Doug Loves Movies - Adam Pally, Gillian Jacobs, and "Werner Herzog" Guest

Episode Date: September 3, 2013

Doug welcomes actors Adam Pally, Gillian Jacobs, and fan-favorite "Werner Herzog" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and and I love movies. This is Doug Moe's Movies. I think that's the trick to it,

is, like, some crowds get lucky, and they all start at the same exact time. The queue is very loose, because I just have to turn it on you guys, but it was a good try. And we're coming to you from our most weekly home at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, September 3rd, to Oceans 13. Thanks to the Green Ann Collective Gardens and everyone else who hooked me up in Seattle during Bumbershoot.

And apologies to the person whose shithead I didn't say at the end of yesterday's episode. The ending was chaotic and I only said two shitheads, so somebody didn't get their shithead in, and I apologize. Thursday night, my worlds collide once again with another podcasting

crossover event. I'll be doing a Benson movie interruption of Mommy Dearest at it's a crazy movie, at CineFamily and all in attendance are invited to join us on the patio after for a Dining with Doug and Karen taping

that will also be a dessert potluck. So bring a sweet, tasty dish and we'll try it and talk about it on the podcast. Although I don't expect the director of Mommy Dearest will show up. Might not be alive. I'll have to do some research on that.

Maybe the ghost of the director of Mommy Dearest will make an appearance. New York City, Doug Loves Movies Monday night is sold out, so come see me interrupt Cabin Fever at the Alamo Drafthouse on Tuesday, September 10th in Yonkers. It's just a short subway and then a bus ride away. Prize bag is so full of amazing things that I can barely get into it. I need to get the guests out here to really...

Of course, the Doug Loves Movies t-shirt and one of my CDs, but everything else... Oh, I gotta show you this real quick. This is a t-shirt that a fellow from a company called Keep It Kush and this is a crown

for King and then a monkey for Kong. So I guess there's a strain called King Kong, and he's smoking it. So there you go. Oh, and also, he's not here tonight, but I'm giving away Leonard Maltin's 2012 movie guide because I don't need it anymore. He just sent me. He sends them to me personally. He just sent me the 2013 movie guide. So I'm going to pay this forward and give you guys the last one.

And also there's a gift card for iTunes. You can buy premium episodes. And this is a free episode that should be a premium episode because, yeah, we got some good guests, you guys. Please welcome Gillian Jacobs, Adam Pally, and the return of Werner Herzog.

Thank you. Oh, also in this prize bag I brought, I haven't done a Doug Diggs it for a while, but I found Sideways in the bargain bin at a place, and I was like, I'm going to copy of that for you for Doug Diggs it Gillian Jacobs first of all you guys is back and she brought and emptied all the salt out of backstage a salt shaker that is an exhausted man

bent over a desk I think is what's happening there. There's a typewriter next to him. Yep. He's just bent over the desk like something's about to happen and he says there must be an easier way to make a living. Yeah. there's gotta

be easier ways than getting raped on desks. But also as a salt shaker. Why would one at mealtime wish to be reminded of the drudgery of the workday when all they are doing is trying

to forget it? Why would this be an appropriate shake of a salt? Werner Herzog, ladies and gentlemen, is back. I apologize if I have

introduced myself into the proceedings too quickly, but I felt moved to speak. Well, I wanted to talk into the proceedings too quickly, but I felt moved to speak. Well, I wanted to talk about the other things that Gillian brought. A small dreamcatcher bag. Is there someone in it?

Yes, Werner? Is there a pepper grinder shaped like someone in a coffin? No. Is there a pepper grinder shaped like someone in a coffin? No, there isn't. It's just a little weird bag. I prefer pouch. Pouch. It's a little weird pouch. And then what else did you bring?

Oh, this is the real deal. A poster for the motion picture Milo. Thank you. Milo sans Otis. This is just Milo. This isn't Milo and Otis. That's actually, yeah. Two very different pictures.

