Doomed to Fail - Ep 261: Timur - He was a fan of skulls

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Today in 'things could be worse' at least the early 15th century warrior king Timur (aka Tamerlane) isn't knocking on your city walls demanding piles of heads. Because for real that happened, Timur's empire spanned Central Asia and was characterized by wall-to-wall bone-chilling terror (including flaming camels!), whilst saving the artists & scientists building a cultural renaissance out of whoever didn't die.We're talking Genghis Khan ancestry, Persian expansion, and more!  Join our Founders Club on Patreon to get ad-free episodes for life! patreon.com/DoomedtoFailPodWe would love to hear from you! Please follow along! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doomedtofailpod/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doomedtofailpod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@doomedtofailpod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doomed.to.fail.pod Email: [e-mail]

In the matter of the people of the state of California versus Hortenthall James Simpson, case number B.A. 019. And so, my fellow Americans. And what your country. Boom, Taylor. Hello. And how are you? Good. How are you?

I'm tired, as I just mentioned, for about 40 minutes before we start recording. No, I'm good. We just, we do record our bitch session of how freaking tired of Rome we are. Yes. this is the nature of working in the industry we're working in a general election or a primary election year. So anyways, we'll power through it. How are you doing? Good.

I wanted to add and tell you this on air. Also, I also have a lot of kid stuff to do. And like, it's soccer season and all that stuff. They have activities constantly. And tomorrow morning I'm going into school early at 8.30, which is like early for me to be awake and do anything. but we're going to start a podcast club, and I'm going to be in charge of it. That's fun.

That's really... Taylor, I don't know how to, like... I don't know how to, like... I've known you a very long time, and I know you like to be active in doing things and a part of communities and setting up communities and organizing communities. But I just don't understand, like, if they're...

Like, is there not a cap to your ability to do this? It's... I can't... Yeah, it powers you. I guess it powers you. Like, I'm an introvert. I get my soul sucked out of me by having this over socializing. You're the opposite.

I don't do, like, yeah. And I think I, like, I don't do a ton of, like, socializing, but I'm, like, around a lot of stuff. I don't know. I feel like it just is always something to do. But I also feel like there's just so much time in the day sometimes. I read nine books last month. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I don't, I don't know.

I've never felt that. So maybe that's where the disconnect is. I know it's probably there's too much time. I think it's still with the kids because you want to like limit their screen time. So you're like, okay, if you only get a half hour screen time a day, there's still so much fucking time you have to entertain them. You know, like there's still so much time. That's fair. Yeah.

Would you like to introduce us? Yes. Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Doomed Just to fail. I am Taylor joined by Fars and we bring you historical disasters and failures in interesting stories. and I have one today. I would love to hear it.

Okay. This is, okay, so I was, I would have something else that I was going to do that was like a little, not fun, but like felt more fun than this. But this has been, well, I guess speaking on for myself, it's been a, it's been a fucking week, you know. And like, I think that there was like, you know, there's a lot of stuff going on, obviously at work and at home.

And then those like AI guys being like AI is going to destroy the world in 10 years. I just can't do this. So I was kind of off social media for a bit because I need a fucking break. Plus, look, I can't, like the 9-11 stuff is just too much for me. We've talked about. But now on top of the fact that like I'm reminded every year that was a 9-11 and it's been 25 years and that's like, you know, I was 19 when I was there, 205 years later here I am. Like, that's crazy. And all this stuff, Mom Dani released. So I'm like, in retrospect, yes, we should not have gone back to our homes in the New York City disaster. area after 9-11.

What did he release? The air quality was like so much worse than they released and they knew it and they didn't tell anyone. That can't be in news. I mean, I remember John Stewart like 15 years ago. He is doing that. But they're saying for everybody, not just for like first responders. I was like, you lived in that area.

Like, so I lived like within like a mile from it, like less than a mile. So they let us go back home like a week later. And so it's just that they were like, yeah, it's fine. You can go home. but really you should not have, you know, and Juan was like, did you wear a mask? I'm like, no one even knew what a mask was in 2001. Taylor, could you feel it?

Could you feel it when it came down, like the ground shake? No, I wasn't home. I was at school. I didn't feel it, but I watched it from Fifth Avenue down the thing, the second one. The first one I was in class watching on TV. The second one, we left class. We didn't know what to do.

