Doug Loves Movies - Abbi Crutchfield, Jonah Ray and Julieanne Smolinski guest

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Doug welcomes Abbi Crutchfield, Jonah Ray and Julieanne Smolinski to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love massive dumps. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again from Will This Nightmare Ever End? with another Holmes Alone edition. It's Sunday, November 29th, 2020. And my guests today are Abby Crutchfield, Julianne Spilitsky, and Jonah Ray. Yay! Hooray! Let's meet them individually, starting with our first time guest two first time guests on the show let's do them in alphabetical order starting with new york comedy phenom uh you know her as

curly comedy on twitter it's abby crutchfield hello hey doug thanks for having me on thanks for doing this i I really appreciate it. I've been enjoying your tweets for a while. And then, you know, you. Yeah, I've enjoyed your work as well. I did the DM slide to see if you'd be interested in participating in this. And I'm very happy to hear that you were. No pictures, just text. Imagine my disappointment. Thanks for having me. Sorry about that. Also joining us today for another first timer, writer on many TV shows

including Grace and Frankie and Blue Monday. It's a sad show to me no black monday and the i mean you had me at your twitter handle because she's boobs radley on twitter okay it doesn't get any better than that it's julianne smolinski everybody hey how's it going hi guys thank you for being here thank you so much for having me this was the best dm slide i've ever gotten well uh this next dude is no stranger to my uh to my dms because we've been dming each other for i don't know how many years now, and he's got a new podcast that's part of the Misfit Toys Collective, and he's going to tell us all about it. It's Jonah Ray. Hey, Jonah.

Hey, Doug. Thanks for having me on. You're welcome. What's your new podcast called? It's called Let Me Watch Your Movie With You. I wanted to come up with a really clunky name because that stuff makes me laugh. But it's an interview podcast that's also a commentary track. So over Zoom, I'll watch a film from either the director or an actor in it or a writer. But we watch the movie together and I ask them questions about the movie. So if you were if you wanted to, you could sync up the podcast while watching the movie. So it's like a commentary track, which I miss quite a bit because I don't really get DVDs anymore. And so it's kind of a selfish endeavor because, you know, I want to make more movies and films and I want to learn about it.

But I don't want to pay for a masterclass subscription. So I figured this is a good way of doing it. But we've had some great people. We had Alex Winter, who plays Bill S. Preston Esquire. We watched Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Mick Garris, we watched his first film, Critters 2. And we got Felicia Day coming up on a movie we did together called Pooka Lives. So it's been a lot of fun.

And it's also been really informative. That sounds great. And it sounds to me too, that especially if someone's, you know, even remotely familiar with any title that you're talking about, they could just listen. They don't necessarily have to throw the movie on.

Yeah, you don't have to. It's a, you could listen to it. I know some people have been listening to it without watching the movie, just because, you know, we try to, even if like we're talking about something like specific in the movie, we're kind of already we're describing it. And it's not that it's you're going to be totally out of the loop. It's not, you know, like you're you're going to hear some silence.

Then someone going like that's got to hurt, you know, or something like that. It's just kind of a jumping off point for, you know, stories and stuff like that. And you get to hear a lot of just cool, like production stuff and stories around the film. Yeah. It sounds awesome. And you know, if I had, you know, I was just going to say if I had more time, but that's kind of, you can't really say that these days. You could just say you won't get around to it. I don't, I won't.

I don't want want i'm not doing that yeah yeah exactly yeah because that's what people need right now is a as a you know 90 minute plus podcast to listen to um yeah but also i want to have you on doug i want to uh i want to watch uh one of the movies you were uh i want to watch what was it uh you were in nightmare on elm street two one well i was in the um you know the the classic uh nightmare on elm street the misunderstood nightmare on elm street freddy's revenge which was part two yes that's great there's a great documentary on that one on shutter called uh uh scream queen about the actor the lead actor in that but we should have you on and we could, we could, we could talk about your, cause you're in the movie. It's true. I am, but I, it's just my, like my wrists.

I was the, I was a stand in on the movie. So like, the scene where the gym coach gets, you know, attacked after hours by all of his gym equipment, whenever there's closeups of his, like, there's a closeup of his hand there's a close-up of his hand trying to trying to close a lock on i can see it now i just looked it up that's so funny i'm looking at your wrist yeah that's uh whenever there's close-ups it's not it's not the guy it's me and uh i was good a good 30 years younger than him when the scenes were shot nobody cared

i i think you just did the episode yeah there i'll just pop that on that might be it yeah i'm just gonna loop that i'm gonna loop doug saying that for 90 minutes over the movie this is the strangest version of his podcast yeah you don't have to put a movie on to watch uh or to listen to doug loves movies but you know might be a fun way to multitask put on any movie that we might talk about i've been doing the box office report uh every week because i find it very interesting how you know that they're still making box office reports even though it's mostly drive-ins and socially distanced movie theaters in weird parts of the country where they think things should be open. And all I'll say is that the new Croods movie is really taking advantage of the marketplace because children are clearly making their parents take them to the drive-in to see the Croods.

It's the number one movie. It's made $9.7 million this weekend. And in second place is Freaky making less than a million. So if you've got an animated film ready to go, this is the, I think this is the time to unleash it. That was one of those, those things I thought there was already a crude's too so that's how much impact these movies are having in my life i see ads for it when i play words with friends but i'm not familiar with the crude i don't know what you call anthology well they're a bunch of uh it's cave people i think it's kind of a Flintstones riff.