The movie is now called Bad Milo, so that's actually kind of a collector's item. People love things that are incorrect. What is the story of Bad Milo? It's about an anal demon that comes out of Ken Marino's butt and kills people and then goes back in his butt. You know, that's the typical, that's usually where the anal demons do it,

is in and out of the butt. Is this an actual size of the poster? No, that was like a special South by Southwest little thrown together rinky dink poster. So this is what they hung up around Texas telling people to go see this movie? Yeah, they were hoping they were so tired and hot that they would stumble into the anal demon movie. I mean, it just, it seems small in size. It's a low budget anal demon movie. It seems small in size. It's a low-budget film, Adam. It didn't have distribution.

It's more like a band's postcard. You go see the movie and it's just a tiny little square in the middle of the screen. The experience of putting salt on my food has drained my soul. Time to see this movie about an anal demon

and liven things up a bit. I like to have a through line through my gifts on this podcast. And then, you know, if you feel like maybe you'd like someone else's soul, you could capture it and put it in the little bag I brought and then feel restored again.

Very thoughtful gifts. Somebody's truly gonna be a winner tonight. And first time guest, Adam Pally is here. Thank you. Dude, you're in Iron Man 3. Yeah, yeah, I know. Which I've watched four or five times on planes recently.

Oh, sweet. Does it hold up? It does. It just keeps getting better. It's so weird to me how much I love it. Good, I'm glad. The first time I saw it, I was like, that's all right. And then on planes, I love it.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's because you're dealing with your own mortality. It's like eating fast food at an airport. You have to do it. Yeah. Because there's a chance you're gonna die if the plane crashes the plane crashes they can say he was doing what he loved watching watching the same movie over and over again because he did not want to watch trance you know what i mean like the choice is always like do i want to watch this for the fifth time

or one of these other things for you know half a time and i always just go with the one i already know i like and i i that movie just keeps getting better and better and you're seeing and it's very funny oh thank you very much yeah it's awesome it's so cool yeah i know i mean like people are like is it like someone was like is it cool being iron man i was like fuck yeah it's fucking awesome i went to see it in the theater and was like, fuck yeah. It's fucking awesome. I went to see it in the theater and was like, yes! There I am in Iron Man!

Like, I don't care. Fuck it. What, am I supposed to be modded? Fuck you guys. I'm in fucking Iron Man. That's cool. Did you really yell out, that's me? Yes, I did. At the premiere? Totally did. I was like, that's me? Yes, I did. At the premiere? Totally did. I was like, that's me! I did the same thing at Jack Reacher.

Yeah, man, you should be proud of that shit. You were great. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Are you out of breath? No. I've never met Werner Herzog before, but he constantly seems winded.

I conserve my energy because I'm always on guard against the assault of nature. Of course, yeah. Of course. Who wouldn't be scared of nature all the time? Sometimes I fear that clouds will get organized. Oh, yeah. That's the one thing stopping

them from attacking, their lack of organization. They're just floating around there willy-nilly. We saw what happened when the trees got together and the happening, so the clouds getting together, that's even worse, I would imagine. I love that part in The Happening when Mark Wahlberg is like,

Oh shit, the bees. He turns around, they zoom in on it closer, he's like, Oh shit, the bees. He's a high school science teacher, of course he's going to be the one to figure it out. I know. A lot of light bulbs went off

all throughout the country. Werner brought an interesting prize. It's an envelope. Should I open it? No. Just put it in the bag and don't talk about what's inside? I'm joking. You may open it if

you wish. I'll never figure out your sense of humor. It's intermittent at best. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a lovely picture of yourself. Thank you. You've gone to the trouble of signing.

You look so much younger in photos. Thank you. You've gone to the trouble of signing. You look so much younger in photos. That's because every photograph is in the past. Mind blown. Show canceled. You wrote on here, nature shall destroy us all. It's true.

But to lighten things up, I included both an X and an O. Truth, yeah, you did. These represent hugs and kisses. His face doesn't kiss anybody. So that's the least kissable face I've ever seen. Putting him back in the envelope. That was hurtful.