And I watched it like through the arch in Washington, Union Square. So like, no, I didn't feel it, but I definitely like saw. And I, and I smelled it. Well, obviously I smelled it for months. And like, but I, like, there was smoke in the hallways and Union Square. If you know where that is, like, just like all the way up the city there was smoke. There's just so much bad stuff in the air. So now I got a letter for NYU to confirm where I live because I can join this like CDC thing to get like free EKGs. Wild. So I was listening to. as I do in hard times, Dan Carlin. And I was talking, he was, I was talking to Dan Carlin. I was not. I was listening to Dan Carlin. You did one time tweet and get a response from Dan Carlin.

I one time attacked him at a restaurant. So I have spoken to him in person. But, you know, he was like, oh God, this woman is attacking me at this restaurant. But he was very kind to me. And but I was listening to the Alexander the Great and he mentioned someone who I'm going to talk about today. And then I was reminded also that I like, to listen to he has a book called The End is Always Near about times

in history where people thought the world was going to end, which is nice because you're like, okay, it's not just me and it's not just today. You know, like, there's been other times where it's felt like this is it, this is the end. I'm not going to try to be alarmist, but I will say

the AI thing does feel different than humans creating fire. Like there is a dramatic Delta between the two. I laugh so I don't cry. Well, that's fair.

Yeah. I, so, but I think we talk about that a lot. Like, things have always been like, you know, it goes up and down. Things have been bad a lot of times. So anyway, Dan Carlin mentioned a person who I had not heard of, and he mentioned mountains of skulls. And I was like, well, I'm in much more of a mountains of skulls vibe right now than I am other things.

So this actually also is in your neck of the woods. It's kind of Persian Empire, Iran, Central Asia related. Have you heard of Timerlane or Timor? This is the other name that goes by. I feel like I should, but I have thoughts. So, Timor, and I'm probably saying that wrong, I'm going to say a lot of things wrong, is a warrior and a conqueror and the ruler of the Timurid Empire,

which is during the 1300s to like 1400 in Central Asia, like Uzbekistan area. Things were really bad. if you were on the wrong side of this man. Like, extraordinarily bad. And I'm going to tell you about it and what he did. And I'm going to give you some, like, a couple of fun examples of when he rated and pillaged and did a bunch of crazy stuff. Cool.

Taylor, real quick. I texted you about this. Listeners, I texted Taylor, like two nights ago, three nights ago, about this show that's on Netflix called Maydays, Ryan Reynolds. Oh, yeah. It's like a funny action. It's a Ryan Reynolds movie, right? Is he playing a Ryan Reynolds in the movie? He's playing himself as he always does.

But it's about, it teased things up in the 1980s around the Cold War. The tension rising and then he's a pilot and whatever. Go see it on Netflix called May Day. But as you're talking, it did remind me of like how. cute that problem felt versus like the direction we're headed today. But maybe they would think the inverse. I don't know. Maybe I'm being like an ageist by thinking that their problems weren't as consequential than our problems.

But I did think it was very cute. I know. It's because we know that it didn't happen. Right. Right. You know, it's like, so like in a hundred years, if there are still people and they'll be like, hey, there was no robot uprising. thing.

Florence did say, and I don't think she fully understands the robots are not in the machine. They don't need to actually be them. They don't need to be physical anymore. They can, like, figure out how to kill us without that. But she said that we would probably be safe because sand would get in the robots' gears, and they wouldn't make it to our house. I like that she's thinking about it. She's not right.

But the fact that she's thinking about it means she could be the whatever, Connor, whatever's name was. Yes. And she's not living in a doom spiral. So that's good. just got the positive attitude about it, which is great. Yeah, no, exactly. Like, that's exactly what I think we've talked about so much. Like, it always seems like something crazy is happening, you know.

And then we can talk about it after, but then, like, when you're in the middle of stuff, which we are in the middle of, like, I was thinking, like, when we first started, we were like, what is chat chupoo-chee? And now we're like, well, we've got 10 years left to live. It's attaching companies now. What do you want to do your next and last 10 years? So I cut you off, but yes. But no, yes, exactly, exactly.

But things would be bad if you heard that Timor was coming to your house. Because he was born in 1320 or 1330s, so we're in the 1300s. And he's not Jenghis Khan's heir, but he considered himself to be. He was distantly related to Jenghis Khan, which we all are, probably. And he is one historian described him as a product of an Islamized and Iranicized society. So he's like taking like the Mongol charge and loot and just siege things. And then also like he's a Muslim and it's starting like that. Those things are happening too. So he was born around modern Uzbekistan. And if you had no idea what that was, let me tell you. If you are looking at a map of like the Middle East up to Central Asia, you will see Iran, Afghanistan and above them is Turkmanistan. And above that is Uzbekistan. it's the hat on top of the Middle East. Yes.

