different things. So in later in the year of 1420, there's another battle in the, it's called the Rabby Castle. And during that, during that battle, he loses another eye. So now he's totally blind. And he has someone like, just kind of help him like maneuver and get around but he still commands the troops and he's still like very active in the military even though now he's completely blind i mean obviously he's not fighting he's devising strategy but like yeah but he's like there he's not not there you know like pope isn't there but he's definitely there there there was a uh he was during this time like he's

also fighting like the talk knights and the pope and then also just like the regular military not military but like royalty nobility people who want to be in charge so one of them is like a King Sigismund. They go back and forth a lot and get in a lot of like, you know, a lot of different like battles. There's a bunch of battles like on with against King Sigismund, who was actually the Holy Roman Emperor, actually. They defended a fortified position near Prague. They, you know, that was another victory there. And then he fought against the Crusaders using the Wagenberg. he fought against them in in Germany's

in the Mecki Brod area and he's like it's like kind of like battle after battle of him like even after he's completely blind like still continuing to win which is why he continues to be like a Czech hero and in like Czech history so besides all of that

he ended up you know fighting and like being a part of it up until his death he died in 1424 so it would have been about 60 and he actually didn't die of in battle or anything he died of a disease they said that he died of the plague but now people are rethinking it and we'll never fucking know but it said it was kind of more like maybe like a sepsis like an infection also because like

everyone had like blistering wounds all the time anyway yeah like makes sense it was dirty and taylor i miss this part was he fighting the catholic churches yes he was fighting the time he was yeah yeah he was fighting the tautonic knights that the pope had sent the crusade like against them so they were fighting that and then eventually they were like fighting with like the nobility in the area just for like the common person just for like the regular person to be able to like you know understand the bible it's you know he's very religious like you know do it their own way and then also be able to you know just to be able to like him or freedom than the catholic church had given them so that was like the main thing and

then it was him as like a leader of the hussites who were following yonhus from like them in the beginning and so he afterwards so they had kind of right before jishka died they tried to like invade Hungary to like get morally in but like that didn't work they didn't even really do it they just kind of like went in it wasn't going to work and then went back and then after he died the same thing happened that always fucking happens when like a big a strong leader leaves as they had like a civil war within themselves within the hussites you know so it was internal divisions some people were moderate some people were radical some people wanted to go back to the catholic church others didn't and then so they ended up like negotiating with the post and with the Catholic Church via the compact of Prague, which was signed in 1433. So it was kind of like a half and half. And then it continued to like just have battles and people weren't really in it anymore. And then so eventually it totally was by the end of the 15th century, so the end of the 1400s, it was over. And they were just dissolved back into the Catholic Church for, you know, whatever Pope happened to be around.

So the revolution lasted like 100 years and it didn't actually ultimately, ultimately achieve its goal. going back to braybart he also didn't accomplish a goal because scotland is still part of the uk i don't know i'm laughing but yes but if anything it's like it's like Ireland is the one you should be like respecting Ireland is the one north island is part of england but like the republic of ireland the south part that's like they actually successfully succeeded from the union or whatever the kingdom which sounds like that didn't happen here either yeah weird weird how we were exercise that I know well it's bravery it's whether you win or lose it's still bravery yeah and it's exciting to like you know I mean it's exciting to think about a knight and to think about like all these like

you know ancient battles are fun to think about medieval battles are front to think about you know you're like logistics are so crazy like I mean I guess also talk about Dan Carlin when he talks about like a medieval battle and like an ancient battle like it's miles long of wagons of people you know and he's like oh you know this guy brought like 5 000 people i'm like what the fuck should you get 5 000 people to follow you somewhere like you know and like bring your stuff we're walking you know like i don't know i think i could get like at least four people to go to battle with me i was gonna say i wish i could get more than 10 people isn't this podcast they're not following me across europe once we do get one of 10 people that's when

That's when it starts. That's when they have to... It's like a snowball. They're like, oh, why are those people standing in line? Oh, they're going to fight the Catholic nights. I think we'll win. I don't know. But yeah, it's crazy.