No, sitting over there right now, you have such a beautiful smile. In this picture, you look like you're just trying to hide a sore on your lip or something. I was told now that my acting career has begun in earnest that I should have a head shot and maybe I should have an expression on my face

that is commensurate with the types of roles for which I will most likely be auditioning, which is sort of bad guys. I'm hoping to play Mr. Freeze in the Ben Affleck Batman movie. Fuck it, I'm hoping to show up in a news van. What is this hat that you brought also?

You brought a hat and some shoes. I wasn't going to give this away, but you brought it out. You kind of stole it. Do you want to hang on to it? No, I'll give it away now. Also, we need your wallet. We need your wallet.

This is like sitting on the chair in the green room and I came out here and now it's here. Oh, this didn't belong to you either? No, it's mine. It was. and now it's here. Oh, this didn't belong to you either? No, it's mine. It was. I wore it here. Adam feels bound by the holy compact

of the prize bag that he is no longer allowed to keep his hat that he intended upon wearing home. I'm a man of my word. I swear you said to me I also brought this hat, but maybe that was just...

I didn't finish the sentence, which was like, I guess we could give it away if needed. So I guess you're in the right. Thank you. And these shoes that you brought. Yeah. You've actually worn these a bunch of times. Quite a bit. What kind are they?

I used to be on a show called Happy Endings And That makes it feel worse Makes it feel worse And Like sometimes I'd wear sneakers What's an intriguing character one of those yeah

you don't see a lot of those on TV sometimes they'll wear sneakers types yeah anyway that's the story behind those they're green they kind of light up do they light up well I mean they're Do they light up? Well, I mean, they're fluorescent.

They light up a room. You could run across a freeway with these on and have a decent shot. Keep your hat. No, I want to give it away. I have a license. I got that hat over the summer

shooting a movie that will be out next summer, hopefully. What's that called? It's called Search Party. So it's kind of a drama, like there's a missing child? There is a missing child, but it's kind of more of a romp.

It's kind of like a dude romp. Yeah, there's a kid missing, so what? Let's have some fun with it. Exactly. This feels like the pitch. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. It's like dudes looking for other dudes in the desert. And then, you know, a whole

day happened. Let me ask you guys this. Who's excited about Hot Tub Time Machine 2? Yeah. Because someone on this panel might be Werner is in Hot Tub Time Machine 2.

No spoilers. What's your deal with texting and driving? What's that all about? You made a video. I am against it. I have made a video which has been shared by many different websites and they all say a variation on the same thing.

Werner Herzog's depressing video about texting and driving. I don't know what people expected when I made a video saying, hey, try not to kill people with your cars because of your dumb texts. I don't know how wacky or heartwarming it was supposed to be. Yeah, couldn't you lighten it up a little bit, make it fun? Yeah, like Grizzly Man. Grizzly Man has its charms. I am not...

Sure, yeah, yeah, it's got its charms. I am not unaware, but yes, I would prefer that people do not. It was difficult for me because it's two things in science that I love, the automobile and texting. And, of course, I, like everyone, thought they would go wonderfully together.

But as it happens, they are a deadly combination. They could have been chocolate and peanut butter, but it turns out... It was not a Reese's moment. and chocolate and peanut butter, but it turns out... It was not a Reese's moment. I like that. I love that Werner loves texting. I picture you getting psyched

about an emoticon. Every single time. When the emoji app was invented, I threw a party. Everyone dressed as their favorite emoji. Doug, I am to give you a message from a mutual friend. Oh, please. Over the weekend, I went to a screening of a new documentary

starring Harry Dean Stanton, and he wanted me to tell you how much fun he had on your show. He did seem to have a great time. He went on and on about it to me. We were together for about four hours, and I would say he used upwards of 30 words. Did Twitter ever come up in the conversation?

Because I would love to know how you would describe Twitter to someone who's completely unfamiliar with it. I would say, and what I did say to him, because he had many questions about Twitter, he was unsatisfied with the most recent explanation he had been given. And, of course, he has a thirst for knowledge that is rivaled only by his thirst for silence. He eats that shit up, that silence.