I see. The ads for this Croods 2 make it look like it's all about some sloths. And that the Croods themselves are taking a backseat to these damn sloths. Is it a crossover movie with the Croods meet the sloth, John Leguizamo from Ice Age? From Ice Age? It doesn't look like it. No, I'm looking at pictures.

This is a much cuter looking sloth than the one he plays. He's supposed to be a sloth in the Ice Age movies? These are kind of, they're sort of sexier sloths in this one. He's like a, he's kind of like an ugly sloth. And I don't know how to describe it in any other way that these are, these are better looking sloths than the Ice Age movies. Just describe it slowly, please. You already, you hooked him in.

Sloth curves. Sloth from Ice Age. I don't know if he's a sloth. He never looked like, Just describe it slowly, please. You already, you hooked him in. Sloth from Ice Age. I don't know if he's a sloth. He never looked like, he always looked like a ferret to me. Sid. Yeah, I guess he's a sloth. Yeah, but he doesn't, John Leguizamo doesn't talk and move slow. He's real spazzy.

I think that was the joke. I think that was the thing. Oh, it's a hyperactive sloth. That's fun. I got to revisit those Ice Age age movies i wrote them off they were the crudes of our time yeah he looks like a hammerhead shark compared to these crude slots my goodness they come a long way in sloth technology they really uh slots can be a lot of have a lot of different looks, I guess. So that's the box office report. Now let's talk about,

I've been asking people to recommend movies that are, you know, comforting or distracting or, you know, whatever it is you're looking for in a movie lately. Does it, can anybody recommend something for my listeners to check out i gotta uh i gotta say uh a weird comfort movie for me has been uh zodiac wow and it that's not like a joke or anything it's like uh it's got very predictable rhythms uh it's a different time so you don't feel like you're weirded out by everybody not wearing masks because you can tell you know it's supposed to be the 70s but kind of anything period where you're not like shaken by the fact that people are going to restaurants or anything because you know that it's not the now time but even period pieces shot today i'm like

i hope they had good ppe on set you, you're like thinking real hard about it. Yeah. Yeah. I get that because it does have like a, it doesn't get too loud. Nice. It's yeah. Even, even when someone was being no spoilers, you know, about a serial killer, even when there's a person being stabbed to death,

it's still a pretty kind of low key movie, but it's got like a good it's got like a kind of good build to it. It's got a it's got a concrete beginning, middle and end. You know, it's not going to stress you out. I think it's relaxing to watch Jake Gyllenhaal try to figure out a puzzle. Yes, exactly. It's literally watching. Yeah. Somebody like doing word games for two and a half hours.

It's the ASMR of movies. Yeah. And then it's got some cool, it's got some cool like kind of a psychedelic seventies music. It does, but it's also entirely like shot in that blue filter that, that Fincher loves so much that it's just, you know, the, the whole thing never gets warmer than like, you know, like a teal. It's got a nice office fluorescent vibe. Yeah, exactly.

It's all very calming. I'm really getting into Zodiac as a good pandemic choice. I've been watching, it's one of my, it's a cover movie I go to, but I'll go to American Splendor just because it's like, I want to see someone that's, that handles things terribly. Yeah. And that's, that's Harvey Pekar. And it's just, there's just the movie and like the music in it, all the jazz and stuff like that.

And there's kind of way it trots along where it's like, it's like everyone's grumpy and ugly and it's, but it's a feel good movie. I really love it. Yeah. Talk about ASMR, the Cleveland accent, man. Yeah. Put a baby to sleep. I remember the first time watching it going like, Oh wow.

Judah Freelander's in this. And then seeing his, his version of, you know, Toby Radloff and going like, wow, Judah's going kind of big with this guy and then i saw an actual clip of toby radloff i was like oh if anything judah played it down yeah yeah it's a really uh it's a strangely subtle performance considering how what a big character that guy was and i i just never got over it was like a two years in a row where I thought Paul Giamatti should have not only been nominated, but probably win Best Actor for American Splendor and then for Sideways. And he wasn't nominated for either.

I can't believe he wasn't nominated for Sideways because that's where I first heard about him. I thought he had some kind of nod. Maybe it was a different award. But that's another one. I mean, Sideways definitely has some like kind of nod. Maybe it was a different award. But that's another one. I mean, Sideways definitely has some like kind of tense and weird situations in it, but it's also just a lot of hanging out, talking about wine. That's a good comfort movie. I mean, I think that that's one that I'm going to watch again now that you bring it up.

Another one where nothing too big happens. It's strangely comforting when Thomas Hayden Church gets hit in the face with a motorcycle that was also where I saw Sandra Oh for the first time too yeah that's right it's a lot of firsts for that one if we're talking about Giamatti comfort

movies also Safe Men I think is a great movie that is a comfort to watch and it's's like, it's low stakes. It's a low stakes mob movie. And if everyone seems Safe Men, I think it's a fantastic film. Wow, like around when did that come out? Oh, geez.

I can't, I don't know if it was like, no, it's like late nineties or early 2000s. It was mid 2000s. I'm looking up the, 1999. Steve Zahn and Sam Rockwell. Oh, oh man. Those are like and Sam Rockwell. Oh, man. Those are like human macaroni and cheese there. Yeah.