You're like, okay, like 5,000 people were going on a walk. You need 10,000 shoes. Too much. When you start doing logistics, you're like, man, I'm just going to stay at home. Exactly. Be whatever you want to be. You want to be Catholic, be Catholic because of shit. You're going to have to stop and pee because I don't have time to stop and

every five seconds for all five thousand of you dude taylor our pope the pope of our childhood he was born in crackow in poland yeah pope john paul the second in it yeah and then there was a the the one now is italian or brazilian it's something south american argentinian argentina yeah francis who seems kind of cool who actually like i think is kind of cool it was better than that child molester they put in place benedict or was he a nazi i don't remember if was a child molester he was a nazi i'm sorry i don't i'm sorry for besmirching him by calling him a pedophile he was just a nazi uh yeah no the tablac church is chock philippinos and also those yeah yes yes that's her man this guy looks so scary benedict looked really scary

John Paul looked like a sweet old man, but Benedict actually looked kind of scary. I'm on his profile now. Joseph Alosius Ratzinger, like the most German dude in the world. Like, of course he was a nut. He was born in 1927. I don't even blame him. He was a German. Yeah, he was a kid born like 20 years before the end of the World War II.

Like, of course, he was 18 when World War II. so like yeah like he obviously was like after protect the homeland from everybody else i don't know he but you know it's one of those things where it's like yeah i get it and also it's still wrong like don't be a nazi but i get why you were but just also it's still wrong yeah if you see someone being a nazi you should stand up and say hey man don't be nazi i have a i have a biden harris sticker on my car and I called it a profile and courage because I'm going to drive through the small town with my Biden's sticker on my car. Hey, what do you think is going to happen? Do you think that Biden is going to get through the primary? Because I think that he's going to get challenged.

Like, I mean, Bobby Kennedy Jr. is going to challenge him. But like, man, that is tough to see Biden doing like a debate against like a primary challenger. Like, if he actually, if we get like a good Democratic candidate up there, like you'll be tough for Biden, I think. I think, no, I don't think so. We don't. We don't. We don't. really do that no i mean we don't republicans do that but democrats don't really do that i think bobby kennedy's going to try well yeah but he's a piece of crap i've talked about that before didn't did it taylor didn't he not announce when somebody went and posted on our facebook page about bobby kennedy he hadn't yet had he no he hadn't and then because i i just talked about i was posting about

how he sucks and someone was like he's a great democrat i'm like no he's not he's a fucking vaccine denier piece of crap i it's seriously theorists dude it's gonna be interesting because like because that's my take on it too i'm like there's no chance this guy gets more than 20 feet through the primary without getting just bashed over the skull with his anti-vax stuff and then i was like dude i thought the same thing about trump i literally said the exact same stuff about trump but it's different it's just different like i just i just i feel like it's it's it's it's well no okay maybe i'm wrong because the thing that trump does is it validates people's hate and their stupidity so if you're a democrat we're looking for someone to validate your stupidity

bobby kennedy's your guy yeah you know yeah he's just like he might hit that he might scratch a very specific itch and who knows what happens right who knows what the republicans do which ends up taking swing voters to one side of the other like there's so much to be defined yet but it's um how can you be a fucking swing voter i don't know i dude god it was it was it bill mar who was like if you were undecided you must have like a brain tumor like there's remember this there's like the 2016 election was like how do you know the last like two weeks of the and those are the people who make the who matter decisions yeah it's just like the the least informed of all of us to

find all of our futures. Is that crazy? Yeah, and during, like, during all these things, there's just people, like, trying to survive, you know, and then you can so you can be like, I don't know,

I don't care about it. It doesn't affect me, but, like, it does, so that's why you have to care about it, but also just try to live your life. I don't know. I can see our next podcast being political. Should we battle,

should we just have, like, a battle it out on, like, a field, and everybody gets to wear armor? Um, I think that's called the Civil War. Just really, oh, it is. Oh, no. I think you're advocating for Civil War. I backed into that one.