He said to me, what is this Twitter? And I said, it is a platform whereby strangers can communicate with one another this Twitter, and I said it is a platform whereby strangers can communicate with one another and say the same things over and over again because no

one can see the entire conversation, so it's a way for you to constantly be asked the same questions endlessly and it's like having a virtual child. Was he satisfied with that description? He was satisfied. He joined.

Look for at the real HDS. There's a lot of parody accounts. There's a lot of parody Yeah, we gotta try to get him verified. Take care of that. You guys are all verified, right? Oh, yeah.

Is Warner's account verified? It is not. Really? I haven't bothered much with Twitter. How many followers do you have, Warner? I think it numbers in the thousands, but I have only tweeted a handful of times. I feel too much pressure when it comes time

to tweet something. I would like to play the hashtag games, but I feel as if somebody always gets to the good ones before I do. I can give you a tip on how to kind of get out of your head. I welcome your expertise. Get in the

car. Take a ride. Don't text while you're in it. I should point out I'm fine with people twittering in the car. That's fine. Why is that okay? It just seems to work. Adam, you've never played

you've never been on the show so you've never played the You've never been on the show, so you've never played the Leonard Maltin game before. No. Have you been... Has anybody given you any tips or anything? No. You certainly haven't seen the show. You're very busy being on a canceled program.

Yeah. It's hard work being... It's hard work not being successful. No, you're working all the time, so I don't expect you to listen to it. So we have a little card here that you can just read real quickly. Aw.

Oh, thanks. It teaches you exactly how to play. Really nice, Doug. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah, and I'm sure he'll be great against two people who have been, you both have gone on to appear in, you know,

several weeks in a row because you're so good at this game. Well. So no pressure on Adam. How long was your streak, Renner? Five weeks, I believe. Fuck. I only did, I won and then lost immediately the next week. So I don't know what kind of streak that was.

It's a two-game streak. Yeah. I'm going to... Are you about to recuse yourself? What's going to happen here? No. I started reading this. Right, and your eyes roll back into your head,

and you just wish anything else was happening. Exactly. So in order to not finish reading this card, I would say that I'll play the first round. I'll get it like that. What? We'll go the first round. I think you'll figure it out.

Yeah, I think I'll figure it out. It'll be easier for me. I'm more of a visual guy. I know it's not great for podcasts. But I'm better when I see it. Are you going to play by a series of complex micro-expressions? That's how I act. So yeah, I figure why not play an insignificant game by that same rule.

Oh. So yeah, I figure why not play a game an insignificant game by that same rule Oh Alright This will change the course of humanity Yeah Yes, because you're going to pick somebody in the audience that you want to play for People brought name tags I assume, there's, George has one right up front, it's real nice

The digi Yeah, and they're kind of spread out throughout the room. L.A. crowd's getting a little light on name tags. I don't know what that's about. Maybe summertime is a little too hot for arts and crafts. Come on, Adam. Get up. Get up, Adam.

Yeah, go pick who you want to play for while you do that. We'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back. Who are you guys playing for? What kind of name tags did you pick here? I'm playing for

a New York State driver's license of... This is a tough read. Again, I'm more of a... Again, I'm more of a visual guy. Maybe you could... I think I got you beat

maybe you could act out how you feel this is pronounced how much time was added to the production schedule of happy endings

to have your script converted into hieroglyphics I always said if it was a little more, we'd still be on the air. I think it's Osterling, Natalie, Joe Powers. I got it? Why is Osterling on top?

I don't know. Just to fuck up by the DMV? And you got it and you were like, meh, who gives a shit? Cool. All right, so Austerly? Natalie. Natalie Austerly.

Oh, okay. Natalie. Nosterly? Nosterly. All right. Well, that's a terrific name tag that you brought and it does have your name on it.

Organ donor. Gillian, what did you come up with? Well, I picked a gentleman that I have met before, and I know him by his online name, which is easier to pronounce, which is Electro Lemon. Yeah. But his real name...

This is a real Electro Lemon crowd. His real name, I cannot pronounce. So here goes nothing. Oluwade Emelade O. Adejuyi Igb. How'd I do? Eh! I did eh.