It's right there. So in English, his name is Tamerlane. So the name Timor means iron. And he had a limp. So people would joke, which is dangerous, and call him Timur Elang, which people in which people in English started calling Tamerlane. But it's kind of like a mean name to call him, which means like Timor who limps, basically. So let's call him Timor because that's what that's like nicer.

See, does he know that? I don't know. So he belonged to the Barless dynasty, a turkicized Mongol group. And it's the again, the region around modern Uzbekistan. Jenghis Khan had died, you know, about 100 years before. And as we know, when I listened to King of King of King, was it, what was the name? Was it King of King's No? What was it Jenghis Khan, Dan Carlin, called? it's called something fun.

I'm sorry. What do you call it? Oh, Wrath of the Khans. So you've listening to Rath of the Khans and learning about Jenghis Khan. You were going to think to yourself, which I thought, why are we not all Mongols? Why didn't they win? Because they were like going to win. They were just like attacking and taking over and like, just like insanely vicious force that you could not stop. And the reason, which is the reason that all this shit happens is because his sons were idiots. and they couldn't agree on what they wanted to rule and they couldn't rule together, and it just fell apart, which happens over and over and over and over again.

So that's why there are other things happening. It's not just like the Mongols continuing. So Tamar is born into a royalish line in the area. It's a long, complicated ancestry. Again, he might be distantly related to Mongols. He was a practicing Sunni Muslim. He was relatively wealthy, and he, because of that, he grew up in like a very violent, household and like schooling.

So I feel like we take, I don't know, when you're watching like a fantasy movie or like a Lord of the Rings or whatever, Game of Thrones, there's always like putting kids in like the kids that go into training and playing with swords and stuff, you know. But you're like, that's very violent.

You know, like who are we raising? You're raising people to kill other people, like hand-to-hand combat, kill people. And that's kind of like his life that he was born into. So we started off doing things like when he was a kid, him and some friends, they were like, you know, raid travelers and, like, rob people on the road.

At one point, he tried to steal some sheep from a shepherd, and the shepherd shot him with an arrow, and that hit his right hand. He lost two fingers and his right leg, and that's how he got that limp that got him the nickname Tamerlane. That's a pretty cool way to gain a limp, I would say. Yeah, I mean, like, it could be cooler.

It's not like, oh, I was skiing in veil, and I slipped on a rock. It's like, no, I got shot because I was committing arm theft. That's true. My daughter, Florence, both of her knees have huge bruises on them because she tripped over a pencil at school. And I was like, a big pencil? And she's like, no, a little one. I'm like, so I'm raising children who could not fight wars.

Do you remember the time we had that party at the office and we had the ping pong table and I left for a on ball that was hit by our friend Henry? And I landed on my knees and I had to go to the urgent care and the guys were like laughing and be like, wait, you have a ping pong injury? This was caused by playing ping pong. They laughed at me. I don't remember that. Oh, my God. It's very embarrassing.

That's hilarious. Are you, were you okay? Do you have a limp? I'm okay now. Good. Good, good, good. So, Tomor and his people are going to go around the area. He's a military leader now.

He has a thousand horsemen and they just go around conquering cities and, like, stealing and looting. And that's kind of like his vibe. There are cons, which are like the rulers. The rulers of the time of this area are the Chakati Khan gate, and they're technically the rulers, but he's sort of like, I'll let you all, like, be in charge of the laws and do those things, but I'm going to do the war,

and I'm going to do the conquering, and I'm going to expand this empire. So we could let them stay home and do all of the governmental stuff. He wanted to go out and fight and loot and rob people. He all, his job is officially an emir, but everybody else is like the figurehead, but he's really the guy out there in charge. So in 1370, he is ruling over this area around a city called Samarkand, which is in Uzbekistan, and it is a great middle Central Asia position.