Yeah. It happens. It happens. Well, oh, my God. So my, my aunt and uncle are traveling through the country right now. I just went to Gettysburg, and we have like a great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandfather who died there on the bad side. He was badly. And, which is terrible. And like, I feel gross about it. But there's, like, a tavern that our family. used to own like some gravestones and like plaques to be like oh the family was like like a big family there in that area which is cool it's cool to like know that about them but then my aunt was saying that the bones of the confederate soldiers were like my great great great whatever grandpa's bones would have been in that pile in the 1960s a bunch of like women like raised money in

virginia to have been taken back to virginia and I'm like those fucking racist bitches in 1960 being like this is we're going to spend our money on let's dig up these confederate soldiers and bring their bones back south that's when you don't have anything else going on right you have nothing like they should have raised a child into thinking that they have leukemia like that would have given them life more purpose but like i know that's part of me like i also buy into the whole we are a product of the time we are born into and also like there's got to be a cutoff like if you think owning people is good that has to be the cutoff point like that there's there's a rubicon i can't cross and that's probably the one that's exactly exactly

like you're you're you can't be smart and also think that's okay you can't be both which like again ratzinger this fucking guy like why again i understand it right you're raising the time but also i don't know maybe the germans didn't know what what hitler was doing to the jews maybe like they thought like oh we're just trying to support our own nation like i don't maybe like it was okay being a Nazi back then because you didn't know what they were doing i don't know i think you knew what you wanted to know you know yeah you know like in and in in now and then in all these cases like you know what you what you need to know to survive and whether that's like okay i need to like fuck yeah i'm going to finally have permission to be an asshole so i'm going to do

it or you're like i'm going to ignore it because i'm busy with my life and then all of a sudden and it's so many bad things have happened and you've you've let them happen yeah that's good point i like that that's that framing on it thank god we're gonna be like that taylor me and you i was just gonna say we're all complicit in the shit show we're living in right now but you say the opposite so i've done nothing wrong to anybody ever uh i'm just trying to survive but um but yeah i want to do i want to know more medieval stories i think it's super fun a mini evil battle sounds dope as hell in real scary and scary as shit to see those titanic knights coming at you it's like all they were like the white robes with like a big

like red cross on it you know or like a big black cross and they're just like coming to kill you they didn't do it ben foster the movie i was thinking about was alpha dog remember that one i don't know we see justin timberlake was in it um ben foster played a jewish neo nazi which was incredible and Justin Timberlake and his friends kidnapped Ben Foster's stepbrother and like that's how they all kind of

got tied in together because Ben Foster owed him drug money never seen it no this is definitely a product of its time though I'm watching the trailer no it's a good one it's actually a true story like it actually legitimately happened Bruce Willis is in it? Yeah Bruce Wilson is in it Sharon Stone is in it Justin Timberlake

there's two really famous actors who one of them ended up dying oh Anton Yelchen the guy who died in the thing that was terrible yes his Jeep crushed him an awful way to die but he was in it he was the kid who ends up getting killed in real life too

that's a good watch it's a really good watch especially when you know it's a true story you're like and like they actually stayed super close to the source so like it's actually how it went down like they literally were like we now are in too deep and have no idea how to extricate ourselves from this situation

we have no choice but to kill this kid like that's actually what ended up happening like they didn't want to kill him you know like we have no we went too far we have no choice fucking crazy yeah that's crazy that's crazy I don't know I feel you have a lot of morals of the story

today don't be a Nazi and don't be a pope you know what if you can prevent being if somebody ever asks you to be a pope or to create a papacy at home don't do it i don't know i think it's kind of fun or or call it or do it and call yourself an antipope which is like a dope-ass thing to call yourself that's exactly i'd be like let's bring the jewels