Is the last part of it really Igb? It did you wee-bay Fuck me Sorry I'm so sorry I told you I would mangle it But Electro-lemon I like to call

Alright so that's That's who we say you're playing for Is electro-lemon To be fair this name Written out looks like an alphabet and a half It It rather resembles a field sobriety test this name written out looks like an alphabet and a half. It rather resembles a field sobriety test. I think it's cool that you're playing for the fourth

bobsledder from Cool Runnings. Werner, who are you playing for down there? Forgive me if I am mispronouncing this, but I'm playing for Gina. Gina. Gina. Gina. Gina. Her name tag is a puss in boots

plush toy, which I'm sure is legal identification in some state in America. That's who we're playing for. All right. That was great. Yeah.

Everyone's super fired up now. It's been great. Yeah. Everyone's super fired up now. It's very exciting. I made a vine of it. People can look at that. Oh, my God. It's so hot in here. I don't think the podcasting audience will ever know how hot it is right now. But you guys know.

Make some noise for the heat, everybody. Now, I've never been on this show, but is it standard in the middle of it to have someone hype up the crowd like that? I don't know. I mean, it seemed natural. It felt like there was a dip in energy as Doug was vining,

so I thought for the live audience, I would keep the pace up, keep the energy up. He was probably hashtagging that, picking a channel, maybe adding our names, maybe adding Electro Lemon's vine name. He's a popular viner. I wanted to make sure that you guys were enjoying your night, and it wasn't just for the online audience. So I'm sorry, Adam.

No, no, no no but during that explanation I think that the energy dipped a can in. Woo! Woo! It's often been said that the podcast hype person will either be our salvation

or our doom. If the clouds don't kill us first. I'd like to see that on a salt shaker. Alright, so I don't know who to start with first here

in this game of Leonard Maltin because I do want Adam to pick up on it. So let's start with Gillian and then go to Werner and then to Adam. Thank you. You'll have time to figure out what's happening. Come on

you guys. Keep the energy up. Come on. Come on. Come on. This guys. Keep the energy up. Come on, come on. Come on. This is a taping. It's important that the audience sounds like they loved it. At all times. Laugh like they say

in the warm-up at TV shows. You guys just laugh at everything. Worry about if it was funny on the way home. No, they don't. Have that debate in the car. I don't know who that was supposed to be. Three categories you get to pick from,

Gillian. Would you like Sausage Fest? Yeah. That's films where Leonard lists no women in the cast. He just lists men. Or would you like Inconceivable? And that's movies that have infertile women in them.

Oh, and also, it's Charlie Sheen's birthday today. Only one person cares. Small Charlie Sheen crowd. Smaller than ElectroLamb. That girl needs some enthusiasm management, if you ask me. It's his birthday today, Charlie Sheen, so the films

of Charlie Sheen. Which one of those would you like to play? Infertility. Alright. Jumping all over that. Would you like a movie that features infertility from 2006, 2007, or 2008? I'll go with 2007. All right. Those were three banner years for films about infertility.

Three and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 2007. He says about this movie that some of the actors are terrific and that the lead performance is peerless. Yeah. And it also says it has a great title sequence.

And he lists nine names. How many names do you think you can name it in? Nine. Gillian says nine, Werner, Nine names. How many names do you think you can name it in? Nine. Gillian says nine, Werner, so you can... You know how it works. I can name that film in five names. So that's a big leap, Adam.

He only gets five names reading from the bottom of the nine. So do you think you can hear less names or do you want to challenge him to name it? I would like to challenge him to name it. Okay. Come on audience.

So say name that movie and then something insulting. I say... To his face. Name that movie and then something insulting. I say... To Warner. Say to Warner. Okay. To his face.

Name that movie, Bad Lieutenant, again. I wish that the studio had listened to me when I suggested that as the title. I don't know why it rolls off the tongue.

What's the actual title? Bad Lieutenant, colon, Port of Call. Oh, I thought Port of Call. No, you have to name the Port of Call. You can't just say Port of Call. The audience would be furious. Before I see this film, what Port of Call? I thought your point was to make the audience furious.