It's like between China and the Middle East and like a good, there's rivers and roads and, you know, a great place to do trade. It was captured, the city of Samarakand was captured by Alexander the Great in 329, by Jenghis Khan in 1220. So it's been through a lot. It's like super beautiful architecture, really historical. Obviously, tons of crises that have happened there because it's like right in the middle. His armies were Mongol and Central Asian, and they would, you know, go around and demand money. And what they would do is they would, if they came to a city, they would, I'll tell you how they did it in some examples, but they would like sack a city and loot it and kill everybody. Except he would kidnap and take back to Smarkand, the artists and the scientists and the scientists.

the poets. So a lot of like really great Islamic art comes from this time period, as well as like historians and astronomers and the city is so beautiful because he has all these architects. So he like is this terrible bloody conquer, but also like a patient of the arts. Yeah, it's a liberal arts major who also like power lifted in college. Yeah. Yeah. So he still must to do that. So a lot of craftsmen and stuff end up in his city. So his city is beautiful and that actually inspired an entire art and like literature period called the Timurid Renaissance. So, you know, it's even though he does all his conquering, he still does all of this, all of this artwork. And then actually one of his, his descendants are going to create the Mughal empire in India and eventually create the Taj Mahal.

So that kind of ties back to sort of we did before, but like his ancestors are going to be very into architecture as well. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So there's that, that's like, I mean, not good to kidnap people, but at least, but that's like the art thing, which is nice. I didn't mean that that before it was cool. I meant the fact that like all this history intertwines with one another and like very meaningful ways is kind of cool. I know. Isn't that cool? So here's some things that he did that are very, very violent as he was looting and expanding his empire.

In 1385, he destroyed a place called Isfazar and the prisoners were cemented into the walls alive. That's like one of the first things that. that he did. During this time, he has a calvary of 100,000 men and horses, and they would ride in a line 10 miles wide and just like destroy, destroy, destroy, destroy, to get like further and further and further out. The ones that conquered a place and like that place would have to help him taxes and all the things, like, have to like conform to whatever he wanted. Your face is like, that's a lot. Well, it's just like the, it goes back to like my prevailing theory with anything society, it is always

at anybody's best interest to try to rise to the top, even if you do not want things that are granted to you by rise to the top, because otherwise, you are the last person in that village when that 10 mile long army goes by, and the last guy in line is like, well, I might as well pillage this poor

guy and, like, steal the last thing he has. Like, you just don't want to be in there in that mix. Yep. Yep. Yep. Um, so he keeps going. In 1387, he invades the city of Isfahan. And I don't know exactly where these cities are, but we're in the same area. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, that's Iran.

Yeah, okay. Where in Iran. So he gets to us fine. They're like, okay, come in, we'll pay you taxes. Whatever, you know, don't kill us. And then they start to get annoyed. They're like, we don't really want to pay those taxes. And he says, cool, I will kill you.

And so when they rebel, he responds by cutting off their heads. And they say that the numbers are anywhere up to 70,000 people were murdered by being decapitated, like being beheaded. And what they did is it created structures from the heads to make people afraid, obviously, that would make me afraid. So they did, like, giant columns and pyramids made out of heads just so that people would like, you know, really just like, can you imagine being your city's burning? And there's like a pile of heads of people you know, like hundreds of thousands, like tens of thousands of heads in a pile. Like in the Bone Temple. Did you watch it yet?

Yes. That's exactly what I was saying. But not people who died just because of zombies. People who died because they got their heads cut off by Timor and his people. Taylor and I have the exact same media diet just so people are aware. We're not fine, but we're hanging out there. So we don't know. So even if 70,000 is exaggerated again, like, who knows?

Like, you know, a thousand heads is too many heads. I say a pile of ten, perhaps. It's too many. Like, I don't want to see any heads. So, and also, I think is so just like also mind-boggling. Like this year, all the massacres in Iran because of the protests, like Wikipedia says anywhere from 5,000 to 36,000 people died. And that was this year. And that's a huge difference.

And we don't know. So how can we possibly know this number from the 1300s? You know, like we don't. But we're just like, whatever it was, it was too many. Right. You know? In 1398, he sacked Delhi in India. also going east over to India.

The army there was the Malu Iqbal, and they had elephants covered in chain mail with poison on the end of their tusks, which is cool and very scary. I think I saw that in 300, too. Yes. So the Indian army is coming with these elephants, and Timor's like, oh, elephants get scared really easily, which we all know from cartoons. and so what he did to scare the elephants, this is insane. He took camels, put a ton of hay on their backs, and set it on fire. So you have burning camels, and he poked them with hot iron sticks so that the camels would run at the elephants, and the elephants would be like,

holy shit, I don't want anything to do with that. And they would turn around and go back and stampede their own people. Taylor, let me ask this, as an aside. What do you think it says about me as a person that you tell me about 70,000 dead people with their... I know you're more sad about the animals. It's just like, why bother the camels? The camels had nothing to do with this. Even though I hate camels and think they're gross.