And there's a monologue in it. There's a monologue in it by Harvey Fierstein that's just so incredible. But he plays like, you know, he's part of jewish mafia uh in rhode island and it's this is real just low stakes small uh mob movie and i love it too it looks like mark ruffalo's in it that's right mark ruffalo has a great great this is like the greatest cast of all time it's great it's a great movie hush hush please my movie milk more milk is oh these are dogs barking quiet guys is, um, when Harry met Sally only because it's the time of year. Like I always have to watch it around this time of year.

It takes a place during fall, right? Yeah. It takes place the fall winter through a course of a year ends with new year's Eve. So it's got all the holidays in there. If you want them minus Thanksgiving, you don't have to worry about that. There's no family in it. minus Thanksgiving. You don't have to worry about that. There's no family in it. It's just 30 somethings being 30 something. And then I recently ran into, you ever see like really wonky apps that are probably very underpopulated that you watch that, but they'll suggest the one movie from the eighties or nineties that you haven't seen. So I think my app is called, it's not, maybe it's Tubi. Maybe it's not Tubi. Mubi? M-U-B-I? No, there's T-U-B-I, but I don't think this one's it.

And it's not M-U-B-I. But anyway, it recommended Sliver, which I had not seen. I had only heard about and always thought it was scandalous. So now I watch it and through the lenses, through the eyes of an adult, it's, I don't know, cool. Sounds like a post-Sex, Lies, and Videotape, like, sexy movie, right? Exactly. It was supposed to be, for sure.

It was very suggestive, but without showing everything, because it's not, you know. Because it's not basic instinct. I forget who wrote an article about, like, the death of the erotic thriller because of the easy access to pornography. Exactly. I'm guessing that article was written by Joel Esterhaz. While he was yelling about cigarettes. I just never, why is it called sliver? Is there like an explanation? I don't, I haven't gotten there yet.

I only am two thirds through and then crashed, but I think it's because she's being spied on within her apartment and so there it's as if you're looking through a sliver in the in the wall but really it's cameras okay they thought keyhole was too horny yeah it was too explicit keyhole anyway so i was surprised by that just to like you know talk about retro films otherwise if you want like classic that everybody has already seen and then it's Harry Met Sally for me yeah I think

that that movie is getting a lot of plays by people just to you know just for the whole nostalgia of you know whenever the greatest dead couple of all time Carrie Fisher and Bruno I know yes and bring them. Oh, that's right. Yes.

And bring them back. Golly. I hate that now when you have to watch movies and be like, oh, they're dead now. Yeah. That's why I start with black and white films. I don't watch anything past 1930. Yeah. I don't want to be sad.

I like watching. I don't want some of these people to be alive. I want all of them to be dead. That's why I love the uh black and white return of the living dead or a night of the living dead because even the zombies are probably dead ironically yeah and so everybody can only cheat death once barbara's still alive barbara from the original night is alive i saw her at a con a horror con a year or so ago oh cool yeah who i can't remember her name,

but she played Barbara in the original. Oh, I see. Okay. How old is she? She must be way up there. I think so. She was just an elderly lady

in front of a banner that had the picture from the lady from Night of the Living Dead. So I'm assuming it was her and not just like a friend of hers telling stories. Oh my goodness. Imagine her friend has been posing as her at these conventions.

Just for the fame. Yeah. Somebody wants some attention that's old. Should just say there's some old, you know, actress that was, you know, popular when she was young and go out on the signing circuit. Yeah. What a great con. It's a good film, too. And and then at the end they're exposed by one diehard fan i feel like we just we just pitched a sam rockwell movie right there yeah i'm sure he's looking for projects right now he was going to be in a revival of american buffalo on broadway oh wow i was was with Lawrence Fishburne and Darren Chris. Wow.

It's just a three. If you do a David Mamet play, though, now, aren't you worried that David Mamet's going to show up? And just sit there with David Mamet face staring at you the whole time. Yeah, I mean, isn't that kind of a danger? He's an intimidating dude. He's a terrifying dude.

Yeah, if you know his work. Yeah, that's a terrifying dude yeah if you know his work yeah that's right um but they you know got uh shut down because of the pandemic and at first they were saying well we're rehearsing anyway over zoom or you know we're going to be ready when this thing's over and now i'm just like well they can't possibly be rehearsing that play still until unless they're doing mammoth in the park all the people who are gonna go see the croods too last weekend could also go see american buffalo yeah there's probably a lot of crossover there definitely you know it's another animal thing but buffaloes aren't nearly as cute as sloths in the world of animation.

Well, those are some great recommendations. And those movies will give people a lot of comfort and very, very strange double bills if they pick any two of those. And that's what we need right now is double features because people, people like to just sit and not, not worry about what's going on um want to play some games yeah all right let's play some games we're going to start with uh something that i've been playing lately called so and so and the something something and that's a play on titles along the lines of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

There's just been a lot of titles over the years where it's a character's name and then something about them, something revealed, something's revealed about them in the title. And I've made up those kind of titles for movies that did not have so i will uh go to you one at a time we'll do this uh first part first bit in uh alphabetical order so we'll start with abby and we'll go to jonah and then julianne and um oh wow it's alphabetical by first name as well that usually doesn't work out that way um and i will so we'll start with abby i'll tell you my made-up title and you tell me

what movie you think it is if you can't think of it or guess the right title then it'll move to jonah and then uh julianne everybody will have a shot at it. And if nobody gets it, we'll just move on to the next one. Without ever answering it. I'll never say what it was. Okay. People love cliffhangers in podcast games. You got to leave them wanting more. Yeah.