So wouldn't it be good to go in with the... I am sad that you interpret my films that way. I'm just trying to have fun like everybody else. How many names do you get? Five. Okay. Okay. How many names do you get?

Five. Okay. Would you come just be here every week and stand over there somewhere with a microphone and just explain what's happening the whole time? No, I value it. I value it immensely. I don't get it. All right, everybody.

We're on pins and needles. Werner Herzog only has five chances to guess the name of this movie about infertility from 2007. Can he do it? What do you think? We're on the edges of our seats. The lead performance is peerless, you say?

Mm-hmm. Cameron Bright, Rainn Wilson Wilson Olivia Thirlby J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney I don't know why everyone is so angry Is this film Juno? Yes it is Juno it is

Yeah that one had enough awesome cast members that even the bottom names gave it away. It happens sometimes. Clap. I would love to see you do a multi-cam sitcom and be the hype person, the warm-up person, so that in between, when they're like,

we're going to a commercial, you would just turn out of your scene and be like, how great was that? I enjoy the simple commands that you're giving people, and I've never seen a warm up person be Orwellian in nature but perhaps that is what it's called for

I like what I do it's so hot I can't really think anymore guys so I'm just going to need you to just keep clapping and laughing. Thank you, everybody. We'll start this next round with Gillian and go to Adam. And then Werner. And here's your options.

Okay. Not Without My Daughter. It's a Woody Allen movies since 1992. Joe Mama. That's movies with either Joe or Mama in the title. Pretty self-explanatory.

And Golden Shower's Pee Book. Which of course is movies that begin with pee. in the title. Pretty self-explanatory. And Golden Shower's P-Book, which of course is movies that begin with P. Not a scene of someone being the letter P in the title. An important clarification. Let's go with

Not Without My Daughter. All right. Would you like a Woody Allen movie from 1994 or 1995? I only get two choices. Yeah, that three choices thing was a rarity. This is more normal. Let's go with 95.

Okay. Three stars from Leonard from this movie from 1995. He calls it highly entertaining, so I don't get the three stars. Let's see if he says anything negative about it in the entire review. I don't think he does. Then where was the star going? Yeah. Why did he lose

a star on this one? Maybe he expected to find a $20 bill in the theater. Then it would have been a four-star experience. Every four-star review he gives denotes the time in which he has found a $20 bill in the theater. Directors are going to the theater he's going to

and littering it with money. Hey, we're having a screening for Malton tomorrow. Make it rain. He also says that this movie has a star-making performance in it. And yeah, so it's highly entertaining. It has a star-making performance. Only three stars, though. And then he lists a whopping 13 names.

Okay. I'm going to say five. Lucky number five. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you. Adam? I think I could do it in four. Ooh!

Oh, she did a great job of hyping this crowd. They're on my side, too. Okay. Give me this! No, you have it. Doug, I must sheepishly admit I have forgotten both the category and the year of the film. You and me both. 95.

And the category is Woody Allen movies since 92. Not without my daughter. And Adam's gone with a bold four names out of 13. I can name that film in... How many names did Adam say? Four. Three names. Wow.

Three, he says. So now it's back over to Gillian. I can name it in one. I hope that Doug says Woody Allen. I can't think of anything where he'd be 13th build, but that would be fun. I know. That would have worked out.

So what do you think? Can you go to zero names, or do you have to? Man, I think I, just by going with the fact that he puts one out every year, I think I probably could in somewhere in my mind guess what movie it was in 1995. And so, yeah, I'll give it a shot. So you say zero names. Zero names. Okay, now. And I could say, I'm reading this, I don't know if this is right, but the negative names thing.

Do you want to go negative? Well, yeah, I mean, if I'm going to name the movie, I think I could do two more. How many negative names do you think? That's reading from the top of the cast list up, down. Top down. Top down. So you think you can get the top down?

If it's the movie, I think it is. I think I could probably do like four or five. But again, I'm going to be so wrong. And I'm just going to start naming. That's the thing is you got to be careful. Yeah, because I don't know if this movie came out. But if you know who you think the top bill person is, then negative one's a pretty smart bid.