I hate their humps. It doesn't matter. But they're innocent. Call it a donkey. Who cares? It's just like why... Like, the humans, like, they voted and they took part with things. And they...

Like, humans had some degree of input into the... this animals had been nothing. Whatever. Whatever. Like, they had more of a voice than animals and nobody should hurt animals. And if you do, that is when I put my mask on and start taking out vengeance on the city. Yeah, well, you shouldn't set them on fire and have them run towards other animals. What a day. What a sight. You know, like, that happened in history. There was a guy who was standing behind the elephants, like, ha-ha, my elephants are going to do great. And then all of a sudden, he saw burning camels coming towards him, said, oh, shit. And his elephant turned around and killed them. That was the last thing

that man saw. Well, don't even use the elephants. They have nothing to do with your war. They just want to, like, eat bananas. What do they eat bananas? They eat bananas? They eat apples. They eat apples. I don't know what elephant ate. But, yeah, they just, they don't want, but they're not, they're

gentle creatures. Leave them alone. Leave them alive. Edison hung one. Oh, no, the electric chuted one. Somebody else hung one. The humans are horrible. We need, like, I hope. You know what? I go back. AI should kill us. AI should absolutely kill us and let animals rule the world because we are horrible.

But are they going to destroy the world in a way that animals can't live or will animals be able to live with the robots? Then it will be just like, go by a robot. I think that if they're truly intelligent, super intelligent, they'd be like, these things are harmless. They just want to survive. Humans want to conquer. No animal ever has that instinct whatsoever. We need to raise that. That is the only species that we do not need on this planet. I'm going to join free. please. That's funny.

But, okay, so then Timor takes the elephants back home, because obviously they're his now, and he uses them for construction. They got little construction helmets, and they helped. They got those orange vests, and they lived happy lives as foreman of the big construction projects. Yeah. Keep doing. Okay. In 1401, he sieged Baghdad for 40 days. So he massacred all the people, stole all the money from the treasury.

They raised, like, knocked down, burned everything except the mosques and the schools. And then every soldier was said to have to bring him a head. So he just loved heads. I don't know. I think they're gross. I don't want a pile of them. But he loved heads. He wanted more of them.

So more piles of heads. Only one out of 100 people in Baghdad survived. Everyone that was left was sold in slavery. So there was like no one left. Everybody was gone. During this time, he met a very famous historian who would write about it later named Ibn Kaldun, which is interesting because it's just like a someone who was like job as a document history is here. It's like very important part of history.

Like the fuck is going on. That was crazy. In 1402, so we just like, this is just nonstop. So 1401 is Baghdad. 1402 is the Battle of Ankara and Kara. And there is two armies. His army, he has about 140,000 people in his army. Mostly cavalry, 32 war elephants.

And then he is fighting against Sultan Biazid, the first, whose nickname is the Thunderbolt, which is cool. And he has 85,000 people, zero elephants. So the way that they were, like, battling head to head. And the way that Timor wins is by redirecting water from a reservoir to his size. die so the Ottomans don't have any water. It's pretty smart. Which is pretty smart. So Sultan, Bayezid, and his folks have no water.

They're exhausted. And then they lose. And it's interesting because Sultan Baezid is the only time in Ottoman history that a Sultan was ever captured, ever. And the rumor, which probably isn't true, probably is like a historical, fun thing to say, was that he was kept in a cage and Timur used him as like a footstool. And he died three months later. Like he definitely died three months later.

but he, you know, what he was doing during that time, whether he was in a cage that was pulled around or like in a hole or whatever. But he died. And then, of course, as far as the Ottoman Empire goes, when the Sultan Biazid was killed, his sons started a civil war. And that helped end the Ottoman Empire because sons cannot do it. Right. And then a ton of people also deserted the Ottoman army to join the other army too, because why wouldn't you? In 1410, he seized Aleppo through Armenia and Georgia. And he, like a 15th century historian named Abd al-Ramon, El Bastami, said that, you know, he had every scoundrel and trickster and heresy and horror.

He shedded blood and pillaged. And there's also, obviously during this, there's so much mass sexual assaults and like very bad things happening. Obviously. Obviously. they killed in that one in Aleppo up to 200,000 people, heads rolling everywhere. And again, he saved the artists and the scholars and sent them back home to his town to make that town beautiful and make everybody they're smart. So he's doing that. He's like in his 50s.