So this first one, are you ready, Abby? Let's do it. What movie would have, would it work if the title had been Reverend Scott and the Crazy Cruise? Oh, hmm. It wouldn't be, but I guess it's going to be Overboard, but I don't think that's quite it. Yeah, I don't think Kurt Russell was a... He doesn't play a reverend in that there's no scott there's just there's just ocean that's the commonality but you've described and

movie i picked it's not a cruise all right now wait but but i have a question even though i answered incorrectly and it's not my turn anymore um is the movie i'm trying to guess a something something in the some some such or is it just it could be a movie like i said like just yeah no it'll be a movie with like a just a regular title that gotcha okay cool i've turned into one of these that you've turned into it all right okay you will say after what you find out you'll go well doug's title is better that's what they should have gone with reverend scott in the cruise what do you think reverend scott in the crazy cruises jonah i like i really i've been racking my brain i don't know i want to hope that there is a a reverend um

in titanic because i'd love to refer to the titanic as a cruise. I don't recall any religious figures really in Titanic. That's why it went down. That's why it happened. Yeah, God was not there with them. Yeah, I can't think of anybody that, you know, they usually have that kind of character in a movie full of passengers like that. Have you guys ever been on the road and i don't even know where you'd have to drive through maybe nashville but there is a just it's

yeah it's near dollywood and it's like um an inflatable titanic and it's an attraction that you can see it still looks too soon it looks like it's like titanic fun park but it's just do they only inflate it partially yeah i, it does seem to come out of the ground or like be halfway sunken into the ground. It's a very strange thing to see. There's a very long street that leads into Dollywood. Yes. That is extremely entertaining because it's all that kind of stuff.

It's all tourist trappy, like miniature golf courses. Christmas town. Yeah. And there's like, you know, one place has like the world's smartest pig and that kind of stuff. And it's very entertaining. But the one that stands out is the Titanic. It just looks wrong there. Everything else is so happy and whimsical.

And then it's like, and this tragedy. Yeah. Let's have some fun with it uh so no gas from jonah yeah sorry that's okay uh julianne what do you think i think i know this one because i think this is the movie that my mom showed me right before i went on the disney cruise with my new stepmother uh i think you're talking about the poseidon adventure that is correct wow great job why did you have to watch that i don't know about a sinking boat i don't know the remake uh was called just poseidon with and that did have kurt russell in it so you were really close yeah you

were very close close um but i don't know if he's a reverend in that one but gene hackman he's not has the little collar and everything and even at one point has a monologue where he's very angry with god because this cruise ship flipped over and they're all gonna die oh wow yeah but it is not all of them die it is not a good uh it's not a good pre-cruise ship uh movie viewing experience no no not a feel-good film. Not a good adventure. They've heard enough on their own. Even funny that they call it an adventure. Does it count as an adventure if you're just a regular passenger and you have this whole

situation foist upon you? It's more of a Poseidon harrowing ordeal. Yeah, a Poseidon tragedy. Yeah. It was the 70s, so know, it was the 70s. So, hey, let's call it an adventure. Get the kids in there to watch Shelley Winters die.

All right. So Julianne is on the board with one point. We'll go back to Abby with the next title. Yes. What movie could have been called Charles Van Doren and the Sham Show? I don't think I'm going to even be close. Charles Van Doren, that name and the Sham Show. Sounds like you're talking like a 70s film, which I know very few titles.

Charles, let's say Home Alone. Famous 70s film. Uh, Charles, um, let's say Home Alone. That's incorrect. Okay. Yeah. Jonah, what do you think? I'm, I'm, I'm really bad at this game. I thought I was so excited because I was like, this is such a great idea for a game. And I, I can't, I can't think of anything.

I like the sham show comes to mind. I know. Yeah. for a game and I can't think of anything. The Sham Show comes to mind. I bet I know. It feels like Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, but I don't think Charles Van Doren, that name's nowhere in there, but Sham Show sounds like that, so I don't know. Argo? Great guess. Incorrect.

Julianne? I want to say Quiz Show? Yes. That's what I was going to say. When you say Confessions, I was like, oh, Quiz Show. Yeah, Quiz Show. Because Sham Show sounds like it could have been the title of the movie. Yes. It was a better title.

More interesting. It was supposed to be called More Like Sham Show. And they're like, it's too busy. More Like Sham Show. It's too much. Yeah, Charles Van Doren was the real-life figure who, because he was good-looking and audiences liked him, they let him win on the quiz show.

You know, they let him keep coming back as the champion by feeding him answers. And that, of course, led to game shows are all very, very strictly regulated now ever since that happened. With Mr. Mile High, Ralph Fiennes. Wait, why is he called that? Oh, there was a pretty big gossip item maybe about 10, 15 years ago where he romanced a stewardess mid-flight.

And joined the Mile High Club. I've never understood that concept, how it's even possible in the size of those restrooms. Call Ray Fines and ask him. I will. Why didn't I think of that? Why do they call it a club? Are there dues?

Where do you... Can you get kicked out? It takes so much work to get in. All right. So Julianne's running work to get in. All right. So Julianne's running away with this thing. Dang it. Sorry, guys. Hey, has anybody seen this new series on HBO Max,

The Flight Attendant? Speaking of Mile High Club? No. Is that the serious Kaley Cuoco? I don't know how serious it's supposed to be. I haven't seen it yet. But it's just a show that's brand new. And I just, I'm not,

it's weird how now sometimes things will come out and you just, there's no, you know, unless it trends on Twitter or something, you just don't really, you're not hearing the buzz on anything. Is it a TV adaptation of Gwyneth Paltrow's Life on Top? I don't think that's what that was called, but no. The View from the Top.