Because then you just name the movie and the top-billed person. Right, yeah. But negative two... Werner has some advice. Fortune favors the bold. That's what I would say if someone was pissed that I was texting while driving. was pissed that I was texting while driving.

Let's go two. I'll go two, and I'll just guess the movie. Negative two, okay. So now we're back to Werner. Werner again. Adam Pally, I would like you to name that movie. Werner. Werner again.

Adam Pally, I would like you to name that movie. Now is the point at which you clap excitedly. So what you have to do is you have to name the movie and the one single top-billed person in this movie. You have to name two. I said two. Oh, you said two? Okay, so the top two. Okay.

There's another clue I wish I could give you right now, but in fairness... When are you going to tell me if I'm wrong? Immediately. Like, after I say the movie? I'll let you say all three things. Okay. And then we assess from there.

My guess is that the movie is small time crooks. A guy in the audience just turned a can upside down and went I honestly can't tell if I was wrong or right by that reaction. He could have been hoping for a lot of things. I guess I'm wrong. Werner, what's the funniest noise that you make just to entertain yourself?

Do you ever make funny noises? Sometimes if there is a child on the set, I will pull funny faces and make sounds to amuse them. It hasn't happened yet, but one of my go-to's, one of my go-to funny noises for a child

goes like this. Oh my god. Wow. Which is a sigh of pure I hope you never work with children, because that's going to be bad. I'm doing babies another day out.

That same baby? It's the same baby. The actor is now 22 years old. He will be wearing a diaper and crawling along with birders and skyscrapers. And who are the top two build people in that?

The top two build? Well, not considering Woody Allen, I think it would be Tracy Ullman and John Lovitz okay well the movie was wrong it's

it's Mighty Aphrodite I feel that I was close I was close to years then and the clue I want to give is that Woody Allen movies are always alphabetical

and Len goes along with that so it would have been very tough for anyone to know that the top billed person person in Mighty Ever Divey is F. Murray Abraham. I still don't think I get the game.

You got it enough to act like you could participate, and that's what I appreciate about you. That's how I gamble. Yeah. And we'll try it again some other time, but for now, Werner is our champion with two points. I must confess,

I had no idea that was the case. I wasn't following the game too closely. Perhaps Gillian is right and the heat is overwhelming. Do you think you could come back in two weeks, maybe? Let me check my schedule. Okay. Thank God we're not driving right now.

Who were you playing for? Where is she? I was playing for Gina. She's over there. Gina, come get your prize bag, Gina. Congratulations. Gina come get your prize bag Gina. Congratulations. Gina! It's heavy be careful. There you go. Enjoy that hat.

Enjoy that hat. These other two folks Electro Lemon and Natalie if you could come up here and write down somebody for me to call a shithead because you obviously didn't write it on the back of your credit card and or ID. for me to call a shithead, because you obviously didn't write it on the back of your credit card and or ID. You don't want a cop looking at that. Some people write that on the back of their credit card

instead of their signature. They write whom they deem to be a shithead. Okay, Electro Lemon really wrote a long thing. See if you can win the brevity award. Oh, you're not trying very hard. God damn it. It's a dead heat. Apologies.

Put your hands together. We almost forgot your license. Here's your license. Whoa! Yes! She caught it! Woo! Now that I understand.

Yeah, Gilly, could you come back in two weeks and do that some more? Yeah, I would love to. We'll just give you a mic and a place to stand. If I'm free, if my chaise d'oeuvre is free, I will come back in two weeks. Would you also wear around your neck an oversized clock? Just give you a mic and a place to stand. If I'm free, if my chaise d'oeuvre is free, I will come back in two weeks. Would you also wear around your neck an oversized clock?

Flavor Flav? Sure. Who's that? If you were unfamiliar, why would you even think that was a person's name? Yelling out Flavor Flames. Wait a minute, I thought... I don't think neither of you understood what happened. That was a good catch, Doug.

Because he... It doesn't matter. I'm glad you held my feet to the fire on that one. Raked him over those coals. Wait, raked or raped? Depends if we're at a desk. Yeah. Because raped over the coals is really much worse.