Now he's older. He's in his 60s. He's 68 years old. And he wants to conquer China. So he's like, we're going to go even further east. We have this area. So if you look at a map of like what the, what his empire was. he conquered Persia, he invaded India, he destroyed Baghdad, he taken Damascus, he, you know, had fought against the Ottomans.

Right now, if you smack it over a map, it's like Uzbekistan, which was where his capital of Samarican is, that's the capital, parts of Iran, including Hormuz, which some of us just learned about on a map. Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, northern India, Turkey, the Caucasus, and then more Central Asian nations like Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Kragistan, Kazakhstan, all that area. So it was like a huge, huge part of that area. So he's like, I'm going to go into the Ming dynasty because it has connections through everything. So he's going to go east. And he contacts some surviving Mongols that has them, have them join him.

They're a little bit like, what the hell just happened? Like we were on top of the world and we're not, we're not like what's going on. So they like join him to go east. And then I hate to say, I told you so, but you're not supposed to freaking do that. And I have a quote from the princess bride. to share with you, where he says, you fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is never get involved

in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this, never going against a Sicilian when death is on the line. But the point is, don't go to Asia, don't have a land war in Asia. It's never going to work. And it did not work because he went to Asia and it was cold, as it always is. And he died of illness on February 17th or 18th on 1405. his grandson was there and he said let's go home so everybody went home people he didn't continue

after he died they were like yeah no we're not gonna we're not going to we're not going to continue this is crazy so while this is happening he obviously had a family he had guess how many wives he had it's got to be over a hundred right it's like only 43 oh okay I don't know 43 people but he 43 wives um which is too many um during his lifetime he appointed two heirs his first son, Jahan Jihir, he died in 1373 of an illness. Then he's appointed his grandson, Muhammad Sultan, who died from wounds in 1403. And then when Timor died himself, he had appointed Muhammad's son Pierre Mohammed as his successor. But of course, no one could agree and everybody fought each other. And then actually Timur's youngest son became his successor in 1409. So a couple

years after he died, like they finally figured it out. But there was a lot of like bloodshed. I'm sure I'm between that. So then it just like continued. And then like a bunch of happens and at all that but that was like his lifetime and some of like the big battles that he was in to ground us a little bit in history um this is the this is like the late 1300s the 1400s it is the end of the middle ages in europe so he like spoke to spanish kings um he got a letter from charles of six of france asking him to trade so like he's you know talking to to to europe because i recognizing him as like a powerhouse in central as 1381, which is like around the time that he was doing some of his like beginning sieges and stuff is the peasants revolt in London and Chaucer was there.

So like that's happening in England while this is happening in the Middle East. So in the end, the Central Asia where he was especially flourished, especially like the Sunni Muslim groups there, other people were less happy because they were destroyed. but especially at the Capitol, we've got all this stuff. Samarkand in Uzbekistan is a UNESCO heritage site because it's been through so much and has so much beautiful art and architecture because of this.

This is really interesting because I learned a lot that actually I can crossroads my own personal life here. Two things. Number one. I had a discussion with my parents last week when I was in Dallas around our language.

The Persian. language, the Farsi language, because there's an element of the language that I despise, and I hope is ridden off of the world stage at some point, which is this aspect of our culture that is all about appeasement. It is all about, like, being overly flourishing of grace and kindness to the point when it is, it's like, I had this, like, joke because I've asked my parents, Like, how many different ways can you, like, tell someone in Farsi that you are beneath them? And they were, like, listing it off. It was, like, it, like, went on for, like, 20 minutes of all the ways that we find ways to diminish ourselves in the eyes of others to show grace and respect to the counterparty we're talking to.