The View from the Top, shit, yeah. I read that book. Richard Ayoade wrote a whole book, which is a dissertation like him trying to do a serious dissertation on that movie. It's ridiculous. It's very funny. You can't even bring up yourself and get them

right, Jonah. I know, right? Anyway, listen to my movie podcast. I'm the guy going, oh, that's that guy. Yeah, we know what the commentary's going to be now. I'm loving this game now because it's going to be Abby and Jonah take

a crack at it and then Julianne gets it. No, no. This is just a warm-up round. I'm really tempted to Google now just to get it right, but I'm not. Don't do it. But if you do, don't admit to having done it.

We got to get a commission in here. Get some regulations. I just want credit for not doing something i'm not supposed to do anyway abby what movie should be called henry hill and the murderous mob henry or hank hill and the murderous mob i I really was hoping you were going to pick something that was Harry and the Hendersons. And this doesn't sound like that's going to fit into that. Cause I was trying to predict what you would pick Henry Hill and the murderous mob who murders.

There's a mob and beauty and the beast. I think that's what you're thinking of. No, darn it. Johnny, you got into this one i don't think i do oh my god you guys is a cartoon character right so do they make a movie of his show i'm just i think my my confidence is shot oh i'm sorry now my brain can't i won't i'll stop trash talking everybody then that's not then you're just quick like that i'm just in everybody's head i guess yeah i don't respond well to this competition

now that i have googled i see it's very obvious when i've been uh you know when i was writing these down i really thought this was the one that whoever goes first it's just a gimme it's should have been well you should have picked any other character besides him. Like, I don't know. Pick anybody else. I'm telling you how to play your own game. Untouchables is incorrect. Julianne, tell them the right answer.

Okay. So this is great because when he, when this care, Henry Hill first meets Joe Pesci, he says, nice to meet you, Henry. And it's in Goodfellas. Yes. Which is a movie that I watch about 70 times a year to be fair. It's a great movie. Yeah.

Scorsese, as much of an artist and genius as he is, he has gone on record and it shows when you watch his films that he uses the best take no matter what goes wrong in it. Well, if it takes her long, there's got to be something that gets messed up but he loves uh you know i mean he does not care about continuity like

you know shirts are buttoned and unbuttoned uh over all the time in his movies oh yeah cigarettes are a big people will inhale and never exhale yeah he doesn't concern himself with that stuff. He's like, anybody that's looking at that isn't really paying attention to what I'm trying to tell them. All right, so Julianne's just running away with this game. It's a great game.

Should we do one more, or are you too embarrassed to continue? No, one redemption. I've got to pick one. At least that's a movie I've seen, so I feel like I should have had that one. So go ahead. Okay. This one, I, you know, I just,

I don't know what people know or what they've seen, but I feel like this is also one that might be, well, we'll see. It's in the zeitgeist. Okay. What movie should be called Andy Sachs and the boss bitch? Oh no. Andy Sachs and the Boss Bitch. Okay. I'm going to go abstract.

You could be talking about a dog that runs the household, but Beethoven. Why am I sticking with 90s movies that nobody, nobody wants to remember having seen? Andy Sachs. You know what that, that character name, even if it's based on a real person does not ring a bell. I can hear the gears turning in Julian's head right now, but I have to make a guess. Boss bitch. Who is a boss? That's a dog. Okay. That would be Clifford. The big red dog that is coming out in theaters very soon no okay thanks for giving me a shot jonah well the boss bitch that i thought

i was thinking i was like oh it's maybe it's rocket man but i don't think andy sacks was elton john's real name so that took that out of my head um because i was thinking i was like, oh, maybe it's Rocket Man, but I don't think Andy Sachs was Elton John's real name. So that took that out of my head because I was thinking I was like, that was that was a fun way to do it. Because Andy Sachs changed his name to Elton John Rocket Man. I don't I don't I have shit. I have nothing. Would have been a good guess. That makes sense. What was Elton John's real name? Reginald Dwight. John Elton.

He flipped it on him. Reginald. Maybe this is one Julianne doesn't know. No, I'm sorry. I know this one. I really apologize. This is another movie you guys probably at least watch once a year because it's constantly on TV.

I believe the boss bitch is Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. That's correct. Of course course i've never seen it i was leaning so heavily on dogs yeah yeah probably just a regular bitch you're probably also thinking andy was a boss i like how there's a clue in every one of your like a keyword if you just seize in on that keyword, you can get it. Like sham show or boss bitch. Yeah, I think also in the case of Julianne, she just knows the names of these characters. Yeah. That helps a lot too. What is that?

That's a skill. Do you remember the characters in films? I mean, I can't remember real people's names. So that's, you know, that's what happens. Just exclusively movie characters. Doug, even though I got none of these right. And I think the game is stupid and it sucks. You did a really good job writing. I'm more like addicted to the game now and I have to at least get one. We're not leaving this podcast until I can figure one out. This is your Zodiac.

one out this is your zodiac yes all right so i wrote one that was like uh intended to be like a tiebreaker between two people whoever could get it first oh no just so that abby and jonah have some satisfaction it's just gonna dig it deeper but i'll ask julianne to sit this one out okay she's got all four correct she's gonna ask ask Julianne to rest on her laurels. Even though she knows it, she's going to be like, yeah. Go take a laurels nap. I can take a sweep. That's fine. All right.