I don't know. I mean, let's debate. Let's debate this for a second. I mean, if you're on coals, if you're on hot coals, right? Maybe the rape would be less of a concern. Yeah, like you're already... Like, that's the thing, right?

You're lit, your feet... Like, if it was like, get on those hot coals and now get raped, you'd be like, well, I'm already here. The other guests have their mics down. That means that they don't want to contribute to this conversation. I'm shocked Jillian has her mic down. I gotta be honest. Yeah, why is she

hyping this part of the show up? I guess my energy here is just right. I would love it if, do you think we could throw together like a happy endings episode of this podcast and get the whole cast down here? Do you think that's possible? Oh, yeah, sure. No one is doing anything.

Everyone's crazy busy. New Girl took him back right away. Yeah, I think he was contractually obligated to do that. I think they signed it as like, as soon as that shit you're on gets cancelled, you're coming back here. Do you feel as if the producers of New Girl had a hand in the cancellation of Happy Endings?

No, no. Follow the money, Adam. Follow the money. This thing stinks to high heaven. And I would hope, Gillian, maybe we could get a community cast sans Chevy. No Chevy.

He's not invited. He's also back on New Girl. And Werner, what are the chances? How about a Grizzly Man panel? There would be one person I'm pretty sure cannot make it. The bears are cool, though. What? What?

Seriously, read that shithead at the bottom. Does that make sense to you? Yes. yes John McClane no do not read it do not read it is it only the one

has been written down no there's another one on there I understand the other one but they didn't do it on the line people go rogue on this all the time would you like me to read it if you are having trouble the line. People go rogue on this all the time.

Would you like me to read it if you are having trouble? Shall I whisper it in your ear? Take a puff from your inhaler first, pal. We will see who is puffing when the clouds come down. I just don't know what that last word is. What's the last word? I do.

What is it? Hearing. Hearing. Okay, hearing. Hearing. I thought it was wearing or meeting. All right. How? How?

Meeting? All right. How? I know, in context, I should have figured it out. Yes, do you ever use context as a tool to help you determine what things might be? No, that's exhausting. I've got other things to think about. Who has the time? That's exhausting. I've got other things to think about.

Who has the time? I would like to see this little statue of you with four holes in the top of your head. Yeah, right now you look like that salt shaker. And the legend beneath you would say,

I don't have time for context. That's right, because I am a legend. But I do have time for context. That's right, because I am a legend. But I do have time for bracelets. It's become a bit of a roast in here. I have some... It is really hot in here. As soon as you let it super hot in here.

Everyone's so quick to call something a roast. It's like, hey, nice jacket. Whoa, everybody... It was a roast all of a sudden? I didn't prepare my material. Anyway, I got a lot of beefs about small things. You guys want to read my humorous book? It's coming out.

Nice jacket is a pretty mean thing to say when you see somebody. It's fucking bullshit. Give me a real compliment. How do you really feel about the jacket? It's not being nice to you. Anyway, these are all in my book. Thank you to my guests,

Adam Pally, Gilead Jacobs, and Werner Herzog. At this point, everyone, applause. And as always, ABC canceling happy endings is a shithead. Yes, yes. That's nice. Thank you. Natalie.

You know what? Thank you, Natalie. It's Natalie. My name's Natalie. How'd she get a microphone? Good roast. That was a good roast of Natalie. We really raped her over the cold. You didn't say the other shithead yet. It's true. Are you saving it for the end? You don't like other shithead.

It's true. Are you saving it for the end? You don't like that shithead? You're not going to say the other shithead? Okay, okay. That's a good one. Are you sure? It's a really good picture. I've seen some of your photographic efforts before. There's been some blurry ones.

Because I just do it too quickly. I just want to get it out. Do you mean to say there have not been other blurry ones? They're mostly blurry. But I figure people appreciate that more than no picture at all.

I could be wrong. You could be. Yes. And John McCain playing poker at a war hearing is a shithead. Now it's time for us to watch a other talk. He hides a bolded view and cowards make him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.