And I was like, that cannot be good for the psyche. Yeah. If everything you think is framed in that language. And so I went to Chad GBT, our future overlords, who we love and respect, if you're listening. And I asked, like, why is it that this is such a dominant part of our language and our culture that we have to bring ourselves down in almost any situation? It's something like a boss subordinates. It's any situation, wherever you're talking to. Can I ask is it, and that would be like even like man to man?

mostly man to man you would never like a man would never do that to a woman because it would seem like you're putting yourself like it would seem suspicious to do that with a woman whereas men to men always do it to each other like without any payoff whatsoever it's just like just there so I got to chat to BT and I asked this question

and I was like why was this a part of the culture and it didn't go to tomorrow about like this whole history just described what would have went into was that based on how the language came about it came about through like royal warlord channels which this guy from when I was looking up while you were talking he's the source of it where he segmented off the Persian language is the royal cancillary language of his empire but what that essentially meant is that if you're are a normal person, you are deferring because your life, you and your family's life depends

on deferment to the other side to even survive. Like the language had no other barriers to break through other than pure appeasement. And that's why it became the way it currently is today is starting with this guy, frankly, which is like fascinating. It's like, it's tied together like literally a discussion I had last week around this and what I've been like kind of mulling on. anyways but the other thing the second thing came up was obviously you know i watched a lot of like ufc fighting and like there's this one part of the world called daggersand where the ufc fighters there are just like animals they were just absolute animals like they are not this is not like you know like raised by like a mom who beat that like this is no these are like

structured russian muslims living in the caucus mountains and they are like our way of life is war. So fighting what we do in the UFC, this is like what kids do. This is the ancestors of these people and that's what they do. Yes. Yeah. It's like an ongoing meeting with this like rabbit hole with UFC stuff

where it's like anytime somebody says that the kids being weird or doing something weird or being whatever, they'll send a diagnosis for three years. Don't talk to them. Go get them back. It'll be fine. Yeah. You'll get someone back.

It is fascinating, though. It does sound very rude in this. Look at me. I was reading your mind. And what are your heart? Yeah. Yeah. The language thing really, really blew my mind

because literally it says, like, who was the source of that? Like he specifically chose Persian as the Royal Horse language. And I'm like, of course, if this is the guy, the guy who, like, you need to bring heads to, You're not going to be like, hey, man, I don't know what happened.

You'd be like, sir, with your grace and honor, with all deferment to the love that I have with you. But for nothing out. Like, of course you would defer to that language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That explains that. Interesting. That's cool.

I have more. I have a little bit more. Oh, sorry. Sorry. No. It's later because guess what there are. There also is a curse. You know why?

Yay. Because people tried to dig them up. Don't do that. So in 1740, Nadir Shah, who was the founder of the Astrid dynasty in Iran, tried to steal his sarcophagus because he wanted it. I don't know. And it broke in the middle of stealing it. So he took a piece of it and left. Then his son got super duper sick.

And people were like, dude, you got to put that piece back. So he went back, put the piece back, and then his son got better. So they're like, okay, nobody touch it. So then guess who touches it? I'll tell you. The Soviets, guess what day they touch it? On June 20th, 1941, because they have nothing fucking better to do, they open up his tomb, and they opened up to his tomb in Uzbekistan.

And the day before, possibly, three men in a tea house came up to them, and I imagine it was like very smoky, and they were like wearing robes. And they said, don't open that tomb. It's cursed. And they were like, they gave us a letter that said, don't open that tomb. But they did it anyway. And guess what happened two days later? The Nazis invaded. so they open up this tomb two days later the nazis invade the soviet union and then

Stalin finds out he says put that back close it up what the fuck wrong with you and so they go back put everything back close it up and then a few weeks later they win the battle of stolengrad which they attribute some people attributed to breaking the curse by putting everything back that's all Don't touch it. In that dynamic, I want neither to win the Nazis or the USSR. No, I know. But that was like, that was before the world was over, the war was over. So we still really want to go through this.

You know, we don't want, you know, whatever. I also just, we don't want anyone to open any tombs because, I mean, or why not? I don't know. Actually, I could go either way. Because what if the, what if opening a tomb opens up a star gate? Remember we talked about that? Remember on the daily show? Remember on the daily show, they were like, well, the reason that we're invading Iran is because Iran has a stargate.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So if there's a Stargate there, then yes. We're good. We're justified. For some reason, it's ancient Egypt and aliens in the Stargate. I don't know. 100%. I can't remember what happens.

Looking at this guy's tomb online right now, it's also really rough because you remember how big people were back then. And you're like, this guy was probably soaking wet 120 pounds in like 5'2. 100%. He's the most terrifying guy in the world. And he had that limp and he would just like limp over and it's not about on you. But man, everything there is so his tomb is beautiful.

Yeah, it is a really, really, like I did not expect it to look like that. Yeah. Yeah, definitely like reminds you of the Taj Mahal because it has like the columns and the thing and all of that. So yeah, that's cool. My number one warlord is today and forever always will be. Caldrago. Okay.