Abby and Jonah, I'll be sad for both of you if you don't know what this is. Just let one of us buzz in first. I don't want to go first anymore. I just want, if you know it, Jonah, just shout it out. Okay. Captain Quint and the Jaws of Death. Jaws. Well, that was going to be my guess.

There was a little clue in the title on that one too. Bad or overboard. All right. There you go. Great job. Great game thanks doug oh when we come back we're gonna go to a brief message when we come back we're gonna play a game where i'm gonna predict right now that jonah and abby will do better all right because it's a little less, it's a smaller, more focused game where you actually have multiple choice what to answer. And that gives you at least a fighting chance to guess correctly.

I've done better at these games before Doug. It's not like. Yeah, but you're usually competing against men and that's easy. Good point. We'll be right back. We're back. See, that wasn't so bad.

That was pretty short. Julianne Smolenski won the first game. She won it. Anne Hathaway completist, Julianne Smolenski. You get to go first. Have you seen The Witches? Not the new one. I've seen the old one. The old one's pretty terrifying.

New one looks good. I haven't seen the new one, but I've, I've heard mixed things. And Stanley Tucci's back in that one too. So it's a little, a little, a little Andy sex and the boss bitch reunion. Nice. Rocket man. sex and the boss bitch reunion nice rocket man that would be reginald dwight and the um and the true pants and the oh and the big glasses yeah

reginald dwight and the d Weston's Troubadour alright so we're going to play one more game today and that'll determine our winner that first thing was just a warm up but Julianne does get to go first in this next one so it's going to be rough this game is called Select a Santa.

I will, like I said, I'm going to start with Julianne. He paused like there was supposed to be a jingle of some sort. Yeah. I know, right? You got to put a sound effect in there. You really do. Producer Ryan, be sure to put some, like, jingling bells right there. Yeah, and then put this over that.

Ho, ho, ho, pick me. All right, that should be good. Just leave that where it is. I'll name a movie and go to you one at a time, starting with Julianne. And she gets to guess between three options. You have to tell me which of these people is in this movie. And it's all people who have famously played Santa. You have to choose between Tim Allen, Ed Asner, or Billy Bob Thornton.

Gotcha. So it's either Allen, Asner, or Thornton, who were, of course, Santa and Santa Claus, Elf, and Bad Santa 1 and 2. If Julianne misses, then it goes to Jonah. And if Jonah misses, then, Abby, all you got to do is just scoop up that gimme point. Can't wait. It'll be narrowed down nicely. Great.

All right. Is everybody ready to go, go, go? Pick me. Oh. Yes. Julianne? Yeah? Which one of those people is in something called

Academy Boys with a Z? Academy Boys. Wow. With a Z. Wow. Asner or Thornton? I don't think I don't know this movie at all. I don't think I don't know this movie at all. I don't think it's Asner.

Unless it's like a movie about a school or something. Oh God, this is tough. All right. I'm just going to guess Thornton. That's incorrect. Figured. Finally, finally, you don't. Finally, my reign of terror is over. Yeah. Abby, what do you think between that leaves Alan or or Asner?

I thought I got to scoop up the gimme points after Jonah guesses. Oh, no, no, no. He's right. Yeah, I said the order wrong earlier, but it'll still come back to you in another way. Sure, sure. Let's go. I just don't see Tim Allen being in movies pre-Home Improvement. So let me say Ed Asner was in Academy Boys. I don't understand your logic, but that is the correct answer. Meaning I thought his first film was like,

I don't even remember the name of it. The Jumanji kid. Remember when he's the dad of a kid from a jungle to jungle. Yeah. I thought, I thought his career was all jungle to jungle Santa Claus, like the heyday after home. Santa Claus was definitely the first that in toy story came on the heels of home improvement. But then after that, he's been in a lot of movies, Wild Hogs. Shocking number of movies. OK. But in this case, it was Ed Asner. And I'm sure that he does play like the

principal of the Academy or something. Mm hmm. So Abby's on the board with one point. Jonah, you get to go first. Feels good. So Abby's on the board with one point. Jonah, you get to go first. Feels good.

Jonah, which one of those actors was in a movie called Love and Action in Chicago? I'm going to say Billy Bob Thornton. That's incorrect. Wow. Back to you, Julianne. Oh, God. Okay. It's not Billy Bob Thornton.

Again, I feel like the Abby logic. I feel like if there's a Tim Allen movie, you know about it. I'm going to go with Asner. That is correct. Damn it. If it ain't Jungle the Jungle. We're not biting. I'd be so happy if Jonah gets no points today.

Wow. I mean helps it helps the case for the podcast because i don't know anything shut out i'm gonna ask questions it's a learning podcast yeah like anyone sitting around going i'm not listening to his podcast he doesn't know anything about the film of Tim Allen. This guy hasn't seen Academy Boys with a Z? No. I don't know. Is he only going to bring up the one movie he knows, Jaws? Okay.

Harsh critics, but they're still tuning in. We're back to Abby with the next one. Uh-huh. This is a film called Tropical Snow. Okay. Just based on sat algorithms i'm gonna say thornton because he hasn't he's been a no for the first two that's always a smart way to play but that is incorrect oh it's never thornton what do you think uh who's next? Jonah? Tropical Snow. Tropical Snow. Ed Asner.