to me instead y'all i'll get you into heaven yeah i'll write your receipt and uh yeah 100% start your own church then go all the way why not nothing could possibly go wrong you'll be fine what do you do in the rest of the night um oh my god we're going to watch

succession don't tell me have you watched it don't tell me anything no i don't watch succession okay today's the last episode today's last episode and so i'm very excited slash nervous slash all the things and i'm wait i'm on my phone I have to like stop talking to you because I cannot be on my computer for the next hour and a half because I don't want to accidentally see something. Okay. Yeah. Fair enough.

Because people on the East Coast have seen it and I just can't. So, um, but yeah, I'm very excited. Cool. Yeah. That's fun. I'm going to go smoke a cigar and play Fetch with Luna. I had a dream that I bought a pack of Marlboro Reds, which is like not what I would buy if I was buying cigarettes, but I was like real excited about it. Taylor, I don't like to smoke cigarettes, but I would definitely, if you come here next time and we like get drunk, we will, we will definitely get a pack of cigarettes 100% no I can't because I would be a smoker but if we ever are like

no but once if you did it no no I know I know so fun though it's so I know I know that's why I dream about it and I know I can't do it but if forever like the the world's definitely going to end in five years then I'm smoking like immediately I'm going to go buy 10 cases of cigarettes so well I'm not wrong right so like smoking is fun it's the best it's so fun I love it yeah so when I was in when I was Ireland I took this one or um somebody I forgot who it was I'm gonna John who took a picture of me and I was in my three piece suit with my pocket watch and I had my leg up and I was like smoking a cigarette and I looked so cool it makes you so cool so cool and I was just like I can never use this picture anywhere like I can't use it on social media on professional social media I can't

use it on dating apps like nothing but it's like the coolest picture of me that's ever been I'm gonna text to you. Yeah, I was saying it to me. No, I remember, can I smoke cigarettes for a long time? And then when Juan and I were dating, first starting to date, I did. And then he was like, we would never found each other on dating apps because you would have said you smoked and I wouldn't, and I would never have dated someone who smoked. And I was like, I would have lied. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. I'm 100% would have lied. Yeah. Who, who actually is themselves on a dating app? I like, I never been on one, but I'm pretty sure I would have lied about being a smoker. Okay, Taylor, did you get my text messages? Come on. Oh my God. I'm sorry.

dude look at those boots look at the boots like it is the coolest shit dude i got the beads i got the pocket wash the three-pieceer like it it is it's on point and i can't use it anywhere such a waste i know i know well i mean yeah i wish that there was more researches of making cigarettes not kill you because i would love to start smoking again i mean if this podcast doesn't take off i can be our get rich plan is safe smoking i'm sure they would have done it if they could all those people who smoke jewel pods whose lungs are hauling apart right now so uh this like i said i think this will kill you like this is so much worse i'm smoking a cigarette i can feel it like killing me right now yeah those are what way worse way worse way worse

um okay taylor i'm gonna go ahead and put this off wait wait no no everybody please like and subscribe and share we haven't already and if you like hey also a question if you don't know us can you say hi because i'm like why would someone who doesn't know us listen to this so please let us know if you don't if you do not know either of us personally listen to more than one i'd love to know why please give me an email doomed to fail pod at gmail dot com taylor needs this please i really need this. I'm literally going to create seven fake email accounts and email you from each one of them. You're going to catfish me and be like, I'm a catfish you. We have so many fans. Um, we have to. We're getting so many

downloads every week. Like those are not our friends. Those are not our family. Like, like nobody has family or friends are that loyal consistently. So it's working. Something's happening. Something's happening. But it needs to happen more of because. I need to retire. Anyways, I'm going to go ahead and cut this off. Thank you. Thank you, Taylor. Let's see.

Where's the damn thing?