Who's that? It's from me. I'm going to wait to you look it up and then feel foolish for asking me that question. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. There we go.

I know who that is now. There's so much art to consume. I can't do everything. Did you really never watch Game of Thrones? You know, I watched a little bit of it, but you know me and my white man

face blindness. I just can't tell the difference United Characters. He's Hawaiian. He's not, well, not him. Obviously, I know who James Moe is, but I'm saying that, like, I didn't, I didn't get that far. It's a for two seasons. Anyways, whatever.

I didn't get that far. I got maybe, like, two episodes in, and I was like, okay. I'll let you out of this one. I'm sure I would like it. I, like, tried, but I just didn't. It was a long time ago. Maybe now that, like, I watch things with captions. It may be easier for me.

Wait, you do that, too. I do that, too. I think everyone does. I think we're old. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Juan's brother is here and we were like, sometimes I talk to someone whose eyesight is actually also getting worse every single day

because you're going crazy. You're like, oh, I could see that yesterday and today I cannot. Taylor, earlier this week or this weekend, I actually did one of these numbers. You can't, listeners, you can't see this. But I'm taking my glasses. Oh, no, 100%. I'm taking my glasses, like I'm pulling them forward.

like with my hands and I'm like using it my arms to physically adjust where I'm seeing. What are we getting? And then you're like using them as like a magnifying glass kind of because you're like, what am I doing? What is it? Not good. Yep. That was fun.

I am dying to know why you find this topic. Well, honestly, Dan Carlin mentioned Tamerland in his day in Mountain of Skulls. And I was like, I want to know more about a skull mom. So I did that. That was it. That's great. It's also a good reminder that this is not the worst time to be alive.

Exactly. But it probably will be soon. But it probably will be soon. Also relative, like, you know, if you were, like, in Baghdad while you were, like, getting looted and murdered and assaulted, and, like, yes, that's maybe one of the worst things that can happen. But I don't know. Who knows what the robot?

are going to do to us. Yeah. Yeah, we're heading to uncharted territory, which will be fun or terrible. But no, thank you for sharing that. I learned a lot, and it actually overlapped really cleanly with a personal curiosity that I was diving into a week ago, and now I know what the root source of it is financially. We'll get to all of Persian history someday. There's a lot there.

There's a lot there. Well, I don't know. But yeah. Cool. I do have a listener mail for you ask. So much stuff happened. Wait, to talk about,

so we donated to the Barango Basin-wide Foundation, which is a foundation in my area that helps nonprofits. And our friend Shannon asked me if we could donate. So we did. And what we donated was I 3D printed, some cool stuff. A 3-D printed a Marie Antoinette, a Socrates, and then like that Medusa head that you requested.

And in like a marble 3D print. And they look really cool. And it was very fun. And they've been. I don't have the Medusa had I had this one. Yeah. But so that was really fun. Thank you, Shannon, for that.

Shannon also sent us an email about Katrina. So thank you for that as well. I think I read that after I did the Katrina episode. But thank you. And then a new person that had never heard from before. Leanne H., thank you for reaching out. She gave us some ideas via Facebook. So thank you.

I will do those soon. I will do another shout out. Daniel Shepard, long time listener, wrote in saying, this is a text message he sent me saying New Orleans is hands down my favorite city to visit. It's an amazing place. After I said that I have no interest in visiting and I said, I know I know, I'm being an outlier here.

I'll go. It's just lower up my priority list. And he goes, well, when you do, let me know and I'm going to send you my list of favorite places. So thank you, Daniel. And I know that I am wrong. It's okay. I have opinions. I think, you know, you'll like it. You like eating the food.

The coffee's very thick. which is kind of nice sometimes. I do like that. You know, you're like, how did you even get thick? I don't know. What isn't it? I'm not sure. It's good.

Cool. Thank you. On that note, everyone who's listening, please write to us at Dumafell pot at jima.com. We love getting a listener mail. Find us on the social at Dumafell pot on all the different socials, which Taylor is always posting about. And, like I said, at the top of the episode, If you are into the Ryan Reynolds show May Day on Netflix,

he is flying an SR-71 Blackbird. We did a whole episode about the lore surrounding the SR-71 Blackbird. So find that, listen to it. That might be a re-release that is coming up soon, but take a listen if you're into that. I will be release it, yeah. I think that's all I got, Taylor. Cool. I think me too.

Sweet. We're going to cut off there. Thanks all.