The other role of this game. It's always Asner. That's incorrect. Fucking A, come on. Oh, not the gimme point. Take it. Julianne, if you can remember the other two answers, that's all you need. Tim Allen?

That is correct. No. That didn't feel good. Tim Allen played the role of baggage handler. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah, the classic baggage handler.

A lot of kids dress the classic baggage handler. You know, a lot of kids dress up like baggage handler on Halloween this year. Tropical snow spelled without a W. Yeah, I think that one was a. No, that's a shack. I think that's something he did when he had home improvement hadn't even happened yet. He was just a popular standoff. Cocaine dealer. Yeah, so it's a movie about the drug trade in the caribbean

give me some it's not about it is about cocaine oh my gosh could that have been what got him into it all uh so julianne has a point and abby has a point and uh abby gets to go first on this next one great which one of those dudes is in a movie called Three Geysers? And Geysers has right after it is an exclamation point. Always exciting in a title. Is that a sequel to Academy Boys? Three Geysers. You knew them from Academy Boys.

Oh, just because. Well, you know know i don't have to explain the logic but i guess i'll try uh tim allen was in wild hogs which i call mild hogs whoa holy that's already take that so that's already a uh you know, old, old gentleman, buddy comedy. And Asner, I feel like likes to be the lone older guy in a film. I'm sure he's done an old man, buddy comedy, but so I'm going to go with Thornton,

even though he was like bad grandpa. So the old men he plays are not cute. I think geezers belongs to Thornton. Oh, did I lose you guys? I don't hear anybody. I don't hear anybody either. I hear you guys. I just don't hear Doug. Okay.

There you are, Doug. There you are. There's Doug. I thought you were just giving like a dramatic pop. I did too. No, I think what happened was I just said it so dramatically that it was too quiet to be micro for the microphone to pick it up oh but take it back to one it's yeah take it back to one jonah it's that is incorrect oh darn all right thanks thank you i'm sorry. Thank you. You certainly may have another.

Now, I've watched way too many reality competitions where you're just honored to be there. It's like, just give it. Thank you, chef. Yeah, exactly. In British Baking Show, when they're like, this was stodgy. Thank you. Right. Thank you. Okay, pack your knives, Abby, but don't leave. Jonah, what do you think it is?

An azer. That's incorrect. What are you fucking talking about? Is Tim like, Tim is not one of the geezers, is he? I don't think so, no. I think it's early enough in his career that he just went, probably is the guy that walks by going,

what's with those three geezers over there? Oh, he had the titular line. You knew he was up. He was going to use a rocket of fame. You also failed to tell us that three geezers is just the number three. I just looked it up. They don't even spell it out. What else could it be besides the number three?

I mean, I would think they would spell it out. T-H-R-E-E, but they didn't. They made it edgy with the number three geezers. Well, because it's from the makers of Academy Boys. Your three favorite headmasters are back. The new adventure all of their own. So we should have Julianne. You need to officially answer the question to get the point. Yeah, to be fair, it's really hard to keep remembering the words Tim Allen, but...

I think Doug really buried the lead when he just kind of says... He didn't even bury it. He just plopped it in front of us and said, like, yeah, Tim Allen's been in an insane, a shocking number of movies. Yeah, that should have been our giveaway. Yeah. And if he wasn't, then he might be in it. Yeah. All right.

So we're back to Abby again. All right. Which one of these dudes was in a movie called Santa Stole Our Dog, A Merry Doggone Christmas? Santa Stole

Our Dog, A Merry Doggone Christmas. It has dog our dog. A merry doggone Christmas. It has dog on it. I'm going to say Asner. I mean, how could he say no to a script like that? I don't think he can. I think he has to say yes to everything where he's supposed to play Santa because that is correct. Yay!

He's just got a good heart. Yeah. Now let's go to Jonah. Fine. Yeah. Now let's go to Jonah. Hi. Which one of those dudes was in a movie called Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage? Fuck you, Doug.

Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage. Sounds like a Hallmark movie. Yeah. I don't, this can't be, there's no, it's got to be Ed Asner. It's just, it's got to be. What, how much would you wager? All my points. I'll give all my points up for this one.

Wait a second. Well, it turns out you only point, and that's because, yes, it is. All right. Great job. Oh, God. I'm so glad this isn't live or on video. All right. You're on the board, Jonah, so anything can happen now. But Julianne gets to go first, and she's got most of the points.

happen now, but Julianne gets to go first, and she's got most of the points. In this next round, which one of those dudes is in Puss in Boots? Puss in Boots? Is this the

cat cartoon? Antonio Banderas? Vehicle? Yeah, it's the Antonio Banderas vehicle. The spinoff. Oh, God. The spinoff of the Shrek films. You know what?

It's so tempting to say Ed Asner for all of these because it seems like he's, I don't know, maybe he's the most versatile. But I feel like this one is billy bob so that's gonna be my answer that's your answer billy bob thornton yeah do we see billy bob entering the the chat i'm excited if it is you figured it out julianne that is correct yeah only julianne could resurrect resurrect Billy Bob's name into this game. Nicely done.

Thanks. Yes. Yeah, that was really good. Okay, so Abby gets to go first in this next one. Mm-hmm. I feel like I'm familiar with their films now. Which one of those fellas is in a movie called JFK? Okay, this I feel like is a no-brainer

because no one looks better in horn-rimmed glasses than billy bob thornton that's your answer it is even though i should have seen that movie by now but i've only seen clips of it through all the years that it's existed i know kevin costner's in there and and he's kind of a contemporary of billy bob yeah it's a long ass movie so uh you should probably shoot now i think as an asner could have been in it, too. But definitely not Tim Allen. Anyway, Thornton is my answer. Go ahead.

That is incorrect. Darn. Thank you. Okay. Thank you. Jonah, now that your classmate did all the math for you... What if I fuck up and say Tim Allen? I'm saying Ed Asner, but... I really want you to say Tim Allen.

I know. I just can't help but be terribly wrong every time. Ed Asner. That is absolutely correct. Yeah. Asner in like a short, like a sleeve, short sleeve button down. I could picture that in JFK. Yeah. Yeah. At a desk with like wood paneling on the walls. Absolutely

Ed Asner. Great job, Ed. Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, we're going to go back to Julianne. I bet you'll find out Billy Bob auditioned for that film and didn't get it. Ooh. This is an animated film that I, before I looked all this stuff up, I was not familiar with,

called Happily Ever After. I think this is another Anne Hathaway movie about gnomes. I have kids. Okay. But maybe I'm thinking of a different movie, too. I'm going to say Asner. I can't get anything past you today.

That is correct. Holy shit. Where there's gnomes, there's Asner. Great job. Asner as Scrowl the Owl. Okay, I didn't picture that. I'm assuming the pronunciation on Scrowl the Owl. Okay, I didn't picture that. I'm assuming the pronunciation on Scrowl. Yeah.

It's the role he was born to play. Yeah. Real first draft on that name there. Absolutely. I know, something like Scrowl the Owl. We'll figure it out later. Congratulations to Julianne Smolenski. First time on the show and just won both of the games

well i learned a lot i learned a little and and we learned as we went um one last little note which one of those three guys played my uncle on an episode of curb your enthusiasm oh uh asner i hope it was Asner. Yay! We don't have any scenes together, unfortunately, but I did get to see him leaving the set one day. Oh, wow. Yeah. Awesome. But I'm still very proud to be his nephew.

And I'm very proud of Julianne for winning today. So you get to go first. What would you like to plug? Do you have anything you'd like people to be aware of or look out for? Yeah. I have a newsletter that you can check out. It comes out very infrequently, even though we're all not doing anything right now. It's called The Minimizer.

You can check it out on sub stack. Neat. Thanks. I love that. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. This was really fun and not just because I won. Things are more fun when you're good at it, though. That's for sure. Yeah, that's definitely true. I hope.

Abby, Abby Crutchfield, how was your first time? How was it for you? Oh, it was a joy. It was a joy. I was getting a little, I was getting sweaty when I thought, oh, these are going to be all films I've never heard of before. But then it started to get fun when I hadn't heard of it. So I had a great time and I think it was very creative and fun. I smell a rebooking. What would you like to plug Abby? I have, well, I I'm excited about a project that's going to be announced soon, but I'm,

I'm technically not supposed to talk about it yet. So I'll be when we can promote this episode on social, maybe it'll coincide with the time of that. So I do have something coming up. That's very exciting that you can see on TV and yeah, look for me then. I should have gone with that. Just an exciting thing that I can't talk about yet. I can't tell you about it, you guys, but it's really exciting. I mean, I would love to, but I'm just afraid if I happen to say it and this airs at the wrong time that the whole thing will just disappear. So I don't know. I want to be professional starting this very evening. It comes out right away. Oh, good. Okay. Well then great. Then no, that's too soon to tell.

Don't mention it yet. Otherwise just follow me on Twitter at Curly Comedy and you'll hear about it there or and you'll see my jokes or watch any of the old Zoom comedy shows I've been doing. I love it. I follow. I recommend all three of you for follows on Twitter. Jonah Ray, is your name on Twitter? Just Jonah Ray? Yeah, I'm not on there really, though. I got off like earlier this year. Good for you, Jonah. Wow. No wonder I've been enjoying your tweets so much. Yeah, exactly.

I just locked myself out for my own sanity. I admire that, but I'll take over the mantle because my favorite thing you would do is you just retweet some political a-hole and then all you'd write is dork. Yeah. Well, now you can find me in the comment sections of New York times is Instagram doing that. Oh, okay.

And the new show, the new podcast from the group called misfit toys is jonah ray uh make me sit let's sit down and i heard you on part of the show like none of you could fucking remember it let me watch your movie with you it's a commentary track podcast thing that's uh that's available on all your other platforms and then also uh at the all both seasons of mystery science theater 3000 that i did are still available on netflix and then there's also a movie i did with uh felicia day and uh malcolm barrett um uh that's on hulu called puka lives fun horror comedy very cool aren't you also don't you get murdered your face murdered in a hatchet movie yeah i'm like uh i'm in the uh

spoiler i get murdered in the beginning of the last Hatchet movie. It's called Victor Crowley, which I think is on, I think it's on Starz or Shudder or something like that. Yeah, so you only have to watch it for two minutes if you just want to watch Jonah get killed. Yeah, I mean, that's probably most people listening. Probably most people listening. I got my big Rush Ticks show coming up, as everybody knows about already, on Hot Boxing Day, December 26th. That's RushTicks.com to get tickets for that. Thank you once again to all my guests, Abby Crutchfield, Jonah Ray,

Julianne Smolenski. It's been a delight. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Thanks. And I'm sorry. As always, as always, for it is plain as anyone can see, we're simply meant to be